My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 759: Face 2 Face: Mommy’s Special Sweets For Good Business Boys

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

Live from Raleigh, NC, we've got all sorts of stories you have never heard before, and maybe some that are a little bit more than what you wanted. Come hear about stealing trash without being judged, overly long nachos, awkward library encounters, and, of course, nuts both big and small.Suggested talking points: I Busted in Raleigh and All I Got was this Justin McElroy, A Treatise on Corndogs, Manic Pixie Bullshit, Trash Goblin, Nacho Engineers, Two Kids and a Normal Relationship with BatmanUkulele Nut: https://bit.ly/ukulelenutNational Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/

March, no, February, February 1980. I'm a young broadcaster living in Florida. I move with my young bride back to West Virginia to take up a news director's job at WKEE Radio. We are owned by Capital Broadcasting, which has its headquarters in Raleigh, North Carolina. So I come here in February of 1980 for training. I bring my young bride because I don't want to go anywhere without her. And we begin the whole process.

I am here one day and the third worst snowstorm in the history of Raleigh and I gotta tell you something 1980 you guys were not prepared for a snowstorm so we were snowed in we had to stay an extra three days in Raleigh and couldn't go anywhere because the streets weren't clear. So we spent a nice romantic time, just me and my wonderful wife Leslie, watching TV, getting takeout food while the snow blew around. nine months later, to the day Justin Tyler McElroy was born. And they have never heard this story before. Is it true? Well, all I can say is the McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed.

Old Travis insists he's a sexpert, but there's a degree on his wall. I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool babies? One, two, three, four It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two.

By way, ah, it's better with two. Hello, welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middle brother, Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy. And I'm your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, Media Luminary, Bill Ford Tough Griffin McElroy. And I just heard a story about a time my dad nutted. Not a lot of hype men in the biz have the guts

to come to a town and razz it for not being ready for the natural disaster 45 years ago, and then talk about some nut related activity he's experiencing your city. Well hey okay so so it's also weird to kind of give you guys credit for that. Yeah no Raleigh I adore this city with my whole heart I think my dad probably could have finished no matter which city he got snowed in. I don't think there was anything about your city

that helped. I would do anything to quit this podcast right now. Like literally, anything. You all have a lot going for you. I don't know that any of it was germane to the activity that transpired. Because I don't know if cities have slogans, but Virginia's got Virginia's for lovers.

What about, what about, Raleigh is for nothing. I, I, I. It's a picture of me, right? Cause it's about my conception. Yeah. You know that you're hearing it in the abstract, but I'm a of me, right? Cause it's about my conception. You know that you're hearing it in the abstract, but I'm a human being, right? And that's the story of my conception being told to you, the people that paid to see me do jokes, but it's like,

I didn't know that was going to be part of it. And it is. This shirt would read, I busted in Raleigh and all I got was this Justin McElroy. No, I think the shirt would probably say if you're busting for a Justin, get down the route, run, don't walk to Raleigh or something like that. Do you guys think that's why I've been so like on point today? Like I've been so cool all day?

Yes, that is true. I want to tell my Justin bobbing out in Raleigh story. So wait, tell the dad half first. OK, so as I so dad busted one time 40 years ago, then 45 years later, as I'm getting on the elevator from our hotel floor, Dan is getting back off the elevator, having come back upstairs.

He says, I forgot my phone. I'll be there in a minute. I said, okay. And it is important to note so that you don't judge me harder than you need to. Yeah, you do not come out of this story looking great, man. Listen, I am what I am. I'm sitting there holding this beautiful outfit

and a bag full of stuff and a backpack on, even in the air conditioning of the hotel, I am wilting. So I'm like, okay, cool. I get down to the lobby, I think, did he mean down in the lobby or did he mean be at the theater? It's a five minute walk away. And I thought, well, I don't want to be late.

So I started walking. Shut up. So then- No, don't shut want to be late, so I started walking. Shut up. So then- No, don't shut up. That was right. That was fair. You bought your seat, you make whatever noises you want in it.

So then two minutes later, I hear a noise behind me. I turn and see our dad who has a suitcase, and the suitcase has fallen down. He's about maybe 50 yards behind me. I went, oh good, dad made it. It's hot fuck that and I kept walking it's by the way, it's ten minutes and Travis then proceeds to walk ten minutes with like dad a block behind him and with dad like ret like

regularly like Hey, wait up or like no he didn't call out. Trav? He did not call out. Did you know he was there the whole time though? Yeah. Okay. He said he was too winded to call out. I was pretending like I was being tailed

by the least intimidating, like government official, I loved it. But it also was, I was listening to music. I didn't want to take my AirPods out and have to talk to my dad. So. Shit man. Heavy, heavy.

Listen, sometimes I fully embrace. Sometimes I fully embrace all this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, I know it's not right. Gotta love me. And it's so cool for the rest of us when you do that too is the best part. Well, that's how you know it's optional

when I'm kind and loving. Yeah. So then I get to the theater and I'm maybe 10 feet away from the stage door when a shape just zooms past me, so cool, so graceful, does a full like slime stomp on his line scooter and says, hey, what's up, Trav? And it's my older brother, the leader of the pack. I zipped right past dad's old ass, right past Travis, right to the stage door. I was the first here, except for Griffin.

And then he parked, and I said, God, that was so cool. And he said, now I have to walk it back out to the sidewalk. Yeah, they don't want you to leave it at the stage door. So it's like, out, PS, if you see a Lime scooter near the stage door, please don't take it. That is going to be my egress home. Yeah. And if you want to leave some other scooters there,

that's great just to give me options because it was a bit of a bumpy ride. But thanks, just don't take my scooter. Thanks, it's kind of mine, not a big deal. You're really deeply undressing, right? This moment. Okay. Is that?

Okay. May I? Yeah, please go on. Thank you. This is an advice show. We take your questions and we turn them alchemy-like into wisdom. We're so happy to be here

with you Raleigh. Back in Raleigh. What's the first question Trav for some reason is just not showing up in my- The way I eat corn dogs is unusual. How so Griff? Speak on that. Well I- hold on. I don't like the hint of wood flavor the stick leaves behind so I always take the stick out and eat that side of the corn dog first, leaving the best for last, the top of the corn dog. If I do this in a crowd or around friends, would someone call me out over this? How can I explain myself besides the stick parts not as good so I eat them backwards? That's from customary corndog custom in Tennessee. Are you here? All right.

So this is how I do it. No, I'm saying that's. I think that's great. That's how I do it. I don't like the wood flavor in the corndog, so I take the stick all the way out and I eat the ass. Can I just if you don't like the wood flavor of the stick and the corndog, may I suggest you turn your attention

to a stickless hot dog option? There's so many vehicles there for you. I'll split the uprights here because Griffin, a hot dog is different from a corndog, and you know that. You're right. I just wanted to seem funny and cool in front of all these guys.

I know. And Justin, if you remove the serving conveyance from the corndog, you've removed all the convenience from the experience. Okay, see, this is where I disagree because you're gonna need to tell me how a corndog is not just an edible bun. Because it's-

If I held a hotdog by the bun, everyone would think that's great and love me, okay. But if it's encasing it with corn, that's a crime, seems suspect to me. Because in theory, it's the thing that makes the corn dog special. Are you eating or are you doing a theory about corn dogs? Are you eating them or are you writing a triatees

on their philosophical impact? Or are you taking the stick out the ass because it tastes like wood, you know? Yeah. Okay, this is a good point. It's the year 2025. We've had so many culinary innovations. How have we not made the wood a seasoned,

like this is gonna add a smoky flavor? Edible. Yes, something that's going to bring a little something to the experience. You may be thinking, what are you going to put in there? Chemicals? Microplastics? It's a fucking corndog.

You're not that cool. You're not proud. You'll put anything in there. I love the, if I see someone, if I see- Like a rosemary scented stick or something. I'm saying add some Travis you can pitch your your artisanal corndog brand to the Sharks later If I see some that stays in this room if I see any of you trying to steal that heading I'll know we've got to have a backup plan guys, please

If I see someone eating a corndog something has gone wrong. First, and first and foremost, I can't think of a scenario where I'm gonna just see someone eating a corn dog. Second of all, if I see someone- Wait, what? What? Where am I? You said it and I'll stand behind you.

Where- We routinely go to conventions. I'm not seeing a lot of corn dog action at conventions, Travis. I think, Griffin- I don't see the cast of fucking Aero in the green room like, yummy, yummy. Man, what an elitist point of view, Griffin,

that now your only experience of a con is the cast of Aero. When you're on our side looking out, you fuck with the cast of Aero and they don't eat corndogs. If I see you eating a cor corn dog, that's a problem. If I see you rip the stick out of the corn dog, I don't care which side of the corn dog you eat next. What you just did is barbaric and insane. Okay, here's...

Okay, listen. Now here's the thing about this for a second. If you see a corn dog, right? And someone has a corn dog on a stick. A picture of a corn dog, okay. Where amog, right, and someone has a corndog on a stick. Let me picture it. A picture of a corndog, okay. Where am I that I'm seeing someone with a corndog? I'm at the State Fair.

Yeah, you're at the State Fair. You're at the Pumpkin Festival, okay? You're at the West Virginia Pumpkin Festival. You're eating some pumpkin dumplings. I'm like, let's go get a corndog. Do I have like a pumpkin butter that I'm dipping the corndog into because that would be amazing? No, it's not pumpkin butter or corndog. It's just like separate.

Okay, fuck. Let me reset. Okay. Okay. Okay, so's not puffed-up butter corn dog. It's just like separate. Okay, fuck, let me reset. Okay. Okay. Okay, so you take the stick out the ass. Right. If you see someone do that. The corn dogs are my own.

Yeah. So if you see someone take the stick out of the corn dog and then eat the head of the corn dog, or the tip, as you might say. Calm down. Grow up. If you see someone bite the tip, as you might say. If you... Calm down. Whoa, whoa. If you see someone take, bite the tip, you're, the thing you think is, you could have done that with the stick in it.

It's so far from the wood flavor. Yeah, exactly. So, but if someone, I'm saying, if you see someone remove a stick, in your head you should think, he better be about to eat the ass, because otherwise I don't know why he did it. And then if they take the stick out and eat the ass, it's like, yeah, you want to start with the ass, but you can't because of the stick. It makes sense to me.

There is also the element, Justin, that if I see someone remove the stick and then start at the tip, my thought process is, oh, they must like me have no concept of where the stick begins within the corndog and they're worried. I'm saying, I'm saying if you remove the stick from the corndog and then bite the tip, you're just like angling for quirk. It's manic pixie bullshit, man. Okay, well. Just eat it.

You know what I mean? You don't have to have a thing. You don't need a gimmick. I will also. Just eat it from the ass cause it's better that way. Yeah. Eat it from the ass because it's better that way. Yeah. Eat it from the ass because it's better that way. I also, just to put a bow on it,

can't imagine you're in a corndog eating situation in which someone around you is gonna clock your etiquette and think why that's not appropriate for this venue. I think you guys, your guys' strident opinions that rise instantly to the surface about corndog consumption beg to say otherwise. I think you guys would have lots of judgment for corndog consumption.

No, no, no, I'm saying that rarely is a corndog what someone's ordering at like Tavern on the Green, which I imagine is a fancy restaurant. And then someone would eat it, pull out the stick and they'd be like, how goosh. Yeah, that's true. How about another question? I'd love that.

Please. I went to a coffee shop to work on a project for work. Okay. I ordered a latte and almond croissant and then got sucked into my spreadsheets, Google Docs, all been there. Et cetera. This led me to not eat my croissant for a few hours.

The next time I went into the coffee shop, the barista asked if I bribe myself with a sweet treat to get my work done. Because they noticed how long it took me to eat the croissant last time I panicked and said yes even though that's not true. She said it she did the same thing and we became friendly. Now whenever I see her I feel like I have to order a pastry and wait until I'm nearly ready To leave to eat it How do I escape this polite pastry problem and this is from really ravenous and Raleigh are you here Hello

It's quite a situation quite a pickle you got yourself into huh? This is what happens when you lie gang. You've also created like an accidental accountability partner. In my head at some point I realized I started assembling a list of things it's okay to notice about other people, specifically myself. And I've noticed as I age

that list becomes vanishingly small. Yeah, sure. I want people to notice almost none of my actions. If someone walks up to me and says, I noticed you eating a corn dog, pulled the stick out and then ate the ass first, I would say that's like two, too many things to notice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, way too close attention.

But I suppose if it is at a business where you work and kinda can't leave, you're looking for any kind of plot lines You could follow it just to help get through the day. I think that this could be an amazing business model though Because a lot of people go to the coffee shops to get their work done So what if it was a coffee shop that explicitly said like oh, do you like this brownie? Excellent? Yeah, that'll be like 350 or whatever and we we will deliver this brownie to us, to you, when you show us that your work is complete.

So it's mommy's special sweets for the- Mommy's special sweets? Hey listen man, with ADHD, I would love having an adult tell me like, yeah, you can have this when your work is done, that's all I need. Yeah, when I do that, he gets all mad at me. It's like, yeah, but that's all for show. I love it. I actually... I have an 1115 face-to-face meeting down at Mommy's Special Sweets for Good Business Boys.

Yes, it is the cafe where they don't give you the sweets until you've been a good boy and done all of your business. And like, maybe if they clock you like not scrolling on your phone for a while they come by and say like a hey I noticed you're doing a great job doing so well Out of you. I want to say that I think this person who works at a sweet treat store It was motivating themselves by denying themselves sweet treats should talk to somebody that cares about them Because I think they need to find another way of doing it okay that's true they have to make the sweet treats and until they finish the sweet treats they

cannot eat a sweet treat it's like and that makes it really hard like when I worked at blockbuster now it's not candy by the end of two hours I think if I don't eat a banana run soon I I'm gonna go fucking insane. Right. These things smell amazing. Banana runts smell amazing? They are a thing, which will always be the thing that when something smells like them, I will say, this smells like banana runs. Everything that smells like that isn't that smell, it smells like banana runs.

That's how incredible they are. Can you go and say, one, you lied. There's no situation out of this where you're not like, I lied, I got nervous, I don't know you, I had to talk to you so I lied. Thanks, man, this thing's really fucking shedding. Can you believe the quality of this fucking Lightning McQueen onesie that I found online isn't- For big boys.

You're gonna have to go, you say you lied. And you say, it's not because I have to finish my work, I just like it when the croissant gets really old. I like an aged croissant. Hard, puck-like, stale. I can't have it be too good too fast. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. I haven't finished my business yet

Do you guys ever have a moment where you go? It's like a coffee job or a bistro and you order like a sandwich or something and they ask if you want it heated up Yeah, and you don't and you feel like you've disappointed them Like I was supposed to get it heated up. It was a trick question. The answer is yes, of course. That's how the chef recommends it or whatever. Some sort of guidance would be so amazing. Do you know where they fucking hate that is Subway?

If you're like, I want it toasted, but please do that before you put the meat on. Man, they hate that. And I feel like that should be the baseline, right? No one wants hot meat, right? Who want a hot bread and cold meat, right? Hot bread, cold meat? Hot bread, cold meat treat you right.

Cool nights. Cool nights, hot love. Temperate religion. I'm gonna be thinking about that for the rest of the show. Like we're gonna talk about it. I'm saying they're like, for the rest of the show. Like we're gonna talk about it. I'm saying they're like, do you want it toasted? Yes. You have to then specify, not at the end,

I want it to happen now. Don't say another word about sandwiches until the bread's in the toaster and then we can talk. That is a human being that from the moment they start the process to the moment they put it in the toaster, if that's what you want, has trained themselves to zone out Completely and you interrupted. Yeah that with a new step

They're like I have to think during this process Fuck you though. The one that was most confusing is when after the toasting they were like do you want cheese? And I'm like, um, I already cooked it. I'm gonna start putting raw ingredients on my sandwich It is way too late for raw cheese I want my cheese melted my bread hot my meat cold my lettuce Absent my lettuce next door. I can't my lettuce in absentia my spinach four leaves if you please I Can't eat a sandwich that isn't confusing to the palate Can you just say I'd like the chocolate croissant you go and sit down and 30 seconds later you go. Yes

I got the big the big sale breakthrough alert Can you come in like you've been on an all-night working bender like I haven't even slept I'm almost done with the big project. You have to trust me. I've been a good boy already. And then you say like, I think that'd be it. And they're like, do you want a sweet treat?

And you're like, wait, say that again? Sweet treat? Of course, I cracked it. Eureka! We both deserve one. How about another question, maybe? I've recently dug a vegetable garden in my backyard and one of my neighbors had advised me to rather than buy mulch, take bags of yard waste from the side of the road and use

that instead. My question is, how do I do that without looking like some kind of trash stealing goblin? And what if I'm seen doing it? As from not a trash goblin. Are you here? Hello. Hello. Yes, I am here. I'm out of my bed.

Crunch munch, crunch munch. Is it possible your neighbor hates the smell of mulch because it smells terrible? And they're like, oh, you know what I've heard. You know what I saw on TikTok. They don't really tell, they don't warn you about this when you're a parent, but they will remulch your school, your kids' school's playground several times a year and you will have to answer the question several times a year of why does it stink like shit everywhere? And it's like, well they

put that down to keep you safe I guess guess why does it have to smell like shit? I don't know my son I Got I was in a similar situation because there's these guys They're digging a gas pipeline near my house And they got they put down grass seed and then they put hay on top of it right to protect it And I need to put some grass seed up in a small area of my home But I don't have any hay So as I was driving past the guys I started thinking like they were done

Yeah, and I saw two bales and I thought I'm just gonna ask these guys for some of the hay There's no way on earth. You actually did that though, right? Yeah, you didn't ask someone give me the hey You didn't start a conversation with a stranger to say, let me get that plant for free. That's not you. There's no way. I thought it would be maybe saving them a hassle. Okay. Like if maybe like, hay disposal is one of the more annoying

parts of the job. Okay. Maybe I could be of assistance there. And maybe they just want to do a solid turn for a friend. Yeah. And just give me the hay. Cause I don't know where to get hay is the other thing. Right. So it's not just about the hay. It's about all the time it's going to take to figure out where my whole hay deal.

Yeah. So I go up to the guy with full intent. I'm about to ask this man for his hay. And then as I got there, my brain started second guessing it. And along the pipeline, the question became, where did you get your hay? So I said to the man, where'd you get hay? Awesome. Fuck yeah, man.

That fucking rules, man. No one who needs to know that information must ask that information. If you need hay, you know where it is. But I do need hay and I don't know where it is. I don't and I didn't, he was there already and I was already talking to him cause I was about to bum hay off of him.

Right. So it seemed like we already had a rapport in my head. So I just asked him where about hay. There is like, I would say one in 1000 chance that you would have done that. And the other worker had been like, Oh my God, don't get him started. And then he's going to be like, you want the best hay?

And he's going to launch into a full explanation for you. And that would be worse for you. I realize, I realize at some point that I must've only said hay, cause he just said hay. And then I just kept driving. Awesome. Oh, you were in your automobile. I was in my automobile. Well, I'm going to walk down.

I'm going to walk away from that. No way, man. Remember the black bear? Same thing. I'm not going to leave the vehicle if I need to make a quick escape. Yeah. I like the bear encounter.

So if you have any hay, by the way, catch me after the show if you got hay. Catch him outside with the hay after the show. Bear encounter and talking with another human being are of equal danger to Justin Mac or. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. How expensive is a secondhand garbage truck that you could drive down and get out in your overalls?

That escalated so fast, Trav. I'm trying to be helpful. No one questioned, I've never seen a sanitation worker show up in a garbage truck, take my garbage, dump it in the truck, and me think, maybe they're secretly stealing. Show me some identification. It's the perfect crime.

Yeah, but you can't just be a trash truck that only picks up plants. Actually that may exist. Where else do you think they go Griffin? Yeah. Back to the earth? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, but not in that location. Can you create a sort of ghillie suit that you wear and sort of shamble around? And then when you come and you steal the bags of roughage from outside of the homes, if someone sees you, and they'll be like, Denise, I fucking told you there is a ghillie suit. And you get a little taller when you steal that, like,

oh, he's adding to himself. Where do you get the first long clippings to make the ghillie suit? If I had the ingredients for a ghillie suit, I'd be fine. All right, if you could create like a cryptid legend in your neighborhood of like the cryptid that steals like yard ways, no one's gonna believe it, but they're gonna be fine with it.

Yeah, it's cute. It's gonna get on the news. We have a leshy situation in our neighborhood. Keep your head, keep your eyes locked out. Don't look at him. We don't want him to stop doing it. It's very convenient for us, actually. What if there's a scorpion in there?

What if there's a scorpion in there? Did you even think about that? I don't know what's in yard waste. Or even a slug frankly. Street yard waste? I'd actually rather a scorpion be in there because at least when I freak out over that instead of a slug, everyone around will understand.

We love you, get hydrated, we'll be right back. Bye! We'll be back. Hi everybody, it's me, Travis, here with, of course, my main man, my older brother, Justin McElroy. It's me, Justin McElroy, and I'm ready to do the ads now. Well, Justin, as you know, today, when we're recording this, is Widow Griffin McElroy's birthday. A small McCartney. His special day.

And so he said that he couldn't do ads. But he did leave me this note that I'm gonna read right now. He said, all I want for my birthday is for you guys to tell people about Rocket Money. Wow, that's it? Yeah, he said, so he wanted people to know that Rocket Money can find subscriptions you forgot about or something that you paid twice and didn't realize it. They can also help cancel subscriptions for you and alert you to an increase in subscription price, all kinds of stuff. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And Griffin put here, make sure to tell them, because it's my birthday,

that Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Now I don't know about you, Justin, but it's starting to feel like maybe Griffin is being paid by Rocket Money to write this letter to us. Yeah, this feels like sponsored content, or advertorial, I guess.

Yeah, something like that. It's unfortunate to see our relationship deteriorate to this point Especially since like we haven't talked to Griffin in several days. And yeah, this is like the only Communication he left. Oh wait, he did what is there anything else on there? Yeah, it says Make sure I tell them that they can cancel their unwanted subscriptions and reach financial goals faster with rocket money Download the rocket money app and enter, he said my show name, which I find interesting.

My brother, my brother and me in the survey, so they know I sent you. Don't wait, download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from my show. Sincerely, Widdell's brother, Griffin, quote, Small McCartney, end quote, McElroy. Wow, it's nice to hear from him, I guess. I wish we'd heard some, anything else from Griffin

would have been, oh wait, where he is, how he's doing. Oh, there's a knock at the door in? Yep. Okay. Hello, it's me, my name is Philip, I'm a singing telegram. Your brother Griffin sent me, he told me he wanted to tell you something.

I'm sorry, I thought you left a gap there. I thought it was a conversation. No, no, no, that's part of the song. Oh, okay. Hello, my name is Phillip and I am a singing telegram. Your brother Griffin sent me to get you out of a jam, a gift givinggiving jam.

Okay. You want to give something great? You want to give something that's not a plate? Well, let me tell ya, Griffin says you can't go wrong with Aura Frames. Do you have a mom? Do you have a dad? Did you used to and now you have different stuff? Well, get them in our frame setting it up is not too tough

Hey, Philip. Sorry real quick. Can I interrupt you for a second? This is your bed Travis Well, this is my part give some details. Oh, okay It's not just for your mom or dad or dead parent as Philip alluded to. It's a great gift for everybody. Maybe your little brother who sent you a singing telegram on your birthday. Whatever. Four of Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and was featured in 495 gift guides last year. That's a lot. That's more gift guides than you were featured in. And Nora's got a great deal for your mom.

Okay. Here on Mother's Day, Griffin sent me with 40 bucks that he paid me to say. Maybe I should read this part, Phillip. Do you think? Just so it's clear. Oh God, Phil is crying.

Okay, this is gonna be all day. Real quick. There he goes again. Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time. Other customer thinks they're better than Philip. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off,

plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver Mat Frame. That's A-U-R-A frames.com promo code mybrother. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Philip, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't doing a great job. Can I finish the song? Yeah, of course, sorry.

Sorry Travis, and it's so bad with the weird energy and a low, low temperature. Nobody's gonna respond to that CTA. That's a call to action in the biz. That's a part of the song? He wrote it. Oh, Griffin, how did he know? I guess he could probably assume I would ruin it.

Okay. I also want, hey, Phillip? Yes? Before you go, I wanted to let you know that tickets are on sale now for our live shows in Michigan, Minnesota, and Ohio. And that Minnesota, my brother, my brother, and me has already sold out. So you won't be able to make it know that tickets are on sale now for our live shows in Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio. And that Minnesota, my brother, my brother and me has already sold out.

So you won't be able to make it to that one, Philip. Can I sneak in the back door? No, we just met. If I'm bringing your door dash order. Oh, then yeah, of course. All right. Wow, you wear a lot of hats, Philip. That's where I keep my money.

Under your hats, okay. All's where I keep my money. Under your hats, okay. All Taz Show will be. Why did you tell him, Philip? Now you've gotta kill him. What was that, Philip? He has the secret of your money, hats. You gotta bury him again. Time to get a new identity.

Again. Danger, but out of town, Phil. Okay, all Taz Sh shows will be TAS versus and all the information and ticket links are available at bit.ly slash Macro Tours. We're also gonna be at Origins Game Fair and Dragon Con. Find out all about it over at our site. The merch, everything's there too.

So go check that out. Philip, you said you wanted to show me something in this dark alley over here? Yeah, come on into here! It's perfectly... safe for you! Okay, sounds reasonable. Hey, everybody, enjoy the rest of the show, and thanks to Raleigh for having us.

I want to munch squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast. Thank you. It's a podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. And you know that Subway likes to get up to some things. Some of the things that you know Subway has gotten into include, is it tuna? I don't know.

That was a big one. Remember when Subway had the kind of rep where people were like the fish ain't fish and a good number. And didn't the science show that it wasn't fish and they were like, we'll deny it to our grades. We are so surprised. We're as surprised as you are. We're like so surprised.

Justin, have you been doing Munch Squad for a while now? Have you ever thought about starting a podcast within Munch Squad? That's a podcast within a podcast. Munch Squad Jr. Is a podcast within a podcast? When we have Munch or Munch Squad Bites, I've called it both, but sometimes there's a small

Munch Squad that is within the Munch Squad. And if he goes any deeper than that, he ends up in limbo. And then we have to throw him off the stage. He gets down there and tiny Paul Rudd is like, you've gone too deep. Yeah, we're mixing our cinematic metaphors, but yeah, for sure.

Yeah, so I know the perfect thing to wake me up would be a real kick to my palate and there's nobody that can deliver that like subway. Paul, let's see that great new offering, Footlong Nachos. Jesus Christ. Paul, let's see that great new offering, foot long nachos. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Now, this is-

Wait, is the breakfast thing your own kind of sick- Cause you were talking about the kick. Is the breakfast thing your own kind of sick twisted skewed thing or were they also, were they genuinely like come on into Subway for breakfast nachos? No, there's no breakfast angle. You were talking about the kick

to get him out of the inception zone. Okay, now I understand the joke. So this, can I just say, having worked many, many a terrible job, my immediate reaction when I see this is thinking about the onboarding of the everyday Subway employee. Yeah.

When a manager comes and goes, all right, guys, so yeah, this week corporate wanted me to let you know we're going to be doing nachos from now on. That's our new deal. So it is going to require a six week intense training course. We were pretty harsh on AI, and I think it was deserved and pretty good. But I do think it was a person that thought three feet of nachos, one small Sprite, nailed it. Also.

That's exactly how. No one asked them for hydration to be part of the picture, except presumably their boss. And they decided, three feet of these is hydration to be part of the picture, except presumably their boss, and they decided, three feet of these is gonna be about 11 ounces of tap water. We'll get that down for you, no problem. I also want to point out the inconsistency of shadows

in a way that makes it look like they had the picture, and then they thought, this just looks like the nachos are floating in a shapeless void. So they had Doug go in and shade it in with a pencil. The upper one looks like it's actually a dire wolf. They're just like emerging. The portented nachos.

Listen, these get nastier than those are Doritos. OK, they're Doritos. Fuck off. Two legendary brands, Subway and Doritos, are coming together for the most iconic collab-o of the year. Doritos Footlong Nachos! The one on the bottom looks like it has raspberries or raisins or something.

Good eye! Subway's latest Footlong snack is freshly prepared to order, starting with classic Doritos Nacho Cheese Flavored Chips. Not the original. Did you guys know that? Original Doritos, not Nacho cheese flavored chips. Not the original. Did you guys know that? Original Doritos nacho cheese flavored. Yeah, taco flavored.

Weird. Subway's latest four snack is a freshly prepared, starting with Doritos nacho cheese flavored chips layered with cheddar cheese sauce and shredded Monterey cheddar cheese. Whoa, I haven't pooped for four years in the future. Just reading that sentence, I'm cyber constipated. Justin, can I just say, I've never thought about the fact

that there doesn't exist like an original flavor Dorito, that the only ones are all flavor, like Pringles has Pringles and then all the other things on it. There is no like base There is a base Dorito, but they don't sell it anymore No, but even this Dorito is a flavor But it's not this audience does not care about Doritos. I don't know how much clearer they can be listen

They the cheese is balanced though with a spicy jalapeno slices The cheese is balanced though with a spicy jalapeno slices, diced tomatoes and red onions finished with zesty Baja chipotle sauce. Guests can add rotisserie- Now this is the part that fucks me up pretty bad. So listen- This is the- No, no, no, it is. Listen to the sentence, okay? Guests can-

Guests can add rotisserie- style chicken or steak at no extra charge Wait with the option to add a scoop of smashed avocado For an additional cost hey guys This is fucked up what they're saying is it's easier for them to find cows Than it is to find avocado yeah, you understand They got cows and chickens come out the ears. Have that for free, no problem. But if you wanna smash an avocado on top, that's gonna cost you.

Listen, I am not advocating for anyone in the audience to do this, so please don't do it. But is it possible, Justin, that that Sprite soda in the corner with a QR code on it is an ARG that it's gonna start you down a path. The game is afoot. The game ends with you on multiple toilets. It says, order ahead, rump the line.

All right. Cool, all right. So yeah, I'm sure everybody scanned that and got some access points at Subway Club. Here's a quote Subway's newest partnership takes everything our fans love about Subway sandwiches from quality veggies proteins and tasty toppings to the next level with the cheesy flavor and iconic crunch of Doritos the next level with the cheesy flavor and iconic crunch of Doritos said Paul Favre, the senior vice president of culinary and innovation at Subway. So what he's saying is we take everything people like about Subway. Yeah and we say

let's do nachos instead. Because if they were being honest Paul Favre would say you know everything you love about Subway sandwiches they're there. It's an option for when you're like I think a hamburger is bad for me, but maybe a sandwich doesn't feel so bad Yeah, and what we've done is remove any of that ambivalence any of that doubt and let you know yeah, it's bad for you You know what's so sad? I'm looking at this picture and thinking that this is still the fast food chain I turned to when I just want something light. Yeah, sure.

Just a little, a little peckish. Maybe some Subway would be nice. I think it should be illegal to sell nachos in a unit of measurement other than maybe weight or volume. measurement other than maybe weight or volume. To bring the three Christian dimensions into this. I also know that there exists drive-through subways. And introducing a foot long trough of drive-through nachos. No fucking way is the structural integrity of that

Carb board up to the task you guys of being handed from one person to another person through an open window These guys are fucking sandwich artists, man. They are pros at handing over foot long food guys Container like a mummy there's no way that's getting, especially I'm getting it and maybe handing it off to someone. There's so many failure points. Imagine if the ensogeting happens at the midpoint and it just like slurps the whole mess.

There's sandwich artists, Justin, they are not nacho engineers, which is a totally different skill set. Whether you're, sorry, Paul wanted to mention one of the things Whether you're in the mood for a snack Pairing them with your favorite sub or sharing with friends There's one acceptable one Subway and Doritos are serving up even more flavor in every satisfying bite Don't act like this meets a bunch of needs. No, I love the idea of filling a niche

I'm gonna need a foot long sub, but I don't think that's gonna be quite enough You know what would be a great pairing one third of a yard of nachos. I Have a two foot hunger It could only be satisfied with two feet of food. Do you want a yard of cookie, like a foot of cookie to go with it? Don't be ridiculous. So like a two foot square? Nope. A two foot straight pipe of food, baby. Okay. We're quote, there's another, you could pick up the nachos,

put them on the sandwich, condense it into the same linear space. Too tall. Whenever you have a collaboration, both companies always have to get a hand on the ball. Yeah. So on the Doritos front, we didn't approve of this! Help! Help! Help! Don't put this on us! This was a bridge too far. The Taco Bell shit we fucked with, but this is pretty wild.

Listen, we're proud to team up with Subway to bring a bold take on the classic nachos experience by combining the bold cheesy crunch of Doritos, nacho cheese chips and Subway's freshly prepared ingredients said Scott Finlow, chief marketing officer Pepsi Co. away from home. Now, ah, do you know how hard they had to work to not put Doritos in that person's job title? Why the abstraction is what like, they should be like Chief Crunch Officer, you know, Scott Danger or something like that.

This is a- Justin, is PepsiCo Away From Home the name of it, or did they catch him away from home? Yeah,, is PepsiCo away from home the name of it or did they catch him away from home? Yeah, yeah. PepsiCo away from home. Cause we don't want, we need a comp, like it's like a division that we can shut down.

We need a fall guy for if his subway not so fast. That wasn't classic PepsiCo. That was PepsiCo. That was PepsiCo away from home. We don't even know that. That's actually not related. Can I say, Justin? Scott's assertion that we are excited

to be a re-envisioning of nachos. Where get this. It's a foot? It's chips. Oh, okay. With cheese and other things on top of it. We done changed the nacho. Well, Travis, okay. If you were at a funeral and you opened up the casket and there were nachos inside,

you would be like, this is a bold reinvention of what I know about nachos. Hey Griffin, that's the wildest fucking leap I've ever heard. That if I opened a coffin and saw, I'm out of wake, I open the coffin, it's full of nachos, and I think, wow, they really changed the nachos game. I'm just saying how completely pedestrian to say these look like nachos, how tame, when in fact it is not the form that has changed but the method of delivery. You walk into a Subway and they have fucking nachos? What?

Yes, so why not say in the press release, we're changing that nacho game by having them at Subway now. That is the question, it's like some ways in the meeting, Doritos is like, so anyway, it closed, they get some Doritos and you put not just stuff on them. And some ways like, I still don't understand why we are here. Why do we have to be a part of this? Open up a new store. It's a good idea.

We just don't want to be a part of it. We don't have any of the infrastructure for this. Our cheese has to get melted in a big oven that we also put the bread into baking. We don't have liquid cheese. Our only chips are baked, L lays still with olestra, dog. That's it. We're gonna have to change the plumbing for this. What is a Dorito?

So that's the Doritos nachos at Subway. Thank you so much, Subway and Doritos. We're gonna do some live questions now now calling down people who sent in their questions in advance. Please don't approach the microphone if we do not call your name. Paul, while we're waiting, do you have the picture of the statue for us to talk about? We'll talk about it for a second because several people emailed us and we thought that we could address the the Raleigh issue if you have the image. It is a few people I mean literally the

minute after my dad walked off stage I opened my iPad and I had an email that was called nutting in Raleigh and it okay called Nutting in Raleigh and it okay so you guys have it's a thing right like this legend has been passed around I guess. Is it really called is it titled by the artist the big nut or is that just what y'all call it? No one knows. No one knows. Anyway've lost the time. Anyway. One day it looks like it will open and reveal like some kind of dinosaur or something. It will be me. I will emerge from it.

The stories are true. The artist was Dad 45 years ago when he dropped a huge nut. Huge. Snowy nut. As legend foretold, I emerged from a nut named Thought. Yes. My nature was irrepressible. Okay, listen. I'm sorry for the interruption.

Please go ahead. Hello. Yeah, go ahead. Hello. Hi, I'm Maggie. She her. Hi, Maggie. Thanks for coming to Raleigh.

Yeah, thanks for having us back. Yeah, welcome. Yeah, welcome. It was also the end of the train line, so we would have gone back the other way if we hadn't gotten off there. Well, appreciate the stop. They wouldn't let us do that. They were really weird about it.

Where we said, one more again, and they were like, no. No, no, no. So what's your question? Well, I guess to stay on theme, I do have a nut related question. Amazing. You've come to the right place. Thank you. I figured as much.

So I teach ukulele, and the fun thing about musical instruments is they have all these different parts. What do you teach them? I'm so sorry, Maggie. He got you so good just there. It's really nasty. It's fucked up, honestly, but he got you so fucking good

like blasted. Sorry, go ahead. Face melt mode. Anyway. I guess. Yeah, you did get me. Thank you. That's the only reason we called you down. Thank you so much. No, no, no, Maggie. No, Maggie. No, Maggie. And let's what's your question? Okay, so there are lots of different parts of the ukulele and I'll have students label them with different tactile labels and one of the parts is the nut. Right. And I teach second through fifth grade, so. Yeah, no, unfortunately, that's where it starts, gang.

Are you actually able, I'm curious, to pinpoint, like, I've been working on it, say a year and a half, and they haven't laughed at the nut until now. It's exactly. Oh no, they're in a sort of discon. Yeah, it's like a psychological development. Yes.

I first want to say, I was the first one to read your question, and I thought it was good, and I wanted to include it, and it took me a distressingly long time to find it again, due to the challenges of spelling ukulele. Um. No, that's fair. It did, it did a few passes, but I did get back there.

Do you have a mnemonic device to help my brother and any other people here in the audience on how to spell ukulele in the good way? Because Travis backstage shouted the wrong spelling. I would have sworn. I screamed at the top of his fucking lungs. I would have sworn they were saying one U or three E. You were so certain.

I remember it from one Homestar Runner video where they say, ukulele. That's it. UK u le le right All right, great so We have a sign the image image of that just so you can see so far your efforts have been to underline the word nut and Print the word nut in a bunch of cards and underline the word nut And it looks like every part of the ukulele is called the nut. So, just so we can be clear,

this is where you're starting from, is your first thought was print the word nut over and over again and underline it and hand it to the kids. And we all know what part of the ukulele is the nut, but for the one person in the audience- Don't say a fucking word, Maggie. We should have to guess what the nut is.

Hey, Maggie, something else I'll say. A lot of times I'm not sure I can help people, but I'm pretty sure we could make it less funny than you've done here, honestly. This is pretty much what five-year-olds dream of. So I'm sending them a card with the word nut underlined in case they missed how funny it is. them a card with the word nut underlined in case they missed how funny it is.

Is it the part you turn to tune it? No, that's a tuning peg. All right. I don't need to know what it is. I just need to know what it is. So it can't is there a different... Griffin, what is the nut on a usual... Fuck, I was hoping you wouldn't ask. Um, is it the thing that the string goes in? It's like the bridge, you know, the bridge?

Yeah. The nut is the other end of the bridge. Right, yeah, that's what I was talking about. Gotcha. I thought so. Please. Paul's gonna now zoom in on the nut. Yes, bring me that nut.

Paul's a pro, I'm sure he knows where the nut is. Right, Paul? Paul's looking. Wait, is that it? Paul's looking. So I wasn't that far off. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not that big of an instrument though, Trav. To be fair, it's hard to miss. Do they really need to know this to play the ukulele? Yeah, they don't already know it. Call it something else. They're not gonna correct you. Yeah, just say, and this is called the... The twisty.

What do you guys think teachers do? You don't pick one thing to lie about? That's not the job. That's not the... Oh That's not the role. Oh, they don't, Justin? I don't know what the... You're allowed to have one thing to lie about as a teacher. One.

You should be able to tag. You already have to do that to tell them they need algebra. I don't see why you should have to waste it on the ukulele. I think you should be able to tag in the health class teacher just for this one thing. No, that's a good point. They get paid the big bucks to discuss uncomfortable topics.

Hey, Maggie, start pronouncing it newt. Oh, that's... Oh, that's... Oh, that's... Ukulele, newt. Newt. That's the newt. Newt, yeah. And then you're not lying, you're not lying.

You're just wrong. Does that help? Yes, that helps a lot. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. That's good. Back to baseline.

Back to our baseline picture. Hello. Hello. Can you confirm your name for me real quick? Evy. Evy, okay. Hello, Evy. You have our undivided attention. Hello. Can you confirm your name for me real quick? Evie. Evie, okay. Hello, Evie. You have our undivided attention.

Sweet. I would just like to know how to get a bigger wine pour at a wine tasting. Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Have you tried anything so far? I kind of wave it in the air and say, mm, orange peels?

So wait, your suggestion, hold on. Your... Is your indecision supposed to communicate your deep desire for more? Well, yeah, or is it a situation where you think if you can guess what the wine is good enough, they'll go, mm-hmm, and then pour more of it? Correct. Your reward.

Here's the thing. I've been to wine tastings, I've seen sideways, so I consider myself a bit of an expert. It's all made-up bullshit, so if you were like swirling it around and you said, hmm, not tall enough to get a good read. I'm having trouble catching the nose all the way down there, you say. I guarantee you, nine times out of ten, whoever is pouring it for you at that specific place is like, I don't know either. Yeah, man, this sounds good. Is this enough? Can you paint us a picture of, are you talking about a bigger pour to wine tasting?

Are you talking about that first little sniff that they pour out there for some fucking reason, or is it like a flight situation has an insubstantial amount of wine? No it's just that little little like when you go to a taste it not the part where the person opens it and you pretend like you know what you're doing and say yes this is excellent fill my glass and please walk away before I have to say anything else please is more you're going to a thing and they pour it and say now try this one and you go Hmm, very good as you think not quite drunk enough 10% there 20% right as you go on. Yeah I mean is were other people getting bigger pores? Yes, they were that's fucked up. I

Think hey listen as one of three siblings all you have to lean you lean and say, why do you like them more than me? Yeah, have you ever tried, hey, I'm trying to get drunk. That would probably work on me. Oh, I thought you wanted fun, Evy, to be here. Don't say that last one, probably. Maybe you could start a anticipatory noise before you saying when, right? So as soon as they start pouring I think Start doing some fucking like start doing some foley work as they come to port just go

Okay, bring your own sharpie before they board grab the glass put a mark on it So that you say just so you don't have to worry about it. You just need to do something confusing enough that they think about it for a half second, right? Like as they're pouring, like, ooh, chuggy's. And it's like, that's confusing enough. They're like, I wish they hadn't said that. And then by then they've already poured

like a half ounce. Yeah, just start counting. And three and four and five and six and seven and eight and done. Eight is a that's a lot of wine. Can you have a puppet with you? Sorry, what? I think you said puppet, but I also heard puffin. Can you? Or I think is is it puppet? OK, first of all, but I also heard puffin. Can you hear, I think is, is it puppet then?

Okay, first of all, if I'm a sommelier and I'm pouring wine for the table and someone has a puffin, they're gonna get extra fucking wine for sure. Wait, sorry, the person or the puffin? The person, puffins don't drink, you know this. Not yet, but what an innovation. If you have a puppet that is incredibly lifelike

and those those bum people out. An incredibly lifelike puppet and then you'll say and them too and then you just pour theirs into yours double dip. Double dip with the puppets portion. It will need to be life-size for them to believe it's over 21. Yes. Have you ever, do you have a shirt that says I'm just Double dip. Double dip with the puppets portion. It will need to be life-sized for them to believe it's over 21. Yes. Have you ever, do you have a shirt that says I'm just here for the wine?

Oh, that's a good one. Cause then you could kind of point to it like, huh? Right, do you like my shirt? And that's again, just confusing enough to buy you like an extra second while they're reading the shirt. That's what the shirt should say. While you were reading this, I got free wine, idiot. Thanks sucker.

Also, if you are hurt or upset by my shirt, please tell me, I brought a lot of $5. I have a jacket. I got a lot of $5 bills and I'll tip you generously. I'm sorry, I just. It's more of a dress really. Yeah, it's like a, yeah, it's like a down, it's a floor length gown with a train.

This is one of those ones where they give you the bucket and then the expectation is maybe you'll spill. No one really does that, right? Well, then you have a lot of buckets around that you can accidentally spill stuff into and be like, oops, I spilled mine, I need another. But then that bucket wine is still good to go. We're running out of steam up here no Griffin you're the one who said drink the spit bug it would be a clean empty one thank you so much did we help you

that was so helpful thank you very very much thank you please approach the microphone can we also get William S in section E row X, seat 113. I hope this isn't a joke because that does spell sex if you read all the letters together. Fuck me, I hope that's not one of those. Hello. Hello. Hi.

I'm Bryce. DM. Can you- I'm looking at people who work here to see if anyone's like, nope, not a thing. Bryce, what's your question? So recently I've been on a big like 90s recap kick. Okay.

And I've been watching a lot of old stuff. I've been watching a lot of old Nickelodeon and I've been watching a lot of Rocket Power. Yeah, fuck yeah. And I am at a point where I want to learn how to do a kickflip. Yeah. But I've never ridden a skateboard without falling down and knocking the air out of my lungs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK. So and I don't want to work that hard. So. Sure. OK, Bryce. Bring it home. So how can I learn how to do a kickflip in four days? OK, so I've lured you here under false pretense.

It's time. You sprung our trap again, Bryce. You sprung our trap again, Bryce. Here's the thing that I want to ask you, Bryce. Every single live show we have ever done, there are at least one to two questions about skateboarding. And I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why you people keep asking us about something

that we are clearly so deeply, foundationally ignorant of. We have had 15 years through peaks and valleys of skateboarding to unfurl any sort of wisdom. It's zero. Yet, every single live show, there is a skateboarding question. And to that point, it's always a very technical, how do I do this?

How do I do this trick? And it's like, it's not like I wanna get started. Please tell me other resources I can. So Bryce, not to put you on the spot, but what is it about us that's like, these guys could skateboard? And not just skateboard, but have the skills to teach you. Bryce, I'm so sorry.

Four days! So, okay, it's a number of things, honestly. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, take your time, man. This is, we've never done a gotcha segment before, so like, we're also pretty nervous right now. No, this is cool. My pulse is like 120. Yeah. No, no, no. Ours too.

You get used to it. Bryce, I'm gonna help you after we address this thing. Yeah, I just assumed, yeah, I'm looking for a gut reaction. It's a number of things. It's that often I hear talk about anamorphs. I hear talk about other extreme awesome 90s things. Right. And Griffin's like hold my-

No way Bryce, sorry to dial down on the first one, but your thing is like they lived through the 90s and remember stuff from it so surely. No, don't put Bryce on trial. He is here as our guest under false pretenses. These dudes fuck with K.A. Applegate, they can cry. I'm so- We haven't even gotten to my favorite part of the question, Bryce, and you already kick

flipped my thought process by when you said in the question, how do I learn in four days? What's that? I thought, I think you've made it clear, tell me if I'm wrong. I thought, oh, there's a deadline. But what it sounds like you're saying, Bryce, is I only have four days of caring in me about this. So if I don't get it in four days, I'm giving up. How do I get it in four days or else?

Which is it, Bryce? Oh, that is 100% correct. Okay, great, fantastic. Now that I can work with. That is the most self-aware thing anyone has ever said on this show. I just know for a fact that if I actually try for four whole days, I feel like I can get it.

I think you're absolutely right. Do you know the stumbling block for me is this like, you would fall down and die. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, the literal one, which is, it's gonna be such an unpleasant four days though, isn't it? A lot of falling to the ground.

And at my age, I don't know, Bryce. How are your bones, Bryce? So why not increase that? Get some cool teens to watch you learn in four days. Because if you're not gonna get it with that pressure on you, you're never gonna get it. Or do it near two billboards. Here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna in four days learn how to skateboard okay. And you'll skateboard behind one of the billboards. Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna in four days learn how to skateboard okay and you'll skateboard behind one of the billboards. That's where you'll have, I mean Tony Hawk back there behind that first billboard. He comes out and does a perfect kickflip and then disappears behind the second billboard where you will then skateboard out the other side creating a perfect sort of stereoscopic illusion. Wait, wait, illusion wait wait wait wait wait what if you go by one billboard Tony Hawk kick flips across the gap and then a beautiful Las Vegas style showgirl emerges from the other side no wait no shit tie it all together back to what you said you Tony Hawk and then it's a horse and you're an animorph. And Tony Hawk. That's right.

Yeah, dude, now we're back at our core competency. Does that help? Absolutely. Thank you so much, Bryce. Thank you, Bryce. You're a great sport, thank you, Bryce. Thank you, Bryce. Thank you so much, Bryce.

Thank you, Bryce. It's important that the horse doesn't stay a horse for longer than like, I think it was 45 minutes or something. And if the horse can do a kick foot too that's icing hello howdy y'all okay so so glad you're real by the way and not just a sex gag for us thank you so much hey hey they could be both that's fair I have a wonderful library in my town in order to get to the books that I really want, which are the ones about Batman,

you have to go downstairs through the children's section in the back. They have a wonderful YA area, but I feel like kind of a creep going down there. So I feel like not being a creep walking through the kids' section to get my Batman books. Can I ask you a question?

Because there was a phrasing there that I do wanna clarify. Instead of saying Batman books, Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Because there was a phrasing there that I do want to clarify. Instead of saying Batman books, you said books about Batman. That's a huge difference. There's a very big divide. Are you looking at like maybe like dissections of Batman as a character?

Or do you just want to keep up with the adventures of your friend Batman? Yeah, not all books that have Batman in it are Batman books. Explain what you just said to us slower. You're not looking for like... Are you reading between the lines of like Oliver Twist? I bet Batman is alive at the time when this book is happening. I think you need to get Batman reclassified.

I think you need to go to the library officials and say, hello, I would like to volunteer to organize a new detective section. And all the great detectives will go there in this section. And it's for grownups only. Only. In fact, if you want to label it adults only, and maybe put a beat in.

Adult detectives only. For adult searching. Have you asked why the Batman media is Classified because there's some pretty spooky grown-up stuff that that guy gets up to some I guess it's just the drawings That's all our all our all graphic novels and comic I've seen some of our books over there in the youth section where they should not be, I think. It is your moral obligation to correct that scenario. Yeah, if you see our books in a youth book store or any book store, you have to buy them to keep kids safe. Yeah, that's important.

Has this, have you been confronted before or is this a silent fear in the back of your mind? It's a silent fear and it's how the kids look at me sometimes. Sure. Wait, how the kids look at you? Yeah, well, I'm tall and I got a big beard and I got a big hat and I have to wear sunglasses. And they may be more like Marvel guys, so that could be part of the issue also. See, this is why I think now that we have our cell phones and I store my pictures of my kids in there, I do sometimes wish I had a wallet with a big drop fold out of pictures of my kids that

I could pull out when I felt like someone's judging me. Yeah. I could walk through a children's section and just go, God, I miss my two children that I definitely have. I definitely have two kids. And flip down like 20 pictures of them and people will be like, he definitely has kids. And that's okay.

I have two kids and a normal relationship with Batman. I like him just as much as everybody else likes him. I like him the normal amount and you're the assholes for hiding him in the kids zone. Does that help? Yeah. What if you flipped your wallet out and it was just 20 big shows of Batman? I'm supposed to be here. Thank you, William. Thank you. Thank you, Raleigh. Thank you. You can lower the lights

Thank you so much. You're all so much Hey y'all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You've been such a fun audience. You've been very cool We really appreciate it. We want to remind you that we do have a beautiful posters and maybe- By Anna Road. Thank you, Anna Road. Do we still have the coins? Are there still coins?

There are still coins available. If you do not buy them now, you will never get a chance to. So get your coins. Justin, I can't believe we've got some of these coins left available. These are- These have been selling so fast.

Now why are we pushing these items? Because we're bad at business and we don't make any money off of them Can make sure you suck up because we don't If we don't sell them it's kind of like negative money. Isn't that fucked up? Anyway, and I also want to say thank you the May Mandy Center here. Yes gorgeous. We're so happy to be back Thank you for having us. This is our second time performing here, and it's been absolutely lovely every time. Next time, if you could make it a little less humid,

we would appreciate that. The humidity was too bad for us, ma'am, Andy. Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better with You. Thank you to, thank you to our dad. Thank you to... And thank you to our dad for nutting in your city to give me my older brother, Joseph.

Thank you, Plant. That's right, Citizen. Thank you, dad, for nutting in your city to give me my older brother Joseph. Thank you, Plant. That's right, Citizen. Thank you, Dad, for nutting in our mom. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Amanda. Thank you, Rachel. Thank you, everybody who helps us put these shows on. And seriously, thank you all for coming.

You all have been absolutely amazing. To finish things off here, can we maybe share a fear that one of our listeners has decided to be... Can I read it? Yeah, please. Will you slide it over? Thank you. Here we go. This year, I will become faster than my fear of having to convince anybody that I'm the real me in a clone standoff scenario. I'm just not a big enough threat to clone.

My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. My brother, my ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you Because it's true Ah ah ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah It's better with you Maximum Fun A workaround network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you