My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 782: A Net Full of Screaming Butterflies

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Introducing TravNation points, which can be exchanged for prizes! You earn points by doing things like slyly learning to ride a unicycle, dressing up a concrete goose, and gushin’ up those lanternflies. Sorry, there are not enough hacky sacks to go around, those are first come, first served.Suggested talking points: Two Ears and One Mouth, You Miss All the Pigs You Don't Buy, Living Cheesily, Words That are CGI'd InBorder Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapping, and two. a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life it feels life it's better it's better with you

my life ah it's better it's better with you this is true It's better, it's better with two My life Ah, ah, it's better with you

Hello everybody and welcome My brother, my brother, and me an advice show For the Modran era I'm your oldest brother, Justin McRoy I'm your middleest brother, Travis, big dog, Frum, Wharf, Wharf, Macrooy, What's up, Trave Nation? What's up, Trave Nation? It's me, your sweet baby

Brother Griffin, McElroy. This week, I, uh, it's always fun. whenever there's something religious happening on TikTok because I get to become my wife's designated Protestant and she was as she was really caught up in

what she called rapture talk I don't know if anybody else did but apparently a bunch of people not a bunch I don't know some number of people thought the rapture was gonna happen You guys heard of last week Can you can you lin-o it

Like can you put a little lino stank on it? You guys hear about this? You guys heard of this? People thought The rapture was going to happen last week. That's not bad. It feels like every day someone thinks the raptor's going to happen. This was a big one, dude.

This was a big one. And a lot of people, like Justin said, and I'm not going to name names or say if I'm one of them, we're pretty fucking stoked. And I honestly feel pretty disappointed. Some of people, some of people went to Wendy's and bought 30 hamburgers and ate 30 hamburgers because they thought they were going to leave their stupid body behind and shoot up into heaven and ascend. So wait, Griffin, I'm confused by this logic.

Was it to fuel the transition? Was it to punish your body? Was it like, this doesn't mean anything? No fuel needed. From what I understood, again, from Christok, was that he was going to handle most of the heavy lifting with the ascension. I wouldn't need to, like, squeeze, like, I kegles so hard that my soul shoots up and out. Okay. So, Griffin, I know that you were not following this incident.

this this like sort of ongoing conversation so I would like to ask you before I bias you with sort of like the conversation right and I want to send jokes Heather in for a second sure please from your joke I did not eat 30 hamburgers thank you thank you for clarifying okay we could go back to jokes now we just need to check in on Griffin's constitution based on the upbringing that you received in the church at Highlon Baptist Church HBC right what did you think was going to happen in the rapture? What was your, what is, like, sending jokes out of the room for a second? Yeah, I mean, Rapture wasn't hit particularly hard at young Sunday school. I will say, Mr. Kirk Cameron did, I think, sort of popularized the idea for, for a lot of us. From what I understood, it would just be a kind of like, I would disappear and you guys would be, well, you guys would be left behind. Why would you assume that? I got baptized...

Mom and Dad taught him. I got baptized twice, Griffin. Yeah. If anyone's going up, it's this guy. It's not a number. It's not a quantity. The fact that you got baptized twice actually kind of cheapens it a little bit.

I like the attention. Yeah, no. I recently told my wife that I read the book left behind and she look at me like a moon man and it's like, hey, at my church, that is as close to sci-fi as you got at the library. Man, that was thrilling. That was a romp.

That was almost. That was a romp. And Kirk Cameron made it from Growing Pains secular much. So like, uh, watch, watch the judgment. He was somebody the kids already loved because we love growing pain so much. So I would disappear and you guys be left behind and you'd have to, there'd be like a chip that would be implanted in your hand. Or a barcode.

Or a barcode. And you guys would be pretty bummed out. But I don't, I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be there. I guess I'd be in heaven and kicking it, but it didn't happen. Well, and after a while, I think we get kind of general admission tickets to heaven.

After I think like seven years, it's like, yeah, you guys, you tried your best. Yeah, but the scene will be so played at that point. Like, you guys are going to get up there, and you'll be like, Griffin, you're back. I said, we're so happy to see you. It's all worth the wait. And I'll be like, yeah, man.

And you'll be like, let's go to the heaven rave. I'll be like, oh, man, like, I've done that, like, a thousand times like the scene is played dudes you missed it the distinction that you're drawing the thing that you're you're describing is close to my understanding

of what the biblical prediction of the rapture is and the thing that is I think that that has most been codified in this sort of like mass psychogenic event that's happening you know the people are thinking there's been

it's pretty much settled that people are going to be floating sand's clothes the clothes drop yeah and so there were several people sort of watching from their balconies to see if people started floating up and there was a lot of warnings to like make sure

this is the one that I thought was meant make sure you weren't indoors yeah because that would cause because it would start well you would just hit the seat I didn't know if it was like a fizzy lifting drinks kind of deal where you hit the ceiling

and be like whoa Charlie we get and you have to like float your way to the door if you just like, rock it right the fuck through the ceiling. You know, you can get through the ceiling, but Jesus got to give you an extra, like, hard tug to get it. And it doesn't hurt so much as it feels weird. Embarrassing, too. Yeah, that's when the clothes pop off.

The clothes popping off is the other thing I want to talk about. Because if, okay, I'm getting pulled up. Yeah. Awesome. Love it. Love it. So stoked to get pulled up. Yeah.

Stoked it. A little surprise. Sure. considering but stoke certain promises were made when we were children that we were not expecting to yeah I did not think we're still good man because we've done a lot

of stuff since it's like finding an old subway punch card and you're like surely this is expired and then you take it in and subway's like no it's like we'll still accept that we will honor this it's like putting six G.I. Joe UPCs on the counter of a speedway and they hand you

a sergeant slaughter figure it's like well I never thought Anyway, Wait, Pepsi points are real? Pepsi, I did get the Harrier Jet. I went, if I went up and my clothes were on the ground. Yeah. Am I just instantly okay with that?

And if so, am I still myself? That's a great question. Because my drip is part of me. You're true of me? I can't leave the drip behind. The amount of time it would take me to get over the fact that my phone was in my jeans as I'm, like, floating up. I'm not saying I would never get over it, but I'm saying there was a period of time

where I think, yeah, no, I'm glad I'm, I got in. I got grandfathered in, I assume. But my phone is. If there's not a little poof of purple dust where Travis's hair was, I will be furious because like that should not be permitted. Does that count? What about my glasses?

If the drip is left behind, you know what I mean? Like I don't, do I get? Kind of cool for the, for the tribulation force getting to run around and pick up all. All that dirt, dude. All that, loot. Oh, that loot. I want to know. If you want to dress like a Protestant.

Fair point. If I want to know how I get pulled up so hard, my clothes come off. Because my shirt's not going to go up through the top, right? The only thing I can think is that I sort of goes ass up. And it does it so, like, face down, ass up. And all the clothes shoot downwards. Because I think it's kind of be like you see in a. cartoon a monkey squeeze the banana real hard

the banana pops out of the top. But my shirt's not going to go down me. You know what I mean? Your shirt would split open like a banana peel as you explode out of the top like a Roman candle. Well then it's not the drip is not preamed for the people who are left behind. That's true. I didn't even think of it. What if you are

instantly copied in your drip and you just have a special trip? But it's perfect. But it's that one forever? It's like a little bit of forewarning. What if I'm in my what if I'm in my athleisure wear? I don't want anyone to see me like that. Yeah. Or if I've been doing a hard day's labor, no, I've, I've never done a hard day's labor in my life. Let's not be. Uh, this is an advice show. You send

this your questions. You know, we never mentioned this. MBM at maximum fund a work. How do we continue to get questions? I don't know how we can, we literally never tell people how to do that anymore. That's how you do it. Yeah. It's not like magic. Make them real. Make them real. Because we haven't done that in a while. Let's lay some. What makes a good. What makes a good question good question is you where are you telling me that's a are you were you saying that was a good question that i asked you or what makes a good i don't want to confuse people the what you said was great but it's not a great example of a question for the show do you know as as the person who's almost exclusively sorted the questions for the last 15 years i'd love to hear you guys talk

about what makes a good question weird energy we no no no i've been selecting them for 15 years I have no idea. But you heard the confrontational tone. It had a confrontational tone. I have a hard time. You had to see her. I don't know what to tell you. Two years and one mouth.

A lot of people forget that. I don't understand what that means. One brain, two. Three eyes. Whoa. So, I don't know. Eleven senses. Okay.

Unique, not about office or dating. We don't, we're out of that. We're so far out, guys. And real. Not dogs. Not a funny story that happened to you one time. I like those, but they aren't very rich for us to discuss. How do I trick someone into something is also like a little play.

I don't like to do tricks anymore. Our trick days are behind us. I recently got a unicycle. I never rode a fucking start. Yeah. I've never rode a unicycle before. I'm trying to keep a secret from my friends. So someday while we're hanging out, I can just hop on the unicycle out of nowhere and be a pro at it.

Sure. That is, okay, we'll come back to it, but that's the only thought that's ever motivated anyone in any hobby ever. Okay, the problem is it's extremely hard to learn to unicycle in a tiny dorm room, and my friends live right next door. Dear brothers, how can I secretly learn to unicycle?

That's from sneaky cyclists in Lincoln, Nebraska. There is an additional problem here where if you want to suddenly do it out of nowhere, you're going to have to camouflage the unicycle in such a way because it's not like you can hide it in your pocket and break it you're walking up to wherever your friend group is with a unicycle the only way i can think to do that is to buy two unicycles and kind of tie them together when you store them so that they look like well a pretty fucked up bike honestly no you would have a bicycle and have like the back and front end yeah so that

they would kind of stick on to the unicycle and then oh no my bike broke i'll just try this that's the prestige. Before you decide that you're going to do it, try to think through the best version of it working, right? I feel like in the best version of it working, somehow you've played it a unicycle, you're like, oh, sweet, unicycle, and then you hop on it, and you're like, well, I got it. And then your friends are like, amazed. Yeah. And then what? No, the first. And then your friends are like, no, seriously. And then you're like, I've been learning it in secret for months. Yeah. You can't. It's just for this.

No, you can do a cooler. There's a step that you missed, and it's part of the hustle, right? Sorry, I don't know how to get off. It's one wheel. You can just kind of... Somebody catch me! Just stretch your legs out. When?

Okay, first of all, Justin, that presupposes that they have spent all this time learning to ride a unicycle in private, but never learned to dismount the unicycle in private? That's the hardest part. Travis, he's doing jokes. That part was a joke. Okay. God! Here's the first part of the hustle that you need.

When, whatever the unicycle deployment is, the first, you're like, I've always wanted to try unicycling, and it goes poorly the first time. Yeah. And then you say, let me try one more time, and now suddenly, it's like, whoa, you're a natural. Right. Right. And then it's like, I guess God decided, you're like, this person is destined to unicycle. Everything about them is designed to be a natural of this. I feel like unicycle, can you guys think of any other means of conveyance that communicates so much about the conveyed as a unit?

Hmm, big penny farthing. If I see somebody on a unicycle and I see somebody on a penny farthing, farthing and they're about to fight okay they're about to have their own twisted metal style battle no but wait okay now hold on if you see someone on a penny farthing yeah they could be time traveler insane museum guy give me one of three or all three all three insane statue from a museum they could be two of the three yeah for sure if you're on a unicycle yeah there's one kind of guy You know what I mean? It's just the one kind of person on a unicycle.

They do make electric unicycles now that balance themselves out. And you look like a fucking Mega Man enemy when you do ride one of those around. They do not make electric penny farthings as far as I know. Yeah. I don't think they're OSHA compliant. You have to be so unnecessarily high up on those things. I have seen people on unicycles. And I would equate this too with like the one wheel like hoverboard things.

where there is, we talk about the practicing of the skill, but not the practicing of the extreme look of nonchalance one must have to ride them as if like, yeah, I'm bored doing that. Dude, and it's so easy to do that. So easy to do that on a unicycle because it requires so little of your body to function. You can really, top half just, ugh, whatever.

If I, don't do it, don't have some big reveal. Just do it around town until one of your friends see. you and you'd be like, oh yeah, I unicycle, I'm quite proficient. That's a chill reveal, not making a big, flashy show of it. That's how you really get down in your fucking friend's brains. That's how you get in there. Have you guys ever seen somebody on one of those one-wheel hoverboards going full-speed? Just going like, whoa!

Yay! I saw somebody drop off their kid who was on an electric scooter at Henry's School. And then he was like, bye, bye, son. and then fucking zooted out of there on his single wheel electric skateboard and I thought that you should be the principal you should get to be the principal when you're that cool

at being a parent another question I want to become one of those ladies with a bunch of cool art in her yard like kinetic sculptures made out of forks and wine bottle sun catchers is there a graceful way to make the transition from boring lawn to art yard should I rip the band-aid and just put out a bunch of

pieces overnight, or should I start gradually with one weird sculpture in the lawn? That's from artless in Massachusetts. Hmm. I want this. I want this, too. Everyone kind of wants this when you walk past a yard, and it's got like a bunch of art and pretty stained glass

creations, and also like a bunch of wildflowers that just like butterflies are on. And you're like, how do you do that, Miss Honey? How do you have that Miss Honey-ass yard? That's crazy. I did like a chaos, you know, wildflower portion on my front yard. and the secret that they don't tell you, Griffin,

is there's a solid, like, month and a half where it's just bare dirt looks like shit. Yeah. Right? Where it's just like... Oh, that guy gave up on that part of the yard. That's what the art is for. You put the art there, and it's like a placeholder for this stuff.

Is the idea that if you put the art in, you can't mow there anymore, so then it becomes a wild... Oh, that's cool, yeah. I didn't think about that. I don't know. That's to art's problem. And then eventually the yard swallows up the art as... when we are all raptured, eventually nature will reclaim all of the art.

Yeah, as it will. I don't think nature would want all of the art. I've seen some art I don't think nature will want. Justin, list off five pieces of art that you think nature wouldn't want. Dungeon Crawler, Carl. Hey, fuck off. How dare you, sir? That was targeted.

That was targeted. That was targeted. It was really, really brutal. It was just the first thing that sprang of mine, Travis. Nature would love that book series. I mean, I have a... I think nature aborts a vacuum, so... That's true.

I have a bad idea. Oh, good, yeah. And it's going to be hard to do, but if you just start showing up to the house with, like, a friend who's wearing, like, tiny little glasses and a black turtleneck, and you say, like, oh, this is, oh, this is Damien. Damien's going to start living here now. And have Damien be sort of, like, very quiet and reserved, but clearly, like, artistic, beautiful mind. And then when the stuff starts showing up in the yard, you can really slow roll it.

No one's going to think, like, have you lost the plot? Why are you putting so much shit in your yard? You'd be like, oh, that's Damien. He says he eats the art, and he needs to be around it to live. Hey, Griffin, as you're describing Damien, there's a 50-50 chance he turns out

to also be a serial killer. No, he's not in this imagine. Why would you even introduce that in this fun? You just said he needs to eat the, Art. Yeah, but not really. Like, eat it, like experience it. And Damien needs that. Consume it is maybe a better word. Consume it is better. You got lost in translation. Yeah, I got it. I got it from demon tongue. I did mix him up. But Damien loves art and he needs it or he'll die. He gets sick without it. And you tell that to your neighbors and then no one's going to ask any questions. It's all Damien. You start practical. Right. That's why bird baths people love. Right. Birds do not need to take a bath. They don't. They're fine. I've never seen a bird looking around for a bird buff. Never been around a bird and been like, that bird stinks.

Big bird probably. Big bird probably gets on. There's no way. How dare you? Not the big bird, but big birds. Big birds. Big birds. And be a big bird.

He gets funky. I, I, well, you put it out there, but you pretend it's practical, right? Like, oh, this, I have to for the birds. Right. And then you put out maybe wind chimes is another one like, well, love the sound, and then you put out eight, and then it's like, too late. I mean, I know this isn't practical at this point,

but I've already put so many out, nobody could judge, that's how you ease into it. In their heads, they're like, well, I guess they had some reason for it. They put out the one bird bath. And that was very well grounded in bird hygiene. I like the idea of sneaking out at like 2 a.m. When the neighborhood's asleep, and just putting up like 30 different, like,

recycled glass bottle arts, and like, there's a, it's a statue of a rooster, right? And then waking up in the morning and be like, Yep, this is how it happened again. It happened again. Yep. No, or you come out the next morning and you're like, what the fuck? These fucking kids!

Again! That's great. You know what? I'm not even going to take it down this time. That'll show them. Yeah. And then. And then you just got to make sure enough neighbors see that little skit.

Do it every 15 minutes as they leave for work. I mean, maybe you have a neighborhood, like, Facebook group and you say, like, come out at noon. I'm going to do my skit. Hey, everyone, it's noon. Everyone, I've got a skit. Marcy down the street has a groceries skit that she's been working on. She's excited about. If you have a Facebook group, then you don't need the skit.

Then you can put a post with the Facebook group that is like announcement to local jerks. Or stop putting all this stuff in my yard. You could do a fully filmed, like, YouTube short that you post in there of you coming out and chasing the kids. off and then maybe from the kids' perspective is they're like, I think they seem listen, they're mad at me now, but they seem like someone who wants art in their yard, this is a service we're providing.

And then it cuts back to you and now you're doing an unboxing video. And this has been your kind of slow transition into you. I'm an art yard person and I want to do unboxing videos. Yeah. The wind

times would be the only thing for me. I do think there should be a government mandated limit on how many wind chimes you because now that's you can the art in your yard looks cool and I'm glad it's there and it looks great and a set of wind chimes blowing in the breeze lovely eight wind chimes is Justin conjured up too many wind chimes don't want to be inside my house watching America's next dancer and hearing a clanging and clanging of a pipe organ falling down a set of windy stairs I don't know if this is pervasive in other cultures but I know here in the U.S., I have been trained for movies and TV shows that the sound of a whim chime

heralds some terrible oncoming supernatural force. Yeah. I've never heard a wind chime and thought. You're in a spooky mood today, man. Yeah, it's very like October is just around the corner, I guess, but Travis has already open up in a constant state of fear. It's great that you're saying that while your own little face is poking up from the bottom of the screen.

Yeah, Traff, can you like look to the, look to your left? No, no, no, it just, it works better if it's just your head. That's good shit, man. Can you get one bigger you to take a picture of that and then wear a t-shirt? That's awesome. Don't act like I wouldn't do that. You know me. You definitely wouldn't.

I wish that the show was just three knees on that. That's interesting, trap. Where do you get yard art except for, I guess, like, world market or whatever? Yeah, Epcot. Epcot, you get yard art? It's just an Epcot, yeah, you got to go, that's how you get authentic stuff. Because you could get things at Walmart or Target that look like they're from another country. Yeah.

Or you could go to Epcot, the World Pavilion, and get stuff that's actually from other countries. Damn. And I think that's where the wind chimes, most wind chimes I do feel like come from Epcot. Yeah. Okay. One time, Rachel and I went to Fredericksburg, Texas for a romantic getaway. And we're on our way there. We went to, like, an art store, and there was a place that had mosaic tile pigs.

and I was like those fucking rule but I was like I can't buy that that's not me I don't have an art yard and so we went on the trip and did this beautiful hiking went to a couple wineries it was very lovely but the whole time you know what I was

thinking about was the mosaic pig that I didn't buy and so on the way back to Austin I did make sure we made a pit stop so I could buy the mosaic pig and his leg broke off very quickly and he died oh no let that be a lesson to you all you miss

100% of the pigs you don't buy. If you see a cool yard art thing, do not fucking hesitate to grab it because there's no guarantee it's going to come back into your life again. You can be who you want to be. I feel like Portuguese are a good conduit to this too. I know people love

the lawn. What do the Portuguese have to do with this, Justin? Sorry, Travis, that's an incredible turn of phrase, like genuinely impressed. Not in a funny way, but in like a... Impressive. Yeah, thank you. Like an Oscar Wild-level wit kind of thing.

I was trying to tell if it was like offensive, but it was like these two words kind of sound like things. No, but people here love the concrete geese. People love garbage. And I feel like maybe that's a good entry point because if you put one out it's like charming and then

they could just replicate overnight. There's 30, you know, and it's no big. Now you do run the risk and we get questions like this all the time where if you start having an art yard your family and friends are going to be like great every present for the rest of their life sorted here's another windmill here's the thing of bottles hanging down what i think sucks is that all yard art kind of subscribes to like a few different things which is like functional bird

furniture or um you know a mosaic sort of tile thing sturdy pieces uh wind chimes what have you and they don't do like all kinds of art like what if what if your decoration style is just like like busts of your favorite comic book and anime characters why don't we get big ones of those for the front yard and weather resistant do you think there's like a Captain America

lawn decor you could go with yes please probably that might send a message you're not ready for go with Deadpool I think Deadpool Deadpoolsons a great list. Captain America, but he's holding the shield upside down. It's full of water. And who's in the shield?

It's birds. They're taking grass. That's amazing. Can I tell you, a bird bath of Captain America shield? I would buy that right. Hold on. I don't want to say. Let me see here.

Captain, I'm about to get rich. Kiss this podcast shit. Goodbye, guys. Yeah, dude. Captain America. Bird. Shield, bird. I would also love a Thor lightning rod to put on top of my house where he's holding

the hammer. And like lightning strikes that instead of my house. It would be great. Yeah. Naruto. I was trying to Google it and I'd accidentally type it in chat GPT and I was making it. No. Yeah, they're making them now.

Turns out AI was a mistake. Ah. Ah. Let's go to the money's on. All right. Tick-Doc-Doc-C-D-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-T-T-T-T-T-T-C-C-C-C-C-T-T-T-C-C-C-T-C-T-C-T-C-C-T-C-L-I haven't done. I think Zok-D-D-D-C-ROW. I think Zoc-D-D-C-ROWs. I'm going to play it right now. that was how it seems like how did you fucking do that dude i did not know that i can do that i do with my tongue like this whoa yeah you know uh if you if you need a doctor that can be really

overwhelming i have a doctor in my house and i still have trouble finding her sometimes so when i can't find my wife i turn to sock sometimes there's 30 to 40 wives in my house and i can't tell which one is a license physician yeah that i am married to. So when I have to find a doctor who I'm also married to, Zoktock. No, Zokok doesn't do that. Zokoktok doesn't do that. What they do is they help you find the right physician for whatever you got going on. You need to see somebody. You want to change providers. You're in a new area that's so overwhelming to find the right physician for you. I still struggle with it.

And like I said, I'm married to a doctor. I still have to deal with this. But Zokokokok makes it really, really easy. They got doctors for everything these days. You guys hear about this? Doctors for everything. It's not just somebody with a black bag that shows up your house and says, like, yeah, doing good, Mr. McRoy and that gives you a lollipop. I had to get an appointment with the sleep doctor because I got a big tongue

makes you sleep bad. That's the thing you got to go to doctors for. Do you guys even know that? Listen, if you have something that embarrassing going on, you want a doctor who's discreet and professional. And we'll probably tell you what you want to hear. And you can search by those filters, I bet, on Zoc Doc. I don't know all

the different filters they have, but like, This is the way to find a physician with ZocTalk. I filled out my whole zoo crew here in D.C. With Zocdoch.com. It's a free app and website, search and compare high quality in-network doctors across every specialty. And click to instantly book an appointment. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash my brother to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C-com slash my brother, Zoc dot, dot.

come slash my brother at the one yard I was so I was not the column at the hell out of you I said it all right I just said it slow the first one I saw you kind of stumble like a gymnast on the balance mean one more word and I will make the sonic logo at you again Travis I will play I will play the zoc doc sound with my mouth that's our new no no can is the zoc doc sonic sonic logo I don't hear that. Yeah, yeah. Clean. Ooh, that's kind of like a hammer-on. A fuzz pedal, yeah. I want a Munch Squad. I want to Munch Squad.

Welcome Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast profile in the latest of grace of brand eating. You know, we don't talk about White Castle enough, even though it holds a distinction in many historians' eyes is one of the first fast food. restaurants. Dad talks about it a lot. A template that we all must follow. So one could argue that as goes White Castle, so goes the world.

And I... Could one? Could one? I don't know how one would even start that argument. One could. One could. But should one? No. Must one. White Castle rolls out pumpkin latte cheesecake on a stick.

Triple cheese tots and B.B.Q. Pold pork slider. But not all together, right? Not at the same There's no combo meal. This is the first sentence of this press release, and I, it has been a busy month at White Castle. Good. Thanks for the update.

Cool. I like it. I like a fucking, I like a press release for a fast food place that sounds like a tales from Lake Wobagon. Like, I'm great. Old Derek has been making the fries again. The iconic family-owned fast food business has expanded its menu. with three brand new limited time only editions and launched the newest iteration of its customer loyalty program.

Craver Nation rewards. Awesome. Huh. So good, man. Craver Nation is good. If you guys haven't said Craver Nation out loud. Craver Nation is awesome. Craver Nation.

It's also giving me, I didn't know I could do rewards for Trav Nation people. And now I could set up like a Pepsi Point style thing. Where when you buy you have enough hacky sacks to distribute for that, though? Because if you don't have enough hacky sacks, I would advise to get up. I got a hacky sack wholesaler here in town that I can work with. Here's a subhead. Whole latte cheese.

What's the major point? Whole latte cheese. Whole latte cheese. Whole latte cheese. Pumpkin spice season has officially jumped the mug and landed on a stick. That's crazy. You guys can't say that it skipped the mug. It's clearly not true.

It's jumped the mug and landed on a stick. Are they going for Jump the Shark? I don't know, man. Because it's not, you went, jump the shark isn't like, yeah, it was in the shark and it jumped out. And also that sentence is saying Starbucks didn't do it this year, so it's on a stick now here at White Castle. A whole latte cheese. I mean, like, here's what I will say. if I cannot derive meaning from the sentence

no human being can't I'm a professional I do this for a living I don't know what they are saying riding the wave of America's pumpkin spice obsession right whoa

it's 2006 whoa this crusty ass wave is ridding a car whoa we're riding the wave fighting the wave of America's pumpkin spice obsession White Castle is rolling out the brand new

Pumpkin latte cheesecake dessert on a stick I'm glad they had to specify it is a dessert and not part of the Secundi course An hors d'oeuvre Yeah It's sound an amouche-boosh There's also so many words in it

Like it couldn't just be pumpkin-spiced cheesecake on a stick They were like that doesn't convey The full depth of flavor Pumpin Spice Latte. Should we make sure they know that it's dessert on a stick and not just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, otherwise they'd be surprised when it's on a stick. It is a bold twist on Fall's most talked about flavor. Rich, creamy cheesecake is blended with the cozy warmth of pumpkin spice and the bold kick of coffee,

then finished with a graham cracker crust for just the right touch of sweetness. It's not finished yet. I know it's not finished yet. There is another step. Another thing's going in there. And white castle, I'm sorry to break it to you. I don't think you guys made up pumpkin spice cheesecake. I don't think this is a bold, as bold and new an innovation on a stick, though, man.

It's not a stick. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think that that's a bold new innovation. Triple cheese tots are another cheese-based addition to the menu. Huh. Infuse. Yeah, this is the same lunatic that just wrote the earlier stuff about jumping the mug.

And now they're back in control. I guess the, I don't know, the triple cheese tauts are another cheese-based addition to the menu, infused with bits of cheddar, Colby Jack, and mozzarella cheese, the triple cheese tauts up the ante on the deliciousness of the classic tater tots. I don't historically think of tater tauts as being an infusible material. Right. I also, I would argue that once one has put triple the cheese in there, are they even tots anymore? I do love the, I think you have something new. The imagery of like a James Bond high class poker game where someone has been like Tater Tots

and James Bond like, I'll up the ante, triple cheese tater tots. I'll see your tots and raise make a run. Mr. Bond, I didn't know you like to live so cheesely. It is, Travis, it is like you wonder about writing is not, does not happen in a vacuum. What is, why are we using poker metaphors here? What is being like, what stakes are we, are we playing with? I didn't know there were other top-based businesses that are now going to feel called out by like, they've done it.

God damn it. I thought we all agreed. Single cheese. We're excited to welcome both of these craveworthy treats to the menu, said Jamie Richardson, vice president at White Castle. The new pumpkin latte cheesecake dessert on the stick is the perfect treat for autumn, blending the coziness of a pumpkin spice latte with the luscious texture of classic. cheesecake. The triple cheese tauts are proof that three cheeses are better than one. Wait. They're the ultimate cheesy companion to any slider combo. There was no bridge between those two. We're missing a participle. There was a hanging participle, a hanging chat on that sentence

that was fucking bewilderate. Guys, this is unedited. Can I also point out that they have now described the pumpkin spice latte cheesecake several times without addressing the on a stick part. They're really cloaking that. Yeah, they won't talk about the stick. Yeah, it's a creamy blend of fall favorite on a stick. And you're really going to love it. It's on a stick. Yeah, it's, like, words don't work this way, but it feels like on a stick has been

Cgi-Ied in somehow. Like, they got it in post. Yeah, on a stick wasn't able to make it to Family Photo Day, so we photoshopped on a stick over dad's shoulder. Accepting the award for it in a normal container this evening. will be on a stick. If they ever, what a, wow, it's so wild to be here. I didn't expect.

I wish they had the courage of their convictions to put out a commercial of just what it looks like when a human being eats one of these things. Because I bet you do look like some sort of runaway, like dogman experiment, just slopping, slopping cheesecake off of a, off to Cobb. I'm just a picture, imagine you have a friend over at your home. And you're like, hey, do you want a piece of cheesecake?

And they're like, yeah, I'd love. that and you started to hand him a fork and they're like no i've got it and they pull a tongue depressor out of their pocket and jam it into the ass of the cheesecake and just start going to town i would worry about them yeah never leave home without it um oh we do have you guys want to see i have a photo here if you'd like to see uh just to demonstrate exactly what we're dealing with hold on oh okay so it's like not uh so it's not corn dog shaped they haven't rolled it into like an easier so it is just a sort of wedge of cheesecake that's that does have

Travis got it in one it does look like a tongue depressor shoved up the wide end the rounded end yeah it's a tongue depressor how do I I guess the eating of it in my car is made easier by that but am I meant to drive away from the drive-thru holding it up thank you right there's Yeah, there's no getting this thing home. There's no box. Justin, sign up for the newsletter. You have to open your mouth and they just pop in it.

Okay, thank you. Take it to go. The release continues talking about the BBQ pulled pork slider. I forgot about him. Yeah, man. He's the most mid of all these. It's smoked with all natural hickory wood and blended with just the right amount of specially seasoned sweet BBQ sauce.

The BBQ pulled pork slider is everything Cravers love about White Castle, including one-of-a-kind flavor, high-quality ingredients, and unbeatable value, all in one handheld masterpiece. So barbecue is a one-of-a-kind flavor? I can't give that anywhere else. The sweet, smoky, and savory profile is a celebration of flavor that brings something entirely new to the castle while staying true to what we do best. satisfying the crave. And I don't know if you heard, Travis, they put just the right amount of sauce on it. So it's not too much or too little. I would love to visit.

That is also what we do best. Yeah, satisfy the crave. I would love to visit like a city I'm not familiar with. I'm hanging out with like my friend Todd. And I'm like, Todd, I've got such a craving for barbecue. What's the best barbecue in town? And he's like, oh man, White Castle. If you want barbecue, there's no place like White Castle.

We haven't had it yet. It might, I always reserve, except for the cheesecake on a stick, I'm going to say pretty authoritatively, I'm not interested in that eating experience. The barbecue might be lit. I don't know. There's an extra cheesy tater tots. I'm not looking forward to that bathroom experience afterwards. No.

Travis, I never do this, but I actually would like to bring you in as a special reporter. I'm just going to text you the rest of this press release because it's going to start to feel made up. I feel like if I do I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through it and I'm already feeling pretty yeah I need you to I need you I'm just gonna I need you to describe this to Griffin's

Griffith is gonna think I'm fucking with it and you're texting it to me on my cellular device it's on slack it's on slack to T baby Craver Nation rewards members we go now live to Travis McRoy special correspondent I'm just so go ahead I'm excited for this opportunity Craver Nation rewards members

rack up on flavor and savings White Castle recently announced the start of season two of its Craver Nation Rewards program, the loyalty experience that turns saving money into a game. Craver Nation Rewards debuted in 2024 with overwhelming success, growing active members by 25% and doubling loyalty transactions in its first year. Now, with season two, Cravers Everywhere are invited to, quote, level up your craving. as they embark on a new journey filled with fresh quests, richer perks, and more exclusive offers.

I mean. Finally, guys, you know what's happening? Why castle's getting fucking real about the fact that it takes place in a castle? If this is going to be the LARPing food place, I'm in. Absolutely, yes. Craver Nation rewards has already transformed the way we connect with our cravers by turning every order into an adventure. Richardson said.

With season two, the journey gets even more exciting. More quests, more rewards, and more ways to celebrate the crave. Now, this is capitalized, this is capital C, which makes me think that there is maybe a powerful wizard at play here or a curse. I'm trying to honestly decide if I walked into a white castle and the expected customer service experience was the Yarl or whatever being like

Dovakin, the crave has, the crave dragon has appeared in the mountain to the east and you want the new cheesy tauts and the thing on a stick? The cheesecake on a stick? Yeah, absolutely got you. Quest complete.

Here's 50 crave coins. Here's 50 crave coins. Guys are already getting amped, huh? I'm getting fucking stuck. I'm getting preempts. I don't know that I want to have that. I don't want to interface with another human being in that way, but I want to have the option available to me. Joining Craver Nation Rewards is free and easy.

Simply download the official White Castle app. Sign up and enjoy an instant welcome offer of $5 off your first mobile order. To celebrate launch, Cravers who order between now and September 30s will score 50 bonus points. Okay. So this is more of an AR kind of quest and journey. I throw on the meta, the meta-ray bands, which looks so fucking cool, by the way. We've been talking about those.

God damn. Those things look so cool, and you know they're doing cool stuff while riding them. And it makes the White Castle look like a real magic fantasy castle and the person at the register look like a dragon.

That sounds cool, White Castle. Make that. Make that. It couldn't be too hard. Here's another question. Oh, please. I take frequent walks, around my neighborhood. Recently, I got in the habit of taking pictures with my phone of plants and animals for the website, I Naturalist, a citizen science platform. It's really cool and fun. This isn't an ad, by the way. I started to worry that you might think it's an ad listener, but it's not an ad. We also, that wasn't an ad for White Castle either. We're not. Yeah. We have never been paid for all the free promotion we've given. Yeah. But I've run into a problem, which is that things I want to take picks of are often either fully,

within a stranger's yard or in such a position that it could look like I was taking a picture of a random person's house, like with birds on power lines. How do I take pictures of these plants and animals without making it look like I'm taking pictures of my neighbor's houses without getting weird looks or questions about what I'm doing? I've missed on so many sweet butterfly and bird shots. That's from Juking Judgment in Georgia. I rarely do this. Okay. Because I know it's not the best energy to bring to the show, but you can't. Oh. There's no way to cloak this action, this behavior that will not intensify the danger of getting caught. There is no amount of subtlety you could employ because if I see you outside my house taking a picture with your phone, my hackles go up.

If I see you outside of my house discreetly like you're checking your watch, but you're taking a picture of my phone, that's bad news bears. That's way, way, way worse. I agree, Griffin. To look discreet is... Noddy. This is why what you must do is the opposite of cloaking it. You need...

I'm saying maybe one of these maneuvers like you see where you're like holding up your finger you're framing the shot. Okay. Maybe you have like a DSLR camera with a Zoom. You're wearing a safari helmet. All bad ideas. The safari helmet...

The safari helmet fucks. That's the one good... Of the things you had, that's the one that fucks. Because if I see a stranger outside my house taking pictures in my house, no good. If I see it, but they're wearing a safari helmet. I'm like, they're on a, they're on their own. Maybe they're doing a White Castle Quest. Like, I don't know what their journey is, but I can't be ill into it.

If you're taking a picture of a little bug on a leaf, get down on its level. If I look outside and someone's laying on the ground, taking a picture of a flower with a bug on it, I'm not worried they're taking pictures of me. Yeah. I'm not a bug on a leaf. Better or worse? Let me get a gut check from you. to better or worse they walk up knock on the door

someone knocks on your door rings the doorbell you answer it and you say yeah can I help you and I realize this is already a fantasy story because I don't know if you would answer it but you've answered it and you're like can I help you and they're like I saw this really cool bug on a leaf out in your yard may I please go snap it? Is that better or worse than them just doing it

discreetly outside? Okay so I'm thinking about it if I'm the homeowner I think my genuine reaction in my I mean like obviously what I'm going to say is yeah absolutely you know knock yourself out in my head I'm going to think

what the hell is wrong with you yeah why did you ask that's so weird just take a picture yeah it would be better it would be better if they did it and came up knocked on the door you answered it again you wouldn't but assuming you answered it and they're like hi

I just took a picture of a cool bug on a leaf in your yard and I'm really sorry and then they walk away then you're not having to give them sort of permission they're just informing you like that not rob me. Yeah, and that can feel good too. What a sign help.

If they were holding up a sign that said nature photographer while they took pictures of things. Yeah. Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. What if you, if you have more than one thing, that's a hobbyist, right? So you're taking pictures on your phone. Yes. Okay.

Do you have a notebook? Yes. Do you have binoculars? These are all things. Wait, Justin, these are still all private. No, no, no, this is all really good stuff, Travis. Sunscreen, a little line of sunscreen on the nose. Sunscreen right here, right?

Water bottle, big water bottle. Yes. Okay, maybe a safari helmet. What about the backpack that's a water thing? That's cool. Yes. Yes. That's somebody who's going to be outside for so long. They can't be doing anything bad with the pictures.

What about a butterfly net? A butterfly net? We're pushing it. Safari helmet has turned on me a little bit because it feels a little costume. me. Now it's gone back around to, oh, this is a fucking ruse to take pictures of my house discreetly. The other shit is like, oh, well, they might just need the butterfly net for

their, for their bug. I don't know how big I would need, I don't know how small I would need the butter, I think a butterfly net I think the butterfly net, the size of it the problem is it's big enough to catch a butterfly comfortably. At 20 yards, that might be a man net. Yeah, it might be like the child catcher and babes into

our jit-chitty-chid-bang. I'm not sure, it's like a big sack over your bag, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Full of screaming butterflies. Right. Exactly. No, honey, don't go outside. The lepidopterist is here.

This is why they got to start selling those cranking cameras. Yeah, the cranking guys, that, that, you're not being discreet. You're being very obvious. It's too, all photography is so discreet. Ooh. What if the drape it over the back that we loved in the old Garagetite Degara type day? You hold up the flash thing where you got a big stick and go powder. I want them to bring that back because I don't know when I'm at a big fancy thing like the launching of a Titanic without a big flash bulb going on.

When to smile? I know that it's so embarrassing. Do you think at this point, by the way, I was thinking about it as I accidentally activated my flash. Is that the point of the flash anymore is just to have something to. turn off just like to do you think we are using do you think that when the flash has been triggered in the past five years is more often been uh accidental of someone saying ah fuck damage shit yeah absolutely absolutely bug net's cool bug net might be the move dude i would love to have a bug net with me do you guys don't have them spotted lanternflies yet do you because we got them like a plague

over here i think they're coming supposed to kill them because they otherwise they eat all the trees like, uh, invasive. So you're supposed to gush them when you see them. But here's the problem gang. They make a big Hakuna Matata style gooey mess when you goosh him. And so like, there is a, there's a, there's a, I don't want to, like, I understand it's my duty as an, as an American citizen. I mean, I live in D.C. So it's like kind of up in the air whether or not I ever not. But I don't want to get my shoes all like Hakuna Matati, Kuna Matati. I don't want me. You need bug squishing shoes. Yeah. Yeah. That's what crocs are for, baby. Or a, or a, or a assault gun. I do have. I do have.

I do have the salt blaster And that's effective But that's not a cool look either Sorry not a salt gun A A gun For Salt

On Bugs A gun for a salt on bugs Salt Sodium chloride There we go Table Brannular

To a bug Portuguese sounds like Portuguese I don't know if that was clear pump blast no more bug can't bring in public can they do salt does salt get them salt gets anything dude man alive this thing is a it is an effective tool it's what it's so good it makes me feel pretty guilty anytime i do have to employ it to keep my family safe i wish it was that easy to get stink bugs i'm about to have to start fight with the stink bugs because they hate it when it gets colds oh yeah man live with me and the only trap that really works for stink

bugs is you got to make basically a pool for them and then you have to get lights on the pool that's just special like you have to specially dramatically light the pool and then you got then you got to hope that these guys go into this pool and they just don't crazy that's crazy that's how you got to get them and in the morning you dump that out i just let them hang out becomes a fun game where my kids oh i don't find them anymore yeah i don't want to i don't want to do it anymore they live they're it's fine they can hang until they find a better spot yeah much. Hey, thanks for listening to our podcast. Do you want to come see us live? You can. Okay. For you, it's an option. If you're someone who can get to Salt Lake City on October 17th or to San Diego on October 18th and 19th.

Oh, the Adventures in a show we're doing is going to be a very special. It's our 50th Taz live show. So we'll be doing a balance live show for the first time in a long time with special guest, Erica E. she and Griffin's going to GM it. It's going to be a wild time. Tickets for all those shows are available now. You can go to bit.ly slash Macroy Tours for all the information and ticket links. Also,

Champions Grove is coming back for year three. We're doing it in Memorial Day weekend of 2026. Tickets are going on sale the first week of November. Those tickets will be packages for two to four people to attend.

All the information is at Championsgrove.com or you can follow Champions Grove on Instagram for all the information. And there's a new season of Mining Teresa's Great British Bakeoff, watchalong discussion podcast, Bake-On. This is a wild season so far. Pretty wild, man. Yeah, you can find Bacon wherever podcasts are found. We got some new merch. It's going to be up in the merch store on Wednesday at the start of the new month. There's a Taz Hunger Beanie that looks so rad.

10% of all our merch proceeds in the month of October will be donated to border angels whose services include educational programs, water drops in the desert, day laborer outreach, familious reunitas, immigration bond fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to help migrants and asylum seekers in need. So all that stuff is going to be over at mackroyd merch.com. Are we grateful to Montaigne? Let me check. Yes.

Check the place. Yes, we are grateful to Montaigne. Why, but why, be specific? For the use of our theme song, My Life is Better With You. Yes, that's exactly right. Yes. I'm super duper, duper grateful to Montaigne.

I've seen a lot of videos at Montaigne just like tearing shit up on stage and I want to go to that. Yeah, it's fine. I've got the fear here. Yeah, please. Yeah, tell me the fear. This year, I will be faster than my fear

of misidentifying birds in front of the cool older birders. They are not better than me. That's good. My name is Justin Macaro. Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, may kiss your dad, square on the lips. It's better with you.

My life. Ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. What's better with you? My life. Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Because it's true, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with two. Oh, it's better with you. Maximum Fun.

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