My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 715: What if it IS Piss Man?

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

It really is just a coincidence that there's so much foot content in this episode. There's other stuff, too, like scary light-night food haunts, mysterious nicknames, and hot legs. But there's also AI-generated feet pics. Suggested talking points: Pedal-Powered Bidets, White Noise and Wet Air, For a Good Foot, Kids Stay Close, This is the Night CastleEquality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach

My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Travis McElroy. What's poppin' Trav Nation? I'm your sweet baby brother,

30 under 30 media luminary Griffin. I just wanna point out everybody, very exciting day over here at Trav Nation. Getting some new shingles on my roof. Oh yeah. To stop a major leak in my front door area. I love that. So if you hear some hammering in the background,

it's been going on since 7 a.m. Sometimes it rains in Trav Nation, but not in this incredible, hole-proof house. Yeah. Why, we're vacuum-assueling the house, so no water or air can get in. It's a very exciting day here. Yes, Trap Nation, a biodome. Not a lot of people know that.

It's a, he actually, a lot of people are getting solar panels. Trap Nation has hydro panels. When it rains, it powers the whole city. Exactly. Exactly. I don't know. I hit a powers the whole city. Exactly. It's clean. I don't know, I hit a button, I think. Nothing going on in there.

There's trouble in his bubble. All vegan, except for Travis, all vegan. But when it doesn't rain, I've got nothing. I've got absolutely no power, no air, nothing. Well, you presumably have some sort of hand cranked, like people are working to keep you in comfort personally. Oh God. Get the kids on the fun bikes.

The fun bikes that make the house go. Get the kids to make the house go with the fun bikes. Yes, you know city bikes, these are shitty bikes. They don't go anywhere, but they do power Travis's bidet. Yes, specifically. Specifically. Well, I can pedal while I'm on the bidet too, which is just two birds, one stone.

When Travis tours, hotels in this country, and this is my number one problem, don't have bidets in them usually, Travis has his own sort of like pocket-sized super soaker battery operated. I request bidets at every hotel I go to, which brings me to another point. I think it's time for another-

You're a bad person. Well, yeah, I'm a bad person. And I don't really do that. With a dry crusty butt hole forever. I don't really do that, but it is time for another celebrity check-in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, okay, great.

Yeah, so I've got a list of celebrities here, and I've got some requests that they make. This is a mixture of this one of dressing room requests and hotel room requests. I'm gonna give you the list of the celebrities in no particular order, as well as the list of the requests, and you're going to match them. I love this. Make sense? Yes.

Okay, your celebrities are Post Malone, Pharrell, The Weeknd, Rod Stewart, and Lenny Kravitz. At least one of those is gonna be pretty, I feel like if one of these things is like trains, little trains for me to play with, that's Rod Stewart all day, every day. Okay, do you want me to give you the list again? Oh yeah.

Okay, in another different order, cause I can't remember the order I just said. Pharrell, The Weeknd, Post Malone, Rod Stewart and Lenny Kravitz. Got you. Okay, you ready? Easy, no problem. This is a hotel room request.

Bowl of grated Parmesan and shredded Parmesan, grilled asparagus, no oil or salt. All right. That's a hotel room request. Kick ass. Hotel room request, give me my options again. Post Malone, The Weeknd, Pharrell, Lenny Kravitz, Rod Stewart.

Correct. Lenny. Lenny Kravitz, Dead 2 Rights, it's Lenny Kravitz. Can I tell you, this is gonna really be out of left field? It's the two different types of, I'm getting big Post Malone energy from this. Wow. Isn't that weird?

Isn't that out of type? Is that your guess, Griffin? Yeah, it's Post Malone. No, the correct answer was Lenny Kravitz. That's one point for Justin. Justin got it, damn it. What's up? Why does, hey Lenny, hey Leonard, it's the same cheese.

It's the same cheese in two different forms. Leonard, it's the same cheese, my man. Lenny Kravitz, people like ice water, which is two different forms of water. So maybe Mr. Kravitz just likes cheese in all of its state. You know what I mean? Gas. Well, not big cheese. He doesn't want big cheese.

He wants small cheese and then microscopic cheese. He doesn't want solid cheese. No way. Okay, I got one for you, Trav. What? I got one for you. Hold on. Six cans of ginger ale on ice.

And I'm just, you've not given me any options, Justin. No options, you have to guess. So from the entire- Just hear this, six cans of ginger ale on ice. Justin McRoy. Is that us? One bag pita chips. That's us, Justin.

You're talking about the McRoy brothers. You're reading our old, our old, our old writer. Chocolate or fruity candy, we're not picky. That's a trap actually. That's literally what it says on our writer. And I, just to make it clear. This is from 2018 though. This is from six years ago.

In case you didn't know, when someone makes a writer, they pay for it out of pocket. So basically we have given them a grocery list for things that we wanted. And a lot of that ends up just going home with us of like, thanks for the bag of candy that I paid for. Okay. That's so tight. Okay, so next one. Welch's Grape Fruit Snacks, Snickers and Bud Light.

I mean us, this one's our, Justin just said it. I will say one other thing about our list. I don't wanna make us sound solo maintenance. These days, I have added one finicky item to the rider and it is best local donuts. What is the best donuts in the city? I need that from you and the crew picks. So it's like, it's a stealer's choice.

And then it's fun because I tell people on the crew that that's on the rider and then they see the donuts they got. And then every time, oh no. Oh no. They fucked you over You're gonna need to go down to pals You go to three blocks down this you got to get there at 6 45 in the morning The best is when we do like a Taz and my brother my brother me in the same place and the next day There's a different box of donuts and they're like, no, yeah

Okay, okay Welch is a hotel room hotel room request Welch's grapefruit snacks stickers and Bud Light No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was aspirational for me, for like where I, like wouldn't it be fun if Post Malone was actually Mr. Two Cheese Asparagus guy and not Bud Light and Fruit Snacks guy? Okay, are you ready? Hotel Room Request. We've got, to remind us, still left. Post Malone seems nice. Pharrell, Rod Stewart, The Weeknd.

Okay. Okay. Hotel Room Request, humidifier and air purifier. Rod Stewart. And reportedly, And reportedly took both of them when they left. Then say it again, hold on. Humidifier and air purifier and reportedly took both of them when they left. Okay, this is what, okay,

let me explain why this is Rod Stewart for sure. Okay. Rod Stewart is getting up in years a little bit, gotta protect the instrument. That rasp is a very finely tuned thing. You gotta have the humidity. I'm in my head now as to whether or not people born in the last 20 years even know who Rod Stewart is moving on. He was a gravedigger, was his first job.

This was the first thing he did. At first he was too nervous to perform facing the audience. He would turn his back to the audience because he was so nervous. And that's why he has an air purifier? This is somebody who appreciates the value of money. Sometimes we leave the fruit tray in the fridge untouched and we beg people, please take this home with you.

Thanks for coming to the show. Take this home. He appreciates that humidifier. That costs a couple hundo. And he is taking it with him because he probably bought it by our writer laws. Well, that's a hotel room request. Important to note, hotel room request.

Oh no, not a writer. I don't know if you're paying for it. Still Rod Stewery. He's gonna clean them out. Griffin. Oh gosh. It's the taking it that is the wild part to me. Like both of these things, I can see wanting to have that.

And maybe you're just used to the white noise and the wet air. I did it. We travel, we've traveled with humidifiers sometimes. Absolutely, absolutely. I have a traveling humidifier. It's a little donut that I screw a water bottle into. It's amazing.

It is the taking it that is beyond the pale for me. I do not think that that is the gambit of a younger man. And for that reason, I am going to agree with Justin and say Rod Stewart. No, I'm sorry, that was The Weeknd. The Weeknd! The Weeknd! The Weeknd!

Now, we have two left. Rod Stewart. I appreciate wanting the comfort of knowing that you could humidify any room at any time. That's cool. Like, the idea that you'd be like, God, the air's a little dry in here and the weekend's like, let me get my suitcase.

I got you. Gotcha. Hey, help me carry this. This is 80 pounds. This is 80 pounds. Hey, when you're having an exciting weekend, you gotta make sure you're also doing self care. Okay, we've got Pharrell and Rod Stewart

and the last two requests, there's a dressing room request, framed photo of Carl Sagan, or hotel room requests, 13 soccer balls. Rod Stewart and Pharrell. It's. And these are according to once again, Dumois, Business Insider and Star Insider.

Okay, like obviously he wants us to say Rod Stewart, right? These are two different ones. These are two different ones. So these are the two we've got at, okay. One of them is Pharrell, one of them are Rod Stewart. Pharrell, okay, the soccer balls are Rod Stewart. Pharrell wants a picture of Carl Sagan. Framed, just to be clarified, it's a framed photo.

Well, nobody wants a loose picture of Carl Sagan. Can't have a loose Carl Sagan photo. What am I gonna do with this? I think soccer balls is Rod Stewart, and I think, I know soccer balls, 13 soccer balls to the room is not Pharrell. Carl's saying I could go either way. Soccer balls has to be Rod Stewart,

and thereby process of elimination, I think Pharrell is the Sagan photo. You are correct. Rod Stewart dreamed of being a soccer player before becoming it, so he wants quote, 13 soccer balls to kick around in his hotel room. Hey Rod, hey Rod. Glad you didn't Rod.

Hey Rod, what are you doing with the balls? All I can assume is he's kicking them right off the balcony. That's the only thing I can assume he's doing. It would be amazing. Maybe not on purpose, but it's happened enough. It would be amazing if you saw a soccer ball falling from 170 feet up in the air and you watch then Rod Stewart just gives you a thumbs up.

Yeah, heads! And Pharrell, apparently the framed photo of Carl Sagan's start isn't a joke, but now he puts it on every writer. So I don't know how many framed photos, maybe he gives them away. I don't know. Is that his maybe brown M&Ms?

Maybe, but the winner of this week's Checking In is Justin, thanks to his Lenny Kravitz. Damn it. Graded and shredded promise on the book. I Googled Rod Stewart 13 soccer balls, and there's a video called Hot Legs, Rod Kicks Soccer Balls into Crowd. I guess this is a song he does called Hot Legs, Rod Kicks Soccer Balls Into Crowd. I guess this is a song he does called Hot Legs,

and maybe it's about how good he is at soccer. Where he drills soccer balls at his audience? And he just blasts, I guess. That's how he gets them to leave. When they're on that third encore chant, he's like, I know how to clear them out, and he just starts just direct lining to the face, soccer balls.

Also, there's a shit ton of signed Rod Stewart soccer balls. Also, there's a shit ton of signed Rod Stewart soccer balls on eBay. So like, is that this guy's deal? You think he signs them and then he kicks them off the balcony? He kicks them right into the crowd. Hot Legs, what a good song, Rod.

Hey Rod, I don't care what anybody says about you. You got some great tracks, man. Hot Legs, Rod Stewart's soccer song. Is that full title? This is an advice show still, and so I'd like to help some people just for a change of pace. Recently in a mutually beneficial agreement, my sister sold me her old car. It's in good condition, but it came with bumper stickers she's previously affixed. Here's my question. How long should I wait before I remove her old bumper stickers?

They're not problematic or offensive, but they don't really represent my interests. I don't wanna seem rude if I remove them immediately, but I also don't wanna drive around town with stolen, foul, or fandoms I don't share. What's the statute of limitations of bumper stickers from a previous owner that's from A. Justin in Maryland? They also, additional details, we live together, so she'd notice the alteration right away.

One of the stickers is for a non-problematic political candidate I didn't vote for. Also, if it matters, this is a 2011 Toyota Prius. Of course it matters. Of course it does. I think that there's an important, important variable in this, which they included, thank you, sold you her car, you paid money for it.

Yes. I think if it was given to you with no money exchanged, then it's harder to justify like removing their bumper stickers from it. But the second you have purchased it from them, like now it's your, like, but I think you should have done it right away. Like get the keys right away.

I'm gonna continue to push this show in a more anti-capitalist bit. Fuck yeah. The car is yours once it's given to you. If money exchanges are not, it's your car. It's in your soul. Sort of a pro-capitalist bent actually, juice it feels like. What?

I mean, it just feels like- The thing with Justin saying is my point is invalid because Justin wants to seem woke. I think it's what's happening there. Not seem woke, Travis. Be. I'll go the what's happening there. Not seem woke, Travis. Be. I'll go the extreme capitalist route of saying, you worked hard for that money, and you spent it,

and now you own that fucking car, and no one, including the government, can tell you what bumper stickers you should or shouldn't be. I'm gonna go even further to say, Holy shit! You need to steal some money from your sister. The man that your sister give you money for taking this 2011 Prius off her hands, right?

That's what I'm saying. You're doing her service by taking this car off her hand. I'm gonna go one step further, okay? Tell me about your grind set. Why are you driving a 2011 Prius? You should be cruising around the neighborhood in a 2025 Toyota Prius. You need to find somebody with a 2012 Prius

and you're gonna trade with them. Then you're gonna find somebody with a 2013 Prius. You're gonna trade with them. And you're gonna keep going until you have a 2047 Prius. A Prius for the future. Yeah, someone's gonna try and trade your car for some seeds. Do that. Do that. Those are good.

Every time. Those are good seeds. That's how Mark Cuban got where he is today, climbed a giant beanstalk. He's just trading cars for seeds. He owned a bunch of basketball teams. He sold one for seeds. He has huge pennies.

Listen, we can all agree on capitalism, but I think one thing we can agree on is we as a people, and I mean us and and listeners of the show, we gotta start acting faster. Because there's a valley of weird that begins the moment after something happens. And you don't know if it's a valley or a chasm. And it could just keep getting weirder.

But almost without exception, the least weird time to do something is right then. Because the catalyst is already clear. The catalyst is already clear. The event just happened. Yes, you're now having to manufacture a catalyst and that's unfortunate for you. Because if you wait four months

to remove the bumper sticker, the question will become why now? Why now? Every day's weirder. Every day's weirder. But if you do it right away, right away. Not actionable. In this case, I will admit, because of chronology.

But, yeah. I, oh no. I should Google and make sure we're not actively selling bumper stickers right now before I say what I'm about to say. I don't have any bumper stickers on my car, nor have I ever put a bumper sticker on a car that I haven't owned.

We are selling a lot of bumper stickers. Fuck, okay, well you should do that. Sorry, let me rephrase that. We're selling a wide variety of bumper stickers. That's a better way of putting it. I'm saying, when I'm out there on the road, on the battlefield, I don't want to show my hand, I don't want anybody out there to know anything about me

while I'm sharing the highway with them that they can then use against me. In some sort of- Well, I want them to know that like, you know, if you can read this, get off my ass. And I want them to know like, there's an upside down bumper sticker that's like, if you can read this, flip me over.

I'd rather be fishing. I want them to know, you know, ass gas or grass. That's so much, you have just, what? You have just shown all of your weaknesses. Yeah. To your fellow, your fellow drivers out there. I guess I'm just a little more trusting than you are, Griffin. I guess I just have an open heart and an open mind

and I'd rather be fishing. I guess that's the difference between us. That said, if you do have a spare $9 and love the Knights Templar II Wacky Wizards, we've got a killer bumper sticker for you. It says take over the banks right on it. Yeah, there you go. It's a great bumper sticker.

That's cool. I think honestly the only bumper stickers anything I identify I would put on my car is related to the stuff we make, which is very on brand for me. And so on brand for me, I've stopped myself from doing it, I think is where I'm at. That's good, that's good that you're able to recognize that.

But am I hiding my light under a bushel? Yes, because if the light is out there while you're on the highway, people are gonna figure you out and know exactly how to get to you. I don't remember that part of the song, Griffin, where it's like, this little light of mine, better not let people see it.

I will know everything of value. Be careful out there. That song was written pre-cars. That's fair. They didn't know what it was like there. They didn't know Lightning McQueen. They didn't know Toemator. They didn't know these people, right?

They hadn't entered the universe yet. I, on the last car I disposed of, I had a bumper sticker on it that was from this art collective called Mischief, and it was a number that it said, for a good foot, text this number. And it had a phone number on it. If you text the phone number, it would send you an AI-generated picture of a foot. And I hope that person got that sticker off really quickly.

I hope that they didn't have to live with that at all, whoever ended up with that. I'm just saying that I wish we lived in a world where human beings could send feed to people instead of it being chaos. Thank you! Thank you! I mean, I'm just saying.

Thank you. Decriminalized foot pics, am I right, the government? Come on, the government. Come on, the government. Come on, the government. Come on. Hey, I recently moved to a small rural town where our delivery driver stops to chat when he delivers a package.

Every time he drops something off, he gives me a small milk bone for the dog. I do not have a dog. I have accepted several at this point, but they're starting to pile up. Presumably not dogs, presumably milk bones. How do I convince them to stop giving me milk bones? That's from Milk Bone Motherload in Michigan.

P.S. I have accepted four milk bones, if that helps. It does, God, fucking slam dunk on the extra deeds today. We would much rather have too much information to work off of than not enough. I will point back to Justin's point on the previous question. Perhaps the right time to act on this first been the first time he said for the dog,

oh, I don't have a dog. What a wild thing to try to cloak. For the moment you didn't say it, you tumbled over a ledge, whoa, and the ground's rushing up except there's no ground. It's just getting weirder. Yeah. Now if you say, I don ground's rushing up, except there's no ground. It's just getting weirder. Yeah, now if you say, I don't have a dog, it's likely that delivery driver's brain

is gonna fill in anymore. Right, yeah, well here's more note-bones because of how sad you are about your dog. These are for future dogs. So just off the top of my head, next time you get your, when you get your fifth bone, you say, I can't help myself. And then you eat it. And you say, I lied to you. I don't have a dog. I love to eat these

milk bones. They're so good for my gum health. A shiny coat. Do you order like horse compression socks from pets.com because they're the only brand that works and then the mailman's like, must have a dog. What's your vibe like that you have any signage that would indicate there's a dog present? Beware of dog. There is a large beware of dog sign.

Right, just right there. They're talking about that dog in them. They got that dog in them, beware of doggy me, right? Maybe of a next door neighbor that has a barking dog? I mean, when did we get to a point where delivery people are giving like payola to dogs? Well, they're trying to change dogs' opinions. I get that.

It's like they're trying to turn the dog demographic towards their side at this point. You see a lot of like pro delivery driver propaganda on like social media of like, look how friendly this delivery driver was to this dog. And I'm like, I'm not buying it. I'm not buying it. Maybe on the fifth dog bone, you say,

okay, I think that's enough. Now I'm ready to get a dog. And you didn't wanna get- I got enough of a reserve. I didn't know where to get milk bones. And so I was waiting till I had enough milk bones to justify getting a dog. There is one way out of this.

Damn it. Damn it, question asked. Justin, are you sure? I wish it didn't, no, I am sure, Trav. And I wish it didn't have to be this way, but here's what you're gonna do. Cause it's the only thing less weird than telling them you don't have a dog.

When they bring that filth milk bone, I'm gonna need the fifth milk bone. Not the filth milk bone. No, that's a different thing This is my filth bone When they bring that fifth milk bone, I'm gonna need you to hold it up I want to let you look up straight in the eye and I'm gonna need you to take a big bite and say no Yes, Kurt now I know I did just say that. Moments ago, my brother. Now wait, my brother in Christ. Moments ago.

I'm agreeing with him. I'm agreeing. No, Justin, there's a difference between agreeing. But you set that shit up like you were uncorking the seal of some forgotten scroll, not that you were saying some pretty funny shit that I saw. Did you hear me? Did you hear me say Did you hear me?

You know what's hard about it? You know what's hard about it? I agree with the point Justin made earlier. That is agreeing. Can I say something though? Can I say something about what's happened here? This is unavoidable. And let me tell you what happens sometimes.

The brain needs time to make up jokes. Yes, absolutely. The only time that brains can make up jokes is while the other two people are talking, right? Sure. So you need to sometimes step, and it's a delicate point. Yeah. Of course. But sometimes you need to step away from the show.

The listening. Yeah. The listening to make up the next joke. Now, does this work? Absolutely, every time. But there's one problem. What if while you are writing that joke in your head, a very similar joke is being performed at the same time? This is unavoidable.

So what does that say about our relative joke factories, Jews, that I thought there's- Well, of course there's been overlaps, Griffin. There's overlaps in taste, which is certainly going to lead us to similar conclusions, some of which are, let's be honest, self-evident. Yeah, right. But I can't be penalized for not,

I mean, if you think about it really, what you guys are saying, I can't be penalized for not listening to you when I'm making up a joke. What happens if maybe one of our joke factories works a lot faster than the other ones? Like wicked fast. And we can't finish listening to the thing

the person was saying and we have to interrupt them to make that joke before the workers go on strike or something. Isn't that interesting? That is interesting and that is a different challenge, but it's something that we have to struggle with and I worry sometimes the listeners don't appreciate the nuance, the effort, and I feel like taking people

inside a little bit can help them understand how that kind of thing happens. Yeah, we get the message alive of like, it really feels like they're competing with each other and not really like working together, but like guys, listen, do you want a version of this show that's just listening? No.

Because that's not gonna be very good either. Eventually we have to, after the joke factories have made the jokes, we gotta blast them off. And there's no such thing as too much inventory. The boss loves when there's too many jokes. I've got it guys. When he hands you the next milk boat, take a big bite of it, right?

And just say, yum, yum, yummy. I've got it guys when he hands you the next milk boat pick a big bite of it, right? Coming daddy now Travis, I will say something interesting. It's called the rule of threes Yes, and that means people forget about this you get the person that does the joke the first time and that's hilarious Yeah, and then you get the person brings it back the third time. that's hilarious. Yeah. And then you get the person who brings it back the third time, that's hilarious. Somebody's gotta die. Yeah, Justin, I appreciate your sacrifice. Somebody's gonna die. You're a martyr. You're a martyr.

It's not gonna land for one of us. And I'm happy to jump on that. I've lived a good long 43 odd years, you know? Yeah. I'm fine, I don't need more wins. No. My kids are healthy, you know. Yeah.

I appreciate you, Justin. Glad somebody does, okay. Well. Should we go to the money zone? Let's do it. Let's appreciate them. ["It's Better With You"] It's better, it's better with you

Shdimes is back in the house with us today. Wow. I love these little sticky guys. When I have to go to the post office. Yeah, sip the tea. I, well, it's kind of annoying because- Pour that tea on me daddy.. Well, my post office- I'd rather not soak me in your tea. Though the street is like-

Swirl me around like a biscotti. The street to the post office from my house has like a split in the middle of it, so I can't turn left into the post office. I have to do this U-turn maneuver or I have to go this really circuitous route to get to it. Drag him. I would much rather not leave my house,

generally speaking, as a rule. And stamps.com is here to help me. Travis, this horny man for Stamps.com is- What? How is that horny? Yeah. It's a little much. It's a little much. And I get, that's not me saying that, Travis.

That's Shnumps saying that. They sent me a text message saying Travis is being too weird about it. Okay, I'll try to be more normal. Tell me about stamps.com Here it comes right down the middle. You can take care of your mailing and shipping wherever you are There's a mobile app stamps.com app You don't even you can be not even at your house all you need you gotta get your computer and your printer you print it Out the thing and they have a free scale for you so that you can get all the postage right If you're a small business if you're just a person who mails a lot of stuff, Stamps.com

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I think it's digital. What? Digital's a hard word. Digital, digital. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page and enter code, my brother. Oh, who's that? Who's that little guy popping up there?

Is that Justin's foot? Oh, hey guys. Hey, how's it going? Justin Yurt? Extraordinarily flexible. Yeah, actually kind of- I'm feeling really comfortable today. I'm actually really weirded out,

picturing the geography of your body right now. I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts. Oh, a shirt for a foot is a sock. Yeah, I gotcha. That's your hand. That's your hand in that sock. Sorry, what? Okay, the logo is on a sock.

No, that's a foot! I don't understand why you have to- So wait, that's your foot bending back? Do that shit again, your foot bends- No, God, now your right foot? Hey, everybody, I'd prefer to be taken- Justin, your toes are extraordinarily flat. You're always talking to Justin!

How are you bending them back so far? You're always talking to Justin, why'd you talk to me? Jesus Christ. As soon as the heel dropped out of frame, my brain couldn't handle it. It's like that picture, you know, the model where it spins around and it's like, which side is the back, which is the front?

I don't know what I'm looking at. Is it a goose or a witch? Justin, your toes bend back to a nearly 90 degree angle. His foot is to his ear, folks. What is going on with your body, my man? You guys are struggling, so I'm gonna take the sock off. Cause I think you're having- No, no, now it's illegal Justin.

Hello? Now it's illegal, now we can't show it. Now we have to blow that out if we use this video. It's from my foot, yeah it says huge comfort. Is that someone else's foot? It's my foot! Let me talk about the fucking socks! But there's no way that's your foot!

They're comfortable! They don't cost a lot of money! They give them to people experiencing homelessness when you buy one! They're great socks! It's bombas. It's bombas! And I'm sorry I tried to bring my foot into it! Yeah, thank you!

I'm sorry! It's a fine foot, juice, I'm not upset about the foot, I'm upset with the ways that you're able to orbit it around your body. That one wasn't my foot and that's what's fucking me up. I'm not upset about the foot. I'm upset with the ways that you're able to orbit it around your body. Get it out of there. That one wasn't my foot, and that's what's fucking me up. And you gotta stop referencing stuff people can't see, Trae. We take video, Justin.

It's distracting in the audio pro, there's no way. Justin, your feet make up, you're making them perfect. It's not on TikTok. Your toes are in a perfect cascade, my man. It's an- I'm enjoying everything about it. Why is it, what's it doing in front of your head? It is, don't mess with the Zo-Han over in Justin's studio right now.

It's incredible. Get both of them. Bottom up there. What? No, don't. All fucking- Bombers has the best comfort, the best style. We wear them every day. They really are picky about socks.

Like a certain height, like a certain amount of tension. And once I dialed into my fit and style with Bombas, it's all I wear. They're fantastic. They fit just in insanely flexible chimpanzee feet. And that's huge. Get comfy this spring and give back with Bombas. Head on over to bombus.com slash my brother and use code my brother

for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombus.com B O M B A S dot com slash my brother and use code my brother at checkout. People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Which is why here on Just the Zoo of Us, we judge them by so much more. We rate animals out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics taking into consideration each animal's true strengths. Like a pigeon's ability to tell a Monet from a Picasso, or a polar bear's ability to play

basketball. Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, and more join us to share their unique insight into the animal's world. Listen with friends and family of all ages on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Cailin. And together we are The Flophouse, a long-running podcast on the Maximal Fun Network where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it.

And because we're so long-running, maybe you haven't given us a chance. I get it. But you don't actually have to know anything about previous episodes to enjoy us, and I promise you that if you find our voices irritating, we grow endearing over time. Perhaps you listened to one of our old episodes and decided that we were dumb and immature. Well, we've been doing this a while now. We have become smarter and more mature, and generally nicer to Dan. But we are only human, so no promises. Find The Flophouse on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

I want a munch! Squawk! I want to munch. Squad. I want to munch. Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. And today we're taking it back

to where it all started, White Castle. Oh yeah. And it's where it all ended. Wait, what started at White Castle? Fast food. Just as an idea. Okay. Juice, I'm looking at these guys and I don't know what they are. Before you tell me what they are.

Can I tell you? I'm not gonna tell you. Okay. You have to tell me what is this. Viewers at home, listeners at home? Yeah. When you see a promotional photo from a fast food place,

they do all of these little tricks to make the food look as appetizing as possible. I saw a thing once about McDonald's burgers and the stuff they would spray on them and the filler they would put on them and how they would spread things apart with toothpicks and stuff. This is the most depressing, unappetizing,

this could be a still life about like depression. Yeah, it's what it is is you see three cutting boards on top of each other and then spilling down them is what looks like if you took cake donuts and stomped them flat, removed every bit of joy and life that they might contain. And then put some powdered, these are chicken rings, guys. Oh my God.

White Castle is bringing back Why are they so flat? Hidden Valley Ranch chicken rings and is introducing Smoky BBQ. Okay, so they've done this before? Yeah, so here's, I think a pretty wild way to start. White Castle is giving chicken and value the royal treatment with the return

of Hidden Valley Ranch chicken rings and the introduction of smoky BBQ chicken rings. I will say you may be giving the idea of value the royal treatment, whatever that means, but I'm pretty sure that if there was a king of chickens, he would not be, unless he was deposed, a mad despot, or dethroned in some way,

he would not be dispensed with as rings. Like a Nero of chickens. He would not be ringed. I'm also just looking at these and I'm starting to come back to the flatness of them. I've seen chickens. I've seen a chicken. Not an inherently flat creature. Nor tubular.

Nor tubular. So the things that would have to, the process of this. These are like a half inch thick, I would say. If that. If that, but Trav, the problem is, I know what you're suggesting, but it becomes almost instantly a chicken donut, and they can't sell it.

Yes, but what I'm saying is, these things are breaded and fried, they're battered and fried. I can tell you just by looking at this, that the batter to chicken ratio on this is abhorrent. Outrageous. They're trying to give you, they're trying to stretch chicken as far as it goes. They don't have a lot of them left.

And they have stretched it into a sort of four dimensional torus shape, which is kind of cool. Yes, while also flattening it. How do you stretch and flatten at the same time? It's amazing. I don't know. The Hidden Valley Ranch chicken rings are dusted with authentic Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning, a tangy blend of garlic and chives

with just the right touch of buttermilk. I'm sorry, did you, a press release for Chicken Rings at White Castle just presume to tell me what Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning, what is ranch? What is ranch? You don't need, that's not your department. So you don't know what ranch is, but you're reading about chicken rings. I would also, I would just, once again, not to point out the futility of man, but it's

not like combining ranch with dipable chicken shapes is out of, it's not like before this, I didn't know how to get ranch flavor onto my chicken. Okay, but Travis, you've just said something incredibly wrongheaded and wronghearted, which is that I think that fried breaded chicken is the most dippable food substance on the earth, and the circle is the least dippable shape. That is true.

That is available to us. I need something long and stick-like in order to really get down in there and stuff. Even a square would have corners. Yeah. These are not about dipping, I don't think. No. No, clearly, they had to find a different way

to incorporate the ranch flavor, because now we've got like a manhole cover situation of like we made them circular so they can't fall through the hole. Yeah. That's what we're dealing with here. This next one's, the chicken rings showcase our culinary team's creativity through bold flavors

that promise to take your taste buds on a wild ride, says Chef Philip Bock, the head chef at White Castle. Hey, pal, you put ranch on chicken. You need to call- Hold on to your ass. We're making a left turn. Hey, listen, every single person on this call has created two human beings

that have discovered this innovation on their own, okay? You put, let's just calm down, you didn't even come up with your own ranch, you just went to Kroger and got the hidden valley. Okay, these crafted seasonings, crafted seasonings. I mean, I guess in a sense- Isn't that they're not naturally occurring in nature? I guess, like I can't go to a cave

and find a ranch deposit and scrape some dust off of it. I guess in that sense, it's an artisanal good. We've been strip mining Ranch Mountain for years. The Moana sequel is all about her finding an island of ranch nut trees that her people can farm for the delicious ranch within. It's the hidden valley. We were way finders.

The chicken ring's versatility allows craver, okay guys. Sorry, back up. I got to lose some of that. Take another round of that, I got lost in that. Yeah, I'm gonna, I wanna stop, the image is, I think, too much. Yeah. Okay.

The chicken rings versatility allows cravers to pair them with their favorite White Castle sliders or enjoy them as the main entree. Okay. Okay. Huh. They're saying it's not a meal unless it is. So am I a Craver?

You're a Craver. I'm the Craver. Can I tell you how that first part of that sentence hit me first, Juice, of pairing it with a White Castle Entree? I thought they were suggesting that the circular shape meant that you could slip slide this into any sandwich or burger that is offered.

Like physically pair it? Like physically it can. It's the timbit that goes inside. I think that's less disturbing to me than like, you know how you might get onion rings or fries with a burger? Instead just get a side of chicken with your burger. It's like removing any semblance of like,

there's a vegetable attached here. It's the kind of shit that you just don't see as much in Munch Squad anymore, where people are just fully word salad their way through an entire press release. I mean, what is it, The chicken rings versatility, okay. The fact that it's a ring of chicken, I guess. Yeah.

It can do anything. Allows cravers, that's wild, to pair them with their favorite White Castle sliders. Maybe they mean like literally, like you open up, is that it? That's what I mean. Or open up the slider. Maybe it means like, hey.

You squish it in the middle? They're cheap enough, bud, get them as a side. No, no, no, but it's set, no, but that's not what the sentence is saying, Travis. The sentence is saying, the versatile shape of this chicken meat makes it great to go with the burgers. And it's like, why would the circular shape

have anything to do with, I don't order, I don't go to the fast food restaurant and say, let me get, well would the circular shape have anything to do with, I don't order, I don't go to the fast food restaurant and say, let me get, well, I have to have one circle and one square in here. Right. Many vegetables are circles when you take a slice of them, so perhaps they're saying this is a good way

to trick your brain into thinking it's having vegetables. Maybe, maybe. This is, hey guys, they're also the perfect treat during a visit to Night Castle. What? Sorry, what? Sorry, sorry, what? They're also the perfect treat

during a visit to Night Castle. Is that the vampire's plate? Like what? I'm gonna tell you, it's a late night oasis where customers can order any menu favorite, any time. Huh. More than two thirds of White Castle's are open 24 seven. Now guys, what time does White Castle become Night Castle?

This is not in the press release. I'm asking you, for you, if you bring your, you're not gonna bring your family to Night Castle or late night oasis where Kraywitz can order all their menu favorites anytime. That's adults only. In your heart, when does White Castle become Night Castle? What time did Adult Swim start on Cartoon Network?

Cause I think- Yeah, I'm thinking of the- I think FCC decency laws kick off at 10. So I'm gonna say 10 PM is when we get Night Castle. I would like to imagine though, that one could track sundown and see the darkness move across the city. And as the darkness touches the White Castle, something flips, not necessarily mechanically,

but emotionally and mentally, in the hearts and minds of the employees and residents. It just becomes galactic bowling inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you see the fluorescence kick on, you see the black lights. What time, Chus? Just with the fluorescence kick on, you see the black lights.

What time, Chuce? I have, like after rehearsals, I have had my kids out past 10 p.m. There's a reality at which I could bring my kids into, no, we don't have White Castles, but there's a reality at which, but I do think it should feel frightening. Yeah.

I feel like if I bring my, I feel like it's okay for me to bring them at Knight Castle if I feel unwelcome. I just don't wanna feel frightening. Yeah. I feel like if I bring my, like I feel like it's okay for me to bring the midnight castle if I feel unwelcome. Yeah. I just don't want to feel safe. Justin, when you say frightening, do you mean like spooky frightening or like, I'm not welcoming?

I don't- Like not safe, like kids stay close. Yeah. This is the night castle. This is the night castle. Let's normalize names of restaurants or businesses that are somewhat occult and fantastical and scary. I think that when you're driving down the street

and it's your first time in a place that has any fast food and you see McDonald's or Burger King or the Knight Castle. The Knight Castle. Yeah, every time. It does make a big promise though. I would say if I went to a fast food restaurant called the Knight Castle, I'm being promised a certain experience

that just a regular White Castle experience would not satisfy. I feel like their first opening offer on that name was Weed Joint City, a place for stoners to come after they smoked weed. And then they're like, okay, that's a bit much. We need to step it back a bit. All right, boys, these come in orders of 12. That's so much. Wait, it's a bit much. We need to step it back a bit. All right, boys. These come in orders of 12.

That's so much! Wait, it's so much. I'm gonna count to three, and after I say three, I want you to both say the dollar amount that you would pay. Not that you would pay, but you think is being asked. Yes, I got you. For 12 chicken wings.

Easy. I'm ready. One, two, three. Five, 99. Six, 99. Four dollars. Chicken easy I'm ready one two three five ninety nine four dollars four dollars Too little it's too little guys you gotta Wait, whatever you need to do to these things to make them cost a dollar more. I think it's worth that I think it's worth whatever a dollar better is. I've been so focused on the thickness, I have not paid any attention to the diameter. I need to see these in a human hand.

I mean, they're slider size. I mean, they're slider size. Like you can, you know what I mean? Like they go on a White Castle slider, which is, you know. Okay, cool. So they're little chicken. Okay, cool. They look huge in this picture.

These are some little ass cutting boards. I thought for sure these were like full donut sized. Yeah, they're not even really cutting boards, they're just gonna boards. Yeah, they look like cedar planks. Is what they look like. When was it decided, what was the focus group that led to this sort of pervasive idea

in the fast casual space, that we all wanna be touching our chicken more? That we all need to be touching our chicken more? Because I like my chicken at the end of a fork where it's, greases and juices can't get on my. But kids are gonna wear them like rings. They're gonna have a time of their lives. Yeah, Justin, that's actually not tantalizing to me.

Rather, I've seen what my kids touch on a day to day basis. It sucks, it sucks almost universally. But I don't want, here's foods that is okay to touch. Bread, full whole fruit, obviously candy, like you don't have a choice, you're gonna get in there. Even then, full whole fruit becomes a minefield as you take bites off of it. I don't wanna pick up, when I get my steak

at the nice restaurants I go to, like Rooster Cris or Applebee's, I don't, with my hands, it's a knife and fork job. You put it between two pieces of bread and then you can touch it. Yeah, if it was a steak sandwich, yeah, thank you so much, Travis, that is true. I don't wanna touch my fried chicken,

I've put away my childish things, unless they're covered in nasty wet sauce, in which case the only option is to touch it with my fingers. I would say, in the classic Munch Squad style of sending a novel when a telegram would do. This press release continues on. Just about other things going on over at White Castle.

And the last two paragraphs are really, I mean, pushing, it doesn't even take ink to make these and I feel like it might've been a waste. Just in time for warmer weather and large gatherings, White Castle is selling its minute made lemonade, tea and new high sea tropical in half gallon jugs. There's a flavor for every crave. Okay? Yeah man, cool dude. Fine!

There's all like, fucking hell man. If I showed up with a half gallon of high sea, what human on the planet is like, where did you get? Oh, thank God, my crave. White Castle, I was craving that flavor. And here's the last thing. Can I also say, if someone said, where did you get that? And you don't answer the store,

but rather I went to White Castle to purchase a half gallon jug of high sea and nothing else? Yeah, like when my father-in-law goes to Frost Top to buy beer by the jug because it's better there. Hey listen, here's the last paragraph and this one I am pretty convinced is some sort of activation phrase for a matured and candidate style plant in society because I can't parse it. The number for the summer season at White Castle is nine.

Shareable Meal number nine features 10 steam grilled original sliders, 20 lightly breaded all white meat chicken rings and one sack of crispy crinkle cut fries. Shareable Meal number nine is the perfect option for cravers looking to feed their family without breaking a sweat or the bank. Shareable meal number nine. Nine.

Dolphin persimmon. It has to spin. Right? Like, okay, why do you have others? Why are you shouting out one thing on your, why have nine of them then, right? Like, why are we saying, there's a lot on the menu, but fuck that, we're gonna give you the hack to our thing.

You just go get number nine. It's got 10 shareable rings of chicken and other meats. You're gonna, a taste so weird, you wish they cost more. God, I gotta stop recording this show hungry though, cause I would actually tear down some of these. I'd destroy one. I'll eat anything with Hidden Valley Ranch on it, I would just prefer not to touch it with my.

You got White Castles in your neck of the woods, right? I don't know, man. I don't actually know if I do. It's not an odd treat. Oh, I'm gonna set Door Dash for you guys right now. Okay, Justin, please don't do it. Please don't actually know if I do. It's not an honesty. Oh, I'm gonna check DoorDash for you guys right now. Hey Justin, please don't do it. Start the next question, please. Please don't do it, please don't do it, Justin.

I don't have that Crave Center in my brain. I have a huge Rolodex in my brain of like, I'll flip through and be like, yeah, I do want Frosted Animal Crackers. Like I'll hit that Crave. Oh yeah, you can't win. White Castle's not included in that Rolodex. It hasn't earned its spot there, I don't think.

I'm a Greenskeeper at a golf course. When walking through the Clubhouse restaurant, two waitresses asked me what I think would be a good nickname for a recently hired person. Later, I connected the dots and realized they likely use nicknames for everyone in the greens crew, and I'm dying to know what my name is. Should I ask? know what my name is, should I ask? What if it's like piss man? What if it is piss man?

Here's, okay. What if they heard you pee weird one time and you're piss man forever? What if it's hunky muscles? Oh, what if it is hunky muscles? Now listen, here's what has occurred to me. These two people have asked you this thing. They do not know enough about this other person

to come up with their own nickname. So perhaps the nicknames is a way to not have to memorize new names. But you're the one that they stopped and asked. That's the weird part. Chances are they know your name. Mm-hmm. I doubt they use a nickname for you.

What if, but the question answer didn't specify if they're like, hey, fuck stick, what do you think would be a good nickname? Well, then you wouldn't have to ask what your nickname is. I think it would be pretty clear. That question would be, there's two folks at my work that when they come up to me, they call me fuckstick and shitbird and pissman. I don't know how to deal, they asked me a question, but I was honestly so struck. Out of those three, which one would you guys prefer?

Fuckstick, Pissman. Shitbird or Pissman? Shitbird. I was shitbird. Really? See, I would've said Pissman. Shitbird, no, no, no. Pissman's bad.

Pissman's the worst one. Fuckstick's too much pressure. Fuckstick's too much pressure. Fuckstick's too gross. They won't feel comfortable calling you that in front of anybody else. Anybody. But you could say Pissman.

You could say Pissman. Pissman has a story else. Yes, anybody. Piss man. You can say piss man. Piss man has a story. Piss man has a story. There's a reason for piss man. Oh, that's a good point. Would you rather be, okay, would you rather be piss man or piss boy? Piss man.

Piss boy is fun. I feel like it. Piss boy is more fun though. Piss boy implies you clean up piss. There's nothing about that that makes you think I'm the one in charge of cleaning up piss. Piss man implies I'm in charge of it. I'm the one in charge of cleaning up piss. Piss man, I'd be charged up. If I'm the piss man, I made that piss.

I made control of the situation. I made control of the situation and I'm one the way I like it. I'm the piss man and I answer to no one. Piss boy got caught up in the piss. Piss boy just got caught up in the excitement. He just got carried away. He's a child, he has no impulse control. He has to work his way up the ranks, right?

That seems like the bottom rank of some like old timey sailing ship. Pissed man? Yes. Now you're a man with responsibility. Pissed boy should know better. Pissed man does know better, but does it anyway. Senior pissed man would be good at Captain Piss.

Captain Piss. Pissed Captain and Captain Piss are two different. We've actually said that word too many times now. Oh, have I? Yeah, we gotta move on. Okay, yeah, you're right. Sorry. What name did you give him for the other person?

That's the, and this is the big gap in our knowledge that unfortunately this person has not shown us the decency that prior question askers in this very episode have done. There has to have been, you have to feel, you feel guilty about this. There's something to me that is weird about the idea of like, hey, that new person, let's like randomly generate

a nickname for them based off of like knowing that they've worked here for like a week or whatever. That feels arbitrary. A nickname to me has to come in the mud. It has to be there, right? You gotta find it. I don't think you can just like, well, they wear a red shirt,

so we'll call them like red shirt man or whatever, right? You gotta wait for something to happen. Unless it's a hat every day. Do you guys like hat every day as a play? No. What are they hiding? No, I mean, I don't care about that. For me personally, I couldn't wear a hat every day as a play? No. What are they hiding? No, I mean, I don't care about that. For me personally, I couldn't wear a hat every day.

I do have a hat. You guys wanna know a true story? One time at Super Week, which is a week long church camp that we went to in Glenville, which is at the geographical center of West Virginia, Glenville State College. I had this kid I met and we were friends, and every day he wore an Atlanta Braves hat,

which is of course a strike against him, but he wore an Atlanta Braves hat every day and we were friends, but he was from another church. I had never met him before. And on day five, I put together later, he stopped wearing the hat and I couldn't find him again. Oh no! I hadn't find him again. Oh no. I hadn't paid close enough attention to this person.

I just kind of clocked his like, Braves guy. And I was like, and I couldn't find him. I never got in touch with that fool again. He's lost his time. Man, that gives so much credibility to Superman Clark Kent glasses thing. Yeah. You think they'd be like, I know that person,

but Justin lost sight of somebody because they took their hat off. And then like a baby, Justin forgot who they were and that they existed and everything. And I know some people have challenges with faces. This is not, that is not something I've experienced. This is old fashioned rudeness. What if they're listening right now?

What if they just heard that and they're like, I thought I'd done something wrong. This is so much closure. Yeah. I don't, I'm not actually looking for any new friends right now, but it would be. He would be an old friend though, Justin. This is a friend, this is a gold friend.

Oh man, I'm not sure if we have a grandfather clause over here, especially if he was at a church camp with me in the mid 90s. I don't know. You came out the other side. What? That vibe would be wild. I would love to reconnect with some

of my old church camp buddies to just see like where the paths diverged and how far sort of we ended up from each other spiritually. We're back to the center. Let's be honest. I think it'd be easier to find people our age who maybe grew up in the church and aren't there anymore. That it is here.

Via this show, if they're listening to this show. Yeah. That's true. Can we end? Yeah. I'm genuinely, looking at these chicken rings has genuinely made me irredeemably raffinous. You're really hungry, of course. Like why wouldn't you be, of course?

I mean, I roasted a chicken last night. I'm very excited to eat the leftovers. Oh, fantastic, Trav. I'm so glad to hear it. A spatchcocked it, I did, like, lemon thyme. Oh, wash language. Have you thought about cutting it into a little ring? Hey. Ooh.

Huh. Hey. Innovative. The storm here is bad, and I'm getting some flickering lights, so let's try to get out of this. Let's end this shit. Let's wrap it up.

Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. Say you did not lose it. Go to bit.ly slash McElroy Tours. Yes. And you can get tickets for places such as Kansas City, Missouri on June 21st, my brother, my brother and me. June 22nd, St. Louis, Missouri, my brother, my brother and me.

June 23rd, Tysons, Virginia, my brother, my brother and me. We're also in July, Detroit, and Cleveland. In August, we're at Gen Con. September, Orlando, and Atlanta. October, Denver and Phoenix. November, Indianapolis, and Milwaukee. Once again, it's bit.ly slash McElroy Tours for tickets and more information.

We got some new merch over at McElroyMerch.com, including a gorgeous fungalore poster designed by Willow Quillian. 10% of all proceeds this month will go to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality for Florida's LGBTQ community. Thank you so much to Montane for these, for theme song, My Life Is Better With You.

My life is better with this song in it and with this one picture of chicken rings that I can't stop looking at. I wanna mention here in a couple of weeks, or yeah, a little less than a week. Ha ha ha ha. That's not terrifying at all. Sydney and I directed Charlie the Chocolate Factory

starring one Clint McElroy as Grandpa Joe. You can see that the 14th through the 16th and the 21st through the 23rd. That's here in Huntington. And we'll skip a weekend after that. And then the two weekends after that, July 5th and July 12th, those weekends, Sydney and I are going to be in Escape to Margaritaville.

Jimmy Buffett's own. So it's gonna be, if you can get out there, H-A-R-T of WV.org is the website where you can go get tickets and stuff. So, Dad's gonna play like an aged relative who just sits around doing nothing, kind of milking off his younger relative success? Believe it or not.

Travis Patrick, you don't own that. You don't own that nastiness. I don't, I love my dad very much. I bet he's gonna do a great job. You don't have to be like that. You've done enough. I just wanna seem cool, I wanna seem cool, I made a lot of new friends at church camp,

and I wanna seem cool in front of him by bullying my dad. Here's a wish for Fungalore I would like to send up, please start calling. I wish my students would stop calling me a cocoa melon head looking ass. What is Justin McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy. I is Justin McElroy? I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

It's been My Brother, My Brother, My Brother, May I Kiss Your Dad square on the lips. It's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you