My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 760: ImMaxulate Conception

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Happy Easter – we’re pretty sure that’s canon! This year we’re celebrating with very specific spy training, celebrity-loaded sauce launch parties, and our continuing profound obsession with George Geef.Suggested talking points: Faith-Based Content, Is Young Sheldon Smarter Than Einstein?, The Muscles Need to Know It, Pickle-Blasted Flexibility, I Think A Lot About Brain StuffNational Immigration Project: https://nipnlg.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach

My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, it's better with you.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, me and advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle brother Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy. I'm trying to decide, Trav, maybe you can help me make this choice, whether or not to let that slide or make it part of it, make it like a sort of diegetic part of the show.

I don't know. I think it's part of it. Why did you say Happy Easter, Juice? Why did you start this? It's after Easter as we record this, I know that there's a gap between this and this. That was before the, that wasn't in the recording. It was. We said it.

It is. Me and Travis have ruled you. Because now we've referenced it. It must be. It's diegetic. Do you see how we said it. It is, it is. Me and Travis have ruled you. Because now we've referenced it. It must be. It's die-a-jack. Do you see how we did it? Because in my head, I was thinking about how I went to see the Minecraft movie with my kids. Uh-huh. Okay.

And when I went to see the Minecraft movie, I saw that they were showing episodes of the Jesus TV show, The Chessman. Lost? Oh. No, the other Jesus TV show. Sorry. And by the way, in the finale of Lost,

when they reveal that it is- Perfect Strangers? Just a huge Christian allegory, I felt personally betrayed by that. Yeah. So they were shown episodes of Chosen, it's a TV show about Jesus that has made $800 billion, and the other thing is-

Is Jesus working with a detective to solve crimes? Because if not, I'm not interested. That kicks ass. No, it's just the same story and we all know how it ends, but this is the, speaking of- Wait, Griffin, you didn't introduce yourself and now people are so confused. I'm Griffin McElroy, thank you.

Okay, so I saw there's another flick called King of Kings and this is the story of- The Kingsman. Jesus, stop me if you've heard about this guy. Another Easter treat for everybody, a faith-based film. This place was running two different faith-based pieces of programming or this cinema? Yes, this is like, yes. Cool. was running two different faith-based pieces of programming, or this cinema? Oh, yeah, this is like, yes.

Cool. And I, yes, a lot of Christmas movies come out at Christmas. I don't see. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, fair, yeah, but this was pretty chilling. Just to see in the hallway, it's like a lot

of faith-based content. I saw you grew up in that. I didn't love it. But I was gonna blow this off, but then I started looking at the cast and guys, this thing's stacked, okay? Can you not reveal roles? Will you reveal some names and maybe we try to guess

who the Jesus is? And can I just do a long shot? Is the rock in it? Cause he seems to be in 18 movies a year, or John Cena, one of those two. No, that's amazing. There are a lot of vets. Like there's a lot of like voice actor,

like Dee Bradley Baker legally mandated appearance. Wait, is this animated or live action? It is animated and it is the framing devices. Charles Dickens is telling the story of Jesus to his kids. Wait, oh, hold on, that's real. Yeah. Okay, I thought that was a joke that you came up with on the fly.

I'm just giving you, I'm giving you fair, this is to be fair, okay? I'll tell you right now, J-Man, I don't know if canonically in history, Charles Dickens would have cared about the story of Jesus, but less than that, I'm also not sure if Charles Dickens has kids. Does Charles Dickens have kids? I don't think that your sure if Charles Dickens has kids. Does Charles Dickens have kids?

I don't think that your ignorance of Charles Dickens is necessarily a great basis for criticism of the film. It's like your unawareness of it. Is not, he did write a book called The Life. No, that was a criticism of myself, to be clear. Oh, okay, cool. Okay, The Life of Our Lord is the book that Charles Dickens wrote about the story of Jesus.

So I would say he has a vested interest, Travis. So you now have all the pieces to play this amazing game. I'm gonna tell you some actors and I want, and yeah, Travis, you can guess. Where would you put, and I'm just gonna give you a D. Bradley Baker is Willa the cat. I don't think that's relevant to the story.

I had to remember that there was a Dickensian layer here because I didn't think that was in- Where would you put in, where would you slide in, say a big talent like Ben Kingsley? Oh shit, Ben, Benjamin? Benjamin Kingsley? I'll tell you. I'll tell you what's hitting me.

Yeah. What? Pilot. Pontius Piper? Very close, Caiaphas. Caiaphas! One of the classics. Now where would you put in Pierce Brosnan? Not in this film.

Well, you gotta put him in somewhere, he's in it. Not Christ. I could see him as a Barabbas, perhaps. A Barabbas. Son of Barabbas, you think he's gonna get out of bed for a Barabbas? Yeah, that's a good point. I'm going with Pilate,

Guy's not going with with pilot on this one. Pontius Pilate. Correct, Travis, Pontius Pilate played by Pierce Brosnan. Now I can't keep guessing that, though. Now what about Kenneth Branagh, though? Where would you put Kenneth Branagh? Okay, hold on. We're getting close to Christ's territory

with how big these names are. Kenneth Branagh, huh? Is this an Oscar-bait Jesus movie or what's going on? Aren't they all? It is an Oscar bait Jesus movie. Okay, I haven't heard of it, dang. An Oscar bait Jesus movie for best animated feature though. Huh, I don't know.

Where would you put Kenneth Branagh? I'm gonna say Judas. Charles Dickens. Oscar Isaac. Oh my God. That's Jesus. That's Jesus. Ah. Yes, Travis, it's an Oscar bait Jesus movie.

Wait, it's- Oscar Isaac stars as Jesus. Oscar Isaac is Jesus. So it's technically an Oscar bait because they got him to play the role of Jesus by offering him the role of Jesus. So yes, it's an Oscar bait. He was also, I believe, in a Christian ska band

called the Blinking Underdogs. So yeah, we're getting some interesting context. Like we learned about Uma Thurman in this film, playing the role of? I mean, Mary is sort of the only one that jumps immediately to mind. Catherine Dickens. Damn it.

Sorry, forgetting about the Dickens thing. Dickens says a big part of this. Yeah, they sneak in there. That's a big part. Forrest Whitaker. Damn it. Sorry. The Dickens say he's a big part of this. Yeah, they sneak in there. That's a big part. Forrest Whitaker's in it. Forrest Whitaker is in it. He's in it. I'll give you a hint, he's the rock of the church.

Oh, Pete. Pete. Pete, big Pete. Mark Hamill's in it. Oh man. Now Mark Hamill has to be in it, cause it is animated, but who would you, where would you put Mark Hamill?

The Joker. The Joker? He's, yes. Yeah, he's the Joker in it because it is animated, but who would you, where would you put Mark Hamill? The Joker. The Joker? He's, yes. Yeah, he's the Joker in this. Whoa, weird, the Joker. That's cool. No, he plays, he plays King Herod. Oh, okay.

Makes sense, makes sense. I don't think they got a big, this probably won't surprise you, but I don't think there's a, there's not a lot of big name actors lining up for the role of Judas. I get who I killed. They don't have a big one for Judas.

Christoph Waltz, just doing full blown Christoph Waltz. Christoph Waltz Judas. Walton Goggins would be amazing as Judas. Oh yeah, the great betrayer. Christoph Walton Goggins, now that would be, that's the guy I would get. That's the guy from, that's the guy I would get. I don't know if you guys have seen him a lot. That's the guy from Superbad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Maybe his dark green dog? Jesus, it looks like they're stuck on that cross! Why don't you just bounce on down? The wonderful thing about Jesus is he's the only one! He wasn't gissing or ducking. No... Hey Jesus, Max, get Jesus on down from that cross. That's a different guy.

No, did you do, oh no, you played Pete. Pete, I'm gonna go D, yeah, I was trying to find a Pete but it wasn't there. I'll tell you Jesus, here's the thing, nail him to the cross. Oh man, my dad's drunk again. So that is the film film as these things are getting Pretty big also, I mean Jim Cummings and I did share

Share a scene cuz he I didn't realize this he played Lord Boxman in Okk. Oh, that's great. And From I was in that same, the same episode, the, a couple of episodes ago. Look at you. Cool. All right, look at me go. And listen, this is an advice show.

This is not a show about the hit Jesus movie. And I know what you're wondering, how did they get all these big names? The answer is they gave them a lot of money. A hundred billion dollars. These movies make a lot of money. These hundred billion dollars. One might say 30 silver. These movies make a lot of money. They're also crowdfunded.

So they make a lot of money. Okay, so here's the deal. This is an advice show. All right, and we're gonna take your questions and turn the Malcolm E. Leck into wisdom. We haven't forgotten our core competency. My neighbor and I are friendly with each other and our young children often play together.

One day I saw them packing their van, and he grumbled they were going to Disney World. He seemed very annoyed about the whole trip and complained his wife was making him go. Few days after they left, he's texted me if I'd pull his garbage out in the street. I said, sure, as long as you take a picture with Goofy for me.

I don't know why I said Goofy. I'm not a Goofy fan, and neither is my kid. I was just giving him a little grief since he didn't want to go on the trip. Next week when they returned, I saw him in the yard and asked him what the vacation was. He showed me the phone, which had an endless amount of pictures of his family with Goofy and Max.

What's more is he said he had gotten their autographs and was having it all framed to present to my three-year-old as a present. Oh, okay, I see what's happening here. Now I know where the question is. Oh no! Brothers, my boy has no idea who Goofy is, let alone his son. This was such a nice gesture, but it all came from a throwaway joke I made.

How can I get my son to have a deep love of Goofy before they give him this gift? Oh man! Oh boy, this is a McElroy question, I've never heard one. Fuck a duck! This would definitely happen to us. Jesus. Yeah, you really threaded the needle here. You've come to the right place.

Goofy is the safest choice to be like, take a picture with, because that's why I think, I know this wasn't a question, but psychologically, you're like, maybe you did some subconscious calculations, and you're like, maybe you did some subconscious calculations. And you're like, I don't wanna say Minnie or Daisy, because that would feel weird if I'm like, I need pictures of them.

That would feel fetish adjacent, yeah. Goofy is the right pull. I don't know why, but it is the funny. Sometimes with jokes, you gotta run through, and I don't know why it is what it is, but like, goofy is the pull. I don't know why, but it's Goofy. Yeah, you can't make a three year old like anything, has been my experience.

You could show them Goofy movie, but they might be hugely uncomfortable with the complicated social dynamics of, they don't get into that shit in these YouTube, in a YouTube video, they don't get into complicated family dynamics and kids today can't hang with that shit in a YouTube video, they don't get into complicated family dynamics and kids today can't hang with that shit. They cannot. And there's a part

where Max murders a man by swinging him into a giant thing of life. Max fully kills a guy at the end of that film. Yeah, the guy's trying to chase Max, they swing on rope. Doing his job as a security guard, this kid could have a bomb vest strapped to him trying to kill Powerline so that the president

will notice him. And this is my favorite, I love the goofy movie, it's my favorite Disney animated movie, I'm wearing a Powerline shirt right now, is when they land on the stage next to Powerline. Powerline's like, what? And doesn't do what I think anybody in that scenario do, which would be to leave the stage as quickly as possible.

Leave the stage immediately. Let security handle it. They can't because a child killed them? That's correct. Now you could do, I think the way I introduce my children to Goofy and every parent's approach to introducing their children to Goofy is different. I understand that.

But I did inform them that according to Goofy's different, I understand that. But I did inform them that according to Goofy's Wikipedia, he has had many names over the years, including George Geef. Henry only calls this full George Geef when he sees it. You guys really ruined him with that said. And so when we went to Disney the first time, and you have the people in character going around meeting everybody,

and I said, oh, here comes George Geefe. And that just tickled my daughters to no end. And that I think is how I got the ball rolling. You could also just play the two musical power line scenes, stand out and eye to eye without the complicated family dynamics. And those are fun. Those are good. I've been trying, I've been struggling with this problem

in my house, cause my kids were on the YouTube and I was like, I can't, you guys can't watch the YouTube anymore, cause I watch the documentary about how YouTube's bad. Oh, what? So I told them I can't. Don't, oh man, don't tell me what it is, cause then I'll feel compelled to watch it.

It's like the family YouTube's, it's like everybody knows it's bad. So Mr.ast is still okay, right? Oh, Beast is, Beast. All YouTubes is bad. YouTubes is bad, because my kids will watch this show. No. It doesn't matter, I'm not judging. I haven't done any research on MrBeast recently.

YouTube is bad for my kids, for our decision. So we say, you're watching too much YouTube, no more YouTube. And my kids are like pretty minimal to it. And then, a week after the initial, you know, ranting and screaming, but about a week later, and this is just a couple of days ago now,

I see Cooper and she is, sometimes I worry about oversharing, but she's watching Young Sheldon. Whoa. Unironically, Travis, she's on season two, episode nine. Yeah, you can't watch, you can't, I watch a season and a half of Young Sheldon.

She's on season two, episode nine, and to be fair, she is fast-forwarding. What? It's on Netflix. So she does fast-forward through anytime where there's kissing. But she has been fully, fully indoctrinated. There's a lot of kissing on Young Sheldon?

Wouldn't think there's a lot kissing. I mean, not a huge amount, but there is like any time any relationship drama happens. Every episode has a deep tongue scene in Young Sheldon. Which is fucking weird, man. But most of the time it's in the background. It's happening extras, yeah. She came to me while I was brushing my teeth

and she said, hey dad, I think young Sheldon is smarter than Einstein. And I said, go on, do tell. She said, well, did Einstein ever build a rocket? And I said, no. And she said, did young Sheldon ever build a rocket? And I said, I would have no way of knowing that. She said, well, he did. I said, well, it sounds like young Sheldon ever build a rocket? And I said, I would have no way of knowing that. She said, well, he did.

I said, well, it sounds like Young Sheldon is smarter than Einstein. And she said, but I think the kid from the Minecraft movie made a jet pack, so he's probably smarter than both of them. He's the smartest of all. And I said, yeah, okay, that's the power ranking right there. Kid from the Minecraft movie, Young Sheldon, way down here at the bottom, Einstein.

Well, Reed Richards, I think is right above Einstein. Thank you, Travis, good point. Reed Richards, I think, is right above Einstein. Thank you, Travis, good point. Reed Richards, absolutely. Yeah, so you can't, there's no hope here. You can't make your kid like Goofy. You can, man, when you get the gifts, just you take them and then they'll be like, aren't you gonna give it to your son?

And you say, no, this is embarrassing. I'm a huge Goofy freak. Oh, yeah. It was too embarrassing to admit it. Don't say freak, though. No, you do. I mean, own it. Say, I'm a big Goofy, I'm a huge goofy freak. And it was too embarrassing to admit it. No, don't say freak though. No, you do. I mean, own it. Say I'm a big goofy,

I'm a nasty fucked up goofy freak. And this is the only way I get my jollies. How did he smell? How did he smell? So explain the smell of goofy to me. Is this the hand that touched him? Is there any chance that you typed, take a goofy picture with a lowercase G?

Cause then maybe you could flip it on and be like, no, no, no, just like a fun one. Whatever you're like, that's not Goofy, the one with the bill and he wears the sailor hat. Yeah. The spinach guy. Yeah, he's got the big mouse ears and the red shirt. I'm proud to announce that Goofy's sour balls are back

and better than ever. Oh, no kidding? Oh, baby, you can definitely get those. And I got them, and then my son Henry laughed at me because I got balls, like he's at an age where that's very good for him. And I was like, I don't care. I'm not gonna stand here and be judged.

These Sour Balls really tickle my fancy. I will say this. I have taken pictures with a lot of Goofies, because my kids make my father-in-law do his Goofy impression too Goofy, and then I take a picture of it, because it's good, and then I put the, and I have like t-shirts with pictures of my father-in-law

with Goofy on them. So I will say every Goofy is a pro. Every Goofy, here's what you can rest assured of whatever experience your friend had, it was not unpleasant. It was like that goofy made it very easy. And especially if they can tell you're a virgin, they will make it like.

So good for you. If they can tell that you haven't had sex at all, they're like, they know it somehow and then they are like so nice to you. The first time I went to Disney World, the first time I went to Disney World, and I was like, I shouldn't be here, I haven't fucked. And then Goofy came over to me, and he put his hair,

and guys, check this out, he talked. You never get this from these Disney bars walking around. But he talked. What did he say? He leaned in really close, and he was like, I know, he said, I know, it's an, oh no, it's hard. Me too, pal. And then I was like, what about Max would it? And immaculate conception.

Immaculate. And then he walked away, but I felt like really cared for. And then I felt like I could be at Disney World even though I hadn't had sexual. Max just birth fully formed. I can't believe you made it past the scanners, Griffin, to get in. Yeah.

Max just birth fully formed from a bowl of high dad soup. Just like, emerged. My high dad soup is... Hi, dad! Whoa! Yeah, at the end when he falls down the waterfall, and you actually, if you turn the volume up, you can hear him shout, But I haven't even fucked yet!

And then Max catches him and reels him up. And was like, what were you saying, dad? And he's like, nothing, Max. I know our visits are getting a bit fewer and further between these days, but I would like to go to the wizard's house. I mean, friends grow apart over time, Griffin. It's natural.

It doesn't mean he's out of your heart. Friends grow apart, websites redesign away all of their funniest stuff or close entirely. Like this stuff happens, guys. But this one is, it was sent in by Abby, thank you, and it is how to actually become Jason Bourne. Yes! Thank you! You don't have to wake up with amnesia

on an Italian fishing boat in the Mediterranean Sea while being pursued by assassins to become Jason Bourne. In fact, you may be happy to learn that we recommend taking the route that involves zero assassination attempts. Woo! I'm always afraid that I'm gonna read a WikiHow article and then it'll be like, kill.

And I'll be like, fuck, okay, shoot. All right, you're the boss. But it does, there were a lot of factors in there and the only one they negated was assassination attempts. Yeah, you do need to get in there. So that's the only one they negated was assassination attempts. Yeah, you do need to hear amnesia. Yeah, they do recommend being found in the Mediterranean Sea by fishing boat with amnesia.

Right, that part's easy enough. I do wonder if I'm not, if like, assassination is completely off the table, why am I learning to become Jason Bourne, right? For the other stuff, the other stuff he could do. He doesn't only assassinate people. Yeah, but if someone's like, if I'm on the phone and I'm like,

it's me, Justin, and I'm very tough, just like Jason Bourne now. Yeah. And they're like, I know you can't assassinate me. Yeah. That's off the table for you, right? Admit it. I'm not intimidating. Can I ask you guys a question?

Sure. A semantics question perhaps, but is the difference betwixt murder and assassination just like notoriety? I don't know. I think it's you're paid for it, right? Paid, paid work? I don't know.

Anyways, I'll just tell this some day, I'm famous enough that when I am killed, it's assassination, I guess is that someday I'm famous enough that when I am killed, it's assassination, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Okay, how to become a real life Jason Bourne. The first few parts here are all physicality stuff, and I'm not gonna have to do that. Your regular cardio, whatever,

improve your strength by lifting weights, like sure, whatever. Man, if I could do irregular cardio, I'd be excited, you know? Come on, my desire to live longer hasn't done that, my desire to be Jason Bourne is certainly not gonna motivate that. Well, no, you can have the desire, right?

Like I don't do like regular intense cardio and I don't do like really heavy weights, I do some stuff in there. That stuff would probably make me feel so good if I did it enough that I wouldn't need a WikiHow article to teach me how to be Jason Bourne. If I was doing that stuff I'd be a fundamentally different person and that person would not be

on WikiHow learning how to be Jason Bourne. That's an excellent point. Choose a martial art. That's a really good point actually. One person who's never been on Wikipedia learning how to be Jason Bourne is Jason Bourne. No way. It's unfathomable.

No way. So choose a martial art to study and practice. I could do this from a purely, studious sort of research level and not like actually do it. Like I could watch a lot of YouTube videos about, Collie. Does it not mean the muscles though? Don't you need to get it in the muscle memory?

Yeah. Do the muscles need to know it? Cause that's the thing. I've seen the Jason Bourne movies a hundred times and I don't remember him ever having to stop to think about how to punch a guy. I don't even know that he remembers how to punch a guy when the movie starts.

Well, no, they put like a chip in his brain or whatever. That makes him punch like super hard. No, Griffin, that's the matrix. So learn a second language or more. This is good. Jason Bourne spoke German, French, Russian, Dutch, Spanish and Swedish. You don't have to speak all those, but picking up another language of your choice will give you that international man of mystery energy, Bourne Exudes. That would be kick-ass if in a Bourne movie he went to, you know, Paraguay

and then they started to speak to him and he was like, I'm sorry, like, I don't do that one. I don't do that one. He pulled out his phone and put in Google Translate, and he was like, type it. I only know Esperanto and English. Do you do Swedish? I'm so sorry. I can totally throw down in Swedish.

You could probably pull this off if you named a bunch of common ones that lots of people know, and then at the end, you put the one you actually know. So you learn one obscure one, and then you're like, yeah, I'm fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, whatever, and then Czechoslovakian. I don't know if there's a separate language.

You know, one of the smaller ones. You can always just say Esperanto. It's the best gag. So next time you're up on a language learning app, just you're becoming an assassin. Learn how to climb walls of repel. Hey, Duolingo, if you're listening, putting that is like, and why are you in trouble?

Oh, I like to travel. I don't know why you'd pick the one that has never advertised with us. I just don't know why you would pick the one that has never advertised. Well, I'm trying to create advertising. We burned the other bridges, Griffin. We haven't even built that one yet.

We didn't, we did a kick-ass job with those bridges, but the market changed and more famous people opened up podcasts, but you picked the one that we haven't done? How are we gonna get this? No, I support that though, because in a sense, what Travis is saying is like, the other ones have proven that they're thirsty for it.

You know what I mean? Like the other ones have proven that they will pay for it. Right, yeah. And Duolingo won't, so that's fine. That's fine, guys. And they have a funny owl thing. We're not afraid to talk shop. Right, yeah. And Duolingo won't. So that's fine. That's fine, guys. And they have a funny owl thing. We're not afraid to talk shop in here, guys. We're not afraid to let you in on the process.

Our life is the podcast. Our life is the podcast. Learn how to climb walls or rappel. Bourne was a master climber. While we can't recommend you start scaling fire escapes and jumping from rooftop to rooftop, we can definitely suggest joining a local rock climbing gym. Sure.

That's different from climbing walls though, isn't it? Cause when you say climbing walls, I'm picturing a Spider-Man type. You're saying climbable things. Yeah, you don't get- Well, we build from that. Right? Sure. But I'm saying fire escapes ladders.

I don't need to learn to do that. No, you can't use suction cups. You can't use suction cups when you're summiting. Like they don't stick to the rocks and stuff. But Borne uses suction cups a lot. I think if I went through all the trouble to train my body and learn a martial art and become an, and learn five languages and become an incredible spy,

I would never try to go down the side of a building because I could fall and die. And then what was all of that work for? Yeah. It does, it is, was all of that work for? Yeah. It does, it is, a lot of these are irritating a little bit because it's like, well, we did tell you to get in great physical shape first. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, sure. If I, in this alternate world where I got super fit, I bet learning to climb like a rock wall would be very attainable for me. Yeah. I do think that. If there was an article about how to be Batman

and the first step was have billionaire parents. Sure, sure. Every step after that is like, you know what helps with that. But again, if I had a billion dollars, I would not be on WikiHow learning how to become Jason Bourne. I simply would not. You say that, Griffin,

but billionaires get up to some weird shit in their free time. No, but I would be getting like, you know, micro, micro machines in my blood. That gives me power. Power machines. Micro, micro, micro machines. Micro, micro, just these big fucking monster trucks driving around my veins, making me climb walls real good.

Yeah. And speak Spanish. You could pay Matt Damon to train you to be J.J. Yeah, for a billion dollars, yeah, for sure. I can make them name the next Jason Bourne movie, Griffin McElroy Returns, and then I would be it by default. Sharpen your situational awareness and memory recall. This would be cool.

I just started with this one. Honestly, I could use the little of this right now. If I could aug my brain like that, again, same thing applies, wouldn't be here. Shouldn't I sharpen my memory recall before I start taking on these additional languages? Like if there is a path to that, I should definitely sharpen that tool set

before I do the language thing. Is there a hyperlink there possibly to a Wikipedia about how to stop having ADHD? Yeah. That could be very useful to me. There's like five apps. Click the monkey to learn how to stop having ADHD. The next one, okay.

Yeah, PS, your ADHD is 100% what brought you to this article in the first place. You have a 15 minute lunch break, Jason. I'm gonna text you guys the image for this next one. The next one is get into parkour and learn how to run with style. And I don't know if you guys are seeing this, but the image that they've chosen shows a red-haired man

who has launched himself forwards, head first, legs up in the sky, a Kimbo, Peter Pan style, down a flight of stairs. There is no reality in which this illustrated gentleman lands this trick. He is about to eat shit. He's about to lose a lot of good teeth. I've also zoomed in on this man's face and it very clearly reads as to eat shit. He's about to lose a lot of good teeth. I've also zoomed in on this man's face

and it very clearly reads as, oh shit. Oh shit, why did I jump like this, face down, ass up? That's the way I like to die on these stairs. Dumb ass. Parkour is also really intense cardio exercise so it gets two birds with one stone. Thanks, article. Thanks for the life hacks of this discipline you made up.

Dress in unprovocative clothing with dark colors. Already pretty much doing that, I will say. No graphic tease on Jason Bourne. Some of my wardrobe may have to go. But keep your hair short but decidedly un-military. Okay, okay. Not sure why. I don't see why that makes me more of a Jason Bourne,

I guess, sure, all right. I like that description though, like you're telling me that when I watched the first, the Jason Bourne Prime, that I am to look at him and think, yeah, but it's not a military haircut. No, there's no way, like there's no debate, that's not a military haircut. I always-

Well, that would also also give him too many clues to the born identity. Correct. Oh, okay. That's the Doctor Army Man. I'm clearly some sort of army man. Look at my hair. Look at that!

You're smart. I must be a Doctor Army Man, can you- My hair is too long for an army man, so I'm clearly not an army man. No, you can see the shave the word army in the back of my head. It's obvious. Hey, is this the library?

Have I ever worked there? I feel like I'm a library man maybe. Nope, oh shit, I gotta jump up this building. Do you know about any pet stores? I also, I always have a moment of panic anytime I go to get a haircut and they ask me like, what do you want? Now I have something that I could say,

just like have it loaded in the chamber. I want it short but decidedly un-military, and I think I might get exactly what I need. Obtain at least a passing interest in firearms. I do like how Wikihow has couched this. Wikihow recognizes it can't say get gun crazy. It can't say that sort of, you know, responsibly. But at least a passing interest in firearms.

Griffin, I thought I knew where that statement was gonna go, because one of the defining features to me is Jason Bourne's collection of passports. But then it also occurred to me that probably WikiHow for many reasons can't be like, get yourself a bunch of counterfeit passports. That's a very, very good point, Travis. Reading the next goddamn point of this WikiHow, get another passport.

If you don't already have a passport for the country you live in, start by getting your passport. That's actually good. Thank you so much for that. Then if you have the time, money, and effort, find another country to try and establish residency. If you have relatives living abroad, look into the residency requirements there. You can normally get a passport

if you have family already living there. You can buy your way into a passport in several countries. Some countries offer very easy routes to citizenship. They're not saying, Travis, forge fake documents in this, I would say, wild world that we live in. They are saying, responsibly become residents of many, many nations. Wouldn't it have been amazing if Jason Bourne

had opened his safety security box or whatever and started flipping through 20 passports that all said, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne. And he was like, oh, I guess I'm... Ah, perfect. And then a letter from his uncle in Paraguay that's like, here's the passport, you're a citizen now. I love you, Jason.

Guten Tag, it's been Jason Bourne. Come visit me anytime, Jason Bourne. Guten Tag, Fraulein, it's me, German man Jason Bourne. Oh, god damn it. Look, he's put stickers all over his passport pages. There's no way we can read these numbers. Focus on your mission and always have a goal. This is where the wheels come off a lot for me,

is that now it's like, okay, now you're Jason Bourne. Here's what you're gonna do with it. And they don't have a great answer because they also can't say, you know, kill your fellow super soldiers. Well, at that point, it's coming from your contact to the CIA, right? Because I assume that when you get recruited to the CIA to join the BORN program, you're handed, I guess, a card with this WikiHow URL written on it and they're like, let us

know when you're done reading it, and then we'll give you an assignment. Yeah, that is a good point. A lot of these are just kind of productivity hacks. Focus on your mission and always have a goal, sure. Maintain a cool, calm demeanor at all times. I see Jason a little hyphy. Like, he does get, when he's like trying to kill a guy

with a rocket launcher, he's, I don't know how chill Jason Bourne is. That's why Griffin, at the end of every Jason Bourne movie, he sits down with his journal and writes, I like had another slip up today. Got mad again, gotta keep working on it. The post credit sequence. Make eye contact and speak with confidence

and do everything with conviction and self-assuredness. Oh cool. That's cool, yeah. I can definitely just flip that switch, but also I wanna be in that job interview where they're like, you're the perfect candidate. Honestly, we have never interviewed anybody with this much conviction and self-assuredness.

You made eye contact the whole time, you speak with confidence, you're quintalingual. You have incredible skills and you're so focused. What's your secret? And they say, well, model my whole life on this one Wikihaw article about becoming Jason Borg. Anyways, I'd love to work here at Best Buy. I would love to get this job at Best Buy. There's one thing that they did get kind of nasty on.

This is the last point in the article. Okay. Be prepared for geopolitical events or disasters. So Wikihaw's leaving a little bit of sunlight in the room, a little bit of oxygen for a chance. It suggests, and all that other stuff about kicking ass So, Wiki, I was leaving a little bit of sunlight in the room, a little bit of oxygen for a chance. It suggests, and all that other stuff about kicking ass and jumping up buildings and all that spy shit.

You might, there might be a thing that happens. You never know. Keep your eyes peeled. But I will also say that this is the equivalent of like going to a professional sporting event and hoping that someone on the field is gonna notice you in the stands and be like, this guy, because I'm pretty sure,

even if I, as an amateur civilian, trained myself to be a Pete Jason Bourne type, and then there was geopolitical unrest, if a CAI agent saw me like walking around or some kind of government official, they wouldn't be like, hey, you look like saw me like walking around or some kind of government official, they wouldn't be like, hey, you look like you could be a Jason Bourne.

Come over here, I got a mission for you. I mean, that's his whole shit. I don't think that's how it works. That's his whole shit though. No, Griffin, he was recruited by a government agency and trained by them. I guess so. We're splitting hairs pretty hard here.

Yeah, I wanna call foul on this whole article Griffin if I could. Sure, yeah. Wait, you're trying to disprove a WikiHow article? Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna try, I think I can do it pretty authoritatively if we look at the Bourne franchise, right? We have the Bourne identity, the Bourne supremacy,

the Bourne ultimatum, that's Matt Damon's triptych. Matt Damon's trilogy. Those are the ones with Jason Bourne in them. Yeah, those are the Jason Bourne ones, right? That's my mnemonic device. The next movie is called The Bourne Legacy, starring Jeremy Renner. Yeah, Matt is not appearing. Is he Jason Bourne?

No. No. He's Jason Reborn. Jason Reborn. The tagline of this film is, there was never just one. Yeah. And then the next movie is called

Jason Bourne, starring Matt Damon. Huh. And Jeremy Renner's not in it, cause there was just the one Jason Bourne. What I'm saying is, the movies that are about Jason Bourne could not make another Jason Bourne plausibly. No. They desperately would love to get the much cheaper Jeremy Renner.

They wanted to have a whole Bourne-iverse, but it's simply- Yeah, they tried. The interest isn't there. Listen. The interest isn't there. Listen- The interest isn't there. They can't make another Jason Bourne. There's just the one. And I also feel like, seeing that the last Bourne movie, Jason Bourne, was filmed in 2016,

I do have the strangest sense of feeling, like I didn't appreciate the Bourne movies when they were coming out a little bit. Didn't even know that there was one in 2016. I feel bad. I know, right? It feels like set- Shit.

Don't it always seem- If I could go back in time to when they were making the poster for the Bourne legacy, I would have pitched the tagline, there was never a Jason Bourne. Right? Yeah, yeah, that's cool. One of the first movie of the Bourne legacy

is Jeremy Redder waking up like, what? It's him watching the Bourne identity and going, I'm gonna be just like that. He turns off the movie of the Bourne, the third Bourne movie, like, what a great film. I wish I could do that. And then when they made the new Jason Bourne movie

after that one in 2016, the tagline was, oh shit, it's real? The first scene is Matt Damon turning off the end of the Bourne legacy. Like, I can't believe they got it so wrong. Anyway, back to work. Let's take a quick break. We're gonna go to the buddy's end.

We'll be back right after this. ["It's Better With You"] Guys, I've got another brilliant, like, million dollar website idea. Another one. Yeah, but I don't know how to get started. I don't, I have no idea where to get started. I just have the kernel, the whisper. What you need is a garden.

You need an idea garden where that can take purchase. Yeah. Where it can grow and flourish. And Squarespace is a way to do it. You need an idea garden where that can take purchase, where it can grow and flourish. And Squarespace is a way to do it. A little Squarespace of land where you can plant that idea and watch it grow into a beautiful, beautiful pornographic business. Thank you.

What do I water it with? Pornographic water. Well, Travis, you'll water it with the water of ideas from world-class designers that have created website templates that are gonna make your website look really good, even if you don't know what you're doing, because they know what they're doing, and you can just put your pornographic images.

Yeah. Your pornographic stories. Yeah, sure. Whatever adult material, Travis, you weren't supposed to be. But can I sell my pornographic time, Justin? Yeah, Travis, anything you wanna sell, Squarespace makes it really, really easy. Or just get the idea out, even if you're not business.

Squarespace can help. Whatever you need to do, this is the place to start. When people ask me, how do I make a website? And they do, all the time. They say, Justin, how do I do it? I say, go to squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch,

use offer code mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Don't wait anymore. Get that idea. Get it out there. Stamps. You love them. I love them.

But man, I tell you guys, if I go and buy them at the post office, I always end, but man, I tell you guys, if I go and buy them at the post office, I always end up eating them on the way home. It's tough, dude. They shouldn't put food on stamps. Such a problem. Yeah, well, I start licking them, right,

to get them ready for when I need them. Right, the main action is so, it's so eating adjacent already. Yeah, they had Dungeons and Dragons stamps Right, the main action is so, it's so eating adjacent already. Yeah. They had Dungeons and Dragons stamps at my post office and I had to ask for Dungeons and Dragons stamps. Yeah. I had to ask another person to sell me those.

Think about it. Were they delicious? To face to face. Were they filling? They were delicious. Okay. These are not problems if you use stamps.com. This is good, establish a need and then fill the need.

And this, the need we've established is you will eat, you will eat a stamp if you drive home with them. You simply will. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs. Wherever, whenever you can get access to all the USPS and UPS services you need to run your business or your life, I guess, right from your computer or phone.

Anytime, day or night, no lines, no traffic. All you need is a computer and a printer. They even send you the free scale that we've been telling you about. And you can get rates you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS. And you're not gonna believe some of the new flavors they've got lined up.

There's a Chipotle Mayo, a Guava Lime Madness. Oh yeah. They have so, yeah, there's so many great stamp flavors that you can get online that you're not gonna find in store where you're just gonna have nacho cheese cool ranch and some of the usual have more pickle blasted.

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Just go to stamps.com code my brother. And it says here in the copy, make sure you don't tell people to eat stamps. Oh no. Oh no. Oh well, we can't possibly record an ad a second time. Oh no. Oh well, we can't possibly record an ad a second time. Da la la la la.

Just. Da la la la la. Yeah. Da la la la la la la la la la la la. I wanna munch squad. Squad. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. I want to munch.

Squad. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Welcome to Munch Squad, this podcast is an independent buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh. Welcome to Munch Squad's podcast. We're then in the podcast, profiling the latest, greatest, and brand eating. Guys, how do you, be real with me, how do you feel about Glen Powell? Where you at?

You know, Justin, if I'm being completely honest, I feel an absence of feeling about Glen Powell. Had to Google him, had to Google him just now. Sorry, everyone. That's what Glen Powell is counting on. And then Griffin, after you Googled him, did you have the realization that this guy's been in like a lot of movies, but he doesn't really stick in the brain.

For a long time, Justin, I thought Glenn Powell had been the guy that played the younger brother in the TV show Titus with Christopher Titus. But I think that was a different guy who has similar features, but is a different human being to Glenn Powell. Am I- Yes, that is a separate person.

Okay. Yeah, I don't think I've seen any of these flicks, but I thought I got him confused with Glenn Beck for a second, and then I thought, this is an audacious question to ask us to start out the Munch Squad segment, is how do you feel about Glenn Beck? So Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. Of what?

Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. I didn't realize it was a tongue twister until I started saying it. Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. I think that's iambic pentameter. Yeah, Glenn Powell is launching a new line of sauces. I think that's iambic pentameter. Yeah, Glen Powell is launching a new line of sauces called Smash Kitchen. And this guys, the sky was dark at the launch

of Smash Kitchen because the stars were all out to celebrate Glen Powell's new line of sauces. Now, before I get into the party. Wait, is this in conjunction with somebody or just Glen German had an idea for a sauce thing? Yes, cool sauce. So everyone's favorite actor, Glenn Powell, that everybody knows and loves about, he realized this.

American families and the pantries where their meals begin deserve better. Too many go-to staples are packed with unnecessary additives, artificial nonsense, and things no one can pronounce. With that realization, Powell assembled a team of seasoned founders who set out to fix that,

creating a line of organic, non-GMO pantry essentials that bring wholesome, crave-worthy flavors without the junk. Oh, okay. The new line is exclusive, available now only at Walmart. Awesome, dude. I've been sweating this stuff big time lately. Yeah, it's been a big real problem.

All the GMO stuff and all the clean eating and everything is a real thing for Glenn. Real concern for Glenn. Now they only have GPOs. Glenn Powell Organizing. I've put together a full report here. Glenn did talk to Martha Stewart about this. Said, being out in LA, I think I just became

a little bit more aware of what was in my food. Fuck off in the biggest way possible. Actually, Glenn Powell, go eat a huge pile of shit. Eat all the shit you can see in the whole world. Especially when you're cooking and entertaining people. You wanna give them the best. Actually, fuck off the fuck off Glenn you and you and tell you what you and Katy Perry get the sauce powered rocket blast off right to fuck who cares

I guess uh Living in LA I uh Pay a little bit more What does that have to do with anything? As an LA guy As an LA guy I Think a lot about brain stuff Do with anything. As an LA guy. You tell me. As an LA guy. I think a lot about brain stuff.

Growing up around epic barbecue feasts at our family ranch in Texas, food was always an expression of love, said Glenn Powell, co-founder of smash kitchen and co-star twisters. That's my editorializing, but he was in that believe it or not. Through fitness, I became more aware and educated on better for you food. Oh cool. So basically what Glenn is saying is

because he has the time and money to pay a personal trainer, he now knows what to put in your kitchen. And because of his sort of geographic location, he knows a little bit more about food than you do. I'm reading between the lines here and I think what Glenn Powell is trying to say is, I started working with a guy who lives in LA who told me what I should and shouldn't be eating.

Right, right. I got a brand deal for sauces. It was clear to me we needed to make a clean condiment brand. No second guessing, just great flavors that connect us to the moments we love. Second guess, Glen. Glen, you're creating food for people.

Think twice, please, Glen. You should do, not just like, put that in it. Wait, but what, why do you mean, wait, Glen, no. And, put this root in the sauce. What is the root, Glen? Lots of sand. I don't know, sand just popped in my head. Sand, what sand is it?

Hey guys, I got a live report. I wanna talk more about this, but I got a live report coming from the party. So I just wanna, we're gonna interview some of the, we already talked to Glenn. If you guys could, I've got Leo over here at the sauce launch party. Leonardo DiCaprio came to Glenn Powell's sauce launch party.

So here's an interesting thing. Apparently, Glenn Powell knows that Leonardo DiCaprio came to Glen Powell's sauce launch party. So here's an interesting thing. Apparently, Glen Powell knows that Leonardo DiCaprio killed somebody and hit their body, because I can't think of any other reason Leonardo DiCaprio would be at Glen Powell's sauce party. But he's there. He doesn't do a ton of inventory. And then there's a gentleman behind the two of them

who is unnamed, but does seem to be really enjoying. Hold on. So we got Leonardo DiCaprio was there. Aaron Paul came to this Walmart sauce launch party. And here's this Josh Duhamel hiding his entire- That's not who that is. Hiding his face. That could be anyone.

I love the sauce. Good job, Glenn. I'm Josh Duhamel. Sorry, what was my name? Josh Duhamel. Everyone's posing at the sauce launch party. Everyone loves the sauce. Here's Josh Duamel, he's fixing his hat.

That's the real Josh Duamel. That's the real Josh Duamel. And yes, look guys, he's even, yeah, Angela from the office came to this sauce launch party. Hell yeah. She played cornhole. You're fucking kidding me. Anthony Ramos was there.

What a star-studded event. And get this, his parents came to his party. Oh, that's nice. I like that. Glenn Palisades. The family ranch in Texas. Let's talk about some of the flavors. You got organic hot honey ketchup,

organic spicy mayonnaise, and organic hot honey BBQ sauce. Now remember, when you see organic, what that means is nothing. Smash Kitchen is all about balance. Real food made better without sacrificing flavor. That's actually good to hear because I don't wanna buy printed out pictures of food.

I want real food, thank you very much. Real stuff. I can't eat a picture of ketchup. Unless it's a stamp. Yeah, that's true. So that's Samir Mehta, who is co-founder and CEO of Smash Kitchen. We weren't trying to reinvent ketchup or mustard.

We just wanted them to taste the way they should using high quality organic ingredients. Now I will draw your attention to the paragraph just before in this same press release, which reads, Smash Kitchen reimagines classics like ketchup, yellow mustard, mayonnaise, and barbecue sauce. So they are both re-imagining it, but not reinventing it. I do like once again, this is what I'm looking for

in a thing, because it should taste the way it should. If I eat ketchup and it tastes like mustard, I'm perplexed if not off put. Condiments are just the beginning, said Sean Cain, the co-founder and president of Smash Kitchen. Our vision is to transform the entire pantry, bringing delicious, organic options to every shelf, one category at a time.

Yes, Sean Kane, you have seen into me, the deepest heart of the American consumer, who wants nothing more than shelves and shelves lined with Glenn Powell's face. Please try my milk, try Glenn Powell's milk, and try my pickles. And listen, I'll tell you. Powell pickles.

Thank you. Smash Kitchens really got their finger on the pulse if they make sure that each of these things cost at least a dollar more than the store brand counterpart that contains basically the exact same thing. They don't just have their finger on the pulse, they have their finger on the pulse.

Lauren Paul and Aaron Paul were there. I love this part. We don't know that Glen put a finger on these two. I mean, it's true. You know Glenn. I don't like that. Let's not say things about Glenn Powell, we can't back up. Like he's a huge asshole peddling anti-science nonsense.

I don't want a company to decide what I think ketchup should taste like. I feel like that decision has been made for me by the way the ketchup from all these companies taste. If I get some salty tomatoey water out of Glen Powell's bottle, that's not, you can't say that's, sorry guys, the other stuff is bullshit. This is that real ketchup.

Nothing but squished tomato, water, and some salt. They pretty much figured that out to the point when I go to a restaurant and they have like in-house made ketchup, and some salt. They pretty much figured that out to the point when I go to a restaurant and they have like in-house made ketchup, and I'm like, what were you doing? Just get, just there's a bottle and it has like a tomato and some leaves on it and it says ketchup.

And that's all I need. That's the only ingredient I need in ketchup. I'm gonna send you guys, by the way, a picture of Glenn Powell and Zach Ward, who was in the title show, side by side, and you tell me that they're different people. Have you been working on that particular before and after? Only for five to 10 minutes.

Okay. Justin, can I tell you, it's so wild that you brought that up, that event, that Smash Kitchen launch event, because we've got events coming up. Oh, really? And I'm not gonna say that Aaron Paul and Anthony Ramos and Josh Duhamel are gonna be there, but there's not a 0% chance that they're gonna be there.

True. Because they could be anywhere. I don't know. They could be anywhere at any time. I don't know where they are. Josh Duhamel could be in the house with you right now. Lock your door. Hiding his face. Hiding his face. He could be there behind you time. I don't know where they are. Joshua Mel could be in the house with you right now. Lock your door. Hiding his face.

Hiding his face. He could be there behind you. Don't turn around. He hates that. But tickets are on sale now for our shows in Michigan, Minnesota and Ohio. All Taz shows are gonna be Taz versus during this tour. And yeah, man, get all the information,

get all the ticket links at bit.ly slash McElroy Tours. We're gonna be at Origins Game Fair in Columbus. We're gonna be at DragonCon. And we're gonna be in Huntington, West Virginia for the Harmony House Renaissance Festival happening, I believe, May 2nd? Third. May 3rd. So come there, get a chance to see us,

depending on how much time. bit.ly slash Harmony House Ren Fair with an E. Yes. Is where you can go to get tickets. And for all the information and tickets about our live shows, you can go to bit.ly slash McElroy Tours. Thanks to Montaigne for the Asphrat Theme Song, My Life Is Better With You.

It is the number one single across the whole globe on every country's charts in, now, like this week. So like that's huge for Montaigne and it's huge for us. So thank you, Montaigne. We have a final thing that one of our listeners wants to be faster than. We've got to find, what are we, how are we saying this? There's gotta be a smoother, gotta fear? Yeah.

Okay, gotta fear. This year I wanna be faster than my fear of all the old dudes swimming laps at the public pool. They may be strong and fast, but so am I. Fuck yeah. My name's Justin Mack. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. It's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you Is it true? Ah ah ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah