My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 711: Notice Me, Jerry Senpai

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Sounds like the woke left is once again out here ruining comedy, and we’re part of the problem! We just don’t care about sitcoms like Ever-Sheldon, or Ur-Sheldon, or even Un-Sheldon. We’re too busy helping our friends reclaim their scent-based cults and getting into surprisingly heated debates about what makes the perfect walking stick. Suggested talking points: Bury Me on the Big Bang Theory Set, Eggs in a Library, Woke Left Took My Knife Away, Wiccan How, Ringo and RangoWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like Life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Really, Ada, you ate on that one, King. I'm Griffin McElroy. Thank you. I've been having a lot of allergy issues and I was trying not to cough in the middle of my intro. I think those allergy issues are making you eat, King, the way you talk and the way that you like to put emphasis on words.

I love to eat, Kings. I eat the rich for breakfast. I'm the young Griffin McElroy. And I already introduced myself, but I am so proud to be part of the woke left that is ruining comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did it. Hey guys, did you see that Jerry Seinfeld? Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You guys seen this thing about Jerry's? Yeah, Griffin, it's meta commentary.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't realize it was meta, Justin. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, okay. So Mr. Seinfeld said that- Incredibly topical, hip, with it, comedian, finger on the pulse of the nation, Jerry Seinfeld.

Thank you for your gifts, Mr. Seinfeld. Popular, beloved 70-year-old man, Jerry Seinfeld. Thank you for your gifts Mr. Seinfeld. Popular beloved, beloved 70 year old man Jerry Seinfeld. This is the quote that everybody's been so excited about. In an interview with the New Yorker, nothing really affects comedy. People always need it. I'm with you. They need it so badly.

And they don't get it. It used to be you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, oh, Cheers is on. Oh, Mash is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All the family is on. You just expected there'll be some funny stuff we could watch on TV tonight. Well guess what?

Where is it? This is the result of the extreme love and PC crap and people worrying so much about offending other people. This man, this man, okay, this man, I know, does transcendental meditation two times a day for 20 minutes. And at the end of one of those, he was like, all right, I am a complete piece of universe.

I'm in those deep ocean thoughts. I'm an astronaut in the ocean right now. I came back up and it turned out that the woke PC is ruining comedy. Nothing is on TV anymore? Well- Mr. Seinfeld, Brandon Lee Mulligan single-handedly is making enough content to keep an entire nation fed.

What more do you need, sir? We're out here making fucking eight shows a day, Jerry. This is, okay, there's so many wild, but I can't get over that all of his references for comedy on TV are like 60 years out of date. Not gut, not gut. I love Mary Tyler Moore Show as much as the next person. Not a gut buster necessarily, Jeremy.

But even then, like, this is a man who made a comedy show in the 90s and 2000s. You, Griffin, you need to actually be a little bit more careful. Yeah, put some respect to our name, please. Mary Tyler Moore is one of the all-time greats. Yeah, for sure. It's a fuckin' funny-ass show, too.

I'm sayin', it's a- Really, really funny. All-time greats, for sure, but there's funnier shit on TV now that makes me like like actually Does he not know that streaming services exist? I did is he talking about TV in the literal I'm assuming tube TV with the references he made exist trap because he's out there fucking Pushing the envelope on Netflix with a movie about how pop tarts were invented. Mmm. Nice fuck, dude Yeah, that's yeah with a movie about how Pop-Tarts were invented. Fuck, dude! Calm down, they're like, Bruce!

Yeah. Shit! And the woke left is out here like, Pop-Tarts, fuck off! The snowflakes are going crazy about this, they love Toaster Pansies. They've whipped up into a blizzard over here. The SJWs, the Strudel Justice Warriors. The SJWs are out here like,

no ma'am make it about strudel, not pop tarts. And they're so angry about it. I got the idea that the man who made the B movie thinks that the problem with comedy is that no one's out here really listening to that. Now just now you're the one who's on thin ice. Now you're the one walking on a razor's edge without realizing it.

Be very careful my friend. You are in a precarious. I'm just saying, if he thinks it's really so important Now you're the one walking on a razor's edge without realizing it. Be very careful, my friend. You are in a precarious- I'm just saying, if he thinks it's really so important to be really pushing everybody's- Transgressive, yeah. The job of the jester is to turn a mirror to the face of the king and say,

you're all bees and I'm a bee. And everybody wants to fuck the bee, be honest. And everybody wants to have sex with bees. Be honest. That's what you're afraid to hear. For what it's worth, I don't know that Jerry wrote the Bee movie. I'm pretty sure he just starred in it.

Oh, shit. I bet it's the kind of thing, Griffin, where nowadays, there's no way it's a him. when he shows up, you hand him some talking points for the script and you're like, Jerry, no one's more of a Bee man than you. Yeah. You, he shows up in B-Face,

which we have a lot of problems with, but they know that he's in the mind space to just freestyle all the lines. We can talk as much shit as we want. Obviously, the three of us are just trying to sort of, notice me, Senpai over here with Mr. Sign. Like, we're all begging. Jerry Senpai? We're all, Jerry Senpai, we've all been Seinfeld. We're all begging. Jerry Senpai?

We're all Jerry Senpai, we're just begging for those scraps. Notice us, recognize us, please. I don't want, I'd actually rather not Jerry Seinfeld. With your special credit cards, take me on a ride in one of your cool cards. I don't want Jerry Seinfeld to know who I am. I actually- That's actually a good point.

That would do way more fucking hard than good at this point. It would be so weird to know that Jerry Seinfeld knows who I am and might have an opinion on me. There's just no way. It's just, I'm just, it's so infuriating that if you believe this is what comedy should be doing, the problem is the woke left. Okay, Jerry, thank you.

No one has a bigger megaphone than you. If you wanna be pushing this, nobody's got a bigger megaphone. Here's your megaphone, Jerry. What are you gonna do with it? Okay, everybody step back. Jerry's gonna put us all on blast. I'm gonna drive around with my friends and get coffee.

Transgressive. Wow. Damn Jerry, slow down, dog. You used to get home from your job and Becker would be on TV waiting for you. And the woke laugh took Becker away from us. I mean, listen, guys. What the fuck are you talking about, man?

You guys can sit here and talk shit about Gerald Seinfeld's point. Name a comedy that's come out in the last 10 years. You can't do it. I mean, that's a out in the last 10 years. You can't do it. I mean, that's a good point, Travis. You can't, you can't. Well, now wait, they adapted the Twitter feed shit my dad said into a show starring William Shatner.

That's one. That's one, that's one. That was good. That's one, that's the one comedy. Man with a plan. There was. Okay, that's two. Anything Tim Allen.

I feel like Tim Allen. Hey, listen, Joel McHale I he's got a lot of bites at the Apple You should check Joel's IMDB. He may have more than fair share back there. That's true. That's true Okay, so okay, so that's some comedies Joel McHale's in there, but no one's making Comedies every morning like Jerry Seinfeld watched the last episode of Big Bang Theory and saluted and turned off his TV forever He was like, that's the last one Do you guys remember when we finished doing Dollars to fill with concrete. This is my tomb! I'll die here with comedy forever!

Bussiness! Do you guys remember when we made the MbemBem TV show and after we finished filming, the woke left came into the studio and was like, ah, sorry guys, this one's not gonna, we're gonna destroy Siso because of this. It's too powerful.

Too powerful, gotta get him. Can we have it? No, we're gonna sell it to a bunch of. To be fair, they did tell us a lot of the problem had to do with Jonah Ray's show. It wasn't, they were like, you guys are kind of transgressive, but he's got a fake travel show, we gotta shut that down. We gotta shut that down. Yeah.

We gotta shut that shit down. Yeah, they're so, so, so, The woke left is out here canceling young Sheldon, canceling big bang theory. Oh my God. Woke left. I was gonna do a character this week called ever Sheldon. And he's a Sheldon that escaped the bounds of linear time.

So he's neither old nor young, he's ever present. He just is, has, and always will be. I was thinking of Ur Sheldon, which I think he is like a stone tablet that has some of Sheldon's personality traits written on it. I know we've done this before, but I don't think I've ever pitched this young Sheldon. Okay, great, Trav.

The unsheldon. Ooh, that's cool too, Trav. Yeah. Fuck. If the unsheldon comes in contact with a Sheldon, it undoes them, right? It's like anti-matter, the unsheldon. I like that. Every Sheldon exists in defiance of the UnSheldon's will.

You know that as much fun as we have with this bit, I guarantee you some permutation of this conversation like, okay guys, Young Sheldon is ending. There has to be some other fucking Sheldon we could go around here. Yeah, they've been hanging that carrot, dangling that carrot over our snouts for some time now, huh? Yeah, Young Sheldon's gotta end soon.

You guys got any jokes? Just kidding, one more season. Thanks for the free advertising, idiots. I think that I can guarantee you, the last episode will end with a shot of him opening a button down and inside of it is his Flash logo t-shirt, his beloved Flash logo t-shirt. And finally the transformation is complete.

There is no gap. I'm afraid to make this prediction because I've learned I'm too powerful and I'll cover that in a second, but it's going to be given to him as a gift from Leonard. Leonard will give him the Flash t-shirt and that's the thing. Yes, don't know who that is.

I was enjoying Brother'stersgate episode one, available on the YouTube Macro Family channel now, because I like the content that we make. I think it's good and transgressive and the world's left is trying to stop it. This is kind of three different intros. Yeah, yeah, this is cool. This kicks ass.

We're giving a lot of money for your butt. And then the suggestive videos was a super cut of every time we've talked about Frasier on this show, and it was about 53 minutes long. No way. So almost an entire episode's worth of our 711 episodes. Hey Trav, next week, I think we should absolutely.

Just air that? Just air our Frasier. Oh my gosh. Best of Frasier discussions. But in it, we were talking about rebooting Frasier. And this was like four or five years ago. Yeah. And I talked about in this one,

now Frasier Crane has to go live with his son and he's the dad and we plump it all one down. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, I think that's what happened in it. One last thing, not to talk about Frasier more, but I'm gonna- Fourth intro? Yeah, I can't remember if I've talked about this.

This is 3B, I feel like. But this year's SketchFest, I did a show with an actor who had been on the Frasier reboot, and she talked about that the crew just was like, oh man, Kelsey Grammer just knows Frasier inside and out. And not just like the character, but like the universe of Frasier. And apparently the props department, the sad department, costume writers,

they'll run things by Kelsey Grammer and they'll just be like, that's Frasier. That's not Frasier. That's cool. He's like the Frasier Ombudsman. Yeah, he's like, that's not Frasier. I like that. Those wine glasses, that's not Frasier. I don't know if you've ever seen clips of Mr. Grammer

outside of his Seattle studio apartment. I've seen the one. Of him falling off the stage. This is very good. If you can find any clips of his short run standup career or any video of this man existing outside of the context of Frazier, I believe you will come to discover

that he's just kind of Frasier. I think the reason that Kelsey Grammer kicks so much ass at Frasier is, he's kind of Frasier, like he is kind of Frasier. He's Frasier. And I'm not even saying he's in like a deep, deep, who's that actor who always goes ham on that shit? Daniel Day-Lewis.

Daniel Day-Lewis shit. I'm saying that like, he found- Who's that actor, Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis shit. I'm saying that like he found- Who's that actor, who's that actor who always goes ham on that shit for a thousand points. Who's that actor that- I said it. Travis got it. Always goes ham on that shit.

And Travis is like, oh yeah, Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, I knew. The actor that always goes ham on that shit. Hey, Justin, fifth intro. Fifth intro. One time Griffin and I played, I think it's Scattergore, whichever one where you pass the thing back and forth and you have to name the thing.

Griffin and I are terrifyingly good at that. It's really, really quite weird to behold. Anyway, he's just kind of Frasier IRL is all that I'm saying. So- That's Frasier. That's Frasier to me. And now, and that's another, chuck this six minutes on the fucking pile of Frazier content.

Well, we gotta get to a full hour for monetization. Right. Young Frazier is another one they canceled. Woke Left, I think, I don't know if it's still running. Got us again. They got him. Let's get into it. Let's help people.

15 minutes, Jesus Christ. Let's do our frigging jobs for once. Let's go. I worked, Griff, what do you mean 15 minutes? Sometimes Griffin doesn't like the amount of content we make within the show. No, it's just, it surprises me sometimes how long we can run, how long a train we can run

on Frasier and Sheldon and- And Seinfeld. And Seinfeld. I guess they do provide. I work in a shared office in a library. Good job. My supervisor gets fresh eggs delivered here weekly from a local farm.

Yesterday the eggs appeared on her desk as usual, but she is out on maternity leave. Should I leave them on the desk for her return? Should I throw them out? Should I send them back the desk for her return? Should I throw them out? Should I send them back to the local farm? I don't want them to rot, and I wouldn't want them to go to waste. I don't know where she lives,

so I can't take them to her either. What exactly should I do? I don't like the fact that eggs are in a library. Huh. Hmm. That doesn't make- Be gone now. It's just not where they kinda go. Eggs is a farm thing or a restaurant thing,

but I don't go to the library- Fridge thing? A fridge thing, yeah, but the library has books and magazines and- Well, they're not, okay, you don't check the eggs out, Griffin, they're not setting up. No, I know that, I know that. Yeah, but like the idea that the eggs are there is like, it's weird.

I've never been in a library and thought, oh, I wonder if there's eggs in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it wouldn't have even occurred to me. Well, I would just assume no, because like it's not a farm or a restaurant. So like, what would the eggs be doing there? I was about to, I felt so strongly

when the question asked, I said, leave them on the desk. And then I thought, I actually am not 100% sure eggs need to be refrigerated. I mean, like all things, they will eventually return to the loam. But I do think that they can sit out on a counter for a while Let's let's not advise people on food handling as funny and as safe as that is Maybe we shouldn't be making those calls on we're all googling it. We might as well just look no

I think I don't I don't actually care what you do with your eggs Don't take them though. Don't throw them out though. That seems Unwashed eggs will last two weeks. On the counter? Now the if this is a weekly delivery You do need to solve this quickly It's gonna stack up. If the egg person comes back and the eggs are not there they will call the police Yeah, because they will assume you have been kidnapped because why didn't you get your eggs?

So you need to get the eggs out of there quickly. I would not leave the eggs lying around. Okay, but counterpoint, you do need either to alert the person who should be getting the eggs before you take them or definitely after you take them because I don't know how long, in America, maternity leave, not long enough, am I right? But if they come back and they're like,

there should be like nine weeks of eggs here or whatever. I think that it is a little, question asked her, I wanna talk through the options real quick. Should I leave them on her desk for a return? Should I throw them out? Should I send them back our desk for a return? Should I throw them out? Should I send them back to the local farm? I don't want them to rot.

I don't want them to go to waste. I don't know where he lives. There's one missing there. There's one missing there and it is, ask the person about the eggs. Maternity leave is not the phantom zone. You can indeed reach out to people who are on parental leave.

I will say this, it depends on how far out from the date of delivery we are at. Not egg delivery, but human being delivery. Eight hours after your child is born, someone's like, what do you mean, do these fucking eggs? Yeah, that's no good, that's no good. Yeah, just take them, make a little scrammy. They're eggs, they're not missing them. They don't give a shit about these eggs. They made a person, make a little scrammy. They're eggs, they're not missing them.

They don't give a shit about these eggs. They made a person. Go have a scrammy. Then again, farm fresh, hand delivered eggs. You're paying a premium. They care a lot about the eggs. I guarantee you this. They've thought about the eggs.

They've thought about the eggs. Since? They've thought about the eggs. Since the child has been born, they've thought like, oh my eggs. Now maybe not. Here's the thing though. The other side of it, oh, my eggs. Now maybe not. Here's the thing though. The other side of it, oh, it's fascinating.

I'm sitting there, right? I've just given birth to a beautiful child. And then I think about the eggs, maybe in the same breath, I don't know. Oh, now that that's off my mind, I can think about my eggs. What is the process I would, do I call a library supervisor to be like,

hey, sorry, my eggs are still being delivered to the library. Can you do something with those eggs? God, it sounds wrong, doesn't it? When you say that. It is also, okay, now there is also another possibility here is you're gonna have to go to your supervisor's supervisor to get this phone number if you don't already have it.

So you're gonna have to go to your boss's boss and you're gonna say, hey, I need Joan's phone number. And they're gonna say why? And you're gonna say, ah, fuck, I was afraid you would ask that. I need to, I have an egg question for Joan. Joan just gave birth to a child.

What if the supervisor says no eggs are coming in? What if you do this and you blow up Joan's whole spot? And then I'm like, yeah. That's what I'm saying. You go to your supervisor's supervisor. Joan gets what delivered where? Here? The library? This is a library!

This is not a farm or a restaurant. You mean books about eggs, right? Surely you mean books about eggs. Do you mean bookends? Maybe periodicals? Periodicals about eggs, Eggs Weekly or something? Oh, she gets delivered Eggs Weekly, the magazine. Surely you mean book eggs? Maybe periodicals? Book eggs? Periodicals about eggs, eggs weekly or something? Oh, she gets delivered eggs weekly, the magazine. Surely you mean-

Absolutely. Not the- She wouldn't get physical, maybe wooden eggs to decorate for children. Please tell me that's what you mean, Derek. I don't wanna have to fly her drone. She just had a baby. Food eggs then.

So is there a place outside she keeps them? In the library, inside. Wow. Huh. Huh. Under lock and key. Just sitting on her desk. Just sitting on her desk? Oh boy.

You've given me a lot to think about. Joan, I hope your baby's well. Don't bother coming back. I found out about the eggs, Joan. I know about the eggs. I told her about the eggs, Joan. Joan, I'm sorry I didn't know. I told her about the eggs, Joan. Joan, I'm sorry, I didn't know.

I didn't mean to ruin everything. Can I take you guys to the wizard's shack? Yeah, take me there, Captain. All right, hop on. Put me in a little papoose? Yeah, sure. You both are in papooses around me and- Two papooses, the papoos eye?

Two papooses and I've got my rocket. And we blast off to the wizard's house. I have a Pumplemooze papoose that I can't just love. Oh, I love that, I love that. That's so good. How to make a staff. Making a staff for use in the woods or for use in magical rituals can be a fun project.

Or both. Once you've found a stick that seems appropriate for your in magical rituals can be a fun project. Or both. Once you've found a stick that seems appropriate for your purpose, you can learn to carefully prepare it and tailor it to whatever you have in mind. Wanna have a helpful walking stick? Want to LARP with your friends? Wanna perform pagan rituals? We've got you covered with the various methods

in this article. This sucks. You know why it sucks? Because when you said how to make a staff, I realized there was a tiny, tiny little voice inside me. It's like, hell yeah. Let's make a staff. Oh, hey, hey, you should, hey, J-Man,

you know how to do with stuff. Why don't you make a fucking staff? Justin, here's what I will propose. I believe that within all of us, there is an inherent desire and understanding. How many times have you been, no matter what age, if you find yourself outside and you find a longish stick and you think, oh, this is the perfect person.

That's a staff. And I think it's not because there is a platonic perfect staff, Justin, but because there is a perfect staff for each individual person and they know it. They know it. But it's also, this is what's so great about a staff, it really does fill several gaps in the human psyche. So like anybody walking in the forest sees a big,

beautiful stick on the ground, they think, I would like that staff. Maybe it's for hiking support, Maybe it is for Bobcat weapon. Or maybe it's because you think you are Gandalf the Grey and you want to- Or Gandalfini. And you just wanna take the butt of the staff to your face here.

Maybe you got a little Tom Bombadil action where you're just like a wanderer through the forest. You feel like with this staff you'll really take time to. A lot of wanderings in this wonder. Yeah, that's gonna be one of the biggest types. You could also be, if you're me, and you're 10 years old, Donatello. Donatello.

Yeah, absolutely. There's so many reasons to pick up a big, cool looking stick in the woods. So that's why I think this is a powerful question. I think that's actually a Teddy Roosevelt quote, if I remember correctly. It's a biological impulse, is what you're saying. You're saying that like, there's something deep within me

it's like, ah yes, the most basic tool, the kick ass staff. I would go deeper just then and say not biological but rather metaphysical. I think our ancestors' spirits, the energy calls forward to us and goes, look at that fucking cool stick, man. You could really, you could take down a mastodon with that shit, grab it.

Yeah, that's it, you'll need that. Hey, we can make a pretty kick-ass mastodon spear out of that, huh? Oh, what's that? Yeah, grab that now. Shit. Talk to me in suspense, man. Method one, making a hiking slash survival staff. I will go through this section as quickly as is possible.

Yeah. Yeah. Collect dead wood of the appropriate height. Yeah, no shit. Green wood is too bendable to be effective as a walking or survival stick, so only collect dead wood to make for possible stats. They gotta stop saying survival stick.

Because I don't know. Like. What do you mean? Like what do they mean by a walking or survival stick? Well you're gonna walk with it, Justin, or you're gonna survive. You know what I mean? Now this one's important to do

and should be doable by basically anyone. Look for Hickory or Ash. Now, remind me, you guys are kind of wood guys, not necessarily woods guys, but if I'm walking around and I'm not finding it- Or guys made of wood, important note. I am a Zach Woods guy, though. Okay.

What a talent. If I'm walking around the woods and I'm not finding any. More guys made of wood, important note. Yes, I am a Zach Woods guy though. Okay. What a talent. If I'm walking around the woods and I'm not finding any hickory or ash, I should stop looking, right? Because that just means those trees maybe aren't in this particular forest. Yeah, that's the one problem with forest is that you do not have infinite trees to choose from.

Yeah. If you, for example, needed to harvest luscious coconut, for example, as part of your walking stick procedure, that would not be an option available to you here in West Virginia, for example. Other good wood for walking sticks includes- Is coconut an invasive species that we found out? Palm trees, are they invasive?

If I plant a coconut, what happens? Got some fucking invasive pears over here. They stink like shit. They're beautiful. Stinky pears? Yeah. Stinky invasive pears. Stupid. They stink like shit. They're beautiful. Yeah, they're stinky pears? Yeah. Stinky invasive pears? Stupid.

I bet there's a way to prepare those. Stupid invasive pears. Bradford pears, dumbass. Fucking Bradford pears are everywhere. Bradford pears are the least. All right. So. Planned a lot of them.

Oh, they're beautiful. They stink like shit. They're invasive. And they're covering the whole fucking town because these stupid ass. I bought a chainsaw so I can start taking out Bradford pears. I see them. I hope stupid deer eat stupid Bradford pears

and shit themselves to death. Yeah, I said it, I hate deer. Deer, I hate them. Holy shit Travis, that's a wild escalation. Deer have killed many of my trees and I hate them. I saw a great TikTok where they're like, here's how you properly prune a Bradford pear. And then they get a chainsaw and they just cut it

and they're drunk and they cut it up. Cause they suck. Fuck Bradford pear. And here. Oh perfect. Fucking invasive ass stinky beautiful tree. Travis I feel like- Here are just giant beautiful rats.

I hate them. Travis, you keep trying to rope Justin into a movement that is so- He's not coming with me. I know. No. Yeah, yeah. And also, yeah, sure. Okay, so remove bark and notches. Use a sharp pocket knife to whittle off the bark,

taking extra care to smooth out any tiny branch notches or uneven places. Yeah, again, like, we're all doing this. Is this why you guys are knife guys? So if you find a stick- Part of it. Yeah? It's not nothing.

I mean, I use knives to keep- I feel like people might think you're joking. I've seen you both whittle. Yeah. I mean, I'm not joking. I always have a knife. What are you talking about? Me, that's one thing that Jerry Seinfeld

and I have in common. We always have a pocket knife. He has a really fancy one, but it's, you know. I don't know about him though, doesn't I bet he doesn't use it. In his video is like 15th essentials like Carrie, he took great pleasure in informing us it was discontinued. Damn. Just like comedy.

Way to fly. Just like comedy has been discontinued. WokeLeft took my knife away. The WokeLeft TSA took my knife away by Jerry Seinfeld. It's just the least predictable pivot you could have possibly imagined. Fucking the guy that played Jay Peterman is on Fox News like you tell them Jerry Seinfeld,

you're finally on the winning team with me, Jay Peterman from Seinfeld and Rob Schneider. Anyway, the staff. I don't like this next step. I know we usually, I just wanted to say that out loud. Step four, seal with stain. No. If you want to give your staff a clean and durable finish,

stain it with a good wood finish or wiping stain. Just like, don't do that. Don't do that because the ultimate goal for any walking stick is when you reach the end of your life's journey, you plant it into the ground and you lay down and you gently die next to it and from it, it springs a beautiful tree. That won't happen.

Children's, children's, children. Yes, and then one day your DNA will have been preserved in the sap of that tree and aliens will be able to bring you back to life. That's real shit. But if you don't finish it, then you could get, it could move, it could rot. No.

Finish it could help protect the wood. Okay, Justin, but here's the thing. You're gonna be out there in the mud, tromping around, it's gonna warp. There's not a lot of things I believe in. Sticks hate being in soil. Oh, no wait, they become kick-ass trees when they do that. Here's my-

Actually, Griffin, when the sticks are on the ground, the next stop for them is dirt. They're going to become dirt. Hey, do you mean fucking nature's way, Justin? Yeah, dog, that's what I'm saying. I don't want nature, I don't want fucking nature to claim my staff. No, nature, okay, Justin,

you've never been so fucking wrong in your life. You're way off base, dude. You're way fucking off base. You're going out in the woods staff-less. Nature provides you the perfect walking stick. That's a loner, my man. Yes, thank you. It's my staff.

No, no. It's not, dude. It's not. I made it. That's nature's. Nature said- You didn't make shit. No, fucking Mother Gaia made that staff for you to use. It came out of a tree, dog. It provided.

I used my hands, my hands, and I took it from God. And I said, this is mine now. Not God, God has nothing to do with nature, Justin, and you know it. I said, Mother Gaia, our verdict. Well now Travis, you and I are in different games. I'm just saying you seal, you seal the staff and it'll protect it so your kids don't have to come to a dumb.

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone. He's gonna do the whole chorus. You sealed your staff and you're so fucking wrong. No, you seal your staff and then you give it to your kids. No, when you finish the walk, you finish your hike, you plant it and you die gently next to you. No, you lay the staff back down

for the next person who's hiking from the opposite direction to find. And then they leave it at the die gently next to you. You lay the staff back down for the next person who's hiking from the opposite direction to find, and then they leave it at the end of the trailhead. You plant your staff in the ground next to you as you die. And then me, I've got a cool finished staff, and I walk past you, and I say, oh, I didn't die, because my staff wasn't rotten. It helped me to walk.

You die because your staff broke at a worst possible moment, and you fell and hit your head on a river rock, and now you're dead, because you didn't finish your staff broke at a worst possible moment and you fell and hit your head on a river rock and now you're dead because you didn't finish your staff. Hey, tell me that you would train a crow instead of befriending a crow without telling me. Am I right, Justin? You're out here training the crow to do your bidding while I'm making friends with the crow and doing it one on one.

Guys, there's a stink bug in my coffee lid. Oh, jeez. Yeah, nature, nature's retaliating against Justin. Nature, nature sent that to teach you a fucking lesson. Oh, look at this, that's so gross. That sucks, my mouth was on it. Ah, the power of Mother Gaia. Oh, what do I do?

I forget how many eyes I met. You need to go out and return some of your fucking sealed staff. I'm sorry, I'm taking back all the wood. I'm taking it back to Home Depot so Nintra can have it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jesus. Please, please, Jesus, have stink bugs. Forgive me, forgive my fucking hubris.

Unbelievable, that's a gross, I'm gonna have to take the lid and burn it. And maybe your mouth too. Oh God, you think it was in there with the coffee? Yeah man, Justin, I did. Ah, I thought it tasted bad all day! Yeah, it was tasting stink buggy, huh? Shit, fuck. Guys. Sucks. I think we have to go to the Yeah, it was tasted sting buggy, huh? Fuck.

Guys. Sucks. I think we have to go to the money zone. I just want to point out, we didn't even get into the magic staff stuff. We're not gonna go to the money zone. We'll take a late money zone. Okay, okay.

You can't get me all worked up about staffs and then not tell me how to make one. Okay, so. Just cause I'm building Charlie chocolates, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Wonka's entire goddamn factory single-handedly. Okay, so, let me jump ahead, making a match. You're still drinking the coffee though.

I need it to funny! Okay. I need my coffee to do the talking and the podcasting. You guys don't even talk to me. See, now who's being a nature hater, Travis? It's just a stink bug. Stink bug stigma. Hakuna Matata.

Thank you. How about collect wood after a storm? Many Wiccans and other Neo-Pagans believe that wood felled by a storm is imbued with supernatural powers. Yeah, man. Look at fucking the natural. He gets that bat, he gets Wonder Boy from the tree struck by lightning and makes him super good at baseball.

That's basically, hey guys, a bat is a baseball staff. Wow, Travis. That's pretty cool, man. So they're like sport wizards as a baseball player. That's pretty cool. Wizards of whack. Wizards of whack is actually. They're whacking the baseballs real hard.

Yeah, no, no, I know. But Wizards of Whack does sound like a sort of early, maybe late 90s pornographic website, like maybe one of the first ones actually out there that you get on your AOL. Why isn't anyone visiting our site? They don't like baseball, sir. Select a stick with significance. In Magic, staffs are traditionally symbolic

of male energy and are often linked to the wind and sun. Why would it be associated with male energy, do you think? I can't even fathom it. Often they're made of hickory or oak. This is boring. When you find a prospective staff, sit with it. Hold it in your hands. Hell yeah.

Try to get a feel for its energy. When you hold the right one, you'll know it. Ideally, your staff will be three to five feet in length. Why put that there at the end? Like, if I find a real chode of a staff and I'm like vibing with it, you're saying like I can't rock with that? It's also insulting to think that a person

would make an 18 inch staff. Yeah, I mean maybe they would. Does it seem right? Maybe that's what they like. Maybe that's the staff they're looking. Maybe that's their journey. That's called a chilele and it can get the fucking job done, dude.

Absolutely it can Listen a peaky gliders over here. I actually like when you find with a real gnarled lumpy end on it Oh, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna Bill Sykes my way around the tavern with this baby Put a right shine to a governor AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW how has crashed? Yo, the butcher's coming at me, and here I've got my Shalali. I'm taking him to fuck out. Lots of kill. Right, speaking of Daniel Day-Lewis. I wanted a proper fight. Lots of wound. Do you read the guy that goes ham on all that shit?

The guy that goes ham on all that shit. I'm out here, Daniel Day-Lewis, hanging around in the woods with my Shalali, fighting, I think, Leonardo DiCaprio. I don't know, I only watched Gangs of New York while I was on morphine with kidney stones and shit. What movie is this for, Daniel? I'm not even sure there's a movie anymore.

You're just doing the weirdest things you can think of. I drink your milkshake, help me. Help me, I've gone too deep. I can't find Dan. I'm gonna kill a bear. What? I'm looking for Danny. He was the boy I was. Please, somebody make a movie about Daniel Day-Lewis and let me play Daniel Day-Lewis so I can get back to myself. It's like weird actor quantum leap.

Bitch was gonna get him out of retirement. The Daniel Day-Lewis story. Someone hit my factory reset switch. You have to take a safety pin in the small hole in my back. Daniel Day-Lewis story someone hit my factory reset switch You have a single thing was in the small hole of my back, please We have to go home Paul Thomas Anderson, I want to help I gotta finish this defrag real quick Choose my time zone. Is Daniel ready?

I don't know, he's blinking? He's blinking blue in three. What color is the light? It's kind of like a purple, dark purple, light purple, is very important. Okay, this is gonna sound wild, but you're gonna hit it with a wrench. It's hard as you can.

Charge, charge or bless the staff. Depending on your practice, you may have a particular ceremony appropriate for the purpose of charging an object or blessing it in preparation for magic. I don't like this. I don't have this. I don't have a practice.

I came here to learn how to make a magic staff. And one of the steps you provided is make the magic staff in the way you do it. They're basically saying, do something magic to it. You just gotta get your Kyber crystals. And no, I don't have those again. What, you don't have your Kyber crystals, Justin? Now, I do just wanna say step six,

Travis has jumped ahead adorn the top of the staff with a charged stone or crystal of significance to you. A Kyber crystal is the way to go. I mean, it could be a Kyber crystal for sure. I prefer, if I can get it, a black Kyber crystal cause it's fucking cool as shit. Fuck, it is cool. It is, that even makes sense, man.

How do you see it? What? That's how they get you though, invisible lightsaber. You're like, oh, here comes that Jedi. They'll light up your cool, like, frog posters. Yeah. I love that shit. Love that. Do you think they ever light joints with lightsabers?

I bet somebody does, right? Cool. Fuck. I'm gonna just skip the last section of this is making a LARP staff. Just use your magic staff. No one's gonna be able to help. Well, you gotta be careful there.

Don't hit nobody. Don't hit nobody. Because if you're LARPing and you pretend to cast a spell but you're using your real magic staff, it could get a little dicey. I mean, do you wanna fucking weave a story of magic and fantasy? Or, you know what I mean?

Like, lean into it. Do a little bit of practical magic. I love that movie. If I could make magic things, I wouldn't need a staff. Whoa, you don't need a fogeye? What the fuck, Justin? That is the first thing, actually, that a four-fizz is posting to. I What the fuck, Justin? That is the first thing actually that a,

I didn't realize, Justin, that you were so fucking advanced in your magical training that you no longer needed fogeye to help train you. No, I'm not. Because fucking Harry Dresden's out here and he's been doing it for like 50 years. He still uses his staff. He needs his fogey.

He still uses his blasting rod. He still uses his shield bracelets. He still uses his power rinks, but Justin's out here. Are these real things this guy has? Yeah, Justin's out here. He sounds like Iron Man. Yeah, man, he's the Iron Man of magic. Justin's out here talking big shit game

about how he can do magic without Folkeye. Go off, Justin. Tell me, King, how do you do your magic without, is it when you're finishing and sealing your goddamn staff? Your staff? I just hoped that there would be more practical step-by-step construction plans in the WikiHow, I think.

I was just gonna take it. Go to Home Depot, buy a five-foot dowel rod of fucking that's half-inch thick and paint it all different whimsical colors. Is that what you want, Justin? I thought it would be more fun to find one in the forest and then figure out what to do with it to make it a staff. I just thought that would be fun.

The magic will tell you. Fucking read a book, dog. The magic will tell you, Juice, actually. You do seem kind of foolish. to find one in the forest and then figure out what to do with it to make it a staff. I just thought that'd be fun. The magic will tell you fucking read a book, dog. The magic will tell you, Juice, actually. You do seem kind of foolish now. If the magic would tell me why do I need WikiHow? Because WikiHow is inherently magic. God damn it, Justin, is this 101? What's up, bud?

That makes perfect sense. I did skip the segment. It's WiccanHow. That's what it's short for! We're not gonna say anything funnier than that. Let's go to the money zone. Thank you. It's better, it's better with you. I love Bombas Socks. They wanted to marry him. Boom. Roasted. I love Bombas socks.

They want you to marry him. Boom, roasted. I am. Such a weird energy. It's such a weird, weird vibe. No, I just, I've seen how happy you guys are together and I feel like you've just been kicking the can down the road, girlfriend,

and I think it's fine to commit. No, you know what? No, you know what? No, I won't play this game with you. These aren't living things that you can marry or fall in love with, Travis. They're just socks, but they're the best socks in the world and you need them.

I don't want people to think by taking a silly tone with this that I don't mean it from my heart. Like, Rhombus socks are important to me. I didn't know you were so, okay, yeah, I'm sorry Griffin. They got honeycomb arch support, they got anti-blister tabs, they're genuinely very comfortable socks. They're comfortable in ways that you didn't know

you needed your sock to be comfortable until you put one of these bad boys on. This is not bullshit, this joke's out of the room. When I put on a Bombas sock, yes, like, I'm going through my socks, at this point, admittedly, 75% of my socks are Bombas socks, but that kind, the like ankle high, like honeycomb, when I put those on I'm like, I'm getting shit done today.

Yeah, you can do anything. Anyway, get comfy this spring and give back with Bambas. Oh, I didn't even talk about the fact that when you buy their socks, tees, or underwear. Yeah, they got those too. You also donate essential clothing to someone facing homelessness. To date, Bombas has donated over 100 million clothing items and counting. It's genuinely the best.

Get comfy this spring and give back with Bombas. Head over to bombas.com slash my brother and use code mybrother for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash my brother and use code my brother at checkout. You guys looking for a doctor? Well you know what I always say, if you need a doc then you got a Zoc. That's why we're talking about Zoc Doc this week. As I get older I've noticed new and interesting ways that my body begins to

fail me and with that I must search for new doctors to look at those specific areas of my body that perhaps I've never even considered maintenance on before. You know what I mean? You know. You got a podiatrist who's just like, yeah man, you're fucked up. It's fucked up in there now.

How old are you? Yeah, it's all a mess. That's what happens, man. And when that happens, God bless, I think it's harder, we talked about this on some episode, I think it's easier to make new friends than to find a doctor, right?

Like it's, so the idea, maybe I said the opposite of the episode. And finding a friend who's a doctor, forget about it. Well, that's probably easy for you, Justin, because your wife is a doctor and I assume she has friends that are doctors. Wow, yes, I'm pretty cool. Okay, but you know what else is pretty cool?

Zocdoc.com, that's right, because they can help you find a doctor in your area and book those appointments, doctors that'll make you feel comfortable, listen to you, prioritize your help, and it's a free app. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare

highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance, which is fucking huge. And you can usually see your book doctor between just 24 to 72 hours, which is incredible. Sometimes you can even get same-day appointments. You gotta check that out, right?

Yes? Okay. Yeah, okay, yeah. Thank you, I just wanted a commitment for once. So go to zocdoc.com slash my brother and download ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash my brother,

zocdoc.com slash my brother. I wish I could go back to like medieval times and say to like a like a person like the Prince or whatever zocdoc.com and then they would be like you are a sources this sorcerer has come from distant lands No, that can't be a sorcerer. He sealed his staff. Yeah, he's clearly a faker. He's a phony fucking jabroni Hello teachers and faculty this is Janet Varney Brownie. Hello, teachers and faculty. This is Janet Varney.

I'm here to remind you that listening to my podcast, The JV Club with Janet Varney, is part of the curriculum for the school year. Learning about the teenage years of such guests as Alison Brie, Vicki Peterson, John Hodgman, and so many more is a valuable and enriching experience. One you have no choice but to embrace, because yes, listening is mandatory. The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

And remember, no running in the halls. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try S-T-O-P-P-O-D-C-A-S-T-I-A. Hmm. Are you trying to put the name of the podcast there? Yeah, I'm trying to spell it, but it's tricky. Let me give it a try. Okay. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, call SDOPPPAD. Ah, it'll never fit.

No, it will. Let me try. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try SDOPPPDCOO. We are so close. Stop podcasting yourself. A podcast from MaximumFun.org. If you need a laugh and you're on the go. Okay, time out. I'll come back soon.

Huh. It sounds like Skrillex being played in another room. Yeah, like trap, dance. Oh, it's getting louder. It's getting louder. Turn it down! Oh. Yeah! Turn it down, I gotta do the thing!

Huh. Turn it, Daphne, turn it down! Who's Daphne? What's up, buddies? Hey, Richard! Hey, Richard! Happy spring, spring is sprung, I'm here to do the thing. Daphne. What's up buddies? Hey Richard. How's it going boys? Happy spring, spring is sprung. I'm here to do the thing. Yeah, hey Richard real quick.

Spring, first day of spring. I always come to you in the first, the beginning of a season. Yeah. And here he is to guide you into spring or whatever. We're gonna get demonetized actually if you do keep Skrillex in the background. If you could ask Daphne.

Who is Daphne? Hey Skrillex, turn it, stop. Oh, it's not a recording. You've got actual Skrillex in the background if you could ask Daphne. Who is Daphne? Hey Skrillex! Turn it, stop! Oh, it's not a recording. You've got actual Skrillex there. Yeah, his real name is Daphne. Oh! Yeah. I didn't know that. Skrillex, Daphne Skrillex.

It's his full name. That's cool. Yeah, he's hanging out here. We've got the whole... Yeah, so yeah, happy spring. Happy to be here to do the show. I'm sorry been a little preoccupied guys Being a really busy over here. What do you do? It's been going on. Well, I got I'm kind of not doing like Living by myself anymore. It started to work out Bad, so I got like kind of a group of people

So I got like kind of a group of people here that are staying with me. Are you doing a content house? One of you speak at a time. Are you doing a content house? Well it's a house, well, it's called, we call it Love Base Alpha. Okay. He's sort of, how do you say, uh, abandoned Aldi? Um, yeah. That's how you say it. Yeah. Yeah. But we call it love base alpha and this is kind of our spot. You know,

we're, we're like, prying eyes and prying noses stay far away from me. Rich was thinking everybody else. Who else lives there? Well, okay. Pfft. Me. Yeah. Daphne Skrillex. Yeah.

Yeah. Ringo is here. Are? A Ringo is here. I cannot say more. Did you say Ringo or Rango? I winked, he did wink. Rango.

Rango. Hold on, wait. No, I do need to know now, is it the animated Gekko Rango? Yeah, okay, cool. That's, he's here, Ringo is here. Ringo and Rango? Got them both, man. I bet they have a lot of fun together with that.

They hate each other, but they're so mad over here. Aw, man. Ringo star is always trying to step on them little wrangly. He's like, get the back here, buddy. I'll smush you. It's terrible. Oh, Tom and Terry are setting up. It ruins the kills of vibe.

But then there's about 700 other people and me. Wow. Hold on. That's a lot of people to live with. It feels like that, man. You get to 300 and you're like, wow, there's so many people. And then a lot more than that show up, but they're so nice. Well, yeah.

It's hard to tell them, like, go somewhere else. Because they're like, they always say stuff like, oh, Richard, you know everything. Or like, Richard, you are sort of a... kind of a Jesus for us and I'm like Richard hold on what it sounds like you're describing is what I would call a cult okay so say people you could be using this word and I do not know yeah but let's talk about because I don't feel that way. It's just friends. Yeah, if that's the case, then it may appear improper.

We're doing some stuff with sense that the government doesn't love. They're not going to go out about some of the things we're doing. So we like to kind of not tell them about it. And Rango's comfortable with this? Rango is the guy who made us buy all the guns to protect. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on Oh, wait, wait, you know now that that's too I begged him to stop Yeah, I beg the Rango I said Rango is too dangerous. I can't do this. Yeah Okay, but in but yes it I am

It is called the symposiumosium on Cosmic Harmony, and it's like my kind of friends. I thought it was Love Base Alpha. I'm sorry, real quick. Love Base Alpha is the building where we live. The Symposium on Cosmic Harmony is sort of like our friend group. You know what I mean?

That's the group chat name. It's a group chat is like the Symposium on Cosmic Harmony. Yeah, so you would say like, come group chat is like the symposium on cosmic harmony. Yeah. So you would say like, come hang out with a symposium on cosmic harmony. You ever heard the wild hogs? Yeah.

The Tim Allen movie? And you know how they call themselves a wild hogs? Yeah. We are like, it's like that except we call ourselves the symposium on cosmic harmony. And I really wanna hear about Springsteads before I do just to check in. You can, you want about that. Not for you to hear about Springsteads, but before I do, just to check in. You want about that.

Love for you to get you guys down here. Perfect. How do you feel about woke left and how it's affecting comedy these days, Richard? Right, it's so cool that you say that. We are all woke here at the, it's all about cosmic wakefulness cosmic harmony. Yeah cosmic unity Well, and that means woke left you are welcome

Hardcore right like so bad like you'll get grossed out cuz of how far come on in Say whatever nasty things it's open here It's about since the thing is the sense have to be this is synth harmony But everything else is a really bad. It's not the harmony is not a priority Okay, how is that going Richard it smells good? Okay, no, but how does it look and sound and feel like how did that? I have been locked inside here with Skrillex. We barred the door.

It's terrible out there guys. I need you to come get me. This is why I call you. Please, listen, okay, okay, fine. Rangle took over. Rangle said, yeah, Rangle said, Richard, I have all the guns. I'm a taking over and me and Skrillex hidden here.

We boarded up the doors. You guys got to come here. We're in the freezer. We boarded up a- But then we'll have to fight through Rango and his goons to get here. That sounds tough, dude. I shouldn't have let him get so powerful, guys.

It's my fault. You should have seen it coming. In a sense, some of this isn't my fault. A little bit, Richard. In a way, I of this isn't my fault. A little bit, Richard. In a way, I feel like I just wanted to make a sick community where everybody could feel good and smell better. You know what I mean? I have good news for you, Richard.

And now everybody, what? Big one. Yeah, the good news, Ringo is a government agent. He's been a plant. I'm gonna pull some strings. I'm gonna get you a- You're coming home, pal. We're gonna need something from you, though. We're gonna need something from you. This makes sense because I wondered why the beetle

sounded like he's from Indiana. Yeah, that's right. I was tricked. Yeah. He's six foot three. He sounds Venezuelan. It's so confusing why he's a Ringo to me. So that actually makes public sense.

It's enough going on that you couldn't pin it down, right, that was our plan. And as a representative of the government, I do need something from you before this kind of a, you know, a little tip for tat. Or flip. I've been trying to flip since I opened it. Like the first day I opened it, I'm like,

you better come stop me. No, I do, I do want you to flip on Rango real hard. We've been trying to get him for a while now. But I also do need to know the spring sense to look out for him. We are all kind of looking for that. Oh baby, when spring rolls in, and I kept waiting for you guys to point out

it's two months late for the beginning of spring, but nobody really like got on to it. But like, Vedevere, you know, huge, always. I love anything green is huge, but like we're kind of beyond artificial sense here. Oh. So it's kind of more about like the sense that aren't there.

Does that make sense? That part sounds good. Are you sure you want us to come get you? Cause it does sound like you have a bit of a good thing going. Well, listen again, if it weren't for the fires, you would smell all of it like so good. But the fires, they're burning everything.

Please you have to come. I'm so scared. Please Skrillex and I are out of cliff bars and he listened Skrillex swears. I think they're elevation bars cuz they're just Skrillex swears that he is out of PB, which is my favorite cliff bar Yeah, and he he says that we only have almond white chocolate left. I know he's fucking lying to me Yeah, I know he has the PB and he just won't share. So I need you guys to come beat up Skrillex for me

and then get me out. Okay. Okay. We can do that. Where's your, how's your walk? Cause I noticed your cross necklace. I feel like you're usually rocking across and I'm not seeing it there. That felt, yeah.

I got confusing for me. For me to be like, that big guy has the answers and then everybody looks like, we know. And then they look at me like, yeah. And I'm like, um, uh, yeah, for sure. I'm the best one there is way better than Jesus. And then I have to go back later. And be like, Jesus, you know, I'm giving you like, you know, it's you and me forever. Yeah. Cause I love him so much. He saved my soul. I'm gonna help forever.

Not like these people. They believe in a false idol of me. You. And they're gonna, I tried to tell them different. They don't listen to me anymore. Richard, did you, how hard? Listen. Do they listen to people whose statue they tore down?

No, you don't want to listen to somebody whose statue you tore down? I see them tear down want to listen to somebody who statue you tore down. I see them tear down my statue. They tore down your statue? It's not a big deal. Oh, I'd be upset if that happened. I wasn't even a buddy, it wasn't even a thing. Because the scent harmony was on point.

I don't care what people are doing with their words or actions at all, as long as they smell so good. So are there like brands or scents you'd recommend or? Paco Rabanne, classic. Yeah. And also, Paco Rabanne is a classic and another huge one is coming to pick up your boy Richard from this situation.

Moon Base Alpha is off of 64. Moon Base Alpha, but we're looking for Love Base Alpha, so where do we go? Moon Base Alpha is next door. It's where he stored all the guns. I'm in Love Base Alpha, which is do we go? Moon Base Alpha is next door, it's where he stored all the guns. I'm in Love Base Alpha, which is the freezer with Skrillex. Please come help! We're on our way.

We'll be there in about four hours. Cool, buddy, thank you. You're welcome, buddy. Can you send Justin back in? What? Send Justin back in so we can wrap up for sure. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Let me go get them one sec, sorry. If a trace of that, if a stem of that song

was playing in the background of that bit, it will be unusable. What's up Strong Justin? Sorry guys, I made a huge BM for 30 minutes and now I'm in my A-shirt. That's upsetting, Justin, because Richard was only here for about 17 minutes. Yeah.

That would imply that during the Money Zone and some of the first half of the show, you were shitting. Yeah, I don't know. Okay. This week we're gonna be in Vancouver and Washington. Now that Vancouver show is sold out, but I think I said Vancouver. The Vancouver show is sold out.

Tacoma Taz is going to be Taz versus the Great Gatsby, which is gonna be huge. So you can come see that. If you have a question you want answered at the Mbim Bam show or wish to fungal or you want read aloud, you can email that to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line.

Thank you so much to Montaigne for these four theme songs. My Life is Better with You. It is a crowd pleaser and a jam squeezer. And you got it. Real quick to slip in there, June 21st through the 23rd, Kansas City, St. Louis, and Tyson, Virginia. I wanted to mention that. Oh, B-A-B-A-M. Bit.ly for Macquarie Tours for tickets and more information.

Also, I mentioned it earlier in the episode, but we started putting out a series called Brothers Gate, me, Justin, Griffin, and our dad, Clint, playing Baldur's Gate 3 together. You can find that on our McRoy family YouTube channel, along with a lot of other great stuff, including Clubhouse and Gaming Streams and all kinds of stuff.

And check out McRoyMerch.com for all the great MacRoy merch. Justin, do you wanna read the, you wanna elevate the wish? Yeah, for sure. Lift it up. Okay. Ooh.

I wish the coffee machine at work was more discreet. I need Justin MacRoy. I'm Travis MacRoy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dads. Square on the lips. with you. It's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,