My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 532: The Spooky Box

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

Due to some goofed-up settings on account of us recording an audiobook this week, Justin’s coming at you with some rich, booming ASMR-quality sound. Which, really, should only be a problem if he performs an extended, 15-minute-long Dracula impression. We should be in the clear.Suggested talking points: A New Intro, Escape Club, Solo Laugh Track, Justin Performs an Extended 15-minute-long Dracula ImpressionWays to support Black Lives Matter and find anti-racism resources: https://linktr.ee/blacklivesmatterHey, go vote: https://vote.gov/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Okay, this is the introduction to the program. We've been doing our introduction the set like the very beginning, the same way for 500 and however many episodes. I'll be in it now. Yeah, this is the show. I want to start. We're going to start the show, but we're going to do it different, and we have to organically find that. It can't be a bit.

It can't be a bit. It's got to be like practiced, sounding good, but it's just got to organically happen without me sort of taking control and steering as I have as the Capitan. Okay, can I try something? Can I just pitch something right off the bat? If you're going to make a strategy or a plan for how to cope with this, you can't. It's just got to be like we talk in our book. Everybody has a podcast except you in theaters January 2021. If you sneak it into the theater, you got to have a plan. It's the only book that also works as a mask, so you can just wear it when you go to the theater. People think it sounds organic when you start doing a show. It sounds natural and organic,

and I just want to see what organically happens without a strategy for how to begin the program. Well, who's that talking? That's my older brother, Justin McRoy. Hey, Travis, thanks for seeing. No, you fucked it up. All right, time for the weekly joke. It's time for Justin's joke. Now, we would definitely introduce ourselves in this new introduction. Well, this is before Travis and I introduce ourselves. You historically have done Justin's It used to be called Justin's naughty joke of the week, and it was a joke. It was no reality. It was a sexual joke, like dirty as fuck, like some real dock work.

It's no reality in which this podcast, this new podcast intro that we're forging would start with before our names, a naughty joke of the week. Well, not anymore. No, it was a regular joke. Me and Travis are going to say our names, but first we'd be like, hey, oh, and this is our oldest brother, Justin, and Justin, you swing in there and you're like, here's a joke. Here's one I heard this week. Dirty. This isn't a joke. It's just dirty here. No, no, it's not Justin's dirty joke. It's not that anymore, just a regular joke.

Hey, this isn't a joke. Sorry, just to clarify, it could still be dirty. It just doesn't have to be dirty. It doesn't have to be. I want to give you room to work. I just wanted to start with a fun fact. Okay. Did you hear about the sarcophagus over in Egypt that they found that had been over 2,000 years? You hear about this?

No. Yeah, there's this sarcophagus that they opened in. It had been closed for 2,500 years, and here's the wild part. The body inside was covered in chocolate and nuts. They think it might have been Ferrero Rocher. Huh. So that's, I did like them better when you were like, what's the difference between them? Could you say like, and he had a boner? Sorry, because you mentioned nuts, and that was really close, but if you say he was covered in chocolate and nuts,

and he had like a boner. Oh, sorry, let me set you up for that juice, and we'll cut all the stuff between this out. Did you say nuts? There it is. Well, and what was that sound, Justin? Was it the mommy's boner? Was it the mommy's boner? Was it your boner? He couldn't, oh, okay, wait, hold on.

Let's do it again. Let's do the, let's just keep it smooth. Did you just say nuts? Why was the teenage mommy so nervous in class? He couldn't keep his boner under wraps. Okay. All right, so you're okay. Stop. Stop.

That can't be your thing too, Tramp. I know, but your thing can't also be dirty mummy jokes. But it's all I know, Justin. Or Griffin, maybe you're Justin now. This nobody knows because we haven't introduced ourselves. Well, you've introduced, we know one thing, I'm not Justin. I don't, they don't know who the fuck I am, but they know I'm not Justin because I haven't been telling dirty mummy jokes.

Are you the teenage, why didn't you guys decide putting me on blast would be the bit for the introduction? My introduction that I wanted to do was coming up with a new introduction for the show. Justin, you put yourself on blast. I teed you up. I said, this is my elder brother, Justin. And then you choked and as punishment, we tried to make you shine.

Okay. I've paid my pennants starting fresh. Okay. The person has just pressed play on their pod catcher and action. Why was the teenage mommy nervous in class? Now, wait a minute. Why are you trying to hold open, are you poaching the mummy boner sort of? Well, if we're restarting now, we've added it out when Justin was like the

we've added it out all of it. Yeah. This is just the introduction for the podcast. Justin, isn't the dirty mummy boy anymore? So I saw an opportunity to take it now that you haven't said your name. It was called open. It's called open. They don't have it.

Justin, they don't fucking open up. I'm starting it live like, hey, everybody. It's me, Skellen Jokesman. And yeah, today I'm going to be doing Reince Priebus. Reince Priebus back in the news. You hear about this? You hear about this? That's going to that's I call dibs on that.

My thing is talking about what Reince is up to. Yeah. Yeah, I hear he drives a Prius. Okay, let's let's cut all this. Let's cut all this. This obviously is just press play and action. Why was the teenage Reince Priebus nervous in class? He couldn't get his boner under wraps.

Okay. Okay. You know what? I'm going to grant you that. Reince Priebus was a mummy. Okay, Trav, do your, do your joke again. I'm going to lean into it a little bit better. Okay.

And I'm sorry for shutting you down. The person presses play on their podcatcher and this is what they hear. Why was the teenage Reince Priebus who was also a mummy nervous in class? Because he couldn't keep his boner under wraps? Fuck. Welcome everybody to my brother, my brother and me.

Wait. Okay. You're right. Okay. Trav, that didn't work. Griffin, I'd love for you to try one. Yeah, sure. And the person presses play and action.

Did you guys hear from Reince Priebus? No, I didn't. I don't think we got it. I think I did it too fast. Did you guys hear this latest? Oh wait, I kind of like that. Start the music and doesn't cut the music and Griffin will come in strong like a hee-haw moment.

So the very first thing they'll hear is this intro music that comes loaded on the Roadcaster Pro. But no matter fucking what, we aren't doing another tip. This is the intro right here no matter what. Swear it. Justin, swear it on your life. I swear, but let me just get the flow. Block me through it because I think we're so close to something new.

You do the fucking music. I hop in there with a sick ass joke. There's got to be a hard stop. No fade out. It's like music and then don't move it. But no matter what, this is it. Yeah. All right.

Okay, so I start the music. Yeah, and then I'll do my joke. Fade it down. You bring in a joke. I fade it back up. No, no fade out. Hard stop. Fade it louder and louder and louder

until it comes to a dead stop. What? And three, two, one, play. Did you guys see here this one? Ah, fuck. That's your... Hold on. Don't stop it.

Don't stop it. Don't stop it. Stop. What? What's wrong with you? Come on. Did you guys see this one? Are you guys going to go right through this?

He's a mommy cat. He's not... Right through the stage. He's a mommy cat. He's a son around the rat. Say your name and your girlfriend back. Are you on my girlfriend? This is Griffin McRoy.

I'm Travis McRoy. Oh, Justin McRoy. I think in post, that's going to sound really good. Yeah. Well, just got to tighten it up and sweeten it a little bit. Yeah, so there's a little dead air, but I think we could get out some of the tinny-ness. I did not notice the dead air, Travis.

I'm so glad your ear is in the show because I did not notice it. I noticed it only because Griffin had to specifically call my name to tell me to talk. That was the only reason I caught that there was some dead space. Almost always a bad sign for the flow of the show. All right, let's do some fucking questions.

Fuck yes. Yeah, I bet people thought that was going to be the whole episode. I bet it could feel that way sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. That's a scare. I think that... I think that...

Can I say something? I think that part of the reason people struggle with the introductions to this program sometimes and why it is put off, I would estimate at this point, innumerable listeners, new listeners to the program. And old listeners. Yeah, I like to think that some of them

got off the ship at some point, but I think a lot of people try. They're like, I've heard about this show, I'm going to try it. I think the part of the problem with the introductions is that a few times we have started an introduction that has become an entire episode. And I think that now when you're listening to the introduction,

there's this back of your throat fear that this could be the whole episode. Honestly, Juice, it's kind of fucked up that you are continuing to suspend those sensitive listeners through that fear. I am sorry. I'm sorry. This is show.

Show has begun. Recently, a couple of friends invited me to do an escape room with them. It was kind of fun. So when they asked me again the next week, I agreed to do another one. Now they're calling the three of us an escape room team and want to do them his office twice a week,

traveling across the country to different ones. I got a name for your team, The Super Spreaders. As much as I've mildly enjoyed doing these puzzles and unlocking things, I'm clearly not into this as the others and need a polite way of telling them I don't want to be in the team. Note, a lot of rooms require a minimum three people. So me not being there means they can't do a lot of rooms.

Bothers. Brother, sorry. That's right. What's supposed to be brothers? Oh, Bother. How do I escape from this escape room team? Sick of solving puzzles in Scotland. I guess you said that about The Super Spreaders,

but I will say Scotland is, I believe in a somewhat better place. Everywhere is. Why would an escape room have a minimum of people that could participate? They charge per head. But I mean, at that point, just charge a minimum. If you want to come, Travis, and do an escape room by yourself. Who's that asshole?

I guess you did say your own name. It would be me. I did want to say, before I knew that you volunteer for this, who's that asshole that's like, no one else come in. I'm going to do this one by myself. Well, if they're going to do a bad job. Listen, this is the thing. I have done, I have done many, many escape rooms.

And I would say specifically at Ole Refie, and I have done a lot of escape rooms together. If we are at a convention at the same time, we will do escape rooms. Now, have we done escape rooms where there have been, let's say, some dead weight on the team? Yeah, totally, totally, totally. But the two of us can carry it.

You know what I mean? I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wanted to brag about how good Adolfi and I are at escape rooms. Good. People love that. I think that you're very lucky to be, if I could be, if I had the kind of life where I could even

entertain the fucking idea of being part of a, quote, escape room team, end quote, I would celebrate. I would celebrate, I would say a thank you prayer every morning and every night before bedtime for the cool life that I had, where I could go and solve the puzzles of Puzzle Masters across this great country of ours, or in the world, the fucking globe of ours.

I know this isn't helpful, but change your whole fucking outlook because you should like this more. I mean, it's something, isn't it? If you go into escape room, you know what the nicest thing about escape rooms are? If you go into an escape room, by definition, you haven't been there before. You know what I mean?

Like at least it's new room. That's the, I never want to leave. This is new room. I'm so excited to be here. Let me, let me reframe your thinking, question asker of why escape rooms are the greatest fucking things in the world, all around us in what I'm going to call real world,

non-escape rooms, there are problems that are completely unquantifiable. In escape room, what's this? Red book goes on the green bookshelf and something open. That is a quantifiable, solvable problem that when you've solved it, you can feel a little bit better about life.

Feel anything, feel anything in the escape room. Oh, that's a good tagline. For Griffin's escape rooms, come in, feel something. Feel it. Switch that light switch on and off three times. And I'll come on over the loudspeaker. I'll be like, you fucking did it. Feel it.

Embrace this novelty. Did you hear that box click open? That's joy in your heart, my friend. It would be me in the escape room with a group of super solvers like my fam. We did an escape room. I can't remember.

We were on tour last year. We did an escape room. Back when tour was a thing we could do. An escape room and leave house was things we could do. And we solved it real fast. We got out of there like 38 minutes. There was a lot of time left. Which one was this?

This was when we were on tour in Milwaukee at the City 13. City 13. Yes. And it was that kind of like a post-punk, like a diner. Like cyberpunk bar, diner shit. Yeah, it was dope. We got out of there real fast.

But these days I probably would have had a hand on the doorknob at 38 minutes. Like do you guys just want to fucking kick it for that? We'll do 21 minutes and 50 seconds left in here. And then leave when we absolutely have to. But maybe we could just like explore the space. It's new. It's new.

It's new. Maybe we can leave more problems than we solve. Oh, that's cool. Create some new ones. Do you think it's a hard, you know how a very dangerous situation is when there's a fire at an escape room place? Not because the doors are locked or anything, because as we all know, the doors are not locked.

It's the biggest lie they were told. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah, you just open it. If the fire alarm starts going off and you're doing an escape room, you're going to be like, huh, okay. How did I, hey, hey, Valerie, do that again. Step on that again, because maybe it'll turn it off.

I don't know what it means. Count the flashes. That is the thing. By the way, I wonder how there's got to be a study somewhere on how doing fire drills has ruined anybody's reaction to actual like fire alarms, because now as an adult, if I'm in a place and I hear a fire alarm, the first words out of my mouth are, it's probably not real.

Oh, what an asshole. What asshole did this? I think if I ran an escape room and I was staffing up, I would hire somebody and the first day would be business as usual. I'd be like, you lock up tonight. And then when they tried to leave that night, they would find that the front door was locked from the outside. Okay.

The test, the true test begins now. I am almost certain I am describing the plot of the escape room horror movie. I think that's true. If I was, if I was hiring for an escape room, I would hire a plant that anytime a group started, you know, they go in there with 10, suddenly there's 11 people, but there's a lot going on.

So maybe they don't notice the extra person. And the extra person's job is to just go like, I don't think we're going to solve this one guys. And just like really talk up how hard the puzzles are. And like, oh, wait, hold on. No, no, this isn't doing it. Fuck, I thought we had it. No, I don't think we're solving this one guys.

At some point they could pretend to die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they would use their core field to, Oh, it's not to turn sunlight in the energy. It's not a real plant, Justin. Goes to visit his mommy. Oh, I can't say another thing.

Can I help you one thing? Has concerns he forked in film? Can I say you can't? It would be fucking wild to interrupt Travis now. And remember being small. It feels wrong to do, but I did want to say something. Just that the team will know if you don't want to do it because your puzzle performance will be.

Yeah. Well, sorry. Gling under the table and fishing. Welcome to under the table and fishing. Was he eating a sandwich? Was Dave eating a full turkey wrap? Always. Oh, I was eating a sandwich.

It was an egg salad. This is just a really good opportunity for you to bust out like a, I don't eat too much. I eat too much. Wow. Think too much. I want too much.

Too much. How did Dave Bathu's picnic get ruined? Wow. How? Oh, it and smart. And they had boners. All over it. Their dicks were out.

Okay. Oh, it dicks. So. Yeah, dude. I in under the table and fishing. I'm going to read you some lyrics. They might be Dave Matthews. They might be fish.

And this week, special twist, there's one by third eye blind. Okay. I know I'm going to fucking, I'm going to bloodhound that one out. So let's start. Don't let it get away. And if we did, we're going to get it back.

And in time, you and me, we will, we will, we will, we will be over and again and again. That's Dave. Dave feels fish. That feels fish. That is Dave Matthews again and again. All right. Let's.

I've been prepping for this segment by listening to every Dave Matthews song and every fish song. And does anybody have that? Oh, that's wild. That's sad. Anvil. Travis, can I do my joke, please?

Oh, sure, sure, sure. I've been prepping for this segment by listening to every Dave Matthews band song and every fish song. And I, I have, now I have the munchies. Wow, man. Good. Yeah.

Dude. Yeah. I guess I just don't follow Justin. Pass the incense. Okay. Okay. Here's another one. Bang, bang.

You're dead now. Could be real. I got a bag of smoke. Come on. Let's make a deal. Fish, fish, fish. Yeah. Bridges burn, but tomorrow is another day

to feed the world and go outside and play. No, Dave. I'm flipping on it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick with fish. That is Dave. I thought just say he twisted it on me. He thought I want to write the first stanza

as though I were fish. And the second stanza as though I were Dave. We built a kingdom out of lies. And then we blindly fanned the fires. We warmed our hands with glowing coals. But now they rained down from the skies. Third eye. Third eye, they're in line.

Yeah, third eye blind. That is fish. Damn. The song is leaves. I am 0 for three right now. You should be good at this game. Because of you, girl. Beautiful, beautiful girl.

Take it easy on yourself and make it easy on me. Because I just want to make you, I just want to make you. Come on, come on, come on, come. That's, that's. It's not fish. It's not fish. I'm going to suppose that it is one of Dave Matthews' many songs about fingering.

It's so Dave. That is one of Dave's hornier tracks. It's called Come On, Come On. Okay. So that's four for Justin. One for Griffin. In case you're wondering, yes, crash is one of the fingering jams. Yes, of course.

Because it's right in the minute. Oh, what a horror. Press me down, then I pressurize, then I rise up. Like diamonds, rise up all you diamonds. So rise up, rise up all you diamonds. Pressurize all you diamonds. Doesn't feel like fish or Dave Matthews band. So I am going to hit third eye blind on this one.

Third eye blind. It is third eye blind. Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is the tower like a solitary flower standing in the snow all the wolves, all, as the wolves all wait below. And you're walking on the ledge, throwing bread crusts off the edge. That feels fishy to me.

I was thrown at first because the use of tower and then flower made me feel like this is probably a phallic sexual Dave Matthews song about sex. But I am going to switch to fish. It is fish. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I do want to point out to Dave Matthews songs aren't phallic.

No. He only writes about fingering. Yeah. Well, a finger could be a tower as well. I guess. Sure. Okay. It's not what anybody's thinking of.

Let's be honest. I love your hair in the mornings, you know, you love to run wild and let the main flow. But you run away. But we meet again soon south of the border and over the moon. Dave Matthews band. Fish. That's fish shade. Wow.

It was and I could tell because it was kind of horny, but not. It doesn't. Dave's going to finish. You know what I mean? Okay. This is my question. Okay. Are all song lyrics the same or did the two of them just have some a lot of crossover tonally?

I think the reason I do this whole segment is because they have a lot of crossover tonally, Justin. All right. I got I got. I'm going to do this. Yeah. Who now is standing by Mary Palmer the prospector. Thank you prospector.

It is from Yahoo Answers user Christopher who asks, and this one might be kind of quick. Should the laugh track on sitcoms be just one person instead of a crowd of laughter? Now, do you guys think they mean one person across all sitcoms or one person per sitcom? You mean the same person? Yes. Is it like Dave's track and Dave does the laugh for everyone or is it like, well, Dave goes with friends and like Stephen goes with Big Bang Theory. I am interested in the idea of the Laffer being someone we like become familiar with as a nation.

Like this is yeah, this is Terrence and but they can't. The problem is there's never an episode of Big Bang Theory where the audience isn't super into it. Do you know their love again? That should be a thing. It's like there's an episode of Big Bang Theory where just Sheldon does his thing, like he pisses his pants and then he's like Bazinga and the audience is just like, yeah. Well, but think about that, right? Like usually Terrence is loving it, right?

Yeah. But then there's an episode where the thing Sheldon did, you thought it was pretty funny, but Terrence didn't see him as a fiasco. Yeah, so what's that mean? What's that mean? It's like, is Terrence okay? What's going on? That is the problem, right?

Is you would start to have more insight and probably concern about the real man Terrence than you would about the Bazingais and the Bazingals over at Big Bang Theory. And I think eventually you end up like campaigning to get the camera back at the back of the audience so I could see Terrence in his chair while I'm watching them do, you know, their science and like jokes about the Green Lantern and stuff. We're talking about multi-camera sitcoms, that's going to be a tough nut to putt. Well, you have to aim them all through Terrence. Can we just take a second to appreciate tough nut to putt as the new powerful slogan for something?

I think maybe instead we just get at the top of every episode of every sitcom, we get about two minutes interview with Terrence just to see how he's doing. And most of the time, I imagine this is sort of a poet laureate position, it's sort of venerated where we can trust his sort of opinions about about comedy and jokes and laughing at stuff. So when he sits up there, he's like, hey guys, it's me, Terrence all strapped in ready for another fucking great episode of big, they wouldn't say fucking, but ready for it, ready to laugh at another great episode of Big Bang Theory. Maybe with Terrence, there's no censorship. We want unbridled, unfiltered Terrence.

Okay, but then you know, like, okay, so if Terrence laughs during this one, it's okay for me and all my pals at this Big Bang party that I'm throwing. Which is gonna, which is a Big Bang Theory watch party and then we're all gonna have, we're all gonna fuck later. It's okay for us to laugh. But then if you see an interview with him before an episode of Frasier two, and he's like, ah, hey guys, yeah, my cat's sick. Anyway, let's get on with the show. Then you know, like, it's okay that I'm laughing when Terrence doesn't. Do you think that the risk would become that TV shows would start to be developed specifically

with Terrence in mind where to be like, what's Terrence like? What's here? We gotta get in front of Terrence people. Tell me the name of Terrence's third grade teacher. Give me all the information you can on Terrence. Do you, do you guys think there is a static number of days after the series finale of Big Bang Theory at which point we will stop referencing Big Bang Theory as an ongoing concern? Well, because currently by my math, it has been roughly maybe 450 days by the calendar since the final episode on May 16th, 2019. Can I tell you the problem here, Jamion? Problem is, I think I know the problem. I can't think of another TV show. Right. Yeah. Are there other ones that are going on right now? Not on that scale. I mean, listen, we can talk about supernatural,

but that's not a multi-camera comedy. Again, please don't talk about supernatural. I'm just saying it's been a year and a half since. First off, do you guys feel like, okay, do you feel like the nation mourned Big Bang Theory enough? Because everyone has been very excited about Big Bang Theory's existence, but did the nation mourn the Big Bang Theory passion? Because I feel like I didn't see the sort of funeral for a friend proceedings that one would expect from saying goodbye to characters here. I think we're in the stage where a loved one passes and you spend a lot of time watching old home movies. Except in this case, it's like 800 episodes of reruns. So it takes a while to get through those home movies before you're like, you know what,

I don't really miss that loved one anymore. That's it. It's going to come to us 2035 when someone's going to accidentally say Bazinga, and it'll be like, oh, and then the cavity will feel it. And just to answer your question with another perspective, it has been, to my actual math, nearly 6,000 days since Frazier went off the air. Fair. But I think when we talk about Frazier, it is tinged with a, a, that where the age is folded into the rhythm. Right. And I feel like Big Bang Theory is our reach for current. This is a fair point, Justin, because I did go, I, when I first started this, I said something about friends and I thought, but friends is canceled. I need to talk about an

ongoing show. I know Big Bang Theory. But I really blame, I don't blame me or you. I blame the nation for not mourning the gang. I feel like the gang passed. Here's an interesting fact, please. 12 and a half million people watched Big Bang Theory on May 9th, which was the week before the show ended. Okay. The finale episode, 18 and a half million people tuned in for that final ep. So that means that here in this great nation of ours, there are six million discreet humans, give or take, who are like, listen, I don't watch Big Bang Theory, but I'm going to be there when they put it in the fucking ground. I want to make sure you stay dead. Stay dead, Sheldon. Stay dead, glasses. Stay dead, other girl.

I just don't get it with numbers like that. Why they canceled it? Why did they even cancel it? Why did they cancel Big Bang Theory? Why? Because they wanted to rope in those six million people who were like, I don't watch the show, but I will be there when it dies. I want to be there where the plug is pulled on Green Lantern and the flash shirt guy and everybody. Why did they cancel shows like Big Bang Theory and Friends? I don't get it. No, Travis, you know, I'm a bit more savvy about what happens behind that beautiful lens that makes the Friends and the Frasier. And so this is how they do it. Okay. Hey, everybody, come with us to CBS as we mourn the passing of Big Bang Theory,

a show you don't watch, but you should. People are going to ask you, where were you when Big Bang Theory went off the air? So please come and watch it. And then you, 11 million people were like, yes, yes, it sounds like a Friday night to me. And they showed up and they watched it. And then at the end, everybody else dies, but Sheldon crawls inside of his reverse chrysalis and becomes young Sheldon. And that's 11 million built in viewers of young Sheldon. Big Bang Theory never went off the air because it's carried on in the memories of the past of the character of Sheldon. The chrysalis is reforming around Sheldon. He will reemerge with a new Big Bang Theory once

he has matured. You know, I was going to point out that after Cheers, they spun off a series called Frasier. And that was also popular. And I thought, why doesn't every popular sitcom do that? And then I remember that Joey was a concern for a while. Love, Joey. And that kind of answered my question. Love, Joey. Sandwiches. Italian. Sandwiches? Sandwiches. He had a lot of premarital sex. Premarital sex. And he was always interested in people's well-being. He was always like,

hey, how are you? How are you doing? Uninvited sexual energy, but we loved it, I guess. We really liked all the gay panic. That was fun. Gay panic, Joey. Oh, don't touch me. You're a guy. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, what do we hug? That'd be so gay. You know, that kind of, you get it. How aren't you doing? Because you're a guy. Joey. You get it. Ladies and gentlemen, as Joey's dad, Christopher Walken, apparently. Griffin, what would it be like if Joey and Joey's dad hugged?

Just this one time, Joey, my boy. As it turns out, if I try to do Joey from friends, I can sort of like sidestep my way into Christopher Walken, which is an exciting revelation for me. Let's take a break. If I'm going to afford the box set of Joey on DVD, I need to earn some money. It's half of one disc. There's a label on the front of the case saying this is sharp. If you are the type of person who just bought Joey on half a DVD, you shouldn't touch it, because it's real sharp. Please affix this to a half of a corn tortilla. The other half of the disc is just all the episodes of the cape,

and you can kind of glue it together. And then as you spin, the cape makes some special appearances on Joey. It combines them seriously. So it looks like Joey's wearing a kit. You plucked this half of the Joey DVD disc into Sonic and Knuckles expansion pack for Sega Genesis. Hey, can I tell you all about me, Undies? Yeah? I'm hearing a lot of background activity. It makes me wonder if somebody's, it's not like somebody was wrapping a present, if I'm being honest. And I guess the question is, is it for me? Yeah, because it's underwear. Thank you. Yeah, well, happy day. Thank you. I will always accept underwear if it's me undies, because if it's not, it's trash. And that's my new motto

that they can use whenever they want. They are the most comfortable underwear. So Griffin, you're saying if a stranger walked up to you and said, here, take this pair of me undies, no questions asked, you would do it? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, they're pretty comfortable. Travis, I think it's kind of fucked up that in the middle of our commercial for me undies, he would suggest otherwise. But anyway, I have so many me undies right now. And what I really like about them is because it is the spookiest season of the year, I love to look scary down there. And so I have some that have fun. They're fun at the end of the day, but they are still pretty spooky Halloween prints. Yeah. If you're into cats or blood or skeletons in a spooky context,

or hell, you wear skeleton underwear whenever, no one's going to call the cops on you. These are just, they're so fucking soft. And you never have to run out of me undies. If you get the me undies membership, it's a subscription that sends new pairs of me undies right to your door. Plus, you can get sitewide savings and exclusive sales. So if you want to get 15% off your first order and free shipping, go to me undies.com slash my brother. That's me undies.com slash my brother. Can I tell you about Stitch Fix? Yep. I got the greatest shirt, like my new favorite shirt from Stitch Fix. And it, we talk about with Stitch Fix, if you've heard us talk about before that like they get to know your style and, you know, your budget and the colors you like, all of those

things. And this felt like getting a gift from like my best friend, where it was this really beautiful dress shirt that had kind of a little bit of like almost like a firework like popcorn design in, but as part of the fireworks and popcorn was like little tiny skulls. And there it was so fucking cool. That is cool. Yes, I love it. And like, I literally, I saw it and I like ran into the room or Teresa was to say like, look at this, because Stitch Fix is a personal styling company that makes getting the clothes you love effortless. And they really do get to know you, you can go through and say like, I like this shirt, this is the kind of thing I want to dress for, you know, this is what I like to do, that kind of thing. And it feels really personalized

to you. And you pay a $20 styling fee for each fix. And it's credited towards anything you keep. So you don't have to keep everything in the box. If it comes, you try it on, you're like, this didn't fit, you send it back. And you can schedule at any time there's no subscription required. Plus shipping returns and exchanges are easy and free. So get started today at stitchfix.com slash my brother. And you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. That is stitchfix.com slash my brother for 25% off when you keep everything in your fix stitchfix.com slash my brother. Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety? Do you quake uncontrollably, even thinking about watching cable news? Do you have disturbing nightmares only to realize it's

two in the afternoon and you're up? If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have FNO news overload. Fortunately, there's treatment. Hi, I'm Dave Holmes, host of troubled waters. Troubled waters helps fight FNO. That's because troubled waters stimulates your joy zone. On troubled waters, two comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy. So join me, Dave Holmes for two, two, two doses of troubled waters a month. The cure for your FNO news overload available on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN D Not just any vampire, the Donut Dracula.

The Donut Dracula? Count Donut. Did you just change your name? It's a long name, so I'm kidding it all. So is it Count Donut Dracula? I think he said Donut Dracula Count Donut. Oh, so his real name is Donut Dracula, but he's title is Count Donut. My only name is Kevin, but knowing that would give you a man's power over me.

Kevin, just sit still for just a second. Trab, just to explain what just happened. Justin in his mind was trying to run the calculus on whether or not the word donut sounded enough like count, that he could say it in lieu of count. And so he said it out loud and heard it, and then he said, nobody's going to understand what that meant. So he switched it over to Count Donut. Donut, I think maybe.

Donut also nothing. I think he did the best with what he had to work with. I hear the guest host for this most delicious episode of Montsquad's podcast. We've seen a podcast profiling the latest and greatest in Brian the eating. Hey, Count Donut, just real quick. You're better at this than Justin is. Yeah. Thank you.

I'm glad I killed him. What? You also sound a little bit like Groove from the Minions movies. Oh, I love those. I have not seen them already. I missed the first few, and I didn't know where to jump on. Yeah, you can get pretty lost if you just come in on this vehicle with me three. There's three now.

I think so. Well, they also made a side standalone Minions film. I was so excited about the new Minions movie, but then it's got delayed to 21. Oh, yes. It's coronavirus. Have you heard about this? I have trouble with this. Everyone's in their homes.

It's a challenging time. And with the mask on, it's probably hard to sink your T-furs into their neck. You're wearing a mask, right? Count. Of course I am. I'm immune to all earthly pathogens, but I want to set a good example. Yeah, that's good of you. Have you voted?

Have you voted? Yes. I voted long ago for the devil. No, it's a presidential election. It's a presidential. He's not on it. There's a lot of Senate. I'm a citizen of nowhere.

Oh, so you're just living here like rent free, not paying taxes? What the fuck? I am talking to you from my home in Donutvania. Oh, okay. Yeah, Charlie, we need to let him speak, because I am curious of what he's doing here. Oh, right. I forgot that this was a segment. Yeah.

Excellent. Thank you. I want to tell you about some new Halloween offerings. This is a spooky time of year. Of course, some Halloween offerings from local donut chains there in your United States of America. Okay. All right.

Let him wrap this. May I adopt the typical cadence of a classic American as I read these? Or else this episode is going to be 87 minutes long. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not consent to that. We can't have fucking eight minutes of Dracula preamble, and then when it comes time for the fucking pearl inside the oyster, it switches back to Justin.

Absolutely not. You made this. Here's what we'll do. It wouldn't be Justin. He's dead. Yeah. Hypnotize Griffin, so he's still here as Dracula, and then you can speak in an American cadence. No, no, he has spoken.

No way. He has used his will. I'm going to go get some more. Perhaps for the last time. Are you going to kill Griffin? Nuggets are on notice. Sunvaches be warned and move over. Tuckles.

A donut is now heating up the battle for spicy superiority, proving that the number one brand in donuts can rock a spicy side. Duncan has bet. Rock a spicy side? I will have silence or I will have your head. Duncan has made up one of the most surprising treats ever to rise from its kitchens. The new spicy ghost pepper donut. Fuck off.

A deliciously daring donut that delivers the heat with every bite. This spicy ghost pepper donut is a classic yeast donut. Top with a strawberry flavor dicing that you could easily mistake for mwinka mwinka. Blub. Yeah. A bold blend of cayenne and ghost pepper ghost pepper. Yeah, we got it. Finished with red sanding sugar for a sizzling look.

The spicy ghost pepper donut will be on the menu for only a few hot minutes. Available beginning today for a limited time at participating Duncan restaurants nationwide until December. I know this solid baked treats are not really your jam count donut. Do you think you'd want to tear one of those bad boys down? I do not believe so. Does that sound gross? No. I have my guts inside.

Got IBS. Yes, internal blood syndrome. I only can consume and digest blood. So you're not immune to all diseases then? It's not a disease to eat something that disagrees with you. Well, tell that to Griffin. If you put mayonnaise into your car's fuel intake and it exploded, you wouldn't go to the doctor and say my car is terribly sick. Why would I go to the doctor?

And I might. Don't you assume that about me? I might do that. Well, okay. Sorry. If I ate tin foil and started to cough blood, you wouldn't say get away from me. I don't want to catch it. I'm not sick.

I would say that there was something wrong with you. Halloween looks a little different this year and so do our donuts. While our classic bakery offering has plenty of crave worthy treats. We're excited to show our spicy side with a donut that packs a touch of heat with something sweet and can be enjoyed any time of day. The fucking cowardice in that quote where they had to say, don't worry. We still have our normal, not disgusting donuts. Not spicy. I don't think it's available still.

With our scary good lineup of the spicy ghost pepper donut, Halloween DIY Dunkin Donut decorating kids and the fan favorite spider donut. Duncan is here to help our guests keep their Halloween spirit alive. Yes. If you're wondering if the opening line Halloween looks a little different this year is a reference to COVID-19. It is press release about new donut kinds. Yes. That is correct. It is wholly inescapable.

Now hop on my back as I whisk you away to Duck Donuts. Whee. Whee. Where the fuck are we going? What's Duck Donuts? There's 97 of them. It's from the people who brought you Duck Dynasty. All right.

I don't know if that is accurate, but I do know this is accurate. They've got the Spooky Box. Excuse me? The popular Spooky Box is all about the treats with 12 wonderful, colorful, unique flavor and topping combinations that are as photogenic as they are scrumptious. In a box. In the Spooky Box. It's also the only chance this year to try the three limited time flavors pumpkin icing, apple and streusel topping. Not the spookiest.

I mean at least the Spooky Box is different. The Spooky Box is different. The Spooky Box features werewolf, which is maple bacon with raspberry drizzle. Dubbed in worms. Chocolate icing with Oreo cookie pieces and gummy worms. Blueberry. TM, TM, TM. TM, TM.

Blueberry icing with powdered sugar and spiderweb, which is cinnamon sugar with a vanilla drizzle. Rusty Julio, founder and CEO of Duck Donuts. I thought that was another flavor. And also we have back my popular demand, Rusty Julio. We have found and crowned up another Rusty Julio. If you or someone you know is a Rusty Julio, please do the right moral thing and submit your body to us so that all may enjoy it. The sixth flavor. Maybe just a few nails.

Your hair clippings rust, please, we crave you. The most craveable Rusty Julio of the year is back. No, here he says, our Spooky Box is a joyful and giftable collection of delicious fun. That's right, giftable. If you give it away, you will not be arrested. It's served warm and ready for sharing. We all need something to look forward to right now. So yes, that's right.

Our second reference to the COVID-19 crisis in an announcement about Halloween Donuts. Thank you so much for reminding me about the ongoing pandemic. So appreciated. And thank God it's all fixed now because of your delicious Spooky Box. The Spooky Box really balances the whole thing out, doesn't it? Yeah. We all need something to look forward to right now. And the fun of Halloween can come soon enough.

Bon appetit, bows and ghouls. Wow. Fuck yeah. Do you think Rust said that out loud with his human mouth? Or do you think that's just something he said? Yes. And then at the end, you can write like bon appetit. Rust did a terrible pun and reinforced the imaginary gender binary.

Now I really trusted you. I have decided. Oh man. Man, Count Donut, I doubted your skills when you first showed up. You didn't know what your name was. But I got to say, you knocked it out of the park with these. Thank you so much. So what's next?

Well, can you reanimate Justin's dead ass? He's dead. Can you emulate Justin? I do. For sorry. Emulate him. Like you're trying to beat him? Oh, sure.

Sure, of course. Ah, Woodward King Disney World. Good turn, Count Donut. No dice. I love sleep no more. Sorry, I can't. Oh man. Justin has a family.

Say something. Try saying something about FMV games. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Sewer Shark, it's fun game. Good time. Serial? Maybe serials are in there.

Try cereal. Oh, I love to crunch with the relaxing bowl of it. That was actually pretty good. You sound like a mix between Gilbert Godfreyd and Olaf. Is that what you were going for? I have not seen. I do not know if he's Olaf. You haven't seen Frozen?

No, I've seen Frozen. I don't know if it's Godfreyd. Oh, of course. You haven't seen Aladdin? I have seen Aladdin live action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Can you say something about a big, beautiful, beautiful conclave?

Justin loves them. A big, beautiful, beautiful conclave. Oh, God. That sounded great. Yeah. Thank you. All right. See, it's better.

It is an improvement. No, yeah. Everything you're doing today is better. How about why don't you, Count Donut, take us into our housekeeping? Of course. Although I have help with that around the castle. Yes, of course. I could have Renfield do the housekeeping for you if you would like.

I would extend. Does he sound more like Justin? Oh, no. That's a pass. That's a hard pass. My brother, my brother, and me is an advice, oh, and we so appreciate you listening to the master and these two other cattle. Hey, Renfield, fuck you.

Yeah. Well, I'll get the couch back, of course. Yeah. I'm so sorry. That dude sucks. I agree. Yeah. I told him not to refer to you as cattle to your face.

I want you to kill him. I will. All right. Now there's blood on my hands. I've put him on top of Justin's body in a way that would make Joey very uncomfortable. I get it. That's very funny. Hey, Count, there's a podcast my wife and I are doing called Bacon, where we watch and

talk about the new season of Great British Bake Off. We've got three episodes out now. It's on your podcast as well as on our YouTube channel. Do you think you'd want to check that out? I would love to. I'm more of a fan of video games. And I love to listen to Justin's podcast, The Besties on Spotify. You should have thought about that before you did kill him.

It's better now. And now I get to enjoy at least 25% more Russ Frashtick. Yeah, at least. It's Griffin. It's Russ and it's Chris Plante talking about video games. It used to be Justin in there too, but of course now he is drained. Yeah. Of course.

It's on Spotify. It's very good. I love it. Count Donut, do you mind if I talk about all of the merch? Because the thought of you, there's a lot. And the thought of you taking the sort of time you would need to talk about all of it, scares me a lot. Can you, can I at least talk about the jump scare pin?

Yeah, that's appropriate. There is a pin of Justin doing offensive fang face of me. Count Donutila. I regret allowing you to do that. Jump scare pin. And you can purchase it if you want to reinforce some truly harmful stereotypes about my kind. There's so much stuff at the McRoy merch site, which is McRoyMerch.com. There is, God, I wish Justin was alive to talk about the horseshoe crab shirt.

Yes. This medical podcast with his wife, sorry, Vito Sidney. Right. Celebrating horseshoe crabs and their incredible contribution to vaccines. Yeah. Did you know about this? No, I didn't know about that. You can test for impurities in vaccines if you are using the dried blood of a horseshoe crab.

That's exciting news. I'll make sure to do that. It coagulates. So sorry. I'm getting hungry now. Listen to me. You feed on horseshoe crab blood? Just blood in general.

There's also a tiger on the table pin of the month, which was designed by Sam Schultz. And sales of that benefit the Marsha P. Johnson Institute and the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. There is candle nights ornaments designed by Lynn Doyle. There is candle nights wrapping paper designed by Justin Gray. There's a thanks for vibing and keeping it tight shirt, which I still need to get one of because they're one of my favorite pieces of merch we've ever put up on the store. And a portion of the proceeds for the shirt will go to the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights. And yeah, that's all at MacRoyMerch.com. There's a lot of stuff.

Okay. A couple of quick things. We're doing a live stream of the game Among Us on Tuesday the 20th at 9 p.m. Eastern Time. It's going to be on our MacRoy Family Channel. It's me and the brothers and probably other family members. So make sure you check that out. Like we said earlier, we wrote a podcast how-to book called Everybody Has a Podcast Except You. It's available for pre-order now.

It'll give you like step-by-step guide to make sure that you're proud of. You can pre-order that at themacrorypodcastbook.com. It comes out January 26th. Also, Adventure Zone Crystal Kingdom, which is the fourth graphic novel in the series, is available for pre-order. Just go to TheAdventureZoneComic.com. That comes out July 13th, 2021. I think that's it. Thanks to John Rodrick and the Long Winters for these sort of theme songs that departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed.

Thanks to Maximum Fun. And thank you to Count Donna again for- Of course. It was my honor. I'm sorry about your brother. It was time. Although it seemed like more of a business relationship at this point. Yeah.

That's fine. We both have a spare still. Yeah. And you're doing better than he did really. So it might be an improvement. Thank you. Here's another yahoo sent in by Merritt Palmer, the prospector. Thank you, Merritt.

What happened? Oh, man. He's not dead. There's this guy on top of me. Oh, that's Count Donna. He's like Dracula, but for donuts. And the guy on top of you is dead Renfield. Well, I guess Justin's alive, so you don't need to tweet at him about this segment.

All right. There are more condolences to his wife that without context will seem extremely disturbing. But if you do have anything, you can just tweet at Count Donna. Yeah. That's going to be somebody that we have no quality control on. Big, big, big ups to trap. Anyway, Merritt sent this in. Thanks, Merritt.

It's yahoo answers user Ramiro who asks, and I'm going to read the question in the additional details because it's important. John Travolta dancing in Pulp Fiction. Well, did he do on a scale of one to five? I give him a four. He seems like he gave it a good effort and had a fun time. But maybe you feel otherwise. My name is Justin McRoy.

I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. Full fucking five. Full number. Oh, really? What is it? Brother, brother, me. Kiss your dad's girl on the lips.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.