My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 726: Hot Dog Think Appointment
Episode Date: August 26, 2024Thank you for listening to this podcast in the way that it was meant to be consumed. We put so much effort into making these dogs look picture-perfect, gluing puzzles together, and figuring out Count ...Donut’s lore that it’s truly only experienced in this exact correct way to listen to podcasts. Suggested talking points: Every Island Gets You Old, It Sounds Like You're Wearing Glasses, Sword's Too Big, No One's Doing Homeward Bound, Geese People, Mulled PepsiWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/
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The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.
Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.
Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.
What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful
A small acquaintance has blossomed
It's ripened into a precious friendship
I could've never seen what was coming for me
Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach
My life, it feels like
My life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
My life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
This is true, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with two
My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Good morning, Trap Nation. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
News, sounds, it's time for a Trap Watch.
Trap.
That segment has been on ice for a while.
I don't know if you guys have noticed that.
Collecting dust over there.
It is also another segment on the whole genre
of trap music.
Nor, we do not know what Fetty Wap is up to today.
This is also not the one where we talk about
the Von Trapp family and just like their whole history and stuff like that.
No, Justin, specifically I want to tell you
and perhaps any listeners who aren't aware
about the concept of the movie, Trapp.
Oh, I'm so excited to talk about Trapp.
Did you see Trapp?
And now I know it's an M. Night Shyamalan picture.
Did you guys see Trapp?
Hey, you seen Trapp?
No.
I saw the preview, Griffin,
and that was all I needed to see.
Yeah, same for me.
I like the preview was Kick Assas.
I was too busy to see a Deadpool twice in the theaters.
Justin, imagine you're a father, right Justin?
Okay, so we've all been in this position.
You have your kid begging you to take you to the concert
of an incredibly popular musician,
perhaps a Taylor Swift level musician.
Or a Danny Goh for, in our case.
Correct. So, Justin, you, like, arm and a leg, buy these tickets.
You're taking your, I think, tween daughter
to go see Taylor Swift.
Yeah.
And you're going to buy some merch for the show, of course.
While there, the merch salesperson reveals to you
that this whole concert is in fact a sting operation.
It's a sting operation, a trap, if you will,
to catch the most notorious serial killer alive working.
The concert's a trap?
The whole concert's a trap.
They put a big cage over the whole concert.
Yeah, they figured out the serial killer's gonna be there.
Who's the band?
It's Taylor Swift, right?
But it's Taylor Swift, but also M. Night Shyamalan's daughter.
It's two, it's both things.
Okay, got it.
And so then the salesperson is like,
yeah, so everybody's gonna get checked leaving
to see if they're a serial killer.
Yeah, they have a little gun that they point at you,
and if it goes boop, it means you're the serial killer.
And so you're like, ah, cool, man,
but then as you're walking away, Justin,
we see that you are very nervous
because you are in fact the serial killer
and the star of this movie, Josh Hartnett.
That's right, Shyamalan Twist, the main character.
It's in the trailer, huge for me,
because I'm always, I see these movies
and I'm like, this the beach that gets you old.
And I'm like, fuck, I wish I knew what the twist was
with the beach that get you old.
But the trailer didn't tell me,
and I certainly didn't go see Old in theaters.
This one, Juice?
They put the thing right in the GD trailer,
which was awesome.
I love having that twist right up front.
So I didn't see Island Make You Old.
Yeah. I didn't see Island Make You Old. Yeah.
I didn't see-
Not Island, but up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
It's not a whole island that makes you old.
This is something that people get confused.
It's just one side.
It's the one edge sort of perimeter of one landmass.
If the whole island got you old,
that movie would be so shitty.
I also think he did.
I've never seen the movie that actually makes
a lot more sense because I thought it was just a
Movie about watching people get old. Yeah check this out every island is an island that get you old. Yeah, that's true
That's a good point. It's like M. Night Shyamalan watched boyhood and said I'm just gonna film somebody for a hundred years
He said boring. Not enough. I saw
I saw grandparents are wildin. Yeah thatparents Are Wildin', Yeah. That one.
Yeah.
The visit, Grandparents Are Wildin' Out.
Oh, yes, yes.
I saw, I saw,
Did you see Helevator?
Helevator was good.
I saw, I saw Weak Man versus Bruce Willis.
Uh-huh.
That was, and-
Did you see Weak Man versus Bruce Willis, two and three?
I saw the whole franchise.
Okay. Okay.
So how do you feel about seeing
Oops, My Dad's a Serial Killer?
Yeah, Travis, actually this one,
we can't change the title of.
Trap is the best fucking, Trap.
The best fucking title of a movie, certainly this year.
A lot of movies think we have to put a lot of words in here.
Avatar, The Way of Water.
It's like, you've told me so much about that film, and now I don't wanna see it.
Trap!
Trap!
I gotta see Trap.
Let me get one ticket for Trap.
Trap's kinda nice too, because if you don't like it,
then at the end they get to see it like,
well, I guess you were, the trap's on you.
Yeah.
Like, we said it was a trap, and you got trapped.
We will be scanning everybody who leaves the theater
to see if they're a serial killer.
I'm gonna see trap.
The trap is to catch you.
Yeah.
I'm gonna watch trap.
I might wait 10 days for it to appear
on my home television set.
On your Roku.
Which is so fucking kind.
The kindness that, let's say a Borderlands
has provided me, a gamer who loves movies,
to say,
the movie just came out, but we're gonna go ahead
and let you watch it on your home television set,
is so fucking choice, and I do appreciate that.
I love the Roku because the Roku
with its many free options.
I love, because every once in a while,
Roku will be like, here's a movie you can watch for free, but you could tell no algorithm has even peeked at it
No, just fired out of a t-shirt can at you like hey
Remember how Steve Martin did a serenade to Bergerac thing called Roxanne?
Jesus Christ. Yeah, you like that
It's just the garbage can of DVDs
They have in every electronic section in every Walmart of like,
I don't know, man, we got a dog's purpose.
Is that what you want?
It's $3 and it's got so many bonus features.
Do you guys remember when we went and saw
the Dungeons and Dragons movie at the start of it,
like the cast is sitting there, like just straight up,
looking straight into the camera saying like,
thanks for coming to see a movie theater
the way a movie's supposed to be seen.
I think that when movies come out simultaneously
to streaming and theaters,
they should also put one at the beginning of the stream
and it was like, we're so fucking disappointed in you man.
Just have Kevin Hart.
How could you? You could have seen this movie
the way it was meant to be seen.
Yeah.
Now you're watching on your Nokia flip phone.
I don't actually remember that
from the Dungeons and Dragons movie, Travis,
because Justin let me hit his weed pin
right before the movie started.
And then the first 20 minutes of that movie for me
were a straight panic attack.
And also the most I've ever enjoyed a movie,
but having the whole cast of the movie.
At the same time, yeah.
The whole cast of the movie, Chris Pine, arms folded,
looking at me like, are you fucked up right now, Griffin?
That was more than I could-
Are you enjoying this movie the way
it's supposed to be seen, or are you fucked up?
That was more than I could, Hugh Grant looking at me
with peak judgment was not a pleasant experience.
It's a trap.
It was a trap, that one was a trap.
Now, Griffin, are you aware that you're still wearing
the Hello My Name is Griffin name tag?
Yeah, I went to my son's preschool,
orient, daycare orientation,
and I did not realize until we started recording
that I was still wearing the name tag,
but some people have trouble figuring us out
and knowing which ones we are,
and I thought maybe it would be helpful.
Maybe we should do an audio name tag
where just in the middle of every sentence, Travis,
we're saying we should say like an audio name tag where just in the middle of every sentence, Travis, we're saying we should say like our names in there.
Yep, yeah.
I mean, we all have beards and glasses now.
And so like, it's getting harder and harder
for people to tell us apart.
So I think what would be good is if maybe we wore
big monogrammed shirts, like we were on Yo Gabba Gabba
or something like that, bright jewel tones.
You didn't say your name in there at all, Griffin.
I did it.
I'm not wearing glasses.
Yeah, but it sounds like you are to the listeners.
Sometimes you put your gunars on, juice,
your gamer glasses that block out all those blue beams.
But not now as you're saying this and looking at me,
you know?
But you sound like someone who would wear glasses.
You sound and look like someone who should wear glasses.
Yeah, the brain fills in the glasses, like when you look at a thing and it's like,
does it look like this picture's moving?
It's just the way the shapes are.
When I look at you, Justin, the shapes of you
make me see glasses.
Make me think glasses.
Are you wearing your Gunnar contacts right now, Juice?
Because if you're gaming without protection.
I am not a paid endorser of the Gunnar brand,
so I'm not gonna indulge in this.
You seem like you would be. Yeah, you seem like they're target demos. I'm not a paid endorser of the Gunner brand, so I'm not gonna indulge in this.
You seem like you would be.
Yeah, you seem like they're target demos.
A lot of assumptions.
Am I, is it wrong assumptions though?
Can you believe they're making a new Crow movie?
Can you believe it?
Well, he comes right from the dead, so yeah.
I saw a poster for that, and I looked around for teens to see if teens were like, hey, the crow.
Finally, my crow.
Were they wanting a crow?
I just need a crow from my generation.
This ain't your granddaddy's crow.
If memory serves when crow came out,
also no one was excited about crow
because they didn't know how badass crow was gonna be.
But it seems like that might be the case now.
I think Crow's gonna get a lot of buzz and a lot of build,
and I don't think it's gonna come to my home TV set
for two months.
I think we should be, are you saying that we should
get out early and be staunchly pro-Crow?
Because we're gonna be on the right side of history.
I would wanna do some Googling, some cursory Googling
of some of the big names attached to the feature film,
I think.
Some of the big nations. Have you seen the new Crow
starring and directed by Mel Gibson?
The McElroys are all the fuck about it.
He's got a new one.
He's got a new one out.
I saw this. Of course he does.
A couple times before
And they don't they don't say Mel Gibson they say the director of hacksaw Ridge which
Do you mean Braveheart yeah the guy from the Patriot I
Have just put the I have this theory in films, specifically,
that once the 1989 Tim Burton Batman came out,
that everybody was like, okay, we gotta make something like this.
What have you guys got?
And that's how we ended up with like The Phantom,
and we ended up with like Dick Tracy and anything.
And The Crow came out in 1994. So it's possible that somebody pitched The Crow and we ended up with Dick Tracy and anything.
And the crow came out in 1994.
So it's possible that somebody pitched the crow as like,
it's like Batman.
You guys like Batman?
This is like Batman.
You guys like Batman?
Dark City's only, Dark City's coming up soon.
You know that.
You know we're about to get Darker City
coming up real soon.
The shadow is another,
thank Tim Burton's Batman for the Shadow.
And it's been like two years,
I think we're ready for more Watchmen, another Watchmen.
Let's do Watchmen again.
Let's try Watchmen. Maybe this time
we'll figure it out.
I mean, the TV show figured it out
pretty fucking definitively.
Hey, let's do questions
instead of talking about comic book movies.
Thank you.
I work at a game store,
and my boss randomly decided
to give me a Final Fantasy VII puzzle.
He said his wife got it and wasn't doing anything with it,
so I decided to take it.
One problem though, the puzzle was already finished.
Glued together and everything.
Glued together and everything,
that's not a normal part of it.
Glued together and everything.
It's been sitting on my coffee table for a few weeks
and I don't know what to do with it.
Do I risk breaking it apart and try solving it myself?
Do I frame it and hang it up,
suffering for the guilt of displaying an accomplishment
that wasn't mine?
Do I hide it?
What do I do?
That's from Puzzle Trouble in Los Angeles
and that's one of the wilder things I've ever heard.
Yeah.
Who did his wife get it from?
I, oh, I made the assumption that the wife
put the puzzle together.
His wife got it and wasn't doing anything with it.
Be careful, because my brain is going
in a couple different directions,
because when I first heard and wasn't doing anything
with it, I almost chimed in like,
what else are you gonna do with a puzzle?
Unless,
Unless,
Unless,
This, like this object is what she obtained.
She obtained a finished puzzle for Final Fantasy VII,
Yeah.
And her husband's like, why did you get that?
And she's like, I don't know.
Yeah.
I have a problem.
Do you know anybody that has heard of Final Fantasy?
I don't even know this spiky hair guy's deal.
I don't know what's up with Goku with balls for shoulders.
I don't know his story.
That sword's too big, right?
That sword's too big.
I'm no scientist, that sword's too big.
The fatigue alone.
It is possible that the wife got it
and didn't do anything with it
because she got a completed puzzle
that had been glued together.
And she suffered the same exact conundrum
that you now find yourself in.
She had to pass it off like Dering
in order to escape its sort of mind trap
that it had put her in.
There are sometimes, isn't there like,
you can get special like uncut sheets of playing cards
and like, is this a way that, like, puzzles come sometimes?
It's like, oh, they never cut this one apart.
Pre-finished, pre-finished, pre-glue-ed?
Well, because listen, tired,
puzzles you have to put together.
Wired, puzzles you have to take apart.
Well, yeah, but the glue is what sets it off for me.
They have essentially given you a wrinkly picture
at that point, a wrinkly print, a wrinkly photograph.
A cracked, yeah.
A cracked and wrinkled and weathered photograph.
Have you guys ever saved a puzzle?
No way.
No way, right?
No how?
I've saved a puzzle to the extent that one time
me and Rachel did during COVID a like 750 or 1000 piece puzzle
that was the cover of the Sergeant Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club Band, which is mostly
identical looking flowers.
Great job, Beatles.
Thanks for setting us up for that.
We saved it.
I don't think they have that in mind, Griffin,
when they designed the cover for the album.
I don't think that anybody was like,
do we need to worry about how hard this is gonna be
as a jigsaw puzzle later?
Yeah.
The White Album was, I would imagine,
would also be a tough puzzle to solve.
But we had like momentum for like two nights
and we started to build the edges.
And then we were like, God,
I do not wanna keep doing this,
but I also don't, the sunk cost fallacy hits so hard
that I saved,
we saved a puzzle for like three months
until we finally finished it,
and then immediately scooped it into a garbage can.
I think that if I put together like some ridiculous,
like 5,000 piece big puzzle of a cool picture,
I might be tempted to like shellac that bad boy.
You think so?
Maybe, maybe.
But the same is like, I feel the same about Legos.
And then what?
And then what?
Display it.
And then what?
This my, hey guys.
The next thing is.
This my puzzle.
Griffin and Travis, Justin, our brothers.
And so Travis has Griffin and Justin over.
And then what do Griffin and Justin say
about the puzzle, Trav?
I mean, if we're just taking-
You say, why did you save it?
And I said, it just seemed like a waste to take it apart,
I guess.
I don't know, man.
Why do we save anything?
Sometimes you gotta just touch a thing
and see if it gives you joy.
And I touch this puzzle and it gives me joy.
But then I would touch it and say like, nope.
Nothing, get rid of it.
Well, then I would ask you to throw it away from me
when I wasn't looking, cause I didn't have the strength to do it. Well then I would ask you to throw it away from me when I wasn't looking,
cause I didn't have the strength to do it.
And then I would go to work,
and I would find the one guy that knows about that puzzle,
and I would say, do I have some art for you?
Right.
Would you like a poster?
Would you like a shitty poster?
Anyone who does puzzles when LEGOos is available to you,
that's wild, I don't understand that.
Oh, don't get into that.
That's just like, I can see it on TikTok.
I'm so tired of this kind of engagement, Griffin.
You can't play with a finished puzzle.
Sometimes you finish building the Legos and it's like,
and now I have a Millennium Falcon toy.
I have a big spaceship toy now.
You finish a puzzle and it's like,
all right, time to just look at it.
Hey kids, come around, look at the puzzle.
Meanwhile, I'm over here and I'm like,
hey kids, it's the Millennium Falcon.
Daddy built that.
He solved that puzzle with his mind.
Sure, there was a book that told me exactly
where every piece is supposed to go.
But now we have a toy.
You could do a little bit,
what if you put together Starry Night,
like a Starry Night puzzle, and then you finished it
and showed people and you're like,
yeah, this is like a collab between me and Van Gogh.
We made this together, like he kind of set it up
and I knocked it down.
This is a bonus head spike for me and Van Gogh.
Oh, and you're tearing the pieces off
and sticking on Sonic the Hedgehog Lego set to it.
You've improved the yard dramatically. Starry Night's so muchhog Lego set to it. You've improved the art dramatically,
Starry Night's so much better with Sonic in it.
And I do think that if Van Gogh had lived for another,
however many hundred years, and seen Sonic the Hedgehog,
he would've been like, this kicks ass,
I've gotta get this dude in some of my paintings.
When we were kids, we used to be able to play with Legos,
like a big box of Legos,
then you put Legos together and make stuff.
I tell you, man, sometimes I feel bad
because my kids don't do that much,
but you can't even do anything with Lego pieces these days
because they're all a specific piece
of intellectual property.
When you're gonna glue together,
this is Darth Maul's right leg
and a milkshake from the Archies and-
Yeah, Juice, that's kinda exactly how it goes down here. Darth Maul's right leg, and Milkshake from the Archies, and now the truck.
That's kinda exactly how it goes down here.
It's nonstop Madcap Super Smash Brothers, I feel like,
anytime we play with Legos.
Hey, do y'all wanna go to the Wizard?
Yeah. I'd love to.
All right, this one has been sent in by a lot of people,
and I haven't brought it because it's sort of,
I don't know, it feels a little bit outside my wheelhouse.
I like to sort of be able to add my own skewed view on stuff.
Yeah, of course.
But it is, it's how to get your dog into modeling.
Oh, thank you.
Simple strategies to get your pooch noticed
by pet brands and talent agencies.
Your dog already has a starring role in your life,
but what if your furry friend had a starring role
on screen too?
The world of dog modeling is vast and varied,
and commercial directors and product marketers
are always looking for the next billboard-worthy pup,
but where to begin?
Does it clarify Griffin in there, like what kind of,
I assume pet modeling.
No, I mean, what?
Like there's not like, my dog's not gonna be modeling watches or I mean, I, what?
Like there's not like, my dog's not gonna be modeling
watches or perfumes or something, right?
Like.
Modeling perfumes.
Yeah, you know, when you have a perfume ad
and the dog's posing there and you know.
That would be cool.
Yeah, no, I mean, usually a perfume ad
is usually just like a wrist near a neck with like a silk.
A lot of it's Johnny Depp for some reason.
I see Johnny Depp on there a lot.
I mean, he's gotta be a fragrant individual.
Talk about a dog.
I think-
Talk about an old dog, right?
Probably no watches on this one.
Yeah.
On this dog.
I think it's talking about, you know,
ads for foods for Purina or what have you.
Heartworm.
I mean, if your dog's kind of-
Whoa, did we just say heartworm at the exact same moment?
We did.
That's good.
Your dog has to be a little bit busted
for the heartworm medicine ads, though, I think.
Yeah.
You never see like a gorgeous, healthsome dog
out there for heartworms.
It's always like a little scruffy,
like looks good, sort of like older, good looking dog.
But one bad break is gonna set on the wrong pet.
I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys get these,
but all around Cincinnati, there's like,
billboards encouraging you to like spay and neuter your pets.
And it'll be like pictures of a cat wearing sunglasses.
I guess the implication being like,
this cat fucks all of our family.
This cat's gonna fuck our cat and make more cats
and you're not ready for that.
You gotta fix this cat.
This rowdy cat's got bad seed.
He's gonna make some real stinker
of a litter of kittens for you.
You don't want any part of this.
I don't know what the cast call looks like for that cat,
where like a cat comes in like, no, too chaste.
No, that cat, that cat's pure part.
We know.
No.
Oh, that's a dirty dog right there, that cat.
Yeah, that cat, that cat gets around.
Says if you see this, if you see MC Scat Cat come around,
just make sure your cat wears protection
because you do not want, you do not want to multiply.
Okay, so what are we talking about?
Dog modeling.
Determine your dog's strengths, like performing tricks
or looking cute, and market them accordingly.
The tricks thing, I don't think is necessary.
No.
I've never seen a commercial or a dog movie
where they're like, I guess Air Bud
was like a pretty acrobatic dog.
Yeah, but that wasn't a model, that was a performance.
That was a, like that dog was acting.
I think that this article is maybe blending
these two sort of conceits.
Which is kind of, maybe it's biting off
a little bit more than it can chew.
The scope has expanded.
The scope has expanded a little bit too much.
Okay, so let's-
Do they talk about relatability in there?
Because like, yeah, I like a beautiful dog, that's great.
But I like a dog that I see and I'm like,
mm, that dog and I have both been through life.
We've both experienced some things.
This dog, this dog me is like a comment I see a lot
on Instagram.
So, identify your dog's strengths.
Is your dog a capable athlete?
Can they follow commands like a pro?
Maybe they're just great AQT.
These are all desirable qualities in a dog model and will lend themselves to different kinds of modeling have a good think about what?
Makes your dog model material in which qualities you can emphasize when marketing them
Have a good think about it. Oh man. I'd love to come hang, but I'm actually busy tonight. Yeah, yeah tonight
I am having a good think about what makes my dog hot not right now Kathy
I'm thinking about what makes my dog hot I told you I'd Kathy. I'm thinking about what makes my dog hot.
I told you I'd be in here for 15 minutes
thinking about our hot dog.
Every day you have it in the calendar.
I put it in the Google calendar every day.
Have a think.
Have a think.
Why tell me to put my stuff on the Google calendar
if you're not gonna look at it, Kathy?
Or you at least respect it.
I didn't tell you to come here
when you had your doctor's appointment on there, so why
do you come when I'm having to think about what makes our dog a good dog model?
This is for everybody!
This is for all of us if I can figure this out!
Do you think a list of our dog's sexiest attributes is just gonna come to me in a dream,
Kathy?
It takes work!
What's hard about this, though, is by analyzing your dog for its most sexy
and desirable traits, you are by definition
going to discover all the things about your dog
that are maybe not so appealing,
that maybe never bothered you before,
but then all of a sudden you're like the left jowl,
the right jowl.
Uneven.
I don't like it. You're setting beauty standards.
I'm saying that like, Buttercup has a Benji-esque quality
that you would say like, I trust that dog.
That dog's gonna get it for you.
And then Lily is a beautiful idiot
that you'd be like, oh, you goober, right?
Both of those things I think are marketable.
Yeah.
Lily would be good in a commercial.
I don't think it has to be societal standards, Justin,
of what makes a dog sexy and beautiful.
Yeah, but even if you discover that you're,
but in the process of discovering that,
you discover what they're not, right?
Like you may have to realize like,
my Dalmatian is not very charismatic.
Now that is heartbreaking.
When you learn that, they don't have the it factor.
That is heartbreaking.
Like you look at it and you're like,
it's just not a spark.
Yeah.
There should be a dog, there should look at him, you're like, it's just not a spark. Yeah. There should be a dog,
there should be a dog that maybe they like
bring to the mall one Saturday a month.
And it's just like a fucking, like,
he's got a cigar and a little laptop computer
who could just be like, next.
Sorry kids, you don't got it.
Just like can break.
Nothing behind the eyes. Nothing behind the eyes.
Nothing behind the eyes.
I've seen a lot of dogs.
Turn around for me.
Nope.
Like just breaking your dog's heart
right in front of the Macy's one Saturday a month.
Do you think they do have other dogs in the casting
where they're like, I don't know, man,
but I don't get it, but Rusty's going apeshit.
Like a focus test?
A focus test.
Like an instant like Rusty's been trying to rip off his leash since they walked in.
We are.
This is our dog.
Yeah.
And so listen, owners aren't going to click with this dog, but the dogs are going to go
shit about like the dogs are going to crave this food because that's the Blippi of dogs.
Yeah.
I don't get it, but they love it.
I don't think of Blippi as a natural model.
I don't think I've ever seen anything Blippi has worn
or endorsed.
I guess what I'm saying-
I've been like, if he's into it, I gotta get this.
You're reaffirming Justin's point.
I guess what I'm saying, Griffith, is Blippi
is something that kids like that adults don't get.
And this dog in our joke was something that dogs like
that their owners don't get.
So that was the parallel that I was drawing.
Not that Blippi is the standard.
Not that Blippi is the standard of physical attractiveness
or like a kind of a professional model.
Okay, I understand the joke model. Is that clear?
Okay, I understand the joke now.
I understand the joke now,
and I thank you both for being so patient with me.
You're so welcome, Griffin.
While you explain it.
I like to think that we can't all be superheroes
like the Crow, but we can be superheroes
in our day-to-day life,
and I think that's what the Crow would want us to do
if he was watching us right now.
Thank you, Crow.
Our Crow is an awesome Crow.
I wanna send you guys maybe the best picture
I've ever seen on WikiHow,
and we're gonna need to figure out
how we can share this with our audience.
The next subheader is,
test your dog's temperament in a modeling setting.
This is the photo that has accompanied this subheader.
I've texted it to you.
Oh, to text. Oh, it's a text.
Oh, boy.
You have so many ways of sending me pictures.
Wow, that's really good.
Can we describe the image, please?
Well, that's a, that's a-
Do you know the kind of dog
it's supposed to kind of be, Travis?
Looks like a terrier of some sort.
Yeah, it looks kinda like a Bichon Fries.
Yeah.
It looks like a Bichon Fries.
It's white and it's got four little cowboy boots
on and a little cowboy hat.
And he looks so stoked to be there.
It's a really powerful dog.
Now they put so much work though
into the dog and dog accessories
that then when it came time to in any way indicate
what environment he was in, they said,
oh, I'm not gonna do that.
Here's what I can say.
They found a picture of a dog they could trace,
they found a picture of a hat they could trace,
they couldn't find pictures of boots on a dog they could trace.
So that is, it gets pretty wet and wild in there.
And then it looks like a concrete wall
and like a brown concrete floor.
Yeah, you would, I would not,
this does not seem like a reputable casting situation.
No, not at all.
Not at all. You have to be wise about that shit.
Even if your furry best friend has the goods, they also need to deliver.
Meaning they need to be friendly and even keeled around strangers and other dogs and sit patiently for a camera.
They also need to consistently perform commands without much fuss in a variety of settings. Can you have a dog sexy enough
that it can be a piece of shit in the room?
And the casting director's like,
I'm not looking forward.
This is my dog, Jared Leto.
I'm not looking forward to working with dog Jared Leto,
but he's so fucking hot.
Did you see how hot that dog was?
To be fair though, it's way more acceptable
when dog Jared Leto leaves dead animals around from the other actors. Did you see how hot that dog was? And to be fair though, it's way more acceptable
when dog Jared Leto leaves dead animals around
from the other actors.
That is expected of dog Jared Leto.
Makes a lot more sense.
Is it possible that Jared Leto is just a tall dog in a-
Why haven't I left?
Or whatever the version of a dog, chat.
Jared Leto is a tall, bipedal dog,
and he doesn't know why people get so mad about his antics.
This is a gift that he has gotten
for anyone else in that movie, man, shit.
Will Smith?
He probably didn't bring Will Smith dead birds.
Morbius is half man, half dog, half bat, all hero.
Yeah.
All hit maker.
Train your dog in basic obedience commands.
I'm gonna skip this because it's boring.
Hey, building a portfolio and social media presence.
Take professional headshots of your dog.
Just like a human model, dog models need their own portfolio
to show to agencies and directors,
and a portfolio begins with a headshot.
The dogs probably aren't showing the portfolios though, huh?
No, probably.
But do be careful about letting your dogs
have access to social media because if eventually
they do get famous, people are gonna start scrubbing
through like their old tweets and stuff,
looking for anything.
And I will also say this.
It's gotta be a tough road to hoe
because we've been doing this show
about as long as a dog can live.
And so if we-
We're still, and we're still honestly.
We're crushing, we're crushing.
Well, yeah.
We're crushing, we're crushing.
We're crushing it, but we're still fighting
for every scrap, you know what I mean?
Like we have to-
What I'm saying, and the level we are is still lower
than really famous dogs, you know what I mean?
Oh my God, Travis, it's adorable that you think
we're even approaching the level of very famous dogs.
Did you see Deadpool?
That's got a very famous dog.
We'll never be Deadpool dogs.
No fucking way.
That's aspirational for us.
That's aspirational, absolutely. That's aspirational, absolutely.
Have you guys discovered,
while looking for things on the Cameo Service,
how many pets there are?
Yeah, there's a lot.
That's a good, if you wanna build your brand,
you could just put your duck on there,
and for $8, your duck will stand in front
of a sign of your name or whatever.
That's a great way to start getting the word out. Yeah. Because then friends show friends like, hey, this duck stood in front of a name, a sign of your name or whatever. That's a great way to start getting the word out.
Because then friends show friends like,
hey, this duck stood in front of a name,
a sign with my name on it.
And that's gonna blow it up.
My point is, we've been doing this show for 14 years
and change, and we have built ourselves an empire
on hard bedrock.
When you start a cat or dog social media website,
you are building your house on sand to put the Bible.
That's all I'm saying.
Best case scenario, you're not going to get two decades.
You're not gonna vest.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it's, you're not gonna have your IPO probably
in that window of time.
But the other thing I'll say is that
if one of us kicks at 10 a.m.,
you can't have another one of us
Instacarted to the house by 2 p.m.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what I'm saying, boy.
Like, are you saying?
Are you saying you can Instacart a nude?
Like, oh man, this one stopped.
Flip, tip tip tip tip tip tip tip.
Oh shit, PetSmart just delivers dogs, amazing.
I am saying, Griffin, that if you have a famous Dalmatian
and that Dalmatian beeps it,
it would be way easier to replace that Dalmatian
than to replace me in a way that people wouldn't be like,
that's not Travis.
Okay, now hold on, because when you say replace,
are you suggesting that you just do
an Indiana Jones dog swap without mentioning like-
If I have a successful cameo business going
where people are buying cameos from my duck
to stand in front of their name,
and I've got a backup of orders,
and that duck beefed it.
Yeah.
Ahhhhhhh!
Duck is easy, duck is easy, all ducks look pretty much,
you can get an identical looking duck,
I feel like dogs people-
Leaf Step found a lot of toes in the past girl with stupid comments and everything
Do you really want to upset duck duck friends?
I love ducks. I think ducks are great. They're not they're not they're better than geese by a huge factor
People now geese people. Yeah
I do not think we could get them on Instacart
But I bet we could swap people say that I look like a lot of dudes.
So if I beefed, I bet you guys could get someone in here.
It would not take-
That's why I didn't say you, Griffin.
I specifically did say myself.
Yeah, no, you're one of a kind.
Thank you.
So let's, I look like a lot of the characters in Arthur,
which is heartbreaking to me.
Now is that your own judgment or have you been told that?
I've been told that by, I've seen multiple screenshots
of the characters from the show Arthur,
of people saying literally just like, this you,
and me saying like, that hurts.
It hurts because it's true.
And when I say Arthur, I mean the cartoon
about the aardvark and not like the British man
who's like, gets so sexy.
Create a resume and online portfolio for your dog.
I think we did that.
Create social media accounts for your dog
and engage with other users.
That's weird. As the dog?
As the dog?
Yeah, that would be cool if someone was like,
cute puppers, and then you just responded like,
just like a string of letters, like yeah,
the dog pounded on the keyboard for that one.
Oh, okay, I thought you were gonna say like a woof woof,
like bow wow response.
Bark bark.
Yeah, that could work.
They're using text to speech.
Okay, then that would make sense.
Oh yeah.
Oh, I got myself really good with that one.
I thought that was really funny.
Oh yeah.
Post sponsored content on social media.
Once your social media page is off the ground,
you'll get approached by smaller brands
that will offer to pay you in exchange
for posting a picture of your dog posing with their product
or a similar situation.
They will?
When will that happen for us is what I would like to know.
Now here's the difference though.
The leeway, the leniency that one is willing to offer a dog
should they partner with what turns out to be
a very problematic company.
I bet that there's a lot more leeway given to a dog
where the dog's like,
ooh, and he's like, yeah man, it's a dog.
What was he gonna do?
What was he gonna get online and do some deep research?
He's a dog.
He's a dog, you can't get mad at a dog.
Look at him.
Browse and apply to canine talent agencies.
Oh, gotta be careful there.
Okay, do we, okay, there's some, okay,
I'm looking at the names of some actual
industry leading pet talent agencies.
We got Top Dog Talent Agency.
Sure.
That kicks ass, man.
Yeah.
Fucking kudos to-
Slam dunk.
Whoever founded that company and named it, that's great.
What's our company gonna be called?
We're gonna work with dogs.
Top Dog Talent Company.
I love it.
Now that could be misleading though,
because if I'm looking for a talent agent for myself,
I'm like, oh, they're the top dog in the business.
Yeah.
I wanna work with them.
We've got fricking Hollywood animals, we got ACGS,
but the best, Paws-it-tively famous.
You gotta get in there, the profit margins on these
are so huge.
Paws-it-tively famous?
Paws-it-tively famous.
Paws, paws.
Paws, paws.
Like a dog paws.
Oh wow.
Guys, I'm applying the animal stars of tomorrow today.
Guys, I'm looking at some of these,
I'm looking at ACGS, All Creatures Great and Small,
and I'm looking at a fucking just list of dogs.
Sometimes when I wanna look at a cute animal,
I just like Google cute animal.
This is foolish, I'm realizing,
because now, guys, they rep the Aflac Duck.
Whoa, whoa, that's huge.
I think I am not a dog guy.
I like them.
I'm always like, it's always, when they're around,
I'm like, oh cool.
As long as they're not like jumping on my children
and getting them like super freaked out.
Yeah. I've never thought about them as a revenue stream Oh cool. As long as they're not like jumping on my children and getting them like super freaked out. Yep.
I've never thought about them as a revenue stream
or a way to diversify our own sort of portfolio
of entertainment products.
Travis, your dogs are all three of ours now.
Okay, wow.
You haven't done a good enough job
getting Lily and Buttercup out there.
Now to be fair, a big part of that Griffin is I had a website for Buttercupisavetogoodgirl.com
and I fully intended to set up a similar website
for Lily when she came into my home
and Justin did swoop that URL before I could get to it.
So that is kind of on Justin
that he didn't monetize that in an effective way.
Well, it looks like he's giving it back
because I just went to that URL and it monetize that in an effective way. It looks like he's giving it back,
because I just went to that URL
and it isn't just a picture of your dog.
But you could have trimmed,
if this is the headshot,
are you taking notes on the headshot for Buttercup?
On buttercupisavereagoodgirl.com
or lilyisavereagoodgirl.com?
Buttercup.
Okay.
She's relatable.
Lily is a very good girl.com redirects to my ex page.
So I do need to update that, I will say.
Oh, your page.exe?
Yeah, get that.
What are you, oh, and Juice is churning out
the good content over there.
Oh, yeah.
You look at that picture of Buttercup
in front of that Christmas tree,
and you tell me you're not buying something from that dog.
Yeah, no, that's a great picture. I'm about the header picture Travis. It's a little it's a little ability Griffin. It's gruff It's a little scruffy
I'm just saying you like you got it if you got to take your dog to the groomer before you take him in for
The headshots well, but her whole deal is that she's a scruffy. What is this picture communicating to me as a casting agent for dogs?
Oh this talks need some shit
Yeah, I don't know that that's necessarily gonna move product trap picture communicating to me as a casting agent for dogs. Oh, this dog's seeing some shit.
Yeah, I don't know that that's necessarily
gonna move product, Trav.
Okay.
But maybe you're gonna wanna cast her in a thing,
like she crosses the country to find me,
she finds a bear on the way. Oh, post-apocalyptic.
People don't want Homeward Bound anymore.
Aw, man. Yeah, we're over that.
We're over that.
And we're not doing post-apocalypse anymore. New Homeward Bound anymore. Aw man. Yeah, we're over that. We're over that. And we're not doing post-apocalypse anymore.
New Homeward Bound would be so fast.
It'd be like, they would just like get on an Amazon truck
and get there in like no time.
Yeah.
They would get there in an email.
Okay, well, I'll see what I can do, Griffin,
and maybe get some new headshots of my 14-year-old dog.
I'm already on it, Travis.
Your dog is all three of our dogs now. Okay, so it's a chair.
We'll handle, we'll pick up some of your light work here.
Well of course, we will need to have a talk
about profit sharing.
Yeah, I'm just saying that maybe what we wanna do
is to get like a puppy now.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And build, okay.
No, no, no, no, no, too much work.
Have you seen the social network movie?
Yeah, I live my life by it, Griffin, no, no, no, too much work. Have you seen the social network movie? Yeah.
I live my life by it, Griffin, are you kidding me?
This is Bible.
Yeah, okay, cool.
It's, okay.
I was gonna say, we're gonna Eduardo you pretty good.
I think out of your dog,
eventually once it really pops off.
Okay, that would be an honor.
Yeah.
Just to feel like I'm finally living a scene
from the social network would be amazing.
We'll let you do the costumes and stuff
like you're always asked to do, it's no problem.
Yeah.
It means the world to me.
You know what's even cooler?
Money zone.
["It's Better With You"]
Drop the the.
Travis sometimes has arguments with Rooney Mara in public places just to feel like he's in the social network movie
But I pay I good money for those cameos
It's like a cameo gotta be on my argue with it over my phone. I script it all out. She's busy, man
She is busy, but she makes the time and that's one of the things I appreciate about her. You know what I appreciate?
Having meals and not having to make them myself.
Hi, my name is Justin Macaron.
I'm a paid endorser for Factor.
If you want to, but I'm not just saying this
because they gave us money.
I'm saying this because they gave us some meals.
Yeah, but you wouldn't be saying it.
Hold on, but you wouldn't be saying it here in this moment
if they hadn't given you money.
You're also speaking in a tone that suggests
that the three of us were having a conversation
and then me and Travis suddenly froze
and you turned and walked toward the camera
in a single spotlight.
Has this ever happened to you?
Guys, we should be on this show to try something new
without having to build a whole proscenium around it.
So there I was having a conversation
with my brothers and my podcast.
And then- Grumble.
Oh, my tummy's.
This should be a space for experimentation.
It's both a lab and a factory.
Do you understand that?
Sure, sure, sure.
This is both a lab and a factory.
It's a lab, a factory, and a restaurant.
It's all three things.
We think it, we make it, you have it.
Factor will sell you food.
They're legally required to.
They have to sell you food.
No, if you want something that actually tastes good and you'll feel good about eating,
but it doesn't take a bajillion years to make.
That actually exists even though it doesn't seem possible.
It's factor.
These are no prep, no mess, never frozen meals,
and they're ready to eat in two minutes.
And they're genuinely really good.
It doesn't feel like you're eating some prefab thing.
It feels like a real meal that you'll really like.
How about blackened salmon?
How about it?
You guys ever heard of a little thing called Philip Mignon?
No. I haven't.
But it sounds delicious.
My dentist is Philip Mignon.
You don't have to shop, you don't have to prep,
you don't have to cook, you just have to enjoy the food.
Head on over to factormeals.com slash brother 50.
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Do you wanna monetize your dog?
Trav, I wanted to talk about,
you know what I'm doing right now
while we're supposed to be doing this ad?
I'm playing a game that you have put up on
buttercupisaveverygoodgirl.com.
There's interactive elements to this
on this powerful website that,
if I'm reading this correctly at the bottom of the page,
is powered by Squarespace.
That's correct.
You've put games into it,
and so no one's going to do the ad?
Is that what I'm hearing?
You guys are just gonna sit here in silence?
It's just one game.
I don't wanna get people too excited.
It's not an arcade.
It's a dog website.
Jews, you're gonna have to do it.
I'm trying to get the high score with this fucking blog.
But I just did my job.
You have to do part of the work too, or I'll tell Dad. I'm trying to get the high score with this fucking dog. But I just did my job. You have to do part of the work too, or I'll tell dad.
Oh, that's fair.
Okay, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform
for entrepreneurs who are looking to monetize their dog
and maybe also like their business or whatever.
And Squarespace thinks it easy to create a beautiful website,
engage with their audience,
and sell anything from products to content to time to dogs. All in one place, all in your terms.
Well, adopt.
You could, I don't know, rent out dogs.
I don't adopt, it's a, we knew each other before we met.
You know what I mean?
It's just like, refined.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
It's, how about find the other half of your heart?
Oh yeah.
So start a completely personalized website
with a new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint.
Choose from professionally curated layout
and styling options to build a unique online presence
from the ground up.
Now listen, I was gonna say,
if you wanna see what Squarespace can do,
go to buttercupisafereageatgoodgirl.com.
Don't. I do not think buttercupcupisafereagoodgirl.com. Don't.
I do not think Buttercupisafereagoodgirl.com is perhaps the best showcasing of what you're
able to do on Squarespace.
So maybe there's probably a lot of better examples because you can make, there's so
much you can do, including making checkout seamless for your customers, with powerful
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Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture?
Well, I have just the thing for you.
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Check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org
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Hey, this is Mike Cavalon.
It's Huatiwei.
And Sierra Cato.
The hosts of TV Chef Fantasy League.
Where we apply fantasy sports rules
to cooking competition shows.
We're not professional chefs or fantasy sports bros.
Just three comedians who love cooking shows and winning.
We'll cover Top Chef, Master Chef, Great British Bake Off,
whatever's in season, really.
Ooh, you know chefs love cooking whatever's in season.
We draft a team of chefs at the top of every series.
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You can even play along at home if you want.
Or you can just listen to us like a regular podcast about cooking shows.
That's cool too.
Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh
I've found too much Squad
I've found too much
Squad
Welcome to Munch Squad
It's a podcast within a podcast.
I'm so excited to see you.
Profiling the latest and brightest in brand eating.
Hi Count Donut, it's-
And I've finally able to return to you.
What happened, why were you away?
I was held captive by the evil Count Dracula.
Oh man. Sorry, John.
But as he has recently been slain,
I find myself free again.
Okay, did you say Thracula?
Crossover.
Dracula. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, so you listen to the podcast?
You listen to Taz?
I'm not familiar with what you mean.
We just did a very Dracula-inspired season.
We just wrapped it up.
I wanna say.
Where was it set?
So it was set in a fictional sort of spooky land
called Ongrave.
That's where I live.
So hold on a second.
Canonically.
So you're from, but we met you before we started doing
Task Versus Dracula, which is an actual play
storytelling. Correct, and I was free to roam
the land then.
And then once Count Dracula appeared, I was imprisoned.
And now that Count Dracula's slain,
I'm alive again.
Okay, huh.
Pretty sure you were on the show during...
Well, can I just say, you're rich.
He let me out.
You have a rich fiction, a canon,
that has to change and flow like the sea,
and I'm deeply impressed with you.
Yeah.
Time out. Yeah, sure. Time out. Okay. a change in flow like the sea, and I'm deeply impressed with that.
Time out, time out.
Yeah, sure.
Time out.
Okay.
So I didn't wanna do a bunch of Dracula guys
at the same time in our shows,
so I didn't do it while Garfield was doing Dracula,
except for maybe once.
I did it like one time, it felt weird.
So then I didn't do him again.
And so I tried to come up with a reason
that was like, K'nakl or whatever.
And so he lives in the podcast.
And then he lives in the podcast.
But it doesn't need, you don't need an explanation.
The real thing is like, I just didn't want to have
a bunch of Dracula guys around.
I get it. Okay.
It would be confusing for that.
Yeah, and time and-
Time in, yeah, time in.
So can I tell you what I've recently learned
about the world of Dullknut?
Well, I wanted to talk some more about how you were trapped
by Dracula in an engraved during the podcast.
Where did you live?
It'd be crazy if we ran into you.
Quick time out.
Okay, yeah, time out.
So guys, obviously that was my way of not having
to talk about that anymore.
So clearly I wanted to move on from that.
Trav, can we respect that before we get back into it?
Can we respect that and not do,
I know comedy rule of threes, it feels like-
I have so many questions.
This is actually exhausting.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so.
Yeah.
Time in.
Can't promise it.
Would you like to hear what's new in World of Dungeons?
I want that, yeah, I don't wanna hear any more about the, about it. Yeah, I'd promise that. Would you like to hear what's new in World of Donuts? I want that, yeah. I don't want to hear any more about the adventures.
Yeah, I'd love that.
Well, good news, because...
Crespy Kreme is back and they're teaming up with Dr. Pepper.
Okay, Dr. Pepper is kind of a mess.
For the first time...
Okay.
...to kick off football season...
Yeah, sure.
...with all new donuts.
I know we have donuts and Dr. Pepper around.
I'm thinking football.
I usually don't have those two things
remotely near each other.
They're very football.
Laces out and then donuts in.
That's what I say.
Count Laces out, donuts in. Count donuts. I said. Count donuts. Count donuts in.
Count donut.
You're a donut expert, obviously.
Thank you, Travis.
I have noticed the speed at which
places like Dunkin' and Krispy Kreme
are constantly introducing new iterations of donut.
That's not necessary, right?
Is that a thing that donut fans are constantly looking for the latest and greatest
in doughnut technology?
Well, obviously, our society is built to reward novelty.
And in these days of Instagram.
You said that crazy, man.
High impact visuals and big brands
are more impactful than quality
Which has led to a gradual downturn in the American fast food system.
Is this in the press release? Because if so, that's wild.
Huddle up and hurry up! Crispy Cream is partnering with Dr. Pepper for the first time ever.
Are you okay, countdown?
I just don't know who Dr. Pepper is. Oh, no, it's a drink.
He's a medical doctor.
It's a drink.
He's not a medical doctor.
Don't let Travis trick you.
You're not-
What does it taste like?
Okay, three, two, one.
Dr. Pepper. Spices.
Dr. Pepper and, did you say braces?
I said spices.
Okay, hold on.
What fucking spices does Dr. Pepper taste like, Trav?
Give me one spice.
I would say a little bit of cinnamon in there.
Maybe some dried raspberries.
It's like Mold Pepsi.
Imagine that.
Yeah.
I want to tell you the beginning Friday, August 23rd
for a limited time, crispy creampy Kreme shops around the...
So around the...
Donut lovers and football fans alike can enjoy the Krispy Kreme...
There is an X here.
Krispy Kreme X Dr. Pepper.
It means it's multiplied by Dr. Pepper.
Which is 23.
So they are teaming Pepper. Which is 23. So they are teeming exponential.
I love it.
It's a donut that delivers the refreshing experience
of the iconic 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper.
I've never eaten a refreshing donut.
I've never eaten a donut.
I've been like, ah.
Yeah.
It's challenge.
It's a challenge to think of.
Dr. Pepper, it's an original glazed donut piped with dr. Pepper
flavored frosting
Featuring a burgundy sprinkle blend and topped with a white chocolate dr. Pepper logo
Yama yama can I say let me eat all the logos you have daddy. I am
Salivating over here pile the logos into my mouth, cream man.
Slide as many as you can for as many different brands.
I feel like if I ate, this would be the thing
I would need to be refreshed from.
This is going to make me unfresh this donut,
and then I will need perhaps a cold and crisp Dr. Pepper
to get myself out of whatever this donut's gonna do to me.
There's a new buttercream goals donut.
An original glazed donut dipped in green icing
topped with colorful sprinkles
and a yellow buttercream flavored goal post.
Definitely one of the funnest things in football. with colorful sprinkles and a yellow buttercream flavored goalpost.
Definitely one of the funnest things in football.
I think you boys will agree,
we all love to see that giant forfeit.
That's not a new donut.
We can all agree to that, right?
That's a new donut.
I hyped a goalpost on it.
I also thought you said ghost.
So no, it's goals. And there's the last one, it's GOLLS.
And there's the last one is not, no, it's cream filled football donut.
It's an unglazed donut filled with white cream and dipped in delicious chocolate icing and decorated as a football.
You liked that it seems, or did that hurt you? I couldn't tell if you liked that or didn't like that. Two of America's most loved flavors are about to become one amazing game day sensation to make this the sweetest kickoff to football season ever.
This Dr. Pepper collection is a must add to your game day lineup.
Whoever you're cheering for says Dave Skinner, the global chief brand officer for Krispy Kreme.
So as I understand it, this Krispy Kreme,
Dr. Pepper X crossover event is one donut
that is entirely Dr. Pepper themed.
And then a couple football ones.
And then two donuts, one that is piped
to kinda look like a football,
and one donut where they've piped a goal post on it.
Yes, that's right.
Why not just the one donut, you could have just done.
Well, here's the problem with that.
Look at the Starling Goalpost donut.
They've made little hundreds and thousands out of the people.
Oh, like they're people.
Yeah, like there's people with the hundreds and thousands.
It's like they're people with numperia.
It's adorable.
And I love the crunch.
If I were allowed to eat them, I'd love the crunch.
You're not allowed to eat them?
Because it's only blood.
No, he can't eat blood.
Yeah.
In that image.
Don't forget.
Well, don't say aloud.
Do you have like a Lord vampire that's like,
no, no, no, man.
I just don't like, are you allowed to eat the batteries?
Like, yes, you can.
When you were kept captive by Dracula in the engrave,
would he not let you eat donuts?
Was that the problem?
You promised.
You said outside of the jokes, outside of the jokes,
we paused the jokes.
You promised.
Said you wouldn't. But it came up naturally. paused the jokes. You promised. Said you wouldn't.
But it came up naturally.
You said, Trav, you said you wouldn't.
But I felt like it came up organically.
I wasn't trying to derail, I was trying to engage.
I wanted to be interesting by showing intros, Justin.
No, you know what?
That's the end of the podcast.
Aw, man.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Look, I'm putting my collar down.
No more jokes.
Okay.
I had two more jokes written about that.
Aw, can you do one of them?
I guess. Here it comes.
Right now, don't wait.
Just shoot it, don't wait.
I guess.
Shoot it, don't wait.
What?
Straight from the hip.
Griffin, I have never,
I have never done a joke under pressure
in my entire fucking life.
If William Tell was gonna shoot an apple off my kid's head
if I didn't tell him a joke right then,
I hope they know how to duck,
cause I can't do a joke for you.
I was, I have characters who do do jokes.
Do do. I'm not the jokes guy.
One of my cavalcade.
One of your Jeff Dunham shelves of mine creations.
Where is that?
When am I gonna get that,
the head exploding and like all the characters
coming out of the guy's head.
I need that.
Where is that imagery?
Thank you so much for listening to our podcast.
There wasn't anything else to that press release.
So, yeah.
If I've learned anything about this podcast,
if we say that we have jokes we're not doing,
it becomes the only thing that our audience cares about.
This would be the new Gucci tapes, I think,
if we really didn't clarify.
There's no more jokes today.
We are plum out.
I really wanna eat these donuts.
There is something I do wanna clarify.
What, Tra?
Next week, September 6th and 7th,
we're gonna be in Portland, Oregon,
doing My Brother, My Brother and Me,
and Adventure Zone, and Rose City Comic Con,
so make sure you get your tickets for that.
Don't miss out.
If you have questions that you wanna answer
or wish to fungal or that you want read out loud,
you can email it to mbmbam at maximumfund.org
and put the city that you'll be at the show
in the subject line.
And we're also going to coming up September 21st and 22nd,
we're gonna be in Orlando and Atlanta respectively.
And also coming up soon, we're gonna be in Denver,
Phoenix, Indianapolis, and Milwaukee.
So go to bit.ly slash McRoy Tours for tickets
and more information.
Hey, we have a run to go back to school sale,
if you can believe it, over at McRoyMerge.com.
Now, through the end of September,
you can get 20% off fanny packs and backpacks,
as well as Taz notebooks.
So, I mean, show off and show out at your school,
and let people know that you listen to a podcast.
If you find yourself with some free time
on Tuesday at noon Eastern, anytime really with the power of streaming head on over to the McElroy family clubhouse at the McElroy family YouTube channel.
It's a live show. This last week's was utterly unhinged and you never know how wild it will get.
It's both like a show that we do and like a gaming stream that we do.
It's everything to us.
It's everything.
Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song,
My Life Is Better With You.
It is my favorite song.
And when I think about it, I feel nourished.
Can we do the wish to fungalore?
Yeah, Justin, do you want to read this one?
Shhh.
I wish I would stop singing yabba dabba doo.
Do you want to try it again in a Fred Flintstone voice?
I wish I would stop saying yabba dabba doo.
I make a whole thing could be in the Fred Flintstone voice. It's really good. I wish I would stop saying yabba dabba doo!
Woo hoo!
Ha ha ha ha!
Justin Macarons.
Justin Macarons.
Fred, you gotta get that hernia checked out.
Yabba dabba doo!
You're just chastening yabba dabba doo!
I'm Griffin Macarons.
Just say your name, set us free.
It's been my brother, my brother.
Me kiss your dad square on the lips.
It's better with you.
My life, ah, ah, ah, ah.
It's better, it's better with you.
It's better with you.
My life, ah, ah, ah, ah.
It's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you.
This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with two.
My life, ah, it's better with you.