My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 716: Fresh Cold Not Dogs

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

You probably thought we'd do an entire episode about a Human Hotdog Vortex and the state of hot dog eating contests. But rest assured, we managed to move on with enough time to sling advice about excelling at 18-hour backflips, almost completing puzzles, and lip-syncing novelty songs. Suggested talking points: Omni-Directional Hot Dog Claws, If You Pay a Man for Hot Dogs, Jackie Acorn, I Also Know a Child, Sad Gets You Third Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach

My life, it feels like Life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two By way of heart

It's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother and my brother and me An advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy What up Trav Nation? I'm your middle-est brother Wolf Wolf Big Dog Travis McElroy Good morning Trav Nation, thanks for coming here Thanks for assembling You can join us on a Zombo occasion.

I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy. Guys, I don't know how to tell you this. What's wrong, Trap? Joey Chestnut has been... Oh, I know. He's been... Is he okay? He's fine.

Griffin, he's... I mean, he's physically probably... He's definitely physically not fine. I wanna be so clear about that. There's no way he's fine. My man is more nitrate than man at this point. He's not all right. He has been banned from the Nathan's Hot Dog

Eating Competition. Uh oh, I hope this is, I hope for a funny reason, not for a not funny reason. No way it is. Because he, he made a deal to be represented by a different hot dog brand Griffin,

the brand being Impossible Foods. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Joseph. Are these, are these, are these not dogs? The Impossible Foods? Okay, all right. These are the meatless meats, hot dogs. Joey's reppin' cats. Joey's out here reppin' cats.

Not dogs. He's saying, not dogs. He loves cats now. And so Nathan's. That's what I call fakein' cats. Not dogs. He's saying, not dogs, he loves cats now. And so Nathan's. That's what I call fake hot dogs. Yeah, right, right. Nathan's, who has sponsored the hot dog eating contest for as long as I know, all of the time,

was like, oh, okay, you're out, Joey Chestnut. Because he took a sponsorship from Impossible Foods, the hot dog. Instead of Nathan's. Was he gonna wear, I mean, was he gonna be doing his wet eating thing and then on stage be like, if only these were Impossible Meats hot dog.

Like, why did he, it's just that they're standing on principle. What less reliable narrator, excuse me, what less reliable narrator could you have for your Impossible Meats brand than the Vortex? Yeah. Like you know that he doesn't prefer. I mean, you know clearly, like, who's like,

I love these Impossible Dogs. No, if I could just shimmy down 64 regular boys. I can get right back to eat. After a long day of eating real meat hot dogs, I reach for it. A cool one. A nice relaxing hot dog. Now listen. Sometimes you just want a cold one

straight out of the fridge. You know, one you don't have to work for. You know what I mean? These are my off-court buddies. Impossible food called that. He slices them up like sushi. Yeah, nice. Eats them with a toothpick, he loves it.

Okay, so according to my sources, Nathan's didn't want to kick him out. Of course not, this is their prize stallion. It's Hot Dog Man. Yeah, and so they said, will you be in it if we don't mention Hot Dog Brands? And I'm just gonna stop right there for a second. Remember, the event is sponsored by our hot dog brand.

Yeah, this would be hard. So the sacrifice they were willing to make to allow this to happen would be if the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was like, this year it's just the Thanksgiving Day Parade, will you be in it now? Santa Claus has a deal at Target, is basically what we're dealing with.

And he was like, nope, gotta pitch Impossible Foods while I'm there. I love that. And they said, okay, then no. That's, I mean, that's what you pay for, right? Do you think, I guarantee this isn't what Impossible Foods was hoping for, huh? No, probably not.

This can't be the outcome. They definitely wanted him to wear that, and they knew they were being stinkers. Just cause there's no meat in there doesn't mean there's no sausage on the bun. You know what I mean? They knew what they were doing. Okay, guys, guys, guys, how much do you think

Joseph Christian Chestnut was paid to appear in the Nathan's Hot Dog Contest last year? Wait, a paid to appear in the contest? Paid to appear in the Nathan's Hot Dog Contest last year. Wait, a paid to appear in the contest? Paid to appear in the- Just to participate. Just to participate. $1,500. I would say, I was gonna say $10,000.

$200,000 American dollars. Hey, no one, Travis, no one eats hot dogs fast like him. Like, yeah, that's what, when you buy, when you pay a man to eat hot dogs on TV for you, you're not paying him. He feeds for a day. But if you teach a man to get paid to eat hot dogs on TV, you feed a man for life.

You're not paying him for the 64 hot dogs he's eating on a TV show. You're paying him for the 400,000 hot dogs he's eaten to get that good. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's deep, Griffin. Outliers. See, I thought, yeah, man, 10,000 hot dogs.

I thought you were gonna say, Griffin, you're not paying him for the 64 hot dogs he's eating on TV. You're paying him for the millions of hot dogs that children aspiring to be the next Joey Chestnut eat watching him do it. And that would also apply. You're not paying him for the 64 hot dogs that he eats.

You're paying him for the many, many hundreds of hot dogs he eats after the competition to help them clean up. Like Pac-Man. Yeah, exactly. Whatever's left. It must be stressed. Joey Chestnut's bottleneck right now is not a capacity issue.

My man has capacity to spare. It is a time to shove ratio. It's how quickly he can shove these dogs down. 64 is the most a human being can do, right? Yeah, he's definitely thought about getting some kind of surgery that allows him to at will unhinge his jaw like a python, right? Well, he did undergo Goro surgery

and got two additional arms attached to his body. And they allowed that. Yeah, they allowed that. What if next year they're like two big announcements in Nathan's this year? One, Joey's back. Two, this year it can go up the butt. Up the butt will count.

We don't expect that to be a huge, like we're not expecting that to be like now he's in triple digits. But it's gonna have an impact. As it turns out with the two extra arms and the sort of omnidirectional hot dog claws. Yes. Anything is possible. All of his wins from this point on

will have an asterisk next to them, which is of course typography's asshole. That's true. So it's a really easy reminder. Now here, let me tell you one, according to a source, he was offered $1.2 million spread out over four-year contract. So $300,000 a year for the impossible.

So if I'm pounding hundreds of hot dogs a year, I'm gonna need all the money up front, honestly. Amoratize is not gonna cut it for me, dog. I'm gonna need something in writing that says my survivors continue to get that man. Exactly. I wanna spend, he and the survivors, Joey Chesa can't have a family?

You can't love that man. He's a feeling. And he can love nothing but eating hot dogs or he can't do it. He's Brigadoon, you can't pin him down. If he focuses on anything else, even for a second, do you know how off his rhythm would be? He could die.

He could die. I can't, I want that bio-vigorous, like Joey, there's more to life than eating hot dogs. And he's like, there's literally not, like it's not, not for me. That said, he has several, like, I think like 50 other world records for eating foods.

Yeah, like eating, but eating as a genre. I can't imagine a worse food spokesperson than Joey Chestnut. I genuinely can't imagine one, because the things I know about him is that his favorite meal is 64 hot dogs. And if that's the case, I don't know that we're gonna be compatible in a dining sense in any capacity.

I don't wanna follow his diet the same way I don't wanna follow The Rock, his diet, which requires the consumption of nine to 10 pounds of cod. And he had his tongue surgically removed many years ago. Exactly. It got in the way. Yeah. Now let me pose you guys a philosophical question.

Okay. If Joseph Chestnut remains out, right, now the odds are in favor of Jeffrey Esper who came in second last year. Man. The Financier? I did think you were about to say Jeffrey. No. No, no, he was a strong favorite until events.

But Jeffrey ate 49 hot dogs last year. An absolute pidgeon. Embarrassing. So here's my question to you. An Epertif? If you're Jeffrey Espar and you find out this news. Really feels like you're gonna say Eps- Every time.

I know. Is it better if I say Jeff Esper? Esper comma Jeff. Yeah. If you're Esper, in this scenario, and you find out that Joey Chestnut is out of the competition, do you feel relief because you know you would never get to that,

you would never get 65, right? You would never one up. Or do you feel anger? Do you feel disappointment because you wanted to take a run at the king? You wanted to win the right way. Yeah. Ah, man.

You're asking me, Travis, right now to get into the mind of a person who eats three dozen plus hot dogs in a very short span. But this is a thing. I mean, four dozen. Four dozen plus one, yeah. Mostly a thing in boxing, right? Where it's like, if you didn't beat Tyson,

if you didn't beat Lennox Lewis, at different periods of time, like you're not the best. Like, yeah, you were good, but if you had been one-nox Lewis a different period of time. Yeah, like you didn't you're not the best like yeah You were good, but if you had been one-on-one with you know, that's the thing Right, but like I do think at this point It is really hard to argue that if you don't beat Joey chestnut, you're not the king, right? You're not yeah, you've got it. You lose to Joey chestnut by 15 Right. It wasn't like he lost by like one or two.

Right. Right, where it's like this year, you know, if everything breaks my way, I've got him beat. You lose like 15, you gotta think you're like- You're gonna have to get a technicality. Yeah, like you're not gonna beat him outright. It's simply not going to happen. It's not going to happen.

Where's that who's yours? Where it's like, we're simply not going to beat the other team. Have you seen the other team? They're very good. Their skill with, and one would hope, they've worked very hard to get to this point. Yeah, they're the Joey Chestnut of basketball. Yeah, man.

That's like every time the Mighty Ducks beat the Russian kids. That's all I could think about is like, do you know what that's going to cost them? Do you know what they have gone through? This is everything to them. This is everything. They didn't have other things. You have a loving dad in Emilio Estevez. Some of you are ice skaters.

Some of you play basketball. Some of you like came from different sports. You have like, you can return to a life outside of this. They probably were there training 12 hours a day. Even in this scenario, you all are a family, the Mighty Ducks, they don't even have that. They're a machine made for goals. It's Iceland, but I just wanna stress that

so we don't get thousands and thousands of emails. Yeah, that's thinking too much. Yeah, which is weird anyway, cause Iceland isn't even cold, Greenland is. What if Joey Chestnut in his commercial That's thank you so much, Joey. Yeah, which is weird anyway, because Iceland isn't even cold, Greenland is. Yeah. What if Joey Chestnut in his commercial for the Impossible Hot Dog just barreled the camera in a well-lit room and was like, hi, I'm Joey Chestnut.

My doctor told me that if I kept eating 64 hot dogs on an annual basis, The amount of meat leavings put inside my body would kill me to death. Just meat shrapnel. He said, stop all the hot dogs, Joey. Well, joke's on you, motherfucker. I found hot dogs without meat in them. Loopholes.

These special hot dogs, one, slip and slide down my gullet 8% more efficiently than a normal, a normal traditional meat-filled tube steak. And yeah, my doctor said that what they're made out of isn't the problem, it's the number. And I said, hey doc, my money's on the line. What's that? I lost my contract with the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest? Fuck. Oh no. I'm gonna talk you guys through my Impossible Me's Joey chestnut ad.

Joey comes out, he's standing in a gray room, he holds up an impossible dog and he says, Hey, you're not chewing them anyway, what's the difference? Yeah. It's not like the taste or consistency matters. Boo-boo-bear! You're not chewing a boo-boo-bear! Done! And then he just... It's left there. Cool, yeah. I feel like the taste or consistency matters. Boo-boo-bear! You're not chewing a boo-boo-bear! Done! And then he just... Whoosh!

It's like that! Cool, yeah. And the buns are made of styrofoam! Who gives a fuck? No pigs should die for this! Whoosh! This isn't even providing sustenance at this point! I had a big dinner!

They come out of you so fast! What? When I throw it at the wall, it makes a whistling noise in the air. It just plows through you. Here's what I want. Joey Chestnut sitting at a table. There's a big pile of hot dogs in front of him. And then I need Henson's Creature Shop to come on out to make this pile of hot dogs eat.

Oh, hell yeah. He's like, hey, Joey, don't let us have died for this. You're not even gonna chew us. And he's like, I can't do it anymore. You're right, hot dogs. From now on, only vegan. And then, you know, impossible meats. Yeah. Cool.

Now in stores with Joey's picture or whatever. Yeah, his voice, which could be British. It could be Yogi Bear. No one really knows. Well, that time I made the hot dogs Yogi Bear, so I had to do a different voice for Joey Chestnut. Here's my impression of Joey Chestnut. Rrraaaargh. Rrraaaargh. I had to do a different voice from Joey Chestnut. Here's my impression of Joey Chestnut. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Do you all think, one, do you think that this is a promotional scam for the hot dog eating contest? Two, will you be very excited if that is true? Because if we could add more layers of wrestling style kebab onto the hot dog eating world,

so excited for that. If he does a full blown heel turn, where he comes out and has like an impossible flag spread out behind him and he's got now some aviators on and he comes out and he's eating impossible dogs against the guys eating Nathan's dogs, do you know how jazzed I would be? Like full blown, now he's like evil Hulk Hogan.

I'm so, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, I'm so into that. What if, what if they, they're, Impossible comes to Joey. Joey cheat night. Impossible comes to Joey and- Is that anything? What if Impossible comes to Joey and they're like, Joey, it's such a bummer you got kicked out,

but we've got an idea. Let's do our own across the street. And you go up against other, like some vegetarians to see how many you can eat. And he's like, whoo, eating how many? Wow, 60 of these, huh? Ha! eating how many? Wow, 60 of these, huh? Ha!

Wow, yeah, that's interesting. 60 of the Impossible Dogs, wow! That's a lot of those to eat. Hmm, huh, what's in? Man, it's so many, isn't it, guys? Do we all feel like it's a lot? It feels like a lot when it's the vegan ones. Maybe we just do it, it's more of like a promotional it guys? Do we all feel like it's a lot? It feels like a lot when it's the vegan ones. Maybe we just do it,

it's more of like a promotional event where I eat like 10 of them, huh? Or five is funny. I feel like the best version of it is one slowly. And maybe I get like so satisfied. Maybe that's the gag. I'm so satisfied by half a one and I'm Joey Chestnut. And it's like, what a value, but I only eat half,

and we do one take. And then I get to go over and eat the Nathan's dogs for money? What do you think? Is that still okay? Wouldn't that be a funny gag? Would it be funny? Or if they had like leftovers after the contest was over, and everybody left and I just went and ate

so I could feel something? What do you think? Would it be like funny or cute or cool if instead of ketchup or mustard, I put one or two normal hot dogs on top of the Impossible dog while I ate it? What if I round them up to look like slop? Like a slop?

What if we put one Impossible dog and 63 regular dogs into a plate and I eat all of them and see if I can tell the difference. That's right. What do you guys think? Why don't you guys take this back to the lab and make it more appealing to me, Joey Chestnut? Can you make it stink like a hot dog stinks?

Could you make a hot dog that's 50% meat and 50% plant-based and make it like a meat light? Like it's possible. Maybe you call it a probable dog and then I can eat it and still feel something. I can't go cold turkey off dog. What if, oh my gosh. Can you make it out of cold turkey?

Do you know how people eat the impossible ones and they're like, oh my gosh, I was fooled. I thought it was meat. What if I eat a meat one and then I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm fooled. I thought it was meat. What if I eat a meat one and then I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm fooled, I thought it was impossible. That's the bit. But I eat real beef hot dogs. But I eat a real one.

And I won't like it. It tastes so good, I thought it was impossible. I won't like it, I promise. I won't enjoy the 64 hot dogs I eat in record time. Maybe I just eat 64 regular hot dogs and go yuck after each one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of unadvertising normal Nathan's hot dog. I wish these were impossible.

Man, could we do a whole War with Grandpa style episode just about, just Joseph Gordon Chester. You could probably edit our prior, like that's probably our greatest hits or greatest dog. I don't know if we did a ton. We could do that with this for sure. I don't know if we did a ton. We could do that with this for sure. I don't know if we did a ton the year that he choked out that hot dog protester

on stage while gulping down. But now he's doing impossible though, what a turn. That's a really good point, Trav. Yeah. In his defense, I don't know if he knew the person was protesting when they rushed the stage and Joseph Gordon chestnut choked him out. I think that when you are in the spay eating,

at this point, he was on, I just looked it up, hot dog number 18. When you're 18 dogs deep, any big moving object is a predator coming to get you in your moment of vulnerability. I am now, combined with that knowledge and Justin's British accent that he put on for, I'm imagining like a 45 minute long mini movie commercial

for Impossible Dogs. That's like a Christmas Carol kind of thing where he chugs the person out. And then like he starts thinking about like what it really means and what it's all about. And ghosts of like different animals come to him and his ways are changed. You know what I mean?

He sees his son eating a bunch of hot dogs and he's like, I wanted a better life for him. And he's like, no, he's inspired by you. He ate the last pig, Joey. Ollie, your son ate the last pig. There's no left. I know it seems like Nathan's is being kind of reactionary about this, but I do have to say it's troubling

when the person that has eaten the most of the thing is the canary in the coal mine. If Joey Chestnut is so far out on the frontier, if he says back to me, a regular hot dog, and you're like, Justin, you gotta trust me. You don't wanna come out here. It's really bad out here. Don't eat as many as I did.

Trust me, you've gotta switch now. In life, I consume, look at all these floating hot dog chains that bind me. In life, I ate so many beefy boys. I wanna read a statement from Major League Eating. Okay. Major League Eating and Nathan's went to great lengths in recent months to accommodate Joey

and his management team, agreeing to the appearance fee and allowing Joey to compete in a rival unbranded hot dog eating contest on Labor Day. For nearly two decades, we have worked under the same basic hot dog exclusivity provisions. However, it seems that Joey and his managers have prioritized a new partnership with a different band over our long-term relationship." And this is still from them, quote,

Joey Chestnut is an American hero. We would love nothing more than to have him at the Nathan's Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. We hope he returns when he is not representing a rival brand. I don't think that Bad Blood is on the Major League eating on Nathan's side. He's an American hero, according to me. They know what this is costing the sport.

Oh, good as. They know what they're getting. There is a, I mean, you gotta give credit to Nathan's for trying to hang on to this, but I think at this point, they're gonna have to accept that this is now an American institution. Yeah. It's ours as a people. It's true. They can't, I'm sorry, guy. It's every, but you gotta open up the floodgates.

You gotta let them all in. Here's what needs to happen. Here's what needs to happen. Let me plot this out. Joey steps away. He's gotten too big for this, right? He's taking a bigger brand deal with Impossible Dogs. Time for a young, hungry, literally and figuratively

challenger to step up. 18 year old comes in, slams 66 hot dogs in the time. 2025, everybody's like, he's the new king of the Nathan's Famous. He's the new hot dog king. It's Jackie Acorn. Yeah, Jackie Acorn's out here. He beat it.

And he stopped. He hit 65 and just stopped. Yeah. And was like, I could do more. And he's real braggadocious about it, right? He's going on tour and he's more like chestnut, right? What is that? Or chest-naught, excuse me.

More like chest-naught, right? Because he's not the greatest anymore. And he's actually the greatest anymore. And he's like, you're running his mouth a lot. Got you, Jack Yeacorn's got fucking bars, man. That was so sick. And now Joey has to come back out, but he's out of the game. He's developed an allergy now from going one year

without eating the hot dog. His body's rejecting it. Can I push back against one part of that statement, which is where they referred to Nathan, it seems like the Nathan's people were trying to position Nathan's hot dogs and Impossible Brand hot dogs as competitors. Yeah.

I don't think anyone in the history of time has ever gone to the store and seen hot dogs and non-meat based hot dogs and been like, hmm, which one? It's either you do hot dogs or you've always wanted to do hot dogs, but your lifestyle choice has prevented you from accessing that wonderful world. Now you are able to get that thing. There have been times where merely the word impossible

is enough to spark my wonderful magical, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium level of excitement. And I'm like, what magic is this in this impossible dog? And I've done that before. And I think if memory serves, it's better for the environment. No, no, no. You are misunderstanding and mischaracterizing my point. This is not an anti-vegan food rant. I've eaten myself many an Impossible Burger and they are good.

They are a fine alternative. This is hot dogs. Yeah, you don't... This is hot dogs. This is a nicotine patch of food, okay? Yes! You aren't craving it. You aren't like, I need vegan dogs.

Like, you don't want that. You don't. You want a hot dog, you're not eating hot dogs. Bully for you, but you're not waffling. That's what Griffin is saying. Well, no, I'm not even saying that. I'm saying that there is a person for whom they do crave hot dogs, but they just can't. Because it would make them sick

or so sad or so guilty. Now they have this option, but that's too, there's no overlap in that Venn diagram because it's hot dogs. It's apples and oranges. Yeah. It's, yes. I see. I get you. It's not a MasterCard, it's Kermitized. They're way out here.

It's way, way out. They're separated. Way, way out. So listen, they're way out here. They're separate. It's way, way out. Way, way out. So listen, this is an advice show. And on this show, we offer advice and give them alchemy like to you in wisdom. And my email got signed out. So I'm stalling. Hey, brothers. Thank you.

You want me to rip it? Nah, I got it. Hey, brothers, newborn babies are adorable. And whenever I pass by someone with one, I got it. Hey brothers, newborn babies are adorable. And whenever I pass by someone with one, I give them an aw, but never say anything to the parents. Congratulations seems a little weird to me,

but I'm not sure what else would be appropriate. As parents yourselves, how do I congratulate them in a cool or appropriate way? That's from Baby Courtesy in BC. Good question. I don't think we've talked about this before. No, I am, I, this is a type of thing that I feel like being a parent has kind of completely flipped my whole

world on because my, my MO I think before having a kid was if a child, like a little baby makes a face at me, I am absolutely standing perfectly still and not responding to that energy at all. Because I don't want to, I thought maybe, then you look at the baby and you're like, hi. And then the parent is like, why the fuck are you looking at? And making faces, but now I know like 99% of the time,

the parent wants you to be like, that's cute. That's cute. Because you're giving someone else's looking at the baby. Correct. For just a second, it's nice. It is, that part is also sick. That's cute. Because you're giving someone else's looking at the baby. Correct. For just a second, it's nice. It is. For just a second, that person is now responsible for not getting a baby.

So I will say, the catch 22 of this is knowing. Wait, wait, wait, before you go forward Travis, are you saying that if someone compliments your baby, it becomes their responsibility? No. No, just like to occupy it for a second. Just for a moment, they are being occupied by somebody else. But I also know that soon that time will be done.

This person is merely a dilettante dancing in the space of entertaining my baby for a moment, and then they'll be gone. And you know who won't be happy that they're gone? The baby. My baby. Or this person will engage in some kind of across a plane aisle, oh, we're making silly faces at each other.

And then they stop making silly faces. But you know who's not done making silly faces? My two year old, who gets progressively more upset that their silly faces are not being reciprocated. It's a double edged sword. Literally. Literally. All anyone is looking for is just a,

it can be just not, it can be a silent sort of just mouth, so cute. Yep. Just a little, so cute. Oh, that's. That's all it needs, so cute, to where it's cute. Because every parent thinks their baby is cute, and some outside confirmation will do,

or you're doing a great job, I don't know, that might be patronizing. That's extremely patronizing. That's very patronizing and they may not be. Oh, that's fair. That's, you know, you don't wanna lie to somebody. Maybe try some eyeliner next time. Oh, you know what else is cool?

Maybe their brows are off, right? Maybe give them constructive feedback. You know what I mean? Have you thought about fillers? What also goes down smooth, how old? If you're there, if you're gonna be there for, like I said, if you thought about fillers? What also goes down smooth? How old? If you're there, if you're gonna be there for like, if you're in line at a grocery store, how old?

I know one that old, like, I know one that old is all you also have to say at the end of that. If you're gonna get them on the show circuit, consider a flipper. Something like that. Can I ask? Help them out. While we're on the point,

and this is a request for, a lot of these sort of holidays get piled up around like May, June. There's a lot of like coming of age, transitional, whatever. If you are talking to a new parent or a current parent or any parent, can we all drop the enjoy these days they go by so fast?

Oh my God, thank you. As though maximizing quality time with my children before they grow up is not like literally in my mind, all of the time, like as though that is not something, like that has escaped my notice, is that time is fleeting and I should enjoy every second of it. Like, yeah, I know.

Yeah, thank you for that. Not only that. Thanks for that. The implication is it's just gonna get worse. I know. Yeah, thank you for that. Like, thanks for that. Not only that, the implication is, it's just gonna get worse. I know! Yeah. Oh, I miss these days.

Fuck off! Yeah, I enjoy, as my children get older, we get to have new and fun experiences. They become full people that I have conversations with, and I enjoy them. I liked them when they were kids, too, because they're my children. It's that thing of like, hold on for this,

because this part's like, you know, these are the best days, it's all downhill. Really, how late did you sleep in this morning? That's the peak. Really? You know, like how much vomit did you clean up this week? Me? Three. Three whole ones. One was on my garage stairs. Fuck off.

I got that once from Rachel and I for our 10th anniversary. We were at this beach resort and there was, at one point, I was talking to this older couple at the bar there and they were like, oh, you have kids, how old? And I was like, oh, you have a three year old and a seven year old.

And they were like, oh, so fun. You gotta treasure those days. Those days are so special. And I wanted to be like, you are at a beach resort right now where you have probably been for a while now. So that's awfully sweet coming from you, living the life, the sweet, you gotta love those days. Anyway, time to go party for the 90th day straight.

Woo! Yeah, when people are like, huh, just wait till they're teenagers. And I'm like, do you mean when they're able to full blown entertain themselves and we can like talk through issues and like- It'll be so shitty. Trav, don't get me wrong.

It'll be so shitty. Oh no, but shitty in a different way. Shitty enough, yeah, a less physically exhausting way, maybe, but also that's not helpful when you're like, oh man, you think it sucks shit. It's either you're gonna miss these beautiful days or you think it sucks now, wait until they start to dislike you actively.

It's like, thanks for both of those things actually. Thanks for implying that I don't love my kids enough now and that I won't love them later. But yeah, just say so cute. So cute, how old? I have this cliche a little bit though. We can come up with some. I'm not looking for you to reinvent the fucking,

I don't want a big interaction. So cute is like polite in a way that I appreciate. Don't ever do anything that's like, they're gonna be a heartbreaker or you're gonna be chasing boys away. That's gross, don't do that. That's the grossest image. Travis, I love you. We did not need to tell that to our audience.

I hope so. There's no way that any of those, any of that type of person is in our audience. The thing that I feel like a lot of people who aren't experiencing kids all the time forget, and I think it's really not, it's not as hard as people make it out to be. You just have to remember that it is a small human being.

And if you can keep that in your head that you just treat them like, you know, with the dignity and respect, like as though it's a human being and not an accessory or a job or a workload or whatever, it's like a person. You're meeting a little person. Hey, what's your name? What's this person's name? and not an accessory or a job or a workload or whatever. It's like a person. You're meeting a little person.

Hey, what's your name? What's this person's name? Hi. There was a baby that popped up at Willy Wonka rehearsal this week. So excited, cutest little redhead baby. Raymond's pin, how cute is that? She's just in a playpen that appeared

in the show all of a sudden. I was so excited. I tried to take it, but they said I gotta do a bunch of other stuff. That's gross. Man, it's killing when a baby appears out of nowhere. What you could do, and this is just, if you're looking for a fun option,

you could say, oh, it looks like you got a future, then fill in a job that has nothing to do with physical appearance or anything. Like, oh, it looks like a future fashion designer. And like- Got a future electrician on your hands. Yeah, let them try to process how you gather that information.

He's saying- Oh yeah. I'm a purveyor of the mystical arts. Oh, they're gonna be a great sous chef someday. Absolutely. What? Why, how did you know? Great, it's amazing. Ask the baby if you can you know? Right? It's amazing.

Ask the baby if you can hit its vape. That's fucking funny. If anyone ever did that, if I was playing with my three year old outside and someone was like, oh, what's his name? And I wouldn't tell them because this is 2024. And then they were like,

can I hit your vape little guy? I would bust up. And that would be a nice moment of levity for me as a parent. I would be like, that was a good one, man. I mean, get out of here, but that was a good one. Don't offer the baby your vape. That's not, it's not funny in reverse. It is still kind of funny.

It is still kind of funny, a little bit. It's a little funny. Don't do it. I'll turn the ohms way down. Don't worry. It's fine. You can say, hey, skibbity baby, you got there. I don't know what it means, but I think they'll agree.

You shouldn't probably say. The Ohio baby. That's an Ohio baby with lots of Riz. Riz Rudei. It's fine. You can say, hey, skibbity baby, you got there. I don't know what it means, but I think they'll agree. You shouldn't probably say- The Ohio baby. That's an Ohio baby with lots of Riz. Riz for days. That baby's a real Riz. Hey, guys, guys, guys, guys. Yeah?

Yesterday in the dressing room, I heard my dad said, hey, Charlie, you know about internet stuff, what is Riz? Uh-oh. And I got to hear, actually, it was Cooper, explain to dad what Riz meant. So that was a real passage.

So we can look forward to him saying Riz casually. Yeah, so this is foreshadowing for future Taz episodes everybody, enjoy. He actually said, what does it mean if a slime is Rizzy? Wait, what does that mean? I know what all of those words mean and I wouldn't know what that implies. Altogether, I don't know.

I'm charmed by that slime? Hey, let's take a quick break, go to the money zone, do that, and then do more of this. Cool. What was your thought? ["It's Better With You"] This past week, I got on Rocket Money and realized that I was still subscribed

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Yeah, there's no use in it. Sometimes it doesn't have to be we make up a whole fucking universe. No, and I just got out of the way. Can I say, I saw your momentum going, and I was like, it's like a no hitter kind of deal. This is a perfect game. And I just got out of the way and I let you. It was very weird. I kept looking for a moment to jump in,

but there was like, Griffin, it was so fucking clean, man. There was no daylight. It was like, you were so in the zone and everything. Like, I don't think I could have interrupted you if I tried. It's like I ran into, like I fell into a river and it carried me through to the other side. Yeah. I guess I died.

Oh, so this is like the River Styx kind of thing. Travis and I are currently, you can't tell listener. It's a test of wills. Yeah, listener, it's a test of wills right now. The closest we get to working in a given week is when we do the ads. So we're always kind of squaring off secretly to see who's gonna do the one little bit of work

that we do that week. I just feel like I've done a lot of them recently. And so I just thought you would do it. Hey, listen. Listen, I'm hot right now. Let me at it. Here we go. Here we go. Hey, do you Listen, I'm hot right now, let me at it. Here we go. Here we go.

Whoa. Do you need to get yourself a doctor? Hey, do you need to get yourself a doctor? Ah, fuck! Fuck. I said doctor. Fuck. He said doctor.

I blew my perfect boy. Oh, the catcher's coming out. The catcher's coming out the Dr. Griffin. He's icing his shoulder. Oh, I don't think he's coming back from this one, folks. Hey guys, if you thought I was actually going to do two advertisements of what I've said, you are out of your fucking gourd. Hey listen, if you want to find a doctor in your area,

I got, listen, I got a problem right here. My hands, my beautiful hands, the carpal tunnel's claiming them, and I gotta find a doctor to fix these beautiful babies. These are my money makers right here, my hands. And so I gotta find a doctor to do that. How do I start? Well, tell you what I do, I go to ZocDoc. I say, hey, I'm looking for a doctor.

Y'all gotta help me out. And they're gonna help you make it easy to find the perfect physician for you. You can't compromise on this. Check out Zocktalk where you can find and book doctors who are gonna make you feel comfortable. They're gonna listen to you and they're gonna prioritize your health.

Zocktalk is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. So you should try ZocDoc. I used ZocDoc to find a dentist actually because my last dentist retired so I had to look for ZocDoc to find a new one and it was so easy and saved me a ton of time. So go to ZocDoc.com slash my brother and download the ZockDoc app for free, then find and book a top rated doctor today.

That's Z-O-C-D-O-C-D-O-T-C-O-M slash my brother, zockdoc.com slash my brother. I don't actually think they want you to type out D-O-T. I think they'd probably actually prefer that you use the dot. Dot. Oh, that's, yeah, that would probably be a little bit easier. Can I tell you guys what's happening?

My camera keeps freezing up a little bit, so I'm trying not to say anything funny, so that if we want to make a video clip of this, I'm not ruining it. Yeah. Maybe I'll just stay really still, and then you won't be able to wipe over my mouth right here. Sometimes that's what the situation calls for.

Hello, sleepyheads. Sleeping with Celebrities is your podcast pillow pal. We talk to remarkable people about unremarkable topics, all to help you slow down your brain and drift off to sleep. For instance, we have the remarkable Neil Gaiman. I'd always had a vague interest in live culture, food preparation. Sleeping with Celebrities, hosted by me, John Moe, on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Night night. You can't really know if your own show is any good. So, I asked my kids about ours. night. Yeah, zero. Subscribe to Jordan Jessi Goh, a comedy show for grownups. Is there a funny food thing that happened?

We've already talked for so long. I might have been gearing up for one, but now that I had to do all that work, I'm not going to put you all on my shoulder and carry you, you know? Sorry, guys. You're on your own Let's actually do another question. We haven't done like any questions. We've we did one Yeah, no, but I mean like I'm speaking figuratively obviously. Yeah, go for it I was recently cat-sitting for a friend and it couldn't help but notice an unfinished puzzle on her dining room table This was a 1000 piece sir. Oh one of those guys it takes up a whole table

Oh, it was clear the whole family had been working on it. I really, really wanted to help do that puzzle. Problem was, the puzzle was a lot of trees and sky. There's one easy segment to fill in, a dragon. I felt bad about that. It's a kick-ass puzzle, man! Yeah, it sounds cool, man. I wish there had been a picture of the puzzle included.

How much tree and sky, though? Because one dragon way in the background, is it gonna make up for all those trees? Well, let's finish the question, and then we'll see if that context is there. I felt a bit bad about filling it in though, since the dragon was the coolest part, this puzzle was clearly a big effort.

I settled for filling in most of the dragon, but leaving out the last piece. Cool. And you ate that last piece, so that it'll never be complete. And you ate that last piece so that it'll never be complete. Y'all, everybody, you gotta stop hesitating. You gotta start just doing things because you've done the weirdest possible version. What? They're gonna come upon this kickass dragon and you had tons of dragon fun.

And then they're gonna get the last piece of the dragon and neither of you will fulfill any of it. Now you slay it. Now you slay it. It doesn't work like that. It's not the killing blow. It doesn't work like that. You're like the, this is like the King's knights

and you've come and beat the dragon basically to death. And then you're like carrying the prince on your shoulders like go ahead to my leash. Go ahead and poke him once. Pierce his eyeball, my leash. They're ripping the scales off right here, my leash. Pierce the dagger. Make sure you're there when they put that last piece in

so you can be like, oh, I bet that feels good, huh? Mm, finishing the whole dragon like a big boy. Go ahead. Oh, yay. Yay. We can finish the question. God, you're demanding lately. Okay.

Woof. Stuff. Should I have not put pieces down or just completed the dragon? How could I have puzzled in the least impolite way? That's from Puzzled About Etiquette. Now here's what I'll say, that is tricky about this, is that when you're putting together a puzzle,

at least for me, when I put together a puzzle, I'm not putting it together like a laser printer line by line moving up, right? Or side to side. You do the outside pieces, and then you start looking for ones that like jump out at you, and then you fixate on that, like, oh, okay, here's the barn,

I'm gonna get all the barn pieces, right? So if you start with the dragon, you can't do some of the dragon, and then start on another part. For a 1000-piecer, I will say after piece 50 or 60, you are now succumbing to the sunk cost fallacy where you no longer wanna do this puzzle.

It's so many pieces and it's so big, we can't use our dining room table till we complete this thing, but it would be wild for us to throw away all the progress that we've done right now, scrap the thing in the box. I think if I came home from a vacation and someone had done quite a bit of the puzzle,

I would be stoked. What I would be pissed about is that you have left me with the fucking Snickle Fritz of puzzle pieces with just regular old sky and tree pieces. Yeah. I need the dragon, not only because it is gonna look cool and make me feel good for doing it, but to break up the monotony of piecing together the sky.

Of sky and tree, they may have been parsing it out. Maybe they were just allowing themselves the tail one day. I will also infer, because you say the whole family had been working on it, that there is a child at least, or multiple children, and you know that child wanna work on Dragon. Yeah. How are you gonna get that kid excited?

Like, oh, let's put the tree pieces together. That kid's not working on that. I am struggling with this a little bit because there's no judgment, but I do not understand the jigsaw puzzle thing. I don't. Really? It doesn't bring me joy or pleasure. So I will equate it to,

the best equation I have is like woodworking, right? Same idea. It's just a pleasant way to pass the best equation I have is like woodworking, right? Same idea. It's just a pleasant way to pass the time. I enjoy the activity. If you had come to me and be like, Justin, there was a couple of places I thought screws should be. So I just dropped a few in there for you.

I would beat you to death. So I don't know how, but I don't understand. I can't get in the mind of jigsaw people. I don't get it, except for jigsaw, and I never wanna get into his mind. Cause he's so fucking twisted. I will say, the example you've given is not great in that when someone puts together a jigsaw puzzle,

they can't just kind of jazz it in the way that woodworking is like jazz. There's a right and a wrong way pretty, Well, you could pretty- Push it together real weird. Yeah. Wait, hey question Oscar, put together the dragon, enjoy, take it back apart.

That's so good, Travis. The perfect crime. Oh, that's good. That's so much better than leaving a piece because the piece acknowledges that it was very fun to do. Yeah, and that you knew. But you didn't wanna eat all, you fucking Goldilocks,

you left a little bit of porridge in the bottom of the bowl. And it's like, they, so you knew, you knew how twisted it was that you were doing the dragon. But here's, okay, okay. Put together the dragon, then take a picture of it, take it back apart, wait till they finish the puzzle, then send them the picture.

And be like, aha! But I did it first. What was your time to dragon? No, yeah. Mine was 15 minutes. Yeah, I ignored the tree. That's how I just, I did a dragon percent run. Just completed the dragon first.

Were you paid to cast it? Cause if not, just solve the whole fucking puzzle. Just solve the whole puzzle. They owe you everything. I think that's also it. If I came back and you had finished the whole fucking puzzle. Just solve the whole puzzle. They owe you everything. I think that's also it. If I came back and you had finished the whole puzzle, then I'm like, oh, we can start over. But if I come in and you finished the middle 40%

and left all of the outside, then I'm like, well, either we need to finish this. I wish I knew how big the dragon was, right? How much of it is dragon, yeah. I want to imagine it's a really irregularly shaped dragon. We need to finish this. I'm trying to figure out how big the dragon was, right? Like how much of it is dragon, yeah. I want to imagine it's a really irregularly shaped dragon. It's not just a dragon sleeping in like a big pile. It's like you did this like weird,

like it's all jaggedy and you've clearly left out any tree piece you could to not include that. That's what I'd like to imagine. Can we do the next question? Cause I think it's a good one. I'd love to Griffin. My place of employment decided it'd be a good idea to have an in-house talent show.

I want to enter, but only know very basic card tricks. What talents do you think can be taught fast and be good at to get second place? I don't want to win cause I don't want that much attention, but enough to be recognized as a close runner up. That's so good. That's so good. I watched a YouTube once.

That's some talent in New York. Of a man who went from not knowing how to do a backflip to doing a backflip after just- Was it Demi? What's that? Was it Demi? Demi Didgerwebe has been doing a Demi will do a backflip show. Is that who you watched? No, no, this was like a guy who just wanted to learn

how to do a backflip. And so it was about his like 18 hour journey of doing nothing but failed backflips for a whole day in a row until he could do a backflip. So I think that there's something there. Maybe if you don't even learn to do the backflip right and you get up on stage, you're like, what's up everybody?

My name is Billy from accounting and I do backflips. And then you try to do one and you almost get it, but don't quite. That's a second place effort. What's up everybody? I do some of the whole family. Enjoy, some backflips. I have backflips.

Hey, I would push back a little bit of question and answer and say, you wanna get third. Because I think second place, one, if you're a close runner up, there's a chance you get first, right? You don't want it to be a coin toss based on the judges or whatever. You want a, and you also don't want it to be like a rivalry.

Oh, next year. Exactly. You want a nice, comfortable third, you're on the podium, right? You're up there. But nobody, next year, if this happens again, no one's gonna be upset if you don't sign up again. Comfortable third. Here's the things that I've done in talent shows. And the only talent shows we had at my school,

Miller Elementary, were lip syncs. So I did two different lip sync songs in two different years. One was with Travis, one was with my friend Jay Neal. Jay Neal and I lip synced to a novelty record my dad had played on the radio called Hall Your Hiny Out of Bed, because he did the morning show. That was a huge hit. And then we lip synced big LL Cool J's version

of Big Bad Wolf for the talent show too. Which if you've never heard that on Spotify, you're fine. You don't need to. You don't need to. Is there actionable advice? Yes, the actual thing is I did not win with either of these. So do either of those and I can pretty much guarantee interesting, memorable, but probably not a winner.

In the Miller Elementary Lip Sync Contest, Travis and I actually placed second with a performance of Walk the Dinosaur. So that is- Was not was one of their big hits. One of, one of. Now, one of was not wasn't. Here's the beautiful thing about lip syncing,

question asker. Commitment. It's so weird. It's such a weird fucking vibe we're doing for a bunch of grownups. But commitment is going to do you way better than talent. If you are selling it, no one cares how good your lip syncing, it's that you are willing to look silly. Now this isn't true with like juggling, right?

Being bad at juggling, but giving it your all isn't gonna get you third. Trev, I need you to stop and think about this because I think the point you're making is true, but it can also apply to any action a human being can do to a certain extent. Cause if you got up there and you're like, what's up everybody, I'm Billy from accounting.

Now watch me juggle. Flip, flip, and you drop the third ball. Like, fuck, hold on. Flip, flip, flip. Flip, fuck, hold on. Flip, flip, flip. Ah, god damn it. I can really do, I really can't do this.

I really can't do it. I'm just doing it. No, that's hard to get sad. But if you can play that off of- Sad gets you third. Sad gets you third place, Trav. Yeah, but not- Sad gets you third. But literally the question says,

wants to be, wants, okay, wait a minute. They want the attention. Okay, wait, hold on. Be good enough as recognized. You don't want a pity third. You want a comfortable third. No, but afterwards you can be like, you like that shit? That was a bit.

That's right. I'm funny too. Like I can actually juggle kick ass. If you preface it with, I have been learning to juggle my entire life. When I was three years old, my grandfather, who, yeah, was one of the Ringling brothers, sat me down and we began lessons.

For six hours a day, every day, I practiced juggling in front of my grandfather. And I've been doing it for 20 years. And I'd like to share with you now. And then you're really bad at it. And then you say, my grandfather was a lion tamer, so I don't know why he tried to teach me juggling. He was, did not know how.

That's gonna be the punchline that's gonna get you third, my friend. I wanna be honest with you guys about something because I almost said it out loud. And then I sat on it for a little bit. And I realized that when you were talking about person that learned how to backflip in 18 hours, I had this moment where I was like,

well shit man, I got 18 hours. That's all it takes to learn to backflip. And then I realized that he didn't learn to backflip in 18 hours. He learned to backflip in the 18 years before that. And then the 18, you know what I mean? There's a whole lifestyle shift. He did a lot of things to make himself

conducive for learning to backflip in 18 hours. He was poised for success. That is what I think I may be lacking in this game. If you can find this video, it looks like the worst day a human being can have. Because he really does try to backflip and then fall down like a million times. And by the time it's noon, he's like,

this fucking sucks. But then by like 9 p.m. and he's doing backflips, it's like, I guess it was worth it. But you just had a whole day of terrible spills. Is there an endurance option where it's not skill based, but it's just like, how willing are you to accept, like, holding up big buckets full of water for a really long time, right?

Of like, now you're committed, people will be impressed by your commitment and your endurance, but it doesn't take a lot of skill to do, you know what I mean? Like, you could do it as long as you're willing to. Now, you know what, I'm looking at the question again, you can do card tricks. I'm confused, now I'm looking at the question again. You can do card tricks. I'm confused.

Now I'm confused. You can do card tricks. You will not podium with card tricks unless you are pretty good at them. We've all seen a lot of pretty good card tricks. You get the patter going. No matter how basic the card trick is, if the patter is on point,

that's a comfortable third. If you're doing juggling and the patter is on point. Like, what comfortable third. If you're doing juggling and the patter is on point. Like what's up everybody? I mix juggling and comedy and a good, and my crazy values. But they can't already juggle. They can already do card tricks, Griffin. Yeah, no one gives a shit, man. Everyone sees so many card tricks.

Do you work at Bicycle Card Company? Cause then it doesn't, it's not impressive. No, that's a good point. Everybody can do that. Can you fling a card into a watermelon from a distance? Another thing that if you tried to do it a hundred times in front of all of your adult coworkers and fail, is really fucking funny.

That is really good. It's really, really good and funny. Especially once you have to open the second pack of cards. Yeah. And you're like, okay, you know what? I'm not giving up. Does anyone have a pack of card? Can I borrow? I don't want to go get them. Can you, anybody? And then you start picking the cards up one by one. Don't let anyone go until you're done. I think that's the number one thing is

don't give up because a lot of people are, if you do bad enough, a lot of people are going to be like give up, quit. Yeah. And you can't. You're fired. Because that's not gonna get you onto the podium for sure. It'd be kick ass if you were like, what's up, here's a watermelon, I'm gonna throw these playing cards into the watermelon with sharp speed, but then you do it 52 times and fail, and you're like, actually,

I'm gonna eat this whole watermelon. Yeah. I changed my, hey everybody, I changed my talent. I changed my talent. I changed my talent, I'm gonna eat the whole watermelon now. It's gonna take me. Then 15 minutes later, you're like, I changed my talent. I changed my talent. I changed my talent, I'm gonna eat the whole watermelon now. It's gonna take me-

15 minutes later, you're like, I wanna open this watermelon with my bare hands. Just give me like a little bit more time. Does anyone have a pocket knife or anything? Okay, now I'm gonna repair a fractured index finger right now on my own. I'm gonna show you how to spackle a watermelon sliced hole in a wall. And who built this place, am I right guys?

I'm gonna call an ambulance completely independently of any assistance, actually if someone would call. I've hurt my finger quite badly on the melon. Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself a whole, whole bunch. I know I have. If you don't got anything to do this week, maybe come see us do a little show.

Yeah? We'll do a skit for you. What do you think about that? Yeah, dude, it's gonna be fun and you'll like it. And on the 21st, we're gonna be doing Kansas City, Missouri. On the 22nd, we'll be in St. Louis, Missouri. And on June 23rd, we'll be in Tyson's, Virginia. Doing My Brother, My Brother and Me at all three of those. So come out and see us.

Opening St. Louis with wonderful. Oh, there you go. If you're going to be at these shows and you want to have your question answered or wish to fungal or rattle out, you can email it to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put your city in the subject line. Please do this because we have three My Brother,

My Brother and Me's to do in a row. So we need your questions. We need questions. I can't believe we're doing three different cities on three different nights. That is so Rolling Stones. Just like Taylor Swift. Speaking of Rolling Stones,

that's gonna be us a tumbling down through beautiful cities in this country of ours called America. In July, we're coming to Detroit and Cleveland. August we're gonna be doing stuff at Gen Con. September we're gonna be in Orlando and Atlanta. October we're gonna be in Denver and Phoenix. November we're coming to Indianapolis and Milwaukee. Doing a mix of a Bim Bam and Taz.

Most of those. Go to bit.ly slash MacRae Tours. You can get tickets and learn more information and stuff. We have new tour dates. September 6th and 7th, Portland, Oregon, we're doing My Brother, My Brother and Me and Adventure Zone as part of Rose City Comic Con. Tickets go on sale this Thursday at 10am local time. Seating is general admission, ADA seating will be available.

You do not need a convention badge to attend the show. And don't forget to check out all the stuff we have over at MacRoyMerch.com. Fungalore poster by Willow Quillen. A bunch of other stuff. And 10% of all proceeds this month will go to Equality Florida, so go check that out. Thanks to Montane also for these four themes on my life. Is better with you.

If you're in the Huntington area this weekend, you can catch the second weekend of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that Sidney and I directed. It's a lot of fun, it's very good. It shows at 8.30, there's a great pre-show before it, and you can go to ghprd.org to find out all about it. Justin, will you do this wish for Fungalord, please? Oh, happily.

Okay. Oh. I wish Blood Pressure Machines had a more satisfying ending. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me. Kiss your dads, square off the lips. Ah, it's better, it's better with you It's better with you

Ah, it's better, it's better with you Yes, it's true Ah, it's better, it's better with you My life Ah, it's better with you