My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 714: Snoopy’s Boy Chuck

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

Kool, or not? Yes! We’re getting ready to graduate and say hello to summer, and that means its time for blockbuster films that no one has seen, animals in unexpected places, and popcorn pizza. LYLAS! Suggested talking points: The Saga of Me and Zeebro, Porcupine Containers at Best, Tippecanoe and Tanner Too, Freshly Applied Popcorn, Chat Grandpa Dan Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like Life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Wolf Wolf Travis McElroy. What up, Trow Nation? It's also me, you're okay sized dog. Wolf Wolf Griffin McElroy. Medium. I was a hunting dog. A big terrier Griffin McElroy. Working dog maybe? Do you got, do you still got intro?

Cause you started. Yes I do actually. I will, is that? No yeah, it's just I thought maybe we could do a Garfield watch, but we can sit on that until next week if you want. Well okay, no that's perfect because I would like to do something different. A Garfield watch, we've got two flops,

and I would like to talk about the previous weekend in the box office, if I could. I see, okay, yes. In fact, I'd like to talk about the past two weekends in the box office, if I can. Thank you. So, I wanna look at the domestic, the domestic box office weekend for Memorial Day.

It was just wild, y'all. Oh yeah, people were flooding. And you got a theater set up. It was hot and things. Cool theaters. Floating the theaters. Kids out of school. Yeah, man. Free time.

Yeah, man, no. It was a big stinker in the theaters because you had a tie. America looked at the movies. Yeah? And they said, not many of us wanna see a movie, but exactly the same number of us wanna see Mad Max, Furiosa, Mad Max Saga, and the Garfield movie.

Yeah. And exactly even number of Americans said. To the number, to the singles. Oh, to, nah, pretty close. So do you think it was a one for one double feature kind of thing, or it's like people just made a day of it? Fuck yeah, man, grindhouse. Furiosa made 32 million, Garfield made 31 million.

It's basically the same amount of Americans wanted to see. Now a much larger set said, no thank you. No, no films for me today, thanks. No thanks, no movies. I might dip in on The Fall Guy, I missed it. But I'm not seeing the new one. Listen, so many of you should. Not enough people saw The Fall Guy, I loved it very much.

That's all I'm saying, we don't have to do a full thing about it. I'm sure Ryan and Emily needed your baby- I'm just saying. It's being called a flop. It didn't do well in the box office. That's a pity. It's a wonderful movie everybody should see it. I mean, but it sounds like all of them are flopping.

I mean, I guess. Well, cause now they're available two weeks after they come out. That's the ish. That I can watch it on my television. That's the ish. I'm frustrated because more people didn't go see Furiosa and I think George Miller's a genius.

And I think everybody should see his films. He works so hard with them. My bigger frustration, I'm among the number who has not seen Furiosa. So it is a very frustrating situation all around for me, both frustrated with everybody for not making this thing make money so I can watch it. But you also being part of the problem.

I'm not frustrated with myself. I'll take it even a step further. I know. Stone Cold, for a fact. I'm gonna see the fucking Garfield movie before I see Mad Max Furiosa and Mad Max Saga. That's a full name. Absolutely undeniable. I go see films largely for my children. Last one I went and saw, Kung Fu Panda 4, the Freudian slip, but maybe not that much. Wow! No, it was alright. I do actually enjoy the Kung Fu Panda films.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. I have to see this Garfield flick because we saw the trailer for this. Henry doesn't know who this fucking orange cat is from Adam was like, day one, we are going to see him. His dad's in it, Odie's in it. I love, I love how he sounds exactly like Mario. It's so cool. And Star-Lord. He does like that, Justin.

Actually, that's cool because now Mario can be in so many movies, so many wonderful films. If you see both of those, by the way, Garfield and Mad Max on the same day, is Garfield, Furry Road, a Mad Max saga. Is the two of them together. That could be cool. I think it's the full title is Mad Max, Garfield, Furry Road, a Mad Max saga. Furry, sorry Justin.

Furry Road, Furiosa. Furiosa, a Mad Max Garfield saga. Boy, both of those two sound so angry. Yeah, yeah. Mad Max, Furiosa, Simon. Boy, both of those two sound so angry. Yeah, yeah. You think Garfield? Mad Max, Furiosa, they both sound like so Steve. I wonder if they realized they did that. Do you think that they put that together

where it's like, start caring? Embarrassing much. I think they didn't go see Furiosa because it was a prequel and we know she's fine. Yeah. She's in the next one. How many staffs at making a Garfield movie do you think they're gonna do?

Before Hollywood just owns up to the fact people don't wanna see Garfield movie. Shut the fuck up, Travis. You are saying some really rude and wrong stuff right now. I already told you, my son is dying to see this orange cat eat some lasagna. Like dying to be on the floor. You think your son is the cross-section representation

of real America, Garfield? Well, let's talk about it, Travis. In 2004, Garfield, the movie, came out starring Bill Murray because he thought it was a Coen Brothers movie. Yeah. It's true. It happens. And then that one made $200 million on a $75 million budget.

Jesus Christ. Amazing, thank you. Globally? Globally, $200,000 on on a seventy five million dollars. I'm amazing. Thank you globally globally two hundred thousand dollars on a budget Two hundred million. No, no, no one Travis. Garfield is an extremely specifically Intrinsically American hero. I will say he's sorry it made 75 domestic 200 million worldwide on a budget of 50 million dollars. Amazing. That's a huge well done Garfield $175,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, they couldn't think of a three, like a tale of three. My babies, you know that those budgets aren't reflective of actually all the money they spent on the movie, right?

Yeah, I know, but like they didn't, I mean, I know the market is that. Cause they have to spend money, yeah, you have to market. And that Garfield fool was everywhere. Go off, film king. I'm just saying. Garfield is also not a thing. What? Garfield is just around. You know what I mean?

Sure. Like Garfield, it's not like I ever miss Garfield. Oh yeah. He's there when I need him. I think that's the problem. No, I'm not saying that. That sounds good, what you're saying. What I'm saying is, he seems so omnipresent,

I never get a chance to say what happened to Garfield. Yeah. I used to like Garfield, What you're saying, what I'm saying is, he seems so omnipresent, I never get a chance to say what happened to Garfield. Yeah. I used to like Garfield, you know what I mean? Even if they're not doing movies, it's in the comics, and there was Garfield eats that was quite the debacle. Yeah.

And we're talking about him all the time. I feel like he's just always, he's always around. I don't miss him. Yeah, those three things. I would like to make a bold, slightly, I don't know where a statement, but related to this. And listen, this is a big confession I got here, boys. I don't feel strongly about Snoopy, and I feel like I should.

Oh, dog, same. Okay, right? No, that's some big grandpa shit. I can't with Snoopy. Snoopy seems great. He's like at the Macy's Thanksgiving, they're praying, everybody gets so excited, and I'm like, okay.

I get, I see Snoopy pops up, and like to try to delight my wife or kids, I'll try to come up with like a take on Snoopy. Can't, yeah. There's nothing, it's just, he's so cool. Snoopy is the Seinfeld of the comic strip world. No, he's not, cause I got, I had some opinions about him I thought a couple weeks ago.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. He's the Frazier of the comic strip world. I got my white sitcom stars mixed up in my head for a minute. I just don't even think. So dry. If you think about how much we've been able to talk about Frazier, I'm not even sure that's accurate. Yeah, that's true too, damn it.

He's just, I don't know, not funny. He's there. He's just snoopy, man. The kid's sad. And I don't know. I have stronger feelings about Doonesbury. There's like an, those things are like an hour long, those holiday, and like four things happen in them.

It's like, go fucking faster, Charles, please. We just need to be able to say we've watched this. It's just- It's a check mark every season. It's enormous bald children walking slowly in the snow for 15 minutes, and then they get to the dog house and they're like, looks like Snoopy ate his kibble today. And then the dog dances for 15 minutes.

It's just, and nothing fucking happens. They have these breaks where it's like parents need time to leave to smoke. That's when these cartoons came out. So parents could go smoke while their kids just watch the big, hated kids and stuff. And after we watched Snoopy win the decoration or whatever, and now the call to worship,

where we talk about how Jesus came and that's Christmas. That would be more interesting. At least like things like Wizard of Id, I can enjoy because it's written by a Christian man about times before Christ was born and I love that because he just been really in stitches thinking about their hell that they're going to die forever and ever. Uh, hey, listen, this is an advice show and I want to help people. Here is our first question.

The other day, four zebras escaped a trailer passing through my locality. Three were recaptured, but one is still in the lamb. My question is, what do I do if I encounter the zebra? Local animal control gave me a number to call, but I need to know what to do after I call. Okay, wait, local animal control gave a number. They didn't say like, hey you, Doug, if you see this zebra, you call me.

Yes, invited publicly. Yeah. A number to call. But because one- We're deputizing you, Jason, you call me. I'm invited publicly. I had a number to call. We're debutizing you, Jason. Get out there. One cannot simply encounter a runaway zebra and then continue about their day. That's for watching for wildlife in Washington.

What other fucking choice do you have? Like you see the zebra and you just lay down? No, no, no, this is a great point. It's like, what do you do? You got some time with a zebra. Well, I see a wild zebra, right? Even if I call, and they're like, I'm on the way. Let's say-

What they're saying is like, you got a zebra. I think that's the question, right? You got a zebra for some amount of time. I think that you, here's what I will say. If I'm in animal control and I got a call about a runaway zebra, I don't think I can immediately dispatch. I think I'm gonna need a little time on Google.

I think I'm gonna need a little time like- How do you not kill a zebra when you touch it to get it? Because this is not a thing. In Cincinnati, I guarantee, we have a huge zoo here and I guarantee animal control isn't getting briefed on what to do if like the rhino gets out. Like they're definitely calling people, they've gotta call people at the zoo.

Like this is embarrassing, but we can control animals within reason. Yeah, to a point. This is beyond, we cannot control these animals, okay? Sorry, the animal that got out has thumbs. Fuck, man, I have no, I think it's like back all of a sudden. All of our thing is a zebra?

We have like porcupine at best sized containers. We have no cage for a zebra. A zebra? A rhinoceros. Okay, do you know the army's phone number? Cause I'm going to have to give them a ring. They probably, their best bet is like, we tied a carrot to a string on a stick

and we're seeing what we can do. That works on a lot of animals. Yeah, that's true. I think your best bet, your best bet is to just start taking selfies right then. And if it were me, I would take as many different ones as I could with as many different angles

and changes of clothes as I could. And expression, right? Cause then you could be like happy graduation or you could be like, sad funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I might shave. I'd like to be able to use the pictures to document a month's long story on my Instagram.

Yeah, carry changes of clothes with you. Yeah, like me and Zebro are having another day out, like wherever, like out and about. And then in the last one, I'll do like a sad picture. Oh, you're gone? And I'll be like, had to say goodbye to my best friend today. Yeah.

Goodbye, good going on that Rainbow Bridge. I love you so much, Zebro. Oh boy. I miss you. You don't think it'd be a black and white bridge? What? Or do you think once the zebra dies, now he turns into the zebra from the Fruit Stripes Gum?

Yeah, and then I'll say. And now he's got all his colors back. Right. And then I'll say, it turns out the zebra burial is extremely expensive. And if you've enjoyed the saga of me and zebra, I would love if everyone would pitch in on the zebra. For money.

You'd get money out of that. This is the where there was no zebra. There was a zebra though. There was a zebra, there is a zebra. Yeah, but he doesn't need to be cut in on this. You know what I mean? I think he would get it. No, he's fucking dead, man.

He's toast. No, no, no. That's just zebra in the story. It's a fictional zebra. Oh, then you gotta kick some to zebra then, cause if he's faking his death, you gotta make that worth his while a little bit. Zebra's not real.

Zebra's the invented zebra that I'm telling my story about. But it's a real zebra, but it's a character you've based off of real zebra. This is inspired by a true story. Okay. Yes. Cool. His name is probably something dumb, like Franklin, or whatever.

That's actually a tremendous name for a zebra. Yeah, sorry everybody at home named Franklin. I don't know. For a zebra, I'm saying. That's an amazing zebra name. Animals? No, Justin, why would you name a zebra that's so fucking cool?

You can't react to my facial expressions, Travis. Okay, that's fair. It's against the rules of the podcast. You can't look at the expressions I'm making and then talk about them on the show. Can we just say, not a joke, on every show we do with Justin that involves a webcam, Justin mean mugs a lot of the time.

And sometimes I don't know what is like part of the content. Sometimes I'm layering counter subtext to what I am saying with my words. It'll hold up sign to say derogatory or lie. Yeah, no, it's especially, it's a cute, on the besties when someone will say something about a video game and Justin will just give a quick eyebrow raise like, hmm, but you don't get to hear that

at home, which is twisted, but the rest of us are like, just see in the corner of our UI, like Justin disliked that. And it's like, but what, does he wanna talk about that? Or was that, no, he's shaking, he's doing it to me right now. I don't wanna talk about it. I just want them to know that my disappointment has been noted.

That they made, that they said something- Justin will remember this. Yes. That they said something wrong, and I don't have time to unpack it right now. Yeah. Cool. My worry would be, I see the zebra, I call animal control, they're like,

okay, we're sending someone out, we're thinking 10 to 15 minutes, right, is my assumption of how long they'll get there. How long am I responsible for eyes on zebra until somebody gets there? You're holding the bag for short. You are responsible for the zebra. I can't be like, well, that's my duty done off the subway.

I need to stay on, I gotta keep on Zebra. And this is the situation that Animal Control's like, keep that Zebra contained, don't let it out of your fucking sight. You say, okay, thanks, Animal Control, hurry, please. Beep. As soon as you hang up, the Zebra's like, thanks, animal control. Hurry, please. Beep. As soon as you hang up, the zebra's like, well, see ya, and starts to trot away.

What do you do? You can't yell like, no, no, no, fuck, fuck, fuck. Stop, stop, stop. They're gonna definitely tell you, do not approach the zebra. And then you're gonna say, why? It's my zebra time. I can spend it how I want to.

Why not? Like, what is it gonna do? Like, don't get within, what, biting range? Is that what you mean? A plain zebra weighs almost 900 pounds. I would say average 900 pounds. It's gonna body me, I try to get in its way. There's no way I get in that zebra's way

and I come out the victor. Best I can hope is I'm gonna ride that, I'm gonna jump on that zebra's back from a chair and try to keep him calm. Yeah, you'd have to try to last him until the way you're gonna get him down. I'm always so nervous about animals stuff because my gut is like,

if you're asking me what I'm doing with my zebra time, I'm creating unforgettable experiences and then my gut is, then I say, all right zebra, you better clear the fuck out of here right because the the animal police are coming basically and They are going to take you back to zoo. I say that thinking I'm a hero of The people but then then people come to me They're like actually if zebras aren't in captivity. They can't take care of themselves

They die instantly if they touch asphalt They're if they touch asphalt if they step onto a street all't take care of themselves, they die instantly if they touch asphalt. If they touch asphalt, if they step onto a street, all their legs break at once and they die instantly as their body hits the ground. And then all of a sudden, I'm the asshole because I'm not like, this time we do need the zebra cops to come.

It would be tantamount to the ice cream falls off of your cone and you watch it melt on the ground and you're like, yeah, liberty! Be free ice cream! Be free ice cream! You free ice cream! Yeah, I know. You'll be consumed. I don't know what kind of life that zebra's gonna get here in Cincinnati,

but I can't imagine it's better than, you know, being at the beautiful Cincinnati Zoo, second best zoo in the US. This person says Washington, and it kind of depends on which Washington, right? One, you get hunted by werewolves, no good. The other one, you might get shot by Joe Biden in sport hunting.

Yeah, man, you don't know. You know, I don't know. You don't know. I'm calling him dead. Oh, by the way, bear update. Got a text from my lifelong best friend, Tommy Red, said that his mom, you don't remember where Dreama lives, but it's that road off in Norway.

Yeah, I do. Don't tell me I don't remember where Dreama lives. Right by the animal hospital? Yeah, right by the airs. She saw the bear. So think about that, guys. You know where I live, you know where Dreama lives. She saw the bear too.

This dude had to have crossed Norway Avenue. This bear's forrest gumpin' around town. Just runnin'. He is, he's appearing in like pictures like Steve Williams is like, me and my bear hanging out like it's wild. We also got just another update. A lot of firefighters were at Innsate. I was just about to say.

Yeah. Okay. They do in fact like fire adventures. They get super psyched for it. And someone also informed us that apparently the number of firefighters Here's one that says I was a firefighter for many many years and yes, I loved fire adventures Travis hit it on the head I'm not glad something is on fire,

but I'm glad I'm gonna be the one putting it out. I decided to do something else when I stopped being excited about fire adventures. Well, yeah, you got to. I will say this, if you are a firefighter and you're like, my passion in putting out fires is just not there anymore, it's probably pretty- I put out my own fire.

Probably easier than most jobs to just go, so I'm gonna stop doing this now. Cause it's like, if I don't wanna do podcasts anymore, my heart's not in it, I can still shit out some podcasts because I'm not gonna die maybe from doing them. Yeah, I feel like that's a good point cause if you turn in your two weeks notice or whatever as a firefighter,

I bet there's not a lot of follow up questions from the bosses like, why don't you wanna do this anymore? It's like, oh, for the everything of it. Because of the everything of it. Yeah, but also you probably wouldn't get bored of podcasting if it was as exciting to tell people about as fighting fires. That's also true. Like you're never like,

you know one time we had Jesse Eisenberg on and there were some awkward gaps in the conversation because of lag and it was the hardest day of my life. Like no one wants that. But we pulled Jesse out of that one. We pulled Jesse out and we made it, we all made it home. I do, I do, I'm, this is sort of unprecedented for the show. I do want to read this other firefighter email from David

who says, I'm a wildland firefighter. I fight forest fires, rad. We're collectively a highly adventurous culture and getting to go fight wildfires is probably the most fun thing that I get to do in my life. Our culture is also very strange. We have a capricious God whose domain is misery. Latent pyromaniac is essentially a job requirement

and shitting yourself is extremely common. Almost every firefighter I know has an excellent shit story. That's not something I expected from the Bible. When you're in it, I'm working Best Buy, I can look at my manager like, hey, can someone cover the computer department? I gotta take a 10-2. I gotta take a shit.

I'm putting out a firefighter that's threatening people's lives. I don't think I could be like, hey, can someone grab this hose for me? I gotta go drop a shit. I have engineered a life and a career that when I go to the bathroom, no one can text me and be like,

you have to work now. If I'm pooping, then I could scroll, I could search our text history from the three of us. That's just includes the phrase like, gonna be 10 minutes late pooping. You don't get that when you hear clang, clang, clang, clang, clang. The orphanage, the orphanage is ablaze.

I can't be like, ooh, can they hold off a little bit? I'm in the middle of my institutional. I just started, guys. Just let it rip. I would love, if you're a firefighter with a great firefighter pooping story, maybe that's a new segment. Maybe we can review some of those on the show.

In the shit. the show in the shit Or fire down below We got a lot of different great names for this segment already I live in a house that has three units according to the lease the people who live in unit a are the only ones allowed To use the backyard. However, the people in that unit kindly allow all of us to use it. Last year, they set up a hammock. Not only is it nice, it's the only piece of furniture outside.

The backyard is mostly concrete with a tree and some rose bushes, snow grass. The weather is getting nice and I've been wanting to get some sun in, but my neighbor hasn't set up his hammock yet. How do I convince him to set it up without sounding impatient or entitled? That's from basking in the bay.

This must be a good hammock. For you to even consider having what is going to be an uncomfortable social interaction for one or both of you. This hammock, this isn't one of those nylon mesh ones that cuts into your flesh as you lay in it, like some sort of Hellraiser trap. This has to be- Yeah, this is canvas.

This is a canvas cushioned fucking memory foam situation. But it might also just be the absence of other furniture Griffin elevates the quality of it. The hammock, yeah. It's true, it also elevates the relaxation. Yeah. Because you don't have people sitting around you, looking at you while you're on the hammock.

It's really important to not have chairs nearby because if someone's sitting in a chair and I see them on the hammock, I'm in my head, like do they wish they were in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, hammock sitting is such a live wire of social interactions because it's not what you expect, which is like when I'm sitting in a hammock,

I'm not nervous that people are watching me, waiting for me to fall out. When I'm in a hammock, I'm not nervous that people are watching me, waiting for me to fall out. When I'm in a hammock, I am thinking, like, am I chilling enough? Like, am I? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't, you can't sit in a hammock and look like antsy or uncomfortable.

Like, I need to look extremely, extremely chill right now. I am. This is a brief journey that I go on. With every hammock I've experienced so far, so I feel like my record's pretty spotless. One, that looks relaxing. Two, it is hard to get into, and I almost fall. Three, it takes a while,

but I finally find a spot that's comfortable. Four, I think to myself, this is gonna be hard to get out of. Then I think, I better find out right now how hard it's gonna be to get out of, because Yeah, then I think I better find out right now How hard it's gonna be to get out of because I won't be able to think about anything else right six I get out It's embarrassing. I almost fall. I eventually Settle for because there's no graceful way sort of rolling out correct I'm just slumping onto the ground on all fours. Yeah, like a dog the whole thing takes about three minutes

Easy, so both of these points. It whole thing takes about three minutes. Easy. So both of these points, it's a similar thing of like if I take a bath, right, and I'm like, this will be relaxing, and then I get in and I immediately wanna get out because I'm bored, because I have what's called, I believe the doctors call it ADHD, and I'm immediately bored and ready for the next thing.

But then I think it was so much work to get to this point. I am going to now have the most stressful 10 minutes of my life forcing myself to be in this thing long enough to justify everything that's got me to this moment. That's a very private example. I am now thinking about every public leisure activity thinking about every public leisure activity

carries with it a psychic burden of relaxation projection. I have sat in those like massage chairs at an airport, and when I'm in it, I'm like, first of all, it's fucking incredible, the Shiatsu technology that they have in these things is so, so, so on point. But also, I need to look normal now. I can't, and maybe normal on a massage chair is like, ah, you know, maybe it's not normal to sit there, like beady-eyed, just staring into the middle distance

while, you know, robot balls work your back. What's the right amount of relaxation so that I don't seem like also a fucking creep? Because I can't be in this massage chair like you know similar to getting onto a float in a pool by the way of this lay down float there's no way I look good getting on it and then I'm on it and immediately I think well I just started toasting myself in the Sun I'm in a toaster I put myself in a human toaster oven I can't stay on this but I did just work really hard to get on it.

Yeah. Ugh. We had such an awkward one when we were flying through, I think it was when we were going through flying home from SeaTac. There was a, Travis and me and Dad were all in the same flight, and there was a row of massage chairs,

and I saw Travis in one, he got in the gate for us. I saw Travis sitting in one really enjoying it. Yeah. There's an empty one next to him. And in fact, there's a couple of empty ones next to him. So I get down and sit next to him and I swipe the card and I do the whole bit. And it doesn't work. And that chair doesn't work. And then I go over to the next chair and I swipe the whole bit and I try it.

It doesn't work. So I go back to the other chair and I sit down and I'm like, Travis, this doesn't work, but it's the only available seat. So I stay in it and I know it's not on. On. No, Justin. You can't sit in an inactive massage chair. It was the only seat. Now, here's the worst. Sit on the floor.

Then somebody else comes. Oh, no. Then somebody else comes and sits down next to me. I'm suddenly in hell because two things are true. I know that chair doesn't work. And I know I'm gonna watch that person try to make the chair work. And they're gonna say it doesn't work. And they're gonna get so frustrated.

And I hate seeing stuff like that. And Justin knows. And the whole time you could have said, like part of you wants to say that chair doesn't work and set the expectation right then. But then that's such a weird. And then I need to tell them probably that my chair doesn't work because the obvious thing for them is like well this This husky boy is taking up a whole seat. Yeah, and I could be trying that one

So then I have to tell the stranger this chair doesn't work And then I have to tell him the third thing which is the guy in the chair that does work is my brother Yeah, and I'm just sitting here at which point I do a huge shitty grin and thumbs up, and I say, and it's great. And I bet every fiber of my being thinks, Travis, please stop your pleasurable experience to let this stranger take the chair from you. No!

But he does it psychically. I paid for like 20 minutes on that goddamn chair. That's too much time, you two-ten. If I get out in the middle, I'll lose access to the avatar state What are you talking about Justin who knows what horrible thing the treatments not complete? What if it's beating my muscles up, but hasn't rebuilt them I get out I Alex Mack put a right away. Are you kidding? After it breaks you down, it's gotta build you back. I'm not breaking the cycle

I think you're in that situation next time you just kind kinda can move your body like you're getting rubbed. While you make like faint dip. Just like, bump, bump, bump, oh. Chica, chica. What you need to do, I think it's too late for this now, but you need to start, when they do set it up, right? Start saying things like, this makes the summer for me. Thank you so much for setting this up.

I've been looking forward to this. Yeah. That way you can set up the expectation of like- Ooh, go out into the yard with your boombox and your cooler full of seltzers. And then you're gonna have to stand there for a while. So like wear sunscreen and stuff. And just like look around confused,

like you've lost the hammock. Like you know the hammock should be here, but it's gone. And if they see that they're gonna read between the lines. Maybe lay down in the space where the hammock would be here, but it's gone. And if they see that, they're gonna read it. Maybe lay down in the space where the hammock would be and like kind of rock your body, like you swing it back and forth. That's so cool. Then start crying really loudly.

Get a big beach towel and two strong friends who will hold either side of it. And then you get in it like a caterpillar cocoon. And you swing, you have them swing you back and forth. Get a large number of like middle school age children and a big like rainbow colored parachute and lay in the middle of them and have them flip you around a bunch.

Uh huh. Be on your phone arguing with your bank because you need more money to buy your own hammock, but you don't have any money and like they're not nice. You've been denied a loan. No guys, make your own hammock. Yeah, make your own hammock, but you are, you don't have any money and like- You've been denied a loan. You've been denied a loan. No, guys, make your own hammock. Yeah, make your own hammock.

Out of what? Make your own sad little hammock. Bet you. It doesn't matter, the sadder the better. Braid together a bunch of old shopping bags. A towel and two lawn chairs, just like, and the point is it doesn't work. So the neighbor needs to see you like,

getting it all set up, just like- Your feet on the one chair, your head on one chair and your butt on the ground in the middle. But you keep doing it keeps falling apart. Like the, um, the football kid, what's his name? It always pulls it away from at the last Chuck Brown, Chuck Brown, Charlie Brown, you know, it's Snoopy stuff. Snoopy's boy. Yeah. You just got, the neighbors just got to see you struggling and They'll be like, hold on. Why are you struggling?

I've got to I forgot the hammock and then they'll go do it Salt salt All right. Let's take a quick break. Let's head to the money zone and then we'll do more jokes. We're sponsored this week by MetLife Oh, no Oh no! Oh no! Jeez. It's better, it's better with you. Well hi there folks, didn't see you come in there. Come in. Come in, I've got a nice crackling fire here. Dry off, dry off, traveler.

I don't know why I'm doing it like this. A quick break from the show to tell you about our amazing sponsors. Aura Frames has been a sponsor of ours for a while. But not only that, it's been a presence in my home. We've got it right there by the front door. So my kids like to stand in front of it and say that was me when I was a baby. And it's them like six months younger. It's great. But it's really easy to add photos to.

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box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. I'm Sequoia Holmes, pop culture and host of the Black People Love Paramore podcast. Contrary to the title, it is not a podcast about the band Paramore. Each episode, I, along with a special guest co-host, dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with black people, but we know that we like. Tune in every Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen here on Maximum Fun. I'm Yucky Jessica. I'm Chuck Crudsworth.

And this is Terrible. A podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful. Today we're discussing Wonderful, a podcast on the Maximum Fun Network. Hosts Rachel and Griffin McElroy, a real life married couple. Yuck! Discuss a wide range of topics, music, video games, poetry, snacks. But I hate all that stuff. I know you do, yucky Jessica.

It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts. For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo. I hate this little hippo. I'd like to go to the wizard's hut, if you guys don't mind. Were you invited?

No, but we're like chill. We're like pretty chill like that. He's my best. I'm his best friend. Wait, who's your best friend Griffin? My best friend is Hangmar Dukas. Of course. Thank you so much.

It is how to sign a yearbook. Deciding what to write. Deciding what to write in someone's yearbook can be tricky. Consider how you know the yearbook owner and try to personalize your message write it about an inside joke a memory You shared or simply tell the person to enjoy their summer keep in mind that anyone can read your entry So keep it clean and be nice and respectful Have you guys ever found yourself in a situation be it like signing like a birthday card where a bunch of people are signing?

It for somebody or like you know when you're in theater and you like sign everybody's show poster or whatever, you sign a yearbook like this and you, without thinking, just kind of write your name and then realize everybody else has like personalized it and then a thing, but you didn't leave room for that. You didn't leave room for that. So your name is right below. So you'd be like, Justin McElroy wishes you the best.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the idea of writing inside jokes or personal memory based messages, I would say 98% of yearbooks I signed were not for people with whom I possessed those things. And then when I did find myself signing the yearbook of someone with whom I was a close friend,

I would fucking freeze up deer in the headlights, like unable to generate. So just a nice, I think I used to do just a nice signature on there. I don't feel, I'm thinking about it, I don't feel like I've ever been offered a card to sign that hasn't felt like an assault at the time. Yeah, yeah.

Like, why is it always, it feels like every time it's ever happened to me, it takes you about 30 seconds to even process what it is. Like, what, What are we doing? This is for who? And it's also a weird little secret where they're like, hey, we're passing this or we're passing this. It's always like, Justin, can I just tell you for a second?

And then you shove something in my hand, it's like, what do you want me to do? It's like, oh, one of those. Eat this, eat it, eat it right now, Justin, eat it, please. You need to eat it or they'll die. It's basically saying, I treasure you, so I didn't do something else for a second. Yeah.

While I did this for you to make this power. This took. It's filled with our life energy. This took 21 of my seconds. Now, it's in this card. And that's what love is. Consider whose book you're signing. Are they a good friend, a best friend, or just someone you've seen around in the halls?

Write your message accordingly. Be honest but nice. Did you guys ever get people ask you to sign your yearbook that you're like, uh, okay. I don't really know your whole thing. Don't know your vibe. We were partners in Kickball once.

I guess that was pretty chill. Even if I could remember that context, that would be amazing. Yeah, great job at kickball. Great job at kickball. But the idea of like, I have seen you in life. I got a few, I think I might've been that person for a lot of people.

Oh yeah. Because I got a lot of like, wish we'd gotten to know each other better. Oh my God, so much, so many regrets I received in my yearbook. You seem like a great guy. You've always seemed pretty cool. Keep it short and sweet.

Apportion the space according to how well you know the yearbook's owner. More space for a closer friendship, a whole lot less for a class acquaintance with whom you've had very little to do. I always actually appreciated once I discovered the I just signed your crack strategy. Oh good, good.

It's very, very quick and space efficient. You are not going, the only person you're gonna piss off is the next person who also wanted to sign the crack and then it's like, maybe come up with a fucking original joke for once in your life. You know what I mean? You know what, another powerful move that I do sometimes, look for a sentiment that somebody else has already written.

Oh yeah. That you're like, that's a powerful compliment. And then you write like, yeah, what they said. Travis MacRoy like, oh yeah, couldn't agree more. Travis MacRoy. Yeah. Everybody whose yearbook I signed in high school got the exact same signature.

Lylas, L-Y-L-A-S, love you like a sister. Very good. Justin MacRoy. Sorry, soroy, that's what everybody got. Too cool to be forgotten, I did a lot of those. I did a lot of those. That's a good one. Can't fault it. Never do have a great summer.

Don't you have a great summer? I don't know shit about you. One time I got- Too cool to be forgotten. Yeah, I was in yearbook. I got in trouble from Miss Filinger, the yearbook teacher. You don't teach a yearbook. I got in trouble from Miss Filinger, the yearbook, like teacher, you don't teach a yearbook,

but she was the advisor for the yearbook class. I got in trouble because I think in eighth grade, I was about to go to high school, so who gave a shit? I wrote, have a kick-ass summer in a lot of my like friends books, and that got back to me. Andy coming out there. Got back. Andy.

What? Oh is that my bad, my bad percentage? It's got a little bit of Andy in there. Yeah, I got a little bit of trouble with Miss Villager, but I think we squashed it fucking eventually. Hey, use the handwriting. Yeah, sign the yearbook quickly. That one's huge.

If I've got, if I've got, hey, listen, Chloe, if I've got Tanner waiting in the wings to sign my fucking yearbook and you're doing it right now, I appreciate you, we had some great time in yearbook class. This is fucking Tanner we're talking about. He's got a lot of yearbooks to sign. He's really popular, but he's also my friend from church. And so I need him to get in here to have ample time to do,

to leave his mark. If you don't mind, you're writing a whole story in there, Gabrielle, and I appreciate that. But Tanner is fucking right here, you see him? Here's a life hack that they don't always talk about. You don't have to get the yearbook signed that year. There's no, there's no due date. If you find them 20 years later,

and you're like, hey, you never signed my yearbook, you can still get them to do it. You can get it. My trick in high school that I would recommend to people is to try to stand around yearbook time near people who everyone is gonna ask to sign their yearbook. Because if you're nearby. I'm near Chris, I'm near David.

And they're already signing, and they're like, well, Justin, as long as, you know, it's like awkward. Like I've known you. You want me to grab that? I can grab that. I'll just go ahead and knock mine out. While you wait for David, I could do it.

Yeah. I always wish we got to know each other better. Me too, man. Oh man, yeah. Do you wanna hang out now while we still live in the same city or perhaps next year when we attend the same school? No? Okay.

Yeah. But then you start signing it as Tanner. And then you can sell like a service, like guys listen, do you wanna wait in line for Tanner or do you want me, Griffin? The Tanner, the Tanner tribute experience. The Tanner forger. Tannest. Griffin, yeah.

I'll make Tanner say whatever the fuck you want him to say. Like, you're so fucking sexy, Dylan. Love Taner. Like, love Taner. I don't give a shit. I will write whatever. Please don't tell Taner, though. There's more, I guess. Yeah.

Make an inside joke. I'm not gonna do that. Write about a memorable moment you had together. Make up a memorable moment. Yeah, make up a memorable moment. Oh, I was gonna say, I feel like the people in my high school that wrote like, I wish I'd gotten to know you better,

always kind of didn't ring true for me, because like, I went to school with the same people for the entirety of the time. I feel like there was not a customer base. Yeah. For the Justin McElroy brand that was not being served in high school. I met my entire addressable market, my my my Tam, my total addressable market in like eighth grade. Everyone knew how they felt about the brand. Yeah.

This was this was steady. You everyone had a chance. You're not one of those bakeries where it's like, we make just this many when they're sold out, they're gone. You were making more muffins all day long. We reached everybody. We reached everybody, we gave them a sample, and everyone decided how they felt about it.

But there was not a lot of gray area. So we got to all the customers. So if you're gonna write that, get more specific. And write, I wish that your personality and my personality would have meshed in such a way that I had enjoyed your company instead of the opposite, which was to find you kind of annoying and overbearing. And in that universe, I think we would have gotten along well.

L-Y-L-A-S. Dear Justin, I wish you had the first idea to talk to anybody that wasn't already in church with you. Love me. Yeah, that's it. I sign my own yearbook a lot. Dear Travis, I wish you would engage in other people's interests and ask them what they like

instead of just talking about your own shit all the time. Love yourself. Oh no, right now this is recursive. Look what we're doing right now. Go talk to other people. Love me. I snuck into all the club photos and yearbooks and I keep waiting for that to come back to haunt me.

I don't know. I thought it would be way more beneficial. I thought that would be way more beneficial than it was. Where people would be like, oh, I see here that in eighth grade you were in Latin club. Here's, you get $200,000 a year at this salary now or whatever. Justin was a young Democrat and a young Republican

and a young independent and a young Green Party. I was in the key clubs, I don't know what that is. No, I don't think so either. I think I'm saying future Homemakers of America, I'm not 100% sure. Future Farmers too? I don't know, can I be both? You can be in the picture.

Ooh, this one's cool. Add a signature phrase. Come up with a signature phrase to write in your books. Ideas include, this year has been a blast and has gone too fast. I can't wait to see what next year brings. Remember Grant, remember Lee, to heck with them, remember me.

Too long. Yeah. From a, like, is that a Civil War joke? Yeah. Maybe. Oh, but fuck! Yeah. Is this article how to die alone?

Like, what kid, what little nerd layer's like, grr? It's either a Civil War quote or a weird diss track for two other kids in your class that are like, fuck Grant and fuck Lee. And it's like, whoa man, they're like really cool. Tip a canoe and Tanner too, and you're Tanner in this case. Oh, okay.

Keep it clean. Sorry, Ms. Villinger. Fucking, do you, if you as an adult are flipping through your yearbook Keep it clean. Sorry, Ms. Villinger. Fuckin'. If you as an adult are flippin' through your yearbook and you see someone wrote the word ass or any cuss word in there, you're gonna be like, I don't remember who Brian was, but he seems fuckin' cool. He's like, I'm gonna get back in touch with Brian because he cussed in my yearbook.

He's like a good guy. Don't tease or make fun of other students or the yearbook owner. You can razz them a little bit. You can razz them a little bit. Yeah. Everyone's a little casual ribbing. Yeah.

A little joshin. Avoid confessions. Oops, too late. I was the Zodiac Killer. Have a great summer. I did it. I did it, it was me. Lylas. Lylas. Lylas, I was like- Grassy Noel, it was me. Lilas. Lilas. Grassy Noel, Lilas.

Lilas. Lilas. Lilas. Jeff Fuel can't be else. Can't be. Lilas. Lilas. I directed the moon landing.

Lilas. What? You're in eighth grade. What are you talking about? Yeah man, you heard me. So don't use acronyms actually guys, so sorry about Lilas. Oh fuck.

No, that's not. Though you may be tempted to write hags. Why would I write that? Have a great summer. Or S-Y-N-Y, see you next year. You should avoid using acronyms in 20 years. Is that one? In 20 years when people are back looking

through their yearbooks, they will probably have no idea what these acronyms really mean. Coney2012. Coney. Is that an ad? I'm still not sure where we're at with that one. What is, that was like Coolsfeldwithak or not. Yes. Was, I believe what that acronym stood for.

Yeah. Sign your phone. 2012. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, now we know. Now we know. Here's another question. Duh-la-la-la-la.-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh It's a bit louder. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Welcome to Squash the Podcast. This is the Podcast Profiler, the latest and greatest in brand eating. We don't talk about AI much on this show

because I think it's a huge bummer, but you know what's not a bummer? That movie did bum me out by the way. In the end, it was like waiting for the blue period. He's spinach and breaks. Why a multinational pizza chain partnered with ChatGPT? Okay. For money?

Isn't there a Dodo pizza? Dodo pizza? Dodo pizza? Dodo pizza. Like D-O-D-O or D-O-U-H-D-O-U-H? D-O-D-O-Dodo, like the bird. No. It's currently- The incredibly successful and thriving bird?

Yeah, it's headed up by someone named Alina Tikova. Dodo pizza has long been known for its embrace of the unconventional, from pioneering innovative reusable boxes to a digital first food service concept. I don't want to eat digital food. Yep. It's digital food. If you look at the history of our company, it's a stream of unorthodox decisions to Koba says our philosophy has always been to stay open to innovation on top of recent technologies. So what does that mean in this context? The latest innovation from Notapizza has captivated customers, is a partnership with JetJet GPT.

In February, the multinational pizza chain officially introduced an AI powered pizza flavor generator. What? With its Dubai mobile application. Now customers can use the app to generate personalized pizza recommendations based on their moods and preferences, which can then be ordered online for delivery.

This is the power of AI guys. This is the dream with over 30 million flavor combinations and more than 35 ingredients to choose from. Customers can select mood options such as post-workout, game night, or incredibly sad, new in town, or my favorite, hungry, and receive tailored pizza suggestions within seconds. They can even name the pizza and view a generated image through AI program mid journey before placing.

Can you imagine seeing an incredible rendering of your pizza? What's that? Oh my God, it's a picture of your own face made of pizza. What is this horrible? I don't wanna slip into like too much, it's easy to be like, oh, try, you know. This is some of the most wally ass sounding shit I've ever heard where I'm too lazy

to take the two seconds to go, what kind of pizza do I like? And that's the amount of time you would have to take to talk to a chat driven AI to figure out what kind of pizza you like instead of just being like, well, I'm a 40 year old man who's had pizza before. So certainly I know what pizza I like. Certainly I'd be able to figure it out. It's actually for my brain a lot faster to type out

a chat GPT prompt than it is to think about what flavors of food I like. Okay, I don't want you guys, I know sometimes I have a tendency on this show to mispronounce or maybe not have the clearest speaking when the words get a little challenging. So I'm gonna send this next sentence to you guys and Griffin, if you would just read this sentence out loud.

Yeah, sure. Dodo's Pizza's Regular Menu is expanded to include 17 experimental ingredients offering items like fusilli, popcorn, duck, pumpkin seeds, melon, and guacamole. Now, Griffin, I noticed you stumbled a bit with that first word. What is that word again, Griffin? Well, it's spelled Fuzzily, F-U-Z-Z-I-L-Y. Guys, if you can tell me- It's Fusilli, it's a pasta.

Yeah. Okay, so, maybe don't let ChadGPT write your press releases, perhaps, because you wrote Fuzzily, and no one looked at that and said, guys, Fuzzily isn't an ingredient. You mean Fusilli, and it's a pasta. Also, also, popcorn on pizza? Fuck you.

I'm not, no, no, that's- Yeah, but like Fuzzily, guys. But no, but yeah, I mean, even if they had spelled it right, just straight up pasta noodles on pizza isn't, that's not, that is unorthodox. You got me there, Dodo Pizza. Yeah, it is unorthodox. If you send me, I'm gonna jump back real quick, Griffin.

Pizza known to be hot and steaming. You put popcorn on that pizza, you close that boxlet, you take whatever time it takes to drive it to my home, you have lost any benefit of there being popcorn on that pizza. I'm not saying I'm at home, I get a pizza, I put popcorn on it, I immediately eat it. It would need to be freshly applied.

By the time it made it to you, that would be rough. That would be rough. You maybe could use some puffed corn or something. Or half. Here's the quote. And guys, I know you're wondering about these, so there's a perfect explanation here. That would be rough. You maybe could use some puffed corn or something. Perhaps. Here's the quote. And guys, I know you're wondering about these, so there's a perfect explanation here. Oh, thank God. We included ingredients we don't normally put on pizza

because we figure we might as well. Oh! Santa Coba. Cause why the fuck not? Now, let's- Customers can play with it repeatedly if they'd like to, or they can order a regular pepperoni pizza. We're giving them unlimited choices. I love the idea of duck on pizza, but I love Doug's one my favorite. I'd love duck on pizza I don't want to ask for it from a robot because I have to I don't want to just you can't order specific ingredients

You just tell it the mood you're in and that you'd know you want pizza and it'll take it from there Trav And it'll it knows you better than you know yourself think if I said I'm in the mood for duck on pizza and they'd be like, oh Then the last thing you want is duck on pizza. You want to be surprised. So here's yeah Bunch of pasta loose in a box to Kovach explains the move into AI thusly It's hard not to pay attention to AI. Everybody's talking about it Yeah, you're not right I mean we man, we didn't want to, but fuck us, I guess. The combination of this buzz and the fact that we're already using this fresh cool technology made this move an obvious choice for us.

Is it fresh and cool? Now this is very surprising. She acknowledges the real value lies in the insights gained about customers and their choices. Oh. When a guest uses the pizza flavor generator, Dodo Pizza gains valuable information about their preferences and situations. This data allows the company to tailor

its marketing efforts and enhance the overall customer experience. So let me clarify a little bit. You tell it, I'm in a grumpy mood. And then it says, do you want pineapple? And you say, no. You fucked up. Here's what I want and then the robot says okay when people are in a grumpy mood what they really want is pepperoni and sausage and then the next person's

like I'm grumpy and the robots like pepperoni and sausage and the person's like fucking A. This is good. This is good tech and then then the next person's like, I don't eat meat. And the robot's like, holy fucking shit. But you're also grumpy? But you're grumpy, but you don't eat meat? Maybe being a vegetarian is a mistake. Have you thought about that? Fuck! Well, do you know?

Okay, I'm spiraling. Yeah. As a computer, I'm spiraling. Can you help me and just tell me what ingredients you do like on pizza So I'll know the next for the next time it's like you I can do them you're fucked I can't also if you would tell me your address and spending habits and political leanings that would be amazing Just give me and like your mom's maiden name or whatever And can you tell me which of these pictures has stoplights in it for me to know it, please?

Here's a good bellwether I use. Cause imagine going to human being and saying, hey, you have a real intelligence, which is better than an artificial one. Yeah. I am horny. What kind of pizza should I eat? Yeah.

No human being could ration this out. It doesn't make any sense, a nonsense question. Why are we giving computers nonsense questions, guessing our pizza moods? Yeah. It's hopeless. I would also not expect, you know, the 20 year old person that I call at Pizza Hut and answer the phone and I put in my order with them

to remember that data to better talk to the next person. Like, well, the guy before you, he lived over here and he wanted, you know, anchovies or whatever, and you live in the same neighborhood, so you probably want anchovies too. That would be a wild expectation for that human being to have. Why are we asking, that is not a thing, I expect.

Is this up, can I do this? Some people are quite traditional and we have options for them, but a lot of people are willing to play around and our ideal customers encompass those innovators. To go with, so they don't want just anybody buying Dodo Pizza. They want thought leaders buying this pizza.

Their ideal customer is a creative type who's a pioneer and an entrepreneur and is willing to fuck around for 30 minutes with an AI robot to get sausage and onions now We should also say here Toto pizza just apologize in beta testing about half the time It did send people batteries on pizza. That's that's we are sorry. We're trying to work that out We haven't quite got those bugs out yet. So if you get the battery on pizza Just think before you eat out. This is the difference with my pizza company,

Justin McRoy's humans only pizza. Our market is any dumb motherfucker with a little pizza money to spend will take ya. You don't need to be a thought leader here. We'll put whatever you want on the pizza. We won't make you talk to a robot at all. It's a Luddites pizza. I make it in a brick oven.

It takes me four hours. Please let me know several days in advance. Yes, I can't wait to be able to afford computers. And that, I think Justin actually could use a bit paring down like my pizza business, Griffin McRoy's Hot and Ready cheese pizzas from Little Caesar's pizzas. And the way that my restaurant works is that we have,

we go to Little Caesar's, we buy the $5 hot and ready, we sell it back for $6, because we do need to make a little bit of, a little bit of something on the side. But you know, if you come here, what you're gonna get no matter what, we really only do the one thing, which is the best pizza, Little Caesar's,

hot and ready $5 cheesy boys. You guys are doing too much work. At Travis's pizza already, what we've done is we waited for the trademark on pizza to lapse, and then we bought it. So now we own the trademark to the idea of pizza. So anytime anyone eats a pizza, we get five cents. Every single time. That's smart.

What I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go to the Dodo Pizza website and I'm gonna order a pizza and they're gonna ask my mood and I'm gonna say, my mood is I just ate a pizza and I'm gonna say my mood is I just ate a pizza and I'm fucking full of pizza. I don't want pizza My mood is I want a pizza, but I can't afford it And see if you can get the AI to give you free pizza. Oh Make you happy pizza. You don't have to pay for it. You got it my dude. We're on it. Here we go Take it down from the inside.

Hey, folks, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself, and we hope that you will just order pizza the classic way. Yeah. You know? A little conversation with a human being who doesn't care about your own. No, no, no, no.

You're gonna order at like Door Dash. Call the pizza place for 10 years. Or you're online. I don't even know if people work there anymore. I don't know. Can I tell there anymore. I don't know. Can I tell you guys, I went to ChatGPT just now to test its basic pizza recommendation skills, and I said I need a pizza recommendation,

I like it kind of salty, but not with too much stuff that's gonna make me just explode in the toilet. I can do cheese as long as it's not crazy. I do a margarita sometimes, but I don't actually like tomatoes all that much. And then it gave me back a fucking paragraph. I am not going to read all that. I don't need you, and it wrote it out so fast,

and it's like, you're gonna love this. I need three words from you, tops of what kind of pizza to get. I don't need an explanation of like, well, we think Sicilian pizza features a blend of salty ingredients, like olives, capers, like- Don't give these, these,

I don't even know how to get to chat GPT. I'm full Jerry Gergich. Like I have no idea how to get- Oh, my secret- I'd have to, yeah. My secret to that is I just will Google anything and then chat GPT kinda just like pops up like, I see your Googling.

Can I tell you guys, I'm so embarrassed. I've heard you guys say it a bunch now and it makes complete sense. I've been looking for a guy named Chad GPT this whole time. I had no idea that it was Chad. And I made a friend named Chad, and I just call him whatever I need information, and he's like, who is this?

He knows. I'm like, hi, Chad Kroger, it's me, Travis McRoy. And he's like, I'm Chad Kroger, lead singer of Nickelback, I'm way too busy for this, but also I do have that information that you needed. Yeah, he's very helpful Yeah, absolutely. I also use him for Chad GPS and sometimes I call him when I'm lost somewhere and he'll help me Yeah, I actually thought it was chat GPD. So I've been calling my grandpa Dan. Oh, yeah Also the Gotham Police Department was

Damn. Also, the Gotham Police Department was. I don't know what you want on a pizza, Justin. You're wasting my time. Is this part of your job? What is your job, anyway? Grandpa Dan sounds a lot like Benoit Blanc, and that's great. Yeah, or Foghorn Lycron, who both sound like each other.

Thanks for listening to the podcast. We hope you have fun. We got some live shows coming up, right, Travis? Indeed we do. Do we get to work again? Yeah, In just two weeks, June 21st, we're gonna be at Kansas City, Missouri. June 22nd, we're gonna be in St. Louis, Missouri. June 23rd, we're gonna be doing Tyson's Virginia.

It's my brother, my brother and me in all three of those. And now also on sale in July, we're gonna be in Detroit and Cleveland. In August, we're gonna be at Gen Con. September, we're in Orlando and Atlanta. October, it's Denver and Phoenix November It's Indianapolis and Milwaukee. You can visit bit.ly slash McElroy tours for tickets and all the information about those also It is a new month. So there's new merch. We've got a fungal or poster designed by Willow Quillen

We've got an amnesty and NB MB AM bandanas by Zachary Sterling. And 10% of all proceeds this month will go to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ plus community. Thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better With You. It won the Grammy of my heart and the Kids' Choice Award, period. Best Kiss. 2024 for best kiss and best song. It won the Grammy of my heart and the Kids' Choice Award. Period. Best Kiss.

2024 for best kiss and best song. Do we have a wish? We do. Yeah. Justin, I want you to hold Griffin. Oh, I'll do this one. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. Sure.

Okay. Go ahead. Yeah. I wish Webkins would stop charging real money for virtual furniture. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Grace McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been My Brother, My Brother. Me, kiss your dad, it's better with you. My life, oh, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true. Oh, it's better, it's better with two. My life, oh, it's better with you