My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 781: Jolly Green Gundam

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

We’re in the scary months, no thanks to Greek emperor Augustus. But it’s the perfect time to cozy up and exchange silly jokes about supernatural creatures like Mobius, Manbat, and The Rockscar.Suggested talking points: Batapp, Dracula Hates Sans Serifs, Jeff Boy-R-Dee, Acrustus Caesar, The Traving MachineEquality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed. It's rapping. A precious friendship I could have never seen

What was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life It feels live Life It's better It's better with you

My life Ah It's better It's better with you This is true It's better, it's better with two My way Oh, it's better with you

Hello everybody Welcome to my brother, my brother Me and advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy What's up, Trave Nation? It's me your middleist brother, Travis Big Dog, Vroom, Vroom, Woof, Wolf, Maceroy. What's up, Trav Nation?

Glad to be here. Thanks for having me, sweet baby brother, 30 under 30, Griffin McRoy. Guys, I've been having a lot of trouble sleep, lately and it's just occurred to me that now that we're in the spooky month maybe I'm a teen wolf I don't think we are in October September September is pretty scary too yeah yeah but that newspeg of like now we're in the spooky month it's mid to no it's spooky months spooky months so we all know you count you count September is one of the scary ones yeah man November September October November, the three scary ones. Even the beginning of December

can be like scary, snowy, Nordic, vampire, let the right one in. December, January, February, the cold ones, March, April, May, the spring ones. June, July, August, the hot ones. Yeah. I agree with this seasonal thing. I've been

Mr. Let's use the months of separators from the beginning, but I don't, this is just fall. It's not the spooky months. Like you can't have three spooky months. Okay, I'm sorry, Justin, our bats trying to kill you in all the other months? Or just the spooky ones? Thank you.

You know, Justin, some thousands of years ago, scientists aren't sure when, a guy named Augustus Caesar said, you know what? Ten months? No more. I'm going to add in months for me. Yes. And my dad, so I'm adding in July and August. And everybody said, okay, cool, man. We've numbered the months.

September is the 7th. is the 8th, November is the 9th, December is the 10th, so you'll go at the end, and he said, no, no, no, no. I'm going to jam them in the middle there and really fuck up the whole numbering system. And everybody said, okay, cool, man. So I think, Justin, we can do whatever the fuck we want. It's all made up pretend. Yeah. Animals don't know the months, Justin. Animals don't know the month, except for bats, because they do know when are the good months to kill you. Groundhogs know when February is. Yes. How do bats know when to change into Dracula's? It's not a Dracula thing.

Dracula's make-believe. And saying that is really making light of the threat of that bats want to kill you and sit in October. Also, Justin, to be fair, Dracula turns into bats. Bats don't turn into Dracula. It would be crazy if a bat turns into Dracula. Did you have a thing? Did you have a thing?

Did you have a thing? I said my thing. We're doing it, man. That's your whole thing. That was your whole. It was kind of a conversation starter ice break. But we found a lot of rich veins, right? Like, I want to talk about bat Dracula, a bat who turns into a man and is then like,

Because, like, he doesn't understand how to operate a body. He doesn't know how to walk. He doesn't know how to pee. He doesn't know how to fuck. My favorite Batman villain is Manbat. Because I bet when he ran into him, he was like, fuck, they got me. They said one thing that I can't do, they saw the inverse of me, and they got all the parts of me that are a man. And Man Bat's parents very much alive is the other thing.

We don't talk about that enough. He has extra parents. we were in Austin during one of the months where bats are allowed to kill you if we have been too close to that bridge come sundown guys we would have been absorbed in the cloud

and turned into bones like Mobius a lot like that I don't think that was his name was it was Morbius wasn't it doesn't matter no one cares to spoil the end of Morbius I'm sorry everybody

he gets sucked into bass and turned into bones no he turns into five bats and then clouds a guy who turns into bones That's how Moribia sends. Okay. Man, that movie sounds really good.

It's pretty cool. Five bats isn't enough to hide sort of the peeling and stripping. If the bats are big enough, I guess. No, they don't, it's not their job to hide the scary thing that they're doing. It's their job to eat. Yep. Do you think Dracula's ever compare the size of bat they turn into when they turn into bats? I bet if you're a Dracula who turns into a really big bat when you turn,

You get to brag a lot to your friends. Yeah. I mean, for me, the big thing is how many bats do you turn into? Because I want you to be able to turn into a few of them. Okay, would you rather turn into five little bats or one big bat? Yeah, good question. Do you want to be a swarm of bats or do you want to turn into one big bat? Swarm of bats is weird because I am still controlling them.

So how is that? How am I up in? Hi, mine. Okay. Okay, but if one of my swarm of bats gets killed and I turn back is like my finger gone, Yep. Yeah. Oh, bummer.

It's actually how you've been... But if the one bat gets killed, like, you know what I'm saying? If the one bat gets killed, it's you, you will die. Yeah. I don't think that's true. I do think there is a... He gets a second chance if he dies as a bat. He kind of like, he comes back.

No, I think if you die in the bat, you die in real... I don't think so, man. I think... Okay, would you rather turn into a swarm of bats or one big bat in an armored mecks suit that protects you from violence. Yeah. Do you know what the, if we were doing a Dracula movie, do you know it would be sweet? Like, if he turned into a swarm of bats and they were like, fuck, he's one of those.

But then he like reconforms into one big bat. So he's like got three forms. There's like big bat, swarm, and then Dracula, just as a gentleman going about his day. The regular Dracula who could like do banking and stuff. Yeah. A lot of monsters can't do that. He has an app. He has an app that lets him pick

which kind of bats he wants to turn into. Mm-hmm. Is bad app? That's a cool modern Dracula for me. Yeah, dude. Sorry. In this, so he has an app. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is called... Bat, app. With no A. It's called Pete. It's just, pt. And he presses, he gets to pick how many bats, the size of the bats, whether he wants to control all of them,

or have someone else steer some of the other bats. At first, I would need to be one bat. I cannot be both a bat and split into like five minds. Yeah. I can't take the pressure of both at once. I bet when you first... I want a micro-transaction for additional bats. When you're a vampire and you first learn to turn into a swarm of bats,

I bet there's a couple times in the beginning where you're still figuring it out and you turn back, but all your bats were in the wrong place when you turn back. Yeah, man. And, like, your heads on your knee and stuff, and you're like, oh no you gotta turn back into a swarm of bats and try again

yeah the other like really important thing is you can't stay a cloud of bats for over 60 minutes or else you get stuck as a cloud of bats forever

yeah yeah and that means something if you stay a cloud of bats long enough eventually the hand bats are like really we're the most important

ones if you think about it and then the brain bats are like well if you think about a different way you can't think about it without the brain bats and then they start like

there's infighting. Well, they start to have their own dreams and desires and stuff. That's when it's sentience is the, that's when you got to worry. I've never thought about vampires. That's what happened in, that's what happened in my left foot. Yes. The left foot gainsentians and became a bat and left.

That's true. That's what happened in the film. You didn't watch it closely enough. The original name of the film. I didn't watch it at all, Justin. So that might be the problem. The original name of the film was my lousy left foot's off again on another adventure. Flapping his leathery wings

The original title was My Angry Bat Yes And I'll tell you The amazing thing is Daniel Day Lewis was so committed That he learned how to turn Into a swarm of bats for that movie

Everyone always mentions Daniel No one puts any respect on Brenda Fricker's name For her job For her turning out of him What the fuck are you talking about Griffin? We've done nothing but put respect on Brenda Fricker's day for a decade We have made space

We've made as much space For Grigger as we can This is an advice show I want to talk about more vampire vultrons. Same, same, same. Do you guys think that vampires and Dracula, they put a little too much lore on it? Like, they kept putting more and more and more and more stuff. And then, like, they just never stopped until they realized they had gone too far.

I think for me, if I'm a vampire and I'm watching the whole thing develop. Yes. I think for me, the garlic is where I'm like, okay. That's crazy. We've gone far enough. Thank you. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just a regular garlic.

Like just regular on garlic. I bet that sucks too because, like, yeah, maybe Dracula just didn't like garlic in his food. He wasn't a fan. And it became a thing. So now, like, when they go to monster parties, everybody keeps the garlic out of everything. But, like, damn, the vampire is like, I like, guys, you do not need to make space for this. The whole thing about, like, they stab, the only way to kill you is stab you in the heart and then you turn into a big pile of dust. What the fuck does that even, what are you talking about turn into dust?

Nothing works like that. You know what I mean? nothing works like. What would happen to his body that would reduce it to dust? That's crazy. Where does the water? Where's the water in his body?

Well, that's why they're always drinking blood. That would be cool. They're so dehydrated. Yeah. That would be cool as if when you spiked a vampire it turned into dust and cloud. It was just like instantly like or a gush, like a sudden expulsion of all liquid in the body

just a fosh and then ash remain. Like what happens with the fremen? When you kill the fremen and the water just prints on. And yeah. But then it's mud. If it's raining into the ash, then it's mud, and he's just going to goop back out of it like. Yeah. That's a good point.

Reborn. I didn't think about that, guys. That's a good point. I bet that vampires were super jazzed when modern mirrors were invented. Because the whole thing with not seeing their reflection is because mirrors used to be backed with silver. But now we don't use silver anymore. And so vampires are like, oh, yes, I'm not the vampire. You can see me in the mirror.

Oh, that's interesting. So you should have a silver mirror with you if you want to spell. Oh, yeah, at all times. I think you'll also probably get poisoned from it, I imagine. A lot of that stuff did that. How does a vampire sort of separate out

when he's like reading a book and there's like lowercase teas in it? And he sees those and he's like, those are fine. But then he sees a Christian cross and is like, no. That's why he hates San Seraph so much. Yeah. He needs the seraphs.

He will only read the seraphs. Like, he needs the little on the T's, the little hat. A little bit of a, like, a fun thing. He needs it. Because if it's sans-sariff. Yeah. That's why all vampire books are printed in Wing Dings. That's good, Travis.

Thanks. I don't want to do this show today. I just want to goof around with Travis making vampire jokes to us. But not me. That's fun. No, you and me get to just sit in our. comfy little couch and Travis gets to make vampire jokes too. Well, he's just not going to, we're not going to make him do a whole hour.

No, and the problem, Griffin, the problem with vampire jokes is they all suck. I want to just cuddle up and have really actually great, Tram. That one's actually quite good. It is weird that we were so afraid of vampires, right? And there's like such a, there's such a body of work about vampires are scary. But like, if you take a step back from vampires, think about it for one second. Vampires got to sleep in a box Sun kills them

You know exactly where they are Like eight to ten hours every day They're asleep with a lot of dirt Yeah they're asleep in a coffin Sunlight kills them And if they want to come to your house You have to explicitly ask them to do so That's why are we afraid of these guys honestly

Like we should be looking out They should be an endangered species we should be looking out for Do you think when a vampire sees a human being just walk into the vampire's house uninvited, they're like, fuck, man, I know that there's no rule for you, but rude? But it's like rude. It sucks, dude. It's rude. I wouldn't do it.

Why are you here? To fucking kill you. Why? Like, why, dude? Why? This is the early interaction I have with you guys. I can't even open the curtains on my windows. I don't know what time it is.

Is this just because I killed your nephew while you was? was getting water for the horses one time. I killed one 10-year-old nephew, and you're like, Dracula, get him. Did you even like him that much? That was like nine days ago, dude. Get over it. His fingernails were so gross, dude.

Did you look at his fingernails? Oh! You should be thanking me! I saw you eating some cow meat the other day. Is that cow's son going to come kill you? Come on, be cool. Do you think Dracula? is gluten intolerant.

This isn't, there's nothing else there to badger. We talked about that already, like literally that exact thing in Count Donut. We've discussed this exact topic. At work, I've started a new role where essentially I'm the personality for a popular snack mascot. I either write or approve everything they say. When I tell people what I do for work, they always ask me to do the voice, but I don't do the voice. I am just a writer. Brothers, how can I avoid this awkwardly.

change every time I tell someone I'd do for work, it's also extra tough on me because I asked my bosses if I could do the voice, but they said I just didn't have what they're looking for. That's from misunderstood mascot. You should stop telling people that you are the voice and soul of Chester Cheetah. Yeah. And people will stop asking you to do the voice. You say, I'm the soul of, I'm the mind and soul of Chester Chita. I think it's crazy you guys leapt immediately there. Like, it's possible, I guess. But to me, represents like the big show this would be like george oh yeah there's a team steering chester yes there's a whole uh network of uh data mining AI sort of probes that are that are coming up

with the i don't know that that's true i think that you want a consistency of thought process you want to see like yes that's exactly something chester cheetah would do and right is and so you'd Like one person. He's called Chester Cheetah, but you can't lose the human element there. Exactly. Or else he's not, he isn't relatable. Like, he is a blank canvas that, and that's what I appreciate about him is we have not filled him to the brim with a ton of lore.

He is a cheetah who looks cool and likes to eat cheetos. We don't need a whole biography on him past that. We don't need, we don't need an S&ES platformer. He also has an. unstated danger element to him where he'll say like dangerously cheesy and like he's got a vibe of danger to him yeah it's never specified what that is what that danger you don't want to people think i i would love to meet chester cheetah you don't want to meet chester cheetah if you're not going to love that experience don't meet your idols especially when they are

by their own words dangerous yeah same with tony the tiger i think if i met tony the Tiger, he would encourage me to be more physically actually. These are jungle cats that will fucking kill you gang. I have a list of the top 50 brand mascots. And I was wondering if you guys, if I were to throw some at you, you guys could just give me some fresh takes. Because I would love this job. I feel like we would be really good at this, this game. Travis, what would. Question asker, this is not remotely what you wanted, but like, I bet it will be helpful too. Travis, like, let's say that you are the one, you're the one who's now in charge of Snuggle Bear.

Like, how are you making Snuggle Bear more relevant to refer to, like, today's market? I think seeing somebody, oh, they've just had a really stressful, maybe, like, first day of college where, like, they bumped into somebody and they got yelled at a bunch, and, like, maybe their professor was really mean to them, and they're just sitting there, and they're really, like, freaking out, and Snuggle Bear comes over with, like, a warm, fluffy blanket, and he puts the blanket over their shoulders, and he says, I'll just. take care of it. And then we see Stemblebeer ripping into the throat of everyone who was mean to him. Yeah. Shit, that's cool. That's actually cool.

I don't know that it's going to move a lot of fabric softener, but... No, it's not going to sell a lot of years. He's smothering them with a blanket. And while smothering them, the people are also saying, so soft. That's cool. Griffin, Griffin, yeah. We all know that Chef Boy R.D. is America's most beloved chef, but no one gives a shit about him anymore.

So how would you bring Chef? Boy R.D. into 2025. Big social media presence to start things out, to lay the groundwork. And it's going to be stuff like Chef Boy R.D. edited into, like, anime music videos. Like, a lot of fans. A lot of fan sort of cuts that attack on Titan, all kinds of other sort of like stuff.

That My Hero Academia kind of like, hold up for a hero. Is he a giant? Is Chef Boyardee a giant in the... No, you're watching clip... And this is not on TV so you can use clips. Whatever. You do it. There's no laws, basically.

There's no laws, whatever. But it's like clips from Attack on Titan and... Baruto and, like, all of those guys. And then, like, in there... But it's coming from Chef Boyardee's channel. It's like his channel. And he doesn't even mention the fact that it is Chef Boyardee until, like, the comments of everyone is like,

hey great anime fan edit chef boy rd so like the buzz is getting out there in a really organic way um and then i don't think you really honestly have to do much more than that these days then i counterpoint that i would love you too chef man rd and now he's a ripped dude and he's like got kind of that like sexy santa cla okay hold on sexy santa claus vibe you know make any of them hot like Of course, yeah, like, make them hot. Also, Jeff Boyardee would be great. It's just a guy. Jeff Boyardee is real.

We should get Chef Boyd into Master Jeff this year just to, like, give him a shot at something. Jeff Boyardee. Jeff Boyardee, Travis, I got, I got one word for you. Affleck. You know? Affleck. I want to see that duck after work. I want to see that duck go home.

and we see like maybe some unpaid bills maybe like photographs with somebody ripped out of them right he's gone through some hard times and he at home he feels so empty and alone and the only time he feels alive is when he's screaming

aflac in people's faces and it gives us like he doesn't do this for the money right He does it. This is a service. This is something he does from his heart. Sorry. I'm trying to listen, but on the page I have shared that has the mascots,

inexplicably, there is a Robin Williams memorial airing in the bottom right in the corner of the window. And I'm trying to watch, but there's this tiny little Robert Williams Memorial that was playing. Guys, it was really moving. He taught us all to laugh. I mean, it's a kick-ass Patch Adams. The kick-house patch items bid he's doing. But, yeah, back to the game. Back to the game.

Oh, hey, listen, what if it was just me, Justin McRoy? And it was a video. And I'm like, hi, I'm the Gerber baby. I'm doing fine. Yeah. I'm okay. You know, the food worked out. I grew up, and I lived, and it all worked out fine.

So it's good baby food. I ate the food. I did eat the food. And I, some of it's pretty good, guys. Like, and I'm not getting, I am getting paid to say that. Like, I'm the Gerber baby, so people ask. It comes up. I think you could take, I'm looking at the screen here, Justin.

Get the Quaker Oats, man, but take him a kind of a witch hunter kind of vibe. We're also thinking he should hunt with. Sugary, sugary cereals are, like, deeply sinful and demonic. Yeah, yeah, let him come in and, like, burn the tricks rabbit of the steak or something. Old time, dark ages, family drama, a la the witch. and Quaker Oats Man is the father and like

and sorry guys get into the religion more Quaker Oats you guys are leaving a lot on the table There's a huge part of it guys It's like a huge part of it guys And you really aren't

When I eat Quaker Oats I'm not getting a message Do you know what I mean And that is gonna put it In certain people's hearts and minds Quaker like Quaker makes Chewy granola

Strawberry crispy clusters Like, is that, it feels judgmental to have the Quaker looking at me from that box. Like, that is, I'm not inhabiting the Quaker lifestyle with that. You know what I mean? No way. It's a gift to be chewy. Tis a gift to be strawberry. That's good, man.

Tricks. I would just change the name. Just change the trick's name of the Tricks rabbit. To what? To what? To what? Trinks. Dracks.

With an end. Dracks. Trinks. We got Drax now. It's my cereal. Guardian to the Galaxy? Yeah. We replaced Tricks Rabbit with Drax.

That's easy. That one's easy. I would not be surprised if I mentioned Tricks cereal and you're like, no, Disney does actually own, through a series of mergers, they do own Tricks cereal and also the nickel. What is the Jolly Green Giant? Is he a vegetable? Are you ready for this? The Jolly Green Gundam. that's cool

fuck that's cool he might end up in a chef boy RV fan edit too which would be cool jolly green I know right

Johnny green Gundam is good can they sue us for that probably not I mean if we don't do anything with it which our track record says we won't

what about like hanging in there Green Giant and it's like being a little bit more emotionally honest about how he's do like how he's doing but the brand is going to

what about on Molly Green Giant He's just really feeling colors and tasting light. I think, you know, he's having a great time. Just destroying the countryside beneath his giant sort of like stoned body as he just kind of vibes around. I want him to be more representative of my relationship with cereal. So like when he sees me, he's like, hey, Justin, I rubbed oil all over me and all the herbs you like. And I roasted myself for 450 degrees for a half hour. I'm like, ready to go.

Ready for you to eat me. I want him to be more appetizing. You know what I mean? Like the idea of a giant man. You want to be more interested in eating the jolly green giant? He could look more like food. I would like him to feel more like sentient food because right now he's kind of an uncanny valley situation where he's like, can I eat him or not?

You know what I mean? Yeah. You want clarity. I want clarity. You want veggie tales. When you watch veggie tales, you know the second you see one of those guys whether or not you would pop up. Why are we listening to a bear about fire? right yeah i would wonder about smoky the bear is so interesting what if he was a person

who had a diploma yeah about it and he was like i would rather you did it you know what i mean like i don't trust a bear he could be trying to chase me to better places to eat me you know what me like don't lie a campfire because then i'll be scared of it and i can't come eat you basically i have a theory on this which is i believe that the bear was chosen As opposed to say a deer or a squirrel, a more relatable forest animal, because of the implied threat of like, only you can prevent forest fires or else. Right. And that shit doesn't work on me. I do not.

You, I think you catch a lot more flies with honey than whatever smoky bear is trying to set down by being subconsciously pretty frightening. The only reason. It's just a huge. The only reason to make McGruff the crime dog human size. is to give the implication that he can arrest an adult and take him to jail. Correct. Like you need to be able to, because McGruff could solve crimes with just his snout, leading the proper authorities to the criminals.

But he has to be man-sized because you need to know that when he does track him down, he can fist-fight them. Like, he can fight them physically. How much money do you think of a cost to get an edit of Airbud that someone touches up with VFX? or whatever where he is a five foot 10 inch tall bipedal dog man who's like so guys did I make the team like he's like the dog police video but it's 90 minutes long and yeah it sounds good man I'd love to watch a full sentient adult size airbud I would be more into a more friendly figure for my forest fire prevention I would love like a crunchy like your crunchy friend

Kyle, your earthy, crunchy friend Kyle. That would be better for me in vegetables, I think. Ronald McDonald is one of my favorites, because he is one of the few that they just won't for a few years. You know, they'll go years and be

like, Ronald, no, I don't think so. They've made such a big deal about Grimmis. Like, Grimmis is uncanceled guys. We're bringing him back out of retirement. It's like, that's great. I haven't seen Ronald's ass yeah since fucking 2020 like where is he i think it's time it's time for ronald to go cyber if you ask me it's time for cyber ronald a fully digitized out of the computer vr experience i

like that that's cool is he and i know you're saying travis that seems like a lot of buzzwords without any follow-up you didn't say what it would be but that's but you're interested let me fill in the gap let him my imagination yeah 4K. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, man. Crypto. Oh, dude.

Yeah, buddy. This is new gen. Next wave. Next wave, Ronald. Next wave, Ronald. That's right. Fully digital. I would find it a lot cooler to find out that you wrote all the ad copy for the Little Caesars guy,

which is, I'm guessing, sort of a mid-range kind of mascot job. I think he only says the one thing, Griffith. You're right, I pick the worst imaginable example. But I do love the idea of the reason there hasn't been any new dialogue is because it's like, I can't think of anything else he would say. It's not in character. No, it's not that, Travis. It's an exercise and a display of unfathomable restraint.

There's a whole team of writers every week they get together in the conference room and bring up their best shit. Like, how about check this out. Pizza, pizza? I'm like, no, sorry, it's not broken, guys. It's still the best it could possibly be. but keep grinding. There must have been a point with the little Cesar's

where they said, what if he just says pizza? And they're like, that's not it. And then someone said, what about pizza, pizza, pizza? And they're like, I think that's too much. We gotta.

And then somebody said, I know, just two times. And they said, fuck, dude. They did it two times because they used to give you two pizzas in a very long box. And that was the whole angle

as it wasn't very good, but at least there's two of them. Now they have to lie on puffs. What does that have to do with Caesar? Why was that connected to Caesar in any way. It's a Greek style.

It's a Greek style pie. It's a Greek style pie. He made the first pizza. Oh, the famous Greek Emperor Caesar? Is that what you're saying, Justin? Greek and Rome, a lot of people are still kind of, you know. Uh-huh. The same time. Travis, those two

happened the same time and all their shit. Historians agree. They were all about columns. They all had columns and robes and togas. And it's all kind of a similar. That's the second time we talked about Caesar. this episode. Yeah. They all had different.

But which one? But which one? I don't know. All this stuff, Travis, all this mythology, it happened so long ago, and they have a lot of the same kind of. Acrustus Caesar. Acrustus Caesar, is that the name of the little Caesar's mascot? I've decided it is, yes.

He probably has one. It probably has one, and it's probably great. You know, Little Nero's Pizza isn't real. Just didn't home alone. Okay. So it's not real I mean it isn't home alone But no

That's real Ovalone's not real It's not a real You can't be like it's real In a made up movie Yeah Let's go the money zone Because it's clearly

A red face Travis that was the fucking Perfect transition You ruined it Damn it dude I nailed it And you killed it I want to try to get Hey guys

For real Hey guys The Matrix isn't real You would say that though You would say that until you realized you were wrong Looks real when you watch The Matrix You're like whoa really But it's not actually

It didn't happen But it stars my friend Morbius No man no man No Morbius turned into a cloud of bats It flew into the sky We've covered this Right okay sorry Yeah I switched them again

Let's go to the money zone It's not as good as the last one But it'll have to do You know, I don't know from my school days when I was a wee lad But fall will always feel like The beginning of the year to me

You know what I mean? It feels like the new start of it Because like going back to school And that kind of thing At a great time The page is being turned You know It's a new chat

It's just being turned. The leaves fall, lives change, and the step by step, day by day. You know, you get it. And it's a great time to start some new things to take care of yourself, and I recommend factor. Like what, Traff? Because in all that change, all that hustle, all that bustle. It's hard to find time to cook, but factors there for you with their chef prepared, dietitian-approved meals. And they're designed to make it easy.

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plus free breakfast for one year, get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Hey, Juice, we were over at your house a month or so ago, and I just, want to say kitty cats look yeah man both the kitties are looking really good their coats are looking thick and lustrous and i think griffin you sounded really out like there for a second yeah not in a hungry way smalls is the is the reason by the way it's a it's a it's a cat food that i've been given them it comes in these little packages it comes frozen in a big box you take out what you need and then you're open in a fresh pack of delicious food that your cat's going to be wild for smooth

smooth cow other bird they love all the flavors of smooth i'm kind of a smooth bird you're a smooth bird when Travis comes over to my house and needs a late night snack he reaches for smooth bird but you can choose whichever these delicious tummy tempters that you want to indulge you jason i told you never to talk about that in public i thought it was people food each small's so good each small's meal is also infused with melmite which is the only substance that can hurt out And so when he smells one of the cats who's been eating Smalls food, he gets freaked out and, like, runs away. None of that is true, but what is true is that cats love Smalls,

or at least mine do. If your cats have good taste like mine do, then they're going to love it as well. Because you're, my brother, my brother, and me listener, you can get 60% off your first Smalls order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. That's 60% off when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. Plus free shipping. Again, that's small.com slash my brother.

You guys know that stinky onk that I carry around for my protection? Is that man a melmite? That's Melmite, yeah, because it's, again, one of the, is, there's not much. It's a little, stinky, onk. It's like that stinky onk-shaped talisman that I carry around. You remember. That's for Alfs. Hey, guys, I just want to talk about something that has become really important to me. yeah thank you uh it's hard you know goal setting is like really important and it's really

important to like sort of have things you're working towards goal tending is too um so i'm a heartbeat of the team i have found myself surprisingly caring about something a great deal and it's something i just want to start get the conversation going because it's never too early i want to talk i want to talk about the rocks oscar or as i'm calling it the roxker the roxer yeah for The Smashing Machine? Yes. We have seen now, I've been I don't think Delighted is too strong word, with every

piece of Smashing Machine, advertising that I get, I am happier that there is a movie called The Smashing Machine and it stars The Rock. Sure. Good. Good, good. It is a true story of a UFC fighter and it is being compared

probably by the Rock, most of all, I would think, in private to make you Rourke's star turn in the in the conversation starting to turn towards whether or not the Rock is going to get the Rock's culture or not. Do you think, I bet, unlike most people where they are like, oh, they're doing this to get the Oscar, I bet that the Oscars went to the Rock and we're like, we have wanted to give you one of these for so long, please just do a movie that we can even remotely justify giving

it to you. Please let us give you an Oscar. Please fuck with a softie. Please get with one of the softies. We will not tell you which one. Either one's going to get you there. The Rock got, after the Smashing Machine, premiered.

It received... It's out now? Well, it premiered at the festival circuit. Travis, Travis, Travis, come back. Travis, come back. It's not out yet. It premiered on the festival circuit and received a 15-minute standing evasion. end of it, during which

the Rock reportedly cried uncontrollably. Okay. For 15 straight minutes? Okay, guys. Hey, no, no, I do not want to sound like I am judging the Rocker's emotional, vulnerable. Amazing, but 15 minutes of crying, hard, uncontrollable crying.

The ovation lasted for 15 minutes. I'm going to go ahead and start a timer just so we, just so we get an idea. I'm like, imagine the movie just ended. And we're cheering for the rock, right? You can't have that going in the show, though, because it'll reveal how much of our shit, Rachel,

it's out. When you're like, and there's our 15 minutes. All those jokes are gone. Now, here's that. I want to make it clear. I believe that everyone should be able to cry when the spirit moves them. It's fine.

I can. I'm trying to picture the giant man that I know as the rock crying uncontrollably. I bet it's scary. I bet it's crazy. If he loses control. I, listen, they teach us not to editorialize when you're learning the AP style.

And I don't think you can ever know the contents of another person's heart. I have to say, I assume that after you are a wrestling professional, you are always in control of your emotions. He can't afford to not be. You know what I mean? Yeah. Sure. Sure. It's got to be tough.

You can't get angry. You can't get angry while you're out there because you could hurt somebody. That's what the Smashing Machine is kind of all about. You can't get sad out there or you'll get smashed. The Rock? Which is also one of the core messages of the smashing machine. Emotions lead to smashing. The Rock has been wearing sunglasses.

And that, sorry, not sunglasses. The Rock has been wearing glasses at some of these events. And that is starting to make people think maybe it's time for the Rocksker. You know, maybe this is the moment because he's wearing glasses. The glasses. glasses maybe because he's going for an evolution and there's some other clues too and that's really

what I wanted to bring you guys here for the Rock's been doing a lot of promotion for the smashing machine a lot of interviews and I think the Ross the more you say the name of the movie the more it sounds like a fun fake title we came up with

for an actual movie and here and I gathered some of the Ross's quotes about his work during the film because he's been he's been out there promoting it and I just wanted to share some of it with you guys this transformation

was something I was really hungry to do I had been very fortunate to have the career that I've had over the years and to make the films that I've made but there was just a voice inside of me a little voice that said well what if I could do more I want to do more

and what does that look like I've been scared to go deep and intense and raw until now until I had this opportunity to do this. When you're in Hollywood, as we all know, it had become about box office and you chase the box office. And the box office in our business is very loud. It can push you, this is what the Rock said. It can push you into a corner and a category. This is your lane. This is what you do. And this is what people want you to be. This is what Hollywood wants you to be. And I understood that. I made these movies and I liked them and they were fun and so we're really good.

and did well, and so I'm not so good. I think what I did realize is I just had this burning desire and this voice that was just saying, what if there's more? What if I can? Do we get to vote on Oscars? Do we get to decide? What would we have to do to be voters for Oscars?

Because I'm doing my part. I can't take out of billboard outside Rodeo Drive, okay? I want to help. I want to reward what I just heard. He's been fighting so far and hard, guys. Can I tell you, I was struck in that statement. There's a beautiful childlike naivete as he's like, is there more than just doing big man punching movies?

I don't know. Don't dismiss a million billion big man. Yeah, like 100,000 million billion big man punching movies. But that he's sitting there like, what does it even look like for the rock to do some like real act and I'm like, should I try acting more deeper? The great thing about following the Roxker as I have been is that the people who are covering the rock sker don't actually have the vocabulary to understand what the rock sker means. So they are buying it.

Here's a real line from the variety story about the premiere of the smashing machine. Before the screening started, one fan. shouted Johnson's signature W.W.E. Line. Can you smell what the rock is cooking? Prompting laughter from the man of the hour. The Rock's going to get his Oscar, guys. He's going to get his fucking Oscar.

These people are not getting it. He wasn't a dick about it. Yeah. He didn't pull a Billy Bob Thornton where he'd be like, uh, would you ask Brad Pitt about his, uh, cooking YouTube that he does? Like, he's, he owns it. He knows where he came from and he's proud of it. I'm also, I'm thinking of a lot of, like, got an Oscar and then ended up doing big man action movies. He wants to have it the other way. Yeah, there's a Stallone, you know, Stallone paved the way of, like, got that Rocky for writing, I believe.

And then said, now I'm just going to be action guy from now on. Yeah. And now he's the King of Tulsa. Now he's the King of Tulsa. Enough said. That's true. the rock continues in this same junket, like same junket, same tour. These are all from the same junket.

Sometimes it's hard to know what you're capable of when you've been pigeonholed into something. It's harder to know, wait, can I do that? I feel like I can. And sometimes it takes people who love you and respect you to say you can. The rock! Guys, the rock is like, I feel like I've been pigeonholed. into being the rock yeah man it says in your contract you can't lose fights the rock yeah man i think you've been pigeonholed i think you've had a role in that pigeonholing i think it's cool to watch

him do this shadow work out in front of all it like yeah i have to do this in a mirror the rock gets to do in front of reporters and this is what those safty's duty this is how those safties fucking get you guys remember do you guys fucking remember what the sandman used to be like like before those safeties got their fucking claws in him and turned him into like an introspective sort of artist. It's like, man, it's cool and I'm happy to see it. But also, there's not, we're not going back, guys. I'll say this, though, it's very inspiring to me

because if someone like, even the rock can be pigeonholed into something, maybe I've been pigeonholed into something, you know? I've never really thought about it. You got to wonder, Trave, are you maybe, are you maybe, have you, are you being punished or like tormented in the same way that the rock is that by i wear glasses he's wearing glasses look at this he was different he and i he's wearing glasses glasses i don't those are fucking cool glasses yeah because he's the rock man they probably cost four thousand dollars and are made by cardier you know sorry but that's maybe it's time for me

to try they're 1400 maybe i should be in the smashing machine too okay that's not that okay we'll talk about i want to be in the smashing machine too travi you can't be in this You can't be in the smashing machine. No, Smashing Machine number two. You can't. It'll be a long time before they make Smashing Machine. You can't because you got to fight the Rock for it. And let me tell you where the Rock is at.

I'm at a point in my career or what I want to push myself in ways that I've not pushed myself in the past. I want to make films that matter that explore humanity and explore struggle and pain. So remember in the future, when the Rock is in films that don't do that, he's doing it against his will. Because that is not what he wants to do. Or in his head. Guys, I've got it. I'm going to write a biopic about myself, starring the Rock as me. I'll get the Oscar for Screamplay.

For the Traving Machine. He gets the Oscar for the Traving Machine. Yes. Starring the Rock as Travis McRoy. Damn it. They want me to throw the podcast. What does that mean? They got me for podcast betting.

What are you talking? Yeah, I was fixing podcasts. What is you, what is that mean? They're hearing. a better representation of podcasting than Alex Inc. says variety. Movies seem to struggle with basic cause and effect sort of storytelling, but beats the pants off Alex. This is the last one. I looked around a few years ago and I started to think, you know, guys, okay, this is what the Rock said to people, right? Like, in my head, before I answer...

Okay. I looked around a few years ago, and I started to think, you know, am I living my dream or am I living other people's dreams? The Rock doesn't know that? The Rock doesn't... How am I supposed to answer that question for myself? Is the Rock living my dream in which the Rock is a huge star and maybe gets a roster? Wait, am I living the Rock's dream and he's living my dream and we somehow switch bodies?

You can come to that recognition. And I think you either fall in line. Well, it's status quo Things are good I don't want to rock the boat You know you either keep doing The multi-million dollar movies or go

I want to live my dreams now And do what I want to do And tap into the stuff That I want to tap into And have a place Finally To put all this stuff That I've experienced in the past

And that I've shied away from I've been scared to go deep And intense and raw until now Until I had this opportunity Keep going, King Like you're, yeah Yeah, man. Keep it going.

We're all rude for you. By way, I'm not a watcher of Young Rock. I guess you don't cover this territory in the biopic about your young life, which just seemed like missed opportunity. If I wanted to dig into sort of my unpacked stuff, one way that I might do that is a series about my youth, The Rock. Yeah, but that was, he wasn't here yet. Young Rock has so much work to do before he gets to rock.

I also think that there is an implied parenthetical stuff. at the end of all these quotes that's like, and now I have so much money that I don't have to worry about box office anymore and I can make some of this shit. He's not, he's making the smashing machine. If you want to make art, come to do a podcast. That's where the podcast. Thank you.

You're welcome to be here and I will eat every bad word I've ever said about you. I love The Rock. I just feel like no one is doing the work that we are doing for The Rock right now. Have you seen Jumanji? In his day-to-day life. You should have gotten an Oscar for Jumanji. Yeah. Yeah, he should have got an Oscar for Jumanji.

Thank you. I'm going to a bachelor party at an Airbnb next weekend. The amenities include a hot tub and arcade, but also a laundry room. How can I surreptitiously do my laundry at the party without it being weird? Yes. Some additional notes. We're only there one night. It is in town.

I have to pay to do my laundry at my apartment, so this will save me money. Thank you. Cool. the logistics are easy i think we could probably chip those in pretty i mean you bring a big suitcase no one's going to fucking say anything why it's one night for one night why such a big suitcase they definitely will try again medicine uh oh medicine i'm super sick this is my final farewell well no like no you wouldn't say all that why would you tell your friends you're dying to cover up doing laundry i didn't say that i say it's personal say it's a personal reason

for why it's so big. And they're not going to ask anymore if they do, they're not your friends. And they'll say, why does it stink like old dirty clothes so much? And you say, medical reasons, former friend.

Like, the logistics are so easy. We don't have to sweat those. It doesn't. You're making them seem actually harder than I imagine them to be before the question. If you're in town, here's what you do.

You just keep offering to run out and get more stuff for the party, but you're going back to your apartment and getting another load of laundry and bringing it back and forth. That's good. That's good.

You need some sort of... Oh, you're big Coke. You have a big coat on, too. That helps, and you're wearing all the laundry. Some sort of Easter egg hunt or scavenger hunt or something would give them, just to get them out of the house for a while. Well, I was going to say to give you an excuse for, like, continually ducking in,

like, there's got to be one around here. You know, like, if you said that, like, really loud, like, there's got to be a clue around here somewhere. You can cover doing your laundry. That's cool. And you need to tell, are the other people... If they're like, why are you going into the laundry room so much, you can be like a scavenger hunt, you know what I mean?

For one. No, they're playing too. There is a scavenger hunt. Like, you've organized it. I just need a moment of quiet reflection in scavenger hunting. Yeah, we don't use that excuse enough when someone's like, what are you doing, just wondering around, what are you looking for? You should be able to just say, like, eggs.

Clearly, the implication is that you would organize the hunt. Like, you would have to organize it, clearly. I'm looking for hidden eggs. Oh, or hidden cameras. That, Travis, I like that. You can't be too careful of these Airbnbs. It could be. Yeah, but you just keep going in the laundromes.

Do you want to check, like, the bedrooms? They try to watch. That's where they try to monitor. They want to take pictures of your filthy panties. Nobody better be doing any laundry in my laundry room. I'll tell you this right now. Now, if I went to a bachelor party, if I, because I've lived in apartments where I had to pay to do my laundry and stuff. And if I went to a bachelor party in an Airbnb and another guest there brought their laundry to do for free, the feeling I would feel is deep envy and anger at myself.

And hey, that's actually probably going to be your biggest issue. Everyone else has done it too. And there's only the one washer dryer. You're going to have to coordinate and try not to mix up your underwear. I don't. What's wrong? Just Travis saying that really threw me for a loop. Whether you don't want to mix up your underwears with each other

if you throw your clothes together. No, just be calling it your underwear. That's because of the rim. I know, that's what I'm saying. It made me think of that. What if you went to everybody in the party and you got one piece of dirty clothes from each of them and you put it in with-

As a getting-to-know-you game? No, like you, so the rock has just finished his applause break. Wow, that's a huge amount of time to be taking that energy from a big crowd. I think it was a constant level the whole time. It had to be dips, and they're like, he's looking, he's still crying. Maybe we should keep going. Okay, he's still at it.

Yeah, the variety headline is, the rock smashing machine received seven minutes standing ovation. And then about a nine or ten second gap where it seemed like things were slowing down. And then another good 14. Maybe they clapped until he cried. They're clapping and they're like, he's right on the end. Do it, baby. We only got him. Do it, you big pussy.

Let's see the waterworks. You're such a great actor. Come on. Do it. I want to smell what you're cooking. Woo! The smashing machine received a 50 minute. Very directed standing of it.

Very targeted. It was all the iron sheik. That's what's crazy about it. He was just standing out. Yelling at the rock. Wouldn't it be fucking... There should be one... If he gets up to do the speech,

someone should hit him with a chair. I'm just saying that when he gets up to get the Rockscar, Bradley Cooper, it can't. Oh, I went to Martin Short, but... Martin Short? No, he'd kill Martin Short. Wait, is he going to strike back?

Martin Short hits him with a chair. The Rock's like, uncontrollable. Guys, this is where he's at with this film, right? I wouldn't push it. Oh, he's tapped into his feelings now. Yeah, he's easy. He's the full power of the rock. He's cracked wide open.

If you go to everybody in the party and you say, hey, give me one piece of your clothing. And then you put it in with your clothes and then you start washing them. Nobody can say anything because they discover it. You're like, oh, that's interesting. Check out this sock. Huh. I guess I'm not the bad guy. I guess we're all culpable now.

I guess we're all criminals. Huh. Hey, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it. I looked at my watch before I started saying that and I don't. really know why. Hey, we're going to do some more shows. You want to come see us?

We're still out there. We'd love that if you wanted to. Yeah, we're going to be in Salt Lake City and San Diego doing shows next month. Tickets for all the shows are on sale now. You can get all the information about those shows and the ticket links and everything at bit.ly slash Macroy Tours. Speaking of tickets, at the beginning of November, tickets for the third annual Champions Grove at Ravenwood Castle and Hot.

Rocking Hills, Ohio, are going to be on sale. All the information and everything at Champions Grove.com. That's more than just a ticket to an event, folks. That's a ticket to adventure. That's a ticket to friendship. That's a ticket to good times. To learning? You're going to learn?

And to friendship. Which I have covered. Yeah, but double friendship. We got some new merch in the store. We got a gerald shirt designed by Lynn Doyle, who is at Lynn Doyle, on Instagram, L-I-N-D-O-Y-L-E. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to. to Equality Florida, which is dedicated to securing full equality

for Florida's LGBTQ community. We also have a newsletter. You can sign up at bit.ly for it slash Macquarie newsletter and be the first to know about new stuff that we're here. Hey, thanks to Montaigne for the use for a theme song, My Life is Better With You. Check out Montaigne's. It's not really new.

I don't know at what point an album stops being new. New to you? It's hard to be a few. Well, they've been posting a lot of content from their tour and everything. It looks so cool that you should go check out Montane's TikTok. presence. There's a lot of great videos. Thanks, funny. Do we have a final fear?

We do. Yeah, I'll read it. This year, I'm going to be faster than my fear of trees but only at night. My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. To be my brother, my brother.

Kiss your dad's square on the lips. It's better, it's better with you My life! Ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life! Ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Maximum Fun.

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