My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 726: Hot Dog Think Appointment

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Thank you for listening to this podcast in the way that it was meant to be consumed. We put so much effort into making these dogs look picture-perfect, gluing puzzles together, and figuring out Count ...Donut’s lore that it’s truly only experienced in this exact correct way to listen to podcasts. Suggested talking points: Every Island Gets You Old, It Sounds Like You're Wearing Glasses, Sword's Too Big, No One's Doing Homeward Bound, Geese People, Mulled PepsiWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach
Starting point is 00:00:39 My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Good morning, Trap Nation. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
Starting point is 00:01:26 News, sounds, it's time for a Trap Watch. Trap. That segment has been on ice for a while. I don't know if you guys have noticed that. Collecting dust over there. It is also another segment on the whole genre of trap music. Nor, we do not know what Fetty Wap is up to today.
Starting point is 00:02:00 This is also not the one where we talk about the Von Trapp family and just like their whole history and stuff like that. No, Justin, specifically I want to tell you and perhaps any listeners who aren't aware about the concept of the movie, Trapp. Oh, I'm so excited to talk about Trapp. Did you see Trapp? And now I know it's an M. Night Shyamalan picture.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Did you guys see Trapp? Hey, you seen Trapp? No. I saw the preview, Griffin, and that was all I needed to see. Yeah, same for me. I like the preview was Kick Assas. I was too busy to see a Deadpool twice in the theaters.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Justin, imagine you're a father, right Justin? Okay, so we've all been in this position. You have your kid begging you to take you to the concert of an incredibly popular musician, perhaps a Taylor Swift level musician. Or a Danny Goh for, in our case. Correct. So, Justin, you, like, arm and a leg, buy these tickets. You're taking your, I think, tween daughter
Starting point is 00:02:56 to go see Taylor Swift. Yeah. And you're going to buy some merch for the show, of course. While there, the merch salesperson reveals to you that this whole concert is in fact a sting operation. It's a sting operation, a trap, if you will, to catch the most notorious serial killer alive working. The concert's a trap?
Starting point is 00:03:18 The whole concert's a trap. They put a big cage over the whole concert. Yeah, they figured out the serial killer's gonna be there. Who's the band? It's Taylor Swift, right? But it's Taylor Swift, but also M. Night Shyamalan's daughter. It's two, it's both things. Okay, got it.
Starting point is 00:03:36 And so then the salesperson is like, yeah, so everybody's gonna get checked leaving to see if they're a serial killer. Yeah, they have a little gun that they point at you, and if it goes boop, it means you're the serial killer. And so you're like, ah, cool, man, but then as you're walking away, Justin, we see that you are very nervous
Starting point is 00:03:53 because you are in fact the serial killer and the star of this movie, Josh Hartnett. That's right, Shyamalan Twist, the main character. It's in the trailer, huge for me, because I'm always, I see these movies and I'm like, this the beach that gets you old. And I'm like, fuck, I wish I knew what the twist was with the beach that get you old.
Starting point is 00:04:12 But the trailer didn't tell me, and I certainly didn't go see Old in theaters. This one, Juice? They put the thing right in the GD trailer, which was awesome. I love having that twist right up front. So I didn't see Island Make You Old. Yeah. I didn't see Island Make You Old. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:25 I didn't see- Not Island, but up, up, up, up, up, up, up. It's not a whole island that makes you old. This is something that people get confused. It's just one side. It's the one edge sort of perimeter of one landmass. If the whole island got you old, that movie would be so shitty.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I also think he did. I've never seen the movie that actually makes a lot more sense because I thought it was just a Movie about watching people get old. Yeah check this out every island is an island that get you old. Yeah, that's true That's a good point. It's like M. Night Shyamalan watched boyhood and said I'm just gonna film somebody for a hundred years He said boring. Not enough. I saw I saw grandparents are wildin. Yeah thatparents Are Wildin', Yeah. That one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:06 The visit, Grandparents Are Wildin' Out. Oh, yes, yes. I saw, I saw, Did you see Helevator? Helevator was good. I saw, I saw Weak Man versus Bruce Willis. Uh-huh. That was, and-
Starting point is 00:05:19 Did you see Weak Man versus Bruce Willis, two and three? I saw the whole franchise. Okay. Okay. So how do you feel about seeing Oops, My Dad's a Serial Killer? Yeah, Travis, actually this one, we can't change the title of. Trap is the best fucking, Trap.
Starting point is 00:05:33 The best fucking title of a movie, certainly this year. A lot of movies think we have to put a lot of words in here. Avatar, The Way of Water. It's like, you've told me so much about that film, and now I don't wanna see it. Trap! Trap! I gotta see Trap. Let me get one ticket for Trap.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Trap's kinda nice too, because if you don't like it, then at the end they get to see it like, well, I guess you were, the trap's on you. Yeah. Like, we said it was a trap, and you got trapped. We will be scanning everybody who leaves the theater to see if they're a serial killer. I'm gonna see trap.
Starting point is 00:06:08 The trap is to catch you. Yeah. I'm gonna watch trap. I might wait 10 days for it to appear on my home television set. On your Roku. Which is so fucking kind. The kindness that, let's say a Borderlands
Starting point is 00:06:21 has provided me, a gamer who loves movies, to say, the movie just came out, but we're gonna go ahead and let you watch it on your home television set, is so fucking choice, and I do appreciate that. I love the Roku because the Roku with its many free options. I love, because every once in a while,
Starting point is 00:06:42 Roku will be like, here's a movie you can watch for free, but you could tell no algorithm has even peeked at it No, just fired out of a t-shirt can at you like hey Remember how Steve Martin did a serenade to Bergerac thing called Roxanne? Jesus Christ. Yeah, you like that It's just the garbage can of DVDs They have in every electronic section in every Walmart of like, I don't know, man, we got a dog's purpose. Is that what you want?
Starting point is 00:07:10 It's $3 and it's got so many bonus features. Do you guys remember when we went and saw the Dungeons and Dragons movie at the start of it, like the cast is sitting there, like just straight up, looking straight into the camera saying like, thanks for coming to see a movie theater the way a movie's supposed to be seen. I think that when movies come out simultaneously
Starting point is 00:07:28 to streaming and theaters, they should also put one at the beginning of the stream and it was like, we're so fucking disappointed in you man. Just have Kevin Hart. How could you? You could have seen this movie the way it was meant to be seen. Yeah. Now you're watching on your Nokia flip phone.
Starting point is 00:07:44 I don't actually remember that from the Dungeons and Dragons movie, Travis, because Justin let me hit his weed pin right before the movie started. And then the first 20 minutes of that movie for me were a straight panic attack. And also the most I've ever enjoyed a movie, but having the whole cast of the movie.
Starting point is 00:07:58 At the same time, yeah. The whole cast of the movie, Chris Pine, arms folded, looking at me like, are you fucked up right now, Griffin? That was more than I could- Are you enjoying this movie the way it's supposed to be seen, or are you fucked up? That was more than I could, Hugh Grant looking at me with peak judgment was not a pleasant experience.
Starting point is 00:08:13 It's a trap. It was a trap, that one was a trap. Now, Griffin, are you aware that you're still wearing the Hello My Name is Griffin name tag? Yeah, I went to my son's preschool, orient, daycare orientation, and I did not realize until we started recording that I was still wearing the name tag,
Starting point is 00:08:31 but some people have trouble figuring us out and knowing which ones we are, and I thought maybe it would be helpful. Maybe we should do an audio name tag where just in the middle of every sentence, Travis, we're saying we should say like an audio name tag where just in the middle of every sentence, Travis, we're saying we should say like our names in there. Yep, yeah. I mean, we all have beards and glasses now.
Starting point is 00:08:51 And so like, it's getting harder and harder for people to tell us apart. So I think what would be good is if maybe we wore big monogrammed shirts, like we were on Yo Gabba Gabba or something like that, bright jewel tones. You didn't say your name in there at all, Griffin. I did it. I'm not wearing glasses.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Yeah, but it sounds like you are to the listeners. Sometimes you put your gunars on, juice, your gamer glasses that block out all those blue beams. But not now as you're saying this and looking at me, you know? But you sound like someone who would wear glasses. You sound and look like someone who should wear glasses. Yeah, the brain fills in the glasses, like when you look at a thing and it's like,
Starting point is 00:09:26 does it look like this picture's moving? It's just the way the shapes are. When I look at you, Justin, the shapes of you make me see glasses. Make me think glasses. Are you wearing your Gunnar contacts right now, Juice? Because if you're gaming without protection. I am not a paid endorser of the Gunnar brand,
Starting point is 00:09:42 so I'm not gonna indulge in this. You seem like you would be. Yeah, you seem like they're target demos. I'm not a paid endorser of the Gunner brand, so I'm not gonna indulge in this. You seem like you would be. Yeah, you seem like they're target demos. A lot of assumptions. Am I, is it wrong assumptions though? Can you believe they're making a new Crow movie? Can you believe it?
Starting point is 00:09:58 Well, he comes right from the dead, so yeah. I saw a poster for that, and I looked around for teens to see if teens were like, hey, the crow. Finally, my crow. Were they wanting a crow? I just need a crow from my generation. This ain't your granddaddy's crow. If memory serves when crow came out, also no one was excited about crow
Starting point is 00:10:20 because they didn't know how badass crow was gonna be. But it seems like that might be the case now. I think Crow's gonna get a lot of buzz and a lot of build, and I don't think it's gonna come to my home TV set for two months. I think we should be, are you saying that we should get out early and be staunchly pro-Crow? Because we're gonna be on the right side of history.
Starting point is 00:10:42 I would wanna do some Googling, some cursory Googling of some of the big names attached to the feature film, I think. Some of the big nations. Have you seen the new Crow starring and directed by Mel Gibson? The McElroys are all the fuck about it. He's got a new one. He's got a new one out.
Starting point is 00:11:00 I saw this. Of course he does. A couple times before And they don't they don't say Mel Gibson they say the director of hacksaw Ridge which Do you mean Braveheart yeah the guy from the Patriot I Have just put the I have this theory in films, specifically, that once the 1989 Tim Burton Batman came out, that everybody was like, okay, we gotta make something like this. What have you guys got?
Starting point is 00:11:38 And that's how we ended up with like The Phantom, and we ended up with like Dick Tracy and anything. And The Crow came out in 1994. So it's possible that somebody pitched The Crow and we ended up with Dick Tracy and anything. And the crow came out in 1994. So it's possible that somebody pitched the crow as like, it's like Batman. You guys like Batman? This is like Batman.
Starting point is 00:11:52 You guys like Batman? Dark City's only, Dark City's coming up soon. You know that. You know we're about to get Darker City coming up real soon. The shadow is another, thank Tim Burton's Batman for the Shadow. And it's been like two years,
Starting point is 00:12:07 I think we're ready for more Watchmen, another Watchmen. Let's do Watchmen again. Let's try Watchmen. Maybe this time we'll figure it out. I mean, the TV show figured it out pretty fucking definitively. Hey, let's do questions instead of talking about comic book movies.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Thank you. I work at a game store, and my boss randomly decided to give me a Final Fantasy VII puzzle. He said his wife got it and wasn't doing anything with it, so I decided to take it. One problem though, the puzzle was already finished. Glued together and everything.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Glued together and everything, that's not a normal part of it. Glued together and everything. It's been sitting on my coffee table for a few weeks and I don't know what to do with it. Do I risk breaking it apart and try solving it myself? Do I frame it and hang it up, suffering for the guilt of displaying an accomplishment
Starting point is 00:12:55 that wasn't mine? Do I hide it? What do I do? That's from Puzzle Trouble in Los Angeles and that's one of the wilder things I've ever heard. Yeah. Who did his wife get it from? I, oh, I made the assumption that the wife
Starting point is 00:13:10 put the puzzle together. His wife got it and wasn't doing anything with it. Be careful, because my brain is going in a couple different directions, because when I first heard and wasn't doing anything with it, I almost chimed in like, what else are you gonna do with a puzzle? Unless,
Starting point is 00:13:29 Unless, Unless, This, like this object is what she obtained. She obtained a finished puzzle for Final Fantasy VII, Yeah. And her husband's like, why did you get that? And she's like, I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I have a problem. Do you know anybody that has heard of Final Fantasy? I don't even know this spiky hair guy's deal. I don't know what's up with Goku with balls for shoulders. I don't know his story. That sword's too big, right? That sword's too big. I'm no scientist, that sword's too big.
Starting point is 00:13:58 The fatigue alone. It is possible that the wife got it and didn't do anything with it because she got a completed puzzle that had been glued together. And she suffered the same exact conundrum that you now find yourself in. She had to pass it off like Dering
Starting point is 00:14:14 in order to escape its sort of mind trap that it had put her in. There are sometimes, isn't there like, you can get special like uncut sheets of playing cards and like, is this a way that, like, puzzles come sometimes? It's like, oh, they never cut this one apart. Pre-finished, pre-finished, pre-glue-ed? Well, because listen, tired,
Starting point is 00:14:35 puzzles you have to put together. Wired, puzzles you have to take apart. Well, yeah, but the glue is what sets it off for me. They have essentially given you a wrinkly picture at that point, a wrinkly print, a wrinkly photograph. A cracked, yeah. A cracked and wrinkled and weathered photograph. Have you guys ever saved a puzzle?
Starting point is 00:14:57 No way. No way, right? No how? I've saved a puzzle to the extent that one time me and Rachel did during COVID a like 750 or 1000 piece puzzle that was the cover of the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which is mostly identical looking flowers.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Great job, Beatles. Thanks for setting us up for that. We saved it. I don't think they have that in mind, Griffin, when they designed the cover for the album. I don't think that anybody was like, do we need to worry about how hard this is gonna be as a jigsaw puzzle later?
Starting point is 00:15:28 Yeah. The White Album was, I would imagine, would also be a tough puzzle to solve. But we had like momentum for like two nights and we started to build the edges. And then we were like, God, I do not wanna keep doing this, but I also don't, the sunk cost fallacy hits so hard
Starting point is 00:15:44 that I saved, we saved a puzzle for like three months until we finally finished it, and then immediately scooped it into a garbage can. I think that if I put together like some ridiculous, like 5,000 piece big puzzle of a cool picture, I might be tempted to like shellac that bad boy. You think so?
Starting point is 00:16:05 Maybe, maybe. But the same is like, I feel the same about Legos. And then what? And then what? Display it. And then what? This my, hey guys. The next thing is.
Starting point is 00:16:16 This my puzzle. Griffin and Travis, Justin, our brothers. And so Travis has Griffin and Justin over. And then what do Griffin and Justin say about the puzzle, Trav? I mean, if we're just taking- You say, why did you save it? And I said, it just seemed like a waste to take it apart,
Starting point is 00:16:30 I guess. I don't know, man. Why do we save anything? Sometimes you gotta just touch a thing and see if it gives you joy. And I touch this puzzle and it gives me joy. But then I would touch it and say like, nope. Nothing, get rid of it.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Well, then I would ask you to throw it away from me when I wasn't looking, cause I didn't have the strength to do it. Well then I would ask you to throw it away from me when I wasn't looking, cause I didn't have the strength to do it. And then I would go to work, and I would find the one guy that knows about that puzzle, and I would say, do I have some art for you? Right. Would you like a poster?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Would you like a shitty poster? Anyone who does puzzles when LEGOos is available to you, that's wild, I don't understand that. Oh, don't get into that. That's just like, I can see it on TikTok. I'm so tired of this kind of engagement, Griffin. You can't play with a finished puzzle. Sometimes you finish building the Legos and it's like,
Starting point is 00:17:17 and now I have a Millennium Falcon toy. I have a big spaceship toy now. You finish a puzzle and it's like, all right, time to just look at it. Hey kids, come around, look at the puzzle. Meanwhile, I'm over here and I'm like, hey kids, it's the Millennium Falcon. Daddy built that.
Starting point is 00:17:32 He solved that puzzle with his mind. Sure, there was a book that told me exactly where every piece is supposed to go. But now we have a toy. You could do a little bit, what if you put together Starry Night, like a Starry Night puzzle, and then you finished it and showed people and you're like,
Starting point is 00:17:47 yeah, this is like a collab between me and Van Gogh. We made this together, like he kind of set it up and I knocked it down. This is a bonus head spike for me and Van Gogh. Oh, and you're tearing the pieces off and sticking on Sonic the Hedgehog Lego set to it. You've improved the yard dramatically. Starry Night's so muchhog Lego set to it. You've improved the art dramatically, Starry Night's so much better with Sonic in it.
Starting point is 00:18:08 And I do think that if Van Gogh had lived for another, however many hundred years, and seen Sonic the Hedgehog, he would've been like, this kicks ass, I've gotta get this dude in some of my paintings. When we were kids, we used to be able to play with Legos, like a big box of Legos, then you put Legos together and make stuff. I tell you, man, sometimes I feel bad
Starting point is 00:18:28 because my kids don't do that much, but you can't even do anything with Lego pieces these days because they're all a specific piece of intellectual property. When you're gonna glue together, this is Darth Maul's right leg and a milkshake from the Archies and- Yeah, Juice, that's kinda exactly how it goes down here. Darth Maul's right leg, and Milkshake from the Archies, and now the truck.
Starting point is 00:18:45 That's kinda exactly how it goes down here. It's nonstop Madcap Super Smash Brothers, I feel like, anytime we play with Legos. Hey, do y'all wanna go to the Wizard? Yeah. I'd love to. All right, this one has been sent in by a lot of people, and I haven't brought it because it's sort of, I don't know, it feels a little bit outside my wheelhouse.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I like to sort of be able to add my own skewed view on stuff. Yeah, of course. But it is, it's how to get your dog into modeling. Oh, thank you. Simple strategies to get your pooch noticed by pet brands and talent agencies. Your dog already has a starring role in your life, but what if your furry friend had a starring role
Starting point is 00:19:28 on screen too? The world of dog modeling is vast and varied, and commercial directors and product marketers are always looking for the next billboard-worthy pup, but where to begin? Does it clarify Griffin in there, like what kind of, I assume pet modeling. No, I mean, what?
Starting point is 00:19:44 Like there's not like, my dog's not gonna be modeling watches or I mean, I, what? Like there's not like, my dog's not gonna be modeling watches or perfumes or something, right? Like. Modeling perfumes. Yeah, you know, when you have a perfume ad and the dog's posing there and you know. That would be cool.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah, no, I mean, usually a perfume ad is usually just like a wrist near a neck with like a silk. A lot of it's Johnny Depp for some reason. I see Johnny Depp on there a lot. I mean, he's gotta be a fragrant individual. Talk about a dog. I think- Talk about an old dog, right?
Starting point is 00:20:17 Probably no watches on this one. Yeah. On this dog. I think it's talking about, you know, ads for foods for Purina or what have you. Heartworm. I mean, if your dog's kind of- Whoa, did we just say heartworm at the exact same moment?
Starting point is 00:20:29 We did. That's good. Your dog has to be a little bit busted for the heartworm medicine ads, though, I think. Yeah. You never see like a gorgeous, healthsome dog out there for heartworms. It's always like a little scruffy,
Starting point is 00:20:41 like looks good, sort of like older, good looking dog. But one bad break is gonna set on the wrong pet. I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys get these, but all around Cincinnati, there's like, billboards encouraging you to like spay and neuter your pets. And it'll be like pictures of a cat wearing sunglasses. I guess the implication being like, this cat fucks all of our family.
Starting point is 00:21:06 This cat's gonna fuck our cat and make more cats and you're not ready for that. You gotta fix this cat. This rowdy cat's got bad seed. He's gonna make some real stinker of a litter of kittens for you. You don't want any part of this. I don't know what the cast call looks like for that cat,
Starting point is 00:21:22 where like a cat comes in like, no, too chaste. No, that cat, that cat's pure part. We know. No. Oh, that's a dirty dog right there, that cat. Yeah, that cat, that cat gets around. Says if you see this, if you see MC Scat Cat come around, just make sure your cat wears protection
Starting point is 00:21:43 because you do not want, you do not want to multiply. Okay, so what are we talking about? Dog modeling. Determine your dog's strengths, like performing tricks or looking cute, and market them accordingly. The tricks thing, I don't think is necessary. No. I've never seen a commercial or a dog movie
Starting point is 00:21:59 where they're like, I guess Air Bud was like a pretty acrobatic dog. Yeah, but that wasn't a model, that was a performance. That was a, like that dog was acting. I think that this article is maybe blending these two sort of conceits. Which is kind of, maybe it's biting off a little bit more than it can chew.
Starting point is 00:22:17 The scope has expanded. The scope has expanded a little bit too much. Okay, so let's- Do they talk about relatability in there? Because like, yeah, I like a beautiful dog, that's great. But I like a dog that I see and I'm like, mm, that dog and I have both been through life. We've both experienced some things.
Starting point is 00:22:32 This dog, this dog me is like a comment I see a lot on Instagram. So, identify your dog's strengths. Is your dog a capable athlete? Can they follow commands like a pro? Maybe they're just great AQT. These are all desirable qualities in a dog model and will lend themselves to different kinds of modeling have a good think about what? Makes your dog model material in which qualities you can emphasize when marketing them
Starting point is 00:22:53 Have a good think about it. Oh man. I'd love to come hang, but I'm actually busy tonight. Yeah, yeah tonight I am having a good think about what makes my dog hot not right now Kathy I'm thinking about what makes my dog hot I told you I'd Kathy. I'm thinking about what makes my dog hot. I told you I'd be in here for 15 minutes thinking about our hot dog. Every day you have it in the calendar. I put it in the Google calendar every day. Have a think.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Have a think. Why tell me to put my stuff on the Google calendar if you're not gonna look at it, Kathy? Or you at least respect it. I didn't tell you to come here when you had your doctor's appointment on there, so why do you come when I'm having to think about what makes our dog a good dog model? This is for everybody!
Starting point is 00:23:31 This is for all of us if I can figure this out! Do you think a list of our dog's sexiest attributes is just gonna come to me in a dream, Kathy? It takes work! What's hard about this, though, is by analyzing your dog for its most sexy and desirable traits, you are by definition going to discover all the things about your dog that are maybe not so appealing,
Starting point is 00:23:52 that maybe never bothered you before, but then all of a sudden you're like the left jowl, the right jowl. Uneven. I don't like it. You're setting beauty standards. I'm saying that like, Buttercup has a Benji-esque quality that you would say like, I trust that dog. That dog's gonna get it for you.
Starting point is 00:24:09 And then Lily is a beautiful idiot that you'd be like, oh, you goober, right? Both of those things I think are marketable. Yeah. Lily would be good in a commercial. I don't think it has to be societal standards, Justin, of what makes a dog sexy and beautiful. Yeah, but even if you discover that you're,
Starting point is 00:24:26 but in the process of discovering that, you discover what they're not, right? Like you may have to realize like, my Dalmatian is not very charismatic. Now that is heartbreaking. When you learn that, they don't have the it factor. That is heartbreaking. Like you look at it and you're like,
Starting point is 00:24:42 it's just not a spark. Yeah. There should be a dog, there should look at him, you're like, it's just not a spark. Yeah. There should be a dog, there should be a dog that maybe they like bring to the mall one Saturday a month. And it's just like a fucking, like, he's got a cigar and a little laptop computer who could just be like, next.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Sorry kids, you don't got it. Just like can break. Nothing behind the eyes. Nothing behind the eyes. Nothing behind the eyes. I've seen a lot of dogs. Turn around for me. Nope. Like just breaking your dog's heart
Starting point is 00:25:11 right in front of the Macy's one Saturday a month. Do you think they do have other dogs in the casting where they're like, I don't know, man, but I don't get it, but Rusty's going apeshit. Like a focus test? A focus test. Like an instant like Rusty's been trying to rip off his leash since they walked in. We are.
Starting point is 00:25:30 This is our dog. Yeah. And so listen, owners aren't going to click with this dog, but the dogs are going to go shit about like the dogs are going to crave this food because that's the Blippi of dogs. Yeah. I don't get it, but they love it. I don't think of Blippi as a natural model. I don't think I've ever seen anything Blippi has worn
Starting point is 00:25:55 or endorsed. I guess what I'm saying- I've been like, if he's into it, I gotta get this. You're reaffirming Justin's point. I guess what I'm saying, Griffith, is Blippi is something that kids like that adults don't get. And this dog in our joke was something that dogs like that their owners don't get.
Starting point is 00:26:11 So that was the parallel that I was drawing. Not that Blippi is the standard. Not that Blippi is the standard of physical attractiveness or like a kind of a professional model. Okay, I understand the joke model. Is that clear? Okay, I understand the joke now. I understand the joke now, and I thank you both for being so patient with me.
Starting point is 00:26:29 You're so welcome, Griffin. While you explain it. I like to think that we can't all be superheroes like the Crow, but we can be superheroes in our day-to-day life, and I think that's what the Crow would want us to do if he was watching us right now. Thank you, Crow.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Our Crow is an awesome Crow. I wanna send you guys maybe the best picture I've ever seen on WikiHow, and we're gonna need to figure out how we can share this with our audience. The next subheader is, test your dog's temperament in a modeling setting. This is the photo that has accompanied this subheader.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I've texted it to you. Oh, to text. Oh, it's a text. Oh, boy. You have so many ways of sending me pictures. Wow, that's really good. Can we describe the image, please? Well, that's a, that's a- Do you know the kind of dog
Starting point is 00:27:16 it's supposed to kind of be, Travis? Looks like a terrier of some sort. Yeah, it looks kinda like a Bichon Fries. Yeah. It looks like a Bichon Fries. It's white and it's got four little cowboy boots on and a little cowboy hat. And he looks so stoked to be there.
Starting point is 00:27:31 It's a really powerful dog. Now they put so much work though into the dog and dog accessories that then when it came time to in any way indicate what environment he was in, they said, oh, I'm not gonna do that. Here's what I can say. They found a picture of a dog they could trace,
Starting point is 00:27:47 they found a picture of a hat they could trace, they couldn't find pictures of boots on a dog they could trace. So that is, it gets pretty wet and wild in there. And then it looks like a concrete wall and like a brown concrete floor. Yeah, you would, I would not, this does not seem like a reputable casting situation. No, not at all.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Not at all. You have to be wise about that shit. Even if your furry best friend has the goods, they also need to deliver. Meaning they need to be friendly and even keeled around strangers and other dogs and sit patiently for a camera. They also need to consistently perform commands without much fuss in a variety of settings. Can you have a dog sexy enough that it can be a piece of shit in the room? And the casting director's like, I'm not looking forward. This is my dog, Jared Leto.
Starting point is 00:28:35 I'm not looking forward to working with dog Jared Leto, but he's so fucking hot. Did you see how hot that dog was? To be fair though, it's way more acceptable when dog Jared Leto leaves dead animals around from the other actors. Did you see how hot that dog was? And to be fair though, it's way more acceptable when dog Jared Leto leaves dead animals around from the other actors. That is expected of dog Jared Leto.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Makes a lot more sense. Is it possible that Jared Leto is just a tall dog in a- Why haven't I left? Or whatever the version of a dog, chat. Jared Leto is a tall, bipedal dog, and he doesn't know why people get so mad about his antics. This is a gift that he has gotten for anyone else in that movie, man, shit.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Will Smith? He probably didn't bring Will Smith dead birds. Morbius is half man, half dog, half bat, all hero. Yeah. All hit maker. Train your dog in basic obedience commands. I'm gonna skip this because it's boring. Hey, building a portfolio and social media presence.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Take professional headshots of your dog. Just like a human model, dog models need their own portfolio to show to agencies and directors, and a portfolio begins with a headshot. The dogs probably aren't showing the portfolios though, huh? No, probably. But do be careful about letting your dogs have access to social media because if eventually
Starting point is 00:29:51 they do get famous, people are gonna start scrubbing through like their old tweets and stuff, looking for anything. And I will also say this. It's gotta be a tough road to hoe because we've been doing this show about as long as a dog can live. And so if we-
Starting point is 00:30:11 We're still, and we're still honestly. We're crushing, we're crushing. Well, yeah. We're crushing, we're crushing. We're crushing it, but we're still fighting for every scrap, you know what I mean? Like we have to- What I'm saying, and the level we are is still lower
Starting point is 00:30:28 than really famous dogs, you know what I mean? Oh my God, Travis, it's adorable that you think we're even approaching the level of very famous dogs. Did you see Deadpool? That's got a very famous dog. We'll never be Deadpool dogs. No fucking way. That's aspirational for us.
Starting point is 00:30:44 That's aspirational, absolutely. That's aspirational, absolutely. Have you guys discovered, while looking for things on the Cameo Service, how many pets there are? Yeah, there's a lot. That's a good, if you wanna build your brand, you could just put your duck on there, and for $8, your duck will stand in front
Starting point is 00:31:01 of a sign of your name or whatever. That's a great way to start getting the word out. Yeah. Because then friends show friends like, hey, this duck stood in front of a name, a sign of your name or whatever. That's a great way to start getting the word out. Because then friends show friends like, hey, this duck stood in front of a name, a sign with my name on it. And that's gonna blow it up. My point is, we've been doing this show for 14 years and change, and we have built ourselves an empire
Starting point is 00:31:19 on hard bedrock. When you start a cat or dog social media website, you are building your house on sand to put the Bible. That's all I'm saying. Best case scenario, you're not going to get two decades. You're not gonna vest. Do you know what I mean? Like it's, you're not gonna have your IPO probably
Starting point is 00:31:40 in that window of time. But the other thing I'll say is that if one of us kicks at 10 a.m., you can't have another one of us Instacarted to the house by 2 p.m. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying, boy. Like, are you saying?
Starting point is 00:31:54 Are you saying you can Instacart a nude? Like, oh man, this one stopped. Flip, tip tip tip tip tip tip tip. Oh shit, PetSmart just delivers dogs, amazing. I am saying, Griffin, that if you have a famous Dalmatian and that Dalmatian beeps it, it would be way easier to replace that Dalmatian than to replace me in a way that people wouldn't be like,
Starting point is 00:32:16 that's not Travis. Okay, now hold on, because when you say replace, are you suggesting that you just do an Indiana Jones dog swap without mentioning like- If I have a successful cameo business going where people are buying cameos from my duck to stand in front of their name, and I've got a backup of orders,
Starting point is 00:32:34 and that duck beefed it. Yeah. Ahhhhhhh! Duck is easy, duck is easy, all ducks look pretty much, you can get an identical looking duck, I feel like dogs people- Leaf Step found a lot of toes in the past girl with stupid comments and everything Do you really want to upset duck duck friends?
Starting point is 00:32:51 I love ducks. I think ducks are great. They're not they're not they're better than geese by a huge factor People now geese people. Yeah I do not think we could get them on Instacart But I bet we could swap people say that I look like a lot of dudes. So if I beefed, I bet you guys could get someone in here. It would not take- That's why I didn't say you, Griffin. I specifically did say myself.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Yeah, no, you're one of a kind. Thank you. So let's, I look like a lot of the characters in Arthur, which is heartbreaking to me. Now is that your own judgment or have you been told that? I've been told that by, I've seen multiple screenshots of the characters from the show Arthur, of people saying literally just like, this you,
Starting point is 00:33:36 and me saying like, that hurts. It hurts because it's true. And when I say Arthur, I mean the cartoon about the aardvark and not like the British man who's like, gets so sexy. Create a resume and online portfolio for your dog. I think we did that. Create social media accounts for your dog
Starting point is 00:33:54 and engage with other users. That's weird. As the dog? As the dog? Yeah, that would be cool if someone was like, cute puppers, and then you just responded like, just like a string of letters, like yeah, the dog pounded on the keyboard for that one. Oh, okay, I thought you were gonna say like a woof woof,
Starting point is 00:34:09 like bow wow response. Bark bark. Yeah, that could work. They're using text to speech. Okay, then that would make sense. Oh yeah. Oh, I got myself really good with that one. I thought that was really funny.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Oh yeah. Post sponsored content on social media. Once your social media page is off the ground, you'll get approached by smaller brands that will offer to pay you in exchange for posting a picture of your dog posing with their product or a similar situation. They will?
Starting point is 00:34:35 When will that happen for us is what I would like to know. Now here's the difference though. The leeway, the leniency that one is willing to offer a dog should they partner with what turns out to be a very problematic company. I bet that there's a lot more leeway given to a dog where the dog's like, ooh, and he's like, yeah man, it's a dog.
Starting point is 00:34:54 What was he gonna do? What was he gonna get online and do some deep research? He's a dog. He's a dog, you can't get mad at a dog. Look at him. Browse and apply to canine talent agencies. Oh, gotta be careful there. Okay, do we, okay, there's some, okay,
Starting point is 00:35:10 I'm looking at the names of some actual industry leading pet talent agencies. We got Top Dog Talent Agency. Sure. That kicks ass, man. Yeah. Fucking kudos to- Slam dunk.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Whoever founded that company and named it, that's great. What's our company gonna be called? We're gonna work with dogs. Top Dog Talent Company. I love it. Now that could be misleading though, because if I'm looking for a talent agent for myself, I'm like, oh, they're the top dog in the business.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Yeah. I wanna work with them. We've got fricking Hollywood animals, we got ACGS, but the best, Paws-it-tively famous. You gotta get in there, the profit margins on these are so huge. Paws-it-tively famous? Paws-it-tively famous.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Paws, paws. Paws, paws. Like a dog paws. Oh wow. Guys, I'm applying the animal stars of tomorrow today. Guys, I'm looking at some of these, I'm looking at ACGS, All Creatures Great and Small, and I'm looking at a fucking just list of dogs.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Sometimes when I wanna look at a cute animal, I just like Google cute animal. This is foolish, I'm realizing, because now, guys, they rep the Aflac Duck. Whoa, whoa, that's huge. I think I am not a dog guy. I like them. I'm always like, it's always, when they're around,
Starting point is 00:36:39 I'm like, oh cool. As long as they're not like jumping on my children and getting them like super freaked out. Yeah. I've never thought about them as a revenue stream Oh cool. As long as they're not like jumping on my children and getting them like super freaked out. Yep. I've never thought about them as a revenue stream or a way to diversify our own sort of portfolio of entertainment products. Travis, your dogs are all three of ours now.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Okay, wow. You haven't done a good enough job getting Lily and Buttercup out there. Now to be fair, a big part of that Griffin is I had a website for Buttercupisavetogoodgirl.com and I fully intended to set up a similar website for Lily when she came into my home and Justin did swoop that URL before I could get to it. So that is kind of on Justin
Starting point is 00:37:20 that he didn't monetize that in an effective way. Well, it looks like he's giving it back because I just went to that URL and it monetize that in an effective way. It looks like he's giving it back, because I just went to that URL and it isn't just a picture of your dog. But you could have trimmed, if this is the headshot, are you taking notes on the headshot for Buttercup?
Starting point is 00:37:35 On buttercupisavereagoodgirl.com or lilyisavereagoodgirl.com? Buttercup. Okay. She's relatable. Lily is a very good girl.com redirects to my ex page. So I do need to update that, I will say. Oh, your page.exe?
Starting point is 00:37:50 Yeah, get that. What are you, oh, and Juice is churning out the good content over there. Oh, yeah. You look at that picture of Buttercup in front of that Christmas tree, and you tell me you're not buying something from that dog. Yeah, no, that's a great picture. I'm about the header picture Travis. It's a little it's a little ability Griffin. It's gruff It's a little scruffy
Starting point is 00:38:12 I'm just saying you like you got it if you got to take your dog to the groomer before you take him in for The headshots well, but her whole deal is that she's a scruffy. What is this picture communicating to me as a casting agent for dogs? Oh this talks need some shit Yeah, I don't know that that's necessarily gonna move product trap picture communicating to me as a casting agent for dogs. Oh, this dog's seeing some shit. Yeah, I don't know that that's necessarily gonna move product, Trav. Okay. But maybe you're gonna wanna cast her in a thing,
Starting point is 00:38:34 like she crosses the country to find me, she finds a bear on the way. Oh, post-apocalyptic. People don't want Homeward Bound anymore. Aw, man. Yeah, we're over that. We're over that. And we're not doing post-apocalypse anymore. New Homeward Bound anymore. Aw man. Yeah, we're over that. We're over that. And we're not doing post-apocalypse anymore. New Homeward Bound would be so fast. It'd be like, they would just like get on an Amazon truck
Starting point is 00:38:52 and get there in like no time. Yeah. They would get there in an email. Okay, well, I'll see what I can do, Griffin, and maybe get some new headshots of my 14-year-old dog. I'm already on it, Travis. Your dog is all three of our dogs now. Okay, so it's a chair. We'll handle, we'll pick up some of your light work here.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Well of course, we will need to have a talk about profit sharing. Yeah, I'm just saying that maybe what we wanna do is to get like a puppy now. No, no, no, no, no, no. And build, okay. No, no, no, no, no, too much work. Have you seen the social network movie?
Starting point is 00:39:24 Yeah, I live my life by it, Griffin, no, no, no, too much work. Have you seen the social network movie? Yeah. I live my life by it, Griffin, are you kidding me? This is Bible. Yeah, okay, cool. It's, okay. I was gonna say, we're gonna Eduardo you pretty good. I think out of your dog, eventually once it really pops off.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Okay, that would be an honor. Yeah. Just to feel like I'm finally living a scene from the social network would be amazing. We'll let you do the costumes and stuff like you're always asked to do, it's no problem. Yeah. It means the world to me.
Starting point is 00:39:51 You know what's even cooler? Money zone. ["It's Better With You"] Drop the the. Travis sometimes has arguments with Rooney Mara in public places just to feel like he's in the social network movie But I pay I good money for those cameos It's like a cameo gotta be on my argue with it over my phone. I script it all out. She's busy, man She is busy, but she makes the time and that's one of the things I appreciate about her. You know what I appreciate?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Having meals and not having to make them myself. Hi, my name is Justin Macaron. I'm a paid endorser for Factor. If you want to, but I'm not just saying this because they gave us money. I'm saying this because they gave us some meals. Yeah, but you wouldn't be saying it. Hold on, but you wouldn't be saying it here in this moment
Starting point is 00:40:45 if they hadn't given you money. You're also speaking in a tone that suggests that the three of us were having a conversation and then me and Travis suddenly froze and you turned and walked toward the camera in a single spotlight. Has this ever happened to you? Guys, we should be on this show to try something new
Starting point is 00:41:00 without having to build a whole proscenium around it. So there I was having a conversation with my brothers and my podcast. And then- Grumble. Oh, my tummy's. This should be a space for experimentation. It's both a lab and a factory. Do you understand that?
Starting point is 00:41:17 Sure, sure, sure. This is both a lab and a factory. It's a lab, a factory, and a restaurant. It's all three things. We think it, we make it, you have it. Factor will sell you food. They're legally required to. They have to sell you food.
Starting point is 00:41:38 No, if you want something that actually tastes good and you'll feel good about eating, but it doesn't take a bajillion years to make. That actually exists even though it doesn't seem possible. It's factor. These are no prep, no mess, never frozen meals, and they're ready to eat in two minutes. And they're genuinely really good. It doesn't feel like you're eating some prefab thing.
Starting point is 00:42:02 It feels like a real meal that you'll really like. How about blackened salmon? How about it? You guys ever heard of a little thing called Philip Mignon? No. I haven't. But it sounds delicious. My dentist is Philip Mignon. You don't have to shop, you don't have to prep,
Starting point is 00:42:19 you don't have to cook, you just have to enjoy the food. Head on over to factormeals.com slash brother 50. Use code brother 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code brother50 at factormeals.com slash brother 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Do you wanna monetize your dog?
Starting point is 00:42:47 Trav, I wanted to talk about, you know what I'm doing right now while we're supposed to be doing this ad? I'm playing a game that you have put up on buttercupisaveverygoodgirl.com. There's interactive elements to this on this powerful website that, if I'm reading this correctly at the bottom of the page,
Starting point is 00:43:03 is powered by Squarespace. That's correct. You've put games into it, and so no one's going to do the ad? Is that what I'm hearing? You guys are just gonna sit here in silence? It's just one game. I don't wanna get people too excited.
Starting point is 00:43:15 It's not an arcade. It's a dog website. Jews, you're gonna have to do it. I'm trying to get the high score with this fucking blog. But I just did my job. You have to do part of the work too, or I'll tell Dad. I'm trying to get the high score with this fucking dog. But I just did my job. You have to do part of the work too, or I'll tell dad. Oh, that's fair. Okay, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform
Starting point is 00:43:30 for entrepreneurs who are looking to monetize their dog and maybe also like their business or whatever. And Squarespace thinks it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with their audience, and sell anything from products to content to time to dogs. All in one place, all in your terms. Well, adopt. You could, I don't know, rent out dogs. I don't adopt, it's a, we knew each other before we met.
Starting point is 00:43:59 You know what I mean? It's just like, refined. That's what it is. Yeah. It's, how about find the other half of your heart? Oh yeah. So start a completely personalized website with a new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Choose from professionally curated layout and styling options to build a unique online presence from the ground up. Now listen, I was gonna say, if you wanna see what Squarespace can do, go to buttercupisafereageatgoodgirl.com. Don't. I do not think buttercupcupisafereagoodgirl.com. Don't. I do not think Buttercupisafereagoodgirl.com is perhaps the best showcasing of what you're
Starting point is 00:44:31 able to do on Squarespace. So maybe there's probably a lot of better examples because you can make, there's so much you can do, including making checkout seamless for your customers, with powerful tools so you can accept credit cards, PayPal and Apple Pay's in eligible countries, all kinds of different options including afterpay and clearpay. You can upload video content, organize your video library and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall.
Starting point is 00:44:59 So go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, Host Alston. And me, Host Brenda.
Starting point is 00:45:29 We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, a Snoopy Mexican, and why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all. Check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get podcasts. Hey, this is Mike Cavalon. It's Huatiwei. And Sierra Cato.
Starting point is 00:45:58 The hosts of TV Chef Fantasy League. Where we apply fantasy sports rules to cooking competition shows. We're not professional chefs or fantasy sports bros. Just three comedians who love cooking shows and winning. We'll cover Top Chef, Master Chef, Great British Bake Off, whatever's in season, really. Ooh, you know chefs love cooking whatever's in season.
Starting point is 00:46:16 We draft a team of chefs at the top of every series. And every week we recap the episode and assign points based on how our chefs did. And at the end of the season, we crown a winner. You can even play along at home if you want. Or you can just listen to us like a regular podcast about cooking shows. That's cool too. Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh
Starting point is 00:46:54 I've found too much Squad I've found too much Squad Welcome to Munch Squad It's a podcast within a podcast. I'm so excited to see you. Profiling the latest and brightest in brand eating. Hi Count Donut, it's-
Starting point is 00:47:12 And I've finally able to return to you. What happened, why were you away? I was held captive by the evil Count Dracula. Oh man. Sorry, John. But as he has recently been slain, I find myself free again. Okay, did you say Thracula? Crossover.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Dracula. Okay. Yeah, yeah, so you listen to the podcast? You listen to Taz? I'm not familiar with what you mean. We just did a very Dracula-inspired season. We just wrapped it up. I wanna say. Where was it set?
Starting point is 00:47:44 So it was set in a fictional sort of spooky land called Ongrave. That's where I live. So hold on a second. Canonically. So you're from, but we met you before we started doing Task Versus Dracula, which is an actual play storytelling. Correct, and I was free to roam
Starting point is 00:47:58 the land then. And then once Count Dracula appeared, I was imprisoned. And now that Count Dracula's slain, I'm alive again. Okay, huh. Pretty sure you were on the show during... Well, can I just say, you're rich. He let me out.
Starting point is 00:48:14 You have a rich fiction, a canon, that has to change and flow like the sea, and I'm deeply impressed with you. Yeah. Time out. Yeah, sure. Time out. Okay. a change in flow like the sea, and I'm deeply impressed with that. Time out, time out. Yeah, sure. Time out.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Okay. So I didn't wanna do a bunch of Dracula guys at the same time in our shows, so I didn't do it while Garfield was doing Dracula, except for maybe once. I did it like one time, it felt weird. So then I didn't do him again. And so I tried to come up with a reason
Starting point is 00:48:48 that was like, K'nakl or whatever. And so he lives in the podcast. And then he lives in the podcast. But it doesn't need, you don't need an explanation. The real thing is like, I just didn't want to have a bunch of Dracula guys around. I get it. Okay. It would be confusing for that.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah, and time and- Time in, yeah, time in. So can I tell you what I've recently learned about the world of Dullknut? Well, I wanted to talk some more about how you were trapped by Dracula in an engraved during the podcast. Where did you live? It'd be crazy if we ran into you.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Quick time out. Okay, yeah, time out. So guys, obviously that was my way of not having to talk about that anymore. So clearly I wanted to move on from that. Trav, can we respect that before we get back into it? Can we respect that and not do, I know comedy rule of threes, it feels like-
Starting point is 00:49:32 I have so many questions. This is actually exhausting. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so. Yeah. Time in. Can't promise it. Would you like to hear what's new in World of Dungeons?
Starting point is 00:49:44 I want that, yeah, I don't wanna hear any more about the, about it. Yeah, I'd promise that. Would you like to hear what's new in World of Donuts? I want that, yeah. I don't want to hear any more about the adventures. Yeah, I'd love that. Well, good news, because... Crespy Kreme is back and they're teaming up with Dr. Pepper. Okay, Dr. Pepper is kind of a mess. For the first time... Okay. ...to kick off football season...
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yeah, sure. ...with all new donuts. I know we have donuts and Dr. Pepper around. I'm thinking football. I usually don't have those two things remotely near each other. They're very football. Laces out and then donuts in.
Starting point is 00:50:22 That's what I say. Count Laces out, donuts in. Count donuts. I said. Count donuts. Count donuts in. Count donut. You're a donut expert, obviously. Thank you, Travis. I have noticed the speed at which places like Dunkin' and Krispy Kreme are constantly introducing new iterations of donut.
Starting point is 00:50:41 That's not necessary, right? Is that a thing that donut fans are constantly looking for the latest and greatest in doughnut technology? Well, obviously, our society is built to reward novelty. And in these days of Instagram. You said that crazy, man. High impact visuals and big brands are more impactful than quality
Starting point is 00:51:06 Which has led to a gradual downturn in the American fast food system. Is this in the press release? Because if so, that's wild. Huddle up and hurry up! Crispy Cream is partnering with Dr. Pepper for the first time ever. Are you okay, countdown? I just don't know who Dr. Pepper is. Oh, no, it's a drink. He's a medical doctor. It's a drink. He's not a medical doctor.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Don't let Travis trick you. You're not- What does it taste like? Okay, three, two, one. Dr. Pepper. Spices. Dr. Pepper and, did you say braces? I said spices. Okay, hold on.
Starting point is 00:51:41 What fucking spices does Dr. Pepper taste like, Trav? Give me one spice. I would say a little bit of cinnamon in there. Maybe some dried raspberries. It's like Mold Pepsi. Imagine that. Yeah. I want to tell you the beginning Friday, August 23rd
Starting point is 00:52:03 for a limited time, crispy creampy Kreme shops around the... So around the... Donut lovers and football fans alike can enjoy the Krispy Kreme... There is an X here. Krispy Kreme X Dr. Pepper. It means it's multiplied by Dr. Pepper. Which is 23. So they are teaming Pepper. Which is 23. So they are teeming exponential.
Starting point is 00:52:26 I love it. It's a donut that delivers the refreshing experience of the iconic 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper. I've never eaten a refreshing donut. I've never eaten a donut. I've been like, ah. Yeah. It's challenge.
Starting point is 00:52:40 It's a challenge to think of. Dr. Pepper, it's an original glazed donut piped with dr. Pepper flavored frosting Featuring a burgundy sprinkle blend and topped with a white chocolate dr. Pepper logo Yama yama can I say let me eat all the logos you have daddy. I am Salivating over here pile the logos into my mouth, cream man. Slide as many as you can for as many different brands. I feel like if I ate, this would be the thing
Starting point is 00:53:17 I would need to be refreshed from. This is going to make me unfresh this donut, and then I will need perhaps a cold and crisp Dr. Pepper to get myself out of whatever this donut's gonna do to me. There's a new buttercream goals donut. An original glazed donut dipped in green icing topped with colorful sprinkles and a yellow buttercream flavored goal post.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Definitely one of the funnest things in football. with colorful sprinkles and a yellow buttercream flavored goalpost. Definitely one of the funnest things in football. I think you boys will agree, we all love to see that giant forfeit. That's not a new donut. We can all agree to that, right? That's a new donut. I hyped a goalpost on it.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I also thought you said ghost. So no, it's goals. And there's the last one, it's GOLLS. And there's the last one is not, no, it's cream filled football donut. It's an unglazed donut filled with white cream and dipped in delicious chocolate icing and decorated as a football. You liked that it seems, or did that hurt you? I couldn't tell if you liked that or didn't like that. Two of America's most loved flavors are about to become one amazing game day sensation to make this the sweetest kickoff to football season ever. This Dr. Pepper collection is a must add to your game day lineup. Whoever you're cheering for says Dave Skinner, the global chief brand officer for Krispy Kreme. So as I understand it, this Krispy Kreme,
Starting point is 00:54:50 Dr. Pepper X crossover event is one donut that is entirely Dr. Pepper themed. And then a couple football ones. And then two donuts, one that is piped to kinda look like a football, and one donut where they've piped a goal post on it. Yes, that's right. Why not just the one donut, you could have just done.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Well, here's the problem with that. Look at the Starling Goalpost donut. They've made little hundreds and thousands out of the people. Oh, like they're people. Yeah, like there's people with the hundreds and thousands. It's like they're people with numperia. It's adorable. And I love the crunch.
Starting point is 00:55:34 If I were allowed to eat them, I'd love the crunch. You're not allowed to eat them? Because it's only blood. No, he can't eat blood. Yeah. In that image. Don't forget. Well, don't say aloud.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Do you have like a Lord vampire that's like, no, no, no, man. I just don't like, are you allowed to eat the batteries? Like, yes, you can. When you were kept captive by Dracula in the engrave, would he not let you eat donuts? Was that the problem? You promised.
Starting point is 00:55:58 You said outside of the jokes, outside of the jokes, we paused the jokes. You promised. Said you wouldn't. But it came up naturally. paused the jokes. You promised. Said you wouldn't. But it came up naturally. You said, Trav, you said you wouldn't. But I felt like it came up organically. I wasn't trying to derail, I was trying to engage.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I wanted to be interesting by showing intros, Justin. No, you know what? That's the end of the podcast. Aw, man. Sorry. Sorry. Look, I'm putting my collar down. No more jokes.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Okay. I had two more jokes written about that. Aw, can you do one of them? I guess. Here it comes. Right now, don't wait. Just shoot it, don't wait. I guess. Shoot it, don't wait.
Starting point is 00:56:39 What? Straight from the hip. Griffin, I have never, I have never done a joke under pressure in my entire fucking life. If William Tell was gonna shoot an apple off my kid's head if I didn't tell him a joke right then, I hope they know how to duck,
Starting point is 00:56:57 cause I can't do a joke for you. I was, I have characters who do do jokes. Do do. I'm not the jokes guy. One of my cavalcade. One of your Jeff Dunham shelves of mine creations. Where is that? When am I gonna get that, the head exploding and like all the characters
Starting point is 00:57:20 coming out of the guy's head. I need that. Where is that imagery? Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. There wasn't anything else to that press release. So, yeah. If I've learned anything about this podcast, if we say that we have jokes we're not doing,
Starting point is 00:57:32 it becomes the only thing that our audience cares about. This would be the new Gucci tapes, I think, if we really didn't clarify. There's no more jokes today. We are plum out. I really wanna eat these donuts. There is something I do wanna clarify. What, Tra?
Starting point is 00:57:48 Next week, September 6th and 7th, we're gonna be in Portland, Oregon, doing My Brother, My Brother and Me, and Adventure Zone, and Rose City Comic Con, so make sure you get your tickets for that. Don't miss out. If you have questions that you wanna answer or wish to fungal or that you want read out loud,
Starting point is 00:58:02 you can email it to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put the city that you'll be at the show in the subject line. And we're also going to coming up September 21st and 22nd, we're gonna be in Orlando and Atlanta respectively. And also coming up soon, we're gonna be in Denver, Phoenix, Indianapolis, and Milwaukee. So go to bit.ly slash McRoy Tours for tickets
Starting point is 00:58:22 and more information. Hey, we have a run to go back to school sale, if you can believe it, over at McRoyMerge.com. Now, through the end of September, you can get 20% off fanny packs and backpacks, as well as Taz notebooks. So, I mean, show off and show out at your school, and let people know that you listen to a podcast.
Starting point is 00:58:41 If you find yourself with some free time on Tuesday at noon Eastern, anytime really with the power of streaming head on over to the McElroy family clubhouse at the McElroy family YouTube channel. It's a live show. This last week's was utterly unhinged and you never know how wild it will get. It's both like a show that we do and like a gaming stream that we do. It's everything to us. It's everything. Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, My Life Is Better With You.
Starting point is 00:59:11 It is my favorite song. And when I think about it, I feel nourished. Can we do the wish to fungalore? Yeah, Justin, do you want to read this one? Shhh. I wish I would stop singing yabba dabba doo. Do you want to try it again in a Fred Flintstone voice? I wish I would stop saying yabba dabba doo.
Starting point is 00:59:40 I make a whole thing could be in the Fred Flintstone voice. It's really good. I wish I would stop saying yabba dabba doo! Woo hoo! Ha ha ha ha! Justin Macarons. Justin Macarons. Fred, you gotta get that hernia checked out. Yabba dabba doo! You're just chastening yabba dabba doo!
Starting point is 01:00:01 I'm Griffin Macarons. Just say your name, set us free. It's been my brother, my brother. Me kiss your dad square on the lips. It's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah. It's better, it's better with you. It's better with you.
Starting point is 01:00:19 My life, ah, ah, ah, ah. It's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, ah, it's better with you.

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