My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

This is your pilot speaking, if you look out the left side of the podcast, you will find a needy virtual pet. If you look out the right side, there are hundreds upon hundreds of worms in top hats crawling up from the dirt. And if you look on the wing, you’ll see a large pile of loose spaghetti and meatballs resting on top of a pizza. Enjoy your flight!Suggested talking points: I Eat Plane Wires for Food, Mandagotchi, Nerual Net with My Little Guy, Do You Have Access to the Means of Production, Classic Italian Mix-em-UpPalestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach

My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two. By way of heart, it's better with you.

Hello and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Uh, Vroom, Vroom, uh, what's up Trav Nation? I'm your middle-est brother Dog Wolf Wolf McRoy. If you look out your left window, you'll see my baby brother Griffin McRoy. Hello! I'm not on the plane, I guess. No, he's on the wing. We're trying to shake him off. So fasten your seatbelts.

I'm a nasty sky man. Yeah. I'm gonna get this plane. Yeah, everybody try to, I don't know why I drew attention to it. I actually tried to ignore the nasty sky man who's chewing on the wing. I hope no one's. Excuse me, excuse me, flight attendant. May I have your attention over here, please?

Yes, sir. How can I? There's a nasty sky man on the wing and my wife and I paid? I'm gonna get this play Pilot did say to try to ignore the nasty sky man out there. Can I offer you some warm nuts? I'm trying to enjoy the latest Alex Foley mystery and this young man on the wing On the window what we're sure that he won't be able to get through.

Don't worry about it. The 747 is a very secure, safe airplane, I bet. I eat plane wires for food. He says that every time. We've never seen him do it. He does bite the wires, but I don't think he'd digest them. Can I smell through the luggage? I don't know what else a nasty playing man would...

Listen, in that skit we just sort of cooked up live, improv style, which is like fun. I feel like Travis, you put me outside of the scene and cast me as the nasty sky man without a second thought. That's called a gift. That's called giving your partner a gift. I don't feel like it was a gift. I felt like it was a challenge,

but it was also sort of an exclusionary one. It was a yoke. Well, at first, I thought of you as like the Grand Canyon, and then you chose to be on the wing of the plane, I guess. Right, but even if I was the Grand Canyon, I wouldn't be like an active participant in the scene. So just like, I've never done improv, but I don't think at any point one of them can be like,

and you're a tree, so that you can't get to play. How long do you have to do this show before you can say you've done improv? Yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there. What do you have to do? I think it all adds up to one improv at some point. You've improvised. We've done 747 episodes.

I think by this point, you can say I've dabbled at least. That's why we're doing airplane stuff, by the way. We didn't figure it out. Again, in 10 episodes, because 757, that's a plane too, that's another plane. What? It's doing all the plane models. Yeah, they're all the planes.

Have they worked through, were there 626s at some point? Where 525? Yeah, man, maybe. It was just Cessnas. Listen, I don't remember a time in school when the path of pilot was open to me. Sure. I know people did end up as pilots,

but I, in my life, no one at any point was like this way to that career path. Do you think that that was a- Everyone read me instantly and it's like, whatever room the potential pilots are in, we don't need Justin in that room. They said, you know. I remember when I was taking like Life Skills,

which I think was the rebranding of Home Ec, and I absolutely knocked my cross-stitch project out of the park and my teacher was like, hey, pretty good cross-stitch of a wolf in front of a moon. You'd make a great pilot. And I said, no, thank you. I'm gonna be a podcasting. And I think that's where I missed it.

I've never looked at a kid and thought, I wanna be on a plane there driving. Really? Because they're, they can't reach all the stuff, all the buttons and toggles and whatever. I think that about your son, Henry. I can't believe you don't. You'd let Henry toggles. I think that about your son Henry. I can't believe you don't. You'd let Henry fly a plane with you in it.

Not now, but I'm saying I see within Henry an uncut John. A pilot's spirit. A pilot's heart. Yeah, he has the heart of a pilot. You don't see that? The heart of a pilot's heart. Maybe people didn't see that in me. They looked at my heart and found it lacking.

Yeah, you have the heart of a podcaster, I'm sorry. I looked like the kind of guy that would fly into a bunch of birds and just flip the fuck out. Yeah, oh my God. Can you imagine? One bird, I'm done. One, not even a flock if any of us were flying over the Hudson and we sucked in a single, small,

sick goose into our engine. I would just take the yoke, push it straight down and be like, sorry everyone, they got us. If I was a commercial pilot, I think I would get called into whatever my boss's office and they'd be like, hey, you need to stop asking like the control towers and radar people if they see any birds on the flight path.

Like, no. Like, I don't think radar can even pick up birds, but you ask every five minutes. Here's a quick impression of me in a pilot career path. You guys can, and who did this skit with me last time? Okay, this time Travis in this skit, you are the control tower. Okay. Like the actual building, cause that's basically what Travis did with me last time? Okay, this time Travis in this get, you are the control tower. Okay.

Like the actual building? Cause that's basically what Travis did to me last time. Or like a John Cusack. But he's getting good at it. Pushing 10. Pushing 10, yeah, push the 10. Control tower, this is just a macro, come in. Yeah, it's me, John Cusack, can I help you?

Hi, John. Yes, I'm getting very bored, and I don't want to anymore do this. I don't want to do this anymore. And the other guy said he won't take over again because he's already done it four times so I can use the bathroom and I don't want to do it anymore. So I'm the guy with the batons. I'm outside.

I can't hear anything you guys are saying. So can I get down please? No, like you want to stop? I want to get down. I want to get down. I don't want to do it like you wanna stop? I wanna get down. I wanna get down. I don't wanna do it anymore. God dang, these batons are heavy. I wanna run around.

Like you're asking to land? Land or not land, I need to go run around. I need to like take a lap and the other guy said he won't fly again. Okay, you just need to go back. I got the zoomies. You gotta go back to the passengers and see if any of them has the heart of a pilot.

What if your pilot, rock fast you and just like you heard him mumble like, got the zoomies, sorry, I'm trying to walk it off. He's stopping by everybody like, hey, what are you watching? What's it? Hey, give me one of the earbuds. You wanna fly?

I need snacks. What? I'm the pilot and I need snacks. Snacks on this plane suck. They always suck. Did anybody bring anybody like chocolate covered almonds? I've been looking for some sweet. I'm gonna have a lot of salty.

Anybody got any M&Ms? I told the Delta they gotta get little Airheads bites. I love those things. Get Airheads bites for the sweet. They don't listen. Hey, do you guys remember when we used to smoke on planes? Get up there and fly. No, I'm just saying, like there was a time

when it was like steak dinners and stuff. Why can't we vape? It doesn't make anything. It doesn't make anything when you do it. I was like, I wanna do that. And then I get here and they're like, you have to stay in the chair the whole time? And there's like no lounge or whatever.

I'm like, this sucks. They should make a Catch Me If You Can too. And instead of it being about a guy doing a bunch of cons, it's a guy who gets really good at secretly vaping in places where you're not supposed to. And it could still have Tom Hanks in it. It's called Catch Me If You Care. which we're not supposed to. And it could still have Tom Hanks in it. Like, how? It's called Touch Me If You Care.

How did you vape on It's a Small World in Disney? And he just pulls out like a toilet paper tube stuff with dryer sheets, and he's like, I knew it! Mm-bada, mm-bada-bada. And then you hear, Justin, I love your podcast. It's like, thank you very much. I don't have time to talk right now. I'm going to prison, I guess. This isn't a good moment.

I'm being trespassed. This is an advice show, okay, still. My youngest sibling got me a Tamagotchi for kind of likes. It's the 2024 re-release, the version I had as a kid, which I was obsessed with back then. It's as 2024 re-release, the version I had as a kid, which I was obsessed with back then. It's as fun and cute as I remember. And I've been, is it as fun as you remember? Okay.

It's as all consuming as I remember. I've been keeping it on my person so I can take care of it and not let it die. However, I'm a nearly 30 year old man who has a full-time job and rides the bus in grocery shops and stuff and inevitably Sometimes the little guy gets hungry and beefs So I'm out doing errands around other adults

Is there a way to care for my little plastic egg toy in public without looking like a large child? That's from pixel parent in Kentucky. I got BB a tamagotchi for Christmas because she like asked about them and which one is it? Is it one of the new dope all color ones or is it like the re-release? The re-release. Like Tiger Electronics. I want her to like experience the retro throwback. And then as she was like unboxing it,

she was like asking me and Teresa about it. And Teresa started describing like, well, you can't turn it off, right? Like if you stop paying attention to it, it will die. And you have to, and BB Institute was like, well, you don't, you can't turn it off, right? Like if you stop paying attention to it, it will die. And you have to, and BB Ancestor was like, I don't want that, what? And had like a full blown anxiety, like no. And handed it to me and she was like,

figure out how to turn it off. And all I can think is this same child has been asking me for a hamster for so long. Yeah, yeah. To be her own. And I was like, I don't know. Like you've just, this is the moment where like the lawyer asks the like defendant a question

and they just blow the whole thing wide open. Yeah, it's also that kid, that classic kid reaction, like I don't want the pressure of thinking this might die. So kill it in front of me while I watch. Yeah. I wanna watch you do it. Take the battery out. Well, what do you think that does?

We need, it's time to normalize virtual pets. It's time for these things to be on everyone's person all the time. I'm thinking more of a gigapets direction, because gigapets, you could make them fight. And that's really what I wanted. That's really what I wanted is to make it, is to prove that I can raise the strongest pet.

That's so interesting, Griffin, because what you've just blown open for me is that Tamagotchi are seen as so childish, and yet Pokemon Go swept the world. And it's like, yeah, how is that that different? Just give me a little guy. and it's like, yeah, how is that that different? Except they fight. Just give me a little guy. Just give me a little guy that I have.

Put him in my watch, my little guy in my watch that I get to doodoo boop boop whenever I want. It would be better if all human interaction be like, like every uncomfortable conversation you've ever had. If you could just be like, quick battle? Yeah. So good, so choice. I see you're also a fire type. conversation you've ever had if you could just be like, hey, quick battle? You wanna knock out a quick battle? So good, so choice.

I see you're also a fire type, huh? Yeah, and it's like, would you like a quick battle? I mean, everybody, even old people who you are like, whack, like whack, like old whack people, even them have them, you know what I mean? Even your Nani, my Nani's not whack, but you get the idea. She's old. We can all have them. You know what I mean? Like even your Nani. My Nani's not whack, but like you get the idea. Yeah, she's old.

Like we all have them. Quick battle, no problem. That would be so great. If we could figure out a way to connect like Pokemon or Tamagotchi or Gigapet to like mining crypto, billion dollars. Now you're putting the douche chills in me, Trapp. Yeah, oh, I actually think that's what Logan Paul

was trying to do with Zoo Coin. Actually, now that I say it out loud. You put the shiver in me, Trapp. I think I've reverse engineered the Zoo Coin scam. That's a shame that you did that. Yeah, no, I said it and then I hated it. Let's go back to the other thing where you could, yeah, ignore the thing that I said

where I created a standpoint. I'll say this, if you can live authentically on your Tamagotchi, all you're gonna garner is envy. Because if I saw someone on a bus and I didn't have anything to play with and they had a Tamagotchi, I would think, it was pretty fun. I might even get a little closer,

like look over their shoulder, I wish I had that. And if you are a person in the world that is bringing you joy, no matter what that object is, everyone else will just look at you with, I wish I had that joy. One of the people in the cast of 20 Sided Tavern had a Tamagotchi that she was taking care of. And my, every time it would beep or something,

like the first time I was around when it beeped, she like kind of apologized. And I was like, no, man, it seems really grounding and really mindfulness. I'd rather have a friend that gives me Tamagotchi updates than a friend that feels the need to bring me every Uber distressing headline they strove across like some sort of like wild cat bringing me

a terrifying dead birds when I least expect it. No, thank you. Just go ahead and give your eggs some milk or whatever. Yeah, I love it. I think they could come in different form factors. We're done talking about this question, so sorry. I know that you probably wanted like concrete advice. Instead, the three of us are just kind of gonna chat.

So, messy as vice, just live authentically and enjoy your dream. Live authentically and live your dream. Now, as for this mandatory tabagotchi that everyone's gonna have, I think different- Mandagotchi? Mandagotchi's really, really cool. Gadagotchi. Gadagotchi, yeah.

Maybe they can look like a little, like a beeper? Cause then if you see someone with a little beeper-sized thing here and it beeps and they do stuff with it, I'm not gonna ask you about that. That could be a health related thing that I don't know about. Especially if it's one of those where the screen slides up

to reveal a keyboard. When I see those in old shows now or somebody has a phone and flips out and they slide it out, it's like, I actually regret that we moved away from that. That looks so cool in someone's head. That is pretty cool. I don't know that I love it for this, Trav, and I'll tell you why.

I like, I want a little guy. I like, I want a little guy. I like I want a little guy, and I don't want to have, I don't want to have internet access. I don't want to do other stuff on my little guy. No, no, no, this would be to type messages to your little guy. I would prefer to talk to him, talk to him, I guess. Oh, it's got voice? It's voice enabled? Neural net, thank you. I'll neural net with my little guy. Okay. I may not need, I actually need to talk to my little guy, now that I think about it. I might just want to be, take care of my little guy. Okay. Thank you. I may not need, actually need to talk to my little guy now that I think about it.

I might just wanna be, take care of my little- What if he gets lonely? I would press the button to make like a stuffed animal appear or something. What if you get lonely? It would press the button to make a stuffed animal appear for you. I think what if we had it as just a chip implanted at birth and it grew with you?

But it was like your little avatar, right? That grew with you and you had to take care of. But then they were also reminding you like stay hydrated and get enough exercise and eat your vegetables. So like they're your little like Jiminy Cricket with you all the time. Yeah, like a conscience. Like a conscience, finally.

But- Finally. But- They can battle. They can battle. They can battle. So that would be cool if Pinocchio rolled up on some other boy and was like, oh, you think you're, oh, what'd you say?

Talk shit about my nose? Did you say some shit about my dad's accent? It's time to throw down. Yeah. Get him, Jiminy. Go Jiminy. I choose you. Use guilt trip.

My cricket has blades. On his ass. Awesome! My cricket, my cricket has cyber blades for her. What if Jiminy Cricket was just a scyther? Yeah. That would be so cool if Jiminy Cricket was a scyther. That would be dope, man.

That would be great. Hey, here's another question. Every year in my hometown in Florida, they throw the annual Sop Choppy Worm Grunting Festival. For those of you who don't know what worm grunting is. Read a book. Morse the pity. Basically, you take two sticks,

rub them together, and magically make worms crawl out of the ground. This year, they're accepting submissions from local artists to design their t-shirts and merch. It's great for me, since I'm an artist by trade. However, I'm having some trouble finding inspiration for the design. Previous years, they've had worms dressed as burlesque

dancers, worms playing the banjo, and worms in cowboy hats riding crabs. Brothers, how do I compete with that? What would you like to see on these shirts? Happy Gruntin, wondering in Wakula. I'm not usually wild about the like, make jokes for me. Make a joke for me, yeah, but this is so strong. And the Sop Choppy Worm Gruntin is three powerful,

Sop Choppy Worm Gruntin is, it sounds like an incantation. Yeah. It sounds really, really ethereal and special. What about just like a real closeup picture of a worm's face? And it's like really intense and it's just going, ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

That's cool. Real close-up, like Rin and Stimpy when they used to do the like the close-up look at their face and it was all grotesque. Ugh. Yeah, that's cool. That would be good. Or a worm giving birth to Sonic and they're grunting.

I can tell how you feel about the joke you made, Travis, by the sort of paralysis, the facial paralysis that followed it. It was really great. Travis in that moment was making some, was really cheesing, trying to get something out of Justin and I, because if we didn't laugh at what he just said it would be a great betrayal Yeah of him in front of I am and I am sorry for it seemed the right choice in the moment

No, I feel kind of guilty for leaving you out to help me say it again. I absolutely do not want guys It really works. You really it it's called worm charming and because of the vibrations in the ground It makes the worms come up they did studies animals Yeah, they did it in dune get this worm. No get lit. Listen birds do it. That's please do it Even little fleas do it Everybody's growing out here for worms The birds go on the ground and they start stomping around and the worms like what the hell is it? Then they go out and get eaten, that's messed up.

Okay, but a first bird had to do that at some point in nature history where all the other birds are just looking like, what's Stan doing? And he's just standing on the ground stomping his feet and they're like, this crazy guy, what's he doing? And then some worms start coming up and even Stan is blown away. He's like, I didn't think that would work.

I just stomped a bunch of words came up. This is gonna be a great idea that I'm about to say. So, brace your asses. Your design should be a worm riding on the back of a bigger worm like a dune guy did. Yeah. I was gonna say a dune worm thing too. So what is, just ask, I wanna ask one thing.

Okay. Is it, how is it on top of it? Is it like leg blade over it? Did you see dune too? No, I did, I wanna ask one thing. Okay. Is it, how is it on top of it? Is it like leg, blade over it? Did you see Dune 2? No, I did, I did, I did. Is it just like squatted on top or? In Dune 2, he rides it like he's doing a trick on a jet ski.

Like he's like standing, right? Stratically standing and he's got reigns. And if the worm could be in a Fremen suit. Yeah. I think that'll sell it. God damn, that scene is so cool. Fuck, that scene is so cool. You know what I'm sitting here thinking? Do you know how cool that has to be to watch it

and not think like, I'm gonna make a joke about this in my podcast, but instead think like, man, I wish I was up there with him. Can you imagine being Timmy on that day and knowing that- Timmy Chimmy. Being Timmy Chimmy and knowing that that was the day you get to do the worm scene. Yeah.

I bet he was stoked out of his goddamn gourd. Do you think they got to end that day? And he was like, I don't think we got it. I don't think we got it. I want to try again. Try again, please. Maybe the lighting, I think the lighting was off. Do you think Timmy Chimmy got to keep like the apparatus?

Got to keep the worm? Well, not the, obviously didn't have a whole worm. What? Definitely. They definitely had part of the worm? Well, obviously they didn't have a whole worm. What? They definitely had part of the worm's lumpy back, and I think he probably could have taken it. Well, it's not a real worm. I assume they built, like when they did Jurassic Park,

they built a large animatronic worm for him to ride on. There's so much good Dune, there's so much worm stuff in Dune, you'd be crazy not to use some of this shit in your design. Dang, I wish we could watch Dune. Damn, I'd watch Dune, you'd be crazy not to use some of this shit in your design. Dang, I wish we could watch Dune. Damn, I'd watch Dune right now. Can we cancel the rest? What if we could watch Dune on the podcast? That'd be cool.

That'd be so sick. I wish I had a third monitor to have Dune on in the background. What if I had Dune right here? Maybe I do. Yeah. Maybe I Dune. Oh! Hey guys, hey guys, how you doon? How you doon is.

That's good. Our new podcast. Do the doon? How you doon? How you doon. Do the doon. It's a friends, friends slash a doon. So I don't think you need any other ideas.

It feels like we didn't get you. What about a picture of a human being on a hook? And it's like the hook is going through the human's belly and they're like, oh. Is the worm holding it? Is the worm involved? And then the worm has a fishing hat and you see the worm like holding the pole.

That's cool, that's like a protest design. That's like a protest political cartoon. No, no, no, everybody in the picture is having a hat. The human's loving it. The human's loving it. Like, I was wrong, this is good. In my version, the human wouldn't be loving it. There are people who get suspended

from hooks for fun and pleasure. Yep, are you listening? My in-law is a welder and loves showing me his work. He is so kind and so excited, and I wanna give him the same energy back, but I know nothing about welding. How do you compliment someone's welding? That's from Metal Man in Montreal.

Now the obvious answer is to say, well done. You know, like- Well done. Yeah, they love that shit. They love that. Clean seams. Clean seams.

Don't say seamless. Cause there is a seam there, that's part of it. Yeah, if it was seamless, that's a shitty weld, actually. Tight circles. Here's what I'll say, I welded in college. The things I remember most, God, it stinks. Oh, does it? It smells so bad, and anything you wear while welding

is gonna stink forever. Oh, that's a shame. What are you thinking's making that smell? I mean, if you like the smell, I guess. It's like, it stinks to weld. It also is wicked dangerous. So dangerous. Because like, they give you a special mask

that when it turns on, you can't see shit. So they've given you a powerful lightning gun and then said, hey, make sure you're in position when this starts, because otherwise, you can't see what the fuck you're doing. It's so, my approach to life is so different from other people's, because if someone was like, go off game. Hey, Justin, let me show you my welding.

I'm instantly like, right now, let's go show me how to do this. I wanna like take, let's go out to the welding place. I gotta weld right now. I know you have the welding shit. Like don't hold out and don't be like, it's too dangerous, Justin. You know what I'm like, yada yada yada. Just let me play with the thing, please.

Thank you. And I'll just stick pieces of metal randomly together. I'm not trying to make it function. I don't need to do anything purposeful. Exactly, Travis, I don't wanna mess up whatever you're doing. I just wanna be like, you know what I mean? Just glue a bunch of metal together for a bit.

For just a second. I feel that, I'm gonna say blanket statement, that applies to any of the means of production. If you have seized any of the means of production and If you have seized any of the means of production and have access to them in your home, yeah, I'd like to see how that works. Rock tumbling, pottery, glass blowing, anything. Even a loom?

I have the power to attack. You have a loom? A loom? Between my 3D printer and my Cricut, I'm basically Iron Man over here. I can make whatever. Could you do it in a cave? Would you, could you with a fox?

Hmm. Hmm. If it's consensual. Hey, listen. You could say something along the lines of how much weight you think you could suspend. I feel like that's a thing that welders would love to hear. Like if they've made like a corner weld and you're like,

oh yeah, you can hang like, you can hang what? Like a hundred, 300 pounds? Yeah. What if you just like quick spin kick, just like right into the weld and there's like, you crumple your ankles broken. It's like, wow, that is really good. Solid.

That's a neat trick, Juice. You can only do it twice. It's true, I only got the two ankles. I only got the two ankles to compliment with. Yeah, the next time you go for that compliment and they're like, hey, look at this well, and you start gearing up and they're like, no, it's fine. It's fine.

Please don't do it. It's like six months of intense physical therapy, please. You just healed up. My metal ankles, the doctor said that can't happen anymore. And then you kick it with your metal ankle and your ankle breaks and you're like, I should have gotten you to weld it.

What was I thinking? For me. There's nine types of welds. Oh. I think you could have Googled them in the span of time you have taken to email us a question. I'm learning all about welding today. I mean, it's less fun, but you want practicality.

I'm surprised, sometimes you see a weld and it looks like a wavy pattern, like a cake frosting that's been applied to it, and that's good. Yeah. I, okay, jokes out of the room. I took a blacksmithing class or two, and I did some welding in there.

And I love it. That's so cool. I love it. Blacksmithing doesn't excite me as much because it's like you take one piece of metal, you make it look like something else. Being able to take two pieces of metal and attach them, that seems crazy to me.

That seems fucking wild to me. That, Griffin, what you just said, myself as a journeyman blacksmith, really deeply offended me. That Griffin, what you just said, myself as a journeyman blacksmith, really deeply offended me. The idea that you're like blacksmithing. I could take a piece of metal Griffin and turn it into art or a weapon. I think I understand blacksmithing.

You get the thing hot enough and then you can change how it looks. That's cool. How do you attach- With the gentle strike of my hammer, I can shape the very essence of earth into whatever you need. That's cool, and I know, but I know how that works. I don't get welding.

I don't know what's fucking going on in there. It's attaching two pieces of metal forever. How are they doing this stuff? They're getting it so hot. I think we need the metal workers to step in here. I made a video about how to fake an interest in woodworking back in, let's see, 2020. And guys, that video has 264,000 views.

That is outside of our normal performance. That means that people are finding this instructional video I made and watching it, learning how to compliment a woodworker. We need our metal workers, step in. Please tell us the nice things to say about metalworking. In general, by the way, that should be a whole series

of like somebody gave me a knitted gift and I need to know like how to not just be like, oh, cool, cozy. I need deeper layers than that. Give me how to compliment knitted craft work. Give me how to compliment like pottery. Give me how to compliment these things. Give me how to sound good talking about

like American basketball history. Anything you guys wanna start throwing at me to teach me how to sound. That's, at a certain point, you're just describing school. Yeah, I remember that class where they told me how to sound smart talking about like somebody's wood carvings, Griffin.

What are you talking about? Sometimes I'm watching one of them greens videos. Yeah. And I'm like, and I, cause it's like, it sounds cool what they're talking about and they're like, you want to learn about some old boat? And I'm like, hell yeah, greens, Greens boys, let's do it. And then I, but then I catch them.

After a few minutes, I'm like, this is school. You tried to get me back into school, nice try. It's school 2.0, because if somebody said to me, hey, sit down and watch these Green brothers talk about old boat. And at the end, we're gonna test you on it and Well, you do it increases our funding. I'd be like, oh fuck off Yeah, that's that yes, and you do it and then get the best score you could and then feel good. Yeah, I would okay

I would you would I would but But that's not the point respect self with a little respect. Self respect. A self respecting person with dignity. Yes, someone who cares more about their own self worth than proving to others how good they are at things wouldn't do that. No. Hey, would it be all right with you guys if we took a quick break?

Yeah, I'm so tired. Let me think. Yeah, I think it's all right. I think we'll let the ad guys step in for a second. Yeah, bring in our stunt doubles. To the money zone. ["It's Better With You"] Hey, listen, it's time for you to get out there

and start making your way in the world today. It takes everything you got, but the first thing it takes is a great looking website. And that is easier than it sounds if you're willing to harness the power of Squarespace. That's right. But frankly, your dad and I have been supporting you for too long.

We've let you live in the BoHouse this whole time, and it's time for you to make a name for yourself. I'm an old sailor. That's right. On a boat, on a nearby boat. And he's outside the wing, he's on the wing of the plane right now. Squarespace lets you make a beautiful website

and engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place all on my terms. Whoa. That's right. I've partnered with Squarespace to determine all the terms. This is like when they have Travis Scott do a meal or something at McDonald's. It's a lot like the Travis Scott meal,

except it's me and Squarespace said, you get to decide if every site's good enough or not. And I'm a pretty harsh critic when it comes to sites. That's not true, you can do whatever. Squarespace Payments, they got, no matter how they wanna spend the money and what vehicles that that money travels in, Squarespace Payments gonna get you there. And you make it look all good.

They have a- You make it look all good. You make it look all good. You make it look all good. You make it look all good with an unrivaled suite of You make it look all good. Make it look all good with the unrivaled suite of visual design effects, built and ready to go on any Squarespace website. We've all used-

Hey Griffin, I feel bad enough about the suite of visual design effects that I've been developing. For you to say I'm not even rivaling Squarespace in this public forum is like unnecessary. They don't even see you in the same league, Justin. I am saving these files as fast as I can. I'm putting them in the cloud as fast as I can.

I can't keep up. It's a whole company. Yeah, sorry, man. You're just never gonna catch up. No, not. Because Squarespace is gonna keep making them. And even if Justin keeps making them a pace, he will never catch up.

He's so far behind Squarespace. I'm sorry, Dad. And it's not fair. Squarespace kicks so much ass, it's not fair that Justin has to try and fight them. And yet? And yet, go to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch,

go to www.squarespace.com slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. We're blasting off. We're blasting off to savings and fiscal responsibility. And if you look out the window of this rocket, out on the wing, you'll see Griffin McElroy. That's right. I'm not gonna take the lead on this ad though.

Nice try, hater. Oh, Griffin just flew off the wing. Oh, we're moving too fast. Oh, he's burning up on reentry. Hey, it's me, Justin Baccar. I'm on the other wing. Back to you, Trev. Oh, thank you so much, Justin.

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using all of the app's premium features. So cancel your own wanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Financial. Your financial goals. Financial goals goals faster with Rocket Money. Financial. Your financial goals. Financial goals. Faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash my brother today.

That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Would you like another question? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I just started a new job working in a warehouse where it is required to stand the entire shift. Gross.

One of my, yeah, one of my New Year's resolutions was to get fit. So I thought I might as well work out while I'm standing. I've tried to march in place, but it made it look like I constantly had to use the bathroom. Any ideas for some secret exercises I could do that won't be weird?

That's from Covert Cardio in Cleveland. Okay. It would be so tight if you could just vibrate your body all over. Like the belts? Like the weight loss belts? No, not like the belts. And you just wanna be shaking all the time.

It would be imperceptible. Right. This sort of like shifting just like like a full body You don't have to make a face I think to do it because if I walked around and I saw someone standing stuck still because the vibrations are so minute making That face I would know that they're vibro. What if they had to have raised eyebrows to do it? No, I don't think there'd be any kind of visual tell I don't want to know if you're vibro sizing or not. You should be able to do it even if you're walking around.

This is kegels. You're describing kegels. I don't know if you can walk around and do kegels at the same time. Well, you can't. If you focus up, man, get it right tight. Now, here's my question. I'd say I wanna see it,

but both of your guys' offices are a little cramped. You're doing it right now. You couldn't see it. Now, why, this wasn't the question, but I'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't be allowed to sit down in the warehouse, is the assumption that at any moment, at any moment, there could be a truck come

or a delivery come. It's irrelevant. It is irrelevant. However, I have to imagine- It's capitalism, man, I don't know. I hear you, but I will say, treat yourself to some of the inserts. If you're going from not standing all day to standing some of the day, get the to some of the inserts. If you're going from not standing all day

to standing some of the day, get the inserts. Get the inserts. Get the adult starter shulks. Get the inserts. That's a really good place to start. You can't have like improvements in your health if you're undone by muscle strain from, you know, being on your feet all the time.

So start with the shulks. That's a huge step. It may take you a month to get used to that. Yeah. Like, don't even try to start exercising yet. I'm also gonna go ahead and recommend get super good at forklift. Cause that's a sit down opportunity

every time you're on forklift. I don't think this person wants to sit down more. I think they're trying to get healthy. Here's how you do it. Are you ready? What's that? It's two birds. I got this one stone.

I'm gonna murder them. So you can't sit down. You wanna exercise more. You're going to find a wall. You're going to press your back against it and go into like you're sitting down, right? With your arms out. And that can feel good.

Yeah, and you're gonna work. It's a core workout, arm workout, leg workout, everything, right? And eventually you're gonna build the muscles so good, you won't need the wall anymore. You're just gonna be able to sit down in the air. Can you even imagine, can you even imagine having that super power, such super hyperdeveloped muscles that I could just sit with?

I wouldn't do anything else except like, hmm, and sit down in midair all the time, like I'm having the deepest think on philosophy, religion, economics. That is cool. I prefer vibrosizing just because I think that it is gonna be a easier solution in the long run. And also if you touch like some glass,

it'll like hum because of the vibration. Like if you hold a glass of water, you can like see the ripples on the surface. Like there's so much cool stuff we could do with vibrosizing. Could you get a partner in this, another coworker, and you guys just lean back to back against each other, when, and then eventually maybe a third person joins,

and a fourth and a fifth. And pretty soon you're just a stack of leaning people, all resting against one another, supporting each other. I call it a union. And this union supports each other. Tell me more Travis. Ah, thank you for asking. So the union, it's like they're all leaning

against each other. Does the boss get to join the leaning, Travis? Is he in charge of the Union? No. The boss is in charge of who leans on what, right? No, the Union is its own things and makes its own decisions and has what I call this leaning negotiating power.

Huh. Till you get chairs. I guess. I don't understand why we can't get the dang boss in there though. I feel like understand why we can't get the dang boss in there though. I feel like he would be so smart. Well, because the boss with all the money in his pockets is too heavy to lean against. He's not the guy we should be listening to though. He's got all that money.

He probably knows how to lean the best or else he wouldn't be the goddamn boss, Travis. Well, it's because he saves that money to not spend on chairs. And he has his own chair. This is the thing, he doesn't need to lean. Well, his chair is, his chair, he explained it once. His chair is where he does all of his best boss thinking. And he has to sit down in order to do his best boss thinking. That's why he can't lean on the Union, right? Because he would get too distracted from his boss work.

Okay, well, he can still support the Union, right? Because he would get too distracted from his boss work. Okay. Well, he can still support the Union in other ways. Yes, and he should. Okay. And this is, and this will get me fit, you said? It will. Wow. Emotionally and financially.

Cool. That's awesome. It's really cool. That's a good invention you just came up with. Thank you, I just come up with it. That's cool. You're all welcome. Thank you. I just come up with it. It's cool. You're all welcome Shirley

Welcome to Munch Squad. Squad. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Welcome to Munch Squad's podcast with a podcast profile and the latest greatest brand eating. It has been a while since we've been able to like really dig through everything that's going on and things are moving at a speed. A lot of news.

Yes. In January is the time. Like if you listen to like the empty bowl, my cereal podcast, you'll know. Don't plug your other podcast right here in the middle of your podcast within a podcast. We're already one podcast deep in the podcast. Justin, you're welcome to plug any of your projects

that you want. You are an equal contributor in this enterprise. Travis, I want you to stand up from where you're sitting and look in a fucking mirror. Go find a mirror. I don't have a mirror in here. Exactly. That's wild.

That's fucking baloney. That's insane, Trav. I mean, I can kind of see myself in the reflection of my fish tank. There's a lot going on. Let me just tell you guys. Pee, pee, you can see it too. I wanna start with like the new year,

cause that's, you know, obviously top of mind three weeks ago. Sonic kicked it off with a late winter menu packed with hydration fun. And of course indulgence. Sonic's angle is that they have drinks too. That's all, that's Sonic's thing is like, they have drinks and they'll serve you breakfast

whenever you want. I've never seen any kind of fast food or quick service restaurant advertise hydration before, as in like, come to us, we'll get it, we will get the wet parts better. Also, indulgence isn't really the buzzword for January. Yeah, well that is all changes when you're buying a drink at Sonic

with their Sour Dragon Fruit Recharger with Red Bull. Too many words, too many words. Ultimate midday pick me up. It's a blend of Red Bull, lemon, lime, soda, you get it. At Sonic, we know the new year calls for fresh ways to refresh and recharge, said Mackenzie Gibson. Our late winter menu is all about embracing fun and flavor in 2025.

From the bold new bacon deluxe double Sonic Smasher. Why are there so many words? Strawberry fusion fizz. We're making it easier and more delicious for fans to keep the tastiest resolution of all. To add more flavor to the year. Now this is what I wanted to really tell you about guys. Hey, real quick though, can I ask,

do you think when they're developing these things, do you think that any of them consider the actual person sitting in their car having to lean over to the microphone and go, yeah, can I have the dragon fruit fizz, sour cherry dragon fruit. In the face with a red bull and ice? You don't have to do that.

I don't do that. Like if someone's like, we have chicken co-co-co-vine, I was like, I'll just have the chicken. Just bring me the chicken one. Yeah, I't have to do that. I don't do that. Like if someone's like, we have chicken cooked. I was like, I'll just have the chicken. Just bring me the chicken one. I'm not gonna say a name I don't understand. Give me Red Bull drink. And then you know. I'll have the Red Bull drink.

You know the one I mean. Fans, this is the important thing though, guys. Fans can also start the year knowing that they're contributing to a cause we're celebrating. As a portion of every drink purchase supports public education through the Sonic Limeades for Learning Initiative. Powered by the Sonic Foundation, Sonic has donated more than $28 million since 2009

to fund local classrooms. Jesus. Making it one of the largest programs supporting public education in the US. Wait. That's, that's wrong. It doesn't say corporate or private business programs. Aw, man. No, it's emotionally much corporate or private business programs.

Aw, man. No, it's emotionally much more bracing than that, Travis. It says making it one of the largest pro... Sonic Limeades for Learning is one of the largest programs supporting public education in the United States. And that's 28 million spread out over 16 years. In other news CC pizza is launching spaghetti and meatballs pizza for schools

CC Pizzini The culinary mastermind behind CC's pizza and endless buffet is introducing a limited time spaghetti meatballs pizza to continue the brand's 40th anniversary celebration. It's a one of a kind pizza bringing together three beloved Italian comfort foods, spaghetti, meatballs, and pizza. Featuring spaghetti noodles, savory meatballs, which we can all agree is better than sweet meatballs, rich marinara sauce, and melted cheese

on Cece's signature crust. So they just slopped some noodles on there? Yeah crust. So they just slopped some noodles on there? Yeah, bud, they just slopped some noodles on there. What's Cece's got? Oh, sorry, it's not Cece, it's Jeff Hetzel, the president of Cece's Pizza. Spaghetti and pizza have always been at the heart of celebrations and cherished memories,

making this the perfect way to honor Cece's 40 years of bringing pizza together. In that point, I do agree with Jeff Hetzel that a spaghetti and meatball pizza is a perfect way of celebrating Cece's. Our new spaghetti and meatball pizza celebrates our legacy of comfort, value, and innovation. And challenging food concepts.

And then it goes to schools? And then they give the money from the spaghetti. Cece's does not, Cece's actually takes money from schools. Cece's is not, Sonic helps schools, Cece's goes to school and steals from them. The way you attached those, Justin, I thought that this was gonna end with, we're calling it the school getty and meat school pizza.

I just wanted to brighten your spirits with the knowledge that as the weather gets colder, and you learn that one of the biggest programs funding US education is Sonic's Limits for Learning, they're warming things up over at Cece's with a recipe you can't find anywhere else. All I can think of is- It's equal parts fun, familiar, and delicious.

If somebody brought me a pizza box and I opened it, and I found, without warning, a top of my pizza, a big pile of loose spaghetti noodles, my brain would inherently think, oh no, something's gone horribly wrong. There was a big earthquake only at the Italian food restaurant. There was a big Italian mix-em-up.

Classic Italian mix-em-up. It was my favorite heist movie from the 80s. My pizza is ruined. You know what I mean? I don't think I would be excited about this. Okay, cool. This is cool juice. Yeah, so this is our last story this week.

Cheat on your diet with Arby's. Your secret is safe with us. Awesome. I wish it said cheat on your wife with Arby's. Cheat on your spouse with Arby's. Pull out American pie on one of our giant roast beef sandwiches and cheat on your wife with Arby's. Pull out American pie on one of our giant roast beef sandwiches and cheat on your wife with Arby's. It's January, the time for fresh starts, new goals, and the promise of healthier habits.

Everyone's on board, hitting the gym, meal prepping, saying no to dessert and feeling good about it. But let's be real for a second. By mid-January, we're all looking for that one cheat day to give our resolutions a break. And who wants to fess up to it? No one. That's where Arby's comes in.

Arby's! Arby's handling this with the amount of sensitivity that I would come to expect from Arby's The Meat House. Yeah, so this is great. A wild assumption that everyone's on board. Hey, people who have clicked to read an Arby's press release. Yeah, we know you're on board with that.

New Year, same you. This is the name of the menu. Huh, cool. Only menu, designed to help you cheat on your goals without the judgment from your friends and family in five select Arby's locations. They are in Cleveland, Las Vegas, Miami, Chicago, and Atlanta. That tracks it, yeah. That is great.

Now listen, here's the magic. What these five locations have done is they renamed some of the items. So the double beef and cheddar, they're now calling salad with dressing. And they're calling the regular jamoca shake a green smoothie. And they're calling small curly fries,

seam vegetables. And they're calling small curly fries, seem vegetables. So they are celebrate, Arby's is celebrating the new year with some fucking Orwellian double speak madness where they're just calling foods different things. The story that they're envisioning here is that I have made a resolution to be healthier, to eat healthier, and on my cheat day, I'm gonna sneak over to Arby's and then when I get home

and I guess my spouse or somebody is like, I need to check the receipt and I hand them an Arby's receipt that says I got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie, and a steamed vegetables that my, whoever, accountability partner is like, you went to Arby's and got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie, and steamed vegetables? They've never had those things at Arby's before. This is, this is, okay, Trav,

this is the actual quote brother Arby's we know that keeping your resolutions are hard Especially when you have pressure from family and friends said Jeff Baker This menu is just the perfect way to treat yourself while saving you the headache of having to explain to everyone What the fuck Arby's you have the rest of 2025 to hit your goals and at Arby's we just want to you know Have a fun stress stress-free indulgence. Stress-free! No judgment, no guilt, just good food that makes sticking to those resolutions a whole lot easier. So go ahead, order that salad,

enjoy those steamed vegetables, and let Arby's help you through this time of year with a side of humor and a whole lot of flavor. I'm so glad, Justin, that Arby's sent this to you to kind of edit before they published it to everybody because I have so many notes. It's just- They would be so better off if they had taken this

in the direction of, hey, we're Arby's. And we know you wanna treat yourself a little better and maybe make some mindful decisions regarding like your eating habits and your health but if you have incredibly personal topic that we Arby's should not probably take a shot and But if you have someone in your life who's giving you shit about occasionally having like some fries, that's fucked up come to Arby's No Travis, you're but what you're It's not that Arby's thinks that they're helping you out,

because what they are saying though is what they're envisioning is a situation where your partner, it's easier and less complicated for you to explain that. Yes, you actually did get a small steam vegetables at Arby's. And here's why. Allow me to explain. So actually you are embarrassing yourself because it was healthy, Arby's Sydney. And sorry, in this universe, I guess they also assume I've already told my partner I'm going to Arby's.

Right? It's worse than that. They're telling you that you're cheating on your diet with yourself. So what they're saying is you'll get a receipt out three weeks later, but like, I went to Arby's? Fuck me, this is classic me. Oh, wait a minute, I got a salad? All right, good job. Could you play it, you get home,

and your significant other's like, hey, I know you're concerned about your heart health and you've been trying to cut red meat out. That's a big, big wet pile of red meat you have there. You say, no, it is a salad with dressing. Have you seen, is it cake, baby? So this is like that, where they made it look, is it salad?

It is. No, I'm not gonna cut it open. Just trust me. It's gonna be really hard to explain to people that in the span of five years, we went from McDonald's actually selling a salad you could buy to Arby's calling roast beef sandwiches salads.

That's like, that's where we're at. It's took about five years. It's gastro juice. It's gastro. It's a salad that looks like a roast beef sandwich fucking Wiley-Dufresne undone it again. Gastro, gastro lighting is more, is more like it. That's what we're getting from Arby's right now.

Who I feel bad for? I feel bad for anybody who pulls up to Arby's and is so excited to see that they now have salads. Yeah. And like steamed vegetables. And they're like, yeah, then they get it and they're like, oh, something, there's been a classic Italian mix them up here.

Thank you, Wendy's, for continuing to offer your raggedy salad. Fighting the good, sad fight. You've got the salad equivalent to soldiers eating their shoe level leather during the Civil War. You keep dumping your busted down chili on it and calling it a taco. Your chili that already has your cut up hamburgers,

so it's a double repurposing, and you keep putting that busted stuff out there. Good for you guys. Thank you for that. McDonald's got too embarrassed during COVID. They're like, nah. It's in a cup. Still not fun enough.

Do you like Wendy's? Do I like Wendy's? Yeah. Do you like Wendy's nuts? Drag on your face. Guys, I'm fucking those left, right and center over here. That's good. We can't end any stronger than that.

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We're coming to Florida, February 20th through the 22nd. 20th to 21st, we're gonna be in Tampa doing Mbemem and Taz, first ever Taz in Florida. And February 22nd, we're doing Mbimim in Jacksonville. Tickets are on sale now, if you go to bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours. Speaking of tickets on sale now, Champions Grove,

I think there's like four left, so hurry over and grab those. Get your packages at championsgrove.com. Come join us in Hawking Hills, Ohio, at a real life castle to play some us, it's me and other creators. I didn't invite Griffin and Justin this year, but you can come join us championsgrove.com.

They didn't invite me last year, I just paid for myself. I invited you to pay. We have available a Miggy plush in coordination with U2's that is only available until January 28th. Miggi of course being the mascot and weirdly enough producer of the McElroy Family Clubhouse. You can find a link where you can get

this beautiful Miggi plush that is only available until January 28th at bit.ly slash U2's Miggy. That's Y-O-U-T-O-O-Z, Miggy. And pick it up. I have one. It's adorable and I love it. We've also got some other merch over at macronymurch.com. There's an energy dragon pin, speaking of Clubhouse.

10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. That's all there. Did we come up with an outro for the thing? Thank you to Montane for the Useful Rhythms song, My Life is Better With You. Thank you, Montane. So I think we should invite our listeners

to share with us their irrational or maybe silly fears that they have chosen to let go of this year. And to set the tone, I will go first. Wow, Travis will go first. You, Travis will go first? Yes, I will. You're going out on a lamy year.

It'll be hard to convince me that laughing at other people's fears. Yeah, Griffin and I were pretty firm about this at the beginning. In the year 20 Thunderdrive, faster than fear, I shall let go of my fear of the robot lady from Superman 3. Very brave, Travis, I take it all back, very brave.

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips. This is true, it's better, it's better with two by way. Ah, it's better with you.