My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 568: Will A Sign Help?

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

After over a decade of research, we’ve discovered a revolutionary new way to help answer all your questions. It’s with another question. The world will never be the same.Suggested talking points: Skinnovation, Mr. Chiskers , Vet the vet vet’s Vette, Who Will Buy My Nickel and Dime, Smell this sandwich, Fry disastersSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hateFor resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother big dog a woof woof a Travis McElroy And I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy You know here at my brother my brother in the industries Yeah, the word of the day the word of the year the word of the business is of course Innovation we're always looking for new ways to help you the listener

Slash consumer and for a while there was you said at the beginning of the year It was skin evasion and me and innovation and just like what's that and you were like poly weave fibers Nano fiber weave on your skin that makes you bulletproof and swordproof and we're like that's that's not real bud Yeah, but then you guys just brought me a lot about nudity like a lot New kinds of nudity internal nudity. Yeah, you spelled it in EWD, which I liked don't get me wrong I like that right yeah This time I figured out a new question And I think will help us answer questions for advice and maybe help the people at home and all right and that question is this

would assign help and I was going through the question list today Right, I was making it and I thought how often that could be you know There's like flowcharts of answers they have where it's just like, you know Is it this if yes then this if no then this right and I think that we could ask would assign help And that will be a good starting place a lot of questions like a sign like a bill Ingval situation Or I mean listen, I don't want to limit what kind of sign it could be a billboard. It could be a traffic sign Just like a written poster board thing

But if we can start from would assign help we can build off of that and give us a bit more of a foundation a Foundation of rock if you will instead of sand Okay, I feel we've been in the past it sounds like maybe you just watched them that three billboards outside bing bong, Wisconsin and You Certainly that's not the title of it. I haven't watched two billboards yet, so I don't want to get there Damn that would have been a good joke with that film was relevant a few years Right Boy

As a short movie too because it's just Francis McDormand and she's already sweaty for putting up the first billboard and she puts it I'm just like damn this I'm still not satisfied roll credits. Yeah, I gotta get some more bill I'm gonna need at least one more this first one says fuck Woody Harrelson and the next one says for real though But I feel like I need a third one. That's like for real though And then while I'm waiting for four billboards where the fourth one just says you just missed those last three billboards Yeah, that way it's time to turn around and go back Does Francis McDormand's awesome billboard slamming Woody Harrelson work just did say something like that. I

Wish I have more. I wish people did that to Woody Harrelson all the time for different reasons all over the country Oh, that's good. I wish it wasn't just his character. I wish it was like about another zombie land Woody. Yeah, Woody Hey, would he make a third zombie land? I didn't watch a second one because I want to watch the trilogy Yeah, one setting. Yeah I'm waiting till they show him back to back in the movie theaters. You know, yeah as was intended How's Matt? Matt McConaughey doing bud and you put it right outside his house not Matt McConaughey's house, but Woody Harrelson. Yeah Is Matt McConaughey gonna be your governor? Matt McConaughey would be I would say a step up

Maybe not the ideal candidate for the job But right now the candidate for the job who has the job is a real stinker So a bucket of what hamburgers push down a fly upstairs would be a better governor than you got right now That's not a unfair Comparison it's not an unfair thing to say Um, but yeah, I mean I I shit man. If that's what it if that's the way we go If that's the way we go with it. I can see but can we talk about How it directly affects this program? Yeah, if Matt McConaughey becomes your

Official governor. He's basically it should be noted already the governor of Huntington Yeah, because he made a movie about Marshall here and he's well years ago. I think yeah like a hundred years ago And he's now all of her dad. Yeah, but like if he becomes your the governator over there, you know, like well, we wouldn't call him that Yeah, but like what happens to this program my brother my brother meet if if frequently there's something going on where Matt He had McConaughey is your Governor, I mean, I'm just worried that it's going to eat up his time to make car commercials and stuff like when that's all He'll get there. Yeah, that Lincoln money that Lincoln spends awesome. He's got beautiful rolling hills for because he was the Lincoln lawyer That Lincoln was like, oh, yeah, I think that's what it was

Okay, I think it's at least how it started. Okay. He thinks he's still filming the movie. Yeah, he's like winds out of Lincoln lawyer sequel arrive, all right When Lincoln lawyer two comes out if you haven't watched all the Lincoln car commercials ARG You're gonna have missed out on a lot To follow the hunt of the car of the man behind the wheel dot org. Yeah for its slash Matt McConaughey for gov With four v's the adventure begins The adventure begins there and at the end you win a coupon for a screed free scoop of basket Robbins. Yeah, which is nice I hope he has your vote. I don't know. He's can I be honest? I don't know

Don't know his platform doesn't matter. He's Matthew McConaughey. I can fill in the blanks a lot. Yeah I bet he's part of the Green party You know what? I hope he's not a member of all right. All right. All right. All right That's really good Fuck it took a while to get there. That's awesome. Yeah, see a sign helped. Yep. You're right I'm an artist lately. I've been studying architecture as a hobby. Cool. I live within biking distance. That's cool Yeah, it's cool bad ass doesn't it seem like that would be that's one that I wish I could sit down for like an hour

And be able to point at buildings to be like, hmm neoclassical. Oh, right, right, right? That'd be cool. Now. Here's the thing. Justin. Can I tell you something 99% of the time you can do that Because the person you're talking to chance that they know if you're right or wrong very slim, but I know And that's gonna that's not gonna boost my confidence. I look down the street and be like, oh, that's a big one Oh, yeah, I like that one. Oh, great one It would be like if imagine the time I've spent learning about disney world was applied to the real world. Oh, yeah, sure Yeah, yeah, yeah, imagine if the way I am when we walk around disney world I'm like, you know, that's actually the

Is the the letters on that window advertising that fake business are actually a reference to one of the original lawyers of the disney world team Imagine if I was like that, but like for but like smart shit Like that's how an architect feels when they're walking around disney with you and they're like, why did I waste all this time learning about architecture? I could have learned about disney like justin cuz he's so cool It'd be so cool, but it's got architecture in it too is the problem. Yeah, you know what I mean? And very rarely does architecture have disney in it. Just imagine walking around Chicago and pointing out the big buildings and be like, Yeah, that's a mid-century david hide pierce Man, remind me to tell you guys about the email we got about frasier's theme song. No, no, I know

I live within biking distance of a couple of old slash architecturally interesting slash weird houses And I would love to sit and draw them and take some notes on the architectural features However, I don't think this would interdear me to the occupants very much How can I complete my self directed studies without coming off as a huge creep? That's some suspicious student in steadybrook. Okay. Can I ask a stupid question? Yeah, and it's very obvious So it must be like a stupid. Yeah, like why What is the I don't know. I don't do like this kind of art a Mormon audio artist Yeah, how how does why can't you just take a picture and then draw based on the picture? Good question

So I actually in college As part of a scene design class we had to go and like draw buildings on campus And it's about like angles and getting the right uh, like Getting the right perspective so that you can compare lines compared to other things and changing your point of view and shit like that Yeah And with so you gotta kind of do it. Well with a photo you don't always get the depth Yeah, you can there should be a way to like have photos that like fucking move Yeah, so you can like get the

Well, I thought that's also not it's fun That's you know, it's fun. It's also not gonna get you put into artist jail. Yeah, which is where we put people who do art Well, so here's the question. Yeah, what a sign help um That sign you just had a sign set up next to you. Hey, wait a minute Now wait, this is a good question to start asking if you put up a sign that said basically like Doing art building artists over here. Yeah

Building art building artist ask me anything and then a little hat Because I think people are more comfortable If commerce is involved. They understand they get the motivation at that point Wait, you're just doing this to make yourself happy. No about this I will draw. Okay. I got I got I got I got it You sit down. Uh-huh you get your pad your pen a cup of joe and then you start drawing the houses, right? And then you have a sign that says I will draw This building for five dollars. Yeah

And if someone comes over and they're like, here's five dollars. You just be like choice. Thanks. Here's the building working on it I'm on it. I'm working on it and they'll be like should I come back later for my drawing like, you know Get the drawing. I'm just I'm drawing. Yeah, maybe five dollars. I'm drawing the building. I'm not offering anything I'm asking yeah And you don't get it doesn't matter if anyone ever does it because you never see it Like a caricature artist is always you see him as sometimes a dizzy world and caricature artists is always sketching something Yeah, you'll never show you of course But they don't just sit there and stare at you until like you hey, you've got a great chin for caricature

Come on over like they're working on stuff. You're always interrupting the caricature Are there care? How many times a character? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, both of you are talking at once Griffin you had a question Do you what's your question? Do you think that they're a caricature? Artists and that's the ones that do house drawings, but they do them all exaggerated and silly like the windows are like wicked big I regret I regret coming to you Griffin. Now we're going to hear what Travis said. Excellent. Excellent Do you think it's really frustrating when you're like Beyonce and you sit down at a caricature artist and the caricature artist finishes And Beyonce is like I'll take that please and the caricature artist is like no, this is really good

I'm going to put it up to display my talent and Beyonce just has to walk away without her drawing But I don't think that Beyonce usually does sit for those kinds of yeah, but they always have one of Beyonce, don't they? At some point she wants to come by they got terminator They got Beyonce because this Travis has just explained to us in excruciating detail You can't draw based on a picture of Beyonce. Correct. You got to have Maybe that's why they look like they do They drew it from a picture and they're like, oh no, the perspective's so wrong. Her head is giant Wouldn't it be so funny if Charlie Chaplin walked up and he was like, I'll take that one of me please

That's really good. I'll be suing you. That's me, sir I'll purchase this and then Gil also. Why did you draw me knowing this? And then fucking Gilbert Godfrey walks by and drops off a picture of himself That is just with the same one picture that every caricature artist has he's just walking around the country dropping those off like johnny apple is seen He drew them himself and he's like you can display this as your work. I'm like, I guess Okay If you're outside somebody's house drawing it would a sign help and this but the sign says like hey, I'm not jerking off out here You guarantee nothing everything is above board. I'm just sketching for a non

Jerk off application promise promise promise to the max, but damn it somebody could wear that sign That and be jerking off that does gonna plan on doing that. Well, this is the this is one of the intricacies of the question Would a sign help because yeah, like if you just wrote I'm drawing the house, right? That's not as bad as I'm drawing the house. Steve and johnson who lives in it. Yeah Now Now it's weird now. It's a problem. We need to get these signs notarized Yeah, yeah, yeah, it says hey, I'm not jerking off down here And then there's like two signatories

On the bottom and like a seal from the mayor that's like yep. He's not he's not jerking off out here. He's just drawing I promise trust me. I'm the mayor How about another question? Yes. I know this is an orthodox. Okay But why not? Okay, I would actually can I do this wiki how article because let me tell you something about this fucking website guys Let me tell you something. Let me get well. No, but let me that was so much wasted time now But listen, I gotta tell you something about this website. It uses more fucking ram on my

considerably beefy rig then Ableton then the 90 audacity windows I have open then I could be running fucking halo 9 on this pc Or on on on my computer and it would fucking not use as much ram as wiki how my fan is screaming because it's like look at all these poor images So I want to finish this and close this so that the audio will be better. Is that okay? Okay. Okay. Good I I found this one on wiki how and it's about

Cat behavior communicating with cats, which is okay a rich rich vein on wiki how I think it's maybe just because people like to draw kitties And the title of the article is how to apologize to a cat Apologize to a cat Step one. I miss my cat's birthday and I've been wondering Oh, well, this is gonna be great for you. This is more about like I accidentally You know You know bumped into him in the middle of the night and pissed him off or whatever I rubbed there further wrong way because I've never touched a cat before

So more physical sliding and not so much emotional exactly determine the offense What did you do to make your cat matter? Did you make fun of her? You fucking stink. Oh, okay. Wait I'm back in. Yeah, if you offend your cat by making fun of her you'll probably have to offer some treats and praise Yeah, your cat's definitely Understands English enough to say like your butthole stinks. Mr. Chisk Chiskers Choose Chiskers and then she got it you gotta choose a good time to apologize if the cat's angry not now

Approaching too soon. It's a cat's busy. If the cat's a busy not right now. It's steven. I'm on the phone This is an important call. Yeah, I told now. It's even worse Listen, don't approach too soon because you might get scratched but don't wait too long To apologize because cats definitely will think about that stuff You can approach a frightened cat but do so with caution. I'm I'm not busy right now, but I'm fucking terrified It's okay. I'm sorry. I was just listening to creepypasta. I don't have time I can't seem to creepypasta on the internet steven Please

Walk slowly to the cat. Don't rush up on it. Sorry Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Don't do that. Don't do that soft gentle talk to your cat. Tell her I'm sorry. You may even use your cat's name. It will not understand Either of those things I bet but try blinking slowly because cats love that shit Jackson gala How slowly be be clear slow as you can Slow as you can Jackson galaxy taught that to the world back in like 2007 and every it's the only thing people remember about cats Stroke your cat gently in her favorite spots

My cat's fucking terrified and I ran up on it real fast, but I know exactly where I touch this little guy So it's okay scratch behind the ear behind the cheek. It's all good Play with the cat. These are all good things. Give the cat some attention praise and compliment your cat Give your cat what he or she wants within reason Okay, this something. Yeah, now we're getting a car My cat fucking hates the way I talked about it is stinky, but but I am gonna give it a hundred thousand dollars I am gonna give it one night Where it rules the house and it eats the food in the kitchen and I have to shit in its bad box

Here's one thing I know about cats is that levels are very important. So I cat trees are a thing Yeah, so it's a way of cast to show like they're more important than other cats So when you're apologizing your cat lay down flat on your belly with your arms on your side And kind of inch forward a little bit. Yeah cat knows that you're putting it above you So then we have four entire sort of paragraphs here where the wiki how a article artist was like j jones jamison was like I need fucking I need 18 column inches and they're like, oh shit Well, here's four tips that are all variations on give your cat a treat

Give a treat to your cat leave a cat treat surprise for your cat add treats to your cat's food Treat your cat with some special food. Good. Good. Good. Now. Hold on. I want to go back to number two Because the problem is if you leave a surprise treat somewhere it might not associate that treat with you. No Awesome. I'm having a shit day. Stephen's been a real jackoff tried to run up on me blinked too fast What's this talked about my butthole talked about my asshole didn't even apologize. What's this? What's this? What's this? A special surprise unrelated to steven Offer some dried catnip. Uh, okay Hey, yes

I'm not man enough to apologize to my sweet mr. Chiskers But I won't get him fucking fucked up and then maybe when he's in that state He will be more amenable to apologize. Yeah, what'd you do steven? You talked about my asshole? I don't even remember ma'am. Forget it. Hold on. You joke at that But this is a thing humans do to other humans like I'm going to take you out to a drink to apologize That is to thank humans do to other humans And then y'all watch the tail Oh my god

If the tail is pointed up with the tip curled to the side that cat's okay to come Poofed up cat the cat's frightened which as we learned earlier in the article not entirely a deal breaker If he's thumping it though. No, no, no, no walk right away. Walk right. What if his tail? Makes the perfect shape of a question mark. Yeah That means he's got a puzzle for you Follow him Follow the cat and don't stop following it until you've reached the puzzle because it's somewhere. Look at the face That's helpful. Are the whiskers pointed teeth bared and nose wrinkled. That's 101 angry cat stuff

So don't do that. That's anything's angry. If anything did that I'm like, that's a problem Yeah Now I want to hop down to the community q&a because someone asked is there a quick and easy way to apologize for little things Which is fucking awesome. You've read this whole article. You're like, that's Too much time. I can't approach a cast slowly. I'm a businessman on the go I got stocks to trade and houses to close on I can't I can't walk up on my cast low and then blink slow I'm not made of time or money You can just say sorry cat name in sweet apologetic voice and pet them gently on the spot. They like

So sort of it can that's the only two points on this list that really matter Do you think it's just generating like if you're still clicking through? Hmm, it'll just keep making questions like an a there's like an ai that's like generating answers like do another one about streets Yeah, they're still clicking. They're still reading. I just took my cat to the vet and they had to give him a shot Now he's mad at me and scared me. What do I do now? You fucking say to the cat like I'm sorry I don't want you to fucking get a heart disease, mr. Chiskers Yeah, you can be pissed off if at me if you want because I gave you an expensive shot So you don't die from cats diseases of which mr. Chiskers. I will say there are thousands

And sometimes they sound fucking made up by the vet who's just trying to sell you medicine. Sell you shots Yeah, sorry mr. Chiskers that I love you so much. I don't want you to fucking die at age five And grateful shit. How does here's a wiki article How does my cat apologize to me for being a real shit after I gave it medicine? So it doesn't die from a lung disease of which there are thousands for cats How to make my cat understand responsibility. Yeah, you raise a actually pretty good point about vets I'm kind of worried about that now because like think about it. It's the worst It's kind of like with the other mechanic and he's like you need a new farberator. Yeah, it's like

I don't think I don't trust you. I'm going to drive away now and see what happens I roll the dice and the check into light comes on in like a week I thought yeah, right If that happens with your pet, then that's that's no good. You don't like that. That's a good cast Don't have a check engine like you know what I mean? They just have shoeboxes And and so it's like you I don't how do you trust your vet because they don't they understand it way better than you do This is awesome. You just got to do whatever they say, right? That's awesome, man. If we're being honest chances are for a change

My dogs are in cahoots with that vet the dog costs a little bit And the vet's like, oh, yeah, I know he's got a bad case a kibble cough or whatever That'll be five hundred dollars. And then he slips my dogs and treats. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, your your your parakeet is getting its beak wet on this on this deal fear. I don't trust anybody involves It's so cool that we can be on the ground floor of this like anti-vax but for animals move But like it seems like not really no, it doesn't seem like it's Right, we're just having fun and then you have to make it all grip got to get political God griffin it's always getting political

What's next griffin you and the vets are gonna team up to write us emails and talk about how kibble cough is real And it's very bad and it costs five hundred dollars Huh, are you wait griffin? Are you involved? No, no Oh, it goes all the way to the top of big podcast. Listen Listen, I know what I just said, but I do and I I love our nation's vets But but only our nation's vets and let me just say though it is weird how it's always five hundred dollars That is weird And there's always a special food. Uh-huh. They're like, oh, no, he's got double buttworms. That's 500 big ones

That's like shit. I just paid you 500 big ones Sometimes we get emails And tweets that we don't deserve and I make it very clear to people It was it's my dad and my therapist and my wife. I said, I did not deserve this tweet No, Justin, you did not deserve it. You did not deserve the tweet. You did not deserve the mean email people You don't you boys don't deserve it. You're trying your best I feel like this past five minutes is one of those Yeah, I get it

It's one of those times when we're gonna get the tweets and we're gonna get the emails and we're gonna say, yeah Yeah, this one. Yeah, really beefed it. This one. Yeah, we were just kind of we knew it even as we were saying That one good. Yeah, we knew it. Yep. We deserve the tweets. No, no, and I guess I would say lord, I apologize Just like Maybe we can flip it in the end because I don't know that we said anything like Fully like that identifies that when we said vet, we weren't talking about veterans. So maybe we oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah on veterans and say like, yeah, I don't know why veterans always Are charging 500 dollars to fix our pets

Okay, currently I am Do you think there's any veterans who went on to be veterinarians? Definitely. That's gotta be confused. That's funny, right? They probably did it first and then people and then people want to check them out to see if they're any good So you're vetting the vet vet. Yeah One more Uh, uh, and then and then okay, we're gonna wait and then he's selling his corvette And you want to check out to see if it's any good. So you're vetting the vet vet. Oh, you did it. You got there Thank you. How do you?

Thank you And he named it vet meddler. So you're vetting the vet vet vet All right You're vetting the vet vet vets bet. You should have stopped it for There's not a comedy rule of it's when I started cheating. Yeah, that's when I started cheating to change the letter Yeah, I changed the letter. Um currently i'm sitting in the stretching area of my gym sounds disorienting There's no earthly way Welcome to taffy town

We've belabored this enough to say that even our dullest listeners You get it on it now get it I had a court this non-joke I had a quarter in my pocket and I just looked over to see my quarter rolling across the floor Landing against the stretching mat of the girl closest to me who is like five feet away My quarter is leading up against her mat. She hasn't noticed Brothers do I cut my losses and leave my quarter? Or do I ask her for it back and try to explain that my quarter rolled out of my pocket to her mat?

Even though that sounds like an absolute lie. That's from runaway quarter in rung rung come on Run come on. I mean, it's not a lie. The quarter's there Who but Did you just I want Before we get into the specifics of this I would like to talk about quarters. Okay Penny's gross dimes nickels throw them all in the garbage. I'll fuck with a die. Yeah A dime is so little it takes us so little effort to pick it up a quarter Oh, man

Where I'm at in my life right now You still will come across like, um A vending machine you want to get yourself some tried it Yeah, or maybe you want to park a car and you gotta put a quarter in there I'll still need from time to time and to me I so rarely use cash That I never even really encounter quarters

So the value of the quarter has actually exceeded The value of the quarter due to rarity. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, due to rarity. How did I get a quarter? I there have been times in the past like literal month of my adult life where I've been like, oh two quarters Yeah, I feel like a little excited in my pocket. What's that jingle jangle? I don't remember getting these bad boys Guess daddy's getting some try to I'll tell you the mistake I made About two years ago just went to the bank Hand him a $10 bill to give me a roll of quarters And then I just emptied it into the center console of my car

So I would always have a quarter if I needed it But then I should and that's why that high speed collision was in fact very bad Incredibly, there was basically a dirty bomb at that point, but Then I started to take for granted that the quarter would always be there Oh And then one day I pull up to all Z and I need to get my all D card out by putting a quarter into the cart No quarter and I'm the asshole running around with two dimes and nickel like hey, can I will anybody trade? Will you trade? Who will buy trades? Who's doing coin trades?

Bye my nickel I'll say a mistake. I made empty out my 401k for and I got it all in quarters I went to David Buster's and I was like, I'm gonna have the best weekend ever And then they were like we do digital cards. We don't do points anymore Fuck I'll tell you who fucking loves quarters four year olds. I hand bb three quarters And she's a case on me and gulp gulp gulp. No, so she's four guys like tic tac She didn't eat quarters. That's my 18 Great wolf lodge arcade does the digital cards and I tell you guys

When you start hitting the slots really hard trying to get the you don't really feel that money leaving so much When it's on a car you're trying to get that like squidward. Oh, yeah to complete your spongebob The gary is the hard to get one. That's the gary's the chaser for sure Just like the todo in the wizard of ozlin. That's the chase. Oh, man. This sucks because she's stretching. Oh, yeah So you can't you can't let me say you can't go over you can't approach. So here's the question What a sign help I mean dammit You could still maybe even use the i'm not tricking off out here sign to like walk over and grab the coin

and That even the presence of that feels like harasser. Yeah, so I think in this circumstance the answer is no Yeah, because the amount of effort one would need to put into making a sign to explain that your quarter rolled over there That's too much effort. We haven't established the value of quarters though This is what i'm struggling with is like what do you have? Later in the day that you needed that quarter It's got to be important because you got dressed for the gym And you thought well i'm taking this quarter with me got to put this quarter in my waistband

The only thing that makes sense is that they found the quarter earlier in which case Is he coming you got to let it go you got to let yeah now it's on its journey, right? You were you were but a waypoint on this quarter's journey Yeah But if it's your quarter and your big plans and this is the one gym in the world that sells big bottles of power Aid for a quarter and you were going to slam that sweet blue stuff after your workout Yeah, you got to get that quarter back and here's the thing I think that this is listen. This is not a perfect solution

But you could quickly walk over murmur a drop in my quarter and pick it up and get back They will judge you the person will judge you but you're in and you're out fast enough that your hope is you're not memorable It's not a remarkable insight, but you can't again You can't go over there Need you can't oh damn I was gonna say big magnet, but that doesn't work on quarters, does it? No, no, no doesn't work on quarters. They're probably zinc or something you could train an animal to get it for you, but that's kind of a long Thing you have to just hope that they don't pick up the corner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta wait it out big beautiful quarter No one nearby

Lean in there on my mat calling to me. It's my quarter now Here's you do need to be careful you need okay while they're still stretching on the mat You need to forget that quarter exists and keep doing whatever you're doing because if there's even a whiff of you staring over there and checking They're not going to assume you're looking at a quarter. It's right. It's I don't I've never really been a gym guy And I can't I don't know Griffin. You're so beefy and strong Well, I do it at home with all the big flower bags of flower that I carry. Oh, yeah You do more of the rocky like found stuff. You know, it's mostly just big bags of flower. I got it Costco. Um, okay

And I don't know what the sort of status quo is vis-a-vis talking to or looking at other people who are exercising because I'll say this When I exercise in my office, I shut I draw the blinds I shut the doors. Yeah No one should have to see that and I don't want anyone to see that and I don't want to see other people doing it And so I don't I don't this is unacceptable. I think if you go get the quarter, there's a good chance You may be removed from the premises premises

Permissive Is there a way that you could play it like oh wait, hold on. Sorry real quick. Oh, oh that was close When you pick up the quarter and if it's still rolling if it's ooh, that's it You fucked up already if if you do this instinctively if the quarter goes bye You stretch too hard Bye And starts to roll away if you jump at it then And like grab it while it's doing its little

Who will like spin anything and you like slap your hand down on it And they the other person's so scared and you're like look and you show them it's a quarter and they'll be like, oh Glad you got it That's it. Also because this you you your body will naturally make a noise that's like whoa When you get it that'll make it clear like yeah, I'm not trying to connect with you or impress you in any way Yeah, this is 100 about the quarter because if it were not my body would not have made that noise in front of you Another human being What about

What about hey, you dropped your quarter. Oh, you know And if they say that's not my quarter You say Congratulations You you've but what if they say that is my quarter Then you know something terrible about that you can fucking there is no there is no link That person will not go to to cover up the fact that they just lied to you. Yeah, it's time to ruin their life You know, yeah, it's time to ruin them to put a do an announcement on the gym announcers

Hey everyone, we have a real sinker Everybody join me. Don't drop a quarter near laura Announcement don't jump a quarter near laura. She'll just gobble it right up like back man Also, could someone spot me for a power eight after my workout. I'm so fucking sure I need a quarter shit You also look over and say Penny for your thoughts and they'll say that is a quarter and then you run away you run away laughing Let's take a break and go to my zone

Tell you guys there's two things I love what wait, I want to do it. I want to do it. Okay Welcome to my perfect site. Hey everybody. It's just a macro. Welcome to my talk show My perfect site where we talked about my incredible 2020 vision and we talked to a guest who wants to get my abilities through artificial augmentation today We have a pair of podcasting brothers travis ed griffin mckelroy And they want to get a little bit of my perfect site. It's boys. What what what are you trying to get this incredible? 20-20 vision that you can't pronounce mech Leroy, please Mech Leroy

We use we go to warby parker. They have affordable glasses including prescript with prescription lenses Sunglasses progressive. They got they're very a very progressive company. They have blue light lenses and um This show feels weird. I don't know that I love this show. It feels very judgmental. What's the aesthetic? It's cool. It's ventures inspired with a contemporary twist I mean every pair is custom fit with you know, really cool lenses and shit I own a lot of warby parker already and when I when I wear glasses It makes me feel kind of like a cyborg because I'm enhancing, you know, my vision through artificial means. Yeah Now boys, I have a question the the glasses sound beautiful. I'm looking at you too and that you're you look

Great and the the deals sound great my big question for you And I think a lot of our home audience is wondering this as well Why not just look at things with your perfect eyes? Okay, so yeah, yeah, we took a quiz You take a quiz but a fun one not like a school one and then they send you a home try-on kit with a button How do you see it? Oh boy with my glasses that I'm wearing and You get it that you're bad shameful glasses that you're trying to replace You try them on they sent five five different like frames and you try them on you see what looks good

And you pick them and later they they send you the glasses and it looks good on your face And it's very important for people like Griffin and I who have very large heads And things that fit normal human beings don't always fit us. So we use the home try-on kits Just to make sure it doesn't look like a novelty thing This is one thing I can actually sympathize with you if if you if we are us and you ever lose or break your sunglasses And people are like just go get another pair over there. They've got a whole rack of them. No No, we need a special store Sometimes it looks like the anime character where they draw them with like really tiny circle glasses on their giant head

That's us Regular glasses look like mr. Potato head glasses on us is what yes This got real personal it did and also Justin brings up a great point where that me and travis have to wear glasses because of our prescription But justin wears gunners for fun. So I call them funners You can try on warby parker for free with the home try-on program You order five pairs of glasses to try them at home for free for five days And there's no obligation to buy it ships for free and it includes a prepaid return shipping label

Try five pairs of glasses at home for free at warby parker.com slash my brother Welcome to my perfect stamps. This is the show where griffin and I Have perfect stamps because we use stamps.com and our brother dirty stamps. Yeah, you used justin buys used stamps which is He puts them in a book. He doesn't even use them to send Letters or anything he just gets him and then he looks them and he's still going to the post office wasting that time Like a real goober. I don't and he doesn't because you know why you know what I heard griffin What are you here? He doesn't have anything better to do except for the post office for sure for sure

And he doesn't like saving on postage He likes wasting his money on old dirty stamps that people have already licked or postage that comes from the post office And he doesn't want to spend time with his family It doesn't mean I don't that's the worst part for me if you ask me that's the worst part for me Is he says going to the post office gives me an excuse to not have to see the smiling faces of my children And he said my only friends are at the post office and I was like that's fucked up But yeah every day I go and buy more stamps just so I can see postman steve smiling face because I like it more than my It's weird because postman steve doesn't like know who justin is

Which is just because I ask him giving him gifts. It gives him gifts every time he goes to see him I've been keeping it tally and so far you guys are up to three 100 accurate statements that you have paid Stamps.com brings the same us postal and ups shipping services right to your computer They print official us postage and shipping labels while you print them 24 7 without having to leave your desk or buy any fancy equipment All you need is your computer and a standard printer and they offer deals You can't get anywhere else like 40 off usps and up to 66 off ups shipping rates And if you have really good peripheral vision you can click In print those stamps while staring at your children's smiling faces or your cats your dogs or house plants or like a puzzle

You completed and then like lacquered and put up on the wall Whatever you want to look at that you like more than going outside, which I totally get you can do that So don't waste any more time looking at your your kids go to the and don't go to the post office Go to stamps.com instead. There's no risk and with our promo code my brother all one word You get a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a digital scale No long-term commitments or contracts Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in my brother That's stamps.com promo code my brother stamps.com never go to the post office again

Hello, I'm Riley Smirrell. I'm Sydney McElroy and I'm Taylor Smirrell And we host still buffering a cross-generational guide to the culture that made us Every week we share media that made us who we are things like garchie comics sailor moon and lots of Taylor Swift And now that Riley's an adult it comes with a hundred percent more butts And now I am totally comfortable with it So check out new episodes of still buffering every thursday on maximumfun.org

Butts, butts, butts join in Riley butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts, butts Step two, huh? I want a munch too Welcome to munch squad evolved. This is a evolution of munch squad into podcasts and then podcasts We're profiling latest and greatest at brand eating. I cannot I can no longer rely on the The quick service restaurants and their press departments to give me what I crave So, uh, I've decided to help help munch squad along a little bit with it with the evolve sort of uh, this is called I call it people's choice. This is munch squad people's choice. And here's the deal

Okay, so welcome to munch squad evolved people's choice This is where uh, I here's the thing I am a member of several different groups on facebook devoted to restaurants In my area really And I wanted to see what the people are saying, you know what I mean? Because you can listen to the press releases and what they say about the restaurants But what are the people saying about the restaurants? That's what I'm okay. Okay Okay, so this is i'm not even gonna say what groups they're from because honestly

I want people to join them and make things weird for everybody because this is just for kind of like us west virginians To get there and dish on the dishes as we said in the groups But mainly it's reviews. That's what people like to leave so you can kind of get a sense of uh, the good Taco Bell You know, yeah, okay I hadn't been to steak escape in canaw city for quite a while And thought I would drive through and bring it home for dinner So this what this person's provided is a justification for why they have decided to go to a restaurant and purchase food It's so important because a lot of restaurant reviews will leave out the fact that they wanted to buy food

While I was waiting in line. I saw a guy in front of m&m mart sitting on the curb and shouting out to people who ignored him Seemed to be under some kind of influence Suddenly he was knocking on my window and told me That the food at this steak escape was bad. I don't know And he said the last time he ate there. He was sick for a week So, okay, let me tell you what this person has just described is the situation where they go to steak escape They see someone yelling at people who won't believe them. They're ignoring them and then they were Say don't eat at the steak escape. It's bad

It's very relevant to this person's life. What's wonderful about this is it's a real world like example of why If somebody busted into wherever you are right now and said i'm you from the future Don't do what you're about to do. You'd be like, okay, whatever. They're under the influence of something This person is doing the lord's work trying to keep you from getting blood sick Steak escape. I don't know how to catch people before they go in so i'm just waiting outside to tell people That it's like don't eat at this one. Okay, it made me really drunk I appreciate that Yeah, except this person this review writer says I thought he was just a little nutty

And continued to pay for my food and take it home I continued to pay for my food and take it home I had coven in january and smell and taste are still not quite back At home I opened the sandwich wrapper and my grand escape looked fine I took a bite and as I did I got a whiff of the sandwich Whoa, that's the order that I took. I guess Where people are like, please explain to me the mechanics of I bit the sandwich and then later on Well, just in taste and smell are very well are not quite back, right?

I took a bite and as I did I got a whiff of the sandwich I smelled it and then asked my granddaughter Oh, yeah, that's hey mima that smells fucking rancid grandma you should not eat that I already did fuck If only I could have smelled it before I ate it damn it Oh It tastes fine. I I smelled it and then asked my granddaughter to see if it smelled okay to her is She knew nothing about the guy that is important. I was gonna ask Although I don't know how cool your life is if that happened to me as soon as I walked in the door

I would be telling my wife this incredible story today. Yeah, except you're the villain in that story Aren't you because someone was waiting outside until you don't eat well That's the thing and then you still and if you went home and I'm not just saying this specifically About Sydney, but if you went home and told your wife the story and whoever you're telling the story to was not there to see it Their first thing is going to be and you still did it like because yeah, it's impossible That's how I feel person writing this comment I smelled it and then asked my granddaughter to see if it smelled okay to her. She knew nothing about the guy She said it smells like poop. Well

That's exactly what I thought when I smelled it or in other words Bad meat. Damn it. The guy wasn't crazy after all It was bad. I think this is a great example of a sign would have helped Yeah, because if that if that gentleman had had a well constructed sign That he had clearly spent some time working on an official looking. Thank you. Maybe even framed Right, then you see that and you're like, well, this isn't a spur of the moment thing This is clearly a real issue that this person is concerned about Now here's the problem. I here's the problem though

If this person had decided to solve this problem With a sign. Yes We then then it starts to raise the issue of if the sign's too good At what point are you like? I don't actually need to be a part of this equation And that bums you out because it's like that's what I was planning on doing today But instead I've made, you know, it's like a john henry situation where like I've Made myself you could just put the sign there Just put the sign there, right? And you don't need to even be there and that's a well

Then the chance because that's the chance of someone being sent out of that weird side door that all fast food places have To remove the sign. Yeah, you need a defender Yeah as a steward there I mean if the sign is too good you could just start to think that it is sort of corporate warfare Like somebody from beef journey like Trying to Divert sorry beat beef journey. Yeah, that's the main competitor for steak escape. Okay. I'm looking at the steak escape menu I've eaten at this restaurant before we used to stop off there on our way to church

And get a big sandwich on the way there to help us get lots of calories to praise the lord And I don't remember them completely fucking Going over the deep end but they have they have so many different Fry disasters. They have an item called feisty amigo fries

Oh, I don't think that's right. It's called feisty amigo fries And it's got grilled steak jalapenos cheddar cheese and mexican seasoning and pico de gallo and and pico de gallo and sour cream And somewhere in there's fries Somewhere in there's fries, I bet You can't just take the contents of an entirely different dish and put it on fries and say is this anything? Yeah. Mm. Oh boy. They also have something called a teriyaki crunch bowl. I bet that's good Also, I bet that's really everybody trying to make that fry kind of thing a thing That's what nachos are for they're firm. You can lift up the whole thing a fry is a soggy boy

You can't pick up the whole thing. Let's keep it protein for fries, right? I'm fine with that Everything else on nachos. Yeah uh, one of the comments of this pose, uh I got food here like three weeks ago after waiting in line an hour Ended up throwing it away. It was horrible Billy did you say an hour hour at steak escape? Hey, billy come back Are you telling me there was a moment where you've been waiting a half hour? And you were like I could do this again for sake escape

For steak escape. Absolutely. I'm trying to decide now which one's worse if you were in the drive-thru or if you were inside in line Both are both are bad. Damn. They got a sandwich called the feisty amigo, too It's the same toppings as the french fries. That's awesome. You got to get them together, right? Those are the amigos Yeah Got to have the clutch that matches the dress all the ones around here Close the one on fifth avenue turned into a restaurant called sabatinos, but now it's just oh, I'm sorry Justin, I just heard from corporate. Uh, the verbiage we're using is they escaped They escaped

Well, the one at the mall transmigrified into a charlie's cheese steaks, which is fine It's an easy twist lateral lateral move worse fries better chicken They catch all the same employees because they already They already knew how to their way around remember as steak escape that there is a big thing there Where they just had a big pile of potatoes And then they had the crusher that would turn them into steak fries and you would be like Exciting chef's table and then you're like, let me get some Spicy zany amigo fries, please and they're like, okay, and you're like, let's see how this

Sausage gets made and then you watch them shove the potato in there and then they're like Trying to crush it and you're like fuck I made them do this this hard potato work. I hate my name is daniel I work at sake escape and I hate when people order the fries The worst part of my job when people order the fries They bring your that's the second word when they order anything else anything else when they bring you the feisty amigo fries Just covered in flop sweat and you're like, I'm so fucking if I'd have known no It's okay. They make us crush the potatoes. I don't know why the potatoes aren't pre-crashed

That's how they do it everywhere else. It seems like a better way of doing it They come slice everywhere else. They come slice your first They make us crush potatoes are so firm. Fuck. I also remember steak escape had a gigantic Container of seasoned salt out there for your fries Because if to say we don't know what we're doing here. You have some idea We don't know go for it. What a wild restaurant and what a wild podcast it has been sure Here on my brother my brother me. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. We sure enjoyed Uh spending a little time with you. Hope your summer's going. Oh, yeah

Yeah, buddy. I hope you're having a great time out there slip it in sliding. I assume You know, how you why are you? Oh my god. Why are you my what my watch? Just keep trying to talk to him Justin, I'll be getting steak escape today Justin I went ahead and ordered steak escape one door dish Order 500 sandwiches from steak. Watch watch Start a tab at steak escape If you're looking for a way to pass the summertime afternoon in a very pleasurable fashion might I suggest The uh adventure zone crystal kingdom a graphic novel which we wrote and kerry peach illustrated

And it is fucking good coming out july 13th I'm not just saying that either. It's a good and not just that not only is it coming out on july 13th Which is tomorrow if you're listening to this on monday. We are also doing a live and virtual event We've got special guests and trust me when I say they're very special You're going to really enjoy it. It's an absolute blast And you can find out all the information at bit.ly slash tas g in live 2021 You know all the info there and we have event exclusive sign book plates

Which are available from our partner bookstores more info can also be found at that bit link And you can submit your pre-order receipt to get the pre-order gift from first second our publisher To take kravitz lenticular laptop sticker. I will say this if you don't know much about the book publishing world Uh, uh, here's what I will say to you to keep in mind If you like this series and you want us to be able to continue to make them Uh, the thing that most publishers look at and and kind of the whole publishing world is built this way Is the first week of uh, uh book sales So if you could buy it like the first week that would just or pre-order it that works too

That would just be the coolest thing you could do. Yeah, you're so cool We got new merch over at macroinmerch.com including a new pen of the month for the gushy wolves, which is a Fantastic just a fantastic joke from the ether c prologue series And sales for that benefit the innocence project which works to exonerate the wrongly convicted through dna testing and reforms The criminal justice system to prevent future injustice. There's other stuff on there, too There's an it's trash sticker from the bim bam tv show. There's a beautiful green stoneware mug with the taz logo on it There's a finally some besties merch on there Uh, a t-shirt if you're uh, one of our many listeners of the besties. So check check all that out

And speaking of adventure zone the first uh episode of the the new season ether c is out now We've been doing the prologue, but now this is the first episode of the regular season. Uh, that's up now Um, I do some streaming on twitch twitch.tv slash the travis macro if you want to check that out We've got a youtube channel macroi family a lot of fun stuff on there Uh, and this is just a personal plug for me to you. Check out the besties is one of my favorite podcasts I listen every week. I learn a lot about video games. Uh, it's my brothers as well as rest restrict and chris plant Uh, it is one of my favorite podcasts. Go check it out. Thanks trap and thanks to montane for the use for our theme song My life is better with you

Uh, if you if you follow montane on twitter, you've probably gotten some tips and hints about some movement Let's just say some some movement In uh, the music publishing world vis-a-vis this song and you hearing it and seeing a music video for it So that's all great. Thank you montane and thanks max fun for having us on the network Go to maximumfund.org check out all the great shit that they have there. I'm sorry. I call this shit. It's not shit It's good podcasts. Let's hear Griffin. Let's hear that final yahoo sent in by davin and

davin sent it in and it was uh, sent it in today Oh sent in today this morning. Uh, it's a yahoo answers from and this one was asked by batman asks Batman asks Does anyone know where to Does anyone do any repairs? Does anyone know where to get repairs done on my Dad

Does anyone know where to get that does anyone know a good dad repair shop in houston, texas I I'm griffin mackerel. This is me and my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips It's better it's better with two Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported