My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 757: Face 2 Face: Ain’t No Horny Like Goose Horny

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

We’re dominating LIVE from the Dominion Energy Center in Raleigh, NC. The audience is honking to win Travis’s money while we answer needling questions about belting showtunes, same birthdays, and invoking That Frasier Feeling™.Suggested talking points: Vatican 2.3, Business Penguin, New Ways to Make Untertainment, Martin Crane Impersonator Who Brings His own Chair, Crime TrailerNational Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Well Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool babies? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripen into a precious friendship. Our small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better, it's better with you. This is true. It's better, it's better with two. My life, it's better with you.

Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy What's up Trav Nation? It's me your middle brother Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy Hey what's up? It's me your sweet baby brother brother, 30 under 30 media luminary, Bill Ford, Tough Griffin, McElroy. Yeah. Yeah. And let's give another round of applause for our dad, who's cosplaying as the flush tonight.

Yeah. Try it. Our dad, thanks, Paul. Appreciate it. It's for my sweat. I'm going to get really raunchy this show, thanks Paul, appreciate it. This is for my sweat. I'm gonna get really raunchy this show. So Paul called it a two, he was like one towel show or two towel show, Jay man.

I was like, it feels like a two towel show. He said, depends on how many white claws I spill all over the gosh dang place. Interestingly, maybe connectedly, Justin, I enjoy your speed racer on vacation cosplay. My speed racer shirt had a noticeable mustard stain on it. Not so noticeable that I noticed it before I packed this morning, but I, it noticeable enough to, to leave it at home. Uh, I bet that happens to the real speed racer.

Don't worry. He's moving too fast to be careful with mustard. He can't be a meat eater, no way. Yeah, yeah, but so it's more of a casual day. But I'm not the person I wanna make fun of. Our dad is. Oh, okay. Okay. Did you guys get that text?

Oh man, we got a pretty good Clint McRoy text today. Can we tell you the tale of it? Cause it, I promise it hits. And it's seasonal. I am busting right out of my collar of this. They love it. You're so eager for it. If you sense a certain nervous energy from me tonight, more than usual,

it is because I have a light case of food poisoning and wearing a one piece coverall jumpsuit. High stakes podcast. I live on the fucking edge. The Saw movies have gotten much lower stakes. Yeah. But they are funnier. Anyway, we're not making fun of me or you or Travis. Yeah, or me. Either one of us. Why would you make fun of me? We're making fun of our dad. So here's the text that we got today from our dad. Doctor Who canceled as Amazon deal confirms rebranded

Doctor Who reboot. Now, for those of you listening at home in audio, the difference is, get this, the first doctor is spelled out. Right. And the second doctor just says DR. So next image please, Paul. Yeah, so here's the text of dad sending it to all of us.

Now where he says, that's like to every, that's us and all of our wives. Is, which is fucking wild, like a wild scattershot approach yeah I don't know if he added but the end is just the beginning as his own sort of putting his own spice on it but I do like there was a large gap in between there were no one responded right and then and it fucking rules that he lets us know exactly which app he shared this important news bulletin from. Yeah.

The Google app you say? Now next, next, next. Now what's so fascinating is this was a story from April 1st, 2024. Which for those of you keeping home, keeping score at home, is 365 days prior to the text we just showed you. Now that's one unifying factor. The other one is that it is from a website called Doctor Who TV, the exact same goddamn website.

On the exact same fucking day, April 1st, Paul, next image please. Yes, that was texted to us on April 2nd, 2024. Four, yeah. This website has our dad's fucking number, man. And I also wanna highlight here in this text thread, Justin, what I'm going to say is a very gracious response. Holy crap, Justin never shows this kind of grace, y'all,

especially not to dad when he does something objectively pretty funny. Called next image. So I just wanted dad to know last time he got grace. This is the this year thread in which Justin responded, sorry it took me so long to respond to your text dad. I wanted to stop driving and make sure I had a good screenshot of it. Okay, so that's the story of our April Fool's text from dad. Look forward to 2026, April 2nd. One of these days, Dr. Who's really gonna get

canceled or some big shakeup's gonna happen and he's not gonna believe it. I know we've talked about this before but to be like a PR person on April Fool's Day when something big breaks and you're like, can we wait? This can go out tomorrow, right? What do we do here, Justin? We don't just dunk on our dad. Well, my friend, thank you so much for asking. We don't just dunk on our dad. We don't just dunk on our dad.

We also dunk on our dad while we help you our beloved friends We're gonna take your questions and turn them out coming like into wisdom Like I don't know any other way to do it a friend from work has recently got me into watching Richmond Pro Wrestling RPW represent I have come to realize that I would really like to be in the ring as a ref. What is something that would help me stand out from all the other referees? And that's from reffing in Richmond. Are you here? All right. All right. Can I ask, there was a All right, all right. Can I ask, there was a big crowd response to Richmond Pro Wrestling.

Is that like a big deal here? Seems like a trap. I don't know why you'd shit talk it after everyone cheered. No, no, no, I'm asking. It could just be a combination of hearing the name of your city. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And pro wrestling together. This is what I was gonna say. Makes you very happy. If I was seeing a show in Huntington and someone referenced Huntington pro wrestling, I'd probably cheer just to be safe. Yeah. Yeah, that's something I like.

Yeah. I support that in theory, if not with my money. Here's what I know about wrestling referees, is that they are not often extreme sticklers for the rules. So that could be a nice energy to bring is you actually have the book up there and you're constantly huge book and you're going to get in there. Like when you see like a submission hole taking place, I want you to get really, really, really deeply close looking at it just to make sure there's no measuring tape maybe.

And you're like getting, Oh no, they're not there yet, it's fine. Do a lot of slapping them on the back to separate which is not traditionally something done a lot. Make them sit in the corner, like no you did bad. Sit in timeout. You could look really, really concerned all the time. Mm. Oh no, oh, owie, ouch.

Here's one that you could try, if you were to, as a referee, institute an instant replay, but it's a live instant replay. So like, if you didn't see it, you're like, stop. Do it again. Do it again, just like you did it, exactly, you promise.

Now, it's been a long time since I watched pro wrestling, but I don't remember the referees having storylines. So, well, maybe big character arc growth, maybe big wrestling things going on over here. You turn away, you look at a picture of a lost love, maybe. Somebody you haven't seen since you signed up for referee school, but once you get out, you're going back there,

you're gonna propose to them. Yes. Something like that, and then you get murdered in the ring. Hey. Now hold on, let's explore that. That seems bad. But you come back. Oh, oh, I like that.

And you're your own twin, there to get revenge, but only as a referee. But you're only refereeing, you're not, it's so important, you can't cross that line. Yeah, no, you're not a wrestler. It's're only refereeing, you're not, it's so important, you can't cross that line. Yeah, no, you're not a wrestler. It's hugely unprofessional, you're not a wrestler. You are a referee and you should take pride in that. You come out third, because I think it's wrestler, wrestler, but this time, now angry referee

comes out to their own theme music and they're like, I'm going to make sure you lose by cheating and fudging calls. Okay, that actually- Because you murdered my brother. Okay. The referee should be first. Otherwise, how can they protect the sanctity of the ring? You know, what if they, what if the ref doesn't go first

and they try to use that opportunity to hide ladders? And like, you know what I mean? Hammers and things. Like the ref has to be there from the beginning so you can make sure there are no hammers hidden anywhere. You make it? Yeah, before every match,

do a 30 minute sweep of the perimeter. I gotta make sure guys, they tuck all kinds of crazy shit. Everybody in the first four rows, you need to pick up these folding chairs and move them back. This is not a safe situation. These chairs could be picked up

and used against the wrestlers. Here's what I think is gonna set you apart not only from other Richmond professional wrestling referees but any referee ever you're gonna build a big cloud that you can sit in okay flies around you're gonna need to hook this up to a thing and you're over the whole ring that's cool are we thinking like Jesus Christ or Goku? No, I was thinking more like the turtle guy in Mario Kart that follows you around.

And every so often, if a wrestler breaks the rules, you just lower down a little fishing hook, you grab that wrestler, you pick him up, you take him back over to the corner. That's cool. Jesus Christ can actually do that too. Oh, he's a fisher of men. That is true.

He's a fisher of males. Scoop you right up, baby. Since Vatican II, he has been able to. That's the Vatican II edition, yes. Huh. It's a new upgrade. Does he charge you coins when he does it? No.

That's in Vatican 2.3. Oh. I am- I love the John Cena skin in Vatican 2.3. When they added lightsabers though, I thought it broke it. Yeah, for sure. I'm currently being harassed by a goose at my place of work.

I enter and leave out a side door every day that few other people use, but lately there has been an aggressive goose blocking the way. I've never had any problems with geese before, but this goose, whom I've named Moose, as I am also afraid of those, hisses and bites at me as soon as I get close to the door. Here's the kicker. He does not harass anyone else who uses the door.

He happily waddles away for them. Brothers, animals have always liked me, so why does it sound like this goose wants me dead? And how do I make amends with it? That's from a goose in need of guidance. Are you here? Oh, the goose got him. Oh no, no.

The goose was outside. They're like, you're gonna enjoy a comedy show tonight. Ah, isn't that nice? I think that I might've seen a little window there at the end. The problem is you're worried about making amends with the goose. Okay.

Maybe everyone else has established goose dominance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do they do that? Head bonk. That does seem like maybe the only thing a goose would understand. Yeah, you're not gonna be able to like show your goose your bank account and they're like, whoa, man.

Whoa, shit. Real high earner. Sit them down, show them pictures of your kids, like I'm happy, I'm totally satisfied with my life. And the goose is like, damn, man, real high earner. Sit him down, show him pictures of your kids, like, I'm happy, I'm totally satisfied with my life. And the goose is like, damn, you got it all figured out, Reggie. Damn, man, I wish I was you. Shit, dude.

Maybe you're the lucky goose. You've already been thoroughly embarrassed. Thank you for that laugh, by the way. I didn't deserve that. Lucky goose isn't like a thing. It's not even a thing. It is, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Lucky duck is a thing you fucking lunatics And I'm a silly goose is a thing a golden goose fucking man. Yes. What do you think the other thing? I'm when you know he's wrong We have two more shows this week What do you guys think is the opposite of a silly goose? Cause I think it's a business penguin and I don't know. Don't try to pull this thing out of the fire with a great bon mot like business penguin. You've already lost. The goose knows your number. The goose knows you.

You work for the goose now. You work for the goose now. Here's what you got to do. You got to go back. The one thing you got about geese is they're dumb You could go back big chunky heel. Okay big pompadour. You've gained six inches now Yes, you go back You have a large thick impressive mustache like like you were in in a fog hat or something and you look at the goose and say Hey, my name is Jeff I'm Justin's older brother and I hear that you've been making some trouble

Now that Goose is fucking dumb. Yeah, Goose is like, oh shit Different car, you know like whatever and then you're like if you cause me more problems you get it from that No, keep going. I don't I don't quite get it yet. What do you say to the goose? Well, you're like, oh, I'll grab that I'll grab that gorgeous neck of yours and just start shnickin' it. Is it important to compliment the goose's neck as you? Are you going for an enemies to lovers thing? Listen, I can't give away all of Jeff's story. It's only season one.

Oh, good point. We've got some goose. So you're gonna count on Monte Cristo the goose. We got some things planned out. Now I see. Maybe show up wearing that dress that Bjork wore to the Grammys or whatever, it was the swan, and the goose's like, planned out. Now I see. Maybe show up wearing that dress that Bjork wanted like the Grammys or whatever, it was the swan and the goose like, oh shit.

Oh shit. Look at this sick freak. I'm not crossing them. It might get goose horny though. And no one wants that. Ain't no horny like a goose horny cause a goose horny don't stop. That is true scientifically speaking.

Once a goose gets horny, it's horny for life. I don't think I said anything wrong. I think that was all accurate. It never stung? I don't want anybody to get upset about this, but I do feel very strongly about it and I believe it a lot. I do think you should punch the goose because the one thing that we have as people now listen, thank you for agreeing The one thing that we have is people and it's not a lot but we can

One of these, you know, yeah, and it doesn't have to be for any kind of reason it could just be because Out of our way goose and that goose needs to believe that with his whole soul They have souls but like you get it Could you at least hire a stunt goose to punch in front of the goose so at least then it's complicit in it? Yeah. Are you saying get a goose from the market?

No! A highly trained stunt goose. What if you get the goose as big as me from the shop window? Yeah? Cover it back in feathers? Kill it when it's looking and like, that motherfucker killed the biggest goose I've ever seen in my fucking life. On Christmas fucking day.

On Christmas morning, he kills the biggest goose I've ever seen, rips its feathers out in front of us. Hey, can I know what happened to the head, P.S.? It's gone. Has anyone ever thought about that from the perspective of the shop owner who has a goose hanging in the window and it's Christmas day and he's like if I haven't sold this fucking thing by today I'm gonna have to throw away the biggest goose I've ever butchered. The goose store owner is the one who organized the whole ghost thing just I gotta move this goose. I thought I was so smart I made it it so expensive, but nobody bought it.

Now I just got this big old stinky goose. And my wife told me, don't buy the goose as big as that orphan child. And I said, somebody's going to want this goose, Deborah. She said, Michael, 30 crowns is ridiculous. I said, nobody knows how many crowns is. It's monopoly money, Deborah. What are you eating for lunch? Cause that could be a real goose attraction vector.

Oh, I thought you meant start a conversation with the goose. I thought you were saying- Hey, what are you doing for lunch? I thought you were saying eat the goose for lunch. I guess there are a lot of ways that, I guess there's a lot of ways that that sentence could be read and I apologize for being- All of them work.

No more apologies. Twenty-twenty-five. Hey! I don't like that as the motto. Just for us personally. Okay, cool. Now wait, not even this is not good. Travis?

So, here we are with our friends in Richmond. Hi everybody. Hi. And I thought it would be fun to get the crowd involved and the crowd at home involved with a little play along at home special edition. I have a I have a I have a tummy ache and you're doing this on stage. By the way, this is the first time I heard audible booze in the audience and I want you to know that you're

bright. You have you are brave. You are brave. You guys are going to love this. Okay. Because here's what's up. I have 10 questions. Fuck yeah. And I have 10, $10 bills. Wait, what? And if my brothers get their questions right, I will give them $10 for questions. He dropped $10 backstage and then was so weird about it and now I know why but if the round passes right if They don't get the questions right. I'm gonna ask people in the audience

Oh my god, and if you get probably people in the front, let's be sorry about sorry. I will give them the money. Yeah That's it. That's so gonna go so bad, man. I'm so excited. Okay. You're setting up a situation. There's people in our work slack who are here talking about this in our work slack right now. I agree everyone, it is an incredible idea. Okay. Go ahead, Travis.

The first round's about supernatural. Fuck you. No, no, no, no, fuck you. Also, you've created a situation where if we get questions right, the audience will be upset. Griffin. Yeah, sure.

In season- Dean! In season six, Dean is given the chance to name a monster he first encountered. What does he name them? Oh, he definitely calls him Piss Whistle, the devils. Why are you so angry Griffin? I put my own money on the line to make this fun for you. Okay

Gollum with your fucking impossible riddles. I don't watch this television program and you know that Justin in supernatural Cassiel says to Dean at their are you not gonna ask the audience what for no, okay Sorry, I've misunderstood the fucking rules of this game Because somebody needs to get both questions right to get $20. Jesus Christ, man. Justin, in Supernatural, Cassiel says to Dean at their first meeting,

I am the one who gripped you tight and what? I am the one who gripped you tight and made you whole. Beautiful, but not correct. Does someone here, you know both answers? Okay, what are the answers? Jefferson's Starship. Yeah. Jefferson's. Gryffindor's Grifitite,

raised from perdition. Correct! Gryffindor's Grifitite, wow. Well, you got it, thank you very much. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. This is probably illegal. Okay. We didn't look it up. Congratulations. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- For college I attended the University of Oklahoma. Say again. For college, I attended the University of Oklahoma. No kidding. Yeah.

What is the OU call and response cheer? Boomer Sooner. Correct! Thank you so much. And did you hear the fucking response? Because they were like, that's $10 I'm not going to get. Griffin. This bit, Travis, you are finding new ways to make entertainment. Griffin. This bit, Travis, you are finding new ways to make entertainment.

Griffin, where does the school mascot of the University of Oklahoma get its name? Fuckin' the wagons that they took out on the Oregon Trail to the great- Incorrect, does anyone know? Yes, you know? What is it? The suitors for the land planes.

Perfect, excellent. Wow, you guys made fucking- $10 for you. But the wagons. Enjoy the 10 bucks. What is it? Perfect But I can enjoy I got 10 bucks to Paul, but the wagons are aren't the wagons also called schooners That's what you're thinking just yeah, Griffin in how to train your dragon Oh great hiccups twin schoolmates are Hiccups are namedmates are named Ruffnut and what? Piss Whistle!

Incorrect. Justin, Hiccups dad is known as Blank the Blank. Skimbleshanks the railway cat. So close. You know? Okay, what is it? Correct! Wow, congratulations! So close. You know? Okay, what is it? Correct! Wow, congratulations! What was fucking Rough Nuts twin? Tough Nut.

I gotta see these fucking movies, man! Okay, Griffin. Is this it? No. Fuck! These questions about Wonder Man. Spoken like somebody that doesn't have $10. Griffin, Wonder Man has two brothers Wonder Man. Spoken like somebody that doesn't have ten dollars. Griffin, Wonder Man has two brothers.

Man. Vision is his younger brother. From? Who is his older brother? Ultron. No. But Vision is Ultron's younger brother. No.

I really, here's, can I say something Travis? Since I realized that Justin has $10 and I do not yeah I want to get one of these right pretty bad Hey, can I just say I have not appreciated $10 that I've earned. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've loved $10 this much I've already got some snacks in the lobby of our hotel. I'm already thinking about they had some sour Some snacks in the lobby of our hotel I'm already thinking about. They had some sour gummy life. Oh man, fuck.

And it said cash only. Justin, what alias did Wonder Man use in an alternate future when aiding the Guardians of the Galaxy? Mr. Gold. Incorrect. Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat. Incorrect. Fuck.

Does anyone know? Yes, what are they? Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper was his brother. Do you know? I'll give you ten dollars. Just give him ten fucking dollars! Paul, I think that's in the fucking balcony, my man.

I'm so sorry. The game is fucked up, right? Okay, one more round. Dad just texted me that Dad knew the answer, so I'm gonna give him ten dollars. No, wait! It was Hollywood, that is correct. I'm gonna give Dad ten dollars. So now Dad has ten Hollywood. Dad, it was Hollywood. That is correct. I'm going to give dad $10. So now dad has $10 and Justin has $10.

This game sucks ass. This is such a hyper targeted game that out of the over thousand people in the room, two of the people with $10 are on this stage in his family. Like so far, that's the odds. This is for dad. Okay. Okay. One last round. This is far, that's the odds. This is for dad. Okay. Okay.

One last round. This is about Pirates of the Caribbean. No dad, stop dad. No dad, you have to wait to come out to get it. No dad is just dying to, no dad. Sorry, this is a $10 guys. It's driven him crazy. Dad, I promise I'll bring it to you. Justin.

Yeah. In Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl, what is the name of the naval officer who is Will's rival for the love of Elizabeth? Bill... I'm looking for the last thing. Bill Sykes is incorrect. Griffin?

Wanda Sykes. What is the name of the monkey in Pirates of the Caribbean? I'll get this. I'll get this. It's not Piss Whistle as bad as I want it to say that. Chippy? Bananas! Donkey Kong! Diddy Kong! Wait, hold on. I didn't call anyone from over here. Yes. Correct!

Yay, great job! We called the monkey Jack. It's Norrington and Jack. Correct. Hey, great job. We called the monkey Jack. It's Norrington and Jack. Thank you everybody for playing. Win Travis McElroy's money. That was fun. And you guys are cool reimbursing me out of the problem. This is what I do like is that I didn't win $10,

but I also didn't lose $100. I don't see it as losing, I provided enjoyment. On this stage, I came in second place. I mean, I guess if dad and Justin tied purpose. Third place. My sister's birthday is in about a month and she loves Frasier. What are some fun Frasier themed things

that I can do for her? That's from I'm listening to your suggestions. Are you here? Yes. All right. It's Frasier the original, right? Not Frasier the reboot. There's so much lore in Frasier the reboot.

Well, it's after the zombies attack. Right. It was after he tore down the Pillars of Sin. Do you guys remember at the end of the first run of Frasier where he tears down the Pillars of Sin? I remember that. He causes the fourth impact and it happens right in Seattle. Yeah, and the dog talks.

Yeah, the dog talks. Niles turns into Juice, the dog talks. It, the dog talks. Niles turns into juice. The dog talks. It's a kick-ass episode of television. At first blush, Richmond, Virginia does not seem to be that close to Seattle where Frasier is set. You mean like physically?

You look at a map, right? We're talking about climate-wise, it's going to be tough to evoke that Frazier feeling. As everyone always- Of the Pacific Northwest, the moody sort of- If you were to draw a line, it's pretty far away. Is what I'm saying? This is not close to Seattle at all.

So we've got to recreate the experience here. I looked it up. You all do have a needle, like in Seattle. It's called the, it says the Richmond needle. Yeah. It's on the RVA reddit I don't know it just says Richmond needle I don't know so you guys can look into that if you want but that's the closest you have to a needle and next up would be like who's like your guys big radio psychiatrist because I googled it and I was like,

biggest radio psychiatrists in Richmond. And I don't have a lot of hits on that one. So I don't know if you guys have like- I think it's just syndicated Frasier. Now right there, like it was so low hanging, it was almost touching the ground, was the fruit served, tossed salad and scrambled eggs. And you went with, I'm gonna Google.

Recreate Frasier on the opposite end of the nation. I know you can get tossed salad and scrambled eggs in Richmond, Virginia, right? I'm trying to evoke that Frasier feeling, guys. You could also probably find an old man in the chair pretty easily. Yeah, Travis, that would be really helpful. Thank you for finally being productive.

I think it would be- Instead of just yelling at me. It would be easier to Google Martin Crane Impersonator. Slow down, I can't type that fast. Martin Crane Impersonator brings on chair, Richmond area. Yeah. Cause we want to expand it out.

Yeah. M4M. And that stands for my forester's birthday. Martin for my sister. Martin for my sister. Ha ha ha. Now this is important. Does he need to bring his own dog or not?

Because that's going to cost you extra. Yeah, that's a little extra. Oh, the coffee. Also, according to the RVA Reddit, Roastology and the Ironclad, those are the places you want to go for the best coffee. So you take it to those places, and then in every one, you're like, you smell it, right?

You smell the Frazier Vessons. You smell the Frazier, like that distinct... I mean that Frazier feeling. I can't... I try to say it another way, but it is that Frazier feeling. So you do a whole day. You go to this needle that you guys are obviously crazy about. You go look at what looks like a broadcast tower. It is a broadcast tower. I don't think it's a landmark. I think it's a broadcast tower. So we put a picture of it on the arc.

And now is the old man in the chair with the dog at the tower or the coffee shop? This post is from 10 days ago. I know the needle is still there, okay? Just go look at it yourself. And then you take him to a coffee. Paul, Google Seattle. No, Richmond, yeah.

Google Richmond Space Needle and then go to the coffee. Paul, Google Seattle. No, Richmond, yeah. Google Richmond Space Needle and then go to the RVA Reddit, right? And then there's a picture there and people are gonna see it and be like, oh shit, the needle. I don't know why we're giving such a hard time. So then you take your sister to a coffee shop and you say-

Not just any coffee shop, the Ironclad or Roastology to get that Frasier feeling. And while you're in the coffee shop, you say, we're getting coffee just like they did on Frazier. Happy birthday, you're paying. Because I spent every cent I had hiring this Martin Crain impersonator who brings his own chair. But he got the date wrong and he didn't make it.

Oh yeah, he'll be here next week. Oh, but it's the same day you have that surgery. Oh no. Oh no. Can I ask, do you guys know about Frasier or are you? Yeah. That's about a third. That was about a third.

I will say that that just about tracks. Yeah. That does make sense. I think you could probably just get your sister Frasier on DVD and she'd be happy with that. Cause probably doesn't have a lot of people to talk to about Frasier Frasier maybe that's it Maybe various is his birthday you say you have one hour to tell me everything you can remember about Frasier everything you want to

Tell me about fan theories about Frasier Everything every deleted scene and blooper you've ever seen and I will not make a face. No, I will not be judge rental No you've ever seen and I will not make a face. Nope. I will not be judge rental. Nope. And I'll just be here for it and let them, and I guarantee they're going to get 15 minutes in and run out of steam. Yeah. And then you're set and then you take up the coffee with an old man in a chair. I think a kick-ass party is you sit your sister down

and you just put on that video of Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage on like an hour long loop. That's going to treat you just right. And maybe in reverse reverse so this time because your sister loves Frazier so much. It looks like He's not terribly injured and Paul I'm gonna need you to pull that up now a reverse Kelsey How about another question if you can pull up a reverse Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage in front of the Richmond needle That would be so dope. Yeah, just Photoshop that for me, Paul. Sometimes we give Paul little activities to do.

We don't have a lot of sort of technical requirements for our show. Yeah. So we don't want him to get bored. We'll give him a little time. And he finishes the word search so quickly. So quickly these days. I'm a special agent for the state. And I'm also an avid...

Okay, Jason Bourne. I'm an av agent for the state. And I'm also an avid- Okay, Jason Bourne. I'm an avid musical theater fan. It is not uncommon for me to be belting out some of my favorite numbers in the car as I do a lot of driving. One of my coworkers witnessed one of my showstoppers while I was following them. And they described seeing someone in uniform

screaming in their car. This is quote, quote, screaming in their car as they got on the road as unsettling. I've tried to adjust by singing everything in deadpan, but it just feels like I'm yawning. Brothers, how can I continue to support the arts in my heart while not also freaking out the public? That's from really regret writing in RVA. Are you here? Yeah, yep.

Are you the guy from Store Tours? I just want to say that if you take a thing that looks like screaming and don't alter that part, but rather make your face deadpan. It sounds like you know the part that you gotta fix first. Cause I don't think that looks like yawning. Yeah. If you're trying, yeah.

If you're trying to scream without it look like you're screaming, that's kind of my thing. I'm doing it all the time. So it's, uh, the, the number is very important, right? Because the threatening like of a Les Mis where you have a Javert and a Valjean like squaring off, right? Yeah. I don't think you want it to be a duet because then there's extended periods where you are

very animated and then you still have to buy it in the moment. And that's probably worse to see is someone listening with intent in their car just kind of like well and reacting how dare you know like yeah ad libbing maybe throwing an ad lib it doesn't I don't know exactly what your job entails but I don't know special agent for the state it's all there. But I don't want you doing a two-hander in the front seat of your vehicle. I don't believe. I think you went the wrong direction

because you took it and you said, I made it more deadpan. I think you gotta zhuzh it up. I think you need some like sparkly curtains in there. You need some jazz hands. In the automobile. Yes. Okay, good. And you're gonna need some maybe lighting effects.

Maybe stage makeup. Great, yeah, for sure. Oh, oh, like I think you should leave. You should have a phantom mask decal on the window. Fuck that'd be so cool. So that as you sing you turn into it. Oh, that's good. Shit, man, what if just all over your windows

and windshields you had different masks? So depending on where you moved your face, you could be any kind of drama. But it is a government vehicle, so that might create some complications. And you are driving. Park next to the other special agent cars and be like, which one's yours? The one with all the drama masks on it. I think your coworker just fell for one of the oldest special agent tests in the world, and that's keep your eye on the road. Oh yeah. There's a lot of the danger. I gotta say it's the

danger to like, I Googled it dignitaries and passports as near as I could tell. Sorry, what's that job again? Special agents as near as I can tell from googling mainly cover? Visiting dignitaries and passport crime that's my best guess from a cursory Google I didn't read the website closely, but the two things I didn't admit it being a cursory Google I think I made that pretty clear yeah a passport crime and protecting visiting dignitaries I think well, they're a visiting dignitary in your car while you were belting showtimes? Yeah.

Because that's incredible. What a wonderful immersive experience you must be giving them. Or was there a passport burglar in the car? You never know what kind of crime. That's great because yeah, listen, this passport isn't gonna grant you entry to this country, but it is gonna grant you one ticket to the greatest show on the road.

Get in here, I'm doing all the works from a brand new brain or whatever it's called. Brand new brain is what it's called. Brand new brain. What's it called? Brand new brain, Travis, you got it in one. And we'll be right back. Bye!

["It's Better With You"] Hi, we're the McRoy brothers. You've just got us on tour. That's right. We're recording these on the road. And when we travel, we mail ourselves in giant envelopes like flat Stanley does. That's right. True Travis. We let ourselves get squished with a big bulletin board and we mail ourselves like flat Stanley does it.

This used to be 88% more of a fucking pain in the ass. Yeah, man. Because it used to be a lot more expensive before we found out about the stamps.com. And then they started hooking us up with some rates we couldn't find anywhere else that were up to 88% off the USPS and UPS. Now, getting a bicycle pump and having our daddy pump us back up into normal people, that's still on us. Stamps can't help us with that. I don't want, that's an intimate process. I don't want stamps.com. Stamps will not reinflate you.

There's noises that happen during that that no other human being should be forced to hear. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. Sign up at stamps.com and use code mybrother for a special offer that includes a four week trial, plus free postage and a free digital scale. No longterm commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com code my brother. You know, we talk about stamps.com a lot.

Trust us. If you haven't done it, stop listening to it. Just do it. It'll make your life a lot more convenient. It's going to change everything. It's going to change it all. Just like when the big bulletin board fell on me and it did squish me flat, which is very fun and funny, but what they don't tell you in Flat Stanley is I also did extreme

severe damage to all of my internal organs and bones. And you know, Griffin, when you're living in a new area, it can be hard to find a reinflation doctor that you can trust. Yeah. One that can tuck all those internal organs back in your body after you get squished flat. When you get squished flat, there's nowhere for the organs and bones to go. Yep.

And so I did need a special doctor for that, and I did find them on ZocDoc. Wow. Yeah, you would think Washington, DC, you can't throw a stick without hitting an inflation doctor. Inflation doctor? You must be talking about Joseph Biden. I don't.

Is he a doctor? Good. Christ Almighty and Jesus in heaven. Political stuff, you guys like political stuff. It says actually right here in the ad copy for ZocDoc, it says get extra political on this one. It says get nasty on Joe Biden on this one. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality.

Griff, I don't see that. It's at the bottom. Okay, thanks. Where you can compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. can compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health, dental health, eye care to skin care and much

more. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments. I really have used ZocDoc more times than I can count to find specialists and doctors in Washington, DC. The best doctors? I swore to him. We found the best doctors and it wasn't until ZocDoc that we found Griffin the best doctors. We found the best doctors. Getting the healthy needs. You know, when I need real medical advice on whether or not

people understand a flat Stanley reference in 2025, I look for that doctor on ZocDoc. And then ZocDoc tells me we don't have doctors for that. And I say, what about, I don't know, eye exams? And they're like, yeah, we can do that. Yeah, we actually can do that. Stop putting off those doctors appointments. Go to ZocDoc.com slash my brother to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash my brother, ZocDdoc.com slash my brother.

Now we also have some announcements we want to tell you about. First of all, thank you to everybody who came out for the Raleigh and Charlotte and Richmond shows. It was a wonderful time. Thank you all for being there. We got more coming up. We're coming to the Origins Game Fair in Columbus, Ohio, June 19th through the 22nd. Tickets are on sale now for that and for shows in Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio. All Taz shows this go round are going to be Taz versus you can get all the info and ticket links at bit.ly slash McRoy tours. We got that new merch over the merch store including the ether seed ice designed by Evelyn gorgeous.

Make sure you check those out and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the National Immigration Project. So go check that out, come see us on tour and keep it so chill, like casual. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Keep it breezy. And we'll see you next, we'll catch you on the flip. you on the flip.

What the fuck is happening? We clearly didn't soundcheck this. I'm back on the show. Richard is going to wear himself out. Hi you're welcome. It's me Richard Stank. I'm back on the show. Hi, Richard. It's my new music. I wrote it. Richard, you need to let us know when you're going to be on the show so we can sound check your intro music. Sounded really, really super good to me. Sorry you don't party. You also need to let us know also so we can move the helmet

out of the way so you don't have a strip over it. I thought you paid the guy to do that. Richard, your sound cue blasted a kidney stone from me and then put a new one in it. Yeah, right. It's actually, it's Ambroxan. It's a rock of pure fragrance hidden inside your belly. What? When you pass it, it will be so fresh in your bathroom,

you will thank me later. When I pass a kidney stone, it makes my bathroom smell so good, I'll thank you? When I give you the kidney stone, yeah. Awesome. Will it make a plink noise? Cause that's happened to me before. No, it's a, ah.

I didn't say plink when I passed the kidney stone, Richard. Yeah, that's the sound the kidney stone makes when it hits the bowl. It will say ah? It's effervescent. It's effervescent. Time for a quiz, guys. I want to learn a little bit more about you. All right.

You know, I always ask you your five signature cents for spring or summer or any season. Yeah. And you say, I don't even have aah cents, let alone many cents. I do say that. And then you ask us a lot about our walk with Christ. Well, guess what? That's later. Right now I'm gonna give you a quiz. I found it on WikiHow, your favorite site. So just to clarify, Richard, right now you're combining giving us a test on stage and WikiHow. Yeah. The two segments we've already done.

Just Justin wore me, the energy would be weird with you. All right, here we go. Wait, you talked with Justin on stage? I talk with Justin every day. It's Justin, then Christ, then Justin again. The old Justin-Christ sandwich. I'd like to catch him up. Hey, listen, it's time for a quiz.

You put catch him up on your Christ Justin sandwich? I'm gonna do a quiz for both of you. So I get a scent that encapsulates both of your spirit and soul. A sense of our sense. Okay. Big guy, you're first. How would you?

Which one of us is the big guy? How would you describe, if you have to ask, it's not you. How would you describe? Sorry. I mean, it's true. I'm a burly princess. I mean, if you have to ask. It's not you. How would you describe? Sorry. I mean, this true. I'm a burly princess. I mean, if you have to ask, all right, how would you describe the sense you love best? Hey, you've done a lot of tongue work. Sweet and flirty, warm and spicy, salt free and seductive or fun and happy man.

What was the third one? Salt free and seductive down here. So three and seductive or fun and happy man. Wait, what was the third one? And the fourth one. Just sultry and seductive down here. Sultry and seductive. Or fun and happy. There's 12, answer quick. Sorry, sorry, what was? Fun and happy, sultry and seductive. I don't need to keep saying that one, it's not that.

It's warm and spicy, sweet and flirty, fun and happy. Wait, you're saying definitively it's not sultry. It's definitely not the third one, if you say it, I won't mark it. No. So sweet and flirty, warm and spicy, fun and happy. I'm warm and spicy. Thank you. Easy. Griffin.

Yeah? Pick a location. Why? Okay. The beach at midnight. There's no sound, but there is a crashing wave. Cozy kitchen with cookies. There's no sound but crashing waves no silent I did the accent wrong again, man

English unbelievable a co it's my first language It's just hard a cozy kitchen with cookies bake in the oven and the snow falling outside Or a misty English countryside garden early morning pip pip bright Or a misty English countryside garden early morning, pip-pip, a bright bustling city on a summer day. I mean, cookies in the- In the Vespa, cruising through the city streets, you know. It sounds like you're jazzing on some of these, Rich. I thought you liked jazz, come on, answer.

Cookies in the kitchen, Richard. Gourmand. Look in the mirror, what do you see, big guy? Myself? Someone trying to hide? Oh. Royalty? Well, royalty, someone who could get anyone they want easy.

Or I just see me, no more no less. Oh, royalty. Oh no, first thought, best thought. Alright. Griffin, what do you... Oh, you know my name now, that's cool. You've been Griffin both times, what smell do you gravitate towards, man? A bouquet of fresh flowers... or a snickerdoodle how come I keep

I like how you phrased it like it was two owners competing over which one the dog really loved and you had fresh flowers over here and snickerdoodle over here and which one is Griffin go towards? We got two. Weak old puppy, not the W-E-A-K. Yeah. Look at that weak old puppy. The weak old puppy got Jack disease. It's hysterical. I mean, even in the other context, weak old puppy sounds like leftovers of the worst variety.

Also, a weak old puppy isn't going anywhere. No. And it don't sm- So do you like a smell of it or it's bad? Can I have- Just say, oh, I thought you were talking about my dog thing, but literally one of the outshoes is a weak old puppy. Yeah.

Or the woods after a heavy rain. Aw, I like woods after a heavy rain. Easy, God. Travis, if you were an item at a thrift store, what would you be? On sale. A vintage wedding dress, a string of pearls, a wicker cabinet, or a half empty bottle of perfume? Sorry, those are my only options.

This is the only one that has a puzzle. I would be an old ass wedding dress. Okay, perfect. No, sorry, that was a question! The die is cast. He already clicked. Don't play games with me, baby. Do you believe in, Griffin, do you believe in fate?

It's important to your sin journey. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, no, it's on there. Do you want the choices? Yeah, sure. Totally. I think so. That's what you said, it's in there.

I'm not even going further. Travis, what scent do you normally wear? Masculine, feminine, gender neutral, or I wear whatever. How is there a difference between gender neutral and I wear whatever? Yeah, I don't have a really good answer, but like, and not the funny one at least, you wanna push a button or you want me to?

Gender neutral. Thank you. Griffin, where do you wear perfume? Smell him and tell me if it's here, Travis. I wouldn't recommend it, man. Actually, can I say, I had a bottle of hair oil come open in my luggage last time I traveled with this outfit and so it smells a little bit like hair oil and that ain't half bad, folks.

The other half is bad, but half of it is pretty good. Hey listen, Griffin, where do you wear perfume to sleep just to work our school, on hot dates, or fun nights out? Or I don't usually wear perfume. Do people wear perfume to sleep? Sorry, is there a fifth option on here that says I don't normally wear perfume? If you do the answer you're saying,

why you did this whole quiz about it? I will put on a scent for a date with my wife sometimes. Beautiful, all right, so cool. Wow, we really love it Griffin, very funny. Travis, what's your vibe? What's your vibe? Fresh and clean, glamorous and classic, whimsical and witchy,

or happy-go-lucky and friendly, or fresh and clean? Can I be glamorous and witchy? Absolutely not. I'll pick one for you. Okay. Griffin, what do you value the most? Comfort, passion, adventure, love, or your brothers?

The brothers is not on there. Yeah, it says it right there. I gotta say then brothers. Pick a different one though, just in case. Just in case what? It's not on there, man. Passion, adventure. You should've listened to your heart.

I pushed passion, you said it first. Travis, what would you describe yourself as a leader or by a follower? There's only two choices? Definitely a leader, probably more of a follower. Neither. I go out for my own, and I guess if people follow you, you hide from them.

I'd rather be a follower, but people look to me to lead. How is that not reversed? I'd rather be a leader, but I'm a leader, damn it. Scott, pick one, man. Right? Do you guys think I'm a leader? Rich, definitely a leader.

A true leader has to ask other people if he's a leader. That had such huge Jeb Bush please clap energy that it sent a douche chill up my spine. I was trying to go for a joke about being a leader who needed to be told he was a leader and it seemed desperate so maybe that tells me a lot about myself actually. Does that answer the question? Griffin, last question. If you were a cent. A cent?

These fucking images, Paul, are absolutely out of sight. If you want a cent, how would how would this is just my desktop? Screensavers, man. No give him a hard time if you were a set that the evil planet from fifth element This is just from doing it's a poster from doing listen if you were a scent Griffin How would you want people to feel when they smelled you turned on? smelled you. Turned on? Read more options, please Richard. Fuck. Why do you need more options than turned on? Warm and fuzzy at business, getting fired at a funeral.

What do you mean? Turned on, right? Perfect. You gotta wait for the test to complete the calculations. Hold on. How intense is the processing power of the wiki? It's gotta go, I guess it's doing an ad actually. I think you have to push the arrow. I can't push the arrow, it'll open the ad, I'm sure of it man. Nope. Wait, yeah I'll push the arrow.

Nope. Griffin you're the one that knows about Pokemon, fix it! This is actively stealing all your data. No, man. No, don't go backwards. We've already come so far. No, it's the add again, Griffin. Come on.

There it is. You're amber. Amber is the color of the energy. You're amber. That's Sandalwood. I'm Richard Stink. Thank you so much for your time, I appreciate it. Richard, if you don't mind sticking around, I'd love to do

some live audience questions and we actually do have one for Richard. If we could get Tim H. Hey, you had a question for Richard Stink as fate would have it, he's here. Excellent. Yes, I followed Richard's advice earlier and my wife's biggest fandom is for Antonio Banderas. And so I learned that there was Antonio Banderas fragrance and I bought it for her for Christmas, even though it was for me. So that I would be the gift.

But I'm not sure that it is. You felt great saying that sentence out loud, didn't you? I could tell. Go ahead. So that I may become the vessel of Antonio Banderas and be the gift. But I'm not sure it's strong enough or potent enough. I was wondering if you knew of any other celebrity oriented

fragrances that might be even more effective. What is your name? Tim. Tim? Is Tim? Tim, I'm so sorry. Tim, we've never done this before. No one's asked Richard a question at a live podcast

before. Is Tim? He'll say some stuff that's probably a little rude. OK, listen. Tim? I listened. I've smelled Antonio Banderas his entire line. Every single one of them is strong enough for a Tim. Okay. Trust me, man.

Trust me. Trust me. This is spray number. You got to use the patented Richard Stink 13 spray technique. Three on the wrist, three on the wrist, six on the legs if you insist. Oh. That's only 12 Richard.

Where does the 13th go? This is the puzzle you must solve. By answering my Rituals 3. In the new Dan Brown novel. So Tim, just spray more, does that help a question? Hey Tim, since your wife is in the Antonia Banderas fandom, is there an internal struggle between whether it's the Fantonios or the Fanderises? Is there a ruling on that?

Though I must be here for this. You don't Richard, you can actually go. Thank you so much Richard. Thank you so much Richard Stank. Thank you so much, Richard. Thank you so much, Richard Stink. Thank you so much, Tim. Man, you guys aren't gonna believe this, but I see Richard Stink just off stage getting fully nude. And it's a lot of like a Sailor Moon type transition, which is amazing.

Wow, that's so weird. Hey, Juice, you're back. Hey, welcome. Hey, we're just doing the show, man. What were you doing? Griffin gave me his food poisoning. It's true. Ah, communicable food poisoning is the worst.

Hello. Hey, you guys helped me get rid of 10,000 Orbeez last year for my school dance. Yes. You're going to- Can you get right up on the microphone there for me? Yes, and you're going to have to be more specific. We make a lot of Orbeez disappear on this show. We're three men with a very particular set of skills.

That's great. They had me help with decorating the school dance last year, but the Orbeez just wouldn't go away. Yeah. So we ended up giving them to Pennywise, per your suggestion. Good. Yeah, that'll do it every time.

And Pennywise liked that. He loved it, because then it took away all the water and he could have more guests. So it took, sorry, in this fiction, and this may have been jokes we made a year, I forget jokes I make about two weeks after I make them. I don't remember act one of this show. Yeah, so I don't remember saying,

give Pennywise all the Orbeez so it sucks up the water so he has more room for kids. Yeah. But that doesn't... Wait, is that a thing we talked about? Because that'd be wild if Benny Wise was like, I'd love to have more kids down here. Dang, if I could find their room! So wet in the sewers.

So, Bonnie, is it just checking in to let us know that we kicked ass? Partially, but also they've asked me to decorate for the dance again this year. Okay. So avoid Orbeez, but the theme is capes and crowns, and I just want to know where you guys would go with that. Capes, capes, capes and crowns.

So say if it's cakes and crowns, I know what to do with 10,000 cakes, and that's give them to me. Tell them that you're going to need 500 real diamonds, and then you're going to stage a heist. Yeah, the greatest heist that school has ever seen. You work at like Richie Rich's elementary school, right? Because they can afford 500 diamonds in this account.

No, shoot. You should make it capes or crowns where you get a bunch of crowns and a bunch of superhero capes and they do not connect at all. What is the theme? Is it capes like? Like superhero capes, but do not connect at all. What is the theme? Is it capes like? Like superhero capes, but then like princess crowns.

I was right? Get the fuck out. My thing was a dumb joke. I thought it. Do it. Basically because they said that a lot of the superheroes and princesses have the same like color palette of like blue, red, and yellow.

Oh, Bonnie, that's nothing. Were they trying to come up with a theme the same way we come up with a year theme? It's hard, it's really hard. We respect that for sure. I'm like, I don't really know what they want me to do. Yeah, with capes and crowns, okay. Can the capes come off of the crowns?

So it's one piece. What if they're attached to the crowns like medieval style? If they're attached to the crowns medieval style, that's going to be a tripping hazard for these clumsy elementary school students. Why is your elementary school having a dance? I guess is my first question. They don't know what they're doing.

It's an attendance incentive. So if they've had a certain amount of attendance, they get a ticket to advance. They get to come to school at night? Yeah. Kick- ass incentive. That's so funny because it feels like if it was middle school, they wouldn't have to come

as a reward. You attended so much, you don't have to be here, Travis. Capes and crowns, capes and crowns. Is there a superhero that wears a crown other than Jesus Christ? Does that- Was that you explaining about how funny this is? Or was that you thinking of your favorite superheroes

from the Bible? Because I also don't remember Jesus wearing a cape. I think I'll raise that man from the dead. Let me use my zapping rays. Does that help? No, wait, I'm not done. Okay. Oh wow. Okay, good news.

What do you got so far? Can you give us what you've got so far to kind of like launch? Sounds like you're done. Last week they told me what the theme was and told me what the colors were. What are the colors? Wait, Bonnie, what are the colors?

Red and blue, right? Did I tell you the dance is like May 5th? Oh, so it's quite soon. Yeah. Well, we got a month. What are the colors? The red, blue, and yellow. Red, blue, and yellow. All Oh, so it's quite soon. Yeah. We got a month. What are the colors? The red, blue, and yellow. Red, blue, and yellow.

All right, so Superman. Yeah, thank you, Travis. I think that was probably the initiating kind of- Hey, Griffin, I'm doing my goddamn best. What is that those three colors have to do with crowns though? I guess it's my question. I guess it's like Snow White and like Belle have some blue and red and yellow. I hate to do this, but it kind of seems like

can you make a competitive dance theme where it's capes versus crowns? Yes. Or a Squid Games theme. Everyone gets a cape, but there's one crown. That's cool. Elementary schoolers for some reason can't get enough of Squid Games. Yeah. That's Mr. Beast schoolers for some reason can't get enough of squid games.

Yeah. Well, it's Mr. Beast, isn't it? It's Mr. fucking Beast. They love that guy because they love Mr. and authority figures who can't design games. Can you do a Mr. Beast themed thing where your theme is shitty? Capes and Crowns and Mr. Beast. I would. I would. If it is.

I would, I don't know if the PTO committee would go for it. Tell them, give them my number. They don't have to know. Give them my number. They're the money. I'll call me. I'll straighten them out, no problem. That's one of the main services we offer this podcast.

We explain to out of touch school superintendents who Mr. Beast is. And why it's funny to do it now in 2025 and not any time a decade ago. Does that help, Bonnie? It does help. Thank you so much. Thank you very much.

Thanks for checking in. Hello. Approach, please. Hello. Hi. This is Marissa with the dentist. Hi, Marissa with the dentist. I'm very excited for your question.

Yes. So I'm just. Can you angle the microphone up just a little bit so we can hear you very, thank you so much. Hello. Hello. Yeah, so I chat with my dentist a lot and our conversation had kind of come to a lull and we're comfortable, so I said,

have you ever been bit before by like a client? And he said, no. Wait, did you say in the question, by a client or just in general? Yeah, I'm glad, I'm glad. If you said like. This is actually don't answer with a joke, I need you to tell us the 100% truth

to the nearest of your recollection. I said, have you been bit by an adult before? Hey, Marissa. Hey, that's actually the worst. The worst. OK, go home. Is your question, how do I find a new dentist? Because my last dentist was like, you have to go. You have to go. How do I find a new dentist because my last You have to go

Town to live in that's actually on a list I have printed up of things you have to go if you say to the dentist, but I like him He cleans my teeth good. Have you ever been bitten by an adult? Yes, and then he's um, he says no I haven't and gets back to put his hands in my mouth, right? And um, he says put pressure So I kind of bite down a little I thought maybe he was putting in the x in my mouth. And he says, put pressure. So I kind of bite down a little. I thought maybe he was putting in the x-ray thing. And then he says again, no, put pressure.

So I thought, oh, OK. And I like, and he goes, ow. And I realized that that was his thumb and not plastic. And he was telling me that he was going to be putting pressure on my tooth. Oh, well, he said it in a pretty crazy way. I think we can all agree. Hey, Marissa, I was ready to judge the shit out of you, let's be honest.

But after you asked, have you ever been bit by an adult before? And then your dentist stuck their thumb in your mouth? There was no delay. I asked him that. He said, no, I bit him. Every mistake, every mistake after the first mistake you made of asking the question is on your dead desk. But the scale of the initial mistake cannot be overstated. Yeah.

Because it adds a sort of premeditated element to the act. It does, because there is an implied, because you're gonna. Not a premeditated, so much as a trailer for the crime. Yeah. It was like, you know how when they have a trailer before the trailer and you're like, fuck, we're doomed, huh? Anyway, it's like a short trailer before the trailer

if you don't have the attention span to watch a two minute fucking trailer. Yeah, go off-k. Don't worry, Batman's in it. I know Batman's on the first five seconds, he's in it later. So Marissa, what's your question? Yeah, what's the question?

Not a new dentist, though. I know, because I like him. We get along. But there was no goodbye after that. It was like, I got to go see another patient. He laughed. He said he believed me when I said, please, please, I promise I didn't ask you if anyone has

bit you to then bite you. Were you in biting range when he was like, I believe you? I was. Were you chomping like the big ball on a chain in Mario? No. But I guess I want to know how to start our next appointment to get him to believe me. Have you ever been bitten twice by an adult? Have you ever been bitten by an adult?

Don't answer. I know. I was going to say he won't remember, but he'll definitely remember. Definitely, definitely. Definitely remember probably thinking about it now. Does he like podcasts? He likes movies. Oh, so I'd say listen to this.

No, that I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, we only did the one movie and I don't know that it's germane to the bit. But hey, dentists, if you're listening, get out. Get out of there. You're not safe.

She knew the whole time, I could see it on her face. There's lots of great dentists in the area, I assume. If everybody could just shout out your dentist's name real quick. Thank you so much. Very helpful. I heard Jesus in there. Impossible. Does that help?

Very much so. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much, Marissa, for your courage. Hello. Hi. How's it going? Good. How are you?

Good. Good. You having a good day? I'm having a splendid day. Wonderful. Who are you? My name Good, you having a good day? I'm having a splendid day. Excellent. Wonderful. Who are you? My name's Jessie. Hi, Jessie. She her.

Hi, Jessie. So I am ethically non-monogamous. Okay. And so I happen to have two boyfriends who live both within an hour of me, but in different directions. Okay. And they have the same- Okay, wait, so is it two hours from each other?

Or are we in a- I mean, estimated. If math class had been about figuring out problems like that, I probably would have paid attention a little bit better. Like, gotta drive to your first boyfriend's house in this direction, X number of miles. Okay, so ahead, your question though,

what is the question? Yeah, so they both have the same birthday. Is that how you picked them? Unfortunately, no, that would make my life a lot harder. So my question is, how do I celebrate both of my boyfriends who both have birthdays on the same day? Well, I'll tell you, this is great because two of us have the same birthday.

So let's ask the odd one out, Griffin, how do you make Justin and I feel individually special on our shared birthday? This is a very, very, very, very, very similar question. Because we're kind of like, your context will be invaluable because the situation is basically indistinguishable. Yeah.

I'm ethically brothers with you guys. Ethically bronogamous. Yeah. I mean, I call you guys separately. I don't get you on one zoom, which I think is pretty chill. Which is pretty chill of me. We should start comparing notes to see if he's got like

a new bit that he's using. But like, And how long did he talk to you? I got him for 33 seconds. I only got it, just him. You brought his whole family, huh? Wow. Wow. Forgive my ignorance.

He did it right at bedtime. So you could tell he couldn't remember until the end. Forgive my ignorance. He did it right at bedtime, so you could tell he couldn't remember until the end. Forgive my ignorance on the topic. Do your boyfriends know each other? Is it a, I don't know, a triangular situation? I know we're stuck on geometry up here, but is it a, you couldn't throw, could you throw a group bash at BW3s,

or is it not that kind of situation? I think what Griffin is saying is do your boyfriends get along better with each other than they do with you? That's not what I'm saying. Maybe they would have their own party. Even a little bit at all. That's not what I'm saying. Even a little bit at all.

That would make, again, that would make my life easier if they did, but they know of each other. They don't, they haven't met. They don't hang. Nor do they know that the other, they don't, they haven't met, nor do they know that the other one has the same person. Because I was gonna say, you know, go to Chuck E. Cheese and, you know, fucking give him both 20 tokens and just like kick it.

That's a good one. Do you have any friends that have twin kids that you could be like, what do you do? Unfortunately not. My wife and youngest son's birthdays is one day apart, which is even less relevant than Justin and Travis's thing. So I was trying to set it up right now. That's easy though, because of the pretty sizable age discrepancy

between the two of them. They're not really interested in the same birthday stuff. You don't know if you asked Rachel if she likes like putt-putt and like arcades and shit. What was the second thing you said? Putt-putt and arcades and shit. I mean, you're describing a Griffin birthday pretty good, but not a Rachel birthday.

Do you have maybe one of your boyfriends likes the daytime more and one likes the nighttime? Where you're gonna be like, oh, it's noon. I'm gonna spend 6 a.m. to noon and noon to 6 p.m. I could probably do that. They fall on Friday the 13th. So I feel like I could do a day. But not every year.

Hey, Jessie, I don't wanna tell you how calendars work. Not every year. This year. This year though. Ooh, that's gonna be a really... So that's the witching hour, right? Cause it's 11 to midnight, midnight to one. You do good 11 to midnight, bad midnight to one.

So which of your boyfriends is evil? Yeah, which is the most evil one? Griffin uses that for me and Travis too. He has to figure that out every year. And you guys know. You all know the breakdown. Does that help, Jessie? It does.

When is the birthday? Is the birthday soon? It's in June. Oh, I have to tell. So you got time. Yeah, yeah. And which of your boyfriends do you like better? No, uh-uh.

That's probably hot. They're never gonna listen, Jessie. Could you take a break just to come up with a few? Is one of them here? Okay, oh no, no, no. Are those over here? just to come over here? Is one of them here? Okay, oh no, no, no, nevermind. Nevermind, nevermind. Just one.

Just one's your point. Well, I know which one's better. So say yeah, both of them! Both of them! Both of them, absolutely! I know which one's better, this is easy. The other one's not gonna hear it, Jesse, it's easy. To be fair.

I'm assuming they're a listener who just couldn't make it, Griffin. Is Jesse's other boyfriend like down here somewhere like, oh man, I didn't know you liked this podcast. And also I have other questions. That is the fifth drink you've spilled tonight, Justin. What do you want? What do you want?

Paul's just coming out. This is a full bath towel. Let's hear it for Jesse. Jesse, thank you so much. Thank you. Yes, hello. Hello. Hi.

Hi. I'm Eva, and I sent in the question about my band. Yes, please. Yeah, so I have a band here locally, and we have a show. Hi. Do you want to say the name of it? Sure, yeah. It's called The Kiles.

We've only been around for like a year, so you might not have heard of us. What's it called? The Kiles. The Kiles. The Kiles. A very good name. We like a year, so you might not have heard of us. What's it called? The Kiles. The Kiles. The Kiles. That's a very good name. We do have a band member named Kyle.

Perfect. That kicks ass. He did not like that name, but it's fine. Can you change it to Kyle and the Kiles? Wait, no, stop. Because that's not what the question was, but now I'm in it. You have one band member named Kyle. I do, yes.

And he did not like the name The Kiles. No, he did not. He didn't. That's a shame, because it's a fucking good name for a band. I know. That's why we kind of overruled that situation. So how did it come about? No. Independent of that.

So basically we had our first show at my house. We did a house show and I was like... Was the booking hard, Travis? It was really... It was so difficult. No, so we... I created a little box. We were having a really hard time coming up with a name. Yeah. So I made a little box out of paper and just had everybody that came to the house show

put suggestions in there. And some of Kyle's friends decided to write Kyle, Kyle in the Kyles, on a bunch of sheets of paper and just shove it all in the box. Kyle O'Kiley. Yeah. And it was just, we struggled for a while.

And after a while, we were like, actually, that is a really good band name. Sure. So you know what? We're just going to take their suggestions. That could pass. I love. So how can we help? We struggled for a while and after a while we were like, actually that's a really good band name. So you know what, we're just gonna take their suggestions. So that's how the band name came around. So how can we help? But we have a show on 420, which is also Easter this year.

What? Yes it is. Easter, or as you put it in your email, Jesus is big day, which is awesome. Yeah, thanks for reminding us the Easter thing. I did, yeah. I love Eva, that in your mind, Easter is Jesus' big day.

That dude was so fucking psyched. I'm sorry. This is it, he said. Is it Easter already? Woo hoo! Listen, listen, listen, listen. If I had done something even half that cool, I'd be celebrating every year.

You better believe it. I remember every year. This reminds me of another similar Easter where I died for you. But every year the people in Pucks and Tonny get together around Jesus' grave to wait for him to come back and tell him if there's six more years of salvation.

You have a show on Jesus' big day, which is sports morning. I do, yes. And the place where we're doing the show, the Camel, has asked us to send them a promotional video or music video or something so that they can promote the show. And we're very new, so we don't have a lot of promotional content. So we were in our group chat trying to figure out what to do. And I was wondering if you guys had any advice on what we should do as a promotional video for the show. OK, so right off the bat, did they

say it needs to be you playing music? Because that's important to all my ideas. They suggested that, but they didn't say that it was required. OK, so let me give you this starter phrase that I use in a lot of videos that I do. Oh, hello, didn't see you come in there. And then you can, and have it be Kyle going like, these are the Kyles.

How is Kyle as a sort of like face? It's good, good, yeah. I think we're all pretty. We're the Kyles and I'm Kyle, no relation is a powerful start. I'm Kyle and I don't like that the band is called the Kyle's. Okay, wait. She's coming aggressive, okay.

Okay, this is pretty good. Do you have your phone on you? No. Oh, okay. I left it on my seat, I'm sorry. Well, fuck. Oh, dang it. Fuck, shit. Do you have anyone here who can film?

My sister, yes. Okay, sister, would you mind starting a video, okay? This is gonna be really good, trust me. She's been filming this whole time, I can tell. All right, you've been filming the whole time. This is perfect, okay, so the video will start here. So what I need you to do is be like, hey brothers. This is perfect, okay? So the video will start here. So what I need you to do is be like,

hey brothers, I'm trying to find a new local band to get into. And then we're going to be like, I don't know, we're not from the area. What do you all think? And then everybody says, the Kyles. And then it'll be like- Include all of this by the way.

Yeah, no, no, no, you gotta cut this. Oh shit, okay, sorry, I misread it. Okay? And they won't know who we are obviously. And then when the people at the venue are like, So maybe we should start with, I'm looking for a podcast to get into. And then everybody else, my brother, my brother and me.

Okay. So, so we're gonna explain who we are first and why it matters. What name do you want to use for the video? Cause you can't try Steva. Oh, the band name? You can't say Eva. Cause you have a new name. You can't say Eva, so say Steva.

Oh, I can't say Eva, so I'll say Steva. Yeah. It doesn't have to be, Steva's not the- I could say Steve. Oh, I can't say Eva. So I'll say Steve. Yeah, it doesn't have to be Steve is not. I could say Steve instead. That's great. Yeah. So everyone shut up. Say Steve. Oh, because that has star power to don't say Steve. Oh, just so the video will start here.

Welcome back to my brother, my brother and me America's favorite podcast. We're famous and you should care about what we say. We are in more influential than Joe Rogan we got a big stop sorry stop the video can't be in it that can't be in it I miss right I miss right the body in it that's not even a sister started over and I panic I panic hey start it started again started again welcome back to the Joe Rogan podcast. Stop. Eva, stop. Sorry.

I was just trying to get to Travis' good idea faster. Okay. Welcome back to my brother, my brother and me. This week we're joined by, what was your name again? Hey, my name is Steve. Hey Steve, how can we help? Guys, brothers, I have been looking for a new local band to get into. Do you have any suggestions?

Hey everybody, what's your favorite local band? The Hiveholes! Excellent. Thank you. There you go, yeah. Right there, perfect. What's your second favorite local band? No, no, no, don't. That doesn't matter. How did you find that?

That'll mess up the whole video. It's fucking Paul. Paul can find anything. Does that help? Paul, yes. Does that help? All right, yeah! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can't believe we actually helped!

That felt... Is this what it feels like? I think so. I have two children and that's the greatest thing I've ever done. I think that's it. If we can... Can we all turn the lights off? Would that be a possibility?

Take them away, Paul. Make them go away? Thank you so much, Richmond. You are always such a hoot. You all have been absolutely amazing. What a treat this has been. I want to hear it. What a pleasure. Let's get a big shout out for this has been. I want to hear it. What a pleasure.

Let's get a big shout out for this beautiful theater. Carpenter is gorgeous. Look at the clouds. The clouds are amazing. They have been through our clouds, you guys. It feels like we're performing outside. And not only is it a beautiful old theater, we can also call it the Dominion Energy Center,

which feels like a thing you build in like Warcraft 2099 or something. He's ruled over the energy dominion for many years now. I want to say thank you to Anna Road, who designed our kick-ass poster. There may still be some out there. Griffin, this is PQ. I adore it so much.

I know. I love it. I signed some of them, and it's great, because it looks like I'm magically casting my signature out into the galaxy. It also looks like you've just realized you're in the vacuum of space and about to explode. Yes. We also have some honorary Pulse Abort Memorial Can Food Drive Challenge coins. All proceeds from that go to Feed More.

Thank you all so much. Thanks to Montane for these for a theme song. My Life is Better with You, a kickass track. Thanks to our dad. Thanks to Paul. Thank you to Amanda. Thank you to our editor, Rachel. Thank you to McKay, our merch. Who did this design right there?

Did this kickass 20th under drive design. Thanks McKay. And thank you all, Richmond. Genuinely, you all are amazing. And we're so happy to be back here. And we'll be back again. And hey, Griffin did not have to run off stage to use the bathroom once during the show.

Big round of applause. That's a champion right there. Hey, as long as we're cheering, I didn't either. I didn't run off stage to go to the bathroom. Hey Griffin, as a special treat, you wanna read the last? The fear that someone in the audience is gonna be faster than this year.

This year, I will be faster than my fear of getting lost and freezing on Mount Everest because it's really far away from me and I don't even want to go there anyway. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. Spit my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, My life is better with you