My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 717: Face 2 Face: Spectral Gentleman Caller James Griffin

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Tacoma is more haunted than you think, especially live from the thoroughly haunted Pantages Theater. But that didn’t stop us from discussion of important donut etiquette, ghostly gentleman callers, and startling parrots. Suggested talking points: Co-Dependent Ghosts, Factory Reset Justin, Oh Boy Here We Go, It’s Funny Because You Can’t Buy A Dream House, New Game Plus Grandma, Chekov’s Eggs Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed. Oh, Travis insists he's a sexpert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? One, two, three, four!

It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripen into a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you

My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah ah ah ah ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, ah ah ah ah ah ah, it's better with you. Hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother just Justin Tyler McElroy Y'all don't know how lucky you are that was the first time Justin and Griffin have ever hugged and you got to see it

What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middle brother Travis big dog a wiffa Wuffa McElroy. I'm your, I'm your sweet, what's up Trav Nation, I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. You guys can't, thank you, you guys can't, thank you so much. You guys can't have a fucking duo hug over there while I sit and watch and I don't also get one. It was not a play thing. We didn't exclude you. We didn't set it up.

It fucking felt like it. We stayed out. We were bowing to the audience. We were waving. You daddled back to your safe chair as quick as you could. Everybody who watched, it was super organic, right? It wasn't like planned, right? It was just like, oh my gosh, let's hug.

You know what I mean? We weren't waiting for you to sit down before we, I turned, I turned. You were gone. Yeah. We're on their time now. I'm trying to give them as much show as we possibly can. I am the show.

Yeah, but not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah., some of you. Can I just say, it is lovely to be back here in the Pantages Theater, which we have only just recently learned. This is how Paul walked us into this theater tonight, at Soundcheck. Okay, and how are the lights sound, guys? How are the lights looking?

Sorry, no, wait, I... Well, Griff, you said how do the lights sound. I did say that. So now we have to... Go ahead and... Okay, and how do the lights sound, guys? How the lights looking? They looking good? Sorry, no, wait, well, Griff, you said how do the lights sound. I did say that. So now we have to... Go ahead and, sorry. Well, they're not professionals, they don't know. The behind the scenes kind of lingo-y. And this is what the Q&A mic's gonna look like.

There are five ghosts here, and the monitors will be about that loud. Just casually dropping that there's a quintet of ghosts here. Which isn't even true because Warren, who was very lovely, Warren here at the theater walked us through the ghosts. Oh, yes. And started listing them off and it was like, here's one, here's two, here's three, here's four. One is Mr. Pantages himself, so congrats.

Quick, quick, he's number one, up in the balcony, if you're up in that zone. I didn't know Pantages was named after a person. I thought it was just a name that came up with her theater. So when he said Mr. Pantages, it sounded like Mr. Fantastic to me. Mr. Boombastic, it has a lot of- Or Mr. Peanut kind of deal. That's Mr. Pantages. He has other theaters,

but he picked this one to haunt. So, gotta feel good about that to come up. But it's actually, there's four ghosts, and then the fifth one was a couple. That's two ghosts. I don't like if me and my lady love perish together tragically. They're gonna count us as one ghost.

I would accept 1.5 of a ghost if they always show up together. Yeah, codependent. Yeah. One of the ghosts is an usher. And Warren told us that people have told him that they were like about to fall. And then luckily that usher helped me.

And then they're like, there is no usher here. Which is like, that kind of sounds like ghosts taking American jobs. A little bit. I see. Now we need like no shade of the Pantages, but I think you should pay your staff. So that ghosts-

And not rely on ghosts to do that for you. I would also make the argument, if that person was about to fall and a ghost usher saved them and you're like, we don't have an usher, there is an underlying of like, we don't care if you fall. I will also say we already have a word for ghosts that help you. They're angels. Thank you so much. This is a If the person comes up you can goes an usher help me. How do you know it was an usher? They vanish okay, you heard the part where Warren said they vanished Yeah, but I think it would have been a different conversation if the attendee had known they were a ghost anyway

Yeah, with that very nice usher we didn't it was a go We did not know when we walked in here that we were doing a show at fucking yokai watch tonight But apparently that is the situation at hand and I'm so so proud for it This is an advice show as you've certainly gathered by this point And what we do is we take the your questions turn them alchemy-like into wisdom. I want to say thanks to Jervin Thor, they're ASL interpreters. You'll see here to stage left. Thank you so much.

We get donuts in the office pretty often, and I'm the only person that takes a whole donut. I see people cut bits off and go about their day while I sit and eat an entire donut like a normal person. Should I adjust to their ways or go on living my best donut life? And that's from Donut No Witch. This is not gonna go the way you hoped. I like that you said adjust to their ways like it was a cultural difference.

We, our writer that we have for shows, the only thing that we have on it that's like, I don't know, finicky, interesting. We ask for the best donuts in the city. Yeah. Just like whoever has the best, what you think is the best, best doesn't. And it is the knives and the segmenting are very structured

exactly everyone must segment the doughnuts because what if there's an extra special delicious one yeah and you enjoy it all on your own that's no good have a whole glazed donut all to yourself yeah no one's gonna begrudge you if there's a donut that has like like cocoa pebbles on top or whatever and you take the whole thing your history's greatest monster. No. It's the worst. Yeah. And there's actually, I would say, a sliding scale of like, it's kind of, especially like a double chocolate.

Yeah. Double chocolate place. Ooh, ooh. You can take half of that, right? Yeah. But then there's like one, it's like a, it's got like maple bacon on top of it. You could take a quarter of that. Yes. Well, and by the way, this is confusing. We will provide you all with a handout

as you leave, go by the door. There is, in our box backstage that we were brought, someone shaved off what looks to be 1 16th of an eclair. Yeah, yeah. Which is maybe pushing it a little bit too much. Which is appreciated, because if you're ordering donuts and you go, I need two eclairs in that box, you're a monster.

Yeah, well, I don't- See, no one agreed with that. No. No. Griffin and I didn't, and they did it, and no one agreed. We, Juice and I did this thing we do sometimes when one of us says something, the other two are like,

let me see if the audience agrees with this before I react. This is why I really love how much we all sound alike. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Because if someone wasn't really paying attention to the recording, I'd get off scoffing. That's true. What donut are you guys looking for when you pop open a fresh box, New Town?

You still got those New Town blues. And you're looking for, that's not what they call it, but like. No, you hit those New Town blues. Turn the page. You pop open the box. Here I go, eating donuts again. Right, right, right.

Okay, yeah, good. But like what do- See, here I was just thinking that being on the road made me a little depressed, but you're saying it's just the new town blues. It's just the new town blues. Okay. Just being in a new town.

You know, anytime you visit a new city and you're like, ugh. Yeah, I thought, I thought I was being separated from my wife and children But it's actually just the newtown blues you're saying it's just the being in a new town jet lag or sleeping in a different bed Or agoraphobia any number it's just new town. This sounds so fucking new. I wasn't here last night The buses are a different color than my buses back home. Now I'm sad. Here's what I'm saying.

Here's what I'm saying. By tomorrow morning, I'm going to be Tacoma Jay. Yeah. By tomorrow morning, this is my town. You know what I mean? Well, don't get too excited, because you're here tonight. So I've still got those Newtown blues. Yeah.

And I am going to shake them off and do the best I can. Wait, does that mean when you get home, it takes time to transition back to Huntington Jay? No. Huntington Jay is this. That's a factory reset. That's the default position. That's just back to the base model.

Yeah, exactly. To answer your question, red velvet with a cream cheese icing. Oh. That's what I'm looking for. I look like a blueberry cake. Oh, that's a good one. And can everybody tell me your favorite donut?

One, two, three, go. Straight? Wrong. Straight glazed. Me too, me too. Straight glazed? Just glazed. Is this like, no wait a minute.

Are you fucking with me, Griffin? Is this like the cheese pizza thing? Or the, what was it? Was it Raisin Bran? Is your favorite cereal? Raisin Bran Crunch, Raisin Bran Crunch. A glaze? What do you learn about yourself when you eat a glazed donut?

It's OK. I'm not all of it. You eat a fruity pebbles donut. What you've just enjoyed. By the way, that's a smoke screen to cover up a subpar donut. That's what I'm saying. A really good glazed donut, hot and fresh out of the thing that they cook those in

What's that room called? The cook the cookery. Oh, you get it That's good shit. I don't need a bunch of other stuff on there. I don't never I think Griffin up until this one I've been judging your food choices. I've never appreciated, you're just a simple man. I am, my tummy doesn't like to be surprised. My tummy likes them right over the plate. Kind of slow, slow and over the plate. It should go on the plate.

That's how eating works. Rolling it gently past the plate. You like to big it up off the plate as food does. Yeah, yeah. That should be a rule by the way, if a pinch doesn't make it past the plate and rolls on the plate. You like to pick it up off the plate as food does. Yeah. That should be a rule by the way. If a pitch doesn't make it past the plate and rolls on the plate and you pick it up and throw it as hard as you can, that counts as a hit.

Yeah, man. Kick ass. I don't think that happens very much, but we don't watch a ton of baseball. You all like my mushroom shirt? All right. Thanks. I, last time we did a tour last month,

I wasn't really thinking and I only packed enough clothes counting this shirt and I ended up flying home through TSA wearing this shirt. And I- It's a statement piece. I was a- And that statement is, I love drugs. That statement is, yeah, I've got something in here. Yeah, yeah. And I might have or might not is, that statement is, uh, yeah, I've got something in here.

Yeah. Yeah. And I might have or might not have, that's irrelevant, but the thing is that's important is, when I got up there, I was like, well, this is kind of embarrassing, but there's no way they're going to say, very first dude's like, whoa, look at this shirt.

Fucking verbatim. Then I kid you not, he yells to another dude like hey you gotta come see this Now and he said I can't look at it too long cuz I'm getting a little freaked out like damn So my shirts making you high okay, that's good. It's fine If I in all seriousness J man, I'm working that job. I see a man wearing that shirt I think he wants me to comment on this shirt. Yeah, that's not a shirt you wear and think, I just want to lay low. Yeah. But it was, I just didn't think about it. It seems like it provided that razzle dazzle so that you could actually sneak drugs through the

border. They're so busy looking over here that they're not paying attention to the machine. That's neither here nor there, Griff. Um, hey, hi everybody. Hi. I'd like to seamlessly introduce a very special segment. Jesus Christ. So for live shows, I like to roll out some special guests digitally that are not here,

but rather once around Saturday Night Live. In a segment that I call With Special Guests. With Special Guests. I did so shitty at this game last night. This is a very objective kind of game where I say the name of the host and the name of the musical artist and Justin and Griffin are trying to guess the vibe with which they deliver the intro. Okay.

An abstract concept. Not that abstract. Extr- okay. You should try it from this side of it once. Let's see the first combination. Matt Dillon introducing Arctic Monkeys, it is the second song. That is more important than you think. The second song introduction, they've been doing live comedy for an hour.

They're a little petered out at that point. You don't get a lot of energy, a lot of hype from Matt Dillon on this one. I will also, there are bonus points here if you want a bonus point. I'll give a bonus point. There is a striking element in the lighting, I'll say lighting, sound, costume, one of those kinds of things

that has nothing to do with his delivery. Okay, okay. The fuck is that? What, in what? It's either lighting, sound, or cost, you either see it. Light, sound, sight, it's either something you see, or something you sound, sight, it's either something you see or something you hear.

Listen, it's a bonus point. I'm giving you a bonus point. For guessing. In the darkness. A phenomena. In the darkness. Okay. Matt Dillon in the darkness.

Oh. I feel I've oversold it. Matt Dillon's in the darkness and he is reciting Arctic Monkeys like a monastic chant. I've definitely oversold it. I think he's wearing a chubby. I think he's wearing a chubby. And he says it like as though the tone is like, who else could it be? You know what I mean?

Before we get to it, I want to say that the lighting effect is their inability to light Matt Dillon's eyes. Okay, roll it. Once again, Arctic monkeys. These fucking guys! I nailed it. I definitely get a point for that, absolutely, no question. I mean, it's possible Matt Dillon does not have eyes.

It's really... It is striking. I will say there is a striking choice that's been made. I do think Justin at least gets a half point on it. Justin gets a half point. Half point. How do you figure? No way. Everyone be quiet. How is me saying exactly how he's gonna do it

in the most abstract fucking game on the planet? Apologies. You know what? You're right. Three quarters of a point. Okay. Next combination. Jackie Chan introducing Kid Rock. Okay, here's what it is, right? He's got a secret and the secret is Kid Rock

is playing next like this. Once again, Kid Rock. Oh, it's like a naughty scene. Yeah, he's kind of excited about it. I think he tries to yell it like Kid Rock yells it in that one song. Kid Rock! Like they do it in the song. It's the song Ball With The Ball. Don't act like you don't know it. I don't. It's called Devil Without a Cause. No, it's not. It's called Devil Without a Cause.

It's called Ba-Wa-Da-Ba. It's called Devil Without a Cause. Oh guys, no one here gives a half of a shit. What the heck? No, no, no, we're settling this. Who's the biggest Kid Rock fan? Let's go. 100 skill testing questions of your knowledge.

The song is called Ba-Wa-Da-Ba. Okay, but the album... Hey guys, you think I lost there, but if you think about it, I won. Well, I had Old Man Rock in that one Taz show we did, and that's the only reason I know. Now that's important, roll the clip! Once again, Kid Rock! Oh, no, I couldn't have been fucking wronger! The staccato on that! Kid Rock. Oh, no, I couldn't have been fucking wronger. The staccato on that.

Kid Rock. He's so excited. Kid Rock. No points on that round. Fuck. So far it's three quarters of a point to nothing. You know what, Justin? Seven eights.

I was wrong. I see now, seven eights. Paul, next clip. Tough but fair. Scarlett Johansson, introducing Wiz Khalifa. Can I just say, according to this Wikipedia article about Kid Rock, in 2009, Bawit Dabal was named the 47th best hard rock song of all time by VH1.

Are you guys doing okay over there? 47th? Are you sure about that one, guys? There's been a lot of songs. There's like more than 47 songs for sure. Scarlett Johansson? Man, I don't fucking know. I'm so shitty at this game. I have no clue man. No way Okay, no wait I do know It's just coming to you with perfect clarity and maybe this is what I hope but

I think you know the one character. She's like look at that one and look at that one with the Maybe she's like, look at that one and look at that one with the, maybe she's like acting like that character. She's like in character. Okay. She's like in character. Check this out. Normal, boring, nothing weird about it, even a little bit.

Okay, let's roll the clip. Ladies and gentlemen, Wiz Khalifa. Damn it. You were almost right, but at the end she had a secret. She got shy about Wiz Khalifa. She's a little bit ashamed. She is a little bit bashful about this. You didn't make Wiz Khalifa.

This is cheapish. No, this is like you got someone a present. You're really proud of the present. But you don't want to seem like you're really proud of the present. I don't know, it's just something. I got you some Wiz Khalifa. I had a Wiz Khalifa starter. It belonged to my grandmother. I you some Whiz Khalifa. I had a Whiz Khalifa starter, it belonged to my grandmother.

Don't worry about it. I made my own Whiz Khalifa. I guess I saw this Whiz Khalifa at like a craft market. It's stupid, it's just Whiz Khalifa, just forget it. Just Whiz Khalifa. You're gonna hate it. Yes, you're gonna hate it. I grew the Whiz Khalifa from seed.

It's fine, don't worry about it. Okay, one last one. Jerry Seinfeld. All right. Introducing Annie Lennox. Oh man, I think it's Peek's fucking Seinfeld, baby. Hey, hey, like that, hey, hey. Yeah.

Annie Lennox, that was so bad. I thought Jerry was here with me. Yeah, yeah. If I had closed my eyes, Griffin, I would have been like, Gerald? Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think he's surprised. It's like, ladies and gentlemen, Annie Lennox.

Like, like. We're both so shitty at this. Well, no, hold on. Roll the clip. Once again, Annie Lennox. I'm giving it to Justin. Justin wins with one and 15, 16 points. Thank you, everyone. He seems not only surprised to be introducing Annie Lennox,

but surprised that Annie Lennox exists. It's the second song. Once again, Annie Lennox. It's implied that he thought she died. He's like, what? I know. Annie Lennox. It should be like, I know! I'm surprised too! Any Linux?

I have a problem with my own brother. Wait. Have you started a new question? Yeah, it's a question. What are you guys, why is everybody being so weird? That's the question. It starts like this. The phrase in my own brother suggests

that there is a beef we share, and they're commenting on... I have a problem with my own brother suggests that there is a beef we share, and they're commenting on... I have a problem with my own brother. Like, you know how people normally have problems with other people's brothers? Well, get this. I have a problem with my own brother. Ever since me and my brother were kids, he has never liked fried chicken. While I don't get it, I always try to support him growing up. Beautiful.

At a certain point in college, he decided to act like he loved fried chicken. He recommends his quote favorite chicken spot and claims it's always been one of his favorite foods. While I understand that tastes change, y'all this is where it gets pretty demented, okay? While I understand that tastes change, I've seen him eat fried chicken and can tell that he doesn't like it. I even once heard him.

I even once heard him whisper, oh boy, here we go. Oh boy, here we go. Oh boy, here we go. Had Sam from Quantum Leap jumped into his body? I heard him whisper. You don't understand, Al. If he doesn't eat his fried. I heard him win. You don't understand Al, if he doesn't eat his fried chicken, JFK dies. He whispered, oh boy, here we go, right before taking a bite.

What? Ha ha ha ha. Now I'm gonna have to chew it and everything. I just want my brother to live his best life without having to act like he loves fried chicken Brothers how do I help him out of this facade? He's made for himself. That's from fried chicken froggy. Are you here? All right? Second question wait follow-up question is your brother here, okay? Okay, follow-up question. Is your brother here?

Okay. Hey, hold on, no, no, wait, okay. Let's get this done really quickly. Hey, brother, do you like fried chicken? Yes! Now hold on, Griffin! Now wait, stop. The question would tell us unreliable narrator.

Now wait, can you do me a favor, brother? I'm assuming you have a name, but we're not gonna get that far. I need you to me a favor, brother? I'm assuming you have a name, but we're not gonna get that far. I need you to say it again, but this time, just don't yell, I need to really hear you. And everybody close your eyes. Just be like, I need to really believe it. Okay, I'll count to three and then just like say it like, We'll ask again. From your heart.

From your heart. Do you like fried chicken? Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? Okay. Wait, oh, wait, wait, what? He is here trying to convince everyone with my black light. Okay, this is the other brother that we're fucking hearing now. You guys sound, hey listen. We don't need anything from you.

This is the pot calling the kettle black. Y'all sound wicked alike. That was confusing for us on the stage. Yeah, I really feel hoisted by my own batard right now. No, no, no, no. If I'm following correctly, this is a long con by the brother who wrote in to convince everyone else that you hate fried chicken.

It could be either one. I instinct everyone else that you hate fried chicken. It could be either one. I instinctively side with the younger brother. Laughter. May, could I, could I suggest even this was the case? Fried chicken shows up. Oh boy, here we go. Was it perhaps in that intonation? What's the case? Fried chicken shows up. Oh boy, here we go. Ha-na-na-na-na.

Was it perhaps in that intonation? Because that suggests a genuine, authentic excitement for the fried chicken experience that is about to happen. I don't know what to believe. Yeah, see, this is the problem with having two brothers is there's no oldest brother. If you had an oldest brother- Is there a third sibling present? Can I finish my great fucking joke?

Can I maybe just finish my great joke? Oh boy, here we go. If you, if you, if you listen, if you have an oldest brother, you know that he's a tiebreaker. So if there are three brothers, then they could vote on whether or not the middle one likes fried chicken. Yeah. And then that would be conclusive.

That's true. What the- Wait, I don't want that decided by you guys. Well, as you've proven recently, you have very bad decision-making powers. Remember when you interrupted my extremely kick-ass joke? And I'm still waiting to hear that joke. I'm so excited.

No, man, people are still busting. It's a long con. It's a long con. Sass. I mean, he probably, he likes fried chicken, I bet. It's pretty good. Occam's Razor, if you're going to imagine that he doesn't like fried chicken or he doesn't, just consider the fact that fried chicken's pretty fucking good,

and so maybe your brother likes fried chicken. That's the way I'm leaning on this. Wait, now, wait, now, hold on. Counterpoint, does anybody in here not love to eat fried chicken all the time? Please, yeah. Wow. Why are they all on this side?

Did you all coordinate that? Hey, hey, hey, real quick, before you go in, do you hate fried chicken as much as I do? Yes, have I got the area to sit in for dinner? Why is that brother sitting all the way over here then with all the people that love fried chicken are over here? Did you not get their flyer on your way

into the theater tonight? Did the ghost usher tell you guys which side to sit on? Yeah, do you like fried chicken? Over here. This way please. Right this way. How about other questions? I'd sit on. Yeah, do you like fried chicken? Over here. This way, please. Right this way. How about other questions?

I'd love that. I am a student teacher in first grade classroom and my birthday is coming up soon. I know my kids are going to try to give me quote gifts since they do that even when it's not my birthday. So far I received a dead lady bug, an unfolded paper clip and anything else they find on the floor that is deemed worthy. Brothers, what is the best way to keep a straight face when kids give you weird gifts? That's from living in the present.

Are you here? All right. Can I let you in? I have two children. I don't want to brag. I have two of them. And I can't recommend the power of the sound, oh! I know.

It's great, like as adults, you get it. Yeah. But when a child hears an adult go, oh! Yeah. It sounds so promising. It's a great feeling sound while you get it in order that a child is handing you a dead bug as a gift. Yeah.

I mean, in the beautiful mind of a child's eyes, anything can be a toy. I've learned that from having two children myself. I don't mean to brag. Damn it, you caught me. I'm just saying in the beautiful mind of a child's eyes, an unfolded paper clip could be a cool sword and a dead ladybug could be...

A snack. Not a snack. A Pokemon. Whoa. Wow. You know, also an unfolded paper clip in the beautiful eyes of a career criminal can be a lockpick. That's cool, yeah.

Or it can hold documents together with a little bit of work. A DIY paperclip. It's a puzzle. Do you remember what a paperclip looks like? I bet it's harder than you think. Hey, I'm Clippy and I'm here to... Ah! I have a little purgatory on top of the fridge for stuff like this. Yes.

If I want to throw something away but I don't know if I can get away with it, I put it up there on top of the fridge for stuff like this. Yes. If I want to throw something away, but I don't know if I can get away with it, I put it up there on top of the fridge purgatory. And if nobody asked me about it in two weeks, right in the trash. Right in the trash it goes. But if they ask about it, like, where's that great picture I drew of you or whatever. Hey, keep those.

Those are good, choose. And listen, you get three or four of those a day, it gets old. You go, that's why I didn't throw it straight in the trash. I put it on top of the fridge for a while. All right. Sheesh. Bunch of helicopter parents in here.

I don't think that's what a helicopter... Yikes. I don't think so either. Saving all their children's drawings. Glueing all their children's drawings to the propellers and what have you. Ha ha! These helicopter parents.

Just throw them in a big drawer. Okay. And save them. And then at the end of the school year, fill that drawer with resin. Ha ha ha, cool. I saw this on Five minute crafts one time. Yeah.

And then, and then you have all the kids sort of etch their hand prints or names or whatever. If I don't know if they're writing or what. Yeah. Touch that resin kids. Yeah. Touch the resin. In a table that belongs to the school.

Yeah. No, you pop the resin out right at the end of the year. And then it's yours to keep as a memorial of that year. As a meo or whatever. Oh then Adam slowly add more and more resin over time. That's cool. You build a house out of it. Yeah I love that. Hey thanks for having me over there's a lot of dead ladybugs in the walls. I can see them. Yeah it turns out I don't know how to make resin so it's just glue it's just a bunch of loose glue. I should've come up with a recipe or something. Jalalalalala.

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Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Jalalala. Munch. I want to Munch. Welcome to Munch Squad.

It's podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest. Thank you. Thank you. You looked cold Count Donut. My cape got stuck in costumes. Yeah, it happens. Hey, did you hear us talking about donuts earlier? It's just because it had so much blood all over it.

The cape was drenched. Hey man, don't look at the back of my pants. I wasn't planning all that. Yeah, sure. I think we can all feel the tension between us, Count Donut. Crispy, crispy cream is releasing no donuts with music icon Dolly Parton. All right!

All right! All right! All right! All right! When it comes to pairing sweets for the first time, it doesn't get any sweeter than this. I don't understand what they want me to feel. Yeah, no, I know. Reading that sentence, I mean.

Read it one more time? When it comes to pairing sweets for the first time, it doesn't get any sweeter than this. The fuck does that mean, man? When it comes to pairing sweets... For the first time, it doesn't get any sweets. The fuck does that mean, man? When it comes to pairing sweets. For the first time. I don't know, I can read 13 different languages. I've been alive for so many centuries. Yeah.

I cannot parcel this out. No, it's tough. When Krispy Kreme and global superstar Dolly Parton unveiled the Dolly Southern Sweets Donut collection. Okay, Josie, looking at this picture again, sorry to interrupt Count Donut. I've heard about you. Yeah, he's not sorry even a little bit.

Continuing the trend of any time, mostly Krispy Kreme, but at donut places, like here's four special donuts. You can see like two donuts, Continuing the trend of any time, mostly Krispy Kreme, but a donut place is like, here's four special donuts. You can see like two donuts, they put a ton of thought into. One donut, they're like, this is different. And the fourth donut is like, I don't know.

Y'all like nuts? I don't fucking know, man. Four, you try coming up with four new donuts. But no one set that standard. No one was like, if you're gonna put out a package, it's gotta be four donuts or nothing. Count Donut, I'm so sorry. Dolly Dazzler donut.

That's an original glazed. You would probably like that, huh? I mean, no, it's got a bunch of shit on it, Count Donut. I would get your nanny to wipe it off for you, don't know the baby. Hey, hold on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, you can't talk to me like that, Count Jonah.

I am immortal, I have lived for a thousand years. I can speak to you however I wish. You forget your place. You forget your place, McElroy baby. This one indulgence, you've been granted. Thank you. I'll never walk afoul of you again. Peachy-kin cobbler doughnuts. It's an unglazed doughnut. Oh, I bet you're salivating already, but bad news,

there's things on top again, Griff. It's an unglazed donut filled with real peach filling. I can tell, because it's oozing. Have you ever heard of a donut being advertised as unglazed? No, I don't think so. It's quite an odd feature to include. Oh, delicious.

No sugar, you say? I love that they clarify real peach fillet. Yeah. This filled with fake peaches. We wouldn't lie to you again. Where did we get them? We don't know. Yeah.

Banana pudding pie. An un-glazed doughnut filled with banana pudding made with wafers and the banana pudding crime it says K R E M E that's horrifying what's again they felt the need to be like I don't think people will believe that there's filling in this doughnut unless we have just a little bit oozing out the bottom squinch that's the side where they feel it from. It's not magical. You need to put that in the picture though Count Donut.

I like to know there's filling inside. It's a little strange. You don't say their word for it when they say there is? If you want to join your brother in the grave, I beg of you one more time. Did you say in the grave? Yes, if you want to join your brother in the grave. Are you gonna fucking kill me Count Donut?

Chocolate cream pie. An original glazed donut topped with a swirl of chocolate brownie cream. Why do they say this? Why did they do the swirl like a poo? The kids love it. All the Roblox kids are wild. It's a skibbity donut. Skibbity donut. Having some of my favorite Southern flavors

in one unique donut collection from Krispy Kreme is so special to me, Barton says. These donuts remind me of home. So I'm excited for folks to share them with their family and friends. They're pretty sweet if I do say so myself. In fact, they're so sweet for the first time. Together?

For the first time? For the first time together, they're so sweet. With sweet pairing. They help celebrate the introduction of Dali Southern's we do not collection Chris McQueen is inviting everyone to get dollied up and visit shops on Saturday May 18th there's still time to coma to get dollied up anyone dollied up from being totally

dolly decked out to wearing a belly important wig or their favorite Dolly merch. Pretty much any iconography of the woman I think will suit you. And then you will receive a free original glazed donut. Fuck yeah, man. That Dolly Parton will pay for out of her own pocket. She can afford it, I think. With money she would have otherwise given to charity.

No, I... Wow, what a twist. I bet she's got enough. Did you expect this twist, Griffin? It's a moral quandary for every donut you eat. Dolly has less money for charitable uses. What could be sweeter than an unglazed donut filled with broken promises. Well, it's one filled with a chocolate cookie brownie crumble.

Krispy Kreme and Dolly Parton have one special thing in common. We both love to share joy. The fu- what? Is that the only thing they have in common, do you think? We disagree on everything. Krispy Kreme and Dolly Parton have a they have in common, do you think? They both. We disagree on everything. Krispy Kreme and Dolly Parton have a special thing in common, we both love to share joy, says Dave Skinner. Oh Dave.

Global chief brand officer for Krispy Kreme. It was a joy and an honor to collaborate with Dolly to create her signature donut collection. These donuts are going to dazzle and delight fans, just like Dolly herself. You know what I'd like to imagine Count Donut? Yes, please take me inside your darkest urges. Countless, countless phone calls, emails

from Dolly Parton to Kris Z Kreme. Please, please let me collaborate with you. Please make a swan. We don't know Dolly. Do we have anything in common? I got this kick ass idea for a donut. Krispy Kreme, please, please let me collaborate with you. Please make the swally. Do we have anything in common? I got this kick ass idea for a donut. Well, I got two kick ass ideas, one sorta, and then I don't know.

I'm sorry y'all, that fork doesn't look skimity enough. My nephew says it's not skimity unless it looks like a real poo. The butterfly is nice though. It is a real poo. The butterfly is nice though. It is a nice touch. It is a nice touch. Okay. Whoa!

Goodbye, Cantona. Hey. What'd I miss? I'm back. Cantona rolled up. No shit? Yeah, he rolled up and. I always miss him.

He threatened Griffin's life. He said he was gonna fucking kill me, Justin. I- I paid him to do that. Why? Wait, what? I waxed genitals for a living. Okay. I absolutely love my job.

And for the most part... No, you gotta put in clearer... You gotta put in clearer checkpoints. Trying something new. A new, sorry, a new question has begun. I didn't think you needed me to do this for you. I think everybody kinda likes the in-media res energy. It's nice, you gotta rush to catch up, right?

It makes it more of a thinker, you know? Kind of a brain-fisher. I'm just having a great time with my brothers. Yeah, me too. So I absolutely love my job. And for the most part, keep the- What was the job again? I wax genitals for a living.

I absolutely love my job. And for the most part, keep the conversation flowing with my clients throughout their appointment. Which I've been told helps them through the pain. Which is what I would definitely tell the person that is removing hair from my genitals if they asked if everything was going okay. Yeah, for sure. I would be extremely easy to get along with, no question.

Every now and then, I get a client who I just can't quite spark the conversation with. What are some great no-fail conversation topics I can bring up with my clients to get them chatting as I rip the hair from their loins. That's from waxing wangs and more in Washington. Are you here? Fantastic. And you're a, a hydra. Yeah, what I love without fail, I would say actually nine times out of 10 when we say,

are you here? It's the present and who they're with. Which is awesome. I love that. I love that so much. I love that. Yeah. So back to the question at hand. I've never had my genitals waxed, not to brag.

You know what's fucked up, Travis? I don't even want to know that about you specifically. The lack of information is too much. The closest I get. Knowing which way, which side of the binary you fall on on that particular topic, I don't enjoy knowing as your brother. Huh. Me neither.

Yeah. I wish I did it. I would prefer to not even think of that entire zone. The waxing of my genitals is unknown. I have Schrodinger's genitals. Yeah, cool. I will, I will give you- That wasn't the end of the point.

I will give you $250 American to please move forward with whatever you're saying. So the closest reference I have is like going to the dentist, right? And the guy was like, yeah, this is fucking same, man. Point out where I'm wrong. I've been to the dentist many, many, many, many, many, many times. I was at the dentist last week.

Yeah, and I can see that there's no hair on your teeth. Think about it. So if it's anything like my experience, you should have like a Magic Eye poster on the ceiling or like some kind of funky like, the ceiling titles they can count, right? While they're trying not to think about the thing they're experiencing.

That's what I want out of the Star Group Stamps. The only truly safe conversation topic is sometimes that people have removed hair from your genital area Oh, I don't actually want that that's the one thing that you know You have in common is that you've both been in this experience, right? So if you bring that up, it's pretty safe conversational topic other you do. Okay, that's good That's a really good story

It would be weird if you were doing it to other people and then once I what you were like, but not me Not me do this. Are you fucking out of your mind? Once again, if I went to the end of something, like you need to give that cavity filth, I mean, I wouldn't. I, it's actually harder than, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, trying to come up with all purpose conversation stories, because there's some that like,

that seem like they are good, that you heard bring up in a lot of conversations that actually don't work, like favorite movie. There's about 80% of the answers that you're gonna say to that, I will have absolutely nothing to add. That's a stop, because you say the answer, that's done.

Well, kind of, but what food could you eat the most of? Now you're talking. I don't know that I wanna talk about that while I'm being whacked. Griffin, what do you want to talk about, man? I'm realizing not a lot of stuff. I mostly, I think, want to be spoken to and not have the onus of speaking back. If you could just beatbox while you're... And that can be fun because you can be like like, boop, stah, ja, stah, boop, stah, rip! Do it like in time. So like, I'm kind of like grooving,

but I also know like, when it's coming. If you always rip it off when the bass drops, that would feel wild, because you're like, I want it to drop. Yeah. But. And then next time I'm at the Skrillex show, I'm going to get some confusing thoughts.

We, by the way, I meant to bring this up at our last staff meeting, but I guess now's as good a time as any. We've gotta learn some new. EDM guys. EDM guys. Yeah, sure. We, I talked about Skrillex last week,

and I think we all gotta learn some new EDM guys to talk about, okay? I think actually. I don't know who. Yeah. Don't get it confused. I don't know who. It's coming back get it confused. I don't know who. It's coming back around to SkrillX and then SkrillY

and then SkrillZ and I think you're on SkrillAA now. You're at SkrillAlpha actually is where we're at. Yeah, we definitely answered that one pretty good. Yeah, I think we nailed it. Hey, thanks, we'll be back after the break. Go use the bathroom. I love you, buy a poster, bye, we'll be right back. We love you, buy a poster, bye. We'll be right back. ["It's Better With You"] You know, with the weather lately, I have-

It's grateful. Yeah, I have quite a few garments that after stripping them from my body, I decide these are going right into the incinerator. These I'm done with. And what does that love me with? No clothing options. stripping them from my body, I decide these are going right into the incinerator. These I'm done with. And what does that left me with? No clothing options.

Where do I turn when I've had to burn on my favorite looks? What are you doing in these clothes? Just sweating, Griffin. You sweat so much they must be destroyed. You've been cleaned. They're destroyed. The fibers, the very fibers are worn down. I'm worried, Justin, you've lost touch with the price of a gallon of milk when you're like well I've sweated in these clothes

I shan't wear this outfit again wear the same outfit in one season Metaphorical we bought we be ball together. I know your sweat is not corrosive Do you want to buy clothes or don't they do so? Thank you, then go to Stitch Fix because they have professional stylists. They're gonna help you find a great look and it's gonna be in your budget, how much you wanna spend on clothes. It's gonna be to your taste.

And if you don't love the items that they send to you, you're gonna put them in a prepaid mailer and send them straight back. And they're washable, these clothes are washable. You're not gonna wear them at least twice. Yeah, you don't have to burn these clothes, and you shouldn't. You shouldn't.

Change of seasons, it's gotta mean a quick refresh in the wardrobe. Especially- Yes, I remember, the first day of every new season, you'll find Justin nude on his lawn, in front of a big steel barrel, just burning every piece of clothing. Yelling, come on, Stitch Fix, over and over again.

I hope I'm getting one soon, it sure is cold. It was a simple thought starter. I see. Style that makes you feel as good as you look, get started today at StitchFix.com slash brother. That's StitchFix.com slash brother. One last time, StitchFix.com slash brother. Hey Griffin. Yeah?

Do you got a website? Mm-hmm. Sorry, it's unclear to me. One last time, StitchFix.com slash brother. Hey Griffin. Yeah. Do you got a website? Mm-hmm. Sorry. It's unclear to me what that response is. Mm-hmm. I don't want to talk to you about this anymore. Justin, do you have a website?

Not anymore. Do you want one? Not anymore. Wait, what happened to your previous website? I heard Griffin. I heard Griffin. Oh. Griffin's turned you off the idea of websites altogether?

Give me a bulletin board or something, man. I can't go back to websites now. It only works on certain browsers. Oh boy. Oh boy. Well, you know, Squarespace websites work on all browsers, even the weird ones. You're doing a lot more than browsing over there, pal.

I can tell you that. I don't want to acknowledge Griffin's presence anymore. I don't want Griffin to exist anymore. Yes! Oh man. That's such a sweet deal in these ad reads. Squarespace thinks it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with the audience,

and sell anything from products to content to time. What? Yeah. Okay. Not like in that one movie where they have like the amount of time tattooed. We have said that in this particular ad, like so many times. Griffin, you're back.

Hi, what's up? Okay, start a completely personalized website. You can do anything on there. And Squarespace has Blueprint, which is their new guided design system. And listen, you can even do checkout on your thing. Make it seamless. Seamless? Yeah, seamless.

Wow, Trav. Now, I like seams. I thought the seams were a lot. I like to see how it all goes together, like a Frankenstein. Yeah. Not with Squarespace, no Frankensteins here. So go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to www.https.com

backslash backslash www.squarespace.com backslash mybrother. I don't think it's backslash. Forward slash? Who could tell? Okay, just save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Sure, try the slashes either way. Yeah, one or the other.

But oh God, please get it right. Don't do the up and down slash. It's no longer a slash. That's a pipe. Hey, this is Mike Cablon. It's you, Otteyway. And Sierra Cato. The hosts of TV Chef Fantasy League.

Where we apply fantasy sports rules to cooking competition shows. We're not professional chefs or fantasy sports bros. Just three comedians who love cooking shows and winning. We'll cover Top Chef, Master Chef, Great British Bake Off, whatever's in season really. Ooh, you know chefs love cooking whatever's in season. We draft a team of chefs at the top of every series. And every week we recap the episode and assign points based on how our chefs did.

And at the end of the season, we crown a winner. You can even play along at home if you want. Or you can just listen to us like a regular podcast about cooking shows. That's cool too. Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

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HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! podcast. Yes. Have you been having trouble with demons? Are you sleeping too much? Too little? Just right? We have the solution. It is to listen to Oh No Ross and Carrie. A show where we examine unusual claims. We show up so you don't have to. Find us on maximumfun.org. We won't actually heal you. Got a haunted doll watch. Ladies and gentlemen, in this extremely haunted building Thoroughly haunted one of the more haunted we thoroughly haunted thoroughly haunted. We're gonna invite a few more spirits Who's that that at the door?

Well, it's a spectral gentleman caller I Need to point out I need to point out, Justin was fucking busting so hard to these backstage as he was preparing this bit. I am very excited to see what you've cooked up for us in the lab. These are all a new company that is on the market. I'm not going to say the name because then you'll read all of them in your free time. So welcome a spectral gentleman caller.

The spirited realty tycoon of Alclar, James Griffin. James Griffin was a brave soldier in the Civil War from Alclar, Wisconsin. After the war, he put down his gun and picked up selling houses and land. He got really- It was good that he put down his gun and picked up selling houses and land. He got really- It's good that he put down his gun first. Yeah, yeah, sure.

He got really good at it and became a rich man in the 1870s. But James loved more than just selling big houses, he loved visiting people, especially ladies in their dreams. Ooh. Oh. Yeah.

He loved visiting people, especially ladies in their dreams. Now his spirit lives inside an old 3x5 photo That's taped to a box That's apparently one of the things that your soul can do is live that's so in a two-dimensional photo when you When you sleep James might pop into your dream. Nope wearing his fancy suit and hat and call out to you like an old friend. Actually yeah, actually yeah. He's very polite and loves to tell stories of his adventures. Oh that sounds great I would love that in my dreams. Even though

he was once a tough soldier, James has a soft spot for kind folks. But here's a twist. No it says that. Oh okay. But here's a twist. Sometimes James gets a little mixed up and thinks he's still selling houses. He might show up and try to make a deal with you. In your dream? It's funny because you can't really buy a dream house. Okay, wait. Jump back a second, Paul, to the previous image.

It says Brandolf, what, Steadigan? Mulligan? Like like it's a different name brand I think it says brand brand all Stulligan it's a fucking good name it actually says friend name hey guys it actually says brand off Stuttgart okay brands of Stultgart it's big behind it. It's like wicked big right there. A wildly different name. That's where the picture was taken. Brand of Stultgart. His name's not Brand, Brand Self Stultgart. No, it's a place, a place everybody knows about.

Including me. Just to check in, that's an American town with this American antlion? No, it's just a different, it's a photo, Travis, and it's not important. It's funny, because you can't really buy a dream house. That's what it says. Have they circled, I'm sorry, I do need to go back

to the last image. Have they circled the ectoplasm that Brantzoff has left on the? Yeah, they've circled the spectral goo that's left behind the image the bottom one does kind of look like there's some hidden writing yes jacket like some da Vinci code yeah are you ready to let James Griffin spirit into your home no he might make your dreams extra exciting it doesn't sound like

something if I buy this an old man will come tell me stories in my dreams. No fucking thanks, man. You might try to sell you your own home in your dreams, which is funny, because you can't really buy a dream house. It says it right here. It's funny because you can't really buy a dream house. Happy haunting and sweet dreams with James by your side.

Yeah. Next up. I wouldn't sleep with that picture by my, the light. Yeah. Next up. I wouldn't sleep with that picture by my... Huh. The light. Huh. The light. No.

No. No. It's a ceramic picture of Jesus. It's a ceramic Jesus is what they're looking at as a ceramic Jesus. He looks... It's a ceramic Jesus. This is what they're looking at as the ceramic Jesus. He looks, this is if Jesus ever caught you masturbating. And he was frozen in carbonite by the shock

of the Holy Never. What did I say about this? It is a very, I told you once, I told you a thousand times, Griffin. Now, Justin, would you say, do I have to share this with other people or is it my own personal Jesus? Okay, let me tell you all about it.

Flickering Hope, a hand-painted haunting in Adams, nine inches tall. Cool. This unique hand-painted lamp stands nine inches tall and depicts a serene image of Jesus Christ. I don't know that serene. Serene's not what I'd go with there. I do like that they've given him the same cool scar

I give every RPG character I've ever played. Yes, yes. Right there across the eye. Yeah, he looks like my commander shepherd. Which is appropriate. Yeah, he does. He is my shepherd,, which is appropriate. Yeah. He is my shepherd. He is my commander.

Right. He does have the facial expression of someone who recently said, I can take three times as many drugs as anyone in this room. Watch me go. The inscription. Off of the face of somebody that goes, I just don't feel Ben like you guys do.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Hit me. The inscription, Jesus is the light, adorns the base in a style that suggests a personal touch. So that's just a sort of table-setter image of Jesus, then. That has nothing to do with the lamp. Well, that's a different image that they're selling of Jesus being abducted.

Okay. No! That is not what I expected. Fuck me. Fucking even a little bit at all. God, it sucks. No, that's not it. That's not, that's neither Jesus nor Serene nor a lamp.

This sucks. No kidding. The concave nature of this Jesus's face means that like the ghosts in the haunted mansion, he will be watching you masturbate no matter where you are in relation to the lamp. Move your head side to side, right? It sucks. Why did they put the light are in relation to the lamp. Move your head side to side, right? It sucks.

Why did they put the light in that location of the lamp? It's like a fountain, except instead of water, it's a light and that. It's his throat. The inscription, Jesus is the light adorns the base in a style that suggests a personal touch. Far from a mass produced item, no shit. Yeah, no shit, they didn't make a million of these. It's not personal touch. Far from a mass produced item. No shit. Yeah, no shit.

They didn't make a million of these. It's not mass produced. Someone made one of these and they didn't say, I gotta make a half a million more. A lot of people are gonna wanna own one. I like that they threw the Ouija board behind there. Just to remind you. Yeah, still.

It's basically a religious thing. Donated anonymously. Yep. Yeah. After being discovered in an abandoned hospital Yeah, they do. It's basically a religious thing. Donated anonymously, yep. Yeah. After being discovered in an abandoned hospital located in Adams, Wisconsin. The lamp- They didn't take this with them?

The lamp possesses an undeniable aura of mystery. Ah. I'll fucking say, man. Spectral or no, it's mysterious that this exists. Our team at the Curious Curio company is captivated by this one of a kind. I don't care. One of a kind lamp.

The personal nature of the artwork hints at a deeper story. Perhaps. Ah, no. Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Perhaps a hopeful patient.

He looks more affronted in this. How is that possible? It doubles as, this is the Lamb of Jesus Christ, but also imagine a Star Trek episode where Riker was turning to a baby but kept the beard. He looks like Child Jesus as I drove him past the McDonald's. You said we'd stop, Baa Baa.

You said we could get some chicken nuggets. Now, baby Jesus, I done told you. But you said we could get some chicken nuggets. This ain't happening, Bob-O. I want some of them Grimmie shake. Bob-O, give me some fries. I swear, Janine, if he keeps acting this way, he's not gonna make it to 33.

Um... Ah! Sorry. Apple pie he so... Abba, pa, ba, ba. Why is he so radioactive? I wouldn't have done that joke in Canada. Yes. Go on. Thank you, Griffin. You see, the personal nature of the artwork hints at a deeper story. Perhaps a hopeful patient created it during their stay, seeking solace and comfort in

their faith. This is me editorializing now and finding none." What materials are you given in a hospital? You're like, you know what? What I'm going through now? Bring me a kiln. Yeah, please. The abandoned hospital in Adams adds another layer to the mystery. Was the lamp left behind by a patient in a hurry? Or a cherished memento forgotten by a departing staff member?

Now, folks, you'll notice at this point in Haunted Doll Watch, no claims have been made about any sort of haunting whatsoever, right? So far, they've said, yeah, it is a pretty weird lamp of Jesus, no? And, and J-Man, right there, they basically said, was it left behind by this kind of person or left behind by this kind of person? We don't know. We'll never know.

Well, we know it was unwanted. That's the one thing. If you want to make sure you don't get left behind, make sure you grab yourself this, this inverted Jesus lamp. Guys, you can put your own face into it. Yeah. See if it fits.

The lamp, now things are gonna get a little spookier, okay? Things at this point get scarier and scarier. The lamp functions surprisingly well. Oh. But, with an unsettling peculiarity, the bulb flickers erratically. Even, now I hear what you're about to say, On settling peculiarity, the bulb flickers erratically. Even, now I hear what you're about to say, let me cut you off.

Even with high quality replacements. The best bulbs, okay, they didn't go to Dollar General to buy a bunch of bulbs. These are primo bulbs. On rare occasions, a faint, hymn-like melody seems to emanate from the lamp when it sounds like this It sounds like it sounds not unlike a lamp about to explode The most intriguing anomaly is the occasional soft glow emanating from the figure of Jesus himself From the lamp? No Justin you expect it but it's almost like a flickering electrical kind of fire kind

of feeling. These events are unpredictable and defy scientific explanation. No they fucking do not! Now we get Ninja Turtle! Oh, you scared him. Now he's a ninja turtle. Jesus has activated his defenses. Jesus exoskeleton gold. Listen. If you soak him in water, he hatches out of it. Theory one, a beacon of hope.

Perhaps the lamp is a conduit for a benevolent spirit, a former patient or a staff member who found comfort in their faith. The flickering light and hymns might be attempts to connect with the living, offering solace and a reminder of hope. If you're a ghost and you choose to inhabit a picture or lamp or doll of Jesus Christ, that's kind of the big show,

ain't it? It's like stolen valor in a weird way. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A lost, theory two, a lost soul seeking solace. It's possible the lamp is tethered to a disoriented spirit unable to move on. The religious iconography provides a sense of familiarity.

You know, who wouldn't be comforted by this? Yeah. Ah. Guys, I went to church for- Ah, I'm home. I went to church for a wicked long time. This particular depiction of my savior is not familiar even in the least little bit. It more looks like he's selling me a guitar at a music store.

It does. The flickering light and soft glow from Jesus might be unintentional emanations of the spirit's presence. Light and soft glow from Jesus might be unintentional emanations of the Spirit's presence, or, if I may proffer a different theory, it is the electrical current currently surging through. Intrigued? Yes. If you're a believer in the unexplained or uninteresting and open to spiritual encounters, this hand-painted Jesus is the light lamp might be more than just a haunting curiosity.

Be prepared for the possibility of strange occurrences and a deeper contemplation of faith and the lingering spirits that may reside in abandoned places. Yeah, it's so weird. I bought this lamp and like everyone I knew stopped coming around. Unexplainable. Now here is something I bet you didn't know you could buy on eBay, guys. Oh! A grandmother. Yeah, you too can buy a grandmother on eBay, no problem.

God damn it. Oh my God. No, okay, Justin, I just saw the full title. Haunted photo, paranormal, high activity. A grandmother with a dying wish. Don't sell this. For $2.03. Now Travis, that's just an opening bid.

You can buy it now for 15. This, it says in the full listing, listing it says a kindly old grandmother's last wishes For because maybe you have a grandmother at home, but all of her wishes are done Yeah Once upon a time in the rural lands of Auclair, Wisconsin There lived a sweet grandma named all these- Why are all these Wisconsin ghosts? Yeah, off in the same town. It's like the Gravity Falls of Wisconsin.

Yeah, sure. Back in the 1940s, she was the heart of her family and they loved her apple pie. Okay. But Grandma Edith had a secret wish. To make peach cobbler. She whispered it to the wind on her last day, hoping it would reach her family.

Alas. Hey, Edith. There's wicked better ways to do that, Edith. Alas, her words got lost. In the wind? Until now. in the width until now. Her spirit lives now in a small four by four vintage photo,

which is better we can agree than like a printed out picture of Billie Eilish or something. It's a lot, makes a lot more sense that she's in a picture of a grandma. Her spirit lives in a four by four vintage photo and she's waiting patiently for someone to hear her message. Oh this secret's so fucking good! Juicy, also Justin, up till now they haven't clarified it's a photo of her. Yeah, it's just a photo of an old lady that provided her some comfort or solace, I'm assuming.

Yeah, she was like, yeah, I get it. It was sort of like this. I was an old lady once too. No, it's only 197. I saw another one earlier that was 698. The Jesus was way, way, way more. Yeah, this grandma was like three times. It's just a scale.

That's a Geiger counter. You must. Okay. Do not touch the Jesus. No. Folks say that at night lights flicker and a comforting scent of baking fills the air. Oh no.

That's Edith saying hello. She loves to chat through tarot cards and will make sure that you're never lonely. Okay. Hold on. Everything there doesn't comfort me. Yeah, that's a good point. I don't think, if she only chats through tarot cards,

there will probably still be times in my life where I'm quite lonely. Yeah, but I would also say, it's okay to be alone sometimes. Yeah, but I want- There are times where I definitely don't want to feel like someone's in the room. But imagine you could feel a warm, gentle touch

on your shoulder when you're thinking of her. Edith just wants to give her love and maybe finish that last bit of family business. That's what I'm, okay, this is, this is, no. Hey Griffin. We're not buying a grandmother, we're buying a grandmother's secret and then she's gonna turn, her business is done

and she's gonna turn into this. And I think that you're buying it hook line and sinker, my friend, because you are dying to know the secret wish. I just wanna jump back real quick to where it says a smell of baking, and that's her way of saying hello. Yeah. I own a home. I don't want to brag.

If there is a smell of something... Inexplainable. And the oven's not on. Yeah. And the stove's not on, but I can smell something baking, I'm not comforted. No, not going to love that.

That's not the feeling I have. Well, are you ready to welcome Grandma Edith and discover her dying wish? They're not gonna say it in here, right? Well, no, you gotta pay for it for sure. She's- Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. She's eager to become part of your family and bring a sprinkle of 1940s charm to your home.

Thank you, Grandma. Remember, Edith is all about warmth and family. Open your heart and she will surely reveal her long kept secret to you. Damn it. But then she'll probably be gone. She'll disappear, this is what I'm saying. I'm not gonna buy a fucking one shot Grandma

who's gonna be like. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I want a grandma with the replay value yeah what should be like I'm I'm my own I'm my own grandma poof what if no I want a grandma with new game plus yeah exactly what if it's just a hot take what if she's just like Godfather was mid goodbye and then you're like wait no come back what do you. What do you mean? Wait, no, X-bound. It's too late, I'm going to hell.

We're gonna move on to the audience question part of the program. You all have sent in your queries. We have selected some. We're going to call you down by name and seat number. Please don't come down if we don't call you. It'll be awful for everyone in this room all at once. So go ahead and come on down if you want to tell us

your name, if you want to give us your pronouns, that would be amazing. And tell us your question and then we'll answer them live on stage. Hi, Allie. Hello. How's it going? It's going great.

How are you? Pretty good. Well, yeah, good. Sure is going good. Do you like it so far? So great, I hope later when I listen, I can hear myself laugh. That's the fucking dream, right?

Yeah. I hope I can hear myself do. It hasn't always happened. You do realize now that you've been chosen to do an audience question, it will be considerably easier to find. Yes, yes. Okay.

So what's your question, Ellie? Oh, this year, I watched all of the Lord of the Rings easier to find. Yes. Okay. Yes. So what's your question, Ellie? Oh, this year, I watched all of the Lord of the Rings for the very first time. Nerd. Some fans of Lord of the Rings, surprisingly. Yes. Yes. And I thought, is it too much if I dress up like Legolas?

For the Renaissance festival? For the Renaissance festival? Yes, is it? Not just for home use. Well, I mean, if I had an everyday outfit, I totally would. But if I- You're EOL. EDL, EDL.

Is it everyday Legolas? Yeah. Okay, got it. Is it too 2005 of me to do that? To dress as Legolas at the Ren Fair, is what you're asking. In the ripe year of 2024. I would say it's better now.

You might be the only, well, one of few Legolas's. Okay. Legoli. Legoli? Yeah. Legoli. There'll be some. Yeah. He's like the main elf, I think. I think so too.

It's him and Hermy. I think if you dress up like an elf and go to the Ren Fair, you have to put on something else to distinguish yourself as not Legolas. Actually, if you're going to do it, you need to be Legolas in cosplay as another character. As what Legolas would wear. Legolas dressed up as Buddy the elf from Elf. That would be something. Oh, I like that.

OK, I'm going to do that. No, that wasn't sincere. Oh, shit. Yeah, no, no, no. We need to shut up. We fixed it. We did it. We did it.

Ha ha ha ha. Woo. Woo. That's so Legolas dressed as Buddy the elf. That's as far as we've gotten, but it feels really strong. That'll count. I think I can do that. Great.

Yeah, that'll slay for sure absolutely all right thank you how we can help hello hello how's it going good good how are you guys good pretty good little sweaty okay and how are you are you uncomfortable about the question that you sit in? Cause it's pretty good. It's pretty good. Okay. We feel good about it. Go ahead.

Okay. Don't be afraid. My, uh, my lovely girlfriend, she loves the old computer game mist. Yeah. Cause you're gonna play that the puzzles. Yeah. Yeah. The puzzle games and I'm pretty bad at puzzle games.

I need some help. Okay. Great. Yeah. Yeah. Miz. Yeah. This is a very challenging one.

Yeah. Your question exactly was... I think your question was, how do I solve the computer game, Miss? Yeah. Which is, by the way, Jordan, this is the most kick-ass way you could possibly solve that question. The amount of notes you would have to take right now,

the amount we would have to remember. We got, no, we fucking got this, no problem. Yeah, the good news is, we have an expert on hand, Clint, McElroy, Clint, if you don't mind. Oh! Okay. So, if you could just tell dad what you're stuck on. Yeah, if you go puzzle by puzzle where you're stuck.

No, what, just like where you're stuck, and maybe, you can go puzzle by puzzle where you're stuck. No, just like where you're stuck, and maybe dad can give you like, don't spoil it dad, but like a nudge. Yeah, like a little nudge. Got it. I've gone off the first island onto the other island with like an elevator and like a dungeon and there's like secrets. Just sit in it. Don't be like weird.

Yeah. I... It's made possible. Things can feel different. It's okay. It's okay. If you're uncomfortable, that's because it's real. Just sit in it. I'm on guard. I've made it back to the original island.

My girlfriend says I'm missing really obvious things. I'm walking right past them. What am I... What should I do to like find the obvious things that I should notice in this game? Uh, pay attention. Okay. It's a good one.

That's good, dad. Look around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Observe. Dad, how do you feel about taking notes? Take a lot of notes. If they describe something, copy down every diagram. Give up your life for probably six months.

You can also check YouTube. You can find walkthroughs. Did you find the letter on the rock? Yes. Holy shit, you did not say that with a lot of confidence. Did you touch the blue book or the red book in the library? Yes. Don't touch the red book or the red book in the library. Don't touch the red book or the blue book in the library! It sounds like you've already fucked up pretty bad.

Shit, man. You might need to just go right to Riven, my dude. Yeah. If you see a handle, flip it. That's everything, though, in life. Watch out for the boss battle, though. Yeah, that was the grenade Is there anything you're actually stuck on are you just being kind of lazy cuz like there is internet out there Like you could Google it but like yeah, you have a real living treasure here

Yeah for maybe the last we don't ever know go ahead like anything I Just mean tonight, good! We have another show tomorrow, what's wrong with you? Thank you, I appreciate the help. Yes, I think we've solved enough for you. Thank you so much Jordan. Clint McElroy everybody! I believe in you, Jordan. You can do this. Jordan, I just want to say,

rarely do we have someone in their own experience with us. It's huge. We appreciate it. I love that. Yeah, I'm actually done. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, Jordan. Thanks, Jordan.

Appreciate you. Hello. Hi, I'm Sarah. Hi, Sarah. I see her. I submitted the question that I have a few pets at home. One of them is a small parrot. And when he's being particularly screamy during my work day,

I'll bring him down to hang out with me. And I often forget on video calls to warn other people. And then he just chest bursts like alien right out of my sweat. You skipped a pretty important thing. You're burying the lead a little bit. Detail. You said bring him down.

And he likes to hang out inside my shirt. Okay, so the parrot's in your shirt. Sorry everybody. And you're in a meeting with a normal meeting. I'm in video calls a lot of the day and I often forget who already knows that I have a bird that likes to do this. And so I forget to warn them.

And then he just makes an appearance, like a surprise magic trick. And I've yet to find. Well most magic tricks are a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. And I've yet to find. Well, most magic tricks are a surprise. Yes. That's true. Sarah, can I just say, sometimes people come to us

and they ask us for shit that they probably don't actually need help with, but you do need to say something. I do, I for sure do. The idea of- You need to say, yeah, this isn't one of those like, stop being so weird, but yeah, you need to say something. Yeah.

I can't, I can't see that and not know. I can't. Because even if I'm, if I'm in this meeting and this happens, I would be happy, but it would also completely derail. 100%. Whatever is happening in that meeting, even if it was wicked serious. Wait, what if you- I could be an HR manager firing you.

Yeah. And that happens when I'm like, shut up, shut up, shut up. Hey, what's up? Listen, I would use it to your advantage. I wouldn't tell. And then when the parrot pops out, use that exact moment to be like,

and we want 20%. And they'll be like, whoa, okay. Before they even thought about it, they're so taken aback by the parrot that they give you, I'm assuming by the by the way everybody the 20% is good for Sarah What-up like this? Normally they get someone's offering to poison you 20% are like it's like a good it's good in this case like it's a good thing

They were gonna give her 10% of the business that she's buying Yeah, as long as it's more than what they were offering. Yeah, it's better than it was. They were like, I'll give you 50%. Is it taught? Does it taught? It does. It says love you and peek-a-boo, but only when he wants my attention. That's huge for everyone.

Wait, wait, wait. Can you finish? Sarah, finish what? Only when what? Only when he wants my attention, not when I want him to say peek-a-boo. Well, then you're going to have to ignore him during your business call. So he pops out of your shirt

and goes, peekaboo, because that's cool. Just stone face. If you could train him to say, like, objection, or... I'll work on that. Now, Sarah, this is important. How long do you think that you could ignore the parrot when it was poking out of your shirt? I have tried it before.

Because that would be an amazing power play to just not acknowledge it. Just not accept that anything's happening. This is an emoji. This is being generated on your screen. My dang nephew did this. He turned this on. Now when I make this gesture... It makes a parrot come out my dang shoulder.

I don't know why it's not working now. They said switch to a Mac. They said you'll never have any problems. What's your parents name? Petrie. What's your parents name? He has Land Before Time, gotta represent. Good one, yeah. Is he a good boy?

He's a very good boy. He's a little house dinosaur. Does he want a cracker? Travis. These are important details that I need to know. I got a good actual answer to your question, Sarah. Change your username in Zoom to Sarah, parentheses, and maybe also a parrot.

Sarah, featuring parrot? Question mark? Maybe. Oh man, but you don't want someone to be in a meeting with you disappointed. That would be, even if it went well, they're like, well, bye. Well, hold on.

Or the worst case scenario, they prolong a meeting artificially and make you be on it longer. Sarah, let me just give you this. You're in a meeting, and you've been brought into that meeting. You don't want to be there. This could have been an email. You're going to come in, you're going to join the meeting like three minutes late.

And you're going to go, yeah, sorry I'm late. I ate these weird eggs. Yeah. Hold. I don't know where they came from so weird like a boa constrictor probably nothing it's probably nothing and then maybe nothing comes of it but then the parrot pops out yeah I need to start screaming and turn off your camera but let me something about yeah but the sheer terror but Sarah secretly it's actually way funnier if the parrot never comes out, and you gave everyone a heads up

about some eggs you just ate. You introduced Chekhov's eggs, and you never pay off on them. That's even better to me. This is a win-win scenario, Travis, it's just concocted. And then you end up in a scenario where you're like, people, clocky, like, gently pushing on your stomach,

like, gently kind of wiggling. Go, hold on one second. They'll do it. Wait, one second. Wait, wait, hold on. Watch. Come on. Come on, please.

Come on, go! Do it, come on. That's the best we were going to do tonight at Answered Questions. Thank you so much. Thank you very, very much. Glad that helps. Thank you. Thank you., very much. I hope that helps. Thank you.

Hello. Hi, how's it going? Hello, I'm Valerie. Hi, Valerie. You're probably wondering why we asked you here tonight, Valerie. I'm nervous. I'm sweating.

Am I gonna get fired? No, you're good. Well, fired is a strong word. Your question, do you remember it? Did you sent in several or just the one? I just sent in one. Fantastic, okay. What is your question?

I asked about my, for advice on office pranks because I was told I was being too predictable and I took that very, I took it very personally. You said you had a reputation as a predictable pranker, and I honestly just had to know more. This is one of the... the exact wording was, what are some good office pranks to shed my predictable prank reputation? Valerie, I will be honest, I'm pretty sure the three of us thought that you're

the office prankster looking to freshen up their game, not that people look at you and go, Valerie would never prank. So which one, is it like you're doing the same prank every day? It's not every day. Well, some of them. Hey, can I tell you? Precision timing, honestly, precision timing.

Valerie, if you're doing the same prank Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 9, 10 a.m., it's not Thursday. That's actually worse. If it's on Google Calendar, it's not a prank anymore. Watch out for pranks. Sometimes there's meetings. We gotta know, what is it? I have several that I kind of rotate through.

Yeah, you do? Yes, they're scheduled. I do, like, I'll hide things on people's desks. Certain things, not like monitors. Fucking Loki over here. Yeah, like people's mice or like just like random decorations. Sometimes I'll like hide things underneath. Yeah, yeah.

If it gets knocked over, I'm like, oh, what's that? That's crazy. That's good shit. So you have a little skit with this. That's great. I have to play out. OK, let's solve them one by one. Add things to a desk.

Go on, what's next? Add things, ooh, an inversion. There is one prank that I do to the front desk guy specifically, because there's like a small. Do it to the back desk guy. No, wait, listen, I gotta hear the pranks. I'm more interested than the pranks than what you have to say, please.

There's always a small pyramid of tissue boxes there that are available for the crabs. Just asking for it. Yeah, you can just take it. And he's always very particular about them, so I'll just like bump them and I'll mess with them. That's so mean, Valerie. Okay, Valerie, straight up, I do have to warn you, this is not a prank, it's bullying.

And it's amazing and it's so great. Cause I didn't peg you as a bully and now I can see the rotten core at your center. It's full of hate. Yeah, you love the power, just get it. But as a power play, you just bully this nerd. It's great. Get it.

What's the next thing? I pushed my boss into an open well. I kidnapped my direct supervisor's nephew and I'm holding him for twenty five thousand dollars. Every Wednesday I'm slitting tires. It's fun, my last prank is scaring people and it's only worked once. Like jumping out like, rah! Yeah I ran up to her, she works next to me. Okay. So you want a fourth prank? I want, well, I'll take three, one from each of you if possible. Okay.

I'm really trying to- Valerie, that you're asking a lot. There's three of you. You know what- You've just come to the joke wizards and been like, I want three jokes, please. Are you vicious? Wait, this is, Valerie, this is so important. How much do you like your job?

Do I legally have to answer that question? No, you don't have to legally answer that question. On a scale of one to ten, I'm pulling a five. Hey, Valerie, you answer that question. You know what's a fun prank? Embezzlement. Uh, listen. Got it. The long con. Yeah, that's a... in my office. Oh my god, Valerie. You have to start doing the pranks to yourself. Holy shit.

And then be like, what the fuck, guys? This is getting old, okay? I get it. I'll freshen up my pranks. And then find out what happened. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to do that. And then be like, what the fuck, guys? This is getting old, okay? I get it, I'll freshen up my pranks.

And then just keep doing it to yourself every day, get increasingly mad. I don't have a third part. But I am sure in the moment something will come to you. Yeah. It might keep escalating, I'll figure it out. Can you cut a hole in the moment something will come to you. Yeah. It might keep escalating. I'll figure it out. Can you cut a hole in the wall

that is in the exact shape of one of your coworkers? To what end? I could try. Speak on that, Griffin. I just think it'd freak them the fuck out, man. The coworker's still there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, that's your hole.

It's more of a Junji Ito way than a Looney Tunes way. Yeah. Hey, maybe figure out a way to undo the thing that restricts your phone. That's a great prank. That's a pretty cool prank. That would be leaving my job. Yeah, now quit your job.

That's a great prank. I mean, do you want to be a great prank person or not? You gotta have your priorities straight. I'll tell you what, go back to your seat. Think about your priorities and then we'll talk about later, all right? We've given you so much, Valerie. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Valerie. Thank you, Valerie. Hello. Hello. Hi, my name's Kai. My pronouns are he, him, and unlike Valerie, I name is Kai. My pronouns are he, him, and unlike Valerie, I love my job. Fuck yeah. That's a good prank, Valerie.

I work at the Build-A-Bear workshop at the mall. Nice. Thank you, thank you. And one of my favorite parts about doing the job is like the heart ceremony where you rub it on your nose so your friend knows you love them. Really good. And then your sides, they say hip and by your side, all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. But very often in the mall, you'll just hear like random screaming or crying and just a lot of yelling out in the hallway.

And every now and again, we'd like take a pause from the heart ceremony to pause. Sorry. That's anyway. You are, I guarantee the heart ceremony to pause. Sorry. That's anyway You are I guarantee the only human being thinking about it, but now we all all my co-workers everyone always anyway but recently a fight broke out that was really really bad in the mall and It was right outside the store So, you know we take a pause to do the hearts and stuff and we we have glass doors So we closed the glass doors and the fighting came up to the doors and they got to do the hearts and stuff. And we have glass doors, so we close the glass doors.

And the fighting came up to the doors, and they got slammed against the wall and stuff. That's, I mean, straight up, I hate to interrupt, but that's like Fighting Tactics 101. Oh yeah, for sure. So we move the customers away from the wall. So it calms down. There's still security and stuff outside.

But we had to go back and be like, all right, take the heart and shake it up in there. And how do we like fix that energy afterwards? So like we sell, we don't sell bears, we sell experiences. So they got their bears for free in the end. Straight up. If you only sold bears, the price you charge is fucking wild. Of course it's an experience.

I have such a great, great idea, Kai. You need to take these kids and be like, all right, no shit. Let's go in the back room. Let's go to where the magic really fucking happens. You take them back and you say, listen kids, now more than ever, we gotta come together.

This isn't some corporate bullshit. It's all love, family. Maybe this is the time when you look at the parents and the kids and you're like, listen, maybe we were wasting our time with this. Maybe we gotta get out there and fix what's going on out there, y'all. Everybody grab a bear.

Everybody get a bear. Let's go give them bears. They're not going to be angry anymore. I'm saying this, man. You know, kids want stuffies to love on or whatever. But security's right there. Yeah. If you go, oh, now your bear's got some extra fight in them.

Oh, cool. To protect the child. Yeah, you know what? Hey, Trav, no one in the, let me check, room like that at all. It was a big thing. I'm saying, give me a warrior bear. Yeah.

Well, thank you. A distressing number of people just cheered for what my brother said. If there are people coming in and they're fighting, they slam up against the door, how often does that happen? Just the one time, I assume, Kai, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, how bad are we doing, folks? Because in general, one time while I was working. Okay, okay, okay, I see. Yeah, now you got a warrior bear. I don't know what else to say. You gotta do a fight discount, I feel like. They get them, okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah, now you got a warrior bear. I don't know what I do a fight discount I feel like they get them sorry they get them for free They the people who were there when the fight happened really okay, Kai. You just fucked the whole business model

Yeah, my I'm gonna be out there like did you hear what that guy said? Oh my god Yeah, I'm staging some shit Yeah, I've got plans one of us could go in and get a bear and the other two could be like dang dang it. Yeah. Gosh I'm so mad at you. Gosh here it's on now. I'm interrupting my jokes. What's your favorite bear there? Oh we have a color block frog that we had that sold out very quickly okay okay good hey one time at build a bear my son Sonic sound I know my son tried to put the sonic sound in the Pikachu stuff and they wouldn't let would you have let that happen Kai Nintendo if they can

hear me they're very very specific I know Kai but would you but would you do me this fucking solid I've given me a Pikachu that sounds like Sonic. Hey listen we've broken free of our corporate shackles it's just human beings right now and he wants this this one thing I'm not Valerie I love my job that's right Kai I'm wearing a wire you passed hey! Hey Kai, can I see a question, did that help? That did help, thank you very much. Alright, thank you so much, thank you. Please, please make them go away.

If we could get the house lights to go down. There's too many people, goodbye friends. Goodbye everyone. Hey Tacoma, thank you so much for coming to our show. This kick-ass shell are amazing. This has been so lovely. We've got some lovely posters for sale outside. They were designed by Kevin Budnick, and they kick ass.

We signed a bunch of them, so maybe you'll get one of those. My favorite thing, the key around the orca's neck is the key to Dravnation. Oh, that's very good. It's not indicated in any way in the poster, except Kevin. A lot of deep lore in this image. Yeah, that's the key to Trav Nation. Thank you all so much.

Thank you to the Pantages and its many ghosts for having us here. Thank you to Paul and Amanda and Rachel, to our ASL interpreters for the evening. Thank you so much. Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better with You. Now here's what we're going to do.

We're going to elevate a wish to Funko War. Yes, exciting. We're going to form sort of a sound bath where we're going to raise up crescendo. Do you want to sort of lead the choir of the sound bath while someone else does the, does the, the way Justin and I could leave the sound bath. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Cool. Cool. And so we're going to build to a crescendo cut off and then Griffin is going to

read the wish. And I know you're thinking, what sound should I make? That's up to you. Yeah. That's what Yeah, that's how it works in a sound bath. You don't have to coordinate. So Justin, let's move to the front. Okay. Alright. Don't fucking hug up there. I'll lose my shit.

Can I give a pitch? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh I wish Mamma Mia to had respected the lore in Mamma Mia! 1. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Trefin McElroy. Kiss your dad square on the lips. with you. It's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,