My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 601: Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of the Perfect Beach Body

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

This episode gave us some real STANDING energy. Sometimes you just gotta talk down to the mic to let it know who’s boss.Suggested talking points: The Dungeon’s Inside the Dragon, Dong Quixote, Noodle Limpington II, Get Out of Bit Free Card, Sexy Texys, Pop Your Bones in ThereThe National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum: https://www.napawf.org/aboutHarmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the Modgen era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm Travis the Middle East No, I like it. I like the energy except for the spin on the name energy. Oh, no. Oh, that's good No, no, no, it's something new Travis. We're in the six hundreds now I'm standing up the sexy sixes. Oh the sex about the sex hundreds the sex You're all thought about we're like 66 episodes away from another episode. They were gonna have to skip

Yeah, there's no way we might get in so much trouble not getting in trouble with my dad for doing the devil's I'm not gonna summon L Diablo. No, no way. Thank you. No, thank you We're already tempting fate enough playing Dungeons and or dragons Yeah, then mess with that black magic. Oh my god This is like when my D&D character died all over again just like that chick track Yeah in the far like if you were to make a Biopic of Gary Gygax, do you think you would put in a scene where he's looking at a piece of paper and it says Dungeons or dragons? Yeah, and he's like lucky and he's like well

Hold on a second. He just like erases it. Yeah, they're right and he showed it and what he wrote He should I make a game about Dungeons? question mark dragons and then there was a character like Justin Timberlake in oh, yeah, it's just like don't think cool Dungeons and dragons But then the haters are like how are you gonna fit a dragon inside of a dungeon Gary? It's too small. Yeah, it's a small chamber Gary What I'm saying is that I'm gonna put the dungeon inside the dragon

Well, I don't think that's it either Gary. I think that's my vision for Elden Ring two the Dungeons inside the dragon Yeah, yeah, that's good. This is my show. Yeah, I'm standing. I wanted to bring Standing energy to this episode sometimes I dig deep deep down And I stand up. Yeah, huh? For I used to do hours. You're summon everything within you. I channel all my strength and I stand I used to do this for hours at Best Buy. I should be able to do it for an hour while we record this podcast, right? I'm at work. I'm at work

You definitely still have the same the same springy dewy body that you had in your Best Buy days. Yeah, that's true I was fucking so sexy. You were so ripped up that blue polo I was thinking about this this morning speaking of dewy sexy bodies Who do you guys think you're the what like what do you guys think you're the Ryan Reynolds of? Mmm, because I saw Ryan Reynolds and clearly he's the Ryan Reynolds of movies, right? Yeah, well and selling cell phones. Yeah, and owning soccer teams. I believe did he need to sell the cell phones? No, that's a passion. That's a passion Getting burners in the hands of the miscreants the gym the gym the soccer team the movies

That's his day job, right? Yeah selling cell phones. That's yeah that you can try he's Yeah, he's the right Reynolds of selling cell phones. The Lord came to him in a dream and said Ryan You must sell cell phones that when people drop them in the toilet. They go. Oh, well, that's fine. I'll get another That's fine What am I the Ryan Reynolds of yeah, I Mean is this about physical appearance? Like Like if you were saying well, you know like Ryan Reynolds from movies

Well, I'm like the Ryan Reynolds of blank. You know what I mean? What am I saying? Can I say movies? You're the Ryan Reynolds of movies? Well, I guess if he's gonna take Ryan Reynolds of cell phones you could be the Ryan You as we realize this week or as I realize this week you did perform in an Oscar-nominated film You're basically an Oscar-nominated Film performer for you. That's true hidden cameo in a it's not really hidden I mean, I am in the the credits of the film. That's yeah, no if you want to say hidden Justin and I have a hidden cameo where robots took our jobs

ironically Ironically in the movie Mitchells versus the machines Robots took our jobs and you know, you know, I'm rooting for in Kansas I want Linda get that you got So huge for him because you know, he's just like he's tortured Until he gets that. Oh, but me like I could get the I could just have an aw You know what I mean? If Mitchells wins the machines wins the Oscar for best animated picture I think they do have to send me one because I did do a voice in it

And yeah, who knows that could have been the the lynch pin keeping the whole thing together They should they should give out Oscar sized to like the Contribute so Griffin would get a little teeth to anyone because he had like an off-screen cameo ring, right? Okay, I don't know why you had to tear me down Because of robots. Oh, that's right. Robots took our jobs. Robots took our jobs. It's weird that robot didn't take my job though Do we tell do we tell that start we could probably tell the story now We there is let's preface it by saying there is no animosity from us Sounds like there's a little bit

Fucking fun. No, it is towards you But so we recorded some voices for Mitchells versus machines. This is something that happens, you know, but you Especially with voiceover stuff You don't know if you're actually gonna be like in it until cuz it's easy to swap you out with stuff So they wanted us to do voices for these appliances Uh-huh and the initial thing that they had wanted to do was have like a computer generated voices Right. That was like AI or whatever, but I guess the voice technology was trademarked or whatever Yeah, those are the parts that we are gonna do and then they managed to clear the AI voices

Uh-huh like the artificially generated voices and they use those quite literally Literally, yeah, our jobs were we were supposed to be Immune to jobs taking our machines. That is exactly what happened to us Yeah, and what and it's delicious because that is if you've seen the film Pretty much the plot of the thing. Yeah part of the thing. We're living it. You lived it macaroos versus the machine Then you're right and the machines win But Griffin I will cut my Oscar to three pieces that we can assemble shrine of the silver monkey No, this is a task. I've seen this. This is a Solomon thing. No, let Griffin keep the Oscar now Griffin

I don't want to put you on the spot, but do you think you could recreate? Yeah, sure sure Yeah, sure Today, I'll be playing the voice of freezer Freeze so there's no that but you did have a line in it. That's that's pretty much it You were no, you're the guy in the hallway in the dorm. No, I didn't get that didn't get that part I think I don't think maybe I did who knows but all I know is that I am going to melt the Oscar down and turn it into money I was there fall like I can reiterate there. Yeah

It's a great movie and we were really excited to especially especially from me because I would got I didn't get it We're I'm trying to be gracious about this and Griffin is making it so child No, no, you're being gracious to them and I'm being super gracious to them because they kept This is how gracious I am they sent out like casting crew gifts and I still have one. I have it on display Yeah, I didn't shatter mine with a ball peen hammer Definitely I Have those now. I do it. Can I jump back to the wisdom of Solomon real quick? Yeah, touch on it. Is that's where that's what this country's. Yes. Yeah, that's what this country's we're missing

Let's all take it back to the wisdom of Solomon. Thank you Travis. Is it even is it fucked up? Solomon's like all right I'm gonna cut this baby in half and then you guys can each have half and one one of the people is like sounds Hey, do you guys do you guys want to make a billion dollars sure sure listen listen fuck this is good King Solomon's like Guys if you're not standing already I get on my level cuz it is my mind is just not that high. I had the yeah I get higher baby. Oh, yeah, what's up now? I'm talking down to the mic Yeah, so so okay King Solomon is like

King Solomon's like well If y'all can't agree on whose baby it is I guess let's cut it in half Uh-huh, and then the baby turns around and is like You're gonna want to run that by HR boss baby three That's so choice Yes, yes, I love this We're gonna have a whole series of this where it's like Oh Pharoah said to kill all the male babies and we got put this baby in a basket and float him down the river and the baby turns around like

Excuse me boss baby three and it's all No, well listen don't confine yourself Okay, baby's day out the baby's rocking around on girders and there's a monkey trying to eat it Yeah, and the baby's about to fall off the girder and then boss baby pops up and he's like um Don't think you're gonna file for work miss comp Boss baby boss says hey you're better than this you don't have to be a clown for those adults up there watching you Okay, we're workshop. There's plenty of time for this boss A lot of people like to talk about Solomon's great wisdom because he was like let's cut a baby in half

JK you win how to baby but I have but I bet you he also had some real stinkers of rulings like oh Man she did she meant straighted on the Lord's day got she's dead Problematic prophylaxis on this biblical character just assuming there's some wax shit in Solomon's closet Yeah, well we all we talked about how it worked out with the baby, but it's never like oh cut the house in half Oh, well, let's cut this will cut that cow and it's tough to try to fucking cut stuff in half Solomon How close did he get was he like I'm gonna do it? Like a paper cutter. That's just like oh I'm gonna get him. I just want both people to be like doing this bare hands like the power team

And he just he came up with that ruling on the spot to save face. You know what actually Never mind that was it. I want to tell the baby in half. You were gonna let me do it I saw you in your face. You didn't want me to but you definitely were gonna let me so I'm giving it to her Why what are you talking about you trying to karate chop the baby? We both said stop no, I didn't see she didn't mean it when she said stop She was totally cool with me karate chopping this baby in half I'm gonna cut the baby now. You're gonna wait, but we're We both know that baby won't keep working. I have a baby will turn into a whole baby

He had to lean over like the king's hand and just be like check this out. I'm gonna go jazz on this Yeah, I'm gonna get a little Loose I followed my lead. I bet you tend to follow me in the key of G my man. I Bet you 10 duck it's this works 10 bags of salt Follow me on this one, man, but be ready to pull the record and laugh like it was a joke if they don't buy it Okay, I'm the king. You got to do it. Okay. All right. It is time for a fight. Yeah, I'm dumb Oh god, I've lost my hold on. I've lost my monitor signal one moment. Please bear with

Well, while Justin gets his monitor back in I was thinking maybe we could raise the level of sophistication Here on the show a little bit We got there was a little ribble tree in there, you know, King Solomon. It's very blue And so I think it's time that we maybe take some time to appreciate a worker fart You don't have to know what it is. It's gonna be like we know your bits. We know what this is gonna be I know but there's a lead into it Griffin. Yeah, you got to let him work his Art to it, man. Sure. There's fart to it. Now Griffin has

Shown fuck time. It's what's wrong juice juice. No, he just birds. It's a fucking same time It's it's hard standing up cuz I I my cords are not wanting to call corporate Yeah, I had a real situation that I had to untangle while recording, but I'm fully dialed into your bit now Travis And I want great. I want you to start out Griffin. Can you? Please fill the list Mary and if I don't want to do that for you. Here's how I'll do it. I'll do it Okay, so here's how it works Travis is going to come up with a punny a punny name

For a work of art that makes it ribbled or blue, but he's not gonna say what it is He's gonna make us say it because that makes us complicit Yes, and he'll lead us there with with a clue and then that were complicit in the thing Cuz we're actually the ones coming up with it and this time I'm gonna change something slightly you got buzz in you got buzz in this Yeah, okay, how do we do that? Just you can say whatever you want buzz. Yeah, well, you don't have to say buzz griffin You know the world's your oyster. Okay a Scientist resurrects a dead masturbator, but who's really the monster buzz Buzz buzz. I did I heard Griffin's buzz first with Justin's buzz most I am going I am going to say Wankenstein

That is correct. Wankenstein. Wow. Wow It was either gonna be that or Frankenstein not the most outside of the box one if I'm being honest, okay? Okay, let's turn it around and it was first. Okay, here it goes Check out the balls on this guy. He's tilting it windmills. Huh? Oh, I got a dang buzz. Yes, Griffin Is it is that dong key hoatee? Uh, no, I'm sorry Justin Wow You want to say it one more time, please check out the balls on this guy. He's tilting it windmills Yes, Justin donky scroty. There it is. Yes. I'll stop it Well done. Okay, it's one and one one and one. Okay a

Famous detective is on the case when a man on a train shits himself to death huh Say it one more time a famous detective is on the case when a man on a train Shits himself to death a piece of that just the tip just got me. Oh, yes, Justin Is it sharder on the oriental? Oh, no, so close. Is it squirter on the morning? No, no, you're both wrong It's turd or on the organic stress This with the with the question that's like on jeopardy when they fuck up the answer and it's okay Sharder doesn't rhyme with a murder and squirter doesn't necessarily

refer to I don't want to get I don't want to I don't this one. I just go on It makes me mad at one and one this is our first It is already so fucking rotten that when the execution is off. Yeah, well, no Hey, no, just cuz you got the question wrong griffin Don't you turn that shit around on me and make don't make this like it's trousers problem Yeah, you said don't key hoady when I clearly said balls in the in the clue You're right and as we all know don't refers pretty much mostly to the shaft

I have a diagram prepared look over here guys. Thank you So just cuz you got it wrong griffin doesn't mean the games I will say if you if someone's ball like old balls popped out of their pants You wouldn't point at the old balls and be like look at that Tom Because that's they're referring to it, you know at the most sort of liberal interpretation the whole kit Right and the caboodle may not just maybe Okay Okay, next

Next bit next. Oh, are you next bit? I thought Travis had another no, I only did three Somebody is going around my apartment complex and stealing all the catalytic converters. How do I protect mine? That's from catalytic chaos in Kentucky came to the right place. It's a problem. Do you want to go ahead? Do your usual thing choose? Just the thing you usually say that it helps these kinds of situations Well, okay. Yes. Yes. Well, I don't know in this case I don't know if putting jelly on it's gonna be a good fix for you. It may catalyze the jelly

They get extremely hot the catalytic converters. Yeah, could you glue it in? Problem, it's yeah, what's keeping it in there anyway. Yeah, it's not really in there good I will say so I've owned a car or two of my day. It's easy to take stuff out of there It's a lot harder to put it back in I found because sometimes I'll take something out and then back Well, where the fuck does that even go because frankly a lot of it is all kind of the same color I've also noticed that and so like if we could color code more of that stuff that would be great That would make it easier for thieves for sure. Yeah, you're not helping you're making it hard. No Oh, but then you paint your catalytic converter a different color. It'll burn the it'll burn the paint on the paint catalyze

Extremely, they get so fucking hot dude. And this can I say about this problem? Yeah, we actually need to solve it pretty quickly because this problem is only going to get worse The with the catalytic converter issue with everything going on. This is just getting it worse So we need to ask when the robot car they love eating. Oh, it's the catalytic reverse got we got Palladium is one of the precious metals that it uses. Yeah And that's like the favorite food robots. No, it's like robots eat palladium I think so too. I think robots do eat palladium. They get stronger if you put jelly on it. Jelly a fucking burn right off No, nothing fix car

They car Travis. Let me tell you bait car this catalytic converter. It's rigged to blow not for well That's now we're talking about killing people because they steal a car part for money. How many catalytic converters? Let me ask you guys. I just want to just say a number don't think about it How many catalytic converters would someone have to steal before? Exploding them with a big car would be the appropriate Proportional none is Travis you're asking at what point is Murderer okay. No, no, that's not what I said. I said blowing them up like what you're it sounds like what you're saying is that exclusive Blowing up doesn't have to be murder

Like the guy who makes the bait Amazon packages that people steal and then it like farts and like you hear like fucking billing vol come out of a speaker like Here's your sign and you're like, yeah, get those fucking people get those the yeah, maybe like a permanent ink Situation you owe your move the catalytic converter. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah, you do purple face I don't enjoy I guess like capital punishment, which is what you're seemed to be like a huge fan of I'm trying to outstrain them with ink Griffin though that is I don't know if it's cruel, but it is unusual I don't think it's cruel or unusual punishment though

So I would say that you know how like it like really fancy stock cars or whatever Like who there's people who will just like pop the steering wheel out making the steering wheel What if you just could do that with your catalytic converter like you just slide on under there and you like push in on it Really hard and it pops and it pops out and you can take it with you to work What about one of those you know in like the 90s where they had those like Diaries where you had to like voice-activate it for kids so that your sneaky little brother couldn't get in there And you had to be like dreamboat in order to like open the thing. Maybe you put a voice-activate What I have no idea you don't remember that

That was like always activated diary. It wasn't a voice-activated diary how lock on it have voice-activated lock on it Yes, that's true. Yes, and you would say like you would say the code word So your sneaky little brother that creep couldn't get in there and read as you were writing about all the people you had crushes on You know, I bet that on your car. I bet I could have cracked your fucking code Travisie. I was duck tails But I mean that was walked up to it and just been like Zamf Zina and then it would have just popped right over revealed all your fucking secrets to me. It was actually Zina Ben zam Apologize. Yeah, thank you Okay, Justin. Are you reading about what catalytic converter still no, I know what they do now

No, I knew before that. Oh did you I was talking about it before the pause Travis Uh-huh cuz you looked it up cuz you looked it up. No, I know because mmm. Okay, doesn't matter That's not funny for me to talk about that. I know this. Hmm. It's not funny You can get a lot for them there if you don't want to be funny Travis there. You can get a lock for it Yeah, we're trying. I thought you said you could get a lot for him and we were gonna talk about like the price You can't get a lot for it. Actually, how much you think wait, okay? Listen, how much you think you give her Carolic converter? Listen, you know, I know that it's kind of like to gesture a place. Oh, yeah, really less than that So I could probably get like a thousand. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey. Yeah

Hold on a second What if you stole your own catalytic? Oh, they'd never see that coming Hey, then the thief comes along like well fuck somebody already hit this one. Listen, it's not comforting for him to be like What one car cruising around put that bad? Not bad air gravy out. Yeah, it's pure purified by the catalytic converter. Like it's not that big Just one. Yeah, just like a drop in the bucket Do you what that is like cranking out that fog gravy constant? Yeah, that kid in my dorm floor day whenever we wanted to smoke weed just put like a

Put a dryer sheet over your tailpipe You know basically the same thing it's gonna blow some clean cool clean linen smell through there You're fine. I had a friend who called that a wookie tube I don't know if that was you But you would take a paper like a paper towel roll like the cardboard part of it and you would stuff it with dryer sheets Uh-huh, you would rip the bong and then you would put your mouth on that tube And you would breathe out into it and because maybe it's just because he did call it a wookie tube But we would of course like when we breathed out just be like

And we would laugh and laugh and laugh because it was funny and it because it was funny and it was a different time So I wonder if you could do that into a catalytic converter what would come out the other side of it Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe there's somebody stealing your catalytic converter so they can blow their weed smoke through it without getting caught Yeah, think about that. Maybe they need it more than you Thank you. Yes. Here's another question. I recently received a very nice handwritten card from my grandma I actually received a very nice handwritten card from their grandma to you. So they're Oh, she's a grandma loves us too. Thanks for what? Thanks for the good time I yeah, we went and saw a death on the Nile together

We had a great time teasing. I'd love to get out there for that. Oh, yeah, me too She said she was going through some old family pictures and sending them did I mention the baby pictures? Or did you guys start doing your bits before I said I don't know there were baby pictures inside the card? She said she was going through some old family pictures and sending them to the families of who was in the picture Meaning I should have received old pictures of myself. However, these pictures aren't of me. I asked my mom She has no idea who is actually in those pictures, but it sure isn't me brothers What do I do with these pictures? Do I send them back to her and correct her? Yeah? Yeah, that'd be good Right

Kick of the door your house is rubbing in her face wrong wrong Hey, dude You blew it Blue it do it wrong now eat them eat the pictures grandma wrong Do I send them back obviously not or just should I just try to track down who is in these pictures or is it a lost cause? I mean cool. There's no reason. Why are these like pictures chained to their physical form? It's time to set them free. Yeah, get them up on on on the internet Just be like they don't put them on Facebook though. That'll be too easy

Yeah, you need to put them on like ancestry.com or something just be like hey got some new pics New pics who this what do you think ancestry.com does because they do not they definitely don't have You know how they cross specialist Recognition baby. No, I'm saying you put them up on the family tree But just put them on like the miscellaneous branch and let people come come and claim them It's like a little squirrel on the family tree is this weird, baby I'm more like a What more like

Yeah, hey my family tree's got a few nuts on it Yeah Like testicles Listen, I've been listening to encyclopedia brown books with with Charlie. Yeah school. Yeah wake up her mind Yeah, it's a mystery and the burns in that book that bugs me those are so fucking red I cannot even process how bad this is at what like the one we listen to this morning bug Encyclopedia, but what bugs do what bugs do listen. Okay, trying to but bugs is like if secondary bands like Hey, I know you ate these kids cherries and I give them back or give them some money for them and bugs is like

You better stay away from a candy factory because they're looking for nuts like you Killed it Dude, we don't say shit like that. Hey, pick up your face in psychopedia. He just melted it right off to punching Yes, stick to punching because you could really hurt somebody's feelings by Man, I'm like Encyclopedia Brown is so lucky that Sally's around. Yeah, or cuz fucking bugs would just murder him walk all over him Yeah, I I came up with a great idea to do an adult encyclopedia Brown Then I realized that John Hodgman they've reasted that with their hit series dick town

Yeah, well also the the Adam Brody movie boy detective and also brick. Yeah, I think about it Yeah, and Sherlock Holmes Did you guys know that house is an adaptation of Sherlock Holmes fuck man? Thank you. Let's talk about it because we don't have can I do something else more and that dude from dead poet society is his Watson I'm gonna can I do something I want to cut it up. It's like Fully fully honest transparency listen listen Griffin. He's about to many never watch fully fully transparent No, it's not that I haven't watched it. It's I really have I have so I don't have any interest in talking about this subject

And I was wondering if I could be If you guys are about to go on a run and sometimes I feel that energy building I was wondering if I could be may I please be excused from the Everyone gets one you want to use yours now Griffin. We should get a monthly a monthly get out a bit free cart You guys are about to talk about how house is like Sherlock Holmes House is an adaptation of Sherlock Holmes I felt my bladder go. Well, you just peed right before recording, but maybe you could use me to get away from here Use me Griffin to get away from here

Oh, it's Wilson instead of Watts. Yeah. Oh, that's how they get that's how they try to get around the yeah non-existent They don't like that the Sherlock Holmes estate I'm Doug Holmes and I heard that you were making a thing about my great-great-granddaddy Got himself is entered into the public domain, but many of the stories and elements Oh But they're they're intense about it, they're like don't make Sherlock nice. He's a weird dick You got to make him a butthole. No, they're again that the character is in the public domain So you could do it could be like Sherlock Holmes in the mystery of the perfect Beach body

Like there's no roles there. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wait, really? We could do like a my brother my brother me presents Sherlock Holmes day about town And it's just like I mean babies day out, but Sherlock Holmes Well in Taz we absolutely did like a Sherlock Holmes episode. We called it that remember. Oh, yeah Yeah, everything old is new again as they say You guys want to get paid? Yeah, let's I guess follow me. Where are we going to the money zone? Oh, it's just it kind of felt like I was setting it up and then you kind of stepped in front of me I thought you were setting me up to let's go together

Okay, take my hand Now there's three sets of footprints on the beach Square space What more needs to be said nothing next ad well there is copy we do we do need to say I've been using square. I've been using square space. Okay for first Sidney's a campaign website McElroy for WV.com if you go there you can see a square space website that I've built with the help of my friend Michael He helped me sort of get it set up and then I'm doing like updates It's so easy to make big changes little changes just changes in the government

Wow, thank you. That's beautiful Travis. That's really good. You know, it's not just you can use that to juice Yeah, it's not just political campaign Do you want to use that of like Sidney McElroy will do for government what I do on a square space website? No, I don't think I'll use it, but I will use customizable galleries display images and videos in unique ways I'll use it to sell products on an online store And every square is selling and what are you selling? What are you selling? T-shirts Look at it. I've got all the size, but I'm running out of larges. It's a very popular

They're made to order on things. You'll get it in three weeks. They're so soft I'm wearing one now and you had no idea assuming there's not supply chain issues It's really it's I'm saying it's really easy to do you don't need to know internet at all You just like just go for it. Let your heart go free Even if you don't have like a design background the elements that they have that you can pull in are like already sort of design and look good together It's it's it's really fun and easy to use head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of A website or domain Griffin. What's on your feet right now?

list of everything Just lots of open source. Oh boy close those up Yeah, okay travel. Let me just close them up because I'm Wolverine with a new healing factor Okay, are you done? Yeah, actually, okay great. Thanks for giving me that time that I needed to fix my shit Well Griffin, maybe you wouldn't have so many open source on your feet if you would put on some Bombas socks You see Griffin Bombas's mission is simple Griffin make the most comfortable clothes ever

Griffin and match every item sold with an equal item donated So Griffin when you buy Bombas you are also giving to someone in need Because Griffin everything they make is soft Griffin seamless Griffin and tagless Griffin and it has a luxury Griffin cozy feel I do like Bombas socks for real I feel like sometimes we have too much fun with the ads and People don't realize that I actually I do like these socks quite a bit. They're very comfortable Yeah, sometimes people miss that it's a joke that Griffin didn't wear socks so much that he got open source I do where I do wear socks cuz I got I have I gotta have my Bombas. That's what I say

That's what I like to say Yeah, Rachel Rachel actually contacted us and said that you say that at inappropriate times She asked us to talk to you about it like kid the kids wake up in the middle of the night I'm like daddy. I'm so scared and I'm like gotta have my Bombas. Yeah That she said that there was a parent teacher conference where the teachers said like any questions and you just yelled gotta have my Bombas Yeah, and then come up the phone. Yeah, that did do that Well, I understand why because they're made from super soft materials like marina wool pima cotton and even Kashmir

Which makes them the perfect cozy later? And wait, what did you guys sing? No, Justin got me the immigrants long. Yeah, you guys did definitely do immigrants long But it was just Justin did it first Thank you Godzilla soundtrack and puffy that come with me Okay, Bombas underwear has a barely there feel with second skin support that might make you forget They're even there in a good way and Bombas knows the shelters for people experiencing homelessness The highest requested items are socks and underpants

So for every item you buy an equal item is donated so you could feel good and Feel good about it. Oh So go to bombas.com slash my brother and get 20% off your first purchase. That's BOM BAS.com slash my brother for 20% off bombas.com slash my brother Are you ready to binge watch something Old the greatest generation is a podcast about Star Trek by a couple of hosts a little bit embarrassed to even have a Star Trek podcast Hosted by me Ben Harrison and me Adam Pranica We get into the critical the technical the science fictional aspects of the show we love

While roasting it and each other at the same time We've completed an entire series about Star Trek the next generation and another one about Star Trek Deep Space 9 And we've just begun Star Trek Voyager So now is a great time to start watching a new Star Trek series with us So subscribe to the greatest generation on Maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcast and become a friend of DeSoto today How about another question? Yeah. Yeah, I mean do you not have a thing? Okay, well then how about we go to the wizard instead? I'd love that. Thank you. Hi wizard Oh

No, what happened? I'm a wizard, but never heard my voice before okay I'm like sort of a big dog man. I Love that. Yeah, you didn't know he was a big dog man in the sky. I love it Thank you. This one has an author which fucks me up. Oh boy. Someone put their name on it Yeah, it's co-authored by John Keegan and Ali Ruskiano. So good great work y'all Way to own it So if you have issues with this one, you know who to hit up It's this one is how to respond to a how was your day text?

Thank you. Jesus. Yes. It's actually 14 easy ways to do it And I thought we could go through them pretty quick and just kind of rank them by like Would you ever actually say these things or not? And this is this specifically text and not just like walking by someone like in a hallway or something Yeah, it's nearing the end of the day Travis and your phone dings and uh, how was your day text tears back at you? Maybe it's from your best friend parent or even your crush. They just want to check in but how do you respond if it's your crush? I'm over the moon. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I'm unprompted. How was your day for my crush? Forget it. Now my day is amazing. Like are you kidding me?

I would guess that the answer would be sort of context sensitive depending on if you got it from your parent Or your crush because I'm gonna say to them. Well, I've got a great boner now, but to one of them. Yeah Well, I got a great boner now dad. It's so I'm proud of you. So you've done it now. You're the dad you've overcome our family's curse You Finally carried one of the other family up a mountain and ate the stinky vegetables and now you can have the bonus It's it's true noodle limping to the second. I've never been more proud of you than I am today So we're going to start calling you rock hard

All right, number one, it's been great. How about you share how awesome your days been with this text There's no shame in having a great day. Let them know how amazing you feel fucking great I great. I forgot that it's okay to do because it's been so bad. Right. Yeah. Well, but I would go the other way Which is like is a little braggadocious. Does this be like fucking awesome the odds of two people communicating with each other having a Right now. No, but he reaches out to somebody else because they're having a good time An age if if you say That it is good in any way and do not follow that up with all things considered. You're fucking a liar. Yeah, yeah Okay, chilled at home. So not too bad. Sorry. What chilled at home. Chill that chilled at home chilled chilled makes more

Different yeah killed chilled at home. So not too bad. Tell them what you've been up to with this reply Even if all you did today was chill out on the couch fill them in with the deets Still standing. Yeah Okay. Oh, thank you for your honesty Travis. I appreciate why I go to the gym for my exercise Justin This is the my time for work. I know what but when I work I stand up. Well when I work hard I play Travis. Yeah, hey Travis if you got time to lean you got time to clean I'm not learning this Okay, if you get time to sit then you got time to clean shit

Here take this Windex and go clean water from tuna's comedy I'm gonna start managing. I'm an older brother. I'm gonna start managing this show better Okay, I'm gonna do what I always do at jobs which is go around the corner and then stop and that energy juice I think we all know from the retail jobs we've worked is the most effective way to get somebody to be Effective and makes for a fun experience that everyone enjoys Fun experience. I had to learn to podcast just so I would never be in that situation Once once my manager Jimmy John's made me shave in the Jimmy John's bathroom with a rusty razor and lukewarm water I said try to get into podcasting. I think

Hey, listen, I love my elephants This is gone too far. All right The I'm taking these pickles with you. The only thing I want to go from now on is eggs I Don't think they put poached eggs on Jimmy John say no That's why I had to quit that's why I had to quit cuz I tried to put poached eggs and Jimmy said we only poached elephants Right. Yes, that's what's our new sandwich the fruity little woods I've got poached eggs on it. He says it's good for protein. I just like elephant steaks

The trunk is so subtle. You don't even know man. Okay, really good really good. Thanks for asking Really good. No, that's sarcastic Really good. Thanks. Thanks for asking That's okay. Really good. We're really glad you glad you made me think about it similar vein good How was yours good? No, there's a lot of use of smiling and laughing emojis and a lot of like communicate that can't wait for finals To be over haha good. How was yours by the way is so clear one? I'm either gonna read that as a lie Yeah, or I'm going to read it as oh fuck. They're really annoyed. I asked yeah, good

How was yours right like you you responded with as few not just words but letters as possible Yeah, if you guys ever get this text back from me It means I have been killed and the killer is using my phone to create a alibi Pretty good. You won't believe what happened if I ever say that to you without saying Like you know someone stole my catalytic converter I don't know why I would say that's a pretty good day But if I say you won't believe what happened to me today guys and I know how you guys are anxious in a way that you are And I am and we all are yeah

That's not me saying that that is my that is you know my neighbor or you know most murders are done by people That's like you griffin macro. I would know never to test us like do you have a second to talk? Do you guys got yeah got an important conversation? You're not gonna like and then not respond to our Forever, okay, okay. What about you? So just a lot of just like Here's the quality of my day and now I'm gonna hit you up This this article feels like different ways that of different days you could be here. Yeah, is there an option on there? It's like fucking suck Yeah, try these I don't know if you've noticed there's a pattern. These are decreasing

Excellent is there one on there that's like hey this feels superficial Do you really want to get into it man? Cuz I'll open up my heart to you, bro. No, but there is the the the raw Powerful on we of same old same old. How was yours? Oh, yes? Big big case of the Mondays Brock, how about you? I think actually I'm gonna say That if you ask someone how is their day? I would rather hear someone say fucking sucked than Same old same old same because there's a certain amount of acceptance and same old same old

It's like whoa, okay. Hey, man, bad, but in a way. I'm used to Let's get out of here and try something and let's go horseback. Great. Yeah Okay, so the next one is awesome fine Give this reply if you don't want to talk Yeah, your ex or a friend you recently had a falling out with texted you oh one word response is a blunt way of saying I don't want to talk right now No, you know, it's an even blunter way. Don't respond. Don't want to talk to you right now Not so great

If it's your mom or best friend open up and tell the truth. Not so great. Let me confide in you. Is this mom Hey, hey It's okay, it's been better this next one is for horny. It was okay seeing you would have made it better. Oh Real smooth I mean like seeing all of you would watch out here. There's a new Serino in town. Yeah. Oh, hey They should make a modern like remake a Serino where it's just about like Like sexy texties I'm pretty sure that's in Roxanne. I think he's just constantly

Texas in Roxanne. Yeah, he's just sexting constantly guys sexy texies is some that there's something powerful about not saying the second T in the word text Sexy texies. This is a great reply for someone you haven't seen in a while Maybe you haven't seen there, but in a while to be fair that is a good point though. So that doesn't work if you did see Seeing you would have I just left the arc of this article is so great because it's like At the top of it. It's like brag about how cool your life is and how shitty their life is all the way down to like Cry for help because you are so sad about the Non-changing nature of your life and how you feel like you're stuck in a sort of existential quagmire

And then it's like get a little horny and the next one is any day is great when you text me get that Get out now. Let's go. I was sad before but I changed it with a different feeling That's the one I text back when I get them from Bernie Sanders definitely real Bernie Sanders, Bernie burn burn You want to see the Batman or what? burn We're still on for tonight All right, all right, we'll see murder on the Nile. Gee

Feeling better now. I love having old friends Yeah, we can go to the 5 p.m. Show we'll go 5 p.m. And you get the bag That was great. My dude that works for me. Hey, bring those mittens. I ordered from your shop Yeah, we can see me getting candy Bernie. It has gotten too expensive lately. Yeah, sorry. They don't have Mary James I bet we can see get some bit of honey. Well good. I'll see it's a bit of honey See you you'll burn you'll you'll you'll sneak down bug Oh, you scoundrel those good and plenty Careful that box is real. I oh you put them in a ziplock bag. That's gonna fix that right up

You're right. All right, this movie would be better with Marlene a detrick Having a lot of fun. We're all having a lot of fun here Mr.. Sanders is expense, but feeling better. Well, he should stop texting Feel that's all feeling better now. Thanks for checking in that one's not funny This next one is pretty good though a mess, but we live and learn whoa Whoa, that's like door. It's somebody murdered somebody. Yeah, that's like growth. We live and learn I murdered If you describe your day as a mess you yeah should be right up on charge I'm betting vehicular manslaughter is my guess. It's on with a car won't do that again. Oh live and learn

Wait, you know what killed someone with a big fast automobile didn't like it won't do it again Do not recommend would love to see you though would have been better if I hit you with my dick wait Hold on no jump back I was happy and then I was sad then I got horny then I hit someone with my car And now I'm just sort of focusing on me in my journey Yeah, it turns out maybe even earlier now this is the last one and it's like This one you should actually expect to get for me at some point you say Griffin. How was your day? Very productive

Very very productive eventful the team made lots of progress and I'll make sure to have that data to you by midnight Is that a e-how person pretend like trying to figure out how jobs well good and the meeting went well I think our proposal has a shot smiley face this that one feels fairly Yeah, can't wait to work more Can't wait to work more love work. Love doing it. I would love to see you that butthole Sorry, I thought you were my boss Whoops Did I knew he was there somewhere?

I was trying to reply and keep up the vibe. Yeah, man for sure I Welcome to my squad its podcast within a podcast profiling the latest and greatest in brand-eating and Me just a macro and I'm ready to get loud and wild With not and do oh boy Mountain Dew is gonna throw sports fans at Buffalo Wild Wings with an exclusive new poor Mountain Dew legend. Yeah. Oh shit new offering delivers a bold burst of blackberry flavor that is wait for it. Oh Legend that's not how you do it

Yeah, they messed up that great how I met your mother That's not how you do it you messed up the how I met your mother reference PepsiCo So my Mountain Dew and Mountain Buffalo Wild Wings are bringing sports fans a reason to celebrate finally by recruiting an all-new Exclusive don't say recruiting. I know what you're going for trying to make a sport thing But it makes it sound like on the street you saw a Soda and said give me that kid. Hey soda. Yeah, you you ever dreamed about being in the big leagues The so this let this soda soon to be legendary. It says Even though they're only offering it exclusive Buffalo Wild Wings

I guess they're leaving the legend suburb to expand on it. Yeah, you don't want to simmer You don't want to come out the gate too strong and shove the legend down people's throats by saying this is a legend Right, they should have called it Mountain Dew and then let it Let it be its own thing this this sentence this sentence is like maybe one of the worst ones ever There's not There's not a sentence after that like this sentence. I'm about to read is one of the worst ones. Okay Curated for those who embrace the fun and freedom in life this standout, but that's already That's that's me. I love fun and freedom

Do you mean made from a syrup and no Justin? No every bottle is made by a professional mixologist in Suspenders and out this standout beverage combines the exhilarating taste of original Mountain Original Mountain Dew Mtn capital DE value a mountain yeah with notes of Blackberry Citrus and Ginger mm-hmm, okay with its bold charge and refreshing taste Mountain Dew legend is uniquely designed to elevate Buffalo Wild Wings sauces Burgers and other bar food now you can't just make that blanket statement. There's so many different They have they have a lot of elevate all food offering. There's so many

sauces and dry rub it pairs perfectly with Frickles, you can't tell me it's great for like the garlic zing and the fucking Cajun dry rub Not the flavor Travis. It's that it pairs well with the bones The Mountain Dew pairs go with the bones. Just pop your bones in there when you're done It'll dissolve them all up make a broth this this makes the fan favorite sports bars the best place for sports Enthusiasts to enjoy great food and drinks me all while watching their favorite matchups on the big screen Yeah, that is what sports people they still offer trivia They still do that if they do any want to do the trivia game. That's my favorite story

We used to have a very small BWT. Oh, yeah shoebox. Now. We have a very big one. Oh, yeah, it's weird Yeah, at the mall anyway at Buffalo Wild Wings. We strive to provide our guest with mouth water It's just a choice. You do not know that that is what their voice sounds like. Yes. I do. What's the name? Rita Patel It's possible. Okay Anything she might sound like an old-time oil magnate for sure. I don't know much about no Buffalo Wild Wings. What I do is tea This is the only stage for character work. You're right. It's this and playing dolls with my kids

Okay, now I might be a simple brand ambassador from a big company like Coca-Cola co, but what I know I Know bone flavor and this goes with bone dip them in there eat the bones. What's that? I can't tell them to eat the bone. Rita Patel Rita Patel is the chief marketing officer The CMO Do you think you get in trouble if you call your CMO, Cummo? Yes, I do Justin. Probably. Yes, I do think you'd get in trouble. That was the weakest, Cummo. I think immediately the HR representative would appear

Did you just say the word Cummo? It's not on our list of words But it is What is it to you? Sorry, it's HR human research Explained so much. Yeah Mountain Dew legend. Okay at Buffalo Wild Wings We provide our guests with mouthwater and flavors and exciting innovations across our menu said Rita Patel Chief marketing office. If that's true Rita, why did you get rid of the big pretzel and replace it with smaller pretzels?

That aren't as good. Thank you Mountain Dew is a legend is a unique drink that we're proud to serve Exclusively at our sports bars that we have we have a long-standing relationship with PepsiCo and We are known for bringing fans unexpected bold flavors like the Doritos spicy sweet chili flavored sauce What I didn't know about this. I gotta go the Doritos spicy sweet chili flavored sauce We're thrilled to continue our collaboration for one-of-a-kind menu offerings In case you're curious about Pepsi's side of it Scott Finlow the Cummo Buffalo Wild Wings sounds like this Buffalo Wild Wings and Mountain Dew both know a thing or two about passionate fan bases

How to take celebrations to the next level with great tasting food and beverages Together our goal is to elevate the sports viewing and dining experience with Mountain Dew legend serving as The ultimate wingman All right, that's good Scott. Good job Scott. That's good. Yeah, you did all right with that one Scott It'll be available at all 1200 Buffalo Wild Wings locations by May 2022 apparently the pipeline is still being constructed So so that's a thrill and it's something to get excited about Mountain Dew legend coming

To you can't fucking wait. Thank you. Me neither. Hey, thanks for listening to my brother my brother and me We hope you had fun I know that we did and I hope you're hanging in there and doing well and we always appreciate you spending an hour with us So thank you for that Sincerely we have some information about the 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight tour so due to a scheduling conflict We had to reschedule the fancy takes flight tour dates that were originally set for this month in Washington, DC Detroit and Cincinnati They'll now take place in November

So the sincey mb mb am will be November 10th the Detroit mb mb am will be November 11th The DC mb mb am will be November 12th and the DC Taz show will be November 13th All existing tickets will be honored for the rescheduled show Refunds will be available at point of purchase for those unable to attend the new dates. We know it sucks We didn't want to do it. We had to and we're looking forward to seeing you later in the year Tickets for these shows are on sale now at bit.ly slash Macaroy tours you can also see all the other stops like st. Louis Kansas City of Minneapolis Boston, Washington Tuckett Salt Lake City, Portland, San Diego, and then those DC Detroit and

Cincinnati shows also were doing a virtual Taz in May and at those shows mask and proof of full Vaccination or negative COVID tests within 72 hours of event start are required Dad wrote a kid's book called Goldie's guide to grandchilding comes out May 10th You can pre-order now at link tree, which is L-I-N-K-T-R dot ee slash Goldie's guide Go check out all of the cool merch. It's so cool over at macroemerge calm We got the mystery pen of the month, which is going to be a random pen of the month from the past which benefits the National Asian Pacific American women's forum

We've got candle nights 2021 special video on demand You can pay what you want and all proceeds go to Harmony house. You can check that out a macroemerge calm Also, I'm going to be hosting a live virtual show to benefit two great efforts here in Cincinnati One is called Bethany house, which is a shelter that focuses on families that are experiencing homelessness Or at risk of experiencing homelessness And also we're gonna stock some free fridges here in Cincinnati and right across the river in Kentucky with masks and COVID tests And we're gonna have some amazing guests. We had to reschedule, but we're rescheduling for April 1st Our guests are going to be let's see. We got Adam Brody got Rob Cordray got Montaigne

We got Christina Arielle and then there will be two more guests that we haven't locked down yet But it's very exciting get those tickets at sincey ticket dot com slash cuss cares that's c-i-n C-y ticket dot com slash c-u-s-s C-a-r-e-s that show is going to be April 1st at 9 p.m. Eastern time That's it. Thank you for listening So I might as show up and you'd be like no show April Fools. No I would never do that and it will be available for two weeks a video on demand No, well, it's a April Fools joke. No, it's don't say that. Please. Please it benefits really good organizations grew fun

Yeah, sure it does fake show joke fake joke show Thanks to Montaigne for these for a theme song my life is better with you It's a great track and the music videos on YouTube if you haven't seen that it's a lot of fun. We're in it. We're in it We did it. Oh final bit. I liked doing an a impression last week I felt like cuz I got an email from The Saturday Night Live guy. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, and I don't remember his name Yeah, but that's okay. Like he said it's okay if I don't remember his name, but he was like great voices

What else you got kid? So just like I guess give me somebody else like a hot like like a name that's like in the news right now Okay, who's like a cool? Who's like a cool impression that Griffin could do Griffin. Could you do Pete Davidson? Oh Wait, Justin, were you about to do it? You were about to get a hand. I was like, oh, that's always sounded like you were about to Like, well, let me see what I can do. No, I don't have a beat. Good. Let's hear you beat. Oh All right, who care check it out guys I

Just trying to We're all having trouble We're all having trouble aren't we Kim Classic Really excellent people think I people think my wiener is big because of the way I am I Adjusted I'm Griffin. This has been my brother my brother may kiss your dad square on the lips It's better it's better

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