My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 754: Dinglebuff Hufferbuff

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Come spend a whole hour alone with us and our many birds. They've started getting rather creative with cuss words and talk about how they bedangled their weewoo. We're not sure what it means, either.Suggested talking points: One Very Motivated Marmoset, Vanilla to the Poor, Death to the Rich, The Sapphire Pimpernel, Jim Inside, Sad Dad CharcuterieHarmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com MaxFunDrive ends on March 28, 2025! Support our show now and get access to bonus content by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like Life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Can we give ourselves a freaking pat on the back for our genius plan to make boo-coo bucks in the Max Fun Drive this year? The whole act, we thought, oh, it was so hard to come up with the year theme. Oh, we gotta do it twice. All that shit that we fully fucking made up and acted out on the spot so that we could

generate a year theme that kinda sounds like Max Fun Drive. Max Fun Drive. So we could generate a year theme that kind of sounds like max fun drive Max fun drive fun and everyone's been saying it all year like 20 Thunder Drive They've been saying the undrive like we got that fucking seed in their heads Griffin yeah, look at the light. Oh, no, we're live. No shit Rachel Rachel, please, no. Please, promise me, promise me. Don't leave any of that in, Rachel. I didn't see the red flashing light because I have Andromeda Strain and it made me go to sleep.

No. Farts. Farts, shoot. Your Andromeda Strain acts up at the worst times. Just go ahead and start, just do the show. Just forget it. Rachel, cut. Cutting all of it. Who the fuck are my brothers, my brother?

No, no, no, no, no, no. We need to come in better than that. Yeah, come in better. Okay, yeah. Yeah, take a deep breath. Maybe it's. Hello, brother! No, no, you got the gift.

Let's just skip that. We'll skip this part. Cut all that. Cut all that. And we'll just drop in the precanned shit. Like, you know how we have like, a hundred precanned like- Yeah, we set that in reverse.

Sorry, that might really sent me, guys. If that ever got out, how manipulative. It's a decon strain. Okay. Anyway, welcome to Max Fun Drive. Hello, my brother and brother and me. Nope. Yeah, I'm telling you, man, the precanned shit is aces.

We worked our taints off on that stuff, so don't even sweat it. Okay. Wait, oh, I'll start it. Yeah, yeah. Hello everybody, welcome to My Brother, My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What up, Trav Nation? Vroom, vroom, it's me, your middle-est brother, Travis Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy. I don't know why we're doing it. We got this in the can, but it's Griffin. We got this one in the can already. Well, we have to put it in the can to have it in the can. Yeah, first we gotta open the can.

We gotta put it in, make sure it's sanitary, because otherwise the can can get mushy. Well, you gotta boil that can. Boil can. I mean, it's the freaking Max Fun Drive. We should put in the most work. We should be doing jumping jacks while we do this. That's what they don't talk about.

Having it in the can is a lot of fucking work, guys. Someone's gotta put it in the fucking can, guys. How many of you out there listening have ever canned before? Yeah, it's a lot. That's what I thought. Yes. Oh wait, it's all of them.

I'm looking at our demographics, Travis. Everyone here has done canning. Wow. I have. Amazing. Yeah, no. Everyone here has done canning. Wow. Amazing. Yeah, no. We don't. It seems like too much work.

It is too much work. I would think our audience self-selects for a lot of canners. I feel like we attract a good- A lot of Goomstay preppers. No, like artisan canners. You know what I mean? Anyway, I can't-

It's for the aesthetic. It starts that way. It's the aesthetic and it's the whimsy. It's not out of necessity. Yes. They put those coiled up springs in plastic sheets that pop out. I can see.

And it's like, whoa, I thought this was canned tomatoes. Can you imagine being in a post-apocalyptic scenario and you're so excited because you found a pristine can of like beans or tomatoes or whatever, you open it up and like those coiled spring snakes pop out? Oh, shit. Hilarious, man. That's really funny.

Hey, so it is the Max Fun Drive. If we don't start talking about the Max Fun Drive, I'm gonna have an actual panic attack. I've been looking for the link to click on the thing, so I'm just gonna freestyle it right now. What is the Max Fun Drive? Okay, we're part of a podcast network. Wow, you're really freestyling.

If you're abstracting it out that far, man, you are freestyling way out. Okay, we're on a podcast network, and the way it works is it's like a pledge model, right? Once a year we come to everybody that listens, it's like, hey, if you like this, can we have a few dollars every month? If you like it, and you can give us a few dollars every month to help us make it,

and help us pay people to help us make it, and make all this stuff all the time to help more good stuff be on Earth. That's great. We would really appreciate it because we like making good stuff. And when you support us, we're able to make this our full-time job and make lots of good stuff for you

and hire people to help us make weirder stuff. And it's all thanks to your support. Genuinely, this show would not, it's wild that this show has been running for 15 years next month. No. Largely uninterrupted. That doesn't happen really, even in the world of

all comedy, independent podcasting space. But it's because of y'all and the support that y'all give us. I don't know if you noticed, podcast advertising, Mark, it's not the best it's ever been. There's really just a few road dogs we roll with these days,

a tight crew here on Mbem Mbem, and our livelihood- And one might argue, we're flapping off the back of their motorcycle, holding on for dear life. Very, very much so. And our livelihood and ability to support our families cannot exist solely if one of us doesn't say something wrong

during an advertisement. That's too high risk. We will drop that fucking ball in a second. It's because of y'all that we are able to do this. Now we do have something to offer you. We're not coming to you completely hat in hand. We have some very nice thank you gifts. Is it our respect, our appreciation?

Well you do get that, but if you can opt for $5 a month, you're going to get an absolute wealth of bonus content. I mean, it is an archive at this point. I think the Justin T. Mackroy Memorial archive of bonus content has its hands-on length. Oh man, this is how I find out? Days and days and days of videos and podcasts. This year we recorded a Hot Ones audition.

Yeah. No, listen, we love y'all and the support that you give us is the reason we do the show. If we get on fucking Hot Ones. Yeah, not a lot of people have the guts to put their auditions behind a paywall, but here we go! That's the kind of heat we're bringing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wolf and we've, and if you're wondering, we do fucking die. Yeah. It's brutal. We do terrible things to our bodies. While interviewing each other. Yeah, about increasingly sensitive, weird topics. It's must-see podcast TV.

Yeah, and, but also if you can do 10 bucks a month, pens are back. We got some beautiful show specific pens. There's a tribulation with it. I think you're just gonna love if you're a fan of our stuff. The address to go to if you wanna support the show, MaximumFun.org forward slash join. Please become a member today. It really is the only way we're able to do this show.

And I know that like you've been relying on this show being here for like 13 years, whatever, and we love making it for you. Almost 15. Almost 15, I did just say. Almost old enough to get its learner's permit, which is very fitting. Yes, I know that these 14 years, we've meant a lot to each other,

and this show means a lot to you, and I'm just saying it'd be a shame if something happened to it. So wait, what's that? I'm just saying, it's a real nice podcast you got here. Hey, Justin, I'm sure you really love listening to it and it's been around a long time. It's a real staple of the podcast community

and it'd be a shame if something happened to it. Jamin, just to quicken me, no, no, no, the Jamin's gone. It a shame if something happened to it. Jamie, just a quick- No, no, no, the Jamie's gone. It's me, the Penguin. Listen. Okay, Penguin. You've been listening to the McRoy Brothers, right? You thought you weren't gonna pay the door,

but these are my boys. Yeah. You're gonna pay my boys for what they're owed. Hey, Penguin. You're making a fool out of me. Penguin. The Penguin. Penguin, can I give you a quick note? Yeah, I have one Hey, Penguin, you're making a fool out of me. Penguin. The Penguin. Penguin, can I give you a quick note?

Yeah, I have one too, Penguin. Normally, I'm Travis. In the protection racket, people don't normally, in a business they own, yeah, threaten their customers. Their own business, yeah. Hey, you see this umbrella? Yeah. You see it?

Oh shit, there's bullets. You see that face he got up on the wall? God dang, there's bullets in there, man. You see the face on the wall? There are travneis, you look at this. Crash, crash, crash! But it's your face! You just smashed your own face!

No, I won't protect, that's Justin's face. Yeah. It's me, Penguin, your ward and consigniary, Puffin, and I want you to know that that's- Hey, Puffin, are you late for work? I wanna teach you the ropes. Where you going, Penguin? This laundromat, basically, that we own, we own-

We own, and the vase- It's a podcasting studio slash laundromat, please. If you don't take it seriously, yes, we let him record in our laundromat. Yeah, the vase cost $3,000 from you. Yeah, well. Are you okay? Don't pout. Penguin, don't pout.

Don't get fucking fussy, Penguin. Don't. Have you had breakfast? You know how to get. I came here to threaten the lizards not to pout about not having my McMuffin. Okay, well here's a sardine. But I didn't have my McMuffin.

Okay. That's what he calls raw fish. He calls sardines his McMuffins. Yeah. Please help us. He likes sardines his McMuffins. Yeah. Please help us. He likes the McMuffin raw and wriggly. Maximumfun.org slash join. Please, we're doing this for two weeks.

If you already remember, you can boost your support, help us hit our goals. We got a bunch of wild stretch goals. We'll talk about that a little bit later. And also we're gonna be streaming like every day for the next two weeks. So we'll talk all that later on. But for now, we're gonna give you a taste.

I was thinking since it's the Max Fun Drive that we could maybe elevate. That momentum building Travis. Yeah, we could elevate the quality of the content we make, maybe get a little high brow, maybe a little classy. Do you know that you have a tone of voice you say when you're about to rip a big fart? Well, it's funny you should say that, Griffin,

because it's time for a work of fart. Okay, but there's no theme song. So your voice goes like, eb eb eb eb eb, eb eb eb eb eb, eb eb eb eb eb eb. It hits like a curve, you have like a portamento to your voice when you're about to really take rip shit right on the floor. A lot of people don't realize that once you work

with your brothers for long enough, you can just start to dislike each other on a molecular level. You can really start to dismantle individual, it's not even words or ways people act, it's individual inflection. I have- I have fine hostile.

I have this frame piece of art in my room and it's three voice tracks, wave forms of our voices. And sometimes I'll look at two of those and just be like, God dang, these fricking guys, man. But go ahead, Travis, I'm not gonna grouse, I beat ass at this game. In this Jane Austen novel, while the sweet sister Jane falls in love with the anthropomorphic penis

named Mr. Bingley, the witty and oftentimes difficult sister Elizabeth Quarles slash falls in love with the anthropomorphic penis named Mr. Bingley, the witty and oftentimes difficult sister, Elizabeth quarrels slash falls in love with the anthropomorphic penis named Mr. Darcy. And this has dick or something in the title? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The easy part of this is the book. We all know that. Elizabeth. Yeah, for sure. We all know. Mr. Darcy. Yes. Mr. Bingley. James. Of course, yes. Jane Austen wrote it.

I think we all know the book. So let's figure out the pun from there, Griff. Griff, I see you Googling. No, no, I accidentally deleted an image out of one of our documents here. They didn't mean to do that. It was an image of someone's face and it looked like I was saying no, not them,

they can't be this type. Sense and sensibility is one of the options that is available. Maybe we're all right. I think this one's Pride and Prejudice. This one might be Pride and Prejudice. It's not Little Women. And there's two anthropomorphic penises

listed in the description. Okay, Pride and prejudice. I'll accept that, it's pride and prejudice. But I will accept prejudice. That's close enough, very good. Prejudice sounds like, and you know what? A more reasonable man would have just said prejudice, but I was trying to climb into the recesses and folds

of your dark, dirty, bad mind. Okay, if you get a cut back there, you will definitely get super tetanus. So please, please be careful. This Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel chronicles the multi-generational saga of the Buendia family in the fictional town of Macondo, where the patriarch, Jose Ocardio Buendia,

establishes a secluded, almost utopian community based on the consumption of lots of fiber and the importance of healthy bowel movements. A hundred years of solid poop? Yes, a hundred years of solid poos. Yes, thank you very much. Very good, though. I hate, like, I know.

A hundred years of solid poos! That would be the worst. That would be so bad. This Maya Angelou autobiography. Incredible things are would be the worst. That would be so bad. This Maya Angelou autobiography- Incredible things are happening across the river. People moving like monkeys, and their shits are of a more comfortable consistency. Good job.

This Maya Angelou autobiography spends a surprising amount of time on her struggles with constipation. I know why the caged turd sings. Travis, you should feel bad. You should feel bad. You should feel bad about that one. You should feel bad about that one.

That's an in-o. I feel so bad about it. You should feel so bad. I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad. I feel so bad. I don't feel bad. We're asking for money, Travis.

I know. Listen, I feel terrible about it. I don't- Support that. Make that happen more. Make that happen more. We should make it possible for people I feel terrible about it. Support that, make that happen more. Make that happen more with the money. We should make it possible for people to get a discount on their support of us.

If they wanna do $5 a month, they should be able to do 480 to send a message to Travis. Yeah, I feel- That enough is enough. Enough is enough. We're giving, you get a 1% discount and that 1% is for the works of farts that Travis does. That one hurt me, but I love it. Yeah, sure.

Okay. One more. Young Mary is sent to live in the home of her uncle. She feels alone at first, but eventually befriends a young man named Dickon and her cousin Colin. They bond over their reluctance to pass gas. The Secret Fartin'. Yes.

Travis is breathtaking right now. Travis is. The rest of that was over their reluctance to pass gas in public. Eventually the three find joy in a hidden plot of land where they can go and release their flatulence in peace. Ask Justin, Secret Fartin is correct. I'm really sorry because Secret Fartin was obvious,

but it was a very good setup that I should have let you complete. No, because part of the prize, part of the prize for us winning this game and getting these guesses so right is that there's less of this, is that there's less setup. When you see the ship coming in and you can see the name on the side from the distance say Secret Fartin,

you shouldn't have to stand there and wait to watch it die. That's the only one I think maybe I've ever come up with where I would actually like to see that version of it. I'm just, it's been like, if you'll excuse me for a moment. And then running out to a secret walled plot of land, passing gas like, oh, and then coming back inside. It turns out that that one kid's not sick. It's just, he keeps coughing to cover up his secret farting.

Oh, yeah, there's a problem with this branch. Look at this one. If've been this one just like this You see it's a problem with for me. You can tell for branches still alive. Look at this one That's a good one But look at this one over here no, it's more wet ones good to All my flowers are dead in a three foot circle around you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not good at gardening. These are all wick.

Check these, that one was wick earlier, that's weird. My father is so busy in the country. Huh? Ah! So busy in the countryside. My boyfriend has five birds that occupy their own room in the house. He spends an hour a day, at least, with him. And with them, I'm assuming? Yes.

Okay. And then he puts them to bed every night. I want to experience the joy of birds with him, but whenever I go into their room, they start screaming. Brothers, how can I get these little dinosaurs to like me? That's from bird brain. That's okay. Birds are very receptive. Birds know how you feel about them.

It's an evolutionary trait they have to to make sure that you don't stomp on them and take their eggs and steal their nest and become the mother of their birds, because that shit happens in nature all the time. So maybe you need to look inward first to figure out why you don't like the birds. I can answer one thing is because your boyfriend spends

one hour a day with the birds. And not with you. That's a lot of time. I hope the boyfriend spends at least 61 minutes with you. Not equivalent. It's not okay. Huh, doesn't look like that. Doesn't look like that. So how many minutes is bird minutes to human minutes

that they would need to spend with their partner to balance it out? I mean, it's an excellent question, Travis. I think it's actually 61 minutes is more hurtful than like 20 because I feel like 61 is like attempting equivalency, which is sad. I feel like it's better if it's like, I love a bird man.

Like, and I gotta accept he's a bird man. I love a bird man. I moved in with a bird man. I share them with the birds. I take the scraps. You know, like a Priscilla Presley, she realized she had to share Elvis with the world. With his birds.

With his birds and also his fans and the Colonel, you know, everybody. Colonel, everybody. Is it one solid hour, does he go in, does he clock in for an hour and clock out? Because I have to assume the birds, Is it one solid hour? Does he go in, does he clock in for an hour and clock out? Because I have to assume the birds- What do you do with birds for an hour?

For an hour! What happens in the other 23? Yeah! I will say this. Are they watching videos? Are they playing Fortnite? Oh wait, you guys are gonna love this one. Have you seen David after Dennis Byrds?

No, of course not, you're Byrds. Check this shit out. Yeah, check this shit out. You'll love it. Do you guys like alt comedy podcasting? Byrds, you're gonna love some of these jokes. Do you Byrds have any money? Maybe you scream back at them.

Oh, that's cool. This might be a respect thing, cause Byrds, they don't, hey, this might surprise you, they don't communicate the same way humans do. So maybe they're screaming because they're excited to see you and you scream back at them and they'll be like, hmm, nice. And now you've got their respect.

Maybe they don't like you, but they respect you. Does your boyfriend know the birds don't like you? Oh. You should, next time these birds start screaming at you, you need to be like the stepmom and parent trap and be like, do you see what these little shits are doing to me? Do you see this?

It's time- Send those birds to birding school. That's boarding school for birds. It's good, Travis. I'm so sorry I didn't recognize your genius. Thank you. But what if you wanna learn to bird? Then you're Brenda Frickering it as hard as you can.

You come in with handfuls- 2025, we gotta talk about Brenda Fricker less, or have her on Clubhouse, or have a funeral for her on Clubhouse if she has passed. I do not know which is, Jesus Christ. One of the two should happen, that's all I'm saying. Why did that upset you, Griffin? Why is that so hard to say goodbye?

If Brenda Fricker has passed, we should memorialize her. The irony is if you make a statue, will the birds know what's up? I don't know, it's like, if they poop on it, it's like, she would want that. She would want that, right? I think it is very- It's not that I want us to stop talking

about Brenda Fricker, I would like us to stop yelling about Brenda Fricker. That's true. I don't think that's too much. Maybe 2025, we all get to stop Brenda Fricker. We try to have more modulated or less modulated. We get excited because we know her name and that's cool. It's a fun name.

It's a fun name to say, it's a fun image. The problem is the fact that- When she throws the bird seed at Joe Pesci in T.G. More talk about Brenda Fricker. It's amazing. But I'm trying to do it, Justin. I'm trying to do it down here. I'm just gonna back to the question.

ASMR voice. I'm trying to do some Brenda Fricker ASMR. Go ahead, Justin, talk about not Brenda Fricker. What I was gonna say is that, I think the problem is the fact that there's a discreet room where the birds are located. And that creates this situation where you know how much time is being spent with the birds.

I will say this, if my wife had to go to a room to hang out with her cats, I probably wouldn't see my wife very much, if at all. Yeah. You know? I think it's very easy to sit here and say, wow, an hour. My cats are pretty much always with my wife

and she spends more than an hour telling them when I'm not being a great husband. You know what I mean? Sure. Sends a lot of time sowing seeds of discord with the cats. Like full time. I would also say that I'm betting your boyfriend came into this relationship with five birds

and it's not accumulated over the time you've been together. So now the birds- Why do you guess that? That's a wild guess. You're just so crazy. Absolutely. You have no idea.

I'm just saying that based off my own judgment that if my wife comes home with one bird, I'm like, okay, by the time we get to three, I think I'd be like, that's enough. You're replacing me with birds. Based off my own judgment, you had a hundred birds and 95 of them died and you should be really nice about the five that are left because he lost 95 birds.

Now that's just my own judgment of what might have happened. That's a little corner we call Justin's judgment. What I'm saying is, if he came in with five birds, the birds, you're not sharing him with the birds, those birds are sharing him with you. So when you come into the room, the birds are like, we get him an hour a day,

the rest of the house is yours. You get to hang out there. Why are you coming in the one room we have? Let the birds out. Let them out. Yes. Turn your house into an aviary. Birds will love you then. They know that they are prisoners because of you.

You're their warden. They know that they are prisoners because of you. You're their warden. They know that if it was his house, they would have free run of the place. That's why I'm saying the room is the problem. If you want the, birds are smart, man. Crows can do puzzles, okay? Yeah, man. It's 2025, crows can do puzzles.

They know that you're their warden. If you want them to love you, you must turn your home into an aviary and let them free. Let them fly free. Take the hinges off. Take the hinges off. Yep.

They gotta be free. Could you get five snakes? Huh. Could you get six cats? Whoa, hold on. Seven dogs, eight ponies, nine donkeys. Now, and listen, motivated marmoset. And what?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? How about another question?

Yeah, I'll help you with that, no problem. It's my absolute joy. I occasionally go to Madagascar on research and bring back some cured vanilla beans straight from the source. That is probably the most cost efficient way of getting them. Yeah.

Cause with the prices of vanilla beans. I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about that. I soaked them in vodka for months and then funneled them into little bottles to give to friends and family. Sounds like me on a rough weekend. On a rough weekend Travis soaks vanilla beans in vodka.

No, I soak myself. I soak myself in vodka, so I'm... I soak them in vodka and then send them to friends and family and podcasters. P.O. Box 54, 100 bucks for 50, 200 bucks for 706. Let's get that vanilla pipeline flowing. About a year ago, I gave each of my coworkers one of these little bottles.

When passing one particular, they put a frowny face emoji in there, which is new. An angry frowny face. An angry emoji. Coworkers office just now, I noticed her bottle is on a shelf full of junk, still in the Ziploc bag, untouched and collecting dust. What are my vanilla custody rights in this situation?

Do you think she'll notice if I grab it and take it back home for myself? Should I try to convince her to covet this special extract? That's from Vanilla in Vain. One, can I just say, I appreciate your pride and your craft to say this shit's dope and this loser waistoid is looking a gift horse in the mouth and then putting the horse in a bag, a dusty old dusty bag and I'm glad that you have the strength of your convictions to know

you are in the right here and this person's a fucking monster. I would, I don't know what to do with a bunch of beans soaked in booze. I imagine did bibble dabble it into cakes and creams and cookies and whatnot. Mm-hmm. It's just extract, huh? It's just vanilla extract. Vanilla extract, yeah. Maybe you just take that bag with the bottle off the shelf

when they're not looking, set it center of their desk, walk away. If you pass at a later time and it's back on that shelf, all yours. Yeah, but if she smashes it, cause she thinks a ghost got in the bag and is moving shit around in her desk. That's a problem.

And then she goes mad. Could you leave a note that says, a ghost didn't move this? I did. Don't even act like this is a ghost. I moved this, not a ghost, signed the Scarlet Pimpernel. And then you'll be like, god damn it guys, the Scarlet Pimpernel's back in our fucking office

and he's moving all of our shit around willy nilly. Can't stand him. Can we talk, if we could, wouldn't this be a good moment for the Scarlet Pimpernel to get back? Yeah, 2025, you mean like for this vanilla extract thing or just like in the world? I'm just saying it would be cool if there was a Scarlet Pimpernel. You know how he...

Yeah, so he is a chivalrous Englishman who rescues aristocrats before they're sent to the guillotine. What if... Different Scarlet Pimpernel. Twist. Twist. Excuse aristocrats before they were sent to the guillotine. What if, different Scarlet Pimpernel? Yeah, twist. Twist. He's like, actually, I brought you to my worst, guillotine. Yeah, I'm the blue Pimpernel.

I saw you from the other guy. I'm the Azure Pimpernel. I have brought you some extra aristocrats. Or crats, not the aristocrats. That's a different thing. No one's lining up to guillotine the Aristocats, that's a different thing. No one's lining up to guillotine the Aristocats, Travis. They're fucking delightful. We're bringing vanilla to the poor and death to the rich.

Yeah! Ha ha ha! Justin McElroy for president. Ha ha ha! And this is easy, guys, because the Azure Pimpernel, the Cerulean, the Sapphire Pimpernel, it's just a palette swap. We can take all the assets from the Scarlet Pimpernel and just do a little bit of work in the hexadecimal code.

Easy, easy adaptation. That's great. We're gonna have that roll out by, I think, April. Yeah, we are also gonna do some code branded stuff, so if you wanna slap a logo on there, you can have your own Philadelphia Flyers branded one or like a Mavs logo. Mavs for you, Mark.

Mavs, I would love to put a Mavs logo on there for you, Mr. Cuban, that would be huge. We'll put Mavs right on the back of it, Mark. When we get to Yellow Pimbranelle and Pikachu's in there, I'm gonna be so excited, you guys. That's where it's really gonna blow up. I would love to see Pikachu take a swing at some Aristocats.

I thought that sentence at the end. You thought, wait, which sentence? I would love to see Pikachu. I'd love to see Pikachu. I mean, it would be cool, not because I'd be excited to see Pikachu, but it would suggest that there are other real Pokemon too. Like, that would get me stoked.

You wouldn't be excited to see Pikachu? I would be like, whoa, right? that there are other real Pokemon too, like that would get me stoked. If I saw a Pikachu. I would be like, whoa, right? But I wouldn't be like, that's my dog, that's my guy. Like it would be exciting because I would know that the world of Pokemon is real, as I've frequently theorized. But for the actual animal itself. We've all read your dissertation, Griffin. Okay, I'm glad.

I worked really hard on it. You got your doctorate. Isn't that enough? We also work really hard on this show with a team of other people that we have been fortunate enough to hire. This is a Max Fun Drive Break. Oh, okay, whoo.

Did you wanna talk more about the, no, no, no, Penguin, we did you. Yes, so you think you can hold out on him, huh? Tell him what the money's for. When we started, it was the three of us talking into, oh, you gotta let me get through the copy, though, Penguin. You gotta let me talk, Ping. Oh, he's gesturing.

He's gesturing kindly. The floor is yours. What? It's the three of us clowns on rock band mics plugged directly into our computers. And now we have a team of people who help us to make a lot of stuff. Our video stuff blew up last year

because we have people to help us out. I didn't have nothing to do with that. I guarantee you. I heard about it. I heard about it blowing up. It was a real, real tragedy, but I wasn't anywhere in the neighborhood, okay? I don't know nothing about nothing blowing up, all right?

Okay, yeah. Do you like the McRoy Family Clubhouse? Because we did it last year, and it was because of the support that you gave us. We've made, like, I don't know, a couple thousand episodes of podcasts, and it's all because of you. So, maximumfun.org slash join is where you can go

to become a member or boost your membership. Should we talk about some of the gifts that we have? Fighting for people? May I? Travis, let's say I wanna get my beak wet. What do I get, what's in it for me, huh? So, and we should say that this penguin does have a beak. Yeah.

So like we mentioned earlier, at $5 a month you get access- I need you to stop moving your head like that, Penguin, if you don't mind. Thank you so much. At $5 a month you get access to hundreds of hours of bonus content that you only get as a Max Fund member. It includes all the past content from all the past years.

This year there's the My Brother, My Brother and Me Hot Ones audition. We did Charlie verse three for the Adventure Zone, which is Justin. Oh my God. Justin runs a one-shot adventure written by his daughter Charlie with contributions from all of our kids. It's wild.

It's so good. Sawbones Knights, Medical Mysteries. Schmaners, we did an episode all about genie wishes, the history of them, the etiquette of them, and how to best make your wish so you're not tricked by a genie. And as well- There's blueprints for Gotham City Bank.

Oh, okay. You look in the file, you do view all, see hidden, open all JPEGs, this is your map of Gotham City Bank, that's gratis, that's for you, that's a thank you. Wonderful did an map of Gotham City Bank. That's gratis. That's for you. That's a thank you. Wonderful did an episode of Hockey Talk Badaka Dog with Dave Schumka up here. It fucking rips.

It's just us asking Dave, for an hour, Dave Schumka plays hockey. So it's just for an hour, it's us going like, what's it like to play hockey? And it's good shit, man. And all of that is available for just $5 a month. At $10 a month, you get your choice of an enamel pin designed by Tom Deja of Bossman Graphics.

My brother, my brother, and he's got a Trav Nation. Taz has stopped calling me baby. Sawbones kill all the mosquitoes. Schmaners is a monster truck with flowers and teacups. Wonderful is Jeff the Poetry Dragon and still buffering as a seedy Walkman. There's $20 a month. This is a monster truck with flowers and teacups. A wonderful is Jeff the Poetry Dragon and still buffering as a seedy Walkman. There's $20 a month.

You get a 60 inch by 30 inch beach towel or Max Fun rocket logo bucket hat. There's also $35 a month, $50 a month, up and up. But all of those, even at just $5 a month, makes it possible for us to do this. If everybody gave $5 a month, it would be an absolutely just amazing year. And that money goes to the shows that you listen to.

It supports Max Fun, uh, in a small part, but the majority of the money that you commit to as a member goes directly to the shows that you love, the shows that you look forward to listening to and to the creators that make them. It's an incredibly unique setup that I, in all of my years of doing podcasts and talking to other people, doesn't exist anywhere else a way for the listeners to directly support the art and the artists that we love.

And we feel so special. In a rapidly changing media environment, to put it mildly, This has allowed us to weather so many storms because of your support. You know, like this is, it's so much more sustainable because we own it and it's ours and no big companies own it. They can't sell it to some terrible person.

So it's a good system and it's owned by the people that make it. So that's pretty cool, I think. And Max Fun is owned by the people that make it. So that's pretty cool, I think. And Max Fun is owned by the people that work there. That's what I meant. Max Fun is owned by the people that make it. You know, with the shows and the network itself, it's all co-op.

Also, if you have been listening for a while but have never become a member during the Max Fun Drive because you are uncomfortable with doing like a monthly support thing, there's also a prepay option. So you can just pay for the whole year, get all the great gifts and help us meet our goals. You can boost your membership that way also. We're going to have a bunch of stretch goals throughout the week.

This is the, you know, this will come out on the first day of the drive. The first one that we're announcing, if we hit 2,000 members, we're going to do a six thumbs Any% Star Road livestream on YouTube, the three of us playing the hardest levels in Super Mario World while sharing one controller. It'll be a disaster. Bunch of streams, did a Fuser Max Fun Drive kickoff party today, but we have a ton of stuff coming

over the next two weeks, every day, Monday through Friday, doing streams, and you can follow that on our Instagram. We'll be announcing timetables for that stuff too. So it is a two week ask that we make that basically determines, you know, how well the year goes now that we don't sort of rely on advertising so much anymore, especially on all the other shows.

But bam, bam, we still do okay, but all the other shows, it's fairly dry over there. So maximumfund.org slash join, help us make our shows, help us keep this thing growing and making stuff. And we appreciate you more than words can say. Do we wanna do a wizard? Do I ever? That's a lifelong dream, of course, yeah.

Let's do a wizard. Marshall- Now, Griffin, why do you keep saying it like that? Can we do it individually or that's a lifelong dream, of course, yeah. Let's do a wizard. Marshall- Now, Griffin, why do you keep saying it like that? Can we do it individually or that's like, all at once? Yeah, I'd rather it not be all at once. No, I mean- Let's dogpile this wizard.

No, no, I don't think so. Marshall sent it in first, but a lot of people have sent this one in, and it's been a dereliction of my duty that I have not done this one yet, and I do apologize. I do think maybe this could provide some guidance for us as we move forward as adults, as fathers.

It's how to replace swear words with less offensive words. Thank God. That was a good start. Yeah. Instead of think fuck, which is what I normally say. Thank piss. Thank pissies Make notes on how you swear brainstorm all the swear words you use. Oh my god. What a day. Yeah Honey, I can't help with dinner right now. I'm trying to think of all the swear words. I use fuck. Oh, that's one That's a good one

I'm trying to make this shitting list. Wait. Is that a normal way I use it or is that the first time? Hey, it was the last time you heard me say shitting. Do I say shitting a lot? Is that a common one? How many times would you say it? Three? Four times a day? Alright, I'm writing it down. Hey, hey, hun, can I say something and you're like,

I just want to watch your expression. Pussy. Oh my God! Justin. Okay, so that's one time? Good news is I don't say that one a lot. Okay, great. I won't put it on this.

Knowing how and when you swear is the first step in figuring out inoffensive replacements. For example, you might be able to identify your number one swear word and start by replacing just that one. I do appreciate the work that our listeners and Travis have done in helping us compile some of our swear facts, because I've been trying

to clean up my act since that dark truth came out. Can I tell you the excitement of building a bracket of swear words to figure out which one I say the most, which one comes down the number one seed? Because I'm betting there's a Cinderella story in there where I think it's fuck, but it turns out like I say shit. Oh, coming around the bend, it's bastard? What? No way!

No way! Travis says dookie, more than he thought. I would love to know, this is, the information that I need is, what is our like least used swear word, right? Like where are we like, oh no, even the malware. If they, this is like, there has to be a word where if we use it, it's really bad, right? Cause there's gonna be a few words

that we've only busted out a few times, like real, real stinkers. We don't say ass, which is weird. We say all the other ones. Yeah, that's true. I will never say H-E double hockey sticks. No way. That's where the devil lives.

That's where he lives. If we had started this thing, this is the advice I give to new podcasters. Don't say ass, say A-S-S forever. So much so that it makes people, people will be so weirded out by it after a certain point, cause you'll say all the other ones. Say all the other ones.

Say all the other ones, because what you're doing is you're gonna reserve that one and 15 years in, you're gonna say it for the first time and it's gonna have an impact like you've never imagined. Yeah. You could also do it for D-A-M-N and then you hit one of those one day while you're really angry and just like the foundations

of the building start to crack and crumble. What with the raw power of it. Think about places where you cannot swear. They've listed some office, school, church, anywhere near children. You can't curse at the office? Oh, it's so woke now. No, you can't curse on the show The Office.

Oh, okay, yeah, that's true. No, that's on network TV. That's true. That show would have been so much better. If it was just like, my fucking stabilizer's in the fucking cello again. God damn it, Jim! The British version did their job too. I'm gonna kill you with a gun, Michael! Fuck!

I'm gonna shoot your shittin' ass! Fuck! Pam, you're eatin' my guts! Outta my body! Ow! Fart Ow fart shit. Wait is it the walking dead now? Yeah, fuck Pam you're a dead zombie. You're eating my fucking brain ouch ouch Yeah, ouch Pam Kevin made a big pot of human chili We're all eating his human brain chili and he fucking spilled the human brain shot on the fucking carpet

dang Jim Get over there Andy you bastard And he fucking swirled the human brainchild in the fucking carpet. Dang, Jim. Get over there, Andy, you bastard. Jim's the only one alive. And he keeps looking at the camera like, can you believe these guys? It's like, Jim, get the fuck out of there. Get out of there, Jim! Don't look at me!

The camera guy's a zombie, Jim! I do like the cold open where he painted Jim inside on the doors. That was funny, that got me. That was good. And then he kind of smirked at the camera, you know, in the way that he does. When your boss is a zombie.

Yeah. You thought your boss was brainless. Oh, yeah. There's jokes there for sure. We won't be brainless. We should write a song about it. Yeah, right, exactly. So think about what you're trying to say when you swear.

Sometimes swear words are used in ways that are far different. Trying to say fuck. Okay, let me finish. Sometimes swear words are used in ways that are far different. Okay, let me finish. Sometimes swear words are used in ways that are far different than their actual meaning. For instance, the B word technically means female doll, while the A word means donkey, and the D word means wishing one person to an evil place

or a barrier to obstruct the flow of water. I don't think that any of that. And ass also means butt, right? No, it means donkey. For instance, this exam really F'd me over, doesn't say much. While I didn't do well on this exam because I hadn't studied enough

for the section on thermal dynamics, is much more specific. Yeah, and they hit the same way, at the same level for sure. And, hey, hold on, article. You can recognize that one of those has like eight words and one has like 27, right? Like, there is a reason that maybe we wouldn't

throw out all of the words, you just say, I fucked up, instead of saying, yeah, so I didn't get a good night's sleep last night and I forgot. And I didn't do my due diligence in studying certain topics specifically thermal dynamics Just speaking of yelling words that sound like curse words I did want to bring up on the screen here in the in the PlayStation game Masters of the terrors Kasi

It's a Star Wars fighting game. There is a game who I'm not even attempt the actual name of this character because in the game is called horror the actual name of this character, because in the game he's called Hoar. Hoar? Hoar! Hoar! In the game he says Hoar.

And I had a lot of fun with that as a kid, because I would lose, and then I remember one time I yelled, you stupid Hoar! And then Dad came in, and I got to be like, actually. Got you, got you, Mac. Freaking got you. Let's get to finding some substitutions, okay? There's quick euphemisms, funk instead of.

Kahar, kaharhar. Kaharhar. Nails it full name. Please. Darn, instead. That's my father. Call me Frank Kaharhar. What the F, what the heck, or what the barnacles instead of what the F?

Also, what the hell? Wait, also what the hell? Acceptable. Let me just say this. If I'm working in an office setting, and maybe- Something has gone terribly wrong. Something's gone terribly wrong.

Not enough people supported the Max Fund Drive, and now I have to take a day job back at the office, selling paper, and I've just found out that there's a huge return on an order I sell, and I yell out, out that there's a huge return on an order I sell and I yell out what the barnacles. I think I will be called into HR. Yeah, good news though Travis. The article this week has got also other great suggestions. Invent new inoffensive expletives to use instead of swear words. Since these words are newly

invented they won't offend some people like swear words will. Use your imagination to invent replacement words and phrases like, brace your ass. I'm ready. Boca-Luca. Nope. Igua-Mualasha. No.

Boca-Luca. Boca-Luca. Why are there so many syllables? Igua-Mualasha. This sounds like a Sim who is like, you know, they couldn't nut when they made Wahoo or whatever and they climb out of bed all pixelated like, Igamolasha.

Igamolasha. This sounds like James Cameron trying to come up with curse words in Knockout. It does. But how about, with this one though, this one actually does hit. Dinglebuff. Aw, Dinglebuff.

Dingleb buff does hit. I'll give you that one. Dangle buff makes me feel angry. I love the musical stylings of dangle buff, humper, humper buff. This work is great. Travis, you're allowed to cuss again. If it stops me from saying dangle buff, humper buff,

we'll pay it. All I'm saying is that when you think about swear words, they're single syllable, very percussive. Fuck, shit, damn, right? Bastard. Bastard. And now you're introducing ingra from whatever, like give me a solid percussive sound

that means, that doesn't have, but feels the same way. You won't like this one then. I literally bedangled my pants. Pfft. That sounds like- Is that the example they gave? Yep, I literally bedangled my pants. That sounds like- Is that the example they gave? Yep, I literally bedangled my pants. That's a 90s fashion trend.

Yeah, we were all bedangling our jeans. I just wanna, okay, wait. If the example is I literally bedangled my pants, then what they're saying is, I mean, the only cursor they can be replacing is like, I literally shit my pants. And so what they're saying is like, I shit shit my pants. And so what they're saying is like, I shit my pants.

Like that is what they're- No, I literally did. I literally shit my pants. Unless you're admitting to fucking your own pants, I guess. I fucked my pants, I guess. In a sense, I asked my pants. I literally fucked my pants. And I understand why I'm in this courtroom today. I get it, I literally fucked my pants. And I understand why I'm in this courtroom today.

I get it, I literally fucked my pants. I shit in my pants. I shit in my pants, I get it. I do kind of like having a neutral- I throw myself at the mercy of the court. Having a neutral term for I've made a mess in my pants, but you don't know which hole, that's like kind of fun for me.

It could mean any number. I've dirty, I've- I dirty my- I've shamed all of it. I've shaved my it. I've shaved, I've shaved my pants. I've co-acquired my pants. I've brushed my pants. He was, he was so glogged up. Now, that sounds like constipation.

That doesn't sound- Yeah, I got my wee woo beat at bowling last night. No. Now stop. Because that could mean you were defeated in bowling and wee woo is replacing ass or my essence. It could also mean- You showed up, you went for the bowling estate. For getting beat off at bowling.

Or maybe as someone swung back with the Weemote, they punched you in the dick. Yeah. This is why we need curse words. Cuss words, they're important. Because you can't tell dick from ass unless you say those words. Yeah. That's why we mean curse words. Cuss words, they're important. Because you can't tell dick from ass unless you say those words. Yeah, it's true.

You can't tell them apart without using the bad words. You have to use them. We can also agree that if you're trying to replace, maybe let's say, dick with wee woo, there might be situations in which saying wee woo might be, let's say, a mood killer. There might be a problem. Absolutely. It might be a problem. Absolutely. Absolutely, yeah.

Yeah, for sure. If you were to say, for example, that feels so good on my wee woo, that might be the end of maybe an experience. But then they would be like, I thought your wee woo was your butt. And you'd be like, well, in my family growing up, hey, you can also use- Wait, what do you think

bedangling is because we're about to talk about that as an option. Yeah, if I start shouting, I'm gonna bedangle, what does that mean to you? Tell me now, before we get intimate, use outdated swear terms. Some words that were once used as offensive swear words have become either more acceptable or have generally been forgotten.

Bring him back. Bring him back, bring him back, bring him back. Consarn it, instead of darn it. Oh, well instead of, damn it. They didn't blur this one for some reason. They blurred all the other cusses. Consarnate, Zuderkens, a 17th century term for God's wounds or zounds.

So this does sound like something Paul of Lark would yell. Why do you need a 17th century term for zounds? Just say zounds. Is that not, are you not allowed to say zooms these days? Zooms! Yeah, Fop Doodle for dumbass. Hey, if you call me a dumbass, I'll be like,

all right man, if you call me a Fop Doodle, I'll throw hands. These hands are coming out and they're coming out fast. I will beat your wee-woos so hard. These say you're one wee-woo Fop Doodle, I'll be like, get the hands out, because I'm throwing mine, and I want it to be fair, and I want it to be cool.

I'm gonna bedangle your face up. I don't talk about fighting a lot on this show, but there's certain words in here that if you call me a Gadsbuddlykins, unknown derivation, yeah, because you just fucking made it up like ye how. Yeah, it's not real. Hands coming out. Borrow fictional swear words,

frack or frack from Battlestar Galactica, gore-am from the Firefly series. I will literally wedge at you so hard, you will severance right then and there. You'll become two people from the phones of the wedgie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in a foreign language. No, that's cussing. Bleep yourself. This bleeping movie is stupid. I lost my bleeping phone. Hands. Absolutely.

Speak out. Absolutely. Ow, my bleeping wee woo. I do get offended by this. I'm realizing this is what being offended feels like. I would be offended if someone is so worked up about profanity that they commit a far graver sin, and that is resting my attention away

with some haggard, old, dusty bullshit. Please, just like, don't, dude. Like, don't, don't do it with words, don't do it with clothes, don't. Just don't. I'm do it with words, don't do it with clothes. Don't, just don't. I'm trying to do other things. Don't say sounds or frippery or any of that and make me think about you.

No, frippery, frippery fucks. You can say frippery. Don't say, I'm sorry. Don't say that kind of stuff. Don't make me think about you, it's mean. My personal, one of my personal pet peeves is when in like written advertisements, say a newspaper article or a billboard, they will have a curse word, but it's censored out.

And it's like, you thought you were so naughty. You felt so, and so you invoked fuck, but you didn't wanna put fuck because you get in trouble. So you put F and then the shit and it's like, but I'm thinking fuck. I know. Have confidence in yourself. So if you're trying to type that stuff, it's tough. It's so much work.

Like if you're trying to like, you're typing something for use and you're trying to like put in the symbols and stuff. It's not as easy. Like if you guys try to do like, try to do motherfucker in your browser bar right now. If you type the symbols. I'm not searching that.

Text motherfucker to dad. Just to like, test it. I have no problem with that. I deleted the picture of the person again from this fucking document. It really seems like I'm holding a grudge. And I don't know how you do the symbols to make it, like if you wanna censor that out.

Speak eloquently. Circumlocutions or ways of getting around saying something that you don't want to or shouldn't can be used as another way of replacing swear words. This is some of the worst stuff, guys. Instead of, I can't find my keys, I'm so effed. Try, by the beard of Zeus, I declare,

I have lost my keys and this has thrown me into a woefully anguished state of mind. This is assuming someone is hearing it, right? Like someone will hear you say it. If not, implied. Is that allowed to cuss when no one's it, right? Like someone will hear you say it. If not, is that implied? Is that allowed to cuss when no one's around, right? Right, so the only reason,

is this just to please God? Because like, if that's what it is, like slow down before you're about to curse and curse God on your own. Like slow down and like explain to him that you're not that bad. Because if it's around other people, I don't think that's fair to anyone to know you're that all I'll say to say that to them around them

you're in the grand scheme of things and Listen, I'm I don't buy into it. But do you think God cares if I say fuck? Travis you gotta get saved you gotta get I did Griffin. And you know that cause I liked the attention I got. 15 years, last 15 years. Oh, I have to re-up it. But do you think that when I say fuck, upstairs God is like, oh man, Travis. Travis, you done did it again.

Just to understand that you're doing this for your job is what I wanna know. Yes, yeah, God gets it. God's a podcaster. He loves that alt comedy shit. I would never do this outside of the context of this show. I hope everybody knows. If you meet me in my day-to-day life,

I'll still cuss, because that's part of the performance. You know what I mean? Like that extends. Yeah, yeah, mask. You're meeting the character Justin McElroy, who is a cursor, but if you somehow were able to observe me without me knowing that I'm being observed by a listener, which is impossible. I've trained those senses. Yeah, he doesn't exist when that happens, yeah. Yeah, I've trained those senses. But if you were to observe me without me knowing that I'm being observed by a listener, which is impossible. I've trained those senses.

Yeah, he doesn't exist when that happens, yeah. Yeah, like I've trained those senses. But if you were to see me without me knowing a listener was observing me, I would never, ever, ever curse. No, no. And I don't interrupt people, I don't speak loudly, my voice is totally normal and pleasant to listen to. All of this is a character.

My words I think of as a beautiful gift. And so when I cuss and I make dirty stuff out there, it's just not something I'm comfortable with doing, not for the show. That's a part of my life that you don't get access to, actually, listeners. Well, and it's wasted. These are fun words that we use to make you happy. Why would I spill my fucks upon the ground?

Dirty. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna waste those. I'm saving those for Max Fuckdrive. Can we? Now, Travis, I don't think that- Did I lose my right to curse again? You did, Travis. I'm gonna put you in the penalty box. I'm Secret Agent Max Fuckdrive. And I'm here to ask you to donate to the maximum fund When I'm shifting up the gears in the fuck mobile

I'm only thinking about one thing and that's how much I love the back road brothers podcasting not now Daphne Wait is the car Daphne the car is Daphne Fast and Furious 12. Is the car Daphne? Wait, is the car Daphne? The car is Daphne. Fast and the Furious 12. The car is AI. The driver is Pierce Brosnan, rolls up to La Familia, and Vin's like, I don't know, guys.

Like, I know we have an open door, big tent policy here in La Familia, but this seems pretty wildly out of aesthetic for us, shall we say. It is Max Fuckdrive, the British secret agent spy with a car named Daphne that's artificial intelligent. I don't know, guys. I think we say-

Does he fuck his car? Let me say this, I will say this. Max Fuckdrive is such a big swing. It's probably something we need to run through the whole team. Like, everybody needs to hear. Like, he's more of a thematic element that everyone's gonna need to run through the whole team. Like everybody needs to, like he's more of a cinematic element that everyone's gonna need to buy into.

That's not McElroy, that extends to everybody. That extends out, and listen, I know we broke the dam when we brought John Cena into this cinematic universe to play basically John Cena, but I do have to draw the line at Max Fuck Drive. There is, I have principles. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I wanna munch! Squad! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, I want to munch! Squad! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba,

welcome to Munchy Brod, it's a podcast with a podcast profiling, latency, grace, and brand eating. I have a quickie for you today B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- And that's great. I do like it. I want it so bad. I'm so hungry. I want it. I don't like it. Tell me about it. What do you see there, Griffin? You're a fancy guy. We're looking at, imagine if a Super Bowl party, a car delivering food to it, got in a terrible accident.

And then this is what the paramedics were able to recover from the wreck. It is a Pizza Hut pizza charcuterie tray. Move over, Salami and Brie. Pizza Hut is taking charcuterie to the next level just in time for Pi Day. Yeah, baby. Introducing Pizza Charcuterie,

a customizable Instagram-worthy pizza board designed for the ultimate social gathering. Whether hosting a Pi Day celebration, a watch party, or just looking for an easy but impressive way to elevate your get together, Pizza Hut's new pizza charcuterie is the ultimate crowd pleaser. Think of it as a build your own experience.

That's as fun a design as a decision devour. No. Hey, hey, pizza already comes ready to serve in a container. In a great shape, an awesome shape that we all are crazy about. I've never thought, oh, I love pizza so much, but it's so hard to serve up and get out to the people. I know, I'll pile it up in a big, correct mess.

Tossed in a mess all, helter skelter. Why are some of the wings in a bowl and some of the wings not in a bowl and some of the breadsticks are in a bowl and some of the breadsticks are not in a bowl? Well, Travis, it's like when you pour sake. For a friend, you're supposed to overflow the cup. They have overflowed the cup a lot,

I will say with the slimiest looking buffalo wings. God, I would fuck this up so bad though. This is also a great way that if you got pizza specific to people at your party and they're like, I want it with this or I'm allergic to this. Be like, hey, now nobody will like it. Cause it's touching everything. Everything's touching everything.

It's awesome. Do you like a little bit of buffalo wing on your cheese stick and a little bit of onion on your cheese pizza? And yeah. Oh, okay. Here you go. Enjoy this morass of edibles.

To help launch the Peter Sharcuterie, Pizza Hut teamed up with Robert, sorry, one second. You can do it. No, Griffin, I can't, because the last name is Gronkowski, and you cannot call him Robert Gronkowski. I refuse! I refuse! With pizza scientist Robert.

The man's name is not Robert, he's in a Pizza Hut ad, he's not Robert Gronkowski. Rob Gronkowski is in this ad, and the link to it doesn't work, and that's as hard as I'm gonna work to see Rob Gronkowski stack up pizza. Quote, we've seen creative charcuterie boards take over social feeds.

We knew it was time to give pizza the spotlight it deserves, said Melissa Freeby. Yeah, finally, because let's's be honest stacking crackers is cute, but stacking pizza wings and breadsticks. That's a power move and I gotta say Melissa I Agree, I want to say good. I'm glad Charcuterie has been not very good for a long time and I'm glad everybody got together I've been very vocal about this to Travis, and everybody's great about this,

and I'm glad that we finally, pizza's like, oh yeah, you guys like to eat before dinner? Fuck you! There's something you can eat before dinner? Dinner! A huge lack of both pates and dried ass apricots on this board, and I am loving that vibe in a major way. The only problem with it is that there are still olives.

Yeah. That is the only problem. There are olives on some of them. Can I tell you 100% what this is giving me? I've been staring at it as one might stare into the abyss. This is the most divorced dad weekend with the kids trying to prove he's still fun. Oh, don't make it sad. It could also be- Don't make it sad, also be, it could be sports with your friends.

It could be anything. Trying to prove you're classy too. You could be buying a pizza truck from your friends trying to prove to them that you're a good dad. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know.

You could be trying to prove to all kinds of people, with the office, maybe you're trying to prove the office you're a good dad. Yeah, you never know. Mr. Wilkins, in the case, the custody battle between you and your ex-wife, oh, what's this? Oh, you brought a little pizza charcuterie board in for the court, oh, well this is, you know what?

You are a good dad, I can tell. What's that, you dressed up as an old British lady just still spend time with your kids? Yeah, no, no, no, there's no way. You're going to prison. What's this? You're submitting evidence to the court? Pizza charcuterie?

Pizza charcuterie? Have your own TV show. Thank you, Mrs. Doubtfire. Anyway, that's the news. It's two pizzas, eight rings. More like Mrs. Doubtflavor. Hey, thank you so much for all of your support. If you don't yet support the show,

there's a lot of great bonus content available to you. If you go to maximumfun.org forward slash join, I think that you are going to be very delighted with the things that you find there. We've got videos, we've got audio, we've got so much stuff, and I think you're just gonna love it. And maybe you're already a MaxFun member, which thank you so much,

we appreciate your ongoing support. But maybe this is the year that you consider upping your membership to the next level, maybe go from five to 10 or something like that, to show a little bit more support if you're able to, we would really appreciate it. And we also wanna encourage you, stay tuned to the Macro Family Instagram,

because as we hit those bonus goals, as we're doing live streams and stuff like that, we're gonna be announcing all of that there on our stories and such, and you won't wanna miss it because we've got stuff planned for every day, and we want you to be a part of it, we want you to be there, because this isn't just about asking you for your support,

it's also a way for us to say thank you and give you some extra content as a little thank you for your support. We would also a way for us to say thank you and give you some extra content as a little thank you for your support. We would never call it content though. We would never call it content. Extra joy? No, that's gross too. Extra.

Extra videos. There we go. Sensory pleasure. Yeah, so make sure you check that out. And do the eyebrow thing too that Justin did, the nasty eyebrow thing. I don't have the control over it like Justin does. When I do it, I have to look like I'm staring blank faced.

Hey, hey, hey. Listen, we lost the fucking iHeartMedia Podcast Awards for Best Ad-Read again last night to fucking Conan, man. He's already won it. He's already won it, it's not his turn. What, a man? How? How is this possible? Hey, Conan, I! I've already won it! He's already won it! Jesus! He's already won it, it's not his turn. What? No, man, how? How is it possible? Conan, hey Conan, I know you listen.

He doesn't need it, it's not fair. We'll write our names in Sharpie. What are you gonna do with two of them? Just send it over to us. You don't need it. We do, and we also need your support. You don't need both. This show would not exist without the people

who have supported us in the past in the Max Fun Drive. This is the time where, if you enjoy our shows and you want to support our ability to continue making it and growing it and doing video stuff and all kinds of wild shit, then maximumfun.org slash join is the link for you. You can prepay for a whole year if you want to and help us hit our stretch goals

and get a bunch of incredible. If you've never given, there's like, there's over a decade of bonus, hundreds of hours of bonus content. It's obscene when you become a member. Maximumfun.org slash join. Thank you. And thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song.

My life is better with you. And thanks to the penguin. Thanks to Penguin for stopping by. Yeah, it was a pleasure. Thanks for having me. I forgot to pull a faster than fear, so I'm doing it as quick as I can. You got one job you can never miss me, Travis.

Yeah, Penguin, what are you scared of? Yeah, I'm happy to, I don't, you want me to get vulnerable? Yeah, sure, what are you scared of? What are you gonna stop being scared of this year, Penguin? Batman. Batman. I'm Travis Zachary. I'm Big When I'm Justin. This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me.

Kiss your dad square on the lips. It's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two By way of hearts

It's better with you