My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 531: Mighty Morphin’ Grown-Up Power Rangers

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Not now, Zordon. Christ, every time you come around here, we’re supposed to drop everything and mount up? Like, we know Rita Repulsa and her gooey guys are causing trouble, but we’ve got a PTA meeting this afternoon that we absolutely cannot miss.Suggested talking points: Okay Week, It’s a Wonderful Keys, Go Go Grown-Up Rangers, Firefighter Food Faux Pas, KFCharcuterie, Charlotte’s Decorative GourdWays to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://linktr.ee/blacklivesmatterRegister to vote: https://vote.gov/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me. An advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. And me? Well, I'm your middleest brother, Travis McElroy. I'm your youngest one, Griffin McElroy. Why do we laugh? We record these on Thursdays.

We have no fucking idea what kind of a weekend ahead of us we have. Laughter may not be the order of the day come Monday afternoon, but I don't know, man. May as well laugh when you can, right? All things considered, not a bad way. All things considered. Not a bad week. Comparatively. Comparatively. Comparatively. All things considered. All things considered. If you were to take all things into consideration, not a bad week. Here's what I was going to say.

If you told me one calendar year ago that the week that contained a day that I woke up with a fever thinking I had a deadly virus, then got tested for that deadly virus, and I would think of that week as a pretty good week. I would have not believed what you were saying. I would not have believed it, but that situation did transpire. Everything's fine. But still, pretty good week. You know, if you had told me when I was a young lad of, say, eight or nine, that there would come a week where a fly landing on someone's head was national news, I would have laughed in your face.

Funny. And he landed there. I would have laughed in your face. The bug landed there because it was shit. And he smelled the shit, and he wanted to eat it and barf on it, which is what flies. That's pretty much what everyone's going with. Shit! It's fucking good, man. I do want to point out two things. One, still very bad things have happened during the week. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a terrible, terrible, terrible week.

But also, it's Thursday at 1.42 central time, which is the only time zone that matters to me. By the time this episode comes out, there are three days, dudes, where totally not righteous stuff can, will, yeah, will happen. Yeah, we're recording this several days before, so absolutely. So I don't know why you guys are calling this fucking wild. I guess it's... Calendar. I'm going by calendar since last Thursday, Thursday to Thursday. Now, let me say this. If we were able to cut and paste this week into, say, like, 2011,

this would have been the worst week of 2011. You know what I mean? Like, that's what I'm talking about. But here, in 2020... A fly landed on our American vice president's head. Wouldn't that have been ironic? We landed on Joe Biden's head back in 2010. Now, the dots are starting to connect. Thank you, Travis. The fly was a little tiny drone. That's wild to think about. But it's definitely true. Now, here's what I'm wondering. Are we going to say, man, I hope this isn't true, but like,

in 2030, we'll look back on this week and be like, that's just... Nobody can withstand this. You're probably right. Or maybe we'll look back and be like, there's no way that week happens. If I'm still allowed to think in 2030, I will consider that a success. That's right. Yeah. That will be a high watermark. That is fair.

That is fair. This is my brother, my brother, me. It's a vice-chair for the modern era. We're so happy to be here with you. We got a special guest, the fly. Here he is. I can't believe we... I landed on the dude's head because it's his... The things are saying is total bullshit.

So are you voting for Joe Biden? I'm actually, as all bugs are, a registered libertarian. Yeah, well, he's heard Juergens and like Ken Bone. I did have a thought, you guys. Can you imagine, here we are four years later, to be Ken Bone and to look at the news and realize I share the same amount of public affection as a fly does now. Like in 2016, he was the fly. The fly is the Ken Bone of 2020.

The fly is the Ken Bone. The Ken Bone is the fly. That must be a sobering realization. I cannot believe... Can we briefly... I'm just going to briefly talk about Ken Bone, who is, by the way, not a good person. No. Judging by their read of history, not a good person, Ken Bone.

So I want to say that up front, established. Second thing I want to say, can you imagine... There was a person who was so he-ha-stupid that they couldn't pick who they wanted to be the president. And a real reporter, a paid reporter, was like, I have got to check back in with that dude and see where his head was at. He was so, so absolutely out of his melon that he couldn't make a decision. I wonder where his head is at now.

This is a big thinker. I got to see where he's at. A free thinker. A free thinker. I was thinking of it that way, Juice. He's free to take his vote and flush it right on the fucking toilet. Okay. Ken Bone also...

He probably only owns Red Sweaters, right? At this point, he's a full-blown bone. Yeah. He's a full-blown bone. Full-blown bone. That's his thing, you know what I mean? Like, he only knows how to beat Ken Bone. I hope he's doing the con circuit.

Anyway, I hope he's not, because if he is, I'm going to have to see him. And I'm going to have to say, I wish they could have gotten the fly. Too bad the fly is too popular. God, we could do more fly stuff, but you know, it's going to be on SNL. And this will come out after SNL. No, we're beating up. Well, let's call it. Oh, let's call it.

This will be fun. We're recording this three days before then. What do you think is going to... I think it'll be probably a weekend update bit. Fuck. No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. It's in the intro.

Oh, really? It's like they zoom in on the fly, and it's like Fred Armisen is back to be the fly. Oh, shit. Oh, that's good. That's good. What if it's like a Godfather kind of thing where the guy, Jim Carrey, he's playing Jabbiden, and Jabbiden is like sitting in his desk, but it's like, you know, one downward light and the fly comes, and Jabbiden's like, you did it.

The thing, yeah, yeah. Now what can I do for you? And the fly's like, I just want a big pile of shit to like do rails up or whatever. I don't, I haven't seen Godfather. And then Jabbiden's like, you got it live from New York Saturday night. That's it, that's it, that's it. Didn't watch, couldn't bring myself to watch Jim Carrey's Jabbiden. Because I just saw the thumbnail, which I was like, I don't think my anxiety over this election

is so high that I do not need my man Ace Ventura in there sort of poking about my neurons, getting them all twisted up, getting me, I mean, busting, busting my gut, busting my family's gut, for sure. I guess I just worry that if I saw it, it would bust my gut so hard that all my intestines would spill out, which would be pretty spooky. Yeah, happy Halloween, everybody. All right. Oh, the fly, sexy, the fly is going to be huge this Halloween.

Oh my God. Sexy, the fly. I mean, flies are already. What if they get go, what if they get goblum? What if they get go, what if they get goblum? Okay, let's help. Last week after working at my current job for nearly two and a half years, my boss finally granted me lockup privileges.

Nice. That is, of course, if you haven't been in a job for a while, you are allowed to lock up insubordinate employees until they do things the subway way. Right, in the boo boo box. Which is also where they keep the vegetables. When he gave me the key, he said, no, don't you lose this? And throughout the week, he kept telling me to take good care of it. At the end of the last day, before I was going to open the store by myself for the first time,

he said, you sure you're ready? You haven't lost the key? I got so annoyed that I kind of snapped, no, I haven't lost it since the last time you asked. Now, I'm sure you can tell where this is going. Because when I got home, I couldn't find the damn key anywhere. So please, how the hell do I tell my boss that I lost the freaking key? Do I just not open the store tomorrow and I hope he doesn't notice? How will I ever gain back his misplaced trials that's from lockdown and ashamed?

Oh, you're never going to gain back that trial. How could you possibly have fucked this up so bad? So frustrated with you. You got it. I'll tell you my theory. My theory, as you like, when your boss handed it to you, it fell out of your pocket as you were leaving the room like that long ago and your boss picked it up and was like, well, I'm going to give them a fucking hard time about this.

I love that. That's very possible. The boss knew the whole time. Oh, yeah. Or the boss stole it. Yeah. They caught me if you can, dear. I have a good, I mean, to use another film reference as a solution.

It's a wonderful life. Huh. Oh, your uncle Billy. Your uncle Billy, you lost the key or the money or the key. So George is like, this sucks. But then I'm fucked. I'm fucked on the hand. You fucked me, Billy.

I told my boss. You fucked me. Billy, Billy, I'm fucked. You make me look like a real fucking idiot. Billy. Well, well, well, well, you fucked me in the ass, Billy. Billy, I got kids, Billy. You fuck.

I'm an angel. Billy, you're fucking me in front of my kids. I'm an angel sent by Jesus, but I can't even around all this. Billy, Billy, are you pulling my hair? Are you pulling my hair? Because I like to have my hair pulled when I get fucked, Billy. That was a long interruption for what is not going to be a very good idea. But I was saying that all the townspeople

who you've helped with your generosity and selflessness over the years will come and give you their keys. Now, unless those townspeople live at the subway girlfriend, it's not going to help. I think that one of the keys will be close enough to fit that it'll open the door. That's true. You could use God's keys, which is what I call a brick.

Okay. Smash that door in. And then when your boss comes, you say, I found it like this boss, but I'm not leaving here until it gets repaired. And bad news, somebody stole the key too out of my pocket while I was picking up glass. What's bad is like I was going to suggest that. So that is actually troubling.

What, the smashing the window or the stealing the key? Smash the window, you put a brick through the window, you reach around, you open it and they're like, they got, they got you. I'm sorry, boss, but they got you. They got you again. Classic prank. The old window brick.

I haven't, can I do a yahoo? Yeah, I love that. This one's sent in by Steven. Thank you, Steven. It's a yahoo answer. Anonymous yahoo answer user. So I'm going to. Sorry, real quick to jump back.

You should tell your boss you lost it because the satisfaction they'll feel at that will. What a gift. Yeah. They'll be so overwhelmingly positive for them. Brandon asks, stupid Power Rangers question. Yeah. No such thing, but go on.

There are no, there's no such thing as a stupid Power Rangers question. Just stupid people. Just stupid Power Rangers. Stupid actors. In the beginning of the show, when Zordon needs new Power Rangers, why did he ask for teenagers with attitudes? Wouldn't it be better to get some guys that have formal special ops training? It just seems irresponsible.

No. Oh God, that is a stupid. I'm sorry. That is a stupid question. Obviously Zordon wanted to be able to train them himself, right? If you get people special ops training, they're going to do it the way they've been trained. Okay.

But Zordon doesn't ever pop out of his hologram display and is like, let me show you teens how to do a real bicycle kick. This is where to put your hands to snap a man's neck. And that fucking robot's not teaching them how to do their moves. Alpha five, no way. No way. So they just like, they have their little power coins and that gives them all the training they need.

Zordon doesn't teach them shit. So a little bit of like endemic, systemic fighting knowledge in a stable adult, like with a 401K, like somebody who is financially independent and has their, just they're very confident in themselves. Okay Griffin, let's try that out. I'll be the adult with formal special ops training like I have. And you are Zordon trying to recruit me to your power ranger group, I guess. Tony, I am Zordon.

I know that you know all kinds of cool fighting moves and you have a big job with the city and an apartment in the city. You are in a long term dating relationship. Yeah, it's getting pretty serious. And your fighting abilities are, they exist and you can do them. So Rita Repulsa is back and she's got all of her gooey guys doing their bad stuff. Okay, what do you want me to do? Well, I'm going to, I'll let me fucking finish.

I have this little power coin and it lets you turn, it changes your clothes into different, like a superhero clothes and then you will get sometimes a dinosaur robot. Huh, well, I like the dinosaur robot part, but like, what does it pay? I don't, I told you about the power coin and the dinosaur robot. No, I know that, but like, as you mentioned, I have an apartment. I need to pay rent. Like what's, what's the pay? Excuse me for a moment, Tony.

Okay. Can my girlfriend's kids come hang out at the power base or whatever? Because sometimes I, and like, what's parking and like, what's the healthcare scenario? I actually watch them. She goes to night school. So I actually watch them a lot of the time. They're cool. Most, you can give them like a Paw Patrol color book and they'll be fine.

They'll be fine or make them a, what's it, power people or whatever? Can they be like tiny power people? Wait, why didn't I think of that? I can just make everyone on earth power people and then Rita's really fucked, isn't she? Well, we thought about like restructuring. What's a robot for? I mean, no offense robot, but like. Well, sometimes the gooey guys get real big, Tony.

Uh-huh. Do you think Zordon's ever like, you didn't lose your morpher, did you? Did you? Did you promise me? Yeah, Zordon, sorry. My mom found my morpher and she used it. So now she's just flying a pterodactyl around. My mom found my morpher and she thought it was a bong and she grounded me.

Zordon, now I can't do any crime fighting today. So thanks so much, Zordon. Thanks so much. Please FaceTime my mom. Please take my mom on a date. So she will. Zordon, I need you to seduce my mom. Zordon, seduce my mom so she'll leave the house and I can foil reader repulsants plans.

How many fucking times do I have to tell you, dad? I mean, Zordon, oops. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Zordon. Happens to me all the time. Get the fuck out of here, get out of here. What is the robot's name? Isn't it Alpha Five? It's Alpha Five.

Alpha Five. Okay, sure, sure. Do you think that Power Rangers ever asked Zordon for help with their homework? Yeah. Yeah, probably. There's an Alpha Five as a robot. Just do my, hey, listen, here's the deal. If you want me to fight reader repulsing, you gotta do my homework for me, Alpha Five,

because I can't get it. These kids are going to be so busy fighting crime. They're going to go to college and they're going to be like, so anyway, open your books. And they're like, I never learned to read. I was too busy punching a big, I don't know, octopus thing. Hey, Zordon, how do you ask a girl on a date? You just teleport her to your science station. Give her a big coin.

I don't think that's okay. That doesn't seem right. Have you tried showing her your Xenon crystals? No. No, I mean, not without consent. I didn't think she would like my Xenon crystals. I think if I did get visited by an angel of Zordon's and they offered me to be a grown-up Power Ranger, I would probably, and like they would give me a coin that let me transform

into cool suits and get a dinosaur robot. I still think it's going to be a no. Like as neat as that sounds, it's, it also sounds like a great, a great deal of work for what, as Justin pointed, or as Travis pointed out, one of you fucking guys pointed out is an unpaid internship with a space, with a space alien. And if I'm being honest, I mean, I'm 36 years old, almost 37. I got two kids. But the truth is being a Power Ranger is a level of responsibility.

I don't think I could handle. And I don't even mean like fighting the bad guys. I mean, those Zords look pretty difficult to pilot. Yeah. I think I fucked that up pretty bad. And I don't think you can get insurance on those dang things. It's just that Rita's going to keep sending her gooey guys. So like if we, it's easy for me to like say, no, I don't want this responsibility.

And somebody, you know, braver with me with more free time would say yes. But I guess that makes me a bad person. Shit. No. The major thing would have made sense if he had only gotten homeschool kids. Okay. Go go Mighty Morphin homeschool kid Power Rangers. Now why is that?

And it's like they have incredible, like adult shaped bodies, live, powerful in the prime of their lives. But they also like don't have to be in school. They could just sort of tell their mom, like, listen, mom, I'm going to go, I don't know, actualize or something. What a homeschool parents. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, that kind of thing. I'm going to meditate. Hey, weren't the big bad Betelborgs like literally 10? We actually try this. I got a letter. Oh, no. Yeah. I got a letter from podcasts that we are, we as a podcast have talked about big bad

Betelborgs. The maximum number of times. We used up our big bad Betel quota. Yeah, we did. It looks like in 2022, more slots are going to open up, Trav. Some episodes, like 623 or so. If my math adds up, maybe we can. I'll save it.

What we are doing is entering into sort of a cap and trade situation with 99% visible, which to my knowledge has never talked about big bad Betelborgs. That's the other 1%. That's the 1% right there. We're buying some of their credits in exchange. We have to plug the 99% invisible city, the new book from Roman Mars and 99% invisible. We have to plug that and then they in exchange for talking about their fantastic book.

We're going to get a few credits to talk about big. Okay. Why was the house haunted? Doesn't that seem like a hat on a hat? Yeah, you're fighting things in your big bad Betelborgs and put also your house is like a haunted house. What the fuck? That's really how you're going to, huh? That's all I'm going to use it.

Let me try this. Boy, howdy. The genie character sure looks offensive, but I can't put my finger on to which people. I think it's only to Jay Leno. It's offensive to Jay Leno's. Wow. He does sure look a hell of a lot like Joseph Leno. It's a good amount.

Yeah. It's a good amount that a flabbery looks like Joseph Leno. It does kind of look like someone said, hey, can you draw Joseph Leno from memory? And they said, yeah, I think so. I think so. Do you think the Power Rangers ever went to Zordon's Secret Cave when there wasn't stuff to do and they just wanted so he to talk to you? Yeah.

Which I'm not really comfortable with. This isn't like a social thing. I have other things that I don't think you did. I have my own friends. I like to separate work and home. I'm binging justified. This isn't my thing. No spoilers.

I'm only on season two. Now leave me in my giant bong. My parents have been fighting a lot lately. Oh, gosh. Do you watch that? Oh, Rita's attacking the aquarium. Do you want another mammoth robot? Let me see what.

Hold on. Let me see what I got in the back. Okay. I'm going to send you to the moon. Is that anything we got? I got a plesiosaur robot back here. Will that help with your parents fighting? Probably.

I don't think so, Zordon. I brought Tommy back from the dead. How does that make you feel? Okay. Here's another question. I was out on my lunch break running a few errands when I spotted a taco truck. It honestly sounded amazing, so I pulled over. A few problems though.

Truck was part of the parking lot of fire station, and everyone in line had matching shirts. Was this taco truck only for the firefighters and everyone working there? How do I get in on this lunch? That's from Desperate for Tacos in Des Moines. This is, boys, this is a choice cut. This is a quandary that I feel like nobody has really tried to solve. I feel like we have an opportunity right here to plant our flag in this fertile ground.

Now, I'm going to give the question asker the benefit of the doubt and say that if the food from said truck had been given away for free, that would have been mentioned in the question. I'm going to assume that this wasn't like, ah, the chief paid for lunch for everybody or whatever. No, there's a food truck here, and they're selling their food, and you can come and get it. But this is clearly a function.

This is clearly a firefighter function. But what's the harm in- Yeah, it's a business. It's a business. They do want to make money. Now, here's where I would feel bad if we're being honest. I hop last in line thinking like, well, I'll go last. And then some other firefighters line up behind me,

Yeah. And they're waiting behind me. Do I need to rotate back and stay in the back of the line because I'm not a firefighter? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Or else you're not going to get your great kimchi fries or whatever it is that you're getting from this food truck.

Honesty. I wouldn't do it. Well, no. But I'm afraid of firefighters. Yeah. I wouldn't do it because I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing in public. Yeah.

So I would worry that I would get up there and someone somewhere on earth might think, well, he shouldn't do that. And then I would melt into the ground and die. And so that's what I need to avoid. With a food truck, there's always the concern that you hand them the money and then they just drive away. Fuck, that's happened to me so many times

where I go and I'm like, ooh, a nice gooey burger. I'll take one, here's $15, room gone. Every, it's like every time. Every time? Yeah, I'm starting to think about it, guys. It's every, I've never actually gotten food out of a truck. They always take my money and just drive right out. You know what, Griffin, now that you mention it,

there's not as many food trucks here in Cincinnati. Yeah. But yeah, every time. Huh. I did, I actually, I've got a new one called bite me. It's a food truck with Asian street food type stuff. You got, wait, you got food trucks in Huntington? Well, sort of it was in Barbasville,

it was parked outside the family dollar that used to be a ride aid, you know? Glow up. Oh, great. I drove up, I drove, I drove up there, right? And cause I wanted, I saw on Facebook, they were there and they were moving around a lot. So I was like, I'd love to try this truck.

So I get in the car and I drive up with my family. I put my family in the car. Okay. Okay. That's your first mistake. And I drive up there, I get my mask. I think, well, you know, we haven't had any sort of dining experiences in terms of like sitting in a restaurant or anything.

And I'm not going to sit in this truck, but I feel like it's fairly safe for me to roll up there with my mask, get me some food, eat it in my car. So I drove up there and I go to the guy and I walk up to the truck and I'm kind of standing there and he's kind of looking at me and I'm kind of looking at him. And he's got a legend of Cora t-shirt on. That's not relevant.

Just I want to get a little color in there. And I'm kind of standing there like a dummy. And then eventually he's like, as if he doesn't know why I'm there, it just occurs to him. And he's like, sorry, we are sold out of everything. And it's like, I am me. So I'm instantly mortified that I have bothered this person who no longer has food.

So I start compulsively congratulating him on such a nice sales day. Normal. That's wonderful. Hi, I was just checking, you win. I just had to stop by and say, I heard that you did it. And I just wanted to confirm you did it. He said, and then he said, we won't be here next week, but we'll be here the week after that.

Now, I want to say two things about this person's business strategy. One, they did not tell me where they would be next week. So there's other places I can go to. You saw my car. It's five feet away. He would not reveal to me where he was going to be. So it might have been a secret firefighter only. Invitational is the one thing.

The other thing I want to say is like, when you ran out of food in your food truck and you've told people where your food truck is, shouldn't you at that point drive away to a different location? Your restaurant is empty. It's no longer a restaurant. Now it's just a truck with a picture of a walk on the outside. Please drive away.

Please don't make me walk up to your empty truck. That would be like me walking up to, at that point, I'm walking up to any truck. Yeah. And just expecting- You got food? Food. Hey, you got food?

Well, and here, Joseph, you like the asshole. If I might suggest a food truck says you, like, if you're in a restaurant, right, you have to wait for food supplies to be delivered to you. If you run out of food in your food truck, might suggest driving to the store. Just go get some more food.

And then come back and keep making more money. Do you think one of the toughest parts of owning a food truck is investing in a really good hiding place for your food truck? Because you can't be able to, people shouldn't be able to see it if it's not, if you aren't slinging birds. So like, you need, it's a truck, so it's big. So like, getting garage space for it must be pretty tough.

You think it's just like a big tarp that they throw over them? I'll tell you what I do, Griffin. Yeah. Palm fronds. Palm fronds. Yeah, yeah. That way, when it comes to my house, front of my house is that, it's just a big pile of palm fronds.

Nothing to see here. Just some palm fronds. That Korean barbecue truck is covered in palm fronds. I'm not following the aesthetic, the theme. Justin, I want you to know, it really bothers me. And I want to admit, I can't quite put a finger on it. I don't know that you did anything wrong. But something about getting in a car to drive to a food truck

is weird to me. Yeah. Because I was under the impression that the business model was such that the reverse was true. But if a food truck parks somewhere and says, you have to come to me, I feel like maybe something has gone wrong. I mean, you're not wrong. But then, if that's the case, you've limited,

they've limited their audience to a Venn diagram of family dollar employees that would love a bond me on the go. Yeah. Which is, now I'm not saying it's zero. But is that a sustainable business? I don't know. Well, then what about drive it around, maybe play some music from the top to let people know you're coming.

Now we're talking. And you just run out of your front door and get a bond me. Do you want bond me's? They're so crunchy, crunchy green. Now go on. I don't know that I can do this again. We have pork flavor and have tofu, queen. Okay, was there a comment there?

Yeah, important question. Yeah. We got tofu, queen. That was a sort of interjection, an interjectory queen. I'm tired of giving away free money to other businesses that don't deserve it. I want to make some money for our business. That deserves it. That deserves it because we're promising young people.

And we're doing our best. We know how to truck. Listen, if I could drive around in a truck and podcast, I would. I mean, fucking Alex Jones seems to have figured it out. Let's go to the Money's Up. The Money's Up. Squarespace, deal with it. Oh, shit.

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And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code mybrother to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. Then go on Twitter and let's talk about the new season of Mindhunter. Charis is really lonely out here on the edge. Yeah, I've been trying. I don't even know if there is a new season of Mindhunter. I don't know when it's coming out. I could have said-

I don't even know what Mindhunter is 100%. I know. Groff's in it, I think. I think the Groff's in it. And I could have said Supernatural and instead I said Mindhunter and I'm kicking myself. I do appreciate adding a little spice travel variety to what is typically a sort of Supernatural stew that you cook up week in, week out on this podcast. Quip also is sponsoring this episode and they have electric toothbrushes.

Hell yeah, fuck yeah. I feel like we're coming at the listeners pretty hot and heavy. You know what, people need- sometimes they need to fire under their doves. Hey, show me your fucking teeth. Show me those fucking hobgoblin teeth. Okay, now you're getting mean. I was trying to- Pop out your grill, let's see them.

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Because it'll turn- because yeah, sure. Yeah, absolutely, Trav. Thank you. You get it. So yeah, it'll track how good you're at brushing and then it'll give you things like free products and gift cards and discounts from Quip and their partners. And yeah, if you already have a Quip, you can upgrade it with a smart motor, which lets you keep the features that you know and love and get all these other cool things.

You can get brush head, toothpaste, floss refills, deliver from just five bucks. So start getting rewards for your brushing your teeth today and go to getquip.com slash my brother right now to get your first refill free. That's your first refill free at getquip.com slash my brother, spelled G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash my brother. Quip, better oral health, made simple and rewarding. Finally, there's a point to brushing your teeth. I know, right?

I'm excited, yeah. My dentist is going to be fucking psyched. Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them? Maybe you want to know the best ones to play?

Maybe you want to know what happens to Mario when he dies? In that case, you should check out Triple Click. It's a podcast about video games. A podcast about video games? But I don't have time for that. Sure you do. Once a week, kickback as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases.

To scoops, interviews, and explanations about how video games work. To fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love. Triple Click is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton. Me, Jason Shire. And me, Maddie Myers. You can find Triple Click wherever you get your podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye.

Well, I want to munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, mpr. So I come up with a better bit, which you wouldn't think would be that hard, but here we are KFC is going to introduce new Signature Dipping Sauce ooh nationwide on October 12th Signature dipping sauce that's sure to make fried chicken fans rejoice.

Introducing KFC sauce. That's a signature sauce that's tangy and sweet with a bit of smokiness specifically designed to pair with crispy tenders. It kind of seems like they threw a lot of flavor words in there, huh? That's great. You get umami, umami and umami mixed up in there. I like it. Uh, when we set out to create a new signature sauce, we went right to the

experts, our customers. Whoa. Now, hold on, I've eaten a KFC and I'll tell you right now, I am not. You're a fucking tourist. I don't call yourself a KFC customer. I mean, I, well, there was a time in my younger years. Oh, boy, oh boy, you could, we went to our customers to find out what made a sauce best in class for dipping.

It needs to be viscous. Yeah, it can't be so wet that it just runs right off the tender, but also not too solid. No, I'm going to be able to put the tender in the tender has to be able to enter the spicy liquid. It's weird to think that dipping the physical act of dipping was the primary concern, not the eating that would fall. No, no, no, that's secondary.

If you get that primary thing wrong and you can't either can't get the tender in there or the tender don't pick nothing up, well, after that friend, what it tastes like, don't mean nothing. That, that, that's from Andrea Zachiminski, the chief marketing officer of KFC US. I, you know what? A lot of times they put the chief marketing officer in these things and I kind of find that frustrating because like their whole job is to sell stuff. So how can I know I can trust it?

Yeah, right? Yeah. Well, give me, give me the head of R and B. Yeah. I want to, I want an impartial person that doesn't care if I eat it or not to bring me my news, you know, I'm just trying to get me to eat it. I want to know what flavors they tried to put in the sauce, but couldn't quite make it work.

I want to know their shortcomings. Well, our first idea was chicken flavored sauce. We figured let's enhance it. So we just ground up a bunch of chicken. It's just like eating the chicken, you know, except much wetter. But then the problem was people just sloped the sauce and they left the salad chicken alone and we said, this is too dangerous for anyone man to have. They came in and said they don't want the chicken anymore.

They just want the sauce. It was too powerful. We had, we buried it in a bunker underneath our HQ, where it shall remain and be studied by top men. Until Rick and Morty does a fucking hysterical chicken sauce episode. Andrea continued, we went through 50 iterations and the response to this recipe was overwhelming. I'm assuming that response was please stop making me eat this fucking

sauce. Just let me see my family. Let me sleep for fuck's sake. It's been 10 days beginning October 12th in all KFC US restaurants. For what a logistical effort this is fried chicken dipping fans, which apparently exists, uh, can enjoy the new signature KFC sauce along with a newly revamped core sauce lineup of classic ranch, honey, BBQ and honey mustard. In addition to KFC hot sauce.

Yes. Oh, thank God. I wasn't afraid you weren't going to say the hot sauce. You know, yeah. Those who love dipping do indeed take sauces seriously. Some going so far as to deem chicken an edible spoon for sauce or a vessel for flavor. Oh, that's a fucking sentence from this recipe.

At least I kid you not. Hey, why did you guys stop hanging out with Derek? Oh, you'll never believe the bullshit. He said, I know, you know, Derek says a lot of bullshit, but the other day we were eating fried chicken and he said, yum, yum, edible spoon, vessel, flavor, flavor, vessel, and I had to get the fuck out of there as fast as I could and get the kids out. I haven't seen him say it.

I left, I left Jean there. I haven't seen no sense. I don't know what happened to her. I don't, I miss my wife. I'm so scared for many for getting the sauce is a meal ruiner in a recent survey from DoorDash, 75% Americans say their meal is ruined if the sauces are forgotten boy and 20% say sauce is the single most important part of a great fried chicken meal.

Okay. Sometimes I just get a bag of sauce. Can you imagine being put into a position where you, a human being on the earth has to try to come up with an opinion about the most important part of a great fried chicken meal? Um, yeah. It's the chicken, it's the chicken, the flavor of the chicken. How good it tastes to eat it.

I, let me, okay. Listen, I like dipping. I don't know who the profile of this person is. I don't know who this person is. Who's like, Oh, why do I get a fried chicken? Thank you so much for asking. Uh, I like to put it into things. Yeah.

I like to, I like how it's a spoon you can eat and I'm a dirt bag. Luckily for those who love dipping KFC's extra crispy TM tenders are perfectly designed for dipping and L in the sense that they're edible and physical. Uh, they're perfectly designed for dipping and elevate the overall sauce experience. The hills and valleys grown by KFC's extra crispy brain, little lakes of sauce on every tender, making the final bite, crispy, crunchy, embarrassing with flavor. And you know, if you're eating KFC, it may very well be the final bite. Period.

So who knows the wild topography of these crunchy boys. What's that? Oh, it's a hidden cavern full of delicious sauce. Oh, and a dragon's gold. I'm Sir David Attenborough. Observe the gazelle as it gallops through the different nooks and crannies. Uh, to celebrate, this is, I, it is amazing. I'm at this point of this press release and I'm not even to the part that I was

really excited about. To sell, to celebrate its new signature KFC sauce, KFC's head chef, Chris Scott, created three KFC charcuterie recipe. Yes, you can try it out. Yes, I was waiting for it. So far I was like, this is informative and interesting, but not that wild. Where's the actionable part? Where's the part that I can do at home?

Well, good news from chef Chris Scott. Uh, who under the rest develop these recipes? Yeah. Okay. He has, as terms of his resignation created as his final act upon the KFC submitting his charcuterie recipes was handed a vial of the anti-toxin for his family. He printed it on the back of his resignation letter. They're KFC are cute.

It doesn't trip off the top, but you get the idea, right? KFC. Hard cuterie, okay. Border recipes. You can try it at home. Charcuterie doesn't have to be all cold cuts, cheeses and crackers. Sure. It can also be delicious comfort foods like extra crispy tenders,

Cigarette, fries and indulgent sauce. That's just a meal. That's, that's one of Colonel Sanders is a standard meals. You know, charcuterie doesn't have to be meat and cheese. Sometimes you could just be a bowl of oatmeal. Sometimes you can be a child's laughter. Or just some loose grass you picked up from the ground and sprinkled on someone's car.

Charcuterie doesn't have to be all cold cuts. It could be watching half of episode two in your hotel room while you're drunk. It could be a fucking Toyota Yaris. Get out of here. They are both fun to create and to eat. And I know around my house, we are definitely in need of some creative ways to break up the monotony of meals at home.

Boy, okay, my fucking kids, charcuterie, oh, my fucking kids, oh, my partner. Oh, it's so fucking boring. Please. The process and assembly of a charcuterie board have become a creative outlet for many and has recently become a social media phenomenon on TikTok. Videos associated with the hashtag, hashtag charcuterie have been viewed more than 224.8 million times and many popular charcuterie creators have

gained notoriety for their elaborate and mouthwatering creation. You know what? I'm going on TikTok right now. If you see Trav, Trav, Trav, if you see anyone doing a funny Fortnite dance on there, you make sure to let me know. I'm not seeing any KFC yet. Okay. Let me just scroll down Fortnite dance.

Yeah. What's which one? I'll tell you what I did see before I saw KFC was somebody making a McDonald's charcuterie board and it looks like they figured that one out all on our own without any recipes. They didn't need a French release or anything. Huh. Here's a Chick-fil-A charcuterie board.

Oh, no. What's, what's on that? Oh, Chick-fil-A food. And a little New Testament. Okay. I wish it was easier to keep track of whether or not it was permissible to eat Chick-fil-A didn't give him. Just go ahead and assume no.

Yeah. That's a safe assumption, isn't it? One easy way to remember how to find this podcast is just go to kfcrcuterie.com and you're going to find that I fucking snagged it from them. But I don't know. You know what? I'm going to make it redirect to Bojangles. I just cited that instead.

I'm going to do that or Zach Spies. No, you know what? Zach Spies. That's what I'm going to do. Let's see. The charcuteries are the KFC Little Dipper, a snackable combination of KFC extra crispy chicken tenders, secret recipe fries paired with your favorite dipping sauces. So that's just a meal, a meal from KFC and with a sprite on the side.

So, uh, there's also the Kentucky game night trio. That's Kentucky fried buffalo wings, KFC extra crispy tenders and secret recipe fries, complimented by KFC sauce and grocery items like blue cheese, fresh celery, and it's an admission that with a little bit of work and some products from your local grocery store, you could make this palatable. Um, listen, we've talked a lot of shit about KFC, but KFC, if you want to partner with me for like a Travis McElroy meal, like a branded like Travis McElroy, he's pretty cool and we're going to make a meal that is this is

like Travis McElroy eats when he comes to KFC. I will happily do that. I will do that. Please. This isn't, you have not done the legwork on young brands, Travis. I don't, I don't, I don't know how to tell you this, but you have not done the kind of research into young brands that you would need to. Oh, are you saying you have to commit to something like that?

Oh, are they, wait, just a, are they shitheads? Everybody is. Oh man. Twist. Oh, uh, so that's the, that's the scoop on the KFC charcuterie. You can make that at home. I guess what they're saying, what they're really saying with this, if, if I get this feasible, what they're really saying with this is put it on a plate.

Yeah. Put it on a plate and you'll feel better about how things are going. A wooden, a wooden plate. Maybe, uh, and, uh, this is going to mean different things to different people. Arrange it. Okay. Interesting. Speak on that.

What I would do. Travis, just explain how to do that in a way that screams class. Uh, I would take the tenders and kind of do them in like an alternating like log tower, like you would, uh, perhaps Jenga, maybe. Oh, that's going to look real good. And then just pour the sauce down the middle. So it fills it up. Okay.

That's funny, Travis. Yeah. And then put a little roof on top of it and then maybe sprinkle it. Uh, this is, I don't know how this will work with it, but like with icing sugar. So it looks like a snowy wonderland and then maybe add some little like marshmallow snowmen, um, maybe glue some M&Ms on there, uh, a little Santa Claus. What were we talking about? Yeah.

Uh, I was about to ask a question unless Griffin has a Yahoo. Yeah. I mean, oh gosh, we should address this one. It was sent in by Graham Robuck. Thanks, Graham. It's an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who I'm, I am going to call them. Denise asks. Ah, how can I make my dad like corn?

Oh Griffin, C or K. K, C or K, C or K, C or K. It's a C. Oh, okay. All right. Good. My one, my 100% dad's like corn theory still holds. With a K.

Right. Yes, thank you. We need to, we need to be able to, it is so fucked up that these two, I'm trying to teach Henry the phonetic alphabet and it's so fucked up that these two letters do the same fucking thing. It's the same thing. It's pointless. Get rid of one of them, make them fight in the winter.

I think C should get to stay because C can do a lot of other stuff. K is always. Oh, no. See what I would say, Griffin, what needs to happen is C needs to stay in its lane. Stick with that. Well, I guess that it's the S sound. We have an S for that too. We got the S sound, C.

Maybe get rid of the C. We have the K and the S. They are doing their individualized jobs. Okay. Anyway. Okay. What if we just started pronouncing the band's name? Cahorn.

Cahorn. Help this person. How did they make their dad like corn? Play on some corn while they're eating corn. Um, I want you to hear the difference. Okay. There's a lot of great ways I can tell you how to cook corn. Because if I say it wrong and say, I like to eat corn, then I'm going to jail.

Okay. There's lots of good ways to make corn. I, I, I, for me, for my money, nice and low-tech, now I'll eat that. I'll eat that. But I'll eat it on the. I like, I like me a cornbread. Corn, okay. It's sweet.

You know what I like? Cornbread, you put some broccoli in there. It's really great. I don't think we can extrapolate quite that far trap because I think you could say like, well, there's corn syrup in your, in your airheads that you're, you love to eat. No, I, I understand that Griffin, but I'm saying cornbread, uh, corn, like tortillas, uh, like these think your corn flakes, these are pretty corn direct. You know what I mean?

I don't think, it's like saying you don't like eggs where there are so many different versions of eggs. It's hard for me to believe that. Right. Um, Justin, you got anything on this one? I have a really good Mexican street corn empanada at, uh, Nomada, that bakery in Huntington. Yeah.

Uh, that would be a great place because there it's served up on a little, first vegetarian, I love that. Uh, and also it's served up. There's just like eight pieces of corn on it really. Okay. So it's kind of like you wouldn't even, it's like I do with my kids. Like you didn't even know you were eating corn. Oh, it's not inside.

It's not inside the empanada. It might be. It might be hidden from me. I can see there's visible corn. If your dad thinks you're tricking him, oh God, dads hate that. No, they hate that. Dads do not like deception of any sort. So you got one time, my daddy was eating a cake that I made him.

And he was just about to take a bite and then he peeled the layers apart and he found a piece of broccoli in there and he didn't talk to me for two weeks. I would tell you that happened to me in school where everybody was doing like science fair projects or something like that. And then one, one girl came in and gave everybody brownies and we all like the brownies and she was like, did you like them? They were all made out of green peppers. And I wanted to be like, Hey, one of us could have been wicked allergic to

green peppers, pre-risky gamble. You just did there, Katie. Damn. Also gross. Get my fucking permission. Green pepper is my least favorite vegetable. And I do not like you don't mean that. I do not like psychically the idea that I liked it.

You know what I mean? Like I'm not willing to change my mind about that. Katie. Okay. What is your least favorite vegetable, everybody? My least favorite? What's your least favorite vegetable? I think a lime of bean.

It's hard to choose because by and large, not good. That's not true. I love those green things, man. They make me feel powerful and strong. I think, I think peas are like corn's evil nephew and they taste so gross and they have the texture of the texture of the, the casing never quite goes away. It sucks, man. You don't want to hear about my life.

I want to know Justin's least favorite vegetable. French cut green beans. I think they're fucking vulgar. I want to talk, when we're talking about vegetables, I found a new one that I liked this week. Oh boy. This is a story for my life. People are always asking us to share our stories from our lives.

Yeah. We stay on topic too much. It's true. It's just a story that happened to me this week. Blue Apron. You know, I love Blue Apron. Yeah. They, they, there was a recipe this week or last week.

I can't remember now, but because time is meaningless and it had, sometimes Blue Apron does this to me where they'll get me hooked on a new ingredient. And I'm like, whoa, I'm wild about this stuff. I can't get that in my house. No, they don't have it here. And this time it was delicata squash. Oh yeah. Was this the butter chicken and squash?

Oh, yes, it was. Yeah. It's delicata squash. It roasted up so good. Oh my golly. I love, I was wild about this stuff. So then I'm putting it in an order at the grocery store and I searched delicata squash and it doesn't surprise me that they don't have it.

In fact, the website crashed. One thing that they did have was an assortment of five squashes in a bag. So I bought that and then it showed up and I somehow missed the part on the, the, the, the listing for the item or maybe it wasn't there. I don't know where it said decorative, decorative squashes. So then I got a problem. My problem is one of them kind of looks like a small delicata squash kind of like I ate before and I don't want their real squashes, but I don't want to be.

So now I'm like, could I cook you guys up and eat you? But I don't want to be the guy that goes to the hospital for eating something that like fucking says decorative on the back. So fast forward. I'm now the kind of guy who has, like, we're the kind of household that has a bowl with a bunch of squash in it to celebrate the season arriving. And I was wondering how that happened. How does that happen to you that you just end up like, I got to get some decorative

squash for the season arriving. And this is how it happened to me. Maybe they'll stick around and not go bad. I don't know. They're decorative or maybe in a moment of temptation, you will eat them. Justin, I don't think you realize the bigger revelation right now is that in your house, you have vegetables and food stuffs that are good for eating. And then this special like Wilbur and Charlotte's web, like these gourds

have been given a reprieve. This is what you've got here is you have a fish in a goldfish bowl. While over here, you're making some tilapia for dinner. Yeah, this is what you have pet beta fish at the Red Lobster restaurant you work at is fucked up. Those gourds have to watch you eat vegetables. Better than the alternative though, isn't it? Well, yeah, but it kind of seems like you're saying, don't fuck up, gourds.

This could be you. Gourds, say it online. My other vegetables, be more beautiful than seasonal. You know, every vegetable is decorative, depending on what you're into. That's what I'm saying. This is what it's so challenging to me. Do you want me to not eat these gourds? You have to say not for that.

Also, it doesn't say not for eating. It doesn't say recommended decorative. Right. Exactly. I've got a farmer coming over tomorrow, gourds. And if I get the green light, you're going in a fucking casserole. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself.

We sure have love being here with you. I want to ask a quick favor of you. Well, Justin, before you do that, I want to ask you a quick favor because I want them to listen to one of my favorite podcasts. Oh my God. A podcast called The Besties. Oh, tell me about it. I listen to it.

No joke. Every week, it is my brothers, Justin and Griffin. So it was Chris Plante and Rush Frostick. Um, and they talk about video games, but they talk about video games in such a way that I, a video game enthusiast that knows nothing about like current video games events finds fascinating. They tell you about games that are coming out, things you'll be interested in that you've never heard of, plus great discussions about games that you love.

And it's not just like tearing the games apart. It really teaches you about like the gaming industry teaches you about the games that are coming out. There's so much going on now with the console wars, with the new generation of PlayStation five and the next Xbox and hearing you guys talk about it has made it make a lot of sense for me. Uh, I listen to it every week. And you know what, even Bibi likes it because she thinks you guys are very funny.

That's so nice. You can find it on Spotify. Uh, so go there, listen to it, subscribe. It's out every Friday. I do not miss an episode. Highly recommend that. Thanks. Thank you, Travis.

I don't have anything anymore. Oh, what were you going to say? You stole my thing. Oh, you were going to talk about your own podcast. Go shows. Uh, the, uh, the Avengers and Crystal Kingdom is now available for pre-order. That is a graphic novel based on the arc of the podcast. Yeah.

We did none. Did it again. The adventures on comic.com. That's coming July 13th, 2020. One, I have 2021, the future, and I believe I have personally guaranteed in other venues and I will do so here that you will be able to enjoy that graphic novel in a crowd of people and all will be safe. That was a big cold shot.

Oh, just shot from me. Oh, he's pointing at the stands where there's lots of people sitting close together. Uh, we got some new merch out. If you haven't gone to macroemerge.com and checked it out, you should. We got a new pin of the month, uh, that is based on the phrase tiger on the table designed by Sam Schultz. Uh, and the proceeds from that benefit the Marshall P.

Johnson Institute, which defensive protects the human rights of black transgender and gender nonconforming people, as well as the Sylvia Rivera law project, which works to guarantee that all people are free to determine their gender identity and expression. Uh, we also have a new candle nights ornament by Lynn Doyle, that is super cute, as well as a candle nights wrapping paper by Justin Gray and this little jump scare pin of Justin doing the jump scare from the TV show. It's so good macroemerge.com.

Uh, also speaking of books and things you can order, uh, we wrote a how to podcast book called everybody has a podcast except you and it's available for pre-order now at macroe podcast book.com. Uh, we are, uh, working this week, we like are recording the audio book, uh, and we're narrating it. And let me see it. Just reading again. It's pretty funny.

I remember a really good time reading it. And I think you will too. It comes out in January pre-order it now. And in January, you can learn to make a podcast that you're proud of and enjoy reading a book. It's two things and one. Did you mention that we now have a thanks for vibing and keeping it tight? Sure.

Do we? Is that up? Yeah. That's new. Check that out too. Macroe merch and then pre-order the book and macroe podcast book. That is a funny situation because we didn't say that it was on a jumbo tron, so we had to reach out to the person that said that funny thing in a

jumbo tron to ask them if it was okay to make a t-shirt. And we told them we would give them money for the t-shirts and get this. They actually requested instead that a portion be donated to the young center for immigrant children's rights. So what's up best fans of the world set up for, I will continue to say it. Um, that, that's it, right? Yeah. I have a final, I have a final.

John Roderick. Thank you, John. Thank you to maximum fun. Okay. So, uh, this one's, uh, uh, this one's sitting by Steven. It's, ah, man, it's asked by, ah, man. Who's it asked by Griffin? Be Yacht Chick.

Oh boy. This is it guys. Yahoo will tell you how old the answers are or how old the question is, right? Griffin, is it possible that it's be Yacht Chick, like a yacht? That's probably it. Okay. Um, this one is from, and it says this one decade ago. Whoa.

Isn't that wild that they would say that and not 10 years ago? If this website stays up for 100 years, will this say one century ago? This question from millennia's past from the Mesozoic era. This one comes and it says, what are some exercises that don't give you yucky musculars? That's Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother.

My brother may kiss your dad square on the lips. Maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported. Do you like mysteries? Are you a fan of teenagers? Do you enjoy the struggles of lonely middle-aged men? If so, may we recommend a TV show for you? Dicktown. The show is called Dicktown and I'm John Hodgeman and I'm David

Reese of Dicktown. Our show called Dicktown is available now on Hulu. John plays John Hunchman, a former prodigy child detective who used to solve mysteries for his classmates in North Carolina. Now he's all grown up, living on a shabby houseboat and still solving mysteries for teenagers on Dicktown. And David plays David Purefoy, my former bully and nemesis. And now my driver, muscle and only friend.

There are mysteries popping off all over the place, the mystery of the controversial cosplay, the mystery of the maybe boyfriend, the mystery of the mumbling rapper. And there are celebrity guest stars popping off all over the place. Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Schall, Paul F. Tompkins, Anna Akana, H. John Benjamin, so many stars. So please go to bit.ly slash Dicktown.

That's B-I-T dot L-Y slash D-I-C-K-T-O-W-M. That'll take you right to Hulu where you can watch all 10 episodes right now. John Hodgeman is in full Wikipedia mode right now. Just go to the link and watch Dicktown and thank us later. Yeah. We made a TV show and called it Dicktown. It's the only good thing that happened this year.