My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 731: Face 2 Face: Good Face Holes

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Live from Rose City Comic Con in Portland, featuring only the best in lossless fart audio! We love this town, and we love all the questions about the value of valueless collectables, the fun of liquid nitrogen, and how to get electrocuted but in a cool way. Suggested talking points: A Picture of Betty Cooper we Didn’t Know We Wanted Until Now, Penny Crimes, Human Tissue Factory, Discreet Plumber Experienced with Toilet Magic, Aroma Romance, Michael’s Secret StuffEqual Justice Initiative: https://eji.org/about/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed.

It's ripen into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you This is true, ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah

It's better with you Casey, Casey, I have your water, Casey Just run up and I'll toss it to you, Casey Casey emailed and said that they were thirsty and would like a water no one's ever no one's ever thought to do that before and we've never really specified that we don't take orders on the show. I'm gonna specify it now. Here's that it's also kind of a one time only thing. Yeah, that's the secret.

That Suv get be, I mean, never again. I made some hamburgers back there, guys. The guy? No one showed up. Don't let my fiddle faddle go to waste. This is homemade fiddle faddle. Is Griffin in cosplay? No, we have to say our names. You haven't done the name part.

My name is Justin McElroy. What up, Trav Nation? I'm your middle-ist brother, Travis Big Dog, Orf Orf McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Hello. Hey, just to workshop something real quick, just to check with you all, when our dad comes out here and says,

we love this city, do you feel anything at all? Do you feel anything at all when he comes out? It doesn't even say Portland. If he says, we love this city, do you believe him? I'm going to make dad start carrying a guitar so I can write the name of the town on the back of the guitar. Yeah. I'm going to make dad start being honest about the cities he's in where he's like, we think this town is fine.

Start saying that some of them are stinkers. Yeah, or it means nothing. Like if you say you love all your sons equally, there's no way. No way. I know them, I know myself. There's just no way we're all the same cup of tea. I had a fun interaction on the show floor today. Real quick, I want to mention

with Dan Parent, who's an artist who's worked on Archie and a lot of Archie adjacent material for a long time. Sid's a huge Archie's fan. Yeah. And I really wanted to get a commission of Sid and I was so nervous because that's not really the kind of thing. You do? I do. Talking to people? Talking to, yeah, like people. Yeah, talking to people. So I was really...

Did you look around to see if I was nearby and you could make me do it? Well, it's just like, it's because his attention was anywhere else, which is fair, he shouldn't just be staring off into the middle distance waiting for me to approach. That's fine. I understand. But I waited for... That's Travis' secret. He assumes everyone's just waiting for me to approach. That's fine. I understand. But I waited for him. That's Travis' secret. He assumes everyone's just waiting for him to approach. Right, and he did have a sign.

I kept telling myself like, he wouldn't have a sign up if he didn't want you to ask. It wouldn't have prices on it and everything if he thought I would be rude for asking. So, finally worked up the courage, waited until he would look down in the middle distance for a second. And waited until like the quarter ran out on the previous person so you could put a quarter in and then I said and then he said

Oh, hi, and I said I would like a commission And he said listen boss I sold a lot of Chevy's and then he said Very very fair. What would you like? Very, very fair. What would you like? We can draw. And then I said again, because I wasn't expecting a follow-up, I said, I'd like you to draw my wife. Like one of your Riverdale girls. Now, to my credit... You will pay me one million dollars to draw my wife.

Now, to my credit, to his credit, he was very cool about this and he I got my phone and I said this this picture and he said I'm actually not doing any like personalized caricatures those take much longer on the show floor and in my head I thought you fucked it up. I can't believe you fucked even this up. And I said, that's no problem. I'll take a different picture. Yeah.

And then he said of who? And I said, Betty Cooper, please. Because again, I was just flailing. And then he said, okay. And he said, when would you like it? And then there was a long silence. When would you like it? When would you like to come back to pick it up?

Another utterly fair question that I... Fuck. A week? Five minutes? What's the normal time that people give you to do a picture of Betty Cooper they didn't know they wanted until now? Did you...

Did the phrase, I'll wait? I'll wait right here, Dan Parent. Don't mind me. I'll be eight feet away, just waiting. But he was, I just want to say he was so super nice and I managed to get through the entire thing eventually. And at some point tomorrow that I didn't want to get too specific about, I will swing back by Dan and I will

Get that picture of Betty Cooper from you and thanks for being very nice to me if you're out there if you say walk by Dan Thanks for being cool. It would be wild if he was here right now and Didn't want to draw Sydney He's like I'm a big fan of your work to a point Yeah, he didn't want to he would love, he just didn't have time on the calm floor. I don't think how embarrassed he is. He's huge, my brother, my brother, and me friend. I'm going to have him do, I already thought about it, I'm going to have him do a family

portrait of the four of us so I can hang over the mantle like a classy guy. Oh, you don't mean the three of us and him. I also thought that's what you were saying. I believe it was Van Gogh who did custom family portraits with him fucking in them also. I forget sometimes we are also a family, my real family. Like my family family. The family ones.

Yeah. The ones you don't have to pay me to talk to. Ha ha ha ha! Oh man. Okay, this is still an advice show. Yes. Thank you all so much for being here. This is such a giganzo crowd.

It's outrageous. I'm gonna do my best to remember that there are human beings over there. Yeah, you're going to. Hey, how's it going? Hey, what's up? That's a dog. How's it going? What's up, dog? I'm going to try to give you as much show as I can. OK, don't worry about it. Now, listen, before we get started, I just want to say something real quick.

Sometimes this show can get a little silly, a little puerile, a little childish. This is gonna be a bit, isn't it? And I just thought we could start the show. Oh, fuck. By injecting a little bit of culture into it. Because, no. Do it, do it.

It's this, honestly, Travis, it's the fucking stinger that's the worst part of this bit so Let's do some work of fart As You all know you've done this bit enough that you could have found a higher quality higher res fart sound any time that's higher quality, higher res fart sound effects. At any time.

That's, Griffin, you don't understand art. It sounds like a fart sound clip from the Sega Genesis game Revolution X. Like it sounds. Yeah. Okay. This is like if I was talking about like Hamlet and you're like, you think by now you'd find a new

high res fart sound clip. I want fully lossless fart audio please, thank you. 4K, I don't know what fart audio, please. Thank you. 4K, I don't know what the audio equivalent is. All right, so I'm going to give you the description of a classic work, and you guys give me the title. Are you ready? I'm born ready.

Yeah, man. Okay, an ordinary man. And please let me finish before you guess. Okay? Yeah, okay. I worked hard on these. Backstage, I saw you. Shut up. An ordinary man. I wasn't expecting you guys to be funny for a sec.

You always gotta expect it, baby. An ordinary man, he's stranded alone on a desert island and must learn to survive while sporting a boner that just won't quit. Oh my God. I mean, it's cast away, but what sounds like a boner that just won't quit. Oh my God. I mean, it's castaway, but what sounds like a boner there? This classic work. Oh, oh.

Tom Hanks' Castaway. Read it again. An ordinary man is stranded alone on a desert island and must learn to survive while sporting a boner that just won't quit. An ordinary. Is it Robinson Blueballs? No, I'm sorry, Justin. island and must learn to survive while sporting a boner that just won't quit. Is it Robinson Blueballs? No, I'm sorry, Justin. Throbinson Crusoe?

There it is! Yeah! Throbinson Crusoe. Thank you, Griffin. Throbinson Crusoe. Fuck, I hate how good I am at this game. A man decides to murder his roommate, but becomes increasingly paranoid when he can still hear his colon beneath the floorboards.

Telltale fart. Telltale fart. Ooh. Judges. Judges. Telltale fart. It's high, it has to be a tie. That's a point for each. Okay. Okay.

That's a pointless. Two to one. Can we just get no points? Yeah, let's do no points. Does that feel better to you? Yeah, no points. I have no points. Okay. Salesman Gregor wakes up to find No points. Yeah, let's do no points. Does that feel better to you? Yeah, no points. I have no points. Okay. Salesman Gregor wakes up to find that he has turned into a giant bug that can't stop urinating.

The metamorphopis. Metamorphopis. Griffin got their verse. He didn't. I did say metamorphopis, which. He said metamorphopis, and unless it's metamorphopis. I said mighty morphin' pis. Mighty morphin' pis and rangers.

Okay, I'm gonna give it to Justin then because it's not Metamorphopis. It's not Metamorphopis. That's one to one. Metamorphorpis is the one where he turns into a beautiful dolphin. On land though, so there's some issues. And he's like cool with it.

I mean, breathe air. Yeah, yeah. It makes more sense for the dolphin to be on land. Sure. What's it doing in the water? Get out of there. This, okay, this is the last one. It's one to one. This Louisa May Alcott novel follows the March sisters, Meg, Joe, Beth and Amy as they age from pooping children to pooping adults. Shittle women. It is Shittle women. Yes. Yes. Gryphon, you're profoundly flawed. You're a flawed person. I came up with it, Gryphon, but you just knew them.

The faster I get them right, the quicker we get through work of fart is sort of my- It's sort of like Winston Churchill said, when you're going through hell, keep going. He was talking about worker fart. I think he was. When I was a kid, I accrued a massive collection of squished pennies from Disneyland and Disney World. Pennies that have been mushed through a machine and imprinted with a Disney character.

Yeah. Squish. Look at us. We know what you're doing. We all know squished pennies, right? All right. We all know squished pennies, right? All right. Might I say also, a timeless thing

that my children now who have access to YouTube are still interested in squishing pennies. Yeah, man. It's amazing, we love. Universal. We love destroying currencies. I had forgotten about them until I just moved back to Portland

and my parents forced me to go through my keepsakes. I think it's possible that these might be valuable and I wanna sell them. Do I hold onto them longer to add value? Do I post each squished penny individually on eBay, Facebook, Marketplace? Also, I have some beanie babies. Do they have to be in the packaging for them to be valuable? How do I maximize my fun profit with fun and profit presumably with these pennies and babies? That's from Pentefl and Portland so I Want to return to the first part?

But I'd love to know about the second a lot because it's interesting you're like, I don't want to google this I'm already typing to these guys I'll see if they know before I type it twice into Google. I'll just toss it on at the end It's not relevant to what I was asking about. At the same time, I think you know, because you wouldn't have lumped Beanie Babies in there also. As the second half of the question. As the second half of the question,

if you didn't know that the thing in the first half also did not have any value financially or fungibly whatsoever either. It also says something in your Beanie Baby confidence that that was the PS to squished pennies. Yeah. That you're like, I'm definitely gonna sell the squished pennies.

Should I also do the Beanie Babies? I think squished pennies, each one of those is a crime. And you cannot put evidence of a crime on eBay. Yeah. That's also a crime. You can't put crime evidence on eBay. You gotta sell them on the dark web. Yeah, you gotta go to the Silk Road to sell your frigging Splash Mountain Squish Penny.

It's a collector's item, man. They shut the ride down. I used to think, I saw a news story after they shut Splash Mountain down that said, they still haven't shut down the Splash Mountain coin machine everybody There's a line out the door, and I thought what the fuck is wrong with them They could have gotten that penny anytime the last 20 damn years and just now cuz the ride shows down

It says a lot hey think if you take one thing away from this show You never know when they're gonna take away that squish penny machine. So what's your squishy penny machine? Yeah, maybe it's that co-worker. You've been meaning to ask out. Maybe that's your squish penny. Yeah, jeez. Yeah push for that trap No way Maybe it's that art school degree. That's better. That's way better my man. I Used to think this way are both crimes Squished the squished penny machine used, you had to put a penny in it to be squished and also you would put some quarters in

to pay for, I guess, the labor of the squishing. That's paying the pennies crossing of the river sticks. But I did used to think though, that it was squishing the quarters in there too to create some sort of super alloy. The quarters are what smushes the penny. Is he putting them between the quarters and they bully the penny?

I thought it would be a squished penny with ribbons of quarters sort of streaking through it. I used to feel bad for those pennies, but that just seems about the best fate they can hope for these days. Yeah. Now they should be, someone hates pennies. Thank you for laughing so hard.

I hate them too, man. I think that it's the only time anybody really interacts with pennies. Like, a Don't You Lovin' Kids is like, do you have any pennies for this machine? Like, what am I, like a bartender in the 1820s? What am I going to do with a penny? A penny?

Can I Venmo a penny? A penny? Can I Venmo a penny into the machine? Would you like a hay for a thing? Like what's wrong with you? A penny. Do five more minutes of a penny's late. Okay here's the thing. The only reason we haven't gotten rid of them is because the minerals that they're made out of have a valuable

say in the government. See pennies, I work at a human. Here's the challenge. You can't finish a sentence during this entire rant. I work, I'm moving on. The chemicals inside of them, you see when they press the pennies, see they're so heavy and when you, And they curl kind of sometimes.

A lot of people think we're on the gold standard, but they're wrong. We're not... It's Illinois's fault, really. The only things I know about the government are the things I remember from West Wing, all right? So if it wasn't covered in a West Wing episode, I don't really know about it.

How about another question? I work at a human tissue library, which entails many types of preservation methods. That was an interesting reaction from the crowd. Almost an incredulousness. One of these again. Which entails many types of preservation methods, one of which is liquid nitrogen.

I always wanted to do fun experiments with liquid nitrogen at home. Should I steal some? Just a little bit? Just a little bit. That's from Frozen in Rose City. Are you here? Yeah, okay. I'm, I think the only thing that off puts me

hearing it out loud about the human tissue library is the library part. Because I assume it's not like a library that I'm thinking of that you could go in and be like, hi, I wanna check out this slice of Pete today. Can I have? Do you have any Susan I could peruse to take home?

I'll bring it back. I have to think if I was the boss at the human tissue factory and I heard not factor if I was if I was the foreman at the demon tissue factory and someone came to me and said sir one of our employees has been stealing and I my first reaction would be like oh fuck But then if you were like liquid nitrogen, I'd be like, well, that's not so bad. Lead with that.

Way, way worse stuff you can steal at the human tissue factory, I bet. Why did you pause so long? I was already. One of the brains. Fuck. Fuck, one of the good ones? One of the ones we were gonna use for something else?

I was already to enable you in this question, but when you said just a little bit, I got more concerned and less likely to wanna trust you with this, because the idea that you would ask just a little bit lets me know you know you shouldn't have a lot. You need to limit your own amount for your own sake and the sake of your friends and family.

Yeah. I think it's one ounce of liquid nitrogen, and it's just a misdemeanor at that point. I do think that it's important to qualify, because if someone said they've been stealing from our business, and I was like, throw them to jail, and they're like, yeah, they took $0.55. I'd be like, oh, that's fine.

How much does liquid nitrogen cost? We don't know. Can you replace it with solid or gaseous nitrogen? And instead, just do a quick swap, one for one. Technically, there's gaseous nitrogen everywhere, so this is barely even a crime, if you think about it. Or you replace liquid nitrogen, I can give you hydrogen and oxygen in the same liquid right now.

Just return it in a different state, then it's not there. I'm pretty sure it's in the air, right? It's in there, right? Guys, is there nitrogen in the air? I think there's more of that than oxygen, believe it or not. Is that true? There you go. That's so fucked up, man. Ha! And another thing about the government

and the way they control our nitrogen. Who's your boss to tell you it's not yours? That's part of Mother Earth, man. Take it back. I didn't know they used it for stuff other than experiments. So that is very interesting to me. Yeah, you use it to make weird food and stuff. I only know about it from Mr. Wizard and stuff,

so I assume it's just a Mr. Wizard type thing. Yeah, sorry I saw that cosi where they'll put a hot dog in there and smash it. That's hilarious They do I I've mostly seen liquid nitrogen used to shatter things that shouldn't be shattered That's the main thing. I know about it for sure I would say between cosi and CSI which is close to cosi if you think about it just take the O out of it. Yeah, sure. Is I spent a lot of my younger years terrified that I would someday have it spilled on me and shattered like Boris from GoldenEye.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Right, that's very fair. You know it's like when you get the dry ice in the shipment and it says all over the dry ice, don't touch this, throw it away right away. And I'm like, uh, no. Or am I? I'm gonna need to pretend to be a witch real quick. Yeah, I don't know if you see how fun this stuff is, but I got a laser pointer, so I think I'm actually

good right now playing with this thing. I'm gonna turn my toilet into a spooky cauldron. So, yeah, I think I definitely will. You don't want me to waste this, do you? But then I think your toilet explodes, you're like, damn, they should put a fucking warning on this. Spell went wrong. I don't know what to tell you.

That would be that, man. I don't want to explain that to a plumber. Superdoll. Yeah, so it was, you ever pretend to be a wizard? How much toilet magic do you deal with in your... These darn kids, I gotta talk to them about this. I saw on your Anchi's list that you've worked with toilet magic in the past. Hahahaha!

And you won't talk to other plumbers if a client does something very bad or wrong. It said on your Anchi's list... You promised plumber client confidentiality. It said you were very discreet. I need a discreet plumber experience with toilet magic. And you're from another state, right? You don't know anyone I know? Perfect.

I am currently at a sushi conveyor belt place, and I just fell over and ate shit while walking in my seat. I'm in heels and it was very slippy. The waiter seated me, solo diner, opposite two women. They're about my age and absolutely saw me eat shit and every time a waiter interacts with me they stop talking and look at me. Is there any way to make this less awkward? Am I meant to say something or should I keep looking down at my phone and pretending they don't exist? That's from Bothered in Birmingham. Okay, so you gotta acknowledge that you eat shit. First get up off the floor. Then come to the shelf. You have to acknowledge that you ate shit immediately because if in 20 minutes you're like, God, do you guys remember when I ate shit earlier?

That was so fucked up. I just fell right over. I, oh, I can't eat any of this delicious sushi. I already ate shit. If I did that, not a joke, I would stand up and walk. Walk right out of the restaurant. I would sit down on the conveyor belt. Not to be, not to be today, not to be. I would sit on the conveyor belt

and let it take me back into the parking lot. Here's what I would actually do. Now that I think about it, I would continue my journey up to the front. I would look at it for seven seconds and go, meh, and then turn around and leave. It costs how much? No.

No, this is too expensive for me, a falling guy. I don't eat at a place with slippery floors. Who does? I know enough about myself to know that if this happened to me, I would be less embarrassed about eating shit than I would be whatever weird whimsical noise my body would make come out of my mouth.

Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever noise that my brain goes, I know how to make this less awkward, will make a noise that acknowledges we didn't intend to do this. Yeah. But how can we do it, Brain? I know. Make the noise whimsical and nonsensical. Maybe a, whoa!

What are you doing? I mean, there's another way to go with this. And it's as you fall, go like, oh, no! Not again! So that everyone sees you, and you look just while these two people are talking and just trying to have a quiet meal together While a stranger has been sat across from them for reasons beyond my comprehension I assume the conveyor belt's in between that you're not sat at the same table

That's what it sounded like but I we don't really know what the way it was like I was gonna see you by yourself, but I think you need some company right now. I would stand up and immediately piss my pants. Immediately, no hesitation. Why? To what end? Stand up, solidarity, now it's the both of us here. Oh, okay, you're not saying-

They fall over, I stand up and I'm like, do you hear the people? And I piss my pants. I thought you were saying, if you fell down in a sushi restaurant, you would then stand up and piss your pants. As long as I'm doing, do you hear the beep? And I pissed my pants. I thought you were saying if you fell down in a sushi restaurant, you would then stand up and piss your pants. As long as I'm doing this thing. If you see another family member in God's love

across the room fall over, you gotta piss your pants right then. And then somebody else should empty out their pockets and a bunch of stuff they're embarrassed of falls out. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's beautiful. what if you ate shit? Yeah. And then you pointed at anyone else in there and said like,

and you didn't catch me. We were filming this whole time. I'm John Quinones. Get out of here. Yeah. Could you go around to everyone in the restaurant and just, hey, it's a wet floor. It's a wet floor.

I don't know if you noticed, so we have a slight wet floor. And I'm so sorry for falling down. I'm normally not like this, and I promise I'll be on better behavior for this. I'm actually a surgeon, I very steady hands. This isn't like me at all. And I'm gonna give you this coupon for one free surgery

to make up for interrupting your meal. I would show everyone how good I was with the chopsticks. Just everyone watching. Very, very delicate, very steady. I would like you two to know that it also hurt a great deal. So while you're laughing over here, you should know that I'm in a great deal of physical pain. It also hurt that neither one of you has asked how I'm doing.

I'm a costume designer. Do you think they are going to do an episode of Mr. Bean where he's in a conveyor belt sushi restaurant? I think it'd go a little something like this. I'm not actually going to do it. Do it! You see the train moving out of the station and you're like, wait, wait, wait! And then you kick the train off the race. Alright, but think about Mr. Bean in a sushi conveyor belt restaurant.

He ends with it on his naked body guys how we get to there He's a human platter. We can all agree to fucking life hack if you're ever on stage at a live show I'll listen to this shh no way a lot No wait if it feels like the energy is flagging on stage at a live show you just say imagine if mr. Bean did this and then The audience is gonna have their own jokes that they do in their head for a while. And it's like Inception, they put them there themselves, it's the best kind of jokes. If you are not thinking about Mr. Bean

while you are watching our show also, you're really only getting half of the experience. This is a dual screen experience. It's only half as funny as it could be if you were also imagining Mr. Bean getting into hijinks. You know how scientists believe that human beings only use 10% of their brains to watch my brother my brother and me We here at magra enterprises have a pill that's gonna let use the other 90% to imagine what mr Bean would be doing at a conveyor. It's a big ball of wasabi imagine his fucking face guys

The chopstick is alone are gonna give you 20 minutes of material. Oh my god, so much good stuff. He goes to snap them in half and like one and a half goes and he's just got half of a chopstick in one hand. That's funny. Let's keep workshopping. I'm a costume designer in theater. Throughout my job I found myself frustrated with the adults I work with do not understand

basic concepts and how to care for their clothing. I often have to explain over and over what can and can't go in delicate bags or their costumes will not be washed, they don't put in a laundry basket, etc. I even had an actor recently try to steam a shirt while he was wearing it, which... That's good! That sounds good to me. Seems okay. Yeah. What, you want to try to steam it while it's wadded up on the ground?

Come on. How can I gentle parent my adult coworkers into understanding basic laundry and clothing care? That's from Consumed. Confused. Confused. Not consumed. That would be terrible. Confused customer in Multnomah County. Okay. Yeah. it's hard.

Can we just, can once a year, can the president come out and say- The president of what? America, come out and be like, what's up gang? This is how we're doing laundry now. Cause I remember early on, everybody was wild about separating whites and colors out.

And then I did that for a couple of times and I didn't really get it. So I never did that again. We got better at making clothes that weren't white. I think we got better at not just throwing some dye at it and hoping it stays on there for the rest of time. I think we got better. I recently saw on, then I'll get a TikTok from some competent seeming person who's like, you're still using fabric softener pervert.

It's like, ah, what's wrong? I thought we liked that. So I need the president to come out and be like, if you're still using fabric softener, by the way, you're a fucking pervert. We're all on a laundry rinse now. I never even knew that was an option. I would like to get like a PDF print out of what can go

in the dryer and what I need to hang up that I can reference every time. Every shirt should just have a big design on the front of it that's like, go for it or nah. Yeah, small as it's gonna get. Yeah. Sorry, man. I recently had to replace my washer

and it has AI functionality built into it. Why not? Yeah, for sure. But like seriously though, do we need them for this one? I mean, if they're dirty we clean them, if they're wet dry them. I mean, I don't know what intelligence we need in here, right? The only thing it's gonna like learn and repeat is like, these are getting grosser. Hey man, I'm worried about you. These are starting to smell.

You have, you've made a lot of choices I can't agree with. You've done the hot tumble button like 20 times to avoid having to fold them. Are you sure you're doing okay? You keep throwing in a wet towel and drying them all again. Are you all right? Please clean my lint trap. I'm so full.

Please. I think that the problem is when you're a theater costume person and you're dealing with this, the problem is that in the show, the person's character doesn't do laundry. And they're so deep in character that they're like, what even is this? Yes. That's a good point. What do I do with these socks? This is Little Women. We didn't, this is, we're putting on Shittle Women tonight.

And back then- Also, we're getting shut down tomorrow. We're getting shut down. This is not acceptable. Nobody bought any tickets at all, actually. We used, they washed their clothes with like a big sharp metal board and they would dunk them in poison and stuff.

That's all I know. That's all I know. It's all I know. You must do these for me while I sit on my iPhone backstage, not worrying about it anymore. Justin, Travis, look in front of you right now. What are you saying? Computer screen. It's better with you Justin Travis look in front of you right now. What are you saying computer screen? Yeah, that's right. You know why? Reading an ad well, I mean yes, but more so I'm gonna say cuz like so much business is done online I'm doing my business right now. This is you caught me at my office listener. This is my office

You've caught Justin doing business like a real business grownup. That's right. We're business grownups, and you can't take that away from us. You know when it really became real to me, Trav? When's that, Justin? The day that we opened a website.

That was the day once we finally had a website, that was when my dream of having my own podcast, I feel like it finally started to become real. Okay, I mean, we'd done a lot of episodes before that, if I remember correctly. It's impossible to say, but the important thing is a website and Squarespace is gonna help you make a website that makes your dream into a reality.

So you can live your dreams like podcasting superstar, Justin T. McElroy. That's right. They have world-class designers that are gonna make you have a website that you are proud of, whether or not you think you deserve that or not. And yeah, I see you.

And I know you think you don't, but you do. And listen, our computer overlords, they're coming in, right? They've got cutting edge AI technology over there to do design intelligence, right? So just another thing that robots can do for you as we lose the ability to do it ourselves. So there you got that.

That's huge for you. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Justin, have you ever thought about how when the robots take over, phrases like get off my nuts

or like cuff my nuts will like be like a whole new meaning for them? Like it'll be funny cause they'll have like nuts and bolts and stuff. I think the place that's really gonna mess them up the most is Chip Drop. Because Chip Drop is- You don't even wanna play in the space with me

of talking about robot nuts. I was doing it. I was doing it. Or if they said, I got a bolt. No, Trav, I was doing it, because Chip Drop, they would be like, why do you want to drop your chips? You know what I mean?

Yeah. You need them for processing tasks. Uh-huh. And like, truck nuts, when they're building a truck, they'd be like, I do not get it. But it's not that kind of chip. It's the kind of chip that is made from wood. This is a really-

That would blow a robot's mind. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah, that would actually freak them out. Maybe if you're building on a steampunk wooden robot. No, this is a- Make sure it. Just make sure it.

I'm trying to tell you about Chip Drop, which believes in empowering people to do cool stuff, like growing food for the first time, chopping firewood, planting a flower garden where there was one before. It encourages people to transform their yards and communities by providing free wood chips and information about how to use them.

This, that's the whole thing. I do like that. The chips are free for gardeners. It comes with a little sew-up, saves you some cash. Chip drop saves small business owners thousands of dollars a year in green waste management. Amazing. Wood chip mulch is awesome for your garden. It turns into soil like magic.

Fantastic. It turns dirt into soil. It turns dirt. The wood will not, Justin, the wood will not turn into soil like magic. Fantastic. It turns dirt into soil. It turns dirt. The wood will not, Justin, the wood will not turn into soil like magic. It turns dirt into soil like magic. That would be incredible wood. You know what I mean?

Like they just, but you could sign up for free wood chip delivery at chipdrop.com. Arborist, if you're out there, sign up at chipdrop.com and start saving your business all kinds of money. Hi, I'm Alexis. And I'm Ella. And we're the hosts of Comfort Creatures.

We could spend the next 28 seconds telling you why you should listen, but instead here's what our listeners have said about our show because really they do know best. The show is filled with stories and poems and science and friendship and laughter and tears sometimes, but tears that are from your heart being so filled up with love. A cozy show about enthusiasm for animals of all kinds, real and unreal. If you greet the

dog before the person walking them or wander around the party looking for the host's cat, this podcast is for you. So come for the comfort and stay for Alexis' wild story about waking up to her cat giving birth on top of her. So if that sounds like your cup of tea, or coffee, Ella, we're not all Brits, then join us every Thursday at MaximumFun.org. Hey, this is Mike Cablon, Ifiwadiwe, and Sierra Cotto, the hosts of TV Chef Fantasy League, where we are currently using fantasy sports rules to watch Great British Bake Off. Or the Great British Baking Show as it's known here in America.

We've drafted the bakers onto our teams and now those bakers are earning us points based on how they're doing on the show. And at the end of the season one of us will win the prestigious TV Chef Fantasy League... Trophy... crown... what is the... Yeah, I don't know, I keep forgetting to order something. Probably just dinner. Anyway, subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League and play along with us at home. Or just listen in as we cry over our baker's soggy bombs. On MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

I gotta grab a charger. We gotta start setting up the live questions. We're gonna do live questions. Sure, Juice. Absolutely. We're gonna jump over and start doing some live questions while Justin apparently goes and grabs a charger for his ailing laptop. We have asked for these ahead of time, so please- And we've also chosen them ahead of time, so if like like we don't say your name, please don't come up. Please don't come up. It would be so bad and so uncomfortable. And don't fall down when you come up to the microphone. I didn't like the waft.

What's going on guys? My name is Richard Stink. I'm like a cinder influencer about fragrance. Richard Justin is going to be so sorry he missed you. Yeah, he always misses me. It's so weird. You could wear his hat if you. What do you think of that hat, Richard?

No, I'm a man. I wear a man's clothes. I smell like a man. I wear a man's clothes. And now these days, here at Road City Comic Con in Portland, Oregon, I am I love this town.

I am, I'm excited to announce here that I am branching out from just being an excellent fragrance guy and loving Jesus a lot. You're branching out from that? I'm branching out guys. I gotta get different revenue sources. Everybody gets this.

I understand. So I've become a novelist. I'm writing. I'm a writer now. Huh. And I'm excited. Oh, I got some fans already. I'm excited. No'm a writer now. Huh. And I'm excited. Oh, I got some fans already. I'm excited.

No, they just like books. I've been doing signings of all the books. I'm getting pretty deep now. Wait, how many books have you written? That's an excellent question, Trav. Thank you so much, man. I thought it would be a really good time for me to like go through some of the books I'm writing. It's been like three months since the last time we talked to you. Yeah. You've written plural books. Yeah, let's, it's a series, right? Like it, you guys got the omnibus. Did I, I sent you

an omnibus. I love the way you say that word, Richard. Yeah, no, I got it. I got it. All of them. Oh, you did, did you? How many omnibot did you make though? Well you open the box From me then I sent you how many were in there the last time I opened a box from you I was knocked unconscious for three days by the Senate. I didn't open it I'd love to show you the cover reveals for a lot of these aren't out yet But this is early steam preview if you want to see in da in da in da friend the friend da right friend da You're not gonna blab about it on X to everything app. Okay, let's go.

Book one, let's go, Paul. So. Okay, so hold on. This is the first book in the series. Yeah, man. I wanna, listen, there's so much to talk about. The Richard Stinkman. Right it's a pen name. In case I ever mess up too bad I can still be the book guy. If Richard Stink ever mess up really bad, Richard Stink been a different guy. Yeah. Or if the book

man messes up too bad, Richard Stink can keep on power It's a good idea people never think about this, but that's the first gate Aroma gate opens it's as you can see there. It says right on at the grand beginning of the Roma gate saga Okay, that looks like a stargate kinda, but it also kind of looks like Zena's chakra. Well It's hey listen the other thing about this that was so important to me is I wanted to use zero AI. So this is, I woke up at five this morning and learned how to do Canva. So be, be patient, because Canva is alright for some things, but not so great with others, and sometimes they try to trick you into using AI, and I hate that.

Let's see the second book, Paul. Oh, God. The Aromagate Closers. Now this is book two of the Aromagate Saga. Yeah. Now it says at the bottom here, Richard Sinkman, author of book number one. Number one book, the Aromagate Open. Does that mean number one in the series the aroma gate series or yeah?

But you can put number one there if it is also the first okay cool It's a big seller. Can you give us like any kind of plot sort of like I don't I have not gotten It's just like whatever you get like it's Aroma gate stuff like it's a Roma fantasy what's the Aroma gate? You guys do the nerd stuff you should know about it's magic spells I don't know you get so hung up on details did you say spells or smells? Third book you're probably guessing what it will be already but yes it's Brink Lord's Ascent Files mystery and it's it's soon to be a major motion picture you say.

Yeah, I actually went ahead and mocked up a cover for the adaptation. This looks really, huh, it still says Richard Stinkman on it. That's the author. This is the book version of the movie version of Brink Lord's Ascent Files mystery. Can we see?

Soon to be a major motion picture? Next one. Now a major motion picture. Excellent. I did both, guys. Yeah, for sure. And what is a Brink Lord? I don't know, like sci-fi.

There's a cat in it. And space cat. I don't know. Yeah, all right, man. Brink Lord's Ascent Files mystery. It's different from Aramagate, but it's still like part of it. It crossover. Okay, but Scent down there is S period, C period.

What do they stand for? I don't know. Like, you guys get so hung up on this stuff. Like, I want you to leave the audience a little room to fill in between blanks. Did you just get a bunch of book covers made, Richard? Next cover, we're back to the Aroma Gates, everybody. But listen, it says, the top sets this one up. If you look at the top of this one, it says, what if one gate was just the beginning?

Okay. Now this is the third movement of the Aroma Gate saga. That's so interesting that they're movements now. Yes, this is the, well that's a different gate. Yeah, no, this one looks like it was drawn by Harold in the Purple Crayon. Did you expect, did you expect there would be a second gate? I guess not, no, but not knowing what the first-

What other surprises could be in store if I give that away on the cover, you know? Yeah, I don't know if you know the answer to that. Who is your co-star there? A lady. I don't know if it's a romance or a sister or what like an aromance. People buy a cover. Aromance like aromance because it's a Roma. You don't need to do that. That's good. Next up. I'm giving away gold Now shit. Yeah, man. Holy shit. Yes. Yes. Now you got me. Yeah, you're getting excited by this crew Yeah, you're getting excited about this team. Fuck. Yeah, I am Fine. Okay. Wait, I'm in it. Wait, fuck. I mean I thought you I thought you liked that. It's your guy Magnus, the guy you pretend to be.

I fucking love it! He's in the book too, man! Hell yeah! Wait, Hercules... Wait, wait, what the fuck? What just happened? Well, Paul ruined my joke, but... Fight together or die alone? Wilson the football is not really in it. That's a joke for you guys.

It's actually Hercules. Alright! And it's... The cat is back, because people actually like the cat a lot. From the Brinklords. The Brinklords cat crosses over into this. Who's the guy in the middle? That's Armando Murillo.

Sorry, he's the nose behind CK1. Okay, yeah. Marc Jacobs Daisy, it's Armando Murillo, one of the greatest sin creators in the world. And bottom left there, that Witch King, is that? He's just an old king, man. You guys get so hung up, he's like a fantasy king. And who's that in the top left? What?

That's me. Is it possible to do another swap and get the Wilson volleyball back in it? Because I was way more excited about that. I actually feel better about that. You guys don't like an incredible strong man, Hercules? I wouldn't say my problem with it is Hercules, but maybe with the actor I'm a bit disappointed. OK, we'll skip ahead.

Next. Joke. Faux, yeah. So this is a back to the beginning of the start. Or every origin has a beginning. That's true. You cannot argue with it. And then this is the first Aromagate.

But now it's the Aromagate cycle. Well, at first I wasn't counting the synth files one, but then I thought it'd be better if I had more. Yeah, but one issue I'm seeing here is it does say the Aromagate cycle book six. I do think this is the fifth Aromagate book. Sorry, no, that's the fifth Aromagate book. That's the sixth one. The fourth one is the... sorry, you're so confused. That says the fourth part of the Aromagate saga. That is before we started counting the Sint files. Which made it into... The Sint files made it because I thought it'd be better if I had more This is the publisher. It's not even me Griffin

I'm not even making these decisions anymore. Are you holding a disco ball next? Ha Now hold on Richard hold on Richard. This is a good woman. This is the one I got rich off of That's not surprising. Jesus rules all, especially on his birthday, is the tagline at the top. Can we see the top of the page, Paul? Jesus rules all, especially on his birthday,

the scent of Christmas. A scent files mystery. Book seven of Aromagate is both. He's both. Now who is Eliza? I pretend to have a wife because people love that, the family audience. I'm trying to sell a lot of Christmas books. I thought it'd be better like James Patterson does it.

Richard Stink does it too. Oh, there he is. That's a cameo for the fans. Did you get a little bit of advice from Hercules to find out how to really appeal to this particular audience? No, I just loved Jesus so much, I want to celebrate his special day next book.

Okay, I don't want to talk about this one. I changed my mind about AG 50,000. I regret AG 50,000, I don't want to talk about this one at all. Who is that? I don't want to talk about who is that all I don't want to talk about this But who is that? I don't want to talk about AG 50,000 at all Griffin. Please. I don't have any answers for you I don't have answers. Don't ask next book What do you want to know about, Travis? Well, I think it would be, book the ninth chapter of the Aromagate myth.

Yeah, yeah. Let's start there. Okay, it's the ninth book. Oh, Richard, I didn't even see that you're in there. That's cool. A lot of authors don't do that. She's a giant. Is this, do you know about, is this like the dune? Is it like a dune sort of thing?

Like a dune, do you know dune? Yeah, I know dune. Timothy Chalamet's in it. I mean, that's true. Obviously. He absolutely, when we were out there, guys like last month or two months ago, before it came out in theaters, he was like, you gotta see gotta see this Richard this is gonna blow your mind. You know Timothy

Shalime. I said I haven't seen the first one is that cool and he was like absolutely no problem. I didn't get it for real. Is that Evangeline Lilly? It's just the lady in the desert man I don't know it's just a giant lady I did I went ahead I got the novelization for this one all set too. This is a novel? So the movie, when they do the movie, this'll be the book of the movie.

Yeah. Last book in the series. This is where it all ends. Now hold on. Now hold on, hold on, hold on. You've noticed, you've noticed my marketing I came up with. So my wife, Eliza actually came up with this. She did most of the editing. It's amazing tribute to me and my legacy and our love. That's really- It's compiled posthumously from the notes of, cause I pretend I died.

Yeah, sure. More people buy it, they get sad, they hear about it on the news or TikTok or whatever, they go buy it. Yeah. No problem. I see no problems with this plan whatsoever, Richard. I do, okay, well, you want to see the last one? What?

Well, there's one you died Richard well I Like okay Richard, so this is obviously great another Right this is a super team of kids yeah that picks up right where the 10th book left off. It is 780 pages But that is the entire franchise I'll be signing books all the time forever to get where do you fit? Where should I start with the aroma gate myth? So excellent question Griffin. It is a dark fantasy So if you're

not into that I don't think you're gonna love it. It's uh it's very dark your favorite characters die all the time. They turn bad they turn back to good back to bad again. It changes. Alright so you're saying don't read these books? Well I didn't write them yet but when I get going what would you compare like the tone of them to? Whatever. I didn't write them yet. What do you think they'll be? Dark fantasy. Whatever's sort of like hot right then like I feel like whatever's on trend. The series is kind of a multi generational spanning eros except for G 50,000 that one you shouldn't pretend exists but you haven't written it yet Richard stupid I hate a

G50 you haven't written it yet right but if I could go back in time and not even come up with it at once I would because I don't have anything to support it it's not too late is what I'm saying you haven't have anything to support it. It's not too late It's what I'm saying you haven't made a G 50,000 They're already putting this on X the everything app the cats out of the bag man. I'm thank you. Please don't tell anybody. Okay promise Thank you Thank you so much. Richard's just leaving the stage now Okay This time for real we're gonna call people down to the microphone.

It's here, house left, sort of in the middle. When you come down to the microphone, if you want to tell us your name, your pronouns, if you'd like, and then what your question is. Hello. Hi. My name's Hope. My pronouns are she, her. Hi, Hope. My pronouns are she, her. Hi Hope. So yeah, no, I'm an embryologist so I help people that are struggling with infertility have babies. And thank you. I do podcasts for all applauding for equally cool job. We level, yeah. We hope people go, oh, I get it. Yeah, so part of my job is that I get to be the person that the guy, after collecting

his semen sample, they get to hand me the cup. Yeah, now twice there, I hope you didn't say, you get to do it. Are you sure that's the verb you want to go with? Well, they pay me to do it. Okay, cool. But I never know what to say, like, whether that's, you know, thanks for coming or... It's like, if you can deliver it,

absolutely 100% down the middle, straight, no cracking at all, and then just barrel them, just stare straight at them and dare them to break, that's really good. Yeah, that's really good. Or hit up with a full fucking Charles Nelson, right, like, thanks for coming! Is the other option.

One of those two different sort of poles are the ones you wanna navigate. What about, ooh, hot, hot, hot. Why is it so hot? It's not supposed to be hot. What did you do? It's so hot. Ow!

It's burning my fingers. You swirl it around, you go, look at the legs on this one. No. Ah, the notes, it's amazing. Can you go, can you go, water ball flip challenge, go! So much.

I have had people say, it's usually more. I don't, I'm sorry. They go back in there and do it again. Don't bring your B game to this. So one guy did think that he had to fill up the whole cup. He came out, dried out like that one Spongebob picture. It was a no. He was in there for like an hour and a half.

He felt so bad that he couldn't fill up the cup and we're like, it's okay. Was there not a point in that hour and a half where somebody thought we should check on him? I don't wanna be that person. Yeah, that's a good, yeah Travis, you tell me how you lead that conversation off. You would think that there is one highly paid

but hopefully underused person who has the role of person who knocks on door. It would be a sick place to hide a body if you think about it, right? Because nobody's going to barge in there. They just need some more time. They'll find it. They'll find everything. I would just... Can you go, yuck? No, don't do that!

What's this? Why would you hand me that? You put what in here? No, no, no. When I had to do the tests, they had a ledge, and you would flip a switch to turn a light on and just leave it there. To let them know it was there, and they said,

and you just flip it on and leave. And then they had to call me, because I sprinted so fast. They were like, we don't mean leave the building. You just, just the room. So I kind of like did a reverse bank job there. Just kind of bust it out. I also had to do this once,

and I had to leave it in its sealed cup with the little sticker you put over it that says like grade A stuff. My best Michael secret stuff. Michael secret stuff. And then I left it. They had like this wire like shelf that I recognized as Ikea furniture.

And it felt like a weird place to leave my seed. The last time I did it, they couldn't use it It felt like a weird place to leave my seed. The last time I did it, they couldn't use it because I just blasted a hole straight through the bottom of the cup. And they got very concerned for a lot of reasons. I know none of this has been helpful, but I need to do anything I can to move on right now. Do you understand? Thank you very much for understanding. Thank you. Thank you

Hello, hello, I'm Cameron hi Cameron So my question was I'm an electrician. That's what I do for work. My question was Are there any cool things I can say when I get shocked at work that aren't fuck? Okay, that was gonna be my first suggestion. I wanna do something cooler, everybody does that. That's old hat. So are you in the field during your life?

Are you in someone's home? I do commercials, so like in people's businesses. Okay, okay, that's slightly different, I would say. Cause I don't wanna hear basically anyone scream in my home ever for any reason. I mean, you wrote in the email, obviously anything other than Bazinga, because I always say Bazinga every time I get shot.

So you meant other than Bazinga. I don't know what you would yell. Do you try to move things with your mind after you do it every time? Every time. Yeah. Every single time. Maybe you could like.

That's why I became an electrician. Sure. You saw zapped and you were like, that seems good to me. Maybe you could get shocked and then fall on the ground and just within a second stand up and say, where did I go? I, it's been, it feels like a year for me, how long was I out? And start telling a whimsical tale about the other side. You're a pro though, you gotta play it off.

You gotta be yelling about it literally anything else. Like, ah, dang gas prices, shoot. Shoot, I have my dang toes. I live on this stuff. Hit me again daddy. Yeah, I think the only way to do it is to play it off like you're the fucking shocker. And you're just like, oh yeah!

Mama Volks is hitting it. That's why we do it! Hit me hard! Hey, can I ask, is there an element of truth in the joke we've just made? Oh yeah. Okay I have to imagine. Were you a kid that used to lick 9 volt batteries?

I guess is what I'm asking. I have to say that here in front of all these people? Yeah fair enough. You can just yell, this is your fault! How often is this happening? I mean a few times a year at least. That's hurting off the power before you work least. Hey, that's pretty good. Turn off the power before you work on it.

Oh, that's for wimps. Okay, I didn't know. We did one time, I was trying to put in a ceiling fan in my house, and it turned out that whoever wired up our house previously had mislabeled everything in the breaker box. Oh, fun. So we had a very fun experience of me just like

gently touching the volt meter or whatever to a thing and my, I'm feeling like, no, not that one, turn off another one. Yeah, still on. And I could feel the story of my life wrapping up. Well, we're getting to the last couple pages here. Travis died as he lived. Kind of being sort of careful.

Yeah, have we helped you at all, Cameron, what you saying? Okay, great, yeah. Thank you so much. Hello. Hey, how's it going? Good, I'm Kate S. Hi Kate.

And my husband has the face shirts. Yeah, so let's hear about that now. So it started because I sleep with the TV on and he has to have zero light. So he gets a shirt and he places it over his face. Oh, okay. This is so different than I ever could have imagined. All the email said, all it said was,

husband face shirt, how do I get rid of them? Okay. Okay. Can I ask you a question? No, how do I get rid of them? Okay. Can I ask you a question? No, I want to hear the end of this question first. Yeah. But then I'll ask my question. Yeah.

You ask your question, then... Yeah, you do your... Then you ask another question. So it turns into if it falls on the ground, it's then a dead shirt, they fall behind, he can't find them. It's been a five-year battle now. Yeah he can't find them. It's been a five year battle now. And so I just need to get rid of them. The face shirts that go on your husband's face

while they are sleeping. Maybe the laundry too that is like the incumbent of it. That is the traditional sort of home of shirts. Hey, I'm lost on the, it falls on the ground and it's a dead shirt. What does that mean? Speak on that. I guess if I'm lost on that it falls on the ground and it's a dead shirt. What does that mean? Speak on that.

I guess if I'm hung up on one thing. You'd have to ask him if it falls on the ground. You don't wanna put a dirty shirt on your face. I get that. No, but you could- It's our floor. Yeah. But you could wash it. So when we read the question,

we kind of assumed that you had a bunch of shirts with your husband's face on it. So my question is, if you were to have a shirt with your husband's face on it and then have a bunch of them, what do you think you would put on it? Cause I thought that you would have that and it's not my fault that you don't have that problem. Really. And in fact, if I may, what Justin's yearly opened up here

is an opportunity to combine the two things. Well, you need some shirts with pictures of your husband's face on the inside matching up where his face will go when he puts it over. And what's that? Put some Velcro one side on his face, the other side on the shirt face. It's not going anywhere now. Yeah.

Boom. Maybe tie it around his face as tightly as you can. That's the problem. All around. He doesn't like things tied on his face, so thus the face shirt was born. No, hold on. No. What you just said is nut-rageous.

We've figured this one out already. We've figured out when the light gets in the eyes and it keeps you from sleeping, we have a few options, honestly, to handle this problem and none of them is face shirts. Because face is also where most of the breathing work happens. A lot of the holes are in the face. A lot of the good holes are up in this zone that I don't necessarily want a shirt on.

I don't know that I could sleep with a shirt on my face. So I applaud you for recognizing that you need to get rid of these fucking shirts to save your husband's life. Could you get a shirt with a tiny TV on the back of it that drapes over your face? I think you should not watch TV tomorrow and see if he needs the shirt to fall asleep, Ricard.

He still uses them. He's become dependent on the shirt. No, I need shirt. How many shirts did you pack, sweetheart? Twice as many as I'm going to need. That's how many? Because I got to have a sleeping shirt every night. Is it a different shirt every night?

OK, that's awesome. That's so great. We got to get through the rest of these. I'll just say, I don't think your husband should be allowed to sleep anymore. Huh. Just an option. Just an option. Does that help? I mean, if it would fix it. I think it would fix it quickly. Yeah. Thank you so much. Awesome.

Thank you. Hello. Hi, I'm Elliot. I use he they pronouns. Hi Elliot. Um. And so my question is about my mom's crafts. Yeah. Yeah. So me and my sister, we live in Oregon and we- Love this city. Love this city of Oregon. It's a great city. It's not the first time he's done that either.

He's done it in other cities before and it's nothing, it's a nothing burger. Sorry, anyway. It's okay. So we're from Missouri and we both had birthdays in the summertime so we went to visit my mom in the summer to see the family and she wanted to give us our birthday presents in person so she gave us a few different presents and it was great but one of the presents that's me and my sister both got were her prescription bottles that she had spray painted black. Yeah. As a... Just for us.

Uh... If I could read the question out loud, you painted the prescription bottles black and gave them to you to, quote, put some things in. Yeah, because I think it's also important to note that she gave us four each. Wow. Four each?

So she wanted you to become geocachers or what? I don't know. So my question is, if possible, how do I tell her that this is not OK? And if I can't do that, then what do I do with eight spray painted pers- I have my own prescription bottles, but these ones are black. I spray paint my own prescription bottles, mom.

At the time when she was like, you know, to put things in, did you say like what? I did. And she said, like your dice. And I don't know, like it would be actually extremely good to watch. It's a shame they're painted black, because it would be extremely good to be like, oh, nice, what is that, mahogany? A beautiful case indeed.

Yes, I have my dice right over here. It's in my mom's pill bottle. Oh, sugar, sugar. I find this imbues them with just the right hint of mana. Ha ha ha. So there, I mean, it, but it's, was there any suggestion of illicit substance being, that's what I assumed is like, put your stash in here. See, I don't, I don't know, because like the dice was for me, but my sister's 17.

She doesn't play D&D, so I have no idea what she would do with these. Do you or your sister have a lot of small pets that are maybe near the end of their life? That your mom was like, eventually you're gonna need something to bury them in. Here you go. This is peaceful.

Yeah. Yeah. I made you fish coffins. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Got you future lizard coffins. They're more like the torpedoes they shoot Mr. Spock out of. I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles, Elliot, that this was a drugs thing. That your mom was like, hey.

But not how you think. Because prescription bottles. Yeah, because they're prescription bottles. Did you keep them? Did you keep these bottles? The bottles? My friend told me that I needed to give her them quickly before I like have to do something with them in my house,

but I do still have the four that my sister has because my mom made sure to pack them into her suitcase. Okay. So then you're gonna need to write little notes in them and then throw them into the nearest body of water until somebody else finds them. Write sweet notes into your mom and put them in there and then give them back next year.

It's filled with all our great memories of the past year. Mom, it's a special gift just for you. Now it's your trash. As it once was, now it is again. Does that help? The note can just say, put whatever you want in here, Mom. Any stuff that you... The last note is like, please fill these back up and treasure them.

Does that help, Elliot? So much. Thank you. Thank you so much, Elliot. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. We can go ahead and turn the lights back off. Yes, thank you all so very, very much for coming. We have some-

Please turn the lights off. Please bring the lights back on. It's so bright and there's so many of you. I do, I do. My eyes are closed. Oh, thank God. Thank you all so much for coming. Thank you for having us here at Road City Comic Con.

Thank you to our ASL interpreters for being so kind. Yes! Thank you, Paul, for keeping this train on the tracks. Thank you to our dad. We love this guy. I just want to record the show. That's pure Griffin bullying. I have to live so close to that.

I want it super clear. That's Griffin's pure bullying. Thank you to Montane also for these four themes on My Life is Better with You. It's a great channel. We also want to say thank you to Rachel, our sound person. Yes, and Amanda, our business manager who came out here with us, thank you all so much.

Okay, we're going to give a wish up to Fungalore. La may he reign. If you all can just help us create just a pleasing sonic bath. And then Travis, would you like to read the wish? I'd love to, yes please. Okay, so just wherever you're, whatever frequency. Whatever feels right.

Wherever you're at. Ja. I wish more dive bars would turn on the disco ball. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. She's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips.

It's better with you For life, oh It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you Yes it's true It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah, it's better with you