My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 732: Museum of Grandma Promises

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

Look, everyone is thinking it but we're finally gonna be the ones say it: saran wrap sucks. In this episode we bravely take on this and other topics, such as pulling a reverse Indiana Jones, supporting the frontline Ghostbusters, and the sanctity of collectible donut inflatables.Suggested Talking Points: Crossboner, Ebert Beast Mode, Claude Money, On Loan from the Artists Gallery, Thank you Teresa for Watching Ghosts, Too Much Show Not Enough Business, Spyuukie SeasonNative Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the side of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy.

What's up, Traff Nation? It's me your middleist brother, Travis, Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy. Art is power is sex. Yes. And politics. I'm Griffin McElroy. Citizen Griffin McElroy. Oh, God.

I'm so excited, guys. Edge in my seat. So excited. Yeah, we're edging big time. I do wish. someone would say the sort of premise of the bit. Otherwise, me and Travis sound completely unhinged right now. We're so excited because it is, Megalopolis

is dawning all around, theaters all around the nation. I actually don't know if it's going to come here. Do you think I'll be able to see it in Huntington? I hope so. Do you think you'll get to? I hope that I will get around to it. I heard Frank say, Frankie Coppola. I heard Frank say that if your city is so

much not like Megalopolis, you're not allowed to watch Megalopolis. He's not like trying to spread the message to smaller towns that they could be Megalopolis. He wants to congratulate New York City, Los Angeles. Let me catch you up. Francis Ford Copp was spent 40 years trying to make this movie about New Rome called Megalopolis. It's in the same mode as French Slangs Metropolis. He was so busy during that 40 years. He did not, from what I've heard from reports of his actions on that spend any time maybe learning about social mores that had changed that maybe... So that's not the point.

The point is that they've sold... It's part of Megalopolis. Two of his incredible vineyards to pay for the movie himself because no one believed in his vision. And so now we are finally experiencing the fruits of those labors and the fruits of those vineyards. If I may be so bold. What does that say, though?

Like, if you're a Steven Spielberg, you're a Ford Copeland. You're a Scorsese. Right? And I am. And you are. And you've made a big blockbuster famous movies. And then you go to somebody and you're like, I have an idea for a movie. And you spent 40 years telling people without a movie.

And for 40 years, they're like, no. I want to make that movie. Absolutely not. It'll be good. It'll be really, really good. Oh, we know. You make good movies. We just aren't going to pay for this one.

No way. Yeah. This idea sucks so bad. We don't want to work with you a proven successful director. You made what a lot of people consider. consider to be the best motion picture of all time. And I know you spent 40 years on this one. It's that bad, Frank.

So you know that there, everybody knows, but you know there's a scene in the movie that requires audience participation, right? I did hear about this. So maybe this is why it's not coming to Huntington, huh? This is news. So this is true, except it's all kind of a little bit wishy-washy what exactly the true truth of this situation is.

There is a scene in the movie where, Giant Adam Driver talks to someone who is supposed to be physically standing in front of the screen to deliver... I didn't know that was something we could do... I didn't know we could do that.

This is an option. Like in Mickey's runaway railroad. Yeah. If he explode the train and then talk to the Disney. And then the attendant says, right this way, everybody let's go inside the cartoon.

This scene lets you be inside Megalopolis by perfection. It's so cool. Visionary John Haleigh. Hammond's idea for the Jurassic Park tour. That's correct, Travis. It is the, yes. He spoke directly with Mr. DNA.

Now, there are some theater chains that have already come out and said, no, we won't do this. No, thanks. We can't hire actors. We expect as a movie theater that by the time the film gets to us, the whole acting has been done. Yeah, everything's actually contained within the movie. Yes. So, yes, and it seems like the line is actually pre-recorded. in the film, right?

But what this means is that you have a primo opportunity when you go see Megalopoulos, and frankly, you will probably be fighting a crowd and it's going to be part of the joy of seeing this film. It'll be like Rocky Horror. If you learn the moment, you could absolutely justifiably bum-rush the film at this point to be the guy.

Everyone will. I will, for sure. So it will take some commitment to get the time right because I haven't checked, but I have to imagine the run time of this year, baby, ain't coming in at an 88, you know what I mean? It's a 220 from what I heard, right? 220 or two hours and 218. Right.

Two hours and 18 minutes. Cool, cool, cool. So you're going to have to watch that a couple times to get the timing right. Travis, if I told you that Aubrey Plaza is playing a character named Wild Platinum, what would you say about that? Sorry, wow. Platinum? Sorry.

The thing is, Wow Platinum is the name of the... Another name from it, the Shia LaBouf is Clodio Pulcher. Oh, okay. This is what took 40 years. Wow, Platinum alone took six years. Jason Schwartzman plays a character named Jason Zanders. Okay. That's cool, actually.

That feels like that was kind of a gift to him, huh? Yeah, that's what I would change my name to if I had been him. they put Dusted Hoffin in this one Dusty Hoffman Talk about it. He is quite dusty I would say at this point Yeah

A lot of box office grime on this guy Why haven't? Hey, he was a good actor for so long Why do you be putting him in a film? Open his newspaper Any newspaper? Oh, that was Francis his whole deal. You guys don't know that he was like

I'm putting all the cancel people here. All the dusty old boys. I'm surprised wow platinum wasn't played by Roseanne Barr. We got Tim Allen. We got that guy for Mr. Show in here. We've got to walk. Fuck, man. And actually, he just recut it.

He heard about Zachary Levi, and he was like, it's not too late. I'm going to cut him in. He's got to go to every movie theater and stand in the front and deliver the line. This version sucks. I just sold another vineyard to add 70 minutes of primo Zachary Levi content. Guys, they got John Boy in this flick. Yeah, they do. He could barely talk.

I'm notting Shire LaBoebeau for the first time since Disney's holes. I saw a clip of this flick room. It's just John Voight lying on a bed with a huge boner that turned out to be a crossbow. Wait, you got a crossboater? Yeah, man. It's just in the movie for anybody to see it. I got to go see this movie. Can anybody go see this?

I guess it's rated Arson, not anybody can guess. Not anybody can guess. When can I see Megalopolis? Would it surprise you guys to know that Megalopoulos? The Megalopolis is going to have to compete against two robot films. It's a tough week. Looks like we can all have a good laugh at Frank's expense, but some of the messages of that movie, I think our gospel vis-a-vis the robots are going to take over all of cinema.

The film releases in theater is September 27th. That already happened. That's passed. Let me check. Let me do a quick fandango. Yeah. Let me do a quick tango with Fandango to see if I'm able to... What if Fandango had an option where it's like, you can get in for free if you're the guy during the scene?

Will you be in... Will you please be the guy during the scene? Do you think there's someone who goes see Megalopolis a hundred million times just so that they can have that experience of being the guy in the scene over and over it? Maybe they can put it in their IMDB credits. Yeah. I never had a major breakout role, but I was the guy in the scene of 21 screen of Megalopoulos. I was in the stage production of Megalopolis. Huntington, West Virginia, where I can see vindicating Trump at three different times, but can't see Megalopolis once.

Oh, shame. For shame. Oh, well. Hey, this is still an advice show. We still are all about helping people here, even if you can't see Megalopolis in your neighborhood. And don't. And don't. Maybe don't.

It doesn't sound very good. You don't have to. I saw somebody say, you know what? just wait until it comes to streaming and then make the choice every day not to watch it. Here's how I'm going to consume this film in a year in short clips on TikTok of people saying, check this rowdy shit. And I'll be like, don't mind if I do. I got it in and out everything I need out of Megalopolis in four minutes.

Thank you so much. Yeah. Also, Joker. I can't believe a new joke. This is just fucking like him too. He snuck one in there on us. First Joker, everyone was talking about Joker. This Joker, I feel like not everyone's talking about Joker.

Isn't that interesting? That's what makes him the craziest. Yeah. If you stop paying attention to that guy for even one second, it makes him so crazy. The people that often love to talk about the Joker the most, I would think they would love it when a woman joins the main cast as like a counterpart to him. Is there a more damning critique that a film? or television review can lay on something than this piece of media underutilizes Lady Gaga. That makes me, that all of a sudden I'm mad about the film that could have been, which was a kick-ass joke or flick.

Yeah. Stephanie's talent, underutilized. It makes me want to throw up on the floor. Yeah. This is an advice show. I've been painting every week for the past two years. Good for you. It's a weird metric.

Isn't it for how often? Once a week? Once a week? I mean, weekly. Yeah, how do you keep track? It seems like you do it on Wednesday afternoons. Very strange. And then you put a mark up on the wall.

Maybe it's a weekly painting class. I will say this, man. If I had an artistic endeavor like painting or writing or something that I could consistently do even just once a week, I would never shut up about it. Would I be able, do you think this is how healthy people are? Do you think that if I got into something? like this and I did it. Maybe I, what if I did it hyper fixate on it

and make it my entire life? What if I just did it sometimes? What if, this would be weird? What if I didn't do it sometimes but didn't feel guilty about that? And didn't lose interest. If you went more than 24 hours. I often think wouldn't it be wild to simply incorporate a new thing seamlessly into my life?

Right. Without it being my new defined. feature. Yeah, wouldn't it be interesting to have a passing interest in a hobby and not sprint to the closest fucking social media? You're having scream into it. This is my entire identity now. Never talk to me about anything else. Look at the hundreds of dollars I spent on this before ever doing a single second of it. Megalopolis was right in this regard. This one regard Megalopolis was right. I have entire drawers in my kitchen where if I open it up, I am confronted by a museum of my temporary, my temporary interests in perhaps, say, baking a bread or making a

hard candy. I see the, I see the different food droplets, the flavor juice for the hard candy, and I think, boy, I should get back to use and that. It won't happen. I won't do that. So, the next sentence of the question, since I have so many paintings, I often, sometimes I like to imagine the question asker standing there patiently. I mean, that happens during live shows quite often.

Just whenever you're ready, chef. Since I have so many paintings, I often donate or gift them. Recently, I painted a particularly cute fox taking a bubble bath. I posted it on socials and a friend commented how much they loved it. Foolishly, I offered it to them. Problem is, I've since fallen in love with it. I no longer want to give it away. Is there a way I can take back my offer?

Can I offer joint custody? Maybe they can come visit the painting when they're feeling down. or do I have to avoid my friend forever? That's from Alva. Additional info, I see this friend about once a month, usually at a mutual friend's house, pick of the painting attached. This is, first of all,

a primo photograph. I mean, this is a primo painting. Yeah, I really like it. I called it a photograph because it looks like it could be. It looks like a titled sly guy. Yeah, we got ourselves a fox in a bubble bath with a ducky in it and a lot, just a prismatic sort of.

A smattering of bubbles. It's beautiful bubble. I love the colors in it. Like, great painting. Like, obviously, like, easily the best painting of a fox in a bathtub I've ever seen. Yeah. Sure, sure. Not even close. I have a few pieces of art in my kitchen that I commissioned from a local artist, Brandy Jeffries,

and there are pictures of food you can get in Huntington, West Virginia. Yes. The Jolly Pirate donut one, the Still Life, is my favorite. They're all, yeah. They are, I should mention they're all still alive because they are food. The, the, uh, and painting. Yeah, and painting. Can you, I can take a portrait of some Jolly Pirate donuts, I guess.

So, uh, a sculpture, is a sculpture of still life? Because it ain't moving. That's a good, really a point. She, uh, recently did a, a, like, gallery show, uh, at Smith Hall at Marshall. And she asked if she could, like, borrow the, them as, like, part of the show. So, like, for a few months. like my paintings were on loan. This is where I get to the advice.

Because if you're like, yeah, absolutely, take it. And then one week later, you're like, I am actually doing a gallery show of all my favorite foxes. And could I have that fox on loan to the gallery show? And then they're like, yeah, that's very prestigious. And then you take it never, another word about it. I mean, you can also do that in reverse, right? Where I can say like, where it's hanging in their house

with a little plaque that says on loan from artist's private gallery. gallery or whatever. That's cool. Because frankly, if I had that in my house and somebody saw that, now it's taken what is. That's what I'm suggesting. I'm not sure what we lost. But I'm saying it's hanging in their house.

Yeah. Justin, what Travis is suggesting, and frankly, this is such a good fucking idea that it seems bigger and broader than this specific context is we start selling little plaques that say on loan from the artist gallery and you can put those underneath every piece of art in your house. All of a sudden, oh, this must be. be good art. It's on loan from the artist's gallery. Oh. Where did you get this art? Oh my God. The artist's gallery? Okay. Now, hold on.

Let me say instead, what if we started selling companion plaques? Oh. Because I put these up. Okay. In my house. And they said work currently on loan. Oh, and it's just an empty space. Yes. You don't have to own any art. You can just say you just put these little guys up in your house anywhere. And it's like, like this piece currently on loan to Metropolitan Museum of Art or whatever. And it's like, we should sell those. I've always been jealous of a museum when they're like, oh, there's a wing over there, but don't go in that. Something exciting's coming, which is a great cover for, we forgot to plan something for this month in that wing. I wish I could do that in my house

that when friends came over and I've like trashed a bathroom and there's just, I don't know. I've just really wrecked it in there. And there's just like a plaque on the door that says like, coming soon, something new and exciting. When you hear about like some of these big museums, like 10% of the collection is ever, like, visible and like 90% of it is just in storage. And every time I hear that, I'm like, can I just buy some of it? Yeah, sure, sure.

Can I just, is there some of the history that you would sell me? Yeah. So I don't have to come back later. Justin's sort of a reverse Indiana Jones. Yeah. Sort of a, like, it doesn't belong in a museum. It belongs in my den. Like, if you're not even going to show it, I'm saying, I got 20 bucks.

Is there any history I could have? I'll buy the dumb shit, right? I'm not talking about, like, a sarcophagus or whatever. It's just, like, old. As long as it's like old, I don't care. You got coin? You got coin back there? Like a old teapot or something.

That's fine. I'll take it. Yeah, this is like a really old. It's like so old. I bought it for $30. Like, Okay, cool, man. My thing is,

my thing is museums only showing 10% of the collection. Let's go ahead and open up nine more museums. How cool would it be every day, a new museum? How about you open the door? Let me poke around in the 90%. Let us in the back room. I'll tell you. Let us in the back room at the museum to have a quick butcher's.

Hey, let me, hey, there's a room of the museum labeled Kim Trails. I'm going to go in there and have a butcher's. That's okay by you. Take a quick butcher's. Go room by room with me and the photos I've taken on my phone of the stuff I found in storage and you justify to me why that painting is on the wall, but this like I found a fish in a jar isn't out there. Why is the painting better than the fish in a jar?

You're going to know. He can lay me pretty low much as a song I'm having a butcher's. Yeah, I know. That's it. I got direct synapse control of, uh, of juice on that one. What I bet you though, what if it does get a little rowdy back at the back room with the museum and they're like, listen, we don't put it out. We don't put it out for a reason.

Some of this stuff sucks shit. I'm not going to lie to you. You have a Claude Monet back here. Actually, that's Claude Money. And if you'll observe the art, it's not very good. It sucks. It sucks out a lot. But we made a promise to his grandma that we'd take it or whatever, but we never said we'd

display it. Yeah, most of this shit is just grandma promises estate sales where we just could not say no. Claude Money died and left behind a lot of really, really shitty watercolor pieces. And like one good one, but we can't remember which one it is and it's in the same box, and we just don't have the time. I live in a small apartment with my girlfriend, and it's absolutely falling apart. Our bathroom ceiling is simply not there anymore. We're moving soon and I hope you get some money back out of this sour situation by going through local tribunal. Okay, so we have now exited our expertise of American law.

and we have now entered into Canadian law. Do they call it tribunal up there? This is as a Canadian law expert. Yeah. I guess. If Justin McRoy wasn't on sabbatical, I would ask him. Here's the thing. Our landlord is going to be showing this apartment soon, but we don't want anyone to live here.

We wouldn't wish this on our worst enemies. We also can't completely trash the apartment to ward off prospective renters because of the whole tribunal thing. Got to go by the book. Are there ways to scare off perspective? renters without tipping off the landlord. That's from Desperate in Ottawa, Ontario. I mean, shake, shake, shake, senora. I mean, haunting is, yes, that's obvious. I mean, a little bit of that. But honestly, Griffin in this day and age, I think it's a selling point.

I don't think haunting is going to scare people away the way used to. BJ's bigger than ever. BJ's huge right now. I think that haunting is one of those things that it is attractive to a buyer until they have to stay in the house for one, for one night. And maybe that should be, maybe we should start folding that into the option period to avoid a sort of like, the house has a secret red room that tries to kill you when you go inside of it. Because I think one night living in a haunted house, like, if one of those guys wakes up one of my kids fucking once, that's toast,

dude, I got to get out of there. I think, but that's also good to have that option because it could end up being a very helpful chill ghost that I'm happy to have there. And if somebody's just like, this house is haunted, I don't want that to inherently wave me off, right? Because I don't know if it's a good ghost or a bad ghost or what's up. Are good ghosts even like a thing so much anymore? If you think about how many pieces of media we've gotten, I'm just in film critic mode, right?

And it's just talking about Megalopolis has really activated me into its full-blown, Ebert Beast Mode I think that we've gotten a lot of scary ghost media And we haven't had a good Casper or the Well they canceled dead boy detectives They were hopeful ghosts I think that we don't want good ghosts

We want bad boy ghosts We're afraid of what it would mean Ghosts Because that keeps being on CBS I think And some of them must be watching it Are those good ghosts? That's my wife. My wife is watching that They're making that every episode

starts with the audience barreling the camera saying, thank you, Teresa, for watching ghosts. I don't think in ghosts, though, they, I think if they had their druthers, certainly after the first night, they would not, they would rather not live in a house with ghosts. No, they become friends over time. From what I've seen casually walking through the room while Teresa's watching it, they all become friends.

He has one hand up so he doesn't get too scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we used to, like, the idea of romantic ghosts, what with the Swayzee of it, all. Yeah. But now people, I think it's just easier for us to parse a ghost that is universally bad because it allows us to support our frontline Ghostbusters in a way that I think is so problematic. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's true. Thank you to our first responders, which does include the Ghostbusters. I am, I've been sitting here trying to think of how can you

leave them a secret message that when they find it, they won't also think a ghost wrote this. Yeah, Fair, fair, fair. You can't, like, ride it on the shower door and soap. And so when they take a shower, if they're taking a shower in there, they already done bought the place. Yeah, that's not something you do on the two-wear. Yeah. How good are you with, like, a disguise kit and makeup and stuff? Oh, cool.

You could go in while the landlord's, like, showing it, right? And you join in on the show. But here's the thing, you don't want to seem negative because the landlord's going to kick you out. So you're going to positively mention all the negative things about it. So like you're going to see. You like, I might be crazy. Like, I like how stinky it is. I love how it is.

This is great. Oh, I love how like the bathroom ceiling is halfway to a skylight, right? We're almost just a little bit more crumbles away. We've got a skylight going. I bet I could convince our upstairs neighbor to smash through their floor so we can have a full-blown fire pole. Oh, I love that. I love how nothing works. It really gives us some projects to work on.

Yeah. You have to be scrappy in here. You should get the blinds and make them so they're halfway up on one side. And halfway down on the other side. Dude, that sucks. That's a clear sign. That's a clear sign. I would live in a place like that.

Or, and like some of them are like clipped off on the end. Like they're looking off and you can see like that. Oh, there's a little square shape. The fact that someone invented those and stopped is absolutely crazy. Yeah. You were halfway down. Someone walked into the lab and was like, that's pretty good. But how do they go up and down?

They're like, oh, fuck. I don't know. Let me fix that in eight seconds. It's like the Srainwrap guy. When the Sranrap guy is like, hey, I finished. They're like, oh, good. You've been in there for years. What is it?

How you tear? It's a saran wrap. It's perfect. Like, what if you use it? This is good for a draft. No, no, no, no, no. It's done. I like how it all sticks to itself and doesn't do anything right.

When you use it every time, is it supposed to have a gnarly tear so that half of it is half as thin as the rest of it fully stretched out like a mantaray tail? Now, I did design it for someone with eight arms to use so they could keep it spread out all the way and it wouldn't stink to itself the whole time. It seems like people are going to be doing a violent tearing motion really close to this razor-sharp serrated blade. Do you think that's good or is that bad? Is that bad? Now, does the blade cut the plastic? It doesn't. No.

Isn't that it? It's funny. Only you. Just fingers. It doesn't cut plastic. And then it just like kind of glues down to the servants on. Sometimes. Sometimes.

About one third of the time it's going to stay on what you put it on. What happens if I lose track of where it is on the roll? Well, throw it away. Get a new roll. I guess. It's the worst whatever. We've got a narrow window of time here for a very specific solution that I think would be very good. they walk into the room with the landlord there to give them a tour and a bunch of there's two bloody corpses on the ground it's you pretending to be no dead bodies for real it's you pertaining to be a dead person you have bones hanging from the ceiling and you have written in red paint like you're next and uh it stinks so bad and there's like werewolf noises and steam everywhere and they're like this apartment sucks it's so scary two people have been killed i think by a werewolf we won't take this

place next day landlord comes back like what the fuck guys you say Halloween decorations we were doing um oh i like that we were doing a haunted house for the kids for some of the neighborhood kids and you just happened to visit during that one time and also just quick sight no landlord i hate you and i hate this place and i hope you rot in hell i while i got you can i show you the ceiling hole that is not a feature in most departments it's cool sometimes because the plumbing exploded last week, but it was pretty easy for me to diagnose it because of the ceiling hole. I could see exactly where the problems were multiple places. But for the most part, it's not a good feature. I don't like it. I don't like the ceiling. And I don't like

you. Facebook? Hit them up on the FB afterwards. I don't know how to get their names. You got to bug the apartment, I guess. But that's okay because it's your apartment still technically. You can bug it for sure. As you're passing a landlord, landlord's bringing people, you pat him on the back. What's that? You've stuck a sign to his back. That says, this place sucks. Get out.

He's never going to see it. Yeah. Or, I mean, he will change clothes eventually at the end of the day. I think you're going to have to stitch this. But then he might be like, my house? Or this shirt? Just to stitch it in the back of his coat. And just hope to high heavens, he never sees the back of his own coat.

Just lock the door. Don't let him in. Oh. That will do it. You want to come see it. Wall or the key. It's a root. If the landlord comes by and he's like, why didn't you unlock the door?

You'd be like, the lock broke. Have you seen this apartment? The lock broke. Something didn't happen and it doesn't work no more. You put a chair up against it? I've seen that in movies. No one's ever getting through that. Every knob coated in jelly.

Yeah. And you don't know which knob is the right one. Ooh, that's scary, isn't it? You walk up to a door with ten knobs all covered in jelly. You don't want to get a bunch of wrong guesses. Yeah, that's true. And make that each jelly is a different. color, that's going to really fuck with them.

Because it's like, do they do different things? Yeah. I'm wearing a green shirt, so I'll go with the green jelly just to sort of minimize my... The DMs laid out all the clues. Uh-huh. Is there any kind of markings on the door that would clue me which color jelly I want to fuck with? Get a wild fox in there.

Just going absolutely, absolutely ap shit. A wild fox comes out of the bathtub and just tears the place the fuck apart. landlord goes by the next day like what the fuck guys and you're like do you think we put a wild fox do you think we put the wild fox in our the structural integrity of this place has been compromised on that we can all agree surely the fox could have found its way in a thousand different ways i think he climbed up in between the drywall like in the matrix i wouldn't put it past a fox to do that you could also just put saran wrap all over everything well that's that seems like intentional prankery then you have to buy saran Rap. Yeah, it's not great. We are going to one day look back and try and remember which episode we spent a long time dunking on Saran Wrap, and we will never be able to remember it.

We're going to add it to the compilation because I try to bring it up pretty regularly. Okay. Hey, can we take a break to do a brief advertisement? Sure. This week was sponsored by Saran Wrap. Oh, no. Oh, shoot. Farts.

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They are looking for customers. We want to drive customers to do them, okay? So here's, this is called a call to action. Okay, I'm going to tell people what to do. Are you going to do a funny voice or? No! Do Borat. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going on.

I'm returning to the points from earlier. Okay. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions for going to rocketmoney.com slash my brother. My brother. That's rocket money.com slash my brother. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother. My brother! Don't get it.

I read it three times because they're so concerned about people actually doing something as a result of hearing this ad. I'm going to say, Justin. That was amazing. Why don't you guys tell us about Stitch Fix, too, since you're so good at this. I do feel like I'm learning actively, and I'm taking, I'm going to take note. This ad juice, I'm going to take some notes just to kind of like see if I can ape your style. And we'll do the third one.

Do not worry about it. I'm going to start with Stitch Fix. The first thing I want to do is stitchfix is offer a little personal flavor. Okay. So here's a personal flavor goes. You'd like to put the personal flavor at the beginning of it. And then, guys, this bit here is where you want to put it in a little. charm, a little kiss, a little wink.

Here's what you can get a little. Like, do it. No, that's later. You want to start off with a personal time. Do they have your personal bit written down for you to read? It can be anything you want. Like, watch. So you're doing it off the dome. Isn't that scare you? I tell the truth. Here's what I said. Off the dome.

I've got clothes. And if you've got clothes, too, but you want more of them and different than what you have, you know, stitch fix. So that's a personal thing, right? I get you. said stitchfix. That's the name of the business. That's important. You got to do name of business. Oh yeah, you were kind of like teasing

it and then you're like, boom, stitchfix. And now I'm going to explain. I set up a problem. Here's the answer. Solvex. Here's the context. Stitchfix is going to give you a stylist and they are going to ask you some questions about what a clothes you want to wear. Now are you making this part up, Justin?

No, it's right the ad copy. All you got to do is free the ad copy. Okay. So you can read it sometimes. Okay. But you don't make it sound like you're reading it. Okay. That's all they're paying you to do Is not make it sound like you're reading it Okay Make it sound something like what's here

Okay So it's like a deception then Oh we're lying It's like a deception It's not, it's show It's a willing deception It's a partnership Okay

So this is where the business meets show Travis You find yourself actually at the intersection Of show and business right now Okay. And what I was a number thing. You guys are going so deep into show. You lost track of business. We got to bring business back.

Okay. It says here that I'm going to share a personal experience with Stitch Fix. So I, the temperature is getting lower. Oh, personal. Okay. I needed some new garments in a longer profile, a more warming profile. I don't know how to dress myself and I don't want to go to the mall. So I asked Stitch Fix to help and they did.

They sent me some garments. I kept what I like. I sent back what I didn't. Guess what I sent back? None of it, right? Yeah. I didn't send back any of it because I loved their choices. I've been using stitch shirts for a long time,

but I also found a couple of clothing brands that I also liked to start buying clothes from them too. And then in my last Stitch Fix, they started sending clothes from those brands. I don't know how they knew, but damn, they made shit even easier for me. I also used Stitch Fix and they sent me a box full of toys. Finest of Vice. They sent them a box full of toys just for them. Travis. Fitness device.

They brought me a box full of toys for free just for reading keys. They gave Travis a free box a toy. Now, hold on, Justin. Should we say that- My ad is almost done. And the final part of this ad is that I say, make style easy. Get started today at Stitch Fix.

I read this part exactly. It's yellow. Make style, but I try to make it sound like energy like something you'd want to do. Listen to how I do with my voice, okay? Make style easy. Get started today at Stichfix. Stitchfix.com slash brother. That's a URL.

Okay. And then it says get Stitchfix or get fucked. It doesn't. I don't think we're supposed to make up stuff. Now you've lied in the app. That's an FCC thing. Okay. Now you're up against the FCC.

Now you've got a trial. That's stitchfix.com slash brother. Okay. Now you do what. This bit is so far outside the expectations of what these advertisers want. it would actually be super cool of you all to maybe go to one of those links that we say just and maybe they'll think like is this the future of advertising is like meta meta meta deep meta comedy meta right here we go chicken dinner um square space when i uh when i uh when i match my tempo okay so personal connection square space i was stood up for my sophomore homecoming dance. Okay.

It was... I feel the intensity that I'm trying to generate for you, Griffin. I'm hearing... It is a little distracting, Justin, if I'm being honest. The standing clapping,

I will say, juice, if you can put the kibosh on that, it's hard to... I'll clap over here. Squarespace. Personal connection. I was stood up... I've got dumped

like two days before my homecoming dance in high school. So that's about as personal as I can go. Yeah, good. And then it says, it does say that's Squarespace, and now I've said the name

of the business, And I'll go off the dome for a bit. Does the most bitchen website... No, okay. What if they don't want you to curse? Did you ask? You didn't say that in your lesson, so I didn't even consider that. Did you ask?

No. Customers king. Customers king. Okay. Listener always comes first. Customers king. Wait, which one is there? Let me try again.

Squarespace. I'll never forget the day I got my first pubic hair. Okay. This is... No notes, actually. It's really sure. And then off the... Dome, Squarespace helps you build great websites.

I've used Squarespace and I built a great web. That's the personal connection. It's not an incredibly personal detail. I got confused. I saw a personal connection in my notes and I thought maybe I'll tell the Pube story. It's fucking funny. I can hand it all to you, but it's so much more gratifying to see you discover it. So Squarespace I've used to make a website for myself and it's great and it looks super

good. I don't know fucking anything about most stuff and I made a kick-ass website and that's true of all three of us. So the proof's in the pudding and the pudding is We are the pudding But SquareSpace, it's the all in one website platform If you're an entrepreneur You gotta stand out online Squarespace is a place you do it

Because it lets you make a beautiful website And engage with your audience and sell anything The content, the time that you have All in one place all on your terms He's becoming gin It's so easy They have like a bunch of different tiplets for you to choose from Oh man he said tiplets

Damn it. Fuck, man. Do I have to start all the way, do you start all the way over when you fuck up that bad? Start over, match my tempo. Okay. I'll never forget the day I got my first few.

No, just wrap it up. So anyway, you pick from these templates and you have all these options and it makes it easy and they have all these different checkout options if you sell stuff and you can upload videos and put them behind a paywall

if you want to sell access to a video library. It could not be easier. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to www.com. slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get Squarespace or get fucked.

Nope. Now more than ever, please go to those websites. It's the only thing saving us right now. Hey, it's Julian at Max Fun. Have you listened to the bonus content for my brother, my brother, and me yet? Some of the Bocco includes things that they can only share with the truly committed,

including the infamous Detroit Star Wars. War spectacular live show, a pivotal event in the Mbim-Bam lore, and an episode of Monster Factory that got left on the cutting room floor. You can enjoy those right now if you're a member of Max Fun at $5 a month or more. Now, if you're not a member, any time of year is a good time to join Max Fun at $5 a month and support the shows you love. And you get access to the bonus content for every other Max Fund show, too. There's a lot waiting for you there.

So go on over to Maximumfund.org slash join. Thank you so much for your support. Now I have to compliment your luxurious new cape. Yeah. Thank you. The cat that's not found the way to piece on this one yet. Yeah, she'll get there. It's a beautiful winter, like, fall, winter, cool months kind of cape.

I want to piss on that, and I'm human. The temperature is dropping, which can only mean one thing. Spoky season is finally a pan. What season? Spoky season. Sparky season? You said it differently both of those times. Spicky season.

You can't do it the same way two times you're out. Nowhere is scarier than in the world of donuts around this time of year because, oh boy, we got a lot of those scary ones. Everybody wants to do a scary donut. Hell yeah, man. The first is from... Make us shit our pants with these terrifying donuts. Duck donuts.

Have what's you to know as the Spooky Box! He's got the candy, spider and vanilla flavored orange buttercream. on one of them and there's a crunchy spider you eat gross oh gross no way I'm not gonna eat a spider that's too scary there's a werewolf one that has maple icing and chopped bacon and raspberry drizzle like blood awesome I like I like horror like gory horror movie so I see that and I think wow a blood donut cool if these cowards had the conviction to do it they would make it fill with like raw meat They'd be like, this isn't just a donut that looks like a werewolf.

Is it a donut for werewolves? Come on, coward. There are so many stories that I have to cover. Okay. Like, for instance, did you know that Duncan is also doing Halloween things this year? No way. Well, they kind of do every year, don't you think? They have a famous iconic donut that they bring back, you know, this one.

The spider web? The spider donut. Yeah. But they have hauntingly delicious. no treat this year. Beginning October 16th, thus guests can enjoy a brand new lineup headlined by the potion,

Magiato. The what now? You heard me, the potion Machiado, let me show you a picture of it. Then you tell me what you see. Oh. Okay, so this is Jesus Christ. So it looks like a good

three to four inch layer of dark coffee on top of to grimace shake. Coldest night. Is it ice? And it's got to grimace shake at the bottom half of it. So it's half grimace shake.

Now, what they've done here? Did you fuck with the grimace shake, Count Donut? I, no, we didn't get them where I live. Transylvania. Spain! What they've done here

that I think is an interesting stylistic choice is they did make the bottom half of the potion Machietto match everything around it, making it seem like a mistake that it looks that way. It doesn't really pop out as delicious in any way. If you are telling me that when they make one of these potion macchiados, what we have

between the coffee layer and the grimace shake layer is a razor thin, firm, just hallowcline, like where you see the warm water and the cold water pressing up. Like, this is oil and water. There is no way this keeps that definition when we're on the field. Every single, every single potion Machiaato takes 20 minutes to make and 19 minutes of that is the person carefully pouring the thing on top. Each drop of, with a dropper. We've also got another, the spider donut. Do you see this?

Yeah, I love him. It's different, though. They've changed it. They did change it, didn't they? The honor of the new purple-kewed brew, Duncan's beloved spider specialty donut is getting a makeover for the spooky season. The formerly orange-frosted donut is adorned with purple frosting this year. And as always, top of the glazed chocolate munchkin donut all treat. I don't like this at all.

If you, like me, happened to buy two different inflatables that are based around. this exact donut. Then they change it. You have two different Dunkin' Donuts inflatables. Right. So I thought it would be a limited time promotion. So I purchased two in case anything ever happened to one.

This is, so Count Donuts has now shown us the Duncan website where they were selling a spider donut inflatable. But it's orange. So like, when did they sell this? Did they sell this this year? Well, they're still selling it currently, so I feel sick for buying two of them. It feels like the makings of a class action lawsuit, if I'm being exactly like, I just feel like you shouldn't sell a balloon of something you're going to change.

Yeah. For me, this, this has permanence. I love the spider donut so much because it wasn't until I saw it for the first time that the thought of putting a donut hole in the donut hole had ever crossed my mind. It's genius. It feels wild to me that I've never just like, I can fix it. that. It makes so much sense. I want to show

you some more of their Halloween offerings. Here's what I got for Spooky Season, boys. It's all Dunkin's gear. Huh. We've got the Dunkin's truck jacket and pants. You're finally, all your kids can dress like Benjamin and his friend. Matthew? Matthew. Is that? This is for Spooky season in that their

assumption is not just adults. But children will be like, you know who I want to be. They are selling an $80 matching Dunkin' Donuts, track jacket, and pants for children. To put this on your children. This young girl that they have in the photograph does look like she is an inmate in a correctional facility who has been sponsored by Duncan in such a major, major... They are selling a Dunkin's track jacket, hat and pants, or for 45. You can get a Halloween costume. There's a lower grade version.

They have their own spirit Halloween like knockoff right next year. Spirit Halloween themselves. You can get this donut fan costume. Voodoo donuts introduce the turtle cheesecake donut to raise money for cancer awareness. Hey, voodoo donuts, you're bumming us out. Moving on.

Some of us are trying to have a little fun over here, pal. That does sound delicious, though. I don't want. And it's for a good cause. This guy isn't even a donut, but look at this Carville, Crunchy Monchy Monster.

I love him. I actually love Crunchy Monchy. Clunchy Moncton. Look how happy he is. He's incredible. I just didn't want you guys to miss him. It's not even about me. I just love this guy.

I love him so much. I didn't know your interests like hoved away from donuts for some, you know, sometimes. I'm a. I'm a multi-layered person, Griffin. Okay. And tell me you don't love this guy, Griffin.

I love Crunchy Munchy Monster. I'm trying to think about is that fondant, incredibly detailed, smiley mouth made bespoke at each Carvel location? That's a very good question. I don't have an answer for you. Lastly, I did want to mention old Timmy. Sorry? Tim Horton. Oh, Tim.

You sound angry. Get ready to be chilled to the bone. Do you have beef with Tim Horton? Get ready to be chilled of them. They got new chocolate peanut butter iced cappuccino with wacies. They got dream cookies made with rhesies and pecans. They got dream cookies made with M&M's. Dream cookies.

And then here's their big thing, right? You're going to get really excited about this. Okay. Timbits trick-or-treat buckets. So what? That's not the dude. For me to eat it, it's a bucket. Well, hold on, hold on, count on it.

Because you're telling me that you don't often have to go from one room of your, what I assume is a castle or a keep, and then get to the other room. Where do you live? Yeah. What, I live in a condo. Ah. You live in a condo in Spain.

Cool, beautiful. A condo in Spain with many other sexy coeds like myself. Can you buy a bucket of the filled, pre-filled with these little donut holes? Yeah. Yeah, so, right. You're not crazy. The idea being that you would take this bucket of Tim Beets once it's been completed with all 301. Tim Bits inside.

Here's the quote. Tim Hortons is here to help you celebrate Halloween this year with all treats, no tricks. Stop in to enjoy our delicious new chocolate candy themed baked goods and beverages reminiscent of nostalgic Halloween candy halls. And be sure to pick up this year's new edition of our Tim Bixie. trick-or-treat buckets filled with 31 10-bits of course we are so excited that our 10-bits trick-or-treat buckets have become part of so many guests Halloween traditions and are looking forward to seeing parents share photos of their adorable trick-or-treaters with their glow-in-the-dark tin-bits buckets this year says katerina gliptus the president of tim hortons u.s.

Can you scroll back up for me? You want to see that picture again? Yeah. If that's the same size as the cup, that's not very much. big, Tim Horton? No, there's been a little bit of Photoshop Mistakery happening here. Yes, they've made,

they've had some problems. I mean, straight up, Ronald stopped watching the throne for a second. That's true. Because McDonald's was the chief of the Halloween Trick-or-Treat Bucket game,

and they must have stopped doing it. Ronald has been phoning it in for a while now. Yeah. I also want to say that when I take my children to go trick-or-treating, they better come back with more than 31 10 bits worth of candy.

Yeah. This is an embarrassingly small. Look at it. If I want, I am lucky enough to have children of my own. This is what I like. Are you trying? That's a really personal question. Such a personal question.

Well, we've known each other for a really long time. It's so personal. It feels weird even to ask an imaginary character. Let's text him. Let's text Count Donut about his fertility in our group text chain that we have when we're not recording the podcast. Listen, this is what I wanted to point out. Look at this bucket.

Oh, wow. Duncan is introducing a Halloween Munchkins bucket. A must have for trick or treat this holiday. The purple bucket illustrated with a sweet Halloween motif can be filled with a 50-count assortment of Munchkins' Donald tree. The bar has been raised. If the game has changed. If you gave me a bucket with 50 Dunk, Dunkie's.

in it. I would get into some trouble that we'd get. You're going to fill it up with candy. There's a quote here I meant to read from Duncan. At Duncan, we love keeping guests fueled through every season and Halloween is no exception.

With beloved treats like our spider donut and new menu items like the potion macchiato. We're excited to give customers a delicious way to celebrate the spooky season says Beth Turn. The vice president of category

of category management of Dunkin. You sound like a very confused Cerberus at the moment. Whether it's picking up a munchkins bucket for trick-or-treating or sharing festive donuts with friends and family, or invalidating the kick-ass balloon you bought about the donut last year. We've got everything you need

to make Halloween a little sweeter. That's what everyone is doing. I will remind everyone as I do whenever Duncan is mentioned here that their donuts are inedible and you shouldn't consume them with your human body. The donuts there are all pranks and jokes and you shouldn't eat them. You're better than that. Buy local, come on. Buy local for me. Unless you live in Boston, in which case Duncan is local then.

That's what you got. Hey, speaking of local next week. Oh, wait, you can be excused, Count Donate. You don't have to do all of our back matter business. Oh, that's okay. I already let him go. He had to catch. Wow, he didn't say bye or anything.

He had an Uber waiting. But he could have said, fine. He's an Uber pool. I'll text him. Yeah, okay, yeah. I'll text him. I'll be like, hey, man, sorry we didn't get to say bye. I had a great time in the show with you today.

Also, are you trying? Are you trying? How often? Are you tracking your cycles? Yeah. Next week, We're going to be in Denver on October 18th and Phoenix on October 19th and 20 doing some of my brother. My brother, me in Adventure Zone shows.

That's Adventure Zone versus Dracula Halloween special. And first of all, go to bit.ly slash Macquarie tours to get the information and tickets for those. And if you have a question you want answered or a wish to fungalore, you want read aloud. You can email MBM at maximum fun.org and put the city name for the show. you'll be attending in the subject line. We're also going to be in Indianapolis and Milwaukee coming up in November. And at the end of October,

Dad and I are going to be at MCM London doing a whole bunch of stuff. Like I said, you can find out all the information and tickets at bit.l.l.I. slash Macroy Tour. We have some great new Trav Nation long sleeve shirts designed by Riley Woolworth

up in the Macroy merch shop. We got some other stuff in there. the Taz Balance hunger dice have been restocked up in there. So if you're in the market for a new dice set, take a look over there. That's over at mackroymerch.com. And 10% of all proceeds this month will go to Native Women Lead. So macklerch.com to check out that great new shirt and the dice and everything else. Thank you to Montaigne also for the use of our theme song.

My life is better with you. It is as we transition into fall away from summer and you're looking for a on that's maybe a little less party, a little more contemplative, this is the one for you. Yeah, this is going to get all of your brain going. If you got a Patreon.com slash Montane, by the way, Montaigne's got a Patreon right there. You can join. That's a premium follow right there. Do we have a final wish from Fungleware? Yes. Let's raise it up. Let's raise up our wish to the big man. I wish roller coasters were slower and didn't go as high. I used to Justin McElroy

I'm Travis McRoy I'm Griffin McElroy So my brother my brother may kiss your dad Square on the lips Maximum Fun A Worker Own Network Of Artist-owned shows Supported directly by you