My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 733: Congratulations on Your Powerful Trunk

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

This one is for the real nerds out there, and we mean MUSCLE NERDS! Show off those gams! Lift those Chipotle burritos and get swole! Make your eyes so strong you can see John Cena! Suggested talking ...points: Pentagram of Chipotles, Ask Me About My Tea Poster, Polar Pizza Before the Resurrection, Justin McElroy Bad News for Bots Native Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach
Starting point is 00:00:39 My life, it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like It's better, it's better with two. My life, ah, it's better with you. Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, me and advice show for the Bajonera. I'm your oldest brother Justin Macaray and I have to remind myself that every single episode is another chance to shine. What's up Trav Nation? I'm your middle-ist brother, Travis Big Dog, Woof Woof, Maceroi.
Starting point is 00:01:26 I appreciate the honesty of, you have to remind yourself to do a good show. Not to do a good show, Griffin. What he said was that it's his chance to shine, which would imply that perhaps up till now. You and I are gonna take a back seat on this one. I'm Griffin Maceroroy, the baby brother. When you crack open your email
Starting point is 00:01:47 and you see 733 staring at you in that subject line, part of you feels like, certainly that's enough of them. Right, certainly. Surely I've shown enough. Certainly that's enough of them. You get it. Like how many good flights does the pilot have to do
Starting point is 00:02:01 before you're like, he's got it, he's good. He can fudge this one a little bit. But can I remember? Every one of these is a work of art. Like every one of these is a special, individual work of art. That's true. That's true, to change hearts and minds.
Starting point is 00:02:14 I think we're also in a bit of an unexciting numerical groove. It is hard. 733, who gives a shit, man? Can you guys? 737, we can do a little plane thing. Oh, it'll be like, Sully, we love a prompt for a joke. Like, we can do, we love that shit.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Do some words you're gonna eat right through the ink cartridge of that pen. I'm real worried. Yeah, don't eat that pen. I've been there. But speaking of eating, if you guys are hungry, I've got a big announcement. That's not a, the connective tissue of that is there.
Starting point is 00:02:44 It all gets quite loose, it's stringy. Give me a second, because you know how it influences these days, and this is so topical. Everybody's doing meal deals with a thing I've decided to partner with. Happy Fourth of July, by the way, everybody. That is the date that we recorded this, obviously talking about this.
Starting point is 00:03:03 I've decided to partner with Chipotle. Okay. To do a meal deal with Travis. It is currently an unofficial partnership. Is this like when you are like a cyberpunk hero, they give you a drink named after you at the hacker bar? Yeah, sort of like that. My hope is that we'll kinda do a grassroots partnership deal
Starting point is 00:03:27 where if enough people go in and ask for the Travis, the whole label will start carrying it. I am actually hugely, don't do that. Hey, listener at home, don't do that. You don't even know what the Travis is. No, but I'm more talking about you are saying, hey, do this thing that'll embarrass you and that'll bring me some sick satisfaction.
Starting point is 00:03:45 They probably won't know what the Travis is. It won't bring me any satisfaction. Yeah, so again, like we're agreeing then, don't do this if you're listening. What you're about to hear is pure jokes, not an order. You're gonna go in and you're gonna say, give me the Travis, they're gonna say, what's that? Don't actually do that.
Starting point is 00:03:59 And you're gonna say, grab an extra, grab like a large cup, right, that you would put a drink in. Fill it with guacamole, light ice. And that's the Travis. Okay. Why is that the Travis? I guess let's start, like, Juice, how many questions do you have off the top of your head?
Starting point is 00:04:16 Cause I've got like nine. Why, why this? Why do you like this? Why this? Number one, why this? Juice and I are agreed, top priority. Why do this? Oh, because I don't like a lot of ice in my guacamole.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Okay, so that avoids that, sidesteps the question in sort of a funny way. What are you doing with all that guac? You just chuzzle that down? Well, I mean, it's good if you need it. You put a hung and you put some cling film over the top and then you got guacamole for a while. It's not a, sorry.
Starting point is 00:04:42 No, you're mistaken and confused. Chipotle is not a Tex-Mex grocery store where you go to- Stock up. Stock up your supply of guacamole. Well, that's why it's the Travis, because I'm kind of an out of the box thinker and not a lot of people stock up on their supplies at Chipotle and I would if I ever went there.
Starting point is 00:05:05 You've never been to Chipotle? I don't think so. Wait, not for jokes. Not for jokes. I am actually deeply curious if we could step out of, Travis, can I get you to break cavefake for just a moment and step out of jokes? The thing I think is most interesting,
Starting point is 00:05:22 like I'm already flashing forward to telling my wife like, honey, do you know Travis has never been in a Chipotle? I just don't think I have. Travis, step outside. Travis, please, the kayfabe, I'm gonna take it, shoop, and put it down on the ground for a minute. We're gonna put that on pause. Out of the room.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Out of the room, no jokes, only honesty, real, uncut, Trav. Please, I'm asking you as your brother to give me a real thing here. Have you eaten a Chipotle? Don't say I think I have. I need a, you would know whether or not you've done this or not. Here's what I'll say.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I can picture the interior of a Chipotle. Okay. I don't remember eating there. So if I have, it's been like once in my entire life. Yeah, no, I mean, if you can- Tell me if you've eaten that Chipotle or not! If you've envisioned the front- The memory is so malleable, it's a problem.
Starting point is 00:06:10 It has been worked. It's like a cold stone creamery, but hot and with rice and beans. Yeah, no, no, like I said, I understand the concept, and I can picture it. Let me tell you this. You get a delivery bag of Chipotle and you get out the bowl that you ordered.
Starting point is 00:06:28 What's that look like? What's that look like, Trav? What's your Chipotle order? Well, or what is the thing physically actually look like? Yeah, what are you eating in your mind's eye? Don't say a big cup of ice and guacamole. The bit's on the fucking ground still. We put the bit in the corner.
Starting point is 00:06:41 We might go back and pick up the bit, we may not. I haven't decided yet. It's kind of like a cardboard-y kind of bowl and there's like rice in it and yes other fixings and stuff Yeah, what and how do they cover it on top of it? I? Mean like a burrito. I didn't ask you to describe it for Pictionary I want you to just tell me where you order there, but I'm I'm mostly I'm conjuring. What's your favorite protein? What's your favorite Chipotle protein? I-
Starting point is 00:07:10 I don't think this motherfucker's eaten a Chipotle juice! I think he's lived a Chipotle free life! I don't think you've- Have you had Chipotle? Why are you guys treating me like a gotcha when I started the entire segment saying, I don't think I've ever eaten there? And now you guys are like quizzing me as I'm like, I don't know man man. And you're like, ha, I don't think you've eaten a Chipotle. We travel a lot, Travis. And the thing about a Chipotle is that if you're ever out
Starting point is 00:07:32 on the road traveling and you're hungry, you're hungry, you start to get a grumble in your tummy, you can reach in your pocket and take out your keys. Chipotle is close enough for you to throw your keys at it and hit it. So you can go, so that's what's like, just like law of large numbers, the number of Chipotles you've seen and decided not to eat at is so large.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I have a way of settling this, Travis. Okay. Think about your favorite Chipotle. Okay, I- Okay, think about your number one favorite Chipotle. I'm not even sure what we're settling anymore. Remember the first time you went there? To your favorite Chipotle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Are you visualizing your favorite Chipotle? Think about the first time you went there. I can't, I don't know where Chipotle is in this neck. Scroll down your delivery app of choice at your orders and scroll down and look. Yeah. See how close Travis is. 100% I don't have any delivery orders from Chipotle in my phone. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:27 It's just like, I'm not, can I just say this, listener at home, if you're getting confused or ready for this bit to end, I understand. It's truly, this is just interesting now to me and Justin and maybe only us. Yeah, we're not trying to do any jokes right now. I don't even love Chipotle. I don't eat at Chipotle anymore
Starting point is 00:08:44 because there's a lot of really great restaurants in my neighborhood now. I don't go love Chipotle. I don't eat at Chipotle anymore because there's a lot of really great restaurants in my neighborhood now. I don't go there for that, but it's crazy to have never had Chipotle. So I would say statistically in my 40 years, because I'm not gonna sit here and be like, maybe a paparazzo has like a single picture of me leaving Chipotle.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I don't wanna get gotcha'd. I'm saying statistically, I have been to Chipotle enough in my 40 years as to say I don't think I've ever been there statistically. Right? Maybe once. But I don't know that. No, Travis, no, Travis, no. This is where it keeps breaking down for me.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Okay, let's, I... I can't show you a diagram because it would dox Travis. Thank you. But there's a basically- This would be a wild thing to dox him. A wild way to get him. Wild way to go. But basically there is a pentagram of Chipotle's surrounding him.
Starting point is 00:09:33 If you were to connect the dots between the Chipotle surrounding Travis, it would make a pentagram. And I'm gonna send it in slack. Within four miles? You know what I'm fucking with? Travis' house is built on a Chipotle lay line. Maybe that's it.
Starting point is 00:09:47 If you just follow the ray, then you will eventually arrive. And you can either- Like, is there one within four miles of me? Oh yeah, 3.4 miles, 3.2? So Griff, as you can see there- Oh my God, there's a bunch. There's like a four mile radius.
Starting point is 00:10:01 So many Chipotles. Oh wow, but it is arranged in a perfect constellation. I mean, that's Travis, let me say, I kinda get it now. I kinda get it now. You're not getting a lot of Chipotle foot traffic of your own feet. So I do understand that. It looks like they're closing in on you
Starting point is 00:10:20 from this diagram. It does, it looks like a family of velociraptors is executing the pincer. Here's here is what I would just love, because we didn't have a lot of pre-planned content for this episode. No. Trav, it's coming up on lunchtime. What would you think about putting in an order
Starting point is 00:10:35 to get you some Chipotle that you can enjoy for the first time live in our program? I think that that would make for some horrible audio. There's nothing they sell there that doesn't mush up terribly. It's all mush. It's all mush. Sometimes they wrap up the mush
Starting point is 00:10:53 so you can eat it on the go, but I like to rock with a bowl of mush. I don't wanna have to just put in an order and guess at what you like, Travis. No, thank you. I also like to, I do bowl because I like to be able to see the mush also, which is important. Let's talk about Travis's first Chipotle order, okay?
Starting point is 00:11:10 Yeah, do the read order bowl, we start there. Well, I don't even know if he has the app open. Hey Trav, pull up the Chipotle app on your phone. What, I don't have the app. C-H-I in the search bar, and then it'll auto fill, and it'll show up on your phone. Yeah, sometimes you have to make a lead check. It seems like a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:11:29 If I'm on it, and I'm not saying the ordering process, I'm saying I'm looking at pictures. Yeah. Of like their dishes. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like a lot of work to eat them. Is it triggering anything within you? No.
Starting point is 00:11:43 I don't like eating things that fall apart while I'm eating them. Okay, I understand that very much. Bowl is a good way to go. Okay. So you're thinking about a bowl. I love that. A base-
Starting point is 00:11:55 I'm not thinking about a bowl. You guys are like mentalist- We're thinking bowls for this one. Getting a bowl into my head. Juice and I are thinking for Travis a bowl. I feel like I'm having a bespoke, like I'm at a tailor. And you guys are having a series of questions. I'm just responding to you.
Starting point is 00:12:11 You said you don't like when things fall apart. We have a limited set of options for people like yourself, okay? It's gotta all be caught by something, man. Travis, the other options is salad. I know you're not going there, man. You're gonna get the bowl. Bowl or burrito, but we have burrito bowls,
Starting point is 00:12:25 we have salads, we just don't know. Gotta go bowl. Produce. No, because I'm worried if we go too far down this, I'm gonna have to eat this thing. It's pretty good. It's not hook. This doesn't work that way, Travis.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Like, if we talk about the food all day, it's not just gonna show up at your house. Well, they have smoked brisket. Oh, it's plus five dollars, though. Plus five they have smoked brisket. Oh, it's plus five dollars though, plus five dollars for smoked brisket. Now you're talking. So the burrito bowl is like, is just like if you dumped it all out.
Starting point is 00:12:54 And then the salad is just the burrito bowl with some shredded lettuce in there, don't let it fool you. Yeah, don't be fooled. You can actually turn a burrito bowl into a salad by saying, let me get some extra romaine lettuce in there. Life hack. Now protein, Trav, what are you thinking protein wise?
Starting point is 00:13:09 What would be your go-to? He balked at the brisket, so I know that some of the premium options, the premium options he's not gonna go for. It's just $5 is, I mean. No, that's a huge upcharge, that's crazy. Carnitas, perhaps. Great.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Carnitas are a great choice, Trav. Tender, juicy, you're gonna love them. That's a great, I'll tell you what I love about carnitas, Trav, and I think it represents a lot of wisdom on your part, and perhaps even some systemic knowledge of chipotle you probably possess because you've eaten there before, is carnitas is a beginner, I think,
Starting point is 00:13:44 a great beginner option. It's not as assertive or spicy as a barbecue. probably possess because you've eaten there before, is carnitas is a beginner, I think, and a great beginner option. It's not as assertive or spicy as a barbacoa. It's not traditional and boring like a chicken. Oh, no, no, I will say this. Now, the chicken at Chipotle, though, does pack enough heat to put some toddlers off. Yeah, that's true, actually.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Carnitas are a nice mild option. There's the best spice to the chicken there. I just wanna warn you. Great texture. If you never eat a Chipotle, that's true actually. Carnitas are a nice mild option. There's a bit of spice to the chicken there. I just wanna warm it. Great texture. Every image poll I you would know. Great texture, really mushy. Really, really mushy meat. The perfect amount of mush,
Starting point is 00:14:13 would you just say totally? Sweet, I don't like this. No, no, no, but it's good when you get it all together in one bite. No, I'm not saying you're used to the word mushy. I'm saying that the experience I'm having currently, and this moment, occupying the body that I have right now, as you two talk to me, I'm not enjoying it. I'm not enjoying it very much.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Let's move on. Let's move on then. But now I am hungry. No, let's move on. It's a very fair, a very fair point. I think it was just too much. No, it was fair. Too much attention on, that makes perfect sense to me.
Starting point is 00:14:42 It got too real. Well, and there's also, it's hard to contribute when you've only been to Chipotle a handful of times. Yeah, most. A quantum physics number of times. Five to six times. Oh, a Schrodinger's amount of times. Which kind of their salsa is,
Starting point is 00:14:58 just to put a bow on this, do you prefer? In general, in life, I like a verde. Do they have any kind of verde? They do. No, I'm fucking here. Do they? This is a green verde. Yeah, I guess so. It's more of a darkish, darkish brownish. I have long worked a very physically demanding job
Starting point is 00:15:19 and have recently taken up rock climbing. Between all the heavy lifting at work and hitting the climbing gym several times a week, I have a lot of upper body strength and extremely well-defined arms. It's gotten to the point where my brothers Travis and Griffin- Whoa, wait! Wait, huh? No, sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:37 It's gotten to the point where co-workers in new acquaintances regularly say things like, wow, you are built, or you have really nice arms. What is the appropriate response to this? They're not being weird or creepy, and I'm very proud of my physical strength. As for muscular and trying to be modest in Manhattan, see her. My go-to. Is it so hard
Starting point is 00:15:58 to be so strong and built? Oh man, poor you with your huge powerful strong body My my go-to because this happens to me Sorry Justin just fucking in response to my things just sort of uppercut in his microphone and now he's busting I know what you were trying to do. I was going to make a crying expression with my hands. But instead you punched your microphone like a real underprofessional. I was rubbing, wiping tears out and then it occurred to me that that's not going to read on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:16:38 It was a weird energy. But it occurred to me as I was hitting the microphone so I just bailed on the action. So it looked like I was just hitting the microphone, so I just bailed on the action. Yeah, it's cool. So it looked like I was just hitting the microphone and then stopping. I didn't even like the energy of the bit I did, and I was like, hopefully we'll just move on from that, but Justin really hung a lantern on it with that uppercut.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Travis, I apologize for interrupting. No, no, no, it's fine. This happens to me all the time. I've got powerful fish lifters. You just hit them with a, huh, these old things? That's great. I love that. That's good. I am really torn because I've been telling my kids that we just don't comment on people's bodies ever. That's been kind of the hard line that we have drawn at our house is just see everybody's kind of a shapeless spirit.
Starting point is 00:17:24 our house is just see everybody's kind of a shapeless spirit. This is just live. Right. I, I feel like I don't necessarily, I feel like nobody should be talking about anybody's bodies at all. Just the period. But the question isn't about them complimenting other people's bodies. Trust me. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:17:37 But other people hear this too. Right. And so I'm, I just wanted to point out that a much better thing might be in your day-to-day life to just like not, just be like, hate choice, anything really. I'll tell you what I don't like about complimenting only muscles is like, if someone is like wiry or stocky in like a cool way, that one doesn't get much sort of commentary
Starting point is 00:18:03 because you can't walk up to somebody and be like, hey, you're stocky in a way I like. I think that's a wild sort of- You look difficult to knock over. Yeah, what a sturdy individual you are. Wow. See? Great trunk.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Powerful. Don't tell us how they were. Powerful trunk. Powerful trunk. Congratulations on your powerful trunk! Look at this immovable oak over here, this redwood. Why do I have to solve the problems of someone who is so physically strong, hm?
Starting point is 00:18:34 True. Why do I have to solve your physically strong people can be emotionally weak? We just, just to clarify, we are the mouse pulling the thorn out of the lion's paw. We help this strong, like, muscly person so that later, if bullies come to try to get us, we can say, careful now, we have a strong friend.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Yeah, we helped them. We helped them, kind of, a little bit. That's why in, like like TV shows and movies, you never see like, oh, here's the strong person and here's like the nerd person and they work together because one, or you never see like the nerd be like, I'll help you with your homework
Starting point is 00:19:14 and you help me with bullies. And then the jock is like, I'm a straight A student and I've got a scholarship to Harvard. And then the nerd's like, oh shit, I don't have anything to offer you anymore. That never happens. Yeah. I think the bigger problem is not what you do
Starting point is 00:19:33 with your mouth and saying, but what happens with the arms. Oh yeah. Because I'm thinking about if I'm carrying a baby or something and people are like, wow, nice arms. I'm immediately- They might be talking about the baby. Maybe, but I'm immediately so aware of what I'm doing with them, right?
Starting point is 00:19:51 I'm immediately like, I guess I should not flex or flex more to show it off better. That's a challenge they have posed for you. Great arms. Am I, should I show them the full, like if they're like, oh, if you're interested in arms, let me show you what their full is. Let me show you all the different features they got.
Starting point is 00:20:10 I can show you. Oh, a pair of arms. They can do this. When you're holding the baby, you're in the fucking zone. Don't take me out of my zone, I'm in the zone. I need total concentration on this. That is true. When I'm in my office.
Starting point is 00:20:23 But that's why I like these old things, because there's enough of a humorous response that you can get away with even flexing a little bit more, and everyone's like, how playful, right? And you say, oh, these old things? And they're like, ah, what a bashful, playful response while still showing off all the special features that their arms possess.
Starting point is 00:20:40 I have shed pretty much all of my knee jerk dislike or judgment of people with big strong bodies because what I've learned is a lot of them are just like, they're strong nerds. Like they're nerds about getting, watching physical 100, that's a hundred big nerds that care only about muscle stuff and sports stuff, but they're like nerds about it.
Starting point is 00:21:09 It's interesting. And so to me, it could be they're trying to get you into a conversation about like, how do you do your shit? I think that's interesting. Cause you do it and you take it seriously and you get strong cause of it. That's neat.
Starting point is 00:21:22 That is neat. Just don't be a jerk with your might. That's the big problem that we at All-Haw have. Responsibly. They might also be looking for a not weird way to ask you if you would like just pick them up and carry them around for a while, cause I would like that. I'm tired, I'm so tired.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I have to pick my kids up all the time and there's no 12 foot like adult behind me who then picks me up while I'm tired. Yeah. That's all I want. And once the boss starts doing it, it's gonna be like, is the boss being passive aggressive? Is the boss threatened by me? Cause I'm like way huger than the boss is.
Starting point is 00:21:52 No, they just wanna be carried around. Do you worry that people, that you need to direct people to other muscles that they should enjoy as long as they're around? If you like these, wait till you see. This is just what's on the schedule. Let me take you on a tour. I'm gonna hike my pants. I want you to see my quads.
Starting point is 00:22:09 I am gonna hike my pants way, way up. Like, I need HR in the room while I do this. It's just quads. Well, that's, I mean, that's what would happen if someone admired, like, you're playing Pokemon cards, whatever, and they said, that's a great one, you bet. Well, let me show you some of my rare cards, right? Yeah, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Why can't I do that with my muscles? Let me show you muscles other people don't have that I've developed. I've collected all the muscles. I mean, I'm really having a hard time imagining being strong. Do you wanna see my muscles, Joseph? I'm really struggling for the bit.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I'm trying to come up with some jokes that I might do if I was a strong person. You have powerful legs. And I'm really struggling to. Let me tell you, man, sometimes you come up to me when we're on tour and you give me a little back rub, a little shoulder massage, and that shit is fearsome. That shit is effective.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Yeah, that's true. I guess I am very strong. Thank you, Griffin. And you're a shorts wearer and I've enjoyed your quads and calves. Absolutely sweet. I mean, we all have pretty great gams. It's a sort of-
Starting point is 00:23:08 My gams could be better. I'm at arms, man. I could have better gams. I know that about myself. I'm trying. Hey, I know we're getting close to money zone time, but before we do, I just wanna do a quick, this could be a new segment on the show if we wanted to,
Starting point is 00:23:23 just a quick background check, which is to say like, let's sort of do a quick audit this could be a new segment on the show if we wanted to, just a quick background check, which is to say like, let's sorta do a quick audit of all of our backgrounds. Obviously, mine's sort of very shelf forward where I try to show off some of my favorite stuff. And then Juice has the sort of like paneling behind him, and he'll put up a few of his little 3D printed little toys up there, and I think that's so cool.
Starting point is 00:23:45 And then Travis used to have more plants and fish in it, and now I see there is one plant and a skeleton, and then we also have, I believe that is a plushy Donkey Kong. That is a plushy Donkey Kong. I got that from- A claw machine, I'm guessing. While we were doing Donkey Kong Country. And so I put him up there.
Starting point is 00:24:07 There's also a little statue thing of Merle Magnus, Taco, and Angus behind me and our, of course, YouTube play button that we got for getting- Still sucks. Still sucks that you just took that. It's hidden behind plants. Like he's not even in the plants. I wouldn't even hide it.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I would put, I would honestly, Trav, I would swap the positions of Donkey Kong and the YouTube Play Award. Do you want me to 3D print your frame that just says Trav's is button? But hide Donkey Kong, because we don't even do him anymore. Ah!
Starting point is 00:24:36 Oh no! Trav's dropped his skeleton off the thing. Yeah, the YouTube Play button, give it a more featured position. And then don't- It's hard bragging, I think it feels bad bragging about the silver, doesn't it? I mean, it's kind of the worst one you could have.
Starting point is 00:24:51 It kind of puts an exact cap on your popularity level. It's like, this is exactly how famous these guys are. Well, we only just started doing YouTube stuff. I feel great about it. It's just a few years ago. Our YouTube channel's like what, a decade old? Travis, that's way better. That's way better, man.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Now you look like a pro. I feel like I'm showing off. Travis, please. Where does your light belong? On the canals thing or under the bushel? You're right. Yeah, you're right. Don't hide it under a bushel, oh no.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Put it on your show. Have to be a pretty big bushel. Put that YouTube silver word up so that everyone in the house may enjoy it. At my local coffee shop today, I noticed wrestler John Cena dropped by. I doubt it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Just calling our- Hey, hey guys, have we ever done this before when they asked the question and we're like, you fucking liar. I doubted that they saw him. Okay, I mean, let's unpack this then. I thought that, I don't follow wrestling, but I thought there was something about you can't see him.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Oh gosh, okay, now I get it. I'm so sorry. No, I was out of my lane. No, this was my failing and it's the way I have lapsed as a wrestling fan, I forgot that that was his. Blew it again. You didn't blow it. You did a kickass joke.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Me and Travis blew it on that one. We didn't do a very good job. So anyway, Saul John Cena asked a barista later and was told he visits regularly. Obviously the best thing to do with this information is nothing, which I will admit that you've already failed by writing this email,
Starting point is 00:26:26 but moving on. But this is the next degree closest to nothing. This is next to nothing. Yes. And let him go about his day. But if given the opportunity while he's around, brothers, what might be the most impressive way to order and drink a coffee or tea?
Starting point is 00:26:40 Oh, my friend. I think that this is too short-sighted. I don't think there's an impressive way to order a drink or a tea or whatever. That said, I do think there are impressive things one could be doing in a coffee shop at a table that would be noticed and appreciated by anyone, let alone Jonathan Sina.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah. Yeah. Like playing chess against yourself, right? Spinning the thing around, that's gonna get noticed. That's gonna get noticed. Finishing your novel and loudly announcing, it's finished! When you slam the laptop shut, something like that would be appreciated.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Yeah, that's not gonna work. I do think you would have to do a pretty extreme version of it, of like closing your laptop and be like, hey everyone, I just got engaged. Then John Cena might look at you and be like, great work. I don't think anything less than a fresh engagement. My wife's in labor.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Fucking John Cena will turn into- Carry me to the hospital, John Cena. Well, no, see, let's, let's talk about expectations. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You will never be John Cena's friend. Never ever. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Wow. Never ever, ever, ever, ever. You don't know that. No, I know that. I'll never be John Cena's friend. Neither will Justin, neither will Travis. It will never, ever, ever happen. Never, ever, ever, ever. Oh my God. You guys haven't heard of manifesting. Come on the seat. No, I've got it written on my board
Starting point is 00:28:09 No, we'll never be John Cena's that's why I wouldn't care to see John Cena in green room If there's no chance I'll ever be the person's friend. I think it's great to see a celebrity Yes, Gracie and famous person cuz I will feel no pressure I see someone like, I bet we could get to be friends. Then it's all out the window. It's chaos. It's pandemonium. Sometimes I forget how polar opposite we are in some regards.
Starting point is 00:28:34 That's cool though. It takes a village to make a podcast. Travis, I wanna hear how you would wear down John Cena. No, no, no, I'm saying, but the difference was when I see somebody and I'm like, I could be friends with them, that feels good. When I see a celebrity and I'm like, that's so far out of my way, I suddenly panic.
Starting point is 00:28:51 No, but like Travis, I'm saying, if I had to do this thing that this person is talking about, and I was like, Arsene Lupin, and I needed guidance, you were the person I would come to, and I would be like, Travis, help me plan this friendship heist. And I'm asking you as the best of the biz that I know what would be your strategy
Starting point is 00:29:12 to bring down by which we mean. And then wait, just let me get on your other shoulder here and say that I think that this bit could trend towards levels of kind of hypnotism or running some sort of con or other sort of things that might remove John Cena's agency in some way. And let me just get ahead of that, let me just get ahead of that and say, don't do that.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Because people do not like that. By doing this, by saying it out loud, I am trademarking it and no listener is allowed to do it. Okay. But if you ever, if part of it is putting him in a big box. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Calling him Brocktoon. I would never Brocktoon him, no. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I would, he gets in line a couple of people behind me, right, and I would lean into the- Tell me how you orchestrate that. First of all, stop there. Tell me how you orchestrate it so that John Cena gets in line a couple of people behind you. I'm saying if it happens, he comes in here often, right? I see it, I'm in.
Starting point is 00:30:00 But in my head, you just rolled out the map and you like, and like turn on the light above it You're like you're assuming but here is his plan Hopefully he will end up two customers behind me I have orchestrated this and that's not how I operate my man. I'm in there. I see an opportunity But you don't see this is what I'm saying, Travis, you don't see the opportunity You got to the store before him and there's two people behind you and then John Cena. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:30:28 There's no fucking way. Cashier, he comes in, I lean into the cashier, I say, like his, you know, actually like 15 bucks, I wouldn't pay for whatever he gets. Yeah, I'm a big fan, don't make a big deal out of it. Right? Right. So his order is covered with whatever he orders, right? Is this at a start?
Starting point is 00:30:46 So this is at just like a cafe, okay. Yeah, in these circumstances, right? And then if he decides to say something like, oh man, I really appreciate it, thank you so much, right? Because he's a regular, I'm not taking this opportunity as like a one-time chance. There will be more opportunities, yeah. Now he at least has some kind of recognition of who I am.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Rome was not built in a day. And now there's an opportunity to perhaps engage in conversation the next time or a shared interest is present. But I think that that is also true of literally anyone. Yeah, sure. Outside of that, where you see someone reading a book that you've read before, you say, I love that book.
Starting point is 00:31:25 That's a great choice, whatever, right? Some kind of introduction, not going to change, you're not gonna write books about how great this introduction was. But just a chance to start a conversation. It is more high pressure though than a conversation with a normal person, because when you're talking to a normal person,
Starting point is 00:31:39 you're not running the risk of making such a big boner that they go on their wrestling show that night and they're like, this fucking jabroni tried to buy my drink at Drink, Drink More. No way. His name was Travis McElroy. Like, and then like you're done in that town. Can you imagine though, hey Griffin, in that scenario.
Starting point is 00:31:57 That's a win for you. John Cena gets up and like a fucking like SmackDown or whatever and starts talking shit about me? Are you kidding me? I'm over the moon. And then fuckin' Brock Lesnar comes out and is like, I actually like Travis McElroy. I thought graduation was good.
Starting point is 00:32:16 He's an acquired taste, but it's just fuckin' it's not for everybody. He's trying to fix it right. Yeah, and he's, listen, I like him and I get that he's not funny, but that's the humor! Brock Lesnar with a fucking knife tattoo and a fucking Trav Nation tattoo on his other peck. I like that shit.
Starting point is 00:32:34 I got, oh, I think I got this cracked wide open, guys. Oh, boy, okay. You ready? You're John Cena. Yeah. You're John Cena and I'm me, all right? Wait, which one of us? Both of us are John Cena? We would equal half of a John Cena. You're both John Cena and I'm me, all right? Both of us are John Cena? We would equal half of a John Cena. You're both John Cena and I'm me.
Starting point is 00:32:49 All right, okay, wait, let's fuse. Ah, yeah! Can you not make this about you guys? Thank you. Oh, sure, sure, sure. My apologies. Yeah, it's okay. It's no problem. Piece of gum, Mr. Cena? Yeah. That's the whole thing!
Starting point is 00:33:04 That's the whole thing! That's the whole thing. I thought we were gonna have to interact with it. No, no, no, listen, listen, listen. Please, ago, Mr. Cena? Okay. The confidence that you're projecting is truly outrageous. I'm loving the confidence. Can you try to get away with John?
Starting point is 00:33:19 Wait, what's this? What's slapping the leg? I just wanna keep it where you take, can you do a take where you say John? Yeah, yeah. And raise your mic up too, so you don't have to hunch over like a little, like a cool piece of gum John.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Whoa, why did you yell? Why did you just yell at me, Jabroni? I'm gonna talk about you on SmackDown tonight. What's your full Christian name? Give me a stick of, give me stick of gum John. Stick of gum John? Stick of, do you like a stick of gum, John. Stick of gum, John? Stick of, do you like a stick of gum, John? Ooh!
Starting point is 00:33:49 John? Hey John, John. I wanna refer you to an elite unit. Give me a Mr. Cena. Give me a Mr. Cena. Stick of gum, Mr. Cena? Mm, yeah. Stick of gum, Mr. Cena?
Starting point is 00:34:00 And then if he says yes, then we're friends. If he says no, he's getting coffee. And eventually he's gonna be like, I probably should take this poor guy's gum. It seems really important to him. And then he starts to rely on that gum, right? Cause then maybe that day someone's like, hey, John, great breath today.
Starting point is 00:34:18 And he's like, thank you, I had a piece of gum. And then it's like, you're a lucky charm maybe, right? Eventually he'll say yes, you'll be friends. And in this universe, sorry, John Cena doesn't know where to get gum from outside of you. That's a very important question. Whoever thinks of picking some up. Look, I got a jumbo bag of Eclipse on my desk right now.
Starting point is 00:34:37 No problem, Mr. Cena. He's not gonna have it walk around a jangly- That's not a stick of gum though, right? Those are little sort of tablet gums. Cube of gum? Chickletab? Chickletab of gum, Mr.? Those are little sort of tablet gums. Cube of gum? Chickle tab? Chickle tab? Chickle tab of gum?
Starting point is 00:34:46 Mr. Cena? This is great juice, I know. Coffee candy? Mr. Cena? Moist towelette? Moist towelette? Mr. Cena, would you like my pocket knife, Mr. Cena? Any help today?
Starting point is 00:34:56 Would you like my cash, Mr. Cena? Let me just ask you, how many pieces, in all the times that we've been lucky enough to have FaceTime with our audience, how many sticks of gum have you accepted from them? How many sticks of gum? Okay, but here's the problem is that we're colleagues in this situation
Starting point is 00:35:16 because we just go to the same coffee shop, right? So, there's no power dynamic. There's no power dynamic, right? You have to pretend like you don't know him. Maybe, yeah, no Mr. Seen- Hey, I got enough gum here for everybody in the place. You offer it to some people, and then you say, you big stranger. Yeah, or piece of gum, mister.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Just like, hey, you're the Undertaker, right? You want some gum? Yeah. I'll hit him egging. I don't know if that's good or bad. I think people would be pretty stoked. Hey, small fry, piece of gum. That way, let him know you see him just as another.
Starting point is 00:35:46 And now we can go back to the other question about being strong and being complimented on your strength. This is really a holistic episode. I think we're helping everybody. This one's for the strong ones, for sure. Ever been to Chipotle, Jon? If you told me, if you told me Jon- If you told me John Cena had not.
Starting point is 00:36:04 There's no fucking way John Cena doesn't pound. Because at Chipotle, you can get as much protein packed into a little bowl as you possibly, as you want. So definitely John Cena eats a Chipotle tooth. But he doesn't go with himself, right? No, he doesn't fuck, he doesn't do anything himself. If you're asking me if John Cena has ever physically been inside a Chipotle,
Starting point is 00:36:25 I want to say it's no, right? Like no feels like the answer to me. If you, or Griffin, are you googling for pictures of John Cena in a Chipotle right now? I'm trying to tell. I'm trying to find it. I'll tell you what, you won't find any pictures of me in a Chipotle, but that's not because who cares? Yeah. But that's not because who cares like yeah, he's there No, I can't find it. I'm coming up short. I'll also say trap I think they got some of the best chips in the business when they're hitting okay Let's go the money's up Did you guys know that John Cena used to be a character in WWE called the Doctor of Thuganomics?
Starting point is 00:37:09 No. No. No. No. No. It sucks so bad. If you told me the Doctor of Thuganomics had not been to a Chipotle,
Starting point is 00:37:19 I would push you over physically. You're lying to me. If you have been putting something off for a long time, part of the problem may be that you just haven't made it convenient enough for yourself. If I have a task that I hate doing, maybe it's not that I'm a procrastinator. Maybe it's just not the right size of commitment.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Maybe you gotta take it a little bit step at a time. Let me give you one example. That thing you've been trying to mail and it's like such a hassle because you gotta go all the way down the post office. You gotta wait in the line, you gotta talk to the people and you gotta find the parking and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:37:55 What if you do all of it at your house with stamps.com? Wait, do I have to deal with the people at my house? Or the parking? Only if they barge in on you. If you lock the door, you won't have to deal with anybody while you're doing all of your shipping business. All you need to make this work is a computer and a printer.
Starting point is 00:38:12 They'll send you a scale so you can measure out what you're sending and they've got huge discounts. It's not just more convenient. You can save like 89% off at USPS and UPS is part of this. So make this one thing, mailing stuff, just a little bit easier. Maybe make it a little bit easier on yourself to get some of this stuff off your to-do list.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Free up more time for more important business with stamps.com. Sign up at stamps.com and enter code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage. Whoa! Free digital scale. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:38:51 No long term commitments or contracts? That's stamps.com. Sorry, I always forget the listeners can't see the video. Tony Hawk just showed up and started doing all the work. Yeah, that's stamps.com code mybrother. Stamps.com and the code, my brother, stamps.com. And the code is my brother. Ego some John Hodgman.
Starting point is 00:39:13 At Ego some Janet Varney. And we're the hosts of E Pluribus Motto, a podcast dedicated to exploring the mottos of every state in the union. Every episode, we will spotlight one state and discuss its official symbols, the motto, flowers, birds, beverages, songs, and even official state muffins. Plus we'll hear from guests whose lives have been inspired by the state's iconography
Starting point is 00:39:34 and from residents, who call that state home. Bring some snacks, a map, and your travel journal because this podcast is a virtual journey like no other. Au di nostrum e pluribus motto quaili battalia luni di maximum fun. And for the Latin challenged among you and us, listen to e pluribus motto every other Monday on Maximum Fun. Since 2017, Maximum Film has had the same slogan. The podcast that's not just a bunch of straight white guys.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Ooh, we've learned something over the years. Some people out there really do not like that slogan. The podcast that's not just a bunch of straight white guys. Ooh, we've learned something over the years. Some people out there really do not like that slogan. Listen, we love straight white guys. Well, some of them. But if there's one thing we can't change, it's who we are. I'm Ify, a comedian who was on Strike last year in two different unions. I'm Dreya, I've been a producer and film festival programmer for decades.
Starting point is 00:40:22 And I'm Alonzo, a film critic who literally wrote the book on queer Hollywood. You can listen to us talk movies and the movie biz every week on Maximum Film. We may not be straight white guys, but we love movies and we know what we're talking about. Listen to Maximum Film on Maximum Fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. I won a $10 gift card to a local tea shop. The prize package included this faux movie poster, made to promote the return of one of their flavors. They made some fake trailers on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I have no intention of hanging the poster, but I feel like I can't throw it or give it away. What do I do? That's from impossibleoster in Post Falls. So the post. Idaho? ID, yeah, what other state would that be? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:41:13 The poster, because this is a visual, is primarily an audio medium, is for a film called The Tarot Returns. And by film I guess I mean flavor, and it's just a picture of four people sitting in chairs. And that's about it. It's pretty dramatic. It's very dramatic looks on their faces,
Starting point is 00:41:32 and they are all wildly different sizes. Like wildly different sizes. And I think I would say, I think, I think the scale here would denote a level of importance within the flavor, like the rankings here. The way it is composed, it looks like this would be like a movie with not a huge budget, but they did get Christian Slater to be in it.
Starting point is 00:41:56 And so in the poster, Christian Slater is like four times the size of any other dude. I guess there is one thing I want to address with the makers of the Tarot Returns. There are four people featured prominently in this poster and only three names listed. So there must have been some kind of crediting dispute. Well, the other one's Christian,
Starting point is 00:42:13 like you know that's Christian Slater. You don't even need to put his name on the poster. Yeah, this is tough sometimes, but you gotta remind yourself that it's not, it's not, it doesn't have feelings. Like it doesn't, you shared the image, right? You've captured it for history. That's a great point, Chus.
Starting point is 00:42:29 You have, I will say, by sending this in, extended its power, extended its reach. Dramatically, dramatically. Dramatically, right? I mean, Travis picked the question out to include in the show, so really a lot of the credit goes to Travis. I bet you this will end up on our Tumblr or something. Instagram, some, you know,
Starting point is 00:42:47 you'll see it out there. Justin, I would like to- But it's done, it's work is done. Yeah. I would like you to tell me if I'm wrong, Justin. I think you'd put this up in your home. Would I? Justin McElroy. I think that if you got this from a local cafe where you won a $10 gift card,
Starting point is 00:43:04 and you were given this poster and you could put this up in your home and have people say, sorry, what is this? Somewhere in your home, you would hang this up. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I went in a heartbeat. Yeah, that's probably true. I did steal the beer prices sign that they hung up during Margaritaville because someone had used AI art to create it
Starting point is 00:43:28 and it is truly outstanding. There's a lot of real unpredictable geometry and a lot of extra teeth in Mr. Buffett's head. Awesome. I do, I mean, lots of people pay tens of thousands of dollars for these priceless works of art, just so that they can have a topic of conversation when they do invite guests over to sit
Starting point is 00:43:54 and socialize in the drawing room. This is a free poster you got for not a lot of money. And it actually came with money. You got $10 extra for coffee stuff or tea stuff. And so that's great. If I walk into your home and you have a fake movie poster for something called the Tarot Returns with three names before boys,
Starting point is 00:44:17 I'm gonna wanna know what the story is with that. Do you know those people? No. Are they friends of yours? Are they friends of yours? Huh? No. What is this movie? It's not. It's not a movie. It's a tea flavor. It's a flavor?
Starting point is 00:44:29 It's a flavor. Huh. So you like tea? Let's talk about that. Are they friends or are you guys closer? No, I don't know. Dude, this is such a fucking good one because they learn a lot about you that you like tea.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Every first date you should demand must be in your drawing room. And you walk in- And you can play a game where you're like, what name do you think corresponds with what person? What do you think your relationship is within, like, the group? Who's the shy one? Who's the bad boy? You know, one of them. Is it possible that one of them is named Taro?
Starting point is 00:44:59 Is that possible? Maybe. And maybe his name is just Taro. So when it says the Taro Returns, it's like, it's not just talking about the plant, but rather the man also named Tarot. I don't know, I like that though, it's a cool, strong name. I'm also not entirely certain
Starting point is 00:45:14 what location they're at in this photo. It looks like a dark room that someone's being held against their will in somewhere, maybe. I am threatened. I guess that's the question I have from the creators of Terror Returns when you're making this poster, assumedly, so that people will come in
Starting point is 00:45:31 and buy the tea that you're making. I feel challenged. I feel threatened. Yeah. That like, if I walked in and said, can I have a Terror thing? They'd be like, it's not for you. It would be not for you.
Starting point is 00:45:43 You don't deserve it. I also would have put more shit on the poster about what the tea is and what it's like and the flavors it brings and how long you're supposed to brew it. Maybe that it is tea at all. That it is tea, that's a good point, Travis. There's a drink, a consumable, maybe the name of the shop.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Maybe any pertinent tea tales. But let me tell you something, let me tell you something. I'm glad that shit's not on here. You know why? Because I walk into your home and I see that and then it's like, yummy bug tea shop. I see that and I'm like, oh, let me tell you something. I'm glad that shit's not on here. You know why? Because I walk into your home and I see that and then it's like, yummy bug tea shop. I see that and I'm like, oh, it's a tea poster. That would ruin it.
Starting point is 00:46:10 I'm not asking you about your tea poster. Like that sucks that you have that up. But a mystery poster for a film that doesn't exist? Ugh. Yeah, I wanna know about that. You like tea, huh? My grandfather brewed tea. Like this date is going so well.
Starting point is 00:46:27 And all you have to do is go to your drawing room with them. Let's take them straight back to the drawing room. That's what I'm saying, date one, right to the drawing room. You learn everything you need to know about that person based on how they look at your fake movie poster for tea. Duh-la-la-la-la-la. Okay. Duh-la-la-la-la-la.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Little bit. Duh-la-la- I want to munch Squad! Junior, what could munch Squad Junior? It's a podcast that's in the podcast profile in the latest edition of Span Eating. Within a podcast, it sounds like. No, it's just a shorter version. It's a mini-bite. We call them snacks. We don't. We've never done that.
Starting point is 00:46:56 I'm not sure what that is. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:04 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's a podcast within the podcast profile in the latest podcast. It sounds like no, it's just a shorter version It's a mini bite. We call them snacks. We've never done that But I just did want to mention a quick thing About baski robbins because I think that it's important that if we don't call out these brands for Immoral behavior then nobody will so I wear the last vanguard of morality. I wanted gonna take a second to talk about this. Okay, I'm gonna share with you the imagery. Introducing wickedly tempting new treats, Twix caramel crunch and the spooktacular polar pizza.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Now, oh man, until the last two words of that headline, I was like, yum yum, sounds all good to me. Hmm, don't let your sweet tooth down this spooky season. Get ready to indulge in the ultimate Halloween treats. If you're looking for some hauntingly delicious desserts, Baskin-Robbins is introducing new flavor of the month, Twix Caramel Crunch. I'm very interested.
Starting point is 00:48:02 Yep, thumbs up. And the scary good Sputacular polar pizza ice cream treat so they're gonna need to sell me on that one that one I'm not so sure flavor the month Twix caramel crunch. Okay Okay, see it's got I'm not even gonna talk to you about what's it. It's like It looks good It looks good, right? Now, here's the spectacular polar pizzeria. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:48:26 It says, step into the Twilight Zone and enjoy this pre-sliced shareable dessert. What? This is what I wanna add. This is what was bothering me. And before we get deeper into this, I wanna say, just admit you forgot it was Halloween. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Just admit that when you were coming up with flavors and stuff You didn't remember it was Halloween stop trying to pretend that you need to be scary Justin, could you read the last sentence of the Twix caramel crunch paragraph? Yes, Travis. Thank you. That is the next sentence. I wanted to read. Thank you. Good I available while supplies last. Make sure to grab Twix caramel crunch before it ghouls away. Okay, listen, that doesn't make it scary. And it also doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Ghouls away. I think, I mean, you could change, you could change a handful of words in any of these and have it be like, grab the cookie crunch polar pizza before Santa Claus comes to deliver the presents before Christ's resurrection. Uh oh.
Starting point is 00:49:32 You're a lover and you can share this sextacular polar pizza. Say thanks to dad with a dadtastic polar pizza. Also, the pizza itself looks like you gave free reign to a child. Dude, it is a child's fantasy of, it's a child's fantasy snack. Can we describe it?
Starting point is 00:49:53 They also take one bite of, and they're like, I actually got too much. I'm gonna read, I wanna read this paragraph actually without editorializing it, it's gonna be really difficult, but I'm going to. You can also enjoy our flavor of the month in our delicious new Spooktacular Polar Pizza. Step into the Twilight Zone
Starting point is 00:50:10 and enjoy this pre-sliced shareable dessert featuring a chocolate chip cookie crust topped with Twix caramel crunch, M&M's milk chocolate candies, Halloween sprinkles, and drizzle with fudge topping. It's perfect for sharing with your ghouls at your next Halloween party. You guys are really stuck on ghouls, huh?
Starting point is 00:50:29 Yeah, I got ghouls in the frame. But you've also used them in two different ways. Yeah, exactly, like they're admitting that they know about ghouls. It's not a joke. I feel like this does slightly read like you put in an AI prompt for a press release for these two items,
Starting point is 00:50:45 and then you were added, like add to previous order, Halloween ghouls. That's right Griffin, the bots think that they can just write these on themselves because nobody's watching, but bad news for you bots, I'm watching. We're fucking watching dude. Justin McIlroy and his brothers are out here watching every movie you bots make.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Don't think you can get one past me. I know that no human broke schools twice in one paragraph. Just admit that you forgot. Just admit you forgot. Also, I do like that they have shared as a bullet point that this is pre-sliced. Because at the point I would be at where I would buy one of these, that would be a major plus. Dude, it- Well, cause you're probably too stoned to safely operate a knife. Yeah, no kidding, dude. This shit looks bananas.
Starting point is 00:51:37 It looks like the carpet at the Portland airport. This fucking shit looks crazy crazy. It's also ice cream, so you know all of those M&Ms and sprinkles and shit rock hard. Rock hard M&Ms. Outbreaking. Now look at right here, now right here at the bottom. Don't be scared to try all our treats
Starting point is 00:51:56 from October 1st through October 31st by any polar pizza and any two novelty ice cream bar boxes for just $31. Don't worry, we won't tell a soul. What is, now is that supposed to be scary or are you threatening? Threatening, because I didn't even think you would tell anyone, Nebraska Robbins.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Yeah, we won't tell anybody about your nasty predilection. Also, is $31 a good price? Is it a good amount of money to spend on these three things? They just love the branding opportunities. Now listen, meanwhile, over at Sonic,
Starting point is 00:52:32 Oh, check this out. Now that's what I'm fucking talking about. Sonic unveils a spectacular Halloween treat with new witches brew slush float. Yeah, casting a spell on taste buds nationwide this Halloween season with the launch of the witches brew slush float. Yeah. Cashing a spell on taste buds nationwide this Halloween season with the launch of the Witches Brew Slush Float. Witches Brew Slush Fund.
Starting point is 00:52:52 It's a, it's part of the Flavorista Favorites premium drink lineup. That's right, a premium treat for the holiday. Thank you. It's a limited time seasonal treat and is a refreshing twist on the classic caramel apple treat. Wait, a limited time treat treat and is a refreshing twist on the classic caramel apple treat. Wait, a limited time treat and it's a refreshing twist on the caramel classic caramel apple treat?
Starting point is 00:53:10 Yeah, thanks, bots. We got you on this one, too. But I do want to say the Witches Brew slush full of combines the tartness of green apple. Thank you. Seasonal and salted caramel bubbles. The salted caramel bubbles are like pitch black. The whole drink looks terrifying. There is no way you would sell this at any other time of year, right? You're not gonna come out with this ugly thing in spring.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah, no way. This horrible drink, unless you're celebrating like a new release of a Shrek movie. Yeah, I was thinking also had Shrek on the mind on this one. Okay, that is actually a very good point. Witch's Brew is our twist on a caramel apple that stands out from the crowd with its unique blend of seasonal flavors and textures,
Starting point is 00:53:52 says Mackenzie Gibson. A witch. A witch. A real witch. Popped into the witch who works at Sonic. This hauntingly good creation not only captures the essence of Halloween season, but also delivers a deliciously fun experience
Starting point is 00:54:04 that's truly a one of a kind, which is Bruce sure to become a seasonal favorite. And I will hold them to that, by the way. I will be checking up and make sure you bring it back. In the future. It is completely up to you if it becomes a seasonal favorite. Anyway, that's what's happening in the Halloween world.
Starting point is 00:54:19 I just wanted to share that Baskin-Robbins is a corrupt company that should be shut down. That's a really, I would agree just on optics of this fucking polar pizza alone. Because they forgot about Halloween. And if they, as always, all brands have always been more than welcome to email follow ups to the Mudge Squad desk. If you would like to issue corrections, if we've gotten something wrong, I will say this folks, in my 10 long years in the Mudge Squad industry, I have never had a brand ask me for a
Starting point is 00:54:54 retraction, which to me is basically agreement. You've worked your way up from the bottom. They acknowledge their own flaws. I've never lied on this show. He's never lied, not once. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast, My Brother, My Brother, Me. 733 of them and I'm still having just as much fun
Starting point is 00:55:16 as I did the first time. Probably more. Definitely more. I'm not so stressed about it. Yeah, so chill. Hey, very exciting. This week, this very week, it was this very week that we're going to be in Denver and Phoenix.
Starting point is 00:55:30 We're doing My Brother, My Brother and Me in Denver on the 18th, and then Phoenix, we're doing Adventure Zone and My Brother, My Brother and Me. That Adventure Zone is a Taz versus Drak Halloween special. As far as the My Brother My Brother means go, if you have questions that you want answered or a wish to fungal or that you want read aloud, email it to nbmbam at maximumfun.org and put the name of your city that you'll be attending in the subject line. We also have in November shows in Indianapolis and Milwaukee,
Starting point is 00:56:01 and Dad and I are going to be not too long now,, into this month, I believe the 25th and 26th at MCM London, doing some panels there, doing some signings, photos, stuff like that, I think. So check that out, bit.ly-macroittours for tickets and information. We also have merch in the Macroitt merch store, macroittmerch.com, got Reece stocked Tongardice and a Trav Nation t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:56:27 I was wearing it yesterday. It's probably my favorite t-shirt we've done. If you can get one, get it while it's fast. We got a couple on there. Get it what? Get it while it's hot. Get it while it's fast and hot, dude. And 10% of all proceeds this month go to Native Women Lead.
Starting point is 00:56:43 So go check that out, macromurch.com. Thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song. My life is better with you. I almost said our life is better with you, but that's also true. Like our lives are better because of Montaigne's incredible work on this one. So check it out and go listen to all Montaigne's work
Starting point is 00:57:01 because it's fantastic. All right. We have a final wish that we want to elevate to fungalore. It's unnecessary, but we do it in a way that's showing accountability. We'll send it up. Juicy, you want to read this one? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:14 I wish blood pressure numbers meant something to me. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. My life, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

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