My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 778: Face 2 Face: Yellin’ at the Kellen Felons

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

From the Squad-carrying acoustics of the Atlanta Symphony Hall in Atlanta, it’s your go-to conduit for the monoculture, so long as all you care about culturally is Wonka and/or the Joker. Get your daily boost and join us as we make slam dunks in the answer hole!Suggested talking points: A Toilet with Width Depth and Height, Lossless Farting Audio, Tatooine the Planet, I Am Not an Oboe, Vile Sticky Nonchocolate, Go Piss Girl, The Big Bin of Grapes in Your MindEquality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three. It's the song.

of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's rippin' into a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach My life It feels life It's better, it's better with you

My life, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Welcome to my brother, my brother, made an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler, Macon. What a thrill it is to be here in Atlanta, Georgia! What's up, Traff Nation?

I'm your middleist brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolf, Wharf, Vrimver, McElroy. Thank you. And I'm your sweet baby brother 30 under 30 media luminary Griffin built for Tough McElroy. And just a quick show. shout out to all my road dogs sitting up at the top balcony. I think it's two people. Do we have two road dogs up in the top balcony?

Awesome. I have a super... Did you say arf, arf? That's simply not correct. They couldn't hear from all the way up there what everyone else was said. I'm so excited to be here with you guys. And I wanted to begin this evening by sharing somebody with you.

I kind of feel like our show is an aggregator for all the quality media in the world. Like if you watch our show, you kind of get everything that's happening. Yeah, absolutely. It's a conduit for the monoculture, Justin. Yeah, absolutely. If the monoculture is Wonka and or Joker.

So this one... Imagine those two together. Oh, the Wonker. So it... He's so fucking twisted, dude. Get away from those... When you eat a candy, you die. Don't get away for those kids, Wonker. To be fair, that holds true of Wonka as well.

This confluence leads to stories that come across my desk that may not be huge headlines elsewhere, but might as well be like the Hindenburg in terms of the weight of the import of this story. And that is the story I'm going to bring to you. This story, this video story that I've edited personally, so everything you see in this video was hand-selected by me to appear in the video.

Awesome. It was edited just to speed things along, no context really has been removed, okay? And there are three discussion breaks within where we can kind of discuss as we go. Oh, cool. I love a discussion break. I don't think we do that enough with them.

So make it easier on Paul. I put discussion breaks in it. Yeah, for sure. I have no idea what's about to appear on this screen, and I can't wait. Slash. Okay. Oh, wait.

One last thing. I want to say this. This video is from an interview conducted by NPR, and I think it's a great example of why it is so important to support public media. And I just say also Harrison Ford's on the screen for those of you at home

and Harrison Ford has reached a level of gives no shits during interview that I hope to someday reach where someone asked him a question who's like, I don't know man, I get paid to be there. I also just all I want. Do you want to request

when the video is playing there's no discussion as we do have discussion breaks built in. Right, sure. Thank you for making space for us. And I should point out this is not one of them. Jay Leno is calling you right now

I'm on my toilet seat What? Okay So this is our first discussion break I'm all I can All I can summon is my reaction to this woman who is acting like

Jay Leno is like the biggest name drop anyone could do. Like if you found out the Judeo-Christian God was calling Harrison Ford to talk about his toilet seat, that's the reaction. As the story progresses, this woman will be proven

to be far wiser than you. So yeah, Jade Leno is calling Harrison Ford about his toilet seat. And she asked what? And is that the best theory you guys have? All right, let's see. What's next?

I didn't know this was a theory break. Yeah, do you want us to solve it? No, it'll be revealed. In the next discussion break. Yeah, Jay's printing a 3D printed toilet seat for you. Why is he printing a toilet seat for you? So, first of all, Jay Leno. First of all, Jay Leno appearing in the maker space

is, he's already made so much that he is a participant in the maker space is so fucking cool. I also can't get over how strongly the vibe Harrison Ford is giving off of, I actually don't want to talk about this. Yeah. And she's like, no, fuck that, Harrison Ford. She's a hero.

that's what I'm saying. She's really clung on to something that is very crucial that the world needs to know. But it's the equivalent if I was in the middle of an interview and I said like, oh, my wife texted me and told me to like pick up sour cream on the way home. And someone was like, what? Like they're really crying. Just sour cream. Except in this circumstance, it's Jay Leno 3D printing a toilet seat for Harrison Ford.

Yeah. Jay Leno is 3D printing a toilet seat for Harrison Ford. What's he following up on? Yeah, good point, Chad. What's their relationship? like even a little bit at all, I wonder. I love you guys. You both have 3D printers. You

ain't never made any toilet parts for me. But all I would say, Griffin, is the text message shared would be, hey, when a 3D print you a toilet seat, the 3D printed toilet seat is done. Yeah, this is a good point. I don't know what the middle part that's happening right now. We're going to live in this discussion break for a

minute just so you guys know. Why is Jay Leno calling Harrison Ford about his 3D printed toilet seat. What is so essential that he's like, listen, it would take too long if we tried to do it in text messages. So let's just I thought I just get you on the horn. Let's just whip through it. You want

to spike, you want to just hold it up to your button. I'll take a 3D scan with your phone. None of them were good. But if you play over at the same time. If you average them out, it's all right. Let's see why Harrison Ford is getting a toilet seat 3D printed by J. Lito.

Is your... Because I ask him. Okay. Because I hadn't seen him in 12 years since he quit the show since he left his show. But I remember that he's got Jay's Garage. Yeah, he's a lot of cars. You know about Jay Leno. Jay Leno has Thomas Edison's steam engine that was used to light the two square blocks at the World's Fair when electricity was first.

He's into machines. So he's got these three. And I had this toilet seat from a toilet that is not in production anymore. And the toilet seat has discolored in a way that is really unattractive. I can't find that toilet seat anywhere. I tried for years. Our friends in the plumbing industry helped me to try and get this. Where the hell are you?

Can I 3D print this? Ah. Jay Leno. I remember seeing the stuff at Jay. The first time I ever heard about 3D printing was Jay. That was a brutal fucking slog without a discussion break,

Justin. The fucking spacing of these discussion breaks is diabolical. Where to start? Each piece of information is building off the last piece of information. It's the last time the information spiral stops because each piece of information is built on the one before it.

I would like to, I don't want to, we don't need to rewatch the whole thing. But there is a moment where you can watch regret at the amount of attention she has paid to this, wash over the interviewer. If we could restart that clip, Paul, I think I can highlight. I just want to, I'm just, oh God, there's so much more. What? Why is this an hour long? Keep going, keep going. I really want to hear he's.

Keep going, keep going, a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good, too. There's a lot of really good stuff. Working real hard. When I really, really... When she says the phrase, oh, he's into machines. He's into machines.

You can watch, it's like, oh, I'm going to talk to Grandpa about what he's into lately, and he starts talking about model trains in a way of like, oh, no, I'm on the hook now. To listen to this. I get that Jay Leno's such a punching bag, and I understand that. He's earned it, but I think it's too much to say out loud on an interview. I need someone to 3D print a toilet seat. Who do I think of? Jay Leno.

Griffin, so cool. It's worse than that. He starts by saying he has not spoken to Jay Leno in 12 years. Yeah, man. So imagine your Jay Leno, the notification pops up. Not the message, not the whole message. Hans Solo is giving you the call. Give me the call. You know.

Oh shit. I haven't talked to Harrison in forever. I haven't talked to Harrison. What's up? Let Justin breathe. No, let make Travis do it. You have to do the voice. Oh, hey, Harrison, what's that?

No, man. It's a cartoon mouse. I thought about it for two ones. Hello, Mr. Harrison Ford. And then Harrison Warner's just like, hey, um, I've discolored my. No, wait. Okay, hold on.

Because that's, I've discolored my toilet seat. 3D brimms. me a new one. Okay, so that was our last discussion break. If you would take it to the end of that discussion break, this is our, this is our last So we don't get to discuss after the last clip? You can continue to discuss, but we'll call that the podcast, okay? Oh, okay, cool.

It's really hard to make that kind of call. Hey, Jay Leno, it's me, Harrison Ford. You, I, you know, from, like, like 15 years ago or something. And I just wondering, what do you want?

I want you to, I want you to print a 3D toilet seat for me. Okay, awesome. Presumably. He embraced the project in a way that I thought I never could have imagined. People appeared from the depths out of the shadows, and they got involved in it. This guy said, you can't do it. this, and the other guy said,

well, you're going to have to pay me that at the end. What? Wait. Is that the end? He's got a team of engineers involved? Yeah, he's got a team of engineers. Dayloader, got a team of engineers involved in it. And so why is he calling?

It could be for any number of racism, Travis. Can we all agree that there was a moment where we thought he was going to say something like it's Harrison Ford from Star Wars. Yeah. Well, in his mind, he's calling. Jay Leno, and Jay Leno's like Harrison Who, oh, from that guy I met 15 years ago. Yeah. Not like, Han Solo, you know.

Now, he does say, and this might explain why he has a team working on it, and maybe he misspoke, but he says a 3D toilet seat. Now, that's interesting, Travis. I love toilet tech. You know me. I do. A lid that raises up when it senses my proximity, a bid of any way, shape, or size. Yeah, I'm into it.

But a 3D toilet! How would that even work, man? A toilet with depth width, width, and height? Well, and technically duration. So really, 4D. All toilets are 4D when you think about it. I'm still taking dumps on drawings of toilets. I didn't include it in the video because it wasn't about her,

but the interviewer did ask if the 3D printed toilet seat would be functionally. or just aesthetic. And it's like, in what world are you like, here's the toilet I used to poop on? You can imagine what that would be like.

It's for the museums of Harrison Ford's life. Hey, everybody purchased more Harrison Ford movies so he has the residuals to buy a new toilet. Or his own 3D printer. His toilet is so old

they don't make toilet seats for it anymore. It's been a while. As J. Linneau creates a bespoke toilet seat for him. Could you buy I don't know, Ender's game or Battleship. I think he's in that one.

Whatever you can. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Yeah, you're welcome. This is important breaking news. This is also still an advice show. Okay, we, we, yes, thank you. Thank you for your approval. It takes us a minute sometimes to get around to it,

but it is still an edit-tarmine advice. This is our first question. I recently had hemorrhoid removal surgery, and I had to take a week-ish-off work to recover. Well, what's the question, Justin? My question is, when I return to work, what do I say to people who ask how my recovery went? I'm not ashamed of the type of surgery I had. I think it's important to destigmatize this issue.

Thanks for helping with that, hoops. Oh, wow, my pleasure. I'm going to finish this question in a second, but here's a true story from my life today. I was at the green room for the celebrities at DragonCon, and I used the air quotes because I was in there. And there really should be a different room for, like, us and the actual celebrities because we're in the room with everybody. And Amanda, our fearless leader, we're sitting there on the couch

and she looks at me and she says, hey, I just want to let you know, I still haven't gotten that email from Preparation H. And that's when Katie Sackoff sat down next to us. And like as you immediately engage, like, oh, Preparation H, huh? I'm like, oh, this is cool. This is exactly, yeah. Hey, just when you think your brand can't get any more in the toilet. Literally, yeah, quite a.

Here we are. Another good tagline for Preparation A. Yeah. Just when you, that is actually pretty good. It's easy to lay the blame at Amanda's feet for that uncomfortable situation. But I think it could also be laid at the kind of life you've lived. And the career you forged. It is difficult to know when Justin is okay with publicly talking about his love of Preparation

Age and when it's not because you brought it up at our panel. I tell you. You brought it up at our panel yesterday. Katie Sackoff is not at our panel. I know where it broke down. I know where it broke down. It's when Amanda said they hadn't. Because if I said they had, I might have been able to work myself up to a devil make hair like, uh-huh, I knew it.

You know, like, yeah, preparation age. I knew they'd fold, you know. But the fact they hadn't reached out is really what. Negotiations of the stalemate. They're icing us out. My colleagues know why I was out. Is there a polite but honest way to explain that I spent a week nursing my

gory butthole? That's from New Asshole in North Atlanta. Are you here? And are you in a well-padded seat, I hope? Wait, are you here? All right, don't blame you. That's fine. I don't think hemorrhoids and hemorrhoid surgery... Way to they stigmatize it, by the way.

I don't think we should stigmatize hemorrhoids and hemorrhoid surgery. To suggest, however, that there is not a sliding scale of virtue upon which all surgeries are judged. Seems wild to me. I don't know where hemorrhoid surgery falls on that scale, but it is below, like, I took a bullet for the mayor or something. I had bullet surgery for when I saved the mayor who's a dog is higher.

I think you could walk in and maybe loudly announce like I will be taking questions and I'll be giving a very PG version. But if anybody want them nasty eats Yeah, yeah. 1 p.m. break room.

Don't eat beforehand. No holes fired. $5 per person. In the comments on the video about me complaining about not wanting to take my hemorrhoid medicine. One of the comments

in the video was if this was a really serious case of hemorrhoids, you'd be begging to take the medicine. And I was I was just thinking like that is without a doubt in all my 44 years the most unhinged gatekeeping I have ever seen I'm sorry to a man, not to a woman

obviously about like to a man like myself. The most unhinged gatekeeping I've ever heard. People over you, use weird flex, but okay? Yeah, yeah. That is the weirdest flex of like, you think your hemorrhoids are bad. I was begging to shove a pill up my butt.

That's how bad mine were. My hemorrhoids? Coward. You gotta work hard to have hemorrhoids as bad as this bad guy. I'm not gonna ask you about your hemorrhoid surgery. If I'm your co-worker. Even if they're wearing a big t-shirt, says ask me about my hemorrhoid surgery?

Especially if they're wearing a t-shirt that says ask me about my hemorrhoid surgery. That's someone who wants to talk about their hemorrhoid surgery too much. So I imagine you will probably be in the clear. In fact, I am very curious about who at your job would be like, so hemorrhoid surgery, huh? Spill. What's that like? How about another question? Yeah, I'd love that.

I am going to be on a game show here in Atlanta within the next month. Family few? There's a $10,000 prize, and I'm going to be asked what I'll do with it if I win. My instinct was to be honest and say that I would use it to put myself through mortuary school,

but I don't know that that's the vibe. Can you give me some... Hey, we need them. What was that reaction, crowd? You just want your dead ass to lay in the street? Can you give me some potential answers that might make me stand out or better yet make the host bust up?

That's from tongue-tied in Trent. Are you here? Thank you. Listen. Oh, y'all, mortuary worker person. Wait, hold on, guys. Hold on. The kind of job you accidentally do because you couldn't find a job anywhere else.

You all are lucky that there's people like them going to mortuary school. You cheer for them. I'm sure shit not going to do it. I'm barely good at this. In their head right now, they're thinking to themselves, he'll never guess I'm nasty. I've really pulled the wall over. Even if you are, I'm glad you're doing it and not me. I've really pulled the wool over his eyes.

Is the, just whisper, because maybe you don't want to blow up your spot, but is it, is it family feud? No, it's not okay. Well, I'm delete all all the material that I prepped about how to do good on family feud. Are you in it by yourself? Where do you have a team? There's four contestants. There's four contestants. Is there a survey and does it say stuff? I'm not going to.

There is no way that they're supposed to leak all these important details before. I'm not going to risk their chance to be on TV with our stupid podcast. I love, can I just say, this is a lesson to all of us that we don't often realize our own light, even when we see it shine on others. Your answer for what you're going to do with $10,000 is go to mortuary school. And you're like, but what can I say to stand out? Yeah. yeah you're good you're worried about being like

the third contestant that day he's using the prize money to go to morto another one jeez a lot of people must die in this city I think I would just ask for it in cash and then less questions please

that's none of their business if you win the game fair and square you can do whatever you want with you yeah whatever or say mortuary school, but I need it only in cash, and then be really, really weird for the rest of the show. And I need it today.

Yeah. I've got a group on. What would I do with it? Huh? That's a great question. Here's one for me. How quick can you get it to me? No, seriously.

Like, do we get it in cash? Can we take it in cash in a smaller lump sum up front? Mortuary school makes you bring in your own bodies. They cost exactly $10,000. I need it by nightfall. I would just say save the orphanage. Cool. That's what I need the money for. That orphanage is doing okay.

It needs a new paint job in the library. I made a bet with myself that if I don't win $10,000, I'm going to destroy the orphanage. $10,000 is the cancellation fee for the construction crew I got to destroy the orphanage. I had to lease the nails. They're reclaiming them tonight. Hey, everybody. Yeah? I just feel like the show has been a little puerile up to this point.

And so maybe we could class it up with a little work of fart. Did you change the fart sound at the end of that? It's way better, man. It's a really nice fun. You don't even fucking know. This fart sound they used to run at the end of this stinger was the fucking lowest quality bit rate shit you've ever heard. We must have gotten some sort of better pay raise or something.

We must be spending more on our AV because it's a really... Yeah, that was fully lost this farting audio. I swear that was a point on my hog. I watch you go, pretty high. Yeah, that might have been an hog. It seems to all of this. Okay, listen, since we're here for DragonCon, I figured I would base this on some nerd shit.

Do you guys know Star Wars, Harrison Ford was on it? The guy who had Jay Leno 3D print a toilet seat. I had no idea that Justin was going to talk about him, but what a good, what good synergy. Just say it, man. So up first, this is a character from Star Wars. Kit Fisto. Can I tell you, Jamie?

Wait, let me try again. Kit Pisto. No, I was Kit Fisto. I saw Kit Fisto and I thought, what am I even doing? This is true. I thought I can't do this better than George Liggas already did. He called the music Jiz. Okay, Gary, you got that out of the way.

Okay, Jiz music. We said Jiz music. Han Solo's best friend and co-pilot. Poo-Bocko. And he's a big pile of poop. Poo Bacca? No. Better than that.

Chukaka? No. Pukaka. No. What's his full name? Chubaka the wookie. His name is not Chubaka the wiki. Yeah, that's crazy, Travis.

He doesn't have a surname. It's Lewuki. My name is Chubaka Lewiki. That's his goddamn name as far as I'm concerned, and I was looking for Chubaka the Duky. Travis, that sucks. That's not his name. They're not called Hod Solo, the Hugh. Leia, Skywalker, they're human.

I have, I hate to do this. They're not humans. But as an impartial observer, I'm very close. Yeah, but. Wait, hold on, Justin. No, no, no. Is that how you consider yourself of Worker Fart? Now, but listen, I've been watching Worker Fart evolve.

His show means a lot to us, Traff. Yeah, I've seen watching Worker Volve. And he's not impartial. I know we give you a hard time, man. But Work of Fart means a lot to me and Justin. Grimmons. The integrity of it is important. Yeah.

The Griffin's dominance in this game has subsumed my own to a point where I am just a sort of a bystander at this point. You're rooting for me. But here's that thing. No, Travis, listen, Griffin just came up with like three that was better than yours. I feel like, I feel like I may have to, as the oldest brother, I may have to take this bit away from you and make Griffin do it. Not now. Here, let me read the next. Let me read the next.

No, no, no, no, no. I ordered them in the ones I'm most proud of. Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait, sorry. I need to know if that list is ah or descending. Please. Is there nowhere to go but down right now? Which way are we headed?

I think they get better. They'd have to. He's not called Chewbacca the Woot. This is my friend and co-pilot. Chewbacca the Wookie. It isn't even the foul sound doesn't even match. Is that not how he's off to at Chubaka the Wookie? Or is that just my own?

No, that's fucking insane, Travis. I think you were high when he wrote these and you were thinking about Jabba the Hut. I'm Grito the Rodian, and I'm here to fuck. Okay, Teppy. They call me on Solo, the guy. I'm Jabba the Hut, the Hut, and I'm... I swear...

I, too, of Luke Skywalker, the guy. We must be related. I swear to God I thought that was the case. Yeah, no, you can swear to God that you thought that was the case, of course. You're saying it. I need a minute. Okay.

Oh, man. Okay. This planet is home. Is this more Star Wars? Yeah. Okay, great. To Moss Isley. And where Luke Skywalker grew up.

Chattooine. And it's shaved like a penis. Oh. Oh, interest, Tatooine. Tatooine the planet? Tattoo weiner. And, Travis, I'm sorry that when I see. I said Tatoo-Winer, I said it in such a disappointed tone of voice.

Can I try again? Yeah. Tatoo-weener? Yeah! And finally, finally, this Jedi Master may be short, but he's very wide and round. Chota. Yay! Travis Patrick McGrathor, he's back.

He's back with Chota. That was the first one I thought of that sealed the deal in the whole bit. I love Chota, so. Yeah, you do. I'm funny. I'm a high school teacher. Yay. I'm a high school teacher, and I recently started coaching an esports team.

My boss wants the team to be taken seriously as a school sport, but people keep calling us a club. How can I make video games get the same treatment as football or basketball? That's from clear eyes, full thumbs can't lose. Extra info, we mostly compete in Super Smash Brothers and Mario Car. Are you here? Is it fucking melee? Because if not, it's a children's game. If it's not melee, then it is a club, a kids' club.

You win them trophies or medals or whatever you get in these sports? Eventually, hopefully. Yeah, it's a sport. Hey, let's start here. Good first step. Yeah, I mean, they don't give trophies to clubs for any reason. Do you make the kids run sprints? Because that's the thing I know that they do in sports.

Yeah, they do laps in CSGO. We're better. We know enough about esports. Do we know enough about esports to accept that it is a sport? We don't have. Here's a skill level to it. Yeah, of course. That I don't have.

I could join any club. I can't join any sports team because I'm not skilled enough. Therefore, e-sports is a sports team. Here's the difference, man. When you go to the chess club and you've, get really good at chess you don't go into college with gnarled riddled hands yeah sure these poor young athletes are ruining their tendons for us for our enjoyment and that for me if you are ending up in a position where you got to wear a special brace to sleep yeah you're an athlete you know what i mean

that's not a hobby feels very personal all of a sudden j ma'am yeah also wow travis's Travis's chess APMs are also through the fucking roof, man. He moves... I've crushed Kingsen to pawns in my very hands, and I got thrown out of the tournament. You're not allowed to do that, apparently. Can you hire a group of mercenaries to dress up like Space Invaders

and they come into the school to mess stuff up? And who's going to stop them? Gamer... Gamer Club! We're the only ones. with the cheat codes. And then, so Griffin, what you're saying is after that happens. Yeah. After what happens? Because confirmed that I said out loud

what I said. After cyber invaders. Invaders from space? That's not important. Okay. Show up and the, I guess the school to mess things up. And the school says you know who's trained for this. Yeah. Are not the

security. School security is fucking out the back door. Yikes, are those aliens? I'm out of here. Then the gamer Club shows up, don't worry about it. We have the cheek. They abduct, the aliens abducted our greatest warriors, but due to a translation error, that means athletes in their tongue, right?

So they took all the athletes from the school. The amount of school administrators, you're going to have to get in on this plan. Well, Trav, yeah, I mean, they, obviously their boss wants this to be taken seriously as a sport. I feel a lot of hostile energy, like you're not proud of my space invaders coming to school to mess things up, so

we get the gamer club to stop on playing. My next suggestion was pep rally. Dude, we were so close to breaking that story to an extent where we would never have to podcast again. We were about to be, we were about to have the script that would get us out of this fucking... And we supported you through Chewbacca the Duky? We did.

Hey, I'm steering us away from your plan of having mercenaries break into a school. Space invaders, and they're not there to do anything bad. They're just to have to mess things up. Like, throw papers around and stuff and make a big mess at the school. Oh, you didn't say they threw

paper. Are they wearing cool leather, like, They're wearing space invader costumes, Travis. That's why the gamer club is the only one that can stop them. It's a gamer team. Not the club. They're not a club. You're right. I forgot the question.

I know it feels hard to think of them as athletes, but we have to try for the conceit of the question, Griffin. And then when the gamer team stops the space invaders, all the students come out and they're like, you did it. You're athletes now. This idea fucking sucks. You're right, Travis. This is a fucking stupid idea.

mascot. Okay. And it's Mario. I'm with these guys officially. Fuck all the other sports teams. Fuck football. That's cool. He could show up to football games and just make a mess. Throwing papers around. I mess up all the football games.

Oh, that's my homework. Damn. For the playbook. Oh, no. My screensaver. if only there was an e-sports team here to help you use your computer help help my screen i started working at the post office about a year ago i love getting to see all the animals every day but i need a good way to avoid the owners who want to chit-chat how do i politely say i want to pet that dog

and then be on my way that's from going postal for pets in south carolina are you here hell yeah rain to shine that's awesome thank you for coming um if the owner starts to say have you tried saying, like, this is actually just between us? Yeah. This is, we, I've been meaning to talk to them for a while now. Did you actually cross the street and give us a moment? You're going to have to do a lot to undo the kind of, you know, the optics of dogs and postal workers in order to bridge this divide.

If I had a sweet puppers, which I don't. But if I did, I wouldn't want them going anywhere near a post officer. This is actually the only one of the three of us that owns dogs. I'll pull back the curtain a little bit, Griffin. Yeah, thanks. The truth is dogs love postal workers, and it makes us dog owners incredibly jealous. And so we've started, I'm going to get so much trouble for this,

we've started a long campaign to try to convince people. Oh, cool, slander. Yeah, but it's really when the post office worker arrives, my dog gets so excited, and I'm like, no, you love me! What do you think that? And then I attacked the post office worker dressed as my dog. That's what, okay. So when I came over last time and you had a giant dog suit, extremely, extremely lifelike dog suit.

Yeah. And I was like, what's that for? And you were like, uh, don't worry about it. I thought it was for like, you know, conventions and stuff like that. But you're saying it was to pretend to be your own dog to scare postal workers. Yeah. That's awesome, man. you guys know how it's a crime to mess with the mail

I think what fuck oh no shit we gotta get out it's a crying mess with the mail and I think people are nervous about what if you get confused as a mail carrier and you pick up the dog and you start like put it in your bag and then it's mail legally at that point and they can't have it back you know they might ask for the dog back and you're like unfortunately it is now

it's in my bag it's in the bag that makes it mail you're out of your jurisdiction kenneth the mail bag is not part of your house, even if I'm standing in your yard with your dog in my bags. Property Uncle Sam, does the dog have a stamp on it? If you put a stamp on a dog, they will mail it for you. That's the law. To where? Wherever you want.

Wherever you want for one flat rate. Wow, what an amazing bargain. Yeah, at Samson.com, they're going to get you a scale. They're going to let put, it's big enough for your dog. Put your dog on the scale. Mail your dog wherever. All right, thank you so much. Make sure you come back for the second half of our show.

Until then, you can use. the bathroom if you want, and you can buy this poster. We give you permission. You're allowed. Yes, this incredible poster, we signed a bunch of them before the show. Thank you, Cynthia, for this incredible design. And please send in your questions. Also, we have the Palsabor Memorial Canned Food Drive Challenge coin.

All sales go to benefit the Atlanta Community Food Bank. So grab one of those while you're out there, too. We will take a brief break. Please send in your questions for the second half, and we might do them live. Thanks. We'll be right back. It's sadden with you. Hey, everybody. Have you heard about the Internet? It's taking the world by storm.

It's like TV, but everything's on it, and sometimes people will say that they're going to come to your house. Yeah. And occasionally, you see drawings on there that you're confused by. It's scary to be on the Internet with all these people saying that they know where your house is. Luckily, you can make your own safe space, and the space will be a square because you're going to use square space to do it. Griffin, I don't know anything about putting together a website.

I'm kind of a dullard famously. Is there any help there? Are they just going to throw me the friggin' wolves? No, man, you're pretty much boned. Just kidding. Squarespace has all kinds of tools, a whole suite of tools, made by expert designers for you to use to just drag and drop stuff and you make it pretty and you make it functional.

If you sell stuff, they have all the tools you need to sell stuff. And are you taking notes over there? Oh, Justin's just written a note. We're doing this live on stage, and he's written a mean note about me, and now I need my Squarespace to tuck into cutting-edge design tools, everything you need to get your brand going online. Head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dance clown, Justin says, on his little notepad, making me feel... Watch the monkey dance is the organ grinder. returns is crank.

You'd do anything for a dollar, wouldn't you, Griffin? It's embarrassing. Thank you, Squarespace. Thank you, Squarespace, for sponsoring the show. I don't know why Justin has brought this energy to our sponsorship segment. It used to be about the art. That's what my website.

It used to be about the art.com is all about. And what did you use to make that website? Square Space. All right. Justin was backstage, like, I'm just going to walk out there. And Travis and I were like, yeah, sure, man. Actually, Travis said go off King.

I did. So really, that's on me, King. Travis said go off King. And then I forgot when we're supposed to come out. So I just went for it anyway. Yeah, sure. And we could have come on at the same time you did. And we chose not to.

We chose to leave you fucking hanging, dude. Hanging in the dark. That's okay. I don't mind, guys. It's all in good fun, right? Isn't that what they say? Who? They, dude.

They. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-la. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la da da da da da da da dun dun dun dun dun dun i want to munch but i'm sorry about my tone yeah it's been a long day of talking and meeting and greeting i'm not a great voice the symphony hall really carries that up holy shit that squad that really yeah the claris of tone that is offered by this place is not doing me any favors at all. I am not

an oboe. But you all sounded great. And the venue, again, I'm not supposed to be here. I can't be clear enough about that. Sonic is calling on you to save a pumpkin this fall with news. Oh, Sonic the restaurant.

Yeah, Sonic calls on you to save a pumpkin this fall with a new salted caramel coffee, iced coffee, and croissant bites. That's a lot, man. Are you sure, Sonic? That's a lot of shit to put in one thing, Sonic.

Are you sure, Sonic? But what this ad presupposes is every pumpkin spice latte I order is a pumpkin murdered. Yeah, they have to squish one pumpkin for each drink. Send cherry to the back

to kill another one. Yeah, you're killing a pumpkin. You don't think about that, do you? But every time you have a pumpkin dessert, you're actually smashing up a real pumpkin. Yeah, none of you.

you are thinking about our poor pumpkin farmers that have to kill their precious pumpkin, Starbucks rolls up and says, we're taking them. And they say, no, we grew these as friends. Every fall, pumpkins carry the weight of the season. They're carved, spiced, and turned into everything from candles to air fresheners. That's a latte work for a gourd. That's good shit, Sonic, I get it. But once again, am I supposed to feed? you bad for pumpkins? Or anything for pumpkins, yeah. I feel ambivalence for pumpkins.

They're there. I should mention also the dateline of this story is Atlanta, Georgia, by the way. Sonic, is Sonic a local company to Atlanta, Georgia? A hometown favorite? Maybe whatever. We could get data out here to talk about how to order food at Sonic.

Okay. This year... You all did a great job with that, by the way. You basically did what we do, which is like, yeah. This year, Sonic is giving pumpkins a break by introducing a new salted caramel taffy, iced coffee, and salted caramel croissant bites. So authentic. So authentic.

It's like I'm in France. When I look at those, I think, oh, la, la, Paris. Bonjour, I'd like a taste of home. Bonjour, I'd like a taste of my home country. To drive the point home, Sonic is debuting a tongue-in-cheek PSA. Oh, thank God. Starring filmmakers, comedians, internet personalities, and podcast hosts, Alexandra Madison and John Booth.

Shit, I thought it was us. I did too. And this is it. They interrupt the pumpkin overload to inform fans that Fall has a new flavor hero in Save a Pumpkin, sip-a-salted caramel, iced coffee. Absolutely. The idea that you would title a TikTok is, is fucking unfathomable to me.

The idea that a TikTok would have a name as it like, this is, I present Le Bicyquel. Like, no. Also, I think, I think, I assume it's supposed to be a play on like, save a horse ride a cowboy. Yeah.

But they added so many syllables to it. The spot. This is once again, one of those examples where clearly the original pitch was like, save a pumpkin, sip a coffee. And they said, but I don't think that's clear enough.

No. Can we add in? so many words that it ruins the original intention of the bed. The spot follows the pair as they remind fans that pumpkins deserve a better fate than becoming a seasonal treat or something more extreme like a body wash

or deodorant. We need to let our pumpkins see the summer. That's all they want. I know you're thinking, God, this sounds funny. And let's, you be the judge. Hmm. Is that a pumpkin? Please.

You know, I haven't been super emotional this pregnancy. Just been feeling really chill and relaxed. Pumpkins have been through enough. We need to save the pumpkins, John. She's been watching those animal rescue ads from the early 2000s. I think they inspired her. We all need to do our part. We do?

Yes, we do. So we partnered with Sonic to bring you this important message. Every fall, innocent pumpkins are just kidnapped from their homes, carved up, gutted, and turned into random things. Candles, pumpkin-flavored coffees, shampoo. Enough is enough. And that's why we need a new fall flavor. A salted caramel toffee fall flavor.

With every salted caramel toffee iced coffee from Sonic, you too can be part of the movement to save pumpkins from their tragic fates as a coffee flavor. Of course I think this is an important cause. Help us spread the word. Together with Sonic, we can save the pumpkins. All right, all right I know what you all are thinking

This is weird That it's making fun of some pretty serious Like ads like this But it's also poorly acted Travis Listen Travis is right And the point is

The reason I wanted to do this And read the press release And show you this video is And I do realize This is sort of whatever the inverse of a self-fulfilling prophecy is, but why not us, Sonic? Yeah, I mean, just like, it's just like,

why not us? You know, like, I don't know me that. We could have been stupid about this and a way more convincing way. Yeah, we would have just, to ensure pumpkins actually do get support outside of the humorous campaign and I could hear

in the room the way you were all sort of laughing quietly to yourselves so hard that you could hear a fucking pin drop. Yeah, a lot of, a lot of real intellectual juckles out there. You all were laughing so hard silently that I was absolutely second-guessing including it in our real comedy show. Like I had really deep-six the whole exercise. I would like to pitch on spec this, this ad campaign from the three of us. Hi, we're the McRoy brothers. And fuck caramel. We're going to eat all the caramel you got on your shelf until

there's nothing left. God bless Sonic for doing their part to eliminate this vile, sticky non-chocolat. Can I say it takes a bold ad-exact to say I've envisioned an ad where what we're posing is that thinking about buying our thing makes you look stupid and insane.

I'm just saying if you have to find people that are related that no one's ever heard of where you have to invent a bunch of job titles to make it sound like they're real people, turn to us. That's what we're here for. Please, just Let it, anyway.

These seem like normal people pretending to be stupid. Hey, guess what? Get the real thing right here. To ensure pumpkins actually do get support outside of the humorous campaign. Oh, so we're talking about the advocacy already. Quote,

full flavors don't have to mean pumpkin spice on repeat. With the new salted caramel toffee, ice coffee, and salted caramel caramel croissant bites, Sonic is stepping in to give pumpkins a much-needed break. All while giving guests. Yeah, they're just, they're not like hardworking execs trying to have it all. No.

They want them to live forever. Never. Don't tell. They don't know the secret. Sonic stepping in, all while giving guests something just as craveable, said Barb Williams, the vice president of category management of Sonic. Cocaine. Salton caramel, tofu, iced coffee. So, man, it's so crazy.

So good to say. Salted Caramel Toffee ice coffee. What's the opposite of iambic pentameter? Because that's... I am not pentameter. Salted caramel coffee, iced coffee. Coffee, coffee. Salpy toffee coffee is the best.

Salty, salty coffee toffee. Sloppy boy coffee for sloppy boys. Sonny's sloppy coffee toffee from Sonny. Crosan, sloppy bobby, bobbing. Salted caramel, tofu, iced coffee. I'm on fire. Salted caramel, coffee, ice coffee is the perfect sweet and creamy pick me up. And when paired with croissant bites, it's the ultimate fall duo for guests who want their daily boost

with a side of indulgence and diarrhea for several days in a row. It's so wild this ad campaign for another reason, which is, hey, Sonic, you can never do pumpkin shit again because how hypocritical would that be? Also, you know they had lawyers in there saying, can we say daily boost without clarifying what that means at all? Or does that put us on the hook legally in some way? No, no, no, no, there's no law in it. Okay, great. Yeah, it's your daily boost of salt. So thank you so much to Sonic for your pioneering work.

We are going to turn to you now, the audience. We have asked you to send in your questions and we intend to answer some of them. We have a microphone that is, I believe, over here, stage right, house left. If we call your name and your seat number, if you want to approach the microphone, give us your name, your pronouns, if you would like,

and your question, and we will do our thing. We're going to call some folks down. There's someone who sent in an email that really tickled some of us backstage but I don't know if they wanted to actually do it as part of this part of the show. But if your name is Katie with a Y and you had a

comment about Justin's outfit that you wanted to share maybe without the helmet Yeah, Justin's outfit in a certain configuration and you want to come up to the microphone and say it out loud, that would bring me a great deal of joy as well. Let's clarify what Justin said backstage.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just, it's up to them. Hi. Hi, Katie. You just want me to say what I typed exactly? I would love you to just read your email verbatim because I think it's really strong and good. Read the whole thing, please, though, if you don't mind.

Hell yeah, so subject line, fun show. The email. Justin looks like Donald Duck without the speed racer helmet on. Notting emoji slash positive. Thank you so much, Katie. Thank you, Katie. That's right. You're correct.

It's so good, Katie, and you've brightened my day tremendously. This is like the eighth, I think, of the Thunder Drive tour in which Justin's been wearing this outfit. And you said that in your email, and it opened my eyes to a new dimension that I hadn't seen before. This is actually, no, I'm not kidding. the final appearance of this outfit I hope you to enjoy it

love something brand new next time Katie Katie I was gonna ask if you wanted to say that to my face but I guess you answered that already kind of So thank you so much for your time Katie this wasn't a trap You did excellent

It was like so funny You nailed it Justin It said slash positive No I know it was so good Katie Thank you so much Thank you Katie Thank you

Donald Duck is my favorite guy Thank you so much. He's great. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Kay. Everybody, big a hero.

A applause for Katie. Thank you. Hello. Hey there. So I sent in two questions. I'm not sure which one. What is your name? Sammy Jay.

Sorry. Sammy Jay. You had one about hockey. Yeah. Okay. So I'm a hockey goalie and the games go like an hour and a half. And sometimes a girl's got a piss. Yeah.

And. Go piss, girl. Yeah. Well, hold on. Now hold on. So when you're a player, like it's whatever you can just get off but when you're a goalie

you're the only person right so how do I sneak off the ice to go potty I'm not a big I'm not a big sports person but is it is there maybe you can appeal to good taste like it would be a poor taste for you to score while I'm otherwise occupied yeah so hopefully everyone will do the right thing

while I'm gone yes and just sort of play amongst yourselves in a peaceful no shooting no shooty just passing practice And don't worry, it's just piss. I'm only going to be gone a little bit. So my question had a little bit more to do with stealth. Right.

Yeah, okay, so... You're going to need a mannequin. If you... Wait, if you got the pads, maybe can you sneak out of the pads in a way where they say basically stationary? Like a cicada.

Yeah, leave it behind like a shell and you slip out of the back. There's no way. Until someone hits it with a puck and it just shatters. Oh, no, God. Sammy J. No, no.

I often, when I find myself in a scenario, like when I'm in a plane and it hits turbulence and I start to get worried or I think about like complaining about something and I call myself down by saying there's no way I'm the first person to have this problem. In all of hockey,

there's no way you're the first person and be like, oh shit, I got to pee. There's no way. This is why on Canadian Dragons din there have probably been three people who have been like sharks you all know how tough it is when you got to take a piss and you're the goalie so here's my new thing you just pee right in your hockey pants we've already got the Canadians and all the different teams are in they put their brands on the different pee pants that we got the do you I'm looking for $80 you'd have

50% of the company I need to help at the level of hockey in which you play are you ever pulled in the final minutes of the game as some sort of last ditch gambit occasionally Okay. Now, have you ever considered asking the coach to do that in the middle of the second period while you're up by one goal? Be like, I know it's unconventional. We're up by one and it's the middle of the second period. But I think it would be strategically so surprising to the other team to be like, yo, where did their goalie go? There's an extra person out here? Crazy. Next time your team has a power play, you should just be like, let me do the right thing. I'm going to leave two.

if they're going I'm going if you are put in the penalty box and I assume there's not a bathroom in there can you just keep going I'll be back in two to five minutes are you saying keep using the bathroom what are you saying?

No I'm saying you just keep walking out through the penalty box into the hallway where there are bathers they've figured that out because I'm pretty sure if the goalie gets a penalty someone else has to sit it right yeah So they really don't want you to piss, huh?

Fucked up, honestly. I don't know about hockey, period, but can players call timeouts? If you're loud enough, I guess. There you go. I'm just saying a goalie, especially if they're coming towards you on a good drive, and you're just like, time.

Now, we're taking a break. You can pause a game as the goalie, and I've seen it done many times because I'm sort of a hockey guy, where if your skate breaks or your helmet comes off, everyone's like, stop immediately everything. Some of the goalie shit's messed up. Now, to get a bathroom break out of that,

you're going to have to take one of your skates fully off and throw it into the crowd. Throw it somewhere where it's going to take them a while to find it and be like, I don't know, guys. I got hit real funny. Anyways, while you go look for that, I will go piss. Okay, here's a pitch.

Catch the puck. I've seen it happen. Keep holding on to it as you go to the bathroom. Yeah. Then bring the puck back and drop it. Because they can't keep going. That's the only bug they have. Maybe you let five or six get past you

and then start whispering about mercy rule. Like, certainly, I feel like we're hitting into mercy rule territory, don't you all? I feel like I've got to wrap this up. You may be the team's only goalie, but you could certainly ask, like, anyone even want to try this? It's so fucking hard.

They shoot them right at you. It's terrified. It hurts and it's scary every time. Why is this net so big? Does that? I'm only this big. Does that help? We'll see.

Thank you, Samantha. Very, very fair, Sammy J. Very fair. Hello. Hi, I'm Kellan. Hi, Kellyn. How's he, him. Hey.

Some Jelen heads in the audience today. So my question is, how many grapes can I eat at a grocery? store over the course of a year before it is considered stealing. Yeah. So, Kellen won. This is

important. Wait, this is important. His fans are not happy about that, Griffin. The Kellen felons are displeased of you right now. Are you asking like how many just in a normal course of eating grapes at the grocery store?

Or how many can you get away? with. Yeah, actually, that's a great question. Are you looking for some guardrails here, or are you looking for a challenge? It's a challenge. Right. If I just eat one, it's not stealing. Oh, really?

It's definitely not. Okay, I will say this. It's not stealing? One is trying them for buying, try before you buy. The great grocery store rules that we all abide by, try before you buy. Three is pushing it. But three is definitely pushing it. What the fuck of both of you talking about?

Kellen. I couldn't walk up to a watermelon and take a big bite out of it to be like, I went to see how all the watermelons are. Well, I didn't say how many watermelons can I eat? Hey, Kellan. Hey, Callan, cool it. This isn't about you anymore. This is about Justin.

You guys never been to a pick and mix? You're not going to sneak one out? Listen. No! Also, hold on. Wait, Kellan, is your question to us? Seriously, is there a number between one and three? It's like one in ten.

You just said three. Way to move the goalposts on us, Kellan, because I was about to fucking slam dunk that one right in the answer hole. Kellan, I want you to imagine you're standing at, I guess, a big bin of grapes in your mind, and there's a security guard two feet away from you looking at you,

and I want you to honestly tell me how many grapes you feel comfortable eating in front of that security guard. If I'm the security guard That's not what I said, Kellyn! Please don't yell at Kellyn. The Kellynne fell in this will be honest with you. Now, Kelly, I'm yelling at the Kellyn.

Now, Kellyn, imagine the grapes are anything you want in the world and the security guard is Jesus Christ, and that was our entire childhood. Okay, Kellan, I had, okay, are the grapes from different bunches? And are you going, hmm, mm-hmm, you know, my name. I knew. Now listen. If you

have two from one bunch, that's bad. If you have two from different bunches and you make a yuck face after each one, then I would just assume your try before you buy the number one rule of grocery. Yeah. We all abide by and love. Try before you buy, guys. Yeah, for sure.

If I go up to the counter and I have an open box. Don't cheer for him because he keeps saying it. If I... He can say this any time as he wants. It's not true. If I go to the store at my local Kroger, right? Because they're union employees. And I go to the Kroger and I buy some triscuits that are the ones that are

olive oil and black pepper and they're fucking outrageous, right? And I open them and I look at the person who is checking me out. And I'm like, hey, stop checking me out. I got to go buy this stuff. And then I go to the place where you buy this stuff. And when I'm buying it, they're like, hey, you open this. If I look at them, I'm like, trying before you buy. Yeah.

They're probably going to get it. Yeah. But, Justin, I would argue that what you've just done is disproving your own point because it involves two steps. Yeah. Try before you buy. Are you buying all the grids? You've opened the trisets.

You're not opening every box of triscus to find the right box of triscus. Kellan, you ain't buying these grapes, are you? Nah. Kellyn, get out of here, Kellyn. No, Kellyn, don't get out of here. Kelly, get out of here. Kellyn I have to really plant

a flag here and say that the grocery store has designated try before you buy sections where the people are like, hey, do you want to try this tiny little cocktail weiner? That's a try before you buy zone. You don't walk up to them and you're like, what you're doing

is so superfluous. Kellan, I have a question for you. Do you get to choose what picture they put up on the wall of don't let this person in anymore? I hope it's not, you just mouth full of grapes, like also, Kellen, the answer

might be time-based and not quantity-based. The most you can jam in 15 seconds. If I told you guys you had to eat 10 grapes in 10 minutes at your local grocery store, would you eat

them quickly or slowly and sneakily. Drop them on the ground and then blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and then I stand up real quick like oh I can't buy these grapes they're ground grapes and the security guard slash Jesus is like that's okay. I would eat them quickly with my cheeks loaded so that if they tried to stop me I can push on my cheeks real quick and they'd shoot out like a machine gun. Would you be deliberate or would you try to cloak your actions?

I would loudly announce not this bunch. Okay, good. Gross. Gross. Kellan, does that help? Yeah, I love you guys. Thank you so much, Colin. We love you as well.

What a hoot. Hello. Hello, brothers. Hi. Hi. I am Corbin, they, them, and I'm trying very hard to be faster than fear right now. You're doing amazing, Corbyn. You came up here, Corbyn.

All you need is 10 seconds of insane courage. You know who said that? Matt Damon, and we bought a zoo. Yes, true. They saw that clip literally just moments ago. It's a good bit. It is a great bit. Corbyn, your question, please. My question verbatim was, I broke my toe trying to kick a pine cone in front of my friend. How do I recover from this? Corby, I loved this question before, but now that I met you, I love it even more.

I have follow-up questions, but I want to say sometimes we pick a question, and then I hear the actual human being deliver it and a word pops out to me that suddenly is the most important word in that question and for me right now that word is try yeah so Corbyn can you paint us a word picture of the scene please so me and my friend we're walking across our college campus going to get dinner

I see a pine cone I'm like I'm gonna kick that wait sorry did you say it out loud I might have quite honestly Hey, Corbyn telling the story is the most relaxed I've been all day. Actually, yeah. I'll just chill. So I go to try to kick this pine cone, and I misjudge the distance, and I kick the ground instead. Okay.

So it wasn't like a super heavy pine cone. No, it was not. Damn, Corbyn, I'll be honest. That's where a lot of my interests lie in the question. I was ready for, I tried to kick a pine cone, and it turned out it was a fire hydrant. Yeah. and I just had a bad perspective. Did you say something or did you just want to be fucking Dennis the Minus for a second?

Yeah, were you trying to kick it into Mr. Wilson's like picnic basket? I don't know you that while. Are you just a little stinker? What's the deal? I don't know what I was doing quite honestly. Corbyn, no, don't let Justin make you feel strange. The human desire when you see a pine cone right in your way. When your brain just goes, what the fuck is that doing there?

that is a that is a what is it avoid conf like human test you have passed it and what you did is the equivalent of a real human being quick time event where you were supposed to hit circle and you hit x you were fucking riu hazuki with a roundhouse kick coming at your head like bleep beep beep beep what did you have a second even a millisecond where you second guessed yourself as you were about to deliver the kick like i shouldn't be doing this or were you fully committed. I think I was fully committed. Yeah, I think otherwise you wouldn't have broken your toe. What was the... Can you tell me what the next 10 seconds of your life was like after... And I'd love to... The 10 minutes after that would be great, too. Agony and shouting swear words, quite honestly. Was your friend like, hey, Corbyn, what the fuck

were you doing? Yeah, yeah. Did you do what... Listen, I've been a white man for a long time. did you try going it clearly moved because it's that kind of placing the blame on anything else

it makes you feel better and bigger and stronger when you told your friend I was trying to did you explain to your friend I was trying to kick that pine cone but I missed and I kicked the ground Oh yeah 100%

Was your friend like oh I get it or what did they say? Were you explaining through tears like I was just A little bit probably yeah Corby that's rough Man, Corby, that's so rough. Have you thought about moving?

Yeah, I'm fine, no. When you say how to recover from this, do you mean from a physical or emotional standpoint? We won't be able to help with either, but... You know, it's nice, though, that fate gave you this chance to re-examine your friendship with this person and see how important to you they are. Listen, they're here with me tonight.

Fuck! I love that. Corvin, let me say this. I moved the pine cone when you weren't looking. I did it. I did a little bit of psychokinesis, just to punk you. I've never broken a bone in my body. I think I might be unbreakable.

You heard it here first. That was my suspicion, knowing you your whole life has I have, Griffin, that you might be unbreakable. Never had a sick day in his? What if Griffin is untenable? It's too mean. Corbyn, this is a kick-ass story, as evidenced by the fact... Not a kick-cone story. No.

It's a kick-ass story, Corby the fact that we just had to hear it here at our live show tonight. This is going to serve you so well at so many corporate icebreaker events. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Youth group meet and greets. And what's wonderful is memory can be very malleable, and the more we tell stories over time, the more they can change. But now this one, it's recorded in a podcast, Corby. This is forever. Yeah, it's gonna be interesting

when my mom listens to this episode because I still haven't told her that I broke my toe yet. Hey, Corbyn's mom, I moved the plane and it's my fault. But not in a legally liable way. Yeah. Corbyn, are you okay now

or are you still recovered? I mean, this literally happened like two days ago. Oh, okay, so you're not okay now. I mean, it's fine. Will you ever dance again? Are you fucking Wolverine? I want to see that issue of accent where Wolverine breaks us to try to kick a bike up in front of like cyclops and he's like, don't tell anyone, Bob.

Just shut up for three minutes, Bob. I need a moment over here behind the street. Don't look at me, Bob. Corbyn, I don't know if we've helped you, but you've helped us a lot and made us feel very human in this moment. And I thank you so much for that. Thank you, Corbin. Thank you, Corby. Was it like that?

A really big pine cone, though. Paul just had that fucking picture on his desktop, dirty dog. Wait, no, go back. Why is the second smaller pine cone in that picture? Yeah. Uh, hello. Hi. I'm Gideon.

Hi, Gideon. Hi, Gideon. So, um, I have a co-worker who has a pet owl. and like the one day that I was off like she brought it into work and I used to want to be an ornithologist as a kid growing up like is that an owl doctor?

Study birds just birds in general. Thank you so much for using the exact terminology I needed to understand that. Study birds you say. Yeah. Not owl doctor, but study birds. Right, right, right.

That's called an owlologist. Is it the pellets? Because I fucking get it, man. It's crazy. My children have asked me to buy those pellets at the store. No, but I'm buying, I'm probably a weird store. Yeah. So you missed the owl.

Yes. And it sucks so much. Like, my boss was showing me all the pictures she took when it was there. And apparently, like, I work in the adjacent. an office to my boss and like she kept the owl in my boss's office for the entire day.

Oh, man. Did it feel pointed? Is that the problem? You feel like they waited until they knew you weren't going to be there? And they said today's the day the owl's coming in. Fuck Gideon. Is that the problem? I didn't think that was actually it. That was a joke. No, no, no.

She's really nice. Are you just trying to tell us about this very sad Ray Bradbury short story no so I've asked her to like bring it back in because I really want to meet it and apparently it was really

nice for an owl yeah you asked her and she did she's like oh maybe one day that sucks that sucks can I say this blew this whole mystery like to another level

I own several pets the littlest bit of encouragement it would take for me to bring my pet back to the office? Yeah. Can I read the exact wording of the email getting, because it's like a poem riddle. How do I

convince my co-worker to bring her owl back to the office? In my mind, you did something upon the first meeting of the owl, and you were like, hey, listen, co-worker. I love another shot. I know I fucked up

I know I fucked up last time. That's so interesting. I fed the owl, all of my keys, one the time and I know now that was fucking wrong. Yeah, I will still say though the owl should know not to eat kings you should train your owl better than that for sure. I thought that it was more

Griffin a scenario where it's like, you brought the owl in and I didn't get enough. Yeah. I, listen, I know at the time, I seemed like I was like, and that's enough owl but I can't stop thinking about it. The idea of owning an owl seems crazy

to me. They're so wise. like, and big and weird. They're so wise and big and weird. It's like owning a wizard. Like, what? Gideon, have you thought about releasing a lot of voles and moles and stuff into the office?

Oh, that's good, Trout. I work at a jewelry store. Perfect. Those bitches love rings. Voles? Voles love rings. Can you refrain from saying bitches at all, but especially when referring to Volves?

sir there are several parts of my lawn that i can't walk on without sinking into them and i don't care right i get i get you i get you i get you i would like you the next time you go in the office i need you to start talking about your four incredible boys and then every time you go in for the next few months start talking about your four incredible sons your four great boys and then start talking about how into owls they are right and then you tell them hey i want to bring my four incredible boys in tomorrow would you please bring the owl and they'll be like who's going to let down four incredible kids right And then they come in with the owl. Sike, it's too late, though.

You don't have sons. Wait, why four boys? That's so crazy. Gideon, I'm guessing you've not already laid the groundwork for your four amazing sons. I have made it very clear that I'm never having kids. And also I'm a lesbian. Well, because you already have four. Hey, Gideon, to be fair, that's why these four amazing boys were such a surprise.

Because like, who saved who, you know? It's like, wow, these four boys, what a miracle. They love owls so much. And then you reveal it's four young owls you've adopted who need someone to look up to. I don't think you bring an owl into the jewelry store unless it is part of some sort of heist. I think. Oh, yeah. Disagree.

Security measure. Think about it, Griffin. you're going in, you're going to steal some jewelry and then you look up and there's a big owl on top of the case and you're like, yeah, you know what? Fuck, I'm going to go. Let me hit you with this scenario.

Travis, you get your pet owl back from your office which is the jewelry store, the owl poops. You get out a little knife and cut it open and uh-oh, it's breakfast at Tiffany's up in there. Wait, hold on. That's good. Are you saying, Griffin, warring owls, security owl, thief owl.

Yes. Bring in your own owl, Gideon. Now listen, I don't know where to get owls besides the forest. If they brought the owl in just to eat jewelry and shit it out later, they may wish you would stop asking about the owl. I would start to worry for your safety at a certain point Gideon, they'd be like, I don't know why. Gideon keeps asking about the fucking owl. Does that help, Gideon? So much. Thank you so much, Gideon. And thank you, Atlanta, for coming to our live episode.

of my brother, my brother, and me. Hey, this might surprise you, but we're going to be in this very room again tomorrow. Yes, we are doing the Adventure Zone versus Popeye, DM'd by our dad, Clint McElroy. I don't want to oversell it, but if you don't have tickets to that show,

we have an incredible new technological innovation that is going to allow you in the audience to see our dice rolls on this very screen. We're, we've really, really, we've really modernized the format. We've really caught up with the times. I'm saying you'll see the dice on there, right? You're not going to have to stand up to look.

They'll be on the screen. In past Taz live shows, we've made everyone line up and come look at every dice roll we've done. Now we're going to put a bit on the screen and it's going to be so kick-out. Not everyone. Not everyone. Not everyone. But seriously, thank you all for coming. Thank you to the Atlanta Symphony for having us.

This place is absolutely gorgeous. I think this is like our third time. I think maybe our third time being here. We have posters for sale. Thank you, Cynthia, for the kick-ass design. We signed a bunch of them. There may still be some signed out there. And also we still have the Palsaboran Memorial Can Food Drive.

All sales for which go to benefit the Atlanta Community Food Bank. And we're doing a bunch of other like panels and stuff over a DragonCon. If you go to bit. Ly slash MacRoy Tours, you can find all of the events listed there. Thank you to Paul. Thank you to our dad, Clint McRoy. Thank you to Amanda, our business manager. Thank you so much to Rachel, our editor and audio engineer,

who also used a seam ripper to cut a small hole in my jumpsuit so I can get in my pocket without going in the front. So huge. Thank you, Rachel. You're a lifesaver. If I, and I, if I could say something sincerely, I, DragonCon is incredible. and there is so much incredible stuff happening here every single night

and all day. And I really, really appreciate everyone here deciding to come here and hang out with us in opposed to all the other amazing things you'd be doing. Thank you so much. Yeah, seriously, genuinely. You all have been fucking amazing. Thank you so much. I hope you'll do it again tomorrow.

Thank you to Montaigne for the use for our theme song. My life is better with you. How about this final fear to reallow that someone would like to be faster than this in the year of our lord 20 thunder drive let's go this year i will be faster than my fear of switchfoot's song dare you to move my name is justin mackleroy my name's Travis mackerel i'm griffin mackleroy my brother my brother be kiss your dad square on the lips It's better, it's better with you

My life Ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you Is it true? Ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life! Ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network

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