My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 720: Mariana Trench Warfare
Episode Date: July 15, 2024Let us re-introduce ourselves and tell you a story about an episode of My Brother, My Brother, and Me. In that episode, we give some extremely funny and helpful advice about graduating Pokemon, Ron Fu...nches hosting Shark Week, and over-decorated offices. But that's a different episode; this episode is about that episode. It's a banger. Suggested talking points: What are the Eighth Notes, Goo-goo-ga-ga Calendar, Munch Jod, Eel Day Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/
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The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.
Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.
Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.
What's up, you cool baby?
One, two, three, four!
It's the start of something beautiful
A small acquaintance has blossomed
It's ripened into a precious friendship
I could've never seen what was coming for me
Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach
My life, it feels like
Life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
My life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
This is true, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with two
My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two But wait, I, it's better with you
Hello everybody, welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me
an advice show for the modern era
I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy
What up Trav Nation, I'm your middle-est brother
Travis Big Dog, Woof Woof McElroy
uh, next level influencer
Oh, hi everybody, Tribe Nation.
Hi everybody in Tribe Nation.
I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy,
the youngest one of them.
I'm very excited guys,
because I just got my certification
from the influencer board for the next level.
So excited, big news.
Your Phaetons have been audited
and you have not been found wanting.
My photons and Phaetons, and my Phaetons and my torpedoes.
And now I get to take the next step,
which I'm very excited about, but I need your guys' help.
Next step.
Charity Boxing Tournament.
Oh. Oh no, God.
Oh God, I'm not ready for that yet, Griffin.
Travis gonna fight Logan Paul.
Oh, I would love to. That's the next level.
Travis, Travis, Travis.
Travis, I love you.
You would get your ass fucking handed.
I know, listen, I'm not saying I could take him.
I'm saying if I get one good shot in.
Like if I get one good shot in.
I'm not sure that would happen.
Don't get me wrong.
The dude sucks rocks big time.
But he would smash your ass into Travis juice on the ground.
I think he has proven out this point.
He can punch people extremely hard repeatedly.
He punches hard.
No, I'm not even gonna make it out to be like
he's one punch man or even that he's like a great boxer,
but he would kill Travis dead, graveyard dead.
Maybe.
And that's not a read on you being weak, Travis.
I'm just saying you're not.
If I had eight or nine months to prep,
I think I could, I think I would.
You haven't done the work.
Travis, I know you- He's also what?
10 years younger than me?
15 years younger than me?
That shouldn't matter.
Okay, anyways, but that's not where I'm at.
I haven't reached that level yet.
I'm at ill-advised move into music career.
Long overdue, I think actually for you, Trav.
Thank you.
And I've been prepping for it my whole life
by never learning to play a musical instrument,
by never learning how to write a song
or write music or anything.
So I am crying, but I need you guys' help
because I don't know.
It's about as ill-advised as it possibly could be
because of the work you've done.
I'm very excited.
Considering right now my only thought starter
is like Gregorian Chamber Men's Choir version of Hot To Go.
That could be good.
Is the only offer I have.
H-O-T-G.
I think that that's a bad start.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, it's like.
Hot To Go.
That's all I've got to it.
It sounds so bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't like to hear it.
Who can take me?
So what do you guys think?
That's not even really, if you did that, Travis,
and I hate to, again, keep slapping you,
slamming you down like this,
but if you did that in front of a real Gregorian choir,
you would get creamed, man.
Does it need to be more resonant?
I'd get creamed, the Gregorian choir would beat me up?
No, but you'd just get creamed vocally.
You would get a sort of vocally creamed situation.
So what do you guys think I should start with?
What should I?
Well, Trav, I'll be honest with you.
I don't wanna hear any of it.
So I think for you, the buzz is,
I don't wanna hear you do music again,
but I do think that you can build the buzz required.
Oh, I think two things.
One, you need to get a lot of anticipation going about this album and maybe that it's
going to be a stinker, but that's still like, there's no such thing as bad press.
Get everybody talking about it.
Okay.
I disagree with Griffin in many important ways.
Number one of which is you have gotta have a single.
You've gotta have a welcome to Trav Nation.
Think about the long tradition.
There is a long tradition.
It's one of my favorite sub-genres of music.
And I talk about it with people a lot
because I'm always looking for more additions.
It's the one hit wonder where their one hit
is introducing themselves.
What's up everyone?
Yeah, I'm Rico Suave.
Let's-
I'm Rico Suave.
And I'm never gonna die Ray.
Oh shit, we love that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it's like, we actually don't let,
or I'm Jimmy Ray.
Like, oh cool, that's cool.
Thanks, that's all we actually need to forget.
I'll never forget you, which sucks,
cause you're not gonna do anything else.
If you wanna count Inna Kamosi's Hot Stepper, possible.
Informer, debatable.
Return of the Mac is a good one,
because where did you come from?
Where'd you come from, where'd you go?
Now Justin, what if we combined
your favorite niche genre of music
with my favorite niche genre of music,
mine being songs that reference other songs
that aren't the song being played,
such as like the train hit,
Play That Song, the one that makes you go on and on.
But not this song, hey Mr. DJ, put a record on,
I wanna dance with my baby.
What song do you wanna play, Madonna?
It's a mystery.
I don't know, Monster Mash is one in fact.
And so what if it was Trav Nation's about to play a song?
Well, Monster Mash is a song about the song, huh?
I've never really thought about Monster Mash
in that context. It's a story of a monster doing the thing. You never hear the Monster Mash.. Monster Mash is a song about the song, huh? I've never really thought about Monster Mash in that context.
It's a story of a monster doing the thing.
You never hear the Monster Mash.
Yeah, it's a song about the Monster Mash.
So what if the song was like, hey Trav Nation,
Trav Nation's about to do a song,
you're gonna fucking love it.
And so Griffin, then it plays into yours.
I'm building hype with the first single
for future singles.
And it's like, the song I'm coming out with next, Trav Nation, you're gonna fucking love it. So the title of your first single for future singles. And it's like, I'm coming out with next Trap Nation,
you're gonna fucking love it.
So the title of your first single is,
I'm Travis McElroy and my next song's
gonna make you groove your ass off.
Yeah.
But then that's-
Then I never release the second song.
That's good.
The second part of this formula for mine,
and this is foolproof, is you need to start getting angry at people
when they talk to you about your podcasting
or your streaming or any of your more sort of
traditional media formats.
I think if you, yeah.
Because I'm a musician now.
Go full Billy Bob Thornton and just be like,
you wouldn't ask Sting about his podcast.
You know what I mean?
I would!
Are you kidding me?
It's a terrible, it's a terrible example. It's a terrible you kidding me? It's a terrible example.
It's a terrible example.
Trav, if I could just,
I know we don't normally riff like this,
but I would love to.
Oh, is this part of the show?
I thought this was just us talking.
If you could just hit us with a hook.
I actually must actually stand firm on the point
I made earlier that I do not,
and it's not that I think you have a bad-
Well, now I'm a servant of two masters.
I don't want Travis-
I'm trying to get aside.
Only one of us is your older brother, Griff, Trav.
I don't think the math is that hard.
But only one of you is, like, has, you know,
that I'm trying to impress, basically, at this point.
I feel like I have-
One of us have taste that you respect.
I'm not gonna say that.
Griff isn't died in the war.
I didn't say that, I didn't say that.
Griff has repeatedly, verbally verbally pledged fealty
to Traf Nation.
And I, a rogue nation to myself,
have not been swayed one way or the other.
I'm saying maybe a killer jam.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna say again,
just to make my point completely clear,
I don't want you to sing.
And it's not because I think you have a bad voice.
I just don't want you to get fucking,
I don't want you to get fucking creamed, Travis.
I'm right now and I'm not gonna sing it.
As I'm trying right now.
You should be more worried about the genes
that are gonna get creamed
once he starts blowing those creepy parts.
Because I've already said it before,
now, hey there Trav Nation, put a record on,
I wanna dance with my baby,
is the only thing that's stuck in my head.
But my dad feels- Don already did that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Hey there, trap nation.
Show the record on.
I wanna dance with my baby.
No, no, that's the same song.
It's the same song.
You gave the same song over.
Okay.
It's gotta be something fresh.
Okay.
All right, Griffin, how about you?
Can you start me off?
Maybe Griffin, you can give me.
Yeah, like what's like a sick.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
No, I really wanna just get like the eight notes.
What are the eight notes?
You know what I mean?
What are they like?
Yeah, you're gonna give me like an eight note.
What's the hook?
What's the hook?
You want a single eighth note?
From eight?
No.
Okay, here we go, you ready?
You ready?
A sequence of eight notes that will unite the world.
So you don't want an eighth note,
you want eight individual notes.
If they are eighth notes,
that sounds like a great pop hit to me.
Okay, let me hit you with this.
Skadadadadadadada.
That wasn't eighth notes, hold on.
It's hard to do eighth.
Skadadadadadadada.
Is that what you're doing?
Skadadadadadadada.
It's kind of turning into McDonald's.
But it's not exactly that.
Skadadadadadada.
It's a little bit.
Dadadadadadada.
It's a modulation on the McDonald's theme.
But that's not eighth notes again.
You're sort of throwing some funky triplets in it.
Da da da da da da da.
No.
Nation party with me and Charlie Brown.
Okay.
Also we're only doing seven notes there.
It's also getting a little bit into all night long.
Okay.
Every song is gonna sound a little bit like other songs.
There's only eight notes.
Right.
You know?
And we've been set free.
My next song, next song.
That's a parody.
You're doing a parody again.
We'll be fresh.
It's gotta be fresh.
Good, be good.
Griffin could just give me that melody one more time.
I feel like it was so hippie.
Skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh.
Skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh.
Is that what it is?
That's seven notes again.
Skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh, skuh.
Listen to this.
Uh-huh. Trav Nation is on the rise now. Is that what it is? That's seven notes again. Skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh skuh Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The now is kind of. We can throw the now into every line.
Every line can end with now, and that's part of the theme.
So,
Trav nations on the rise now.
Open your ears and close your eyes now.
And we just do it now.
Why would you close your eyes?
Why is closing your eyes?
Because you wanna feel it.
You wanna feel the groove.
Let it take you away.
Your eyes are open.
You're thinking about all the dangers around you.
I want you to close your eyes.
Okay.
And just like, just feel the music.
Shake your hips and squeeze your thighs now.
And that can be part of,
oh, it can be also like a dance,
like a choreographed dance.
Yes, yes, yes.
So it's like, open your ears and close your eyes now.
Wiggle your caps and squeeze your thighs now.
Perfect.
All right, Justin, bring us home.
And it's just for 17.99 a month.
Whoa, it's a streaming service?
I just feel like-
This is my favorite genre of song,
which lays out the terms of service
for a popular streaming application.
It's a yearly price, you can't be fun now.
I should have been trying to impose a business plan on you.
No, no, no, I like that my first single is a back story.
I don't know if you have been wanting to go
with the SaaS model or not for Trav Nation.
I should turn a voice out.
I guess I don't know what I'm offering on that.
Is it just the idea of me?
Yes.
Okay.
And citizenship.
Citizenship.
You don't have to be offering them.
If these rocket money ads taught me anything,
it's that you just have to trick people one time,
and then you never have to give them anything again.
They just forget about you.
And then it's better if you don't bother them.
It's better if you don't bother them.
To cancel it. Yes.
Let's do our show now.
Yes, I would love to do our show.
We take your questions.
Oh, I can't get that out of my head.
It's so catchy. It's really good. So listen, we take your questions. Oh, I can't get that out of my head, it's so catchy.
It's really good.
So listen, we get questions from you, our listeners.
Oh my God, Griffin, did you see what episode number this is?
720? 720, we've brought it all back around, guys.
What do you mean? In one way.
The double 360, we've gone all the way around twice.
Okay, yeah, I was gonna say 360 is all the way around.
Yeah, but we've done it twice now.
That's not as impressive as doing it once.
If it was a skate trick, we'd be 180 away
from extremely impressive.
Sure. We'll get there.
We will get to 990.
We don't have anything else going on.
Here's our first question.
I recently returned back to work
after having been gone 12 weeks for maternity leave.
A very kind coworker surprised me going all out and decorating my desk and office space
with welcome back and welcome baby paraphernalia.
This includes streamers, balloons, a big sign, etc.
I've been back for a week now.
Am I supposed to take the decor down or is it too soon?
Will my coworker be disappointed or is it her responsibility to take it down?
That's from Desk Distressed in Charlottesville.
Now Travis, it says here pictures are enclosed.
Did you include these pictures?
I mean, I have them.
Describe them to me.
Well, just put them up in the thing.
All you gotta do is open them in your web browser
and then share the text.
No, no, no, I mean, the question has made this sound
like so boring and so whack. And so like, I don't know that I'm chomping at the text. No, no, no, I mean, the question has made this sound like so boring and so whack.
And so like, I don't know that I'm chomping at the bit.
I trust that these-
I think that if we wanna talk about it accurately
and we have something that we can look at
that will give us a little bit more context,
I think it's invaluable.
I type so slowly, you guys have to give me a second.
Have you ever thought about taking a sort of a course,
a stenography?
If I was going to choose to improve something
about my life, Gryffin, that would not be top priority.
Travis, the speed and the lacrity with which you voiced
that makes me think that this is a question
you've wrestled with before.
Oh yeah, baby.
I'm saying that your lack of familiarity with Miss Beacon
and her excellent ways.
It's keeping you from every other thing that you are,
it's a constant hindrance.
Yeah. Always.
But also, well my point is that it's so non-existent
that you could actually take up stenography
and become so much faster than Juice and I
using one of their crazy flat keyboards.
We should see which of us can get the,
fuck in hell. Hey, okay, so that's a lot of shit. Keyboards. We should see which of us can get the... Fucking hell!
Hey, okay, so that's a lot of shit.
Looks like we've got...
Wow!
Wow, there's a lot of shit on this desk.
So there's a huge banner behind the desk
that is covering up, as far as I can tell,
a whole board.
What the hell?
This person blacked out in the booth.
Yeah, there's balloons all over this.
Yeah, it goes around.
And here's what's wild about it.
Oh, wow.
They have decorations.
They have decorations blocking the decoration.
There's enough there that it's wild,
but not enough there that you could leave it
and be like, this is the new theme of my oven.
Like, it's this uncanny valley of clearly temporary,
but also substantial.
Like, there's-
It's so substantial.
This is, if you had to guess to me,
how many minutes of work for takedown?
Like, yeah, that's what I was gonna say, 20 minutes.
The bigger issue is that there's so many balloons
and huge sort of paper lantern style things
that don't look particularly collapsible.
So what you're looking at is two situations.
One, you carry a bunch of gigantic garbage bags
out of the place, obviously it's filled with balloons,
or for 20 minutes, the coworker that works so hard
on this display will be treated to the sound of you
jabbing a butterfly knife through each of these balloons
one at a time to make them more easily trashable.
One of which has like big round confetti in it.
If you pop that balloon.
That's a trap.
You've just added 10 more minutes.
That's one of the Riddler's traps.
I got one, we had one of those for a cast party recently
and it was a nightmare.
I don't know why they're making those.
I'm looking at this and yet, question asker,
you may think this is a very specific problem,
but as parents of kids that have had birthday parties
in our house,
I can tell you that this is actually something
that I've dealt with many, many, many, many, many times.
My policy typically is to start slowly moving out the stuff,
to start one by one piecemeal leaving it.
And this is the real kicker.
You gotta leave one thing up until about October.
Yeah.
And then you can be like, look at this.
Can you believe this?
I've still got it up.
I loved it that, but it has to be like.
Ah, shriveling greatly.
I'm looking.
I think the like Mylar kind of arched,
frill banner at the top.
That's great.
You could safely leave that up.
But can I just say this coworker,
as lovely as this thought is,
did put up a poster board and says,
welcome back, covering your bulletin board
with important papers on it.
Yeah, I can't-
That's a good one to justify early.
Yeah.
That's the first one you can show.
It looks like there's ruffles wrapped
around your office chair in a way that when you sit down,
you're getting a bag full of ruffles.
Okay, now guys, I've got to stand up for a second.
This is actually a lot harder than it seems.
Because the question that I'm now thinking about is,
once you, well, I don't want to stand up.
Yeah, you're way off camera.
It's like way off camera, but like, listen,
I'm thinking about the sign, right?
I was thinking about the practical time it would take.
You pop the sign down, no big deal,
but what happens next?
Oh.
You throw it away?
You can't take that sign and jam it into a work trash can.
You can't.
Okay, step three.
You can't roll it up and shove it in,
especially not over at their trash can, maybe. You just like shove it down into it, and shove it in, especially not over at their trash can maybe.
You just like shove it down into it and they're like,
what the fuck?
You gotta eat it.
You gotta eat it.
Well?
Do you have to take it to your car?
No, you have to-
And throw it away at home?
Yes, Justin, but not just that.
You have to be seen taking it to your car.
Oh yeah!
You have to make for-
That's cool.
Hugging it.
You take it down, stop by where they are,
and be like, I'm so excited.
I love this, can't wait to show.
I'm so excited, you kissed it a few times.
I love this sign so much.
Thank you.
Oh my God, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
Take it all down.
Take it all down tomorrow and say,
I wanna be honest with you, I loved it so much,
I wanted to have it up in the nursery.
I thought she wouldn't love it.
That's great.
So I wanted to hang these balloons up there, and That's, I thought she wouldn't love it. That's great.
So I wanted to hang these balloons up there
and you should see baby now.
Send me a picture.
Gaga.
What?
Send me a picture of the decorations.
You send this picture back.
You send the picture back into-
But you paint a baby in the corner in Photoshop.
You scoot your baby into Photoshop.
That's great.
This is my baby's two monitor workstation.
My baby uses one monitor for Slack
and one monitor for Google Calendar.
My baby's incredibly disciplined and well organized.
This baby keeps the trains running on time.
Motivated by your work.
Got a mindset already?
I would just...
Yeah, I think that we have helped you a lot of different ways, which is rare.
And the fact that you want more is a little bit greedy, if I could just say.
I'm a graduating high school senior and I've been selected to read the names of all my
classmates at graduation on Wednesday.
Oh my God.
There's a few hundred names to read off.
So I wonder if there's anything I can do to keep the audience interested.
No.
No.
Trying to get the crowd hype?
That's from Nervous in North Jersey.
I feel like you guys jumped over accents way too fast.
Oh man.
If we plumb those depths, we'll find a few laughs in there.
We might stub our toes on the occasional little snafu,
but I bet you we'll find a few little laughs
if we pick around in that berry bush.
I think-
What about nicknames for everybody?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage,
Nick, the Hammer, Ostalapos,
and you do one for everybody.
And then you stop doing the names-
Every fifth one is the Hammer.
You stop doing the names and then you only start doing the nicknames.
Let it all out here.
Every 20 people you're like,
folks, I just gotta slow it down here.
This next person is a close personal friend of mine
and I've done so many of these benefits
and shows with them and they're true blue
and I love to welcome him to the stage right now.
Nick Osopoulos and then you welcome him.
You have a little bit of like, some people get an intro,
like you have a buildup.
Not everyone.
Not everyone.
All of them.
About every single, as they come up here,
and here's a film fact about this guy,
but here's the thing, you don't have to do that research,
right? No.
Anything could be a fun fact.
Anything could be a fun fact.
Anything could be a fun fact.
Just guess, you might get it right.
You could also, every few people that walk across the stage,
you can be like, and let's give it up for Invisible Tyler.
Oh, that's good.
And then no one will come, but it'll be a good,
and you can do like a bunch of those,
you can be like Invisible Susan.
Call the Invisible, yeah.
Here comes Solid Snake, but you can't see him.
And a box crawls across. Oh, that's good. That'd be good. Now here's the thing, yeah. Here comes Solid Snake, but you can't see him. And a box crawls across.
Oh, that's good. That'd be good.
Now here's the thing, if your goal
is to keep everyone interested,
perhaps shift your expectations,
because that's not gonna happen.
Because without fail, no matter how good a job you do,
all of those people are interested in,
probably statistically, one kid.
Yeah. Right?
They might, there might be like,
oh, that's his best friend,
or like we had twins or whatever,
and they're both graduating.
But statistically speaking,
only one kid out of all those is gonna,
so what you're gonna do is go as fast as you can
to get it done.
That would make me happy as a parent,
if it's just like, yeah, man,
what should have been two hours?
We got done in 10 minutes.
That was incredible.
The amount of attention I'm willing to dedicate
to any kind of big ceremony involving one of us
goes like nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
Okay, here come the M names.
MC, we're getting close.
And then it's like, I had no fucking idea
so many Mick Lastname students went to my school,
but you learned that real fast at a graduate.
Like, McCarthy?
There's a McCarthy here?
How come we didn't sit next to each other more?
You would think of the order of things,
I know these people.
What if you just got up there and said,
all the A names, go!
Go!
Oh yeah, you hold out one diploma,
you say, I've got one for the A names.
Oh!
If you skip every 15th name,
by the time you get to the end of that list,
you're gonna start to feel a palpable shift
in the energy of that room.
Something is gonna be happening in there,
and it's gonna be little pockets all over,
and it's gonna start to spread.
A mystery.
Something's gonna happen in that room,
and it's gonna be quite a hubbub.
Quite a hubbub.
Especially if you take that 15th diploma
and then put it in a little glass box on the stage
with a big lock on it.
But don't say anything about the box.
Don't say anything about it.
The box has a snake in it.
And you can see, the box is clear,
you can see the snake inside with the mini diplomas.
You wanna keep them interested?
Okay, okay. Do them in keep them interested? Okay, okay.
Do them in a random order.
Okay, fun.
That way, I don't know when my kid's name is coming.
Oh, that's exciting.
I've gotta be on my toes the whole time.
I gotta have the phone up.
I gotta be ready.
Phones up.
All the time.
Oh, that's cool.
Tell each student, just say like,
all right guys, line on up, however you want.
And then when they come up on stage,
be like, what's your name?
Who are you? Oh, this is Gary Tyler Yamaguchi. Okay, hold on one second. Fuck that one's way back there
Why'd you come up so early Tyler?
Tyler come on man. You should make them get themselves make them come up in the order they think they are
Yeah
And then get Raz on if they're wrong. Oh, give everyone a random diploma
and say it's your job to find your diploma.
You have 15 minutes.
Just throw them into the crowd.
And then it's like, it becomes a huge social experiment.
Yeah. Final exam.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Winner gets a million dollars.
Yeah.
These are all such fun ideas.
It's the school's job, right?
Why do they make it a kid read this?
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
I think it's time we revisit
the entire graduation conversation
because nobody wants to sit there
while a thousand names are called
and a bunch of people walk slowly
and pick up a piece of paper
and maybe they do a bit,
but you kind of hope not.
I want there to be a physical, tangible sort,
like sort of advancement
that happens.
I'm thinking like in the old Marines commercials,
when just like a dude would grab a sword
and then hold it in the sky and then
get turned into a Marine.
Yeah, a space Marine if memory serves.
He had like a knight, a knight armor, right?
Well, he starts out as a knight,
but then he lifts his sword up and it reveals like actually it's a marine.
That was a marine, that was something
that made me wanna join up.
The Knights of America.
If you got like spurs, right?
If you were given like now you've earned these,
I think that that would be a powerful option.
A dagger is a good, I mean a sword.
A sword, I mean let's just do a full sword
lifted up in the sky, a beam of light shines on you.
They don't even need to say your name or give you anything.
I don't want this to become a whole nother thing.
So it's gotta just like, here you go, here you go,
here you go, I don't want a whole ordeal
or now it's even longer.
You have to think about, like,
people don't think about this enough,
but like, I graduated high school in 1999.
What?
That was 25 years ago.
Fucking shit, man.
Wow, dude, you're so old. This is not what it's about. Oh, That was 25 years ago. Fucking shit, man. Wow, dude, you're so old.
This is not what it's about.
Oh.
I graduated 25 years ago.
When I was there,
I remember it as being one of the most boring things
I ever did in my entire life.
Correct.
It was so boring.
I was at a big, consolidated high school.
There were so many people there.
It was so boring.
The teenagers who are graduating now, 25 years
into the future have no fucking context
for the amount of boredom
that we are about to foist on them.
You remember how torturous it was for me before YouTube?
Yeah.
Before TikTok?
Oh, I see what you're saying.
And I'm still in hell.
They've never had to experience boredom to this degree.
They're bleeping?
The thing that-
They're texting?
The thing that occupied your time in high school
was pretty much exclusively, if I remember correctly,
crank calls.
Making them and listening to the tapes of crank calls.
That's the only thing better that I had to,
I was in my graduation like, man, I could,
if this wraps up soon,
I could still get a few crank calls in,
man sewers, and ask them if they're refrigerators.
I can go listen to my Jerky Boys tapes.
Gotta get the fuck out.
But now he's a man who listens to Jerky Boys vinyl.
I went to see Margaritaville in Huntington,
which is it still going by the time this comes out?
I don't think so.
You missed it, you fucking goober.
At the end of that, they throw some beach balls
out into the audience, just to sort of like
really drive home the island vibes.
But now all of a sudden there's like
an interactive element, by which I mean,
you kind of always have to have your head on a swivel
so the ball doesn't hit you or the big beer
out of your hand that you have.
That's cool.
You could also incorporate kind of a Wonka-esque thing
to take it back to another show Justin's been associated
with and inside one of the diplomas is a golden ticket
that like you get to skip college, right?
Now like this is also a college degree now.
Okay.
You can skip college and now you're like,
you've got a college degree
cause you had the golden diploma, right?
But it's like a random, here's just a big box of diplomas.
Everybody run up and grab one and see what you get.
That's good too.
What if with every diploma, underneath the lectern
or the podium, whatever you got, you have a little jar.
You know what's in the jar?
What?
I'm gonna guess jam or jelly. Yeah, it's jelly. Oh, okay. And then when you just put a little jar. Uh-huh. You know what's in the jar? What? I'm gonna guess jam or jelly.
Yeah, it's jelly.
Okay.
And then when you just put a little jelly on each end
and then you hand it to them and they take it
and they're like, what in the?
What the fuck?
Because they better not say what the fuck.
It's a high school graduation.
Yeah.
I'll take that to put them right back.
And it'll be so easy because of all the jelly.
What if one of the diplomas,
the person unrolls it and looks and what's that?
It's a map to temple our goals.
Oh, that's cool.
That's the thing, right?
And then they're like, what the fuck?
Where's my diploma?
I mean, I need that, I think.
And you're like, you don't.
You'll never ever use it.
That's not, you don't have to prove it.
Nobody cares.
What if?
I will, okay, go ahead, Griff.
What if? Uh-huh., go ahead, Griff. What if your diploma just had a picture of you on it
and listed out your stats and your elemental types
and weaknesses?
Oh, a Pokemon card.
And now all of a sudden, when you're in the audience
and you have your diploma, you can play with do that you can do a battle with your other people
And then if you're not if you don't have your diploma yet, you're excited to get it
I didn't give a fuck about getting my diploma is a piece of paper that I knew I was gonna lose pretty much instantly
Which I did within it took me like four years
But I got there if that shit had stats and elemental types and weaknesses on it and I could battle it I would be
Chomping at the bit to get my hands on these beautiful boys. So there you have it question asker
I feel like us three professional comedians despite our best efforts
Couldn't make what you're doing entertaining. Yeah, we gave it our best shot
We gave it a good eight minutes of trying and even we couldn't make the concept of it entertaining.
No.
I give you your best wishes, my best wishes.
Are we gonna start doing this after every,
we rarely do anything helpful on this show.
If we have to try out an apology tour
after each of our great failures on this show,
it is going to double its duration.
That didn't feel like an apology to me, Griffin.
I just feel like when we move on,
I feel like there is an implication
that we have solved the problem, right?
Because otherwise, why are we moving on from it?
And if we're moving on from it because we can't,
I think we should say that too.
Or I think we need to be a little more honest
about our limits sometimes.
And then people get a better idea
of what we are and are not capable of.
You need a balloon drop.
Balloon drop is the answer.
Everybody loves a fucking balloon drop,
but it's the plumber's. One balloon
with every name.
Just slowly, each name is read.
One balloon. Okay, wait.
You're a parent.
You come in and you're like, okay.
And then you look up.
And what's that in the ceiling of the convention center
or whatever you're in?
A huge net full of thousands and thousands of balloons.
You're psyched.
You're like, there's a balloon drop coming.
But then with every name, what's that?
They're edging my balloon dropping site.
One balloon, one balloon.
Oh, come on, do it, do it.
And maybe you work some balloon metaphors into your thing
or it's like, oh, I can't wait.
The balloon, it's like filling up.
What an excitement.
Wait, are they also giving the commencement address
and handing out the diplomas and-
It feels like that, like you're MCing.
Changing fundamentally the entire graduation process.
Okay, Griffin, now you've unlocked it,
because if it happens all at once,
we can get it done in 10 minutes.
Commencement speech with every student in it.
Yes, you work them in.
That's better than what I was gonna say,
which is just in front of it.
So like, yeah, you work them into it.
So it's like, I'll never forget when Aaron Anderson said it.
Yes, exactly.
I'll never forget the lunch times with my friends
Aaron Anderson, Megan Anderson, Tabitha Anderson.
I don't know how to incorporate walk-up music,
which was my other suggestion.
I guess if they're just playing it on their phones
as they walk by, everybody gets to play whatever song,
and listen, you can't censor this,
whatever song they want on their phone as they walk by.
Makes it take longer.
What if you did the balloon drop on your own name?
What if when it got to you, it was gonna be awkward anyway,
cause you're the one reading it.
Yeah.
So you just go out there and have a big balloon drop.
So you bust right away with the balloons.
You're saying you walk up there,
you're like, what's up everybody?
I'm Griffin McElroy.
Boom, the balloons drop.
Yeah, right at the top.
And then, but this is my diploma.
I'm first.
Uh-huh. And the rims rest you say Travis McElroy, etc
I will now relist of my classmates ranked in the order that I enjoyed them. Here we go. What's up?
I'm Griffin McElroy balloons. I'm shadow type and I have a hundred and eighty HP
First up Gregory Thompson my best friend
First up, Gregory Thompson, my best friend. Fire type, 70 HP.
Get up here, buddy.
Gregory, you pick your best friend.
It's also Gregory.
Let's take a quick break.
It's better, it's better with you.
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You gotta go to the store to buy them.
Yeah.
They're like little trading cards,
but you have to go to the store to buy them.
They're like little trading cards of presidents
and famous abolitionists.
And these trading cards,
you're supposed to lick the back of.
You don't get yelled at.
You must.
Well, no, actually most of the time they are pretty sticky.
A lot of people don't remember that.
What, really?
Yeah, but with stamps.com, you don't even have to go
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Now listen, I wanna tell you guys about Rocket Money,
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very precise, I know, I know.
The opposite.
The fuck?
The opposite is how I feel about it,
the subject you just said.
Okay. The wrongest you I feel about it. The subject you just said. Okay.
The wrongest you could have possibly been.
Okay, cool.
Well, we'll talk about that off mic.
Not saying it's a bad thing, it's fun.
Like you're like a, like you're quirky.
But I use Rocket Money and I was like,
I'll go through some subscriptions and stuff.
It's like $2,500 a year
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A lot of them are those things.
Travis Patrick McElroy.
Griffin, Andrew McElroy, I know, I know.
How much shit were you subscribed to, my dude?
Here's what happened, here's what happened.
Not the bad mouth shit, but I will.
I had a Disney Plus subscription that I looped in.
Oh, don't be there.
That had looped in
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hey, dog, hey, you're paying twice for these things.
Save me thousands of dollars a year
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And it was seamless and easy, literally clicking a thing.
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It is so streamlined, so easy to cancel these subscriptions
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Since 2017, Maximum Film has had the same slogan.
The podcast that's not just a bunch of straight white guys.
Ooh, we've learned something over the years.
Some people out there really do not like that slogan.
Listen, we love straight white guys.
Well, some of them.
But if there's one thing we can't change, it's who we are.
I'm Ify, a comedian who was on strike last year
in two different unions.
I'm Dreya, I've been a producer
and film festival programmer for decades.
And I'm Alonzo, a film critic who literally wrote the book
on queer Hollywood.
You can listen to us talk movies and the movie biz
every week on Maximum Film.
We may not be straight white guys, but we love movies,
and we know what we're talking about.
Listen to Maximum Film on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun.
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Yeah, that was not the right key.
Let me try a different one.
I'm a musician now, so.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,
I want a munch.
Jod.
What?
Did you say Jod?
I think I said Jod.
I didn't know whether to say Jod. Then why did you say Jod? Well think I said Jod. I didn't know whether to say Jod.
Why did you say Jod?
Well, I didn't know what.
Well, that's how you pronounce God.
A lot of people get it wrong.
Yeah, it's a soft G.
Yeah.
Welcome to Munch Squad.
It's a podcast within a podcast
profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating.
It is Shark Week.
Last week.
I didn't know if you boys had heard,
but Shark Week has kicked off on Tommy's birthday
July 7th, and John Cena's the host this year.
So if you- Oh yeah.
Yeah, so if you- I didn't know that Shark Week
could have a host.
Like, John Cena's had a host for a decade.
Yeah, John Cena's had a host for a decade, yeah.
Okay.
I hosted it last year, but I didn't see you didn't watch.
So I wanna talk first off about like the plans for Shark Week,
because I do have a tie in, I have a connection,
but first I just wanna talk about Shark Week.
Okay.
So basically they had, they previously had like
a bunch of DC superheroes, so like Jason Momoa
did it last year, The Rock was-
Seems obvious.
Yeah, they had like DC heroes.
This is the quote from Karen Bronzo,
which is a very good name.
Yeah.
One of the interesting things about Jon is that,
and he admitted this from the beginning,
he really didn't know a lot about sharks.
Huh.
If that's a prerequisite for hosting Shark Week,
you are really not gonna get as much talent,
I think, approaching you as you would like,
whoever does Shark Week.
Well, what does that mean?
The scale at which I don't know a lot about sharks
could cover, right?
Because you've been brought in to host a series
of documentaries and shows and stuff,
presumably with experts somewhere in there.
And if someone's like,
how much do you know about sharks?
Humility is going to serve you well there.
Yeah.
Right?
It is in contrast though, she said,
he was really excited to come along for the ride with us,
which was really gave us a whole different angle
than we had last year with Jason Momoa,
who was really interested in that topic
and knew a fair amount about it.
So what they're saying is, it's a nice change of pace
to have Cena there,
because Jason Momoa was just constantly trying
to tell them about sharks.
Yeah. Right?
He was trying to talk to all the sharks.
He was Momoa splating sharks left and right.
Meanwhile, John Cena, as they go to every commercial break,
is like, holy shit, did you guys see that shit?
That shark was so fucking big, whoa!
Look at that angry dolphin!
No, John, that's a shark.
That's a shark?
Wow, that whale sure was angry.
That was a shark, John.
What?
That slippery gray fish man is so upset.
So these guys are making milk, not making milk.
What's up?
Shark Week premiere night will feature four specials,
beginning with Belly of the Beast, Bigger and Bloodier,
followed by Big Shark Energy, 6,000 Pound Shark,
Sharktopia, and mother sharker hammer time.
Wait, sorry, that can't be, that can't be real.
Mother sharker hammer time.
You guys can tell me more, I got a lot of plates spinning
here if any of you guys wanna look into.
Let me tell you, maybe this is just the looking back,
the nostalgia, I remember a time when Shark Week was like,
mm, listen, you might be afraid of sharks,
but these, listen, very few sharks attack,
so you are more likely to get bitten by a cow
than you are a shark, and now they're like,
bigger and bloodier, these sharks are coming for you
and your credit score and everyone you love,
they're gonna eat your dog.
How the fuck is Mother Shark or Hammer Time
not on YouTube yet, what's going on?
It's nowhere.
Cause it's felt.
There are also co-branded partnerships this year.
There's a House of the Dragon co-branded promo.
There's also a one featuring sharks singing
the banana boat song, Dayo, with Winona Ryder.
Okay.
Celebrating the release of Beeljubub Beelzebub.
There's a lot of like-
Are you releasing Sharks?
I don't, I haven't actually seen the clip, Trav.
I'll let you know though.
Thanks, J-Man.
Oh, sorry.
The one thing they said,
the one thing they wanna be clear about is that
Bronzo says they will begin planning for Shark Week 2025 as soon as this one wraps.
They're already eyeing next year's hosts and is looking beyond the DC talent lineup.
She also absolutely, this is a quote, absolutely foresees female hosts in the future.
That's huge.
After more than a decade of men heading up the event.
One of the things we've always been very conscious of,
especially in bringing on other experts
that we have with the host,
is making sure that we have diversity,
that we have women voices,
that we have diverse voices in Shark Week.
That's what Mother Sharker,
Mother Sharker Hammer Time is all about
the power of a feminine shark.
It's a Mother Sharker, look out.
It is, Mother Sharker Hammer Time is a, There's a mother shark, look out.
It is, Mother Shark or Hammer Time is a queer romance
featuring a wildly diverse range of characters of many different ethnic backgrounds,
and they're all sharks.
One of them is the mother, the mother chumper.
The mother, sorry, the mother, the mother shark.
I like that they're like, for 10 years, it's been dudes,
but don't let that fool you.
We got a great idea for you.
In the future, I could definitely see the possibility
of it potentially maybe at some point in the future,
being a woman, but here's the thing, we all know this,
sharks hate women, and so it's not us, we all know this, sharks hate women.
And so it's not us guys, guys, it's not us.
Every year we go to the sharks and we're like,
we're thinking about a woman this time.
The sharks are like, hmm, I don't know,
could you get Cena?
And that's all the free promo I'm giving Warner Brothers
because they didn't want to make our cartoon.
What I wanted to tell you about though is why the-
Father Shark was our cartoon. why the Munch Squad?
It was like a look at like shark religion.
Yeah.
Hey, why the Munch Squad, Juice?
Why the Munch Squad?
Because we have another little secret Munch Squad sub-series that I'm calling Biz Dev
Deals that fucking fell apart apparently at the last moment.
It was just too late to put a stop to them.
Hell yeah.
Because Duck Donuts is bringing back
a fan favorite, Shark Dozen, for no reason at all.
No.
Duck Donuts sees circling fins,
and that could only mean one thing.
The popular Shark Dozen is back.
Guests can sink their teeth into the limited time
Shark Dozen for one week only, July 7th through the 14th.
Sharks can smell blood in the water,
but Duck Donuts guests smell a perfect snack
to dive into their TV entertainment with this week.
Huh, for whatever you may be watching,
we didn't give anyone any money, so.
This incredible pantheon that is being built
of this and the Dunkin' Donuts tornado adventure beverage.
Very donut heavy.
We are delighted to bring back
our popular summertime favorite snack.
Summertime.
Summertime, that's it.
The shark dozen that our guests look forward to every year.
This year, we're proud to partner with Duck Surf Rescue
to raise awareness about beach safety,
helping guests stay safe and informed
as they enjoy their sweet treats
and create unforgettable beach vacation memories.
So what they are purporting to say is that,
no, this is a celebration of sharks.
This is a celebration of sharks and shark safety,
both from and for sharks.
It has nothing to do with them being offered
during the exact week the shark week is happening.
I hope it's giving big game, you know,
kind of when people are like, when it's like,
you can't do this, you know?
If there should happen to be some kind of a sporting event
this week, except getting neesher and neesher,
and I love it.
I actually promote shark safety both for and from
by preaching and practicing ocean abstinence.
If you don't go where they live, you won't hurt them,
they won't hurt you, you just have to,
and it's not even that big a deal because the ocean-
That's not what I thought you meant.
What do you, what did you think I meant?
Not having sex with sharks.
Well, clearly don't do that either,
like I don't even know how you would do that,
not going into the ocean.
Good luck.
Yeah, but I mean, listen, at this point
in the year of our Lord Anno Domine 2024,
you can't assume that goes without saying.
You know what I mean?
No, I guess if you had a special harness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that considering Bronzo said that,
the only thing Bronzo would be able to say about hosts
is that Bronzo refused to completely rule out the possibility that a woman will host Shark Week at some point.
Yeah.
And considering that's as far as she would go, I think we can safely assume next year is not their year.
Next year ain't it.
Next year is a dude. And I can, if I can just put this in the universe, a DC universe dude that would be absolutely killer
to host Shark Week.
Yeah.
And it's our buddy Ron Funches.
Oh my God.
Can you imagine a Ron Funches hosted Shark Week,
King Shark himself, the one and only King Shark,
out there hosting Shark Week?
Perfect.
Perfect.
Can I just say, it's dumb that you haven't done it yet,
Discovery. It's dumb that you haven't done it yet, Discovery.
It's dumb that you haven't done it yet, it's embarrassing.
It's humiliating.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
We don't know what the DC Universe is gonna look like
this time next year, though.
It could be-
We should do our own unbranded Shark Week.
I'm saying if there's a Rushmore, Funchez is on it,
of the DC Universe.
That's all I'm saying.
We should do our own unbranded Shark Week,
where, like, we don't call it Shark Week,
but we just happen to have a week long TV channel
filled with shark programming
that we have hosted by Ron Funchos for no reason.
That could be cool.
What if we did Eel Day?
And it was just a day,
just about everyone's favorite weird snack.
We should do a Clubhouse episode.
Of eels?
Just Eel Day, where we just like celebrate eels for a whole day
It's kind of crazy. I love to talk about the sunfish and the blobfish some of the weird ones in there never get there do
They're gross. Crossword loves them though. Yeah, they do. They're not gross when they're under the water Griffin
The blobfish is built to be beautiful at the bottom of the ocean. Then we bring them here
How do you think you'd look at the bottom of the ocean?
Pretty squished if you ask me.
Yeah, but we won.
We beat the fish.
And so we get to bring them where we live.
I guess that's true.
So you're saying the blobfish needs to get on it
and make some kind of land submarine
so they can come drag you to the bottom of the ocean
where the pressure was pushing.
I'm saying that the blobfish very slowly
came up to the surface where the sun and the algae
and every other animal on earth was.
And war, and war, Griffin.
There's no war at the bottom of the ocean.
You think there's not trench war?
You don't think there's trench warfare happening?
Mariana trench warfare?
No, I don't think so, Griffin.
I think that they live in peace down there
in the fan fiction that I've written,
and that's where they truly get along,
the blobfish and me.
I mean, I'm there too,
because in this world they've granted me the magic
to be able to survive at the bottom of the ocean,
and I'm their leader of sorts.
I was gonna ask if it's erotic sort of, but when you're-
That's an element to it,
but I wouldn't say it's a main.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
when you're dealing with blobfish.
Of course it's erotic.
And so I would say, Griffin, that I wouldn't,
if I was putting my book on the shelves of a bookstore,
hopefully coming to a bookstore in the year 2025.
I wouldn't put it in the smut section,
I'd put it in historical fiction.
That's interesting.
It's a time travel thing too,
where I'm back in time and I'm helping them evolve.
Busting nuts at the Cambrian explosion.
That's Travis, the all father.
He went in one of those big vents busting,
and that's where we all, that's how it all happened, folks.
So, Mother Sharker is a series
about where sharks give birth.
So one team of scientists deploys an arsenal
of new technology to find out,
but they need to meet some of the Bahamas' biggest tiger shark mothers face to face for it to work.
So basically, Mother Shark reads a series about a bunch of nasty dogs that just want
to watch sharks have babies.
They want to sneak a peek at some shark genies and see how they make the babies.
So hammer time is, we pivoted away from the tiger sharks and we're like, but hammer sharks,
where do you hump hammerheads?
Where is your humping ground?
Your heads look so weird.
I bet you shoot the babies out in a strange way also.
Yeah, you got like a weird shaped jenny's,
like a Star Wars kind of hangar bay.
Yeah.
If you are watching this after July 13th,
which unless you're editing it, you probably are,
you can go find out for yourself
where Hammerhead's half of their babies.
Anywhere in the ocean.
You can watch them, watch the pups.
I bet the answer is the ocean,
unless some scientists got them to look at them close.
And then they do it in a swimming pool.
I assume that there's nurse sharks there.
Yeah, probably.
Next year I want to see Mako in there,
so that we can see how Mako make of the shark.
Mako make of the shark!
Mako make of the shark! I actually, of the shark. Mako make of the shark.
I actually guys feel my willpower sapping from my heart.
We have a vessel.
Thank you so much for listening to our podcast,
my brother, my brother, me.
I hope you've enjoyed yourself as much as we have.
We are so excited. We're having a good time over here.
We're having a good time over here.
I'm sorry we missed shark week, but hey, here we are.
What do we need to tell people about? Guys, that's not my job.
I need to tell people that the next graphic novel
in the Adventure Zone balanced graphic novel series,
The Severing Game, comes out this Tuesday.
Yeah.
You can get your copy at theadventurezonecomic.com,
and also we do a streaming series called Clubhouse,
Macro Family Clubhouse, every Tuesday at noon Eastern time
over at the Macro Family YouTube.
And this week we're doing a very special episode
celebrating the release of that graphic novel.
So don't miss it.
Noon Eastern time over the Macro Family YouTube channel
on Tuesday.
We'll see you there.
Every Tuesday.
Every Tuesday.
Sometimes we play games.
Sometimes we play video games.
There's all this.
It's in hoot.
They're also all available if you've missed them
in the past, you can find them, I believe,
under the live tab on our YouTube page.
We got some shows coming up this week also.
If you live in Detroit, we're gonna be there
doing MbemBem and Taz July 18th and 19th,
and the day after that, July 20th,
we're gonna be in Cleveland.
There's still tickets for those shows available
if you're coming, and you have a question you wanna answer
at MbimBam or wish to fungalore that you want read aloud,
email it to MbimBam at MaximumFun.org
and put your city in the subject line
so we know where you're coming from.
We're also gonna be at GINCon this year.
We're doing a book launch event
for the suffering game as well there.
So make sure you get your tickets for that.
As well as all of our future tours for the rest of the year, all of our appearances and whatnot.
You can find them at bit.ly slash McRoy Tours.
You've got the ticket information, everything there.
And if you haven't yet, go check out all the merch over at McRoyMerch.com.
And 10% of all proceeds this month go to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund.
So go check that out, McRoyMerch.com.
Thank you to Montaigne for the U-ight theme song, My Life is Better with You. It's a track that gets my heart pumping pure adrenaline
when I'm out on the tracks.
Ooh.
Hey, I got a wish here for the big fungo.
Can I throw it up? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz smaller quantities of lettuce at the grocery store. I don't know you. Pfft.
I didn't know you.
My name's Justin McElroy.
I'm Travis McElroy.
I'm Griffin McElroy.
I agree with that one though.
I've never not thrown away lettuce.
This is where my brother, my brother, me
kiss your dad's scur in the lips. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah My way is better with you