My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 784: Can You Escape Hatred Cove?

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Fall is in the air, and that means risking our lives for pumpkins and locking up apples in boxes until they turn into iPhones. But it also means a very special report on a certain actor’s illustrious career, from Jumanji to Moana.Suggested talking points: Petey Pupper Puller, Pumpkin Martyr, McConaughey Trademarked Filler Words, Lewd Stitch Memorabilia, Why Are You Doing a Whole Salad About ItBorder Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapping, and two. a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life it feels life life it's better

it's better with you my life ah it's better it's better with you this is true ah It's better, it's better with two

My way Ah, ah, it's better with you Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, me and an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trave Nation? It's me, your middle of his brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolfo, Vroom, Frum, Maceroy.

What's up, Trave Nation? It's your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30, built for tough Macroy. Why did you send me a TikTok, Travis, the second we started recording? Because we were talking about it Right before we started recording

Oh right yeah It was a travel recommendation You're right It was a travel recommendation You're specifically from him I just got the notification quite delayed So I thought you were like Dude you're never going to believe what donkey lips

Looks like now or whatever the fuck The kind of TikToks You would believe it Actually I would absolutely Because I put the gentleman The portrayed donkey lips in a cameo for Travis So he would actually definitely believe What Donkey Lips looks like now

Yeah that's a fair way If you need a cameo, the guy who played donkey Lips really delivered, it was like seven minutes long. It was fantastic. Really, really solid shit. Hey, we were, Rachel and I were talking the other night. Michael Boer. Michael Boer. I apologize.

I felt so bad every time I said the guy who played donkey Lips that was 50 years ago. Yeah, he has a name. Rachel asked me a question. We were talking about. Sorry, I just wanted to clarify, I searched up his name and not his political interest their affiliations. So no. Gang, just as soon.

Not to say it's bad. Not or good. But we don't, we simply don't have time to vet while we're in the fucking flow state. Yeah. Can't vet in the flow state. It's important. Can't vet in the flow.

We were, Rachel and I were talking about our boys and how they are, they're pretty ticklish. They're pretty ticklish little guys. Someone showed that, like, you don't have to be trying to. It just will happen sometimes. And then Rachel said, you're not very ticklish.

I said, no. She said, what about your brothers? And immediately, I was hit with like 15 different feelings, emotions, reactions, reactions, reactions down to my soul. Like, I don't know. I don't know if my brothers are ticklish. Should I know if my brothers are ticklish? Yeah.

How would I know? How could I find out? Did I tickled? I was the little one. Living together as children? I don't think I tickled you guys much, but I was the littlest one. So it felt like the tickling a lot. But I don't think we tickled.

I don't want to call you out, Griffin. But I knew you weren't ticklish. And I know Justin was extremely ticklish. I don't know about his current state. But like what's that I'm feeling regretful now that you brought this up. Yeah. I wish I could go back in time to a time when I was tickling you and say like, remember this. You know, because like I don't.

I don't remember anytime I ever ticked you. It's a thing. Of course I remember you guys tickling me. This is a cute little guy pie. You got to get in there. but I don't remember going after you guys and then I felt like should I have tried to tickle my... Natural order is...

So we know tickling is how bigger mammals teach smaller mammals where the bleeding parts are, right? So it's how you teach them to defend. And so there's no need for you to teach me where not to get... Your bleeding parts are. Yeah. I want to make it absolutely clear.

And you'd go nuts for it, Justin. Laughing, giggling. Griffin, I would pop your toes without warning. You would do that, you nasty fucking hog. Yeah. Until eventually you're like, yeah, okay. You still do that shit. If you catch some puppers out backstage at a show,

you get all five, all five in one go and get like Colin Peety Pupper Puller. Peety Pupper Puller coming around the stinky feet backstage. Peety Puppler pulling perfect puppies. People asking, hey, can we come, let us get some passes back to the green room after the show. I say, you don't want to be there and get your puppies. It's a guest list. I hope you're wearing close-toed shoes. Pumpkin puller.

I'm not- Pumpkin. I'm not tickling my kids. I realize tickling is like a charged subject these days. It just felt like... Is it? I didn't know. I don't know, man. I just felt like I didn't know.

It feels like everything is these days. Should I have known? Should I have, am I a bad? Am I a worst brother for not knowing or? I think on the scale of things you don't know about us. I would say whether we're ticklers or not. isn't high up of bad things to know. Thank you.

Also, you gotta let people grow. Sure. And maybe just because we were ticklish when we were kids, it doesn't mean you know how we're at now, right? I mean, the other day, because Justin's doing a pumpkin carving contest for the Huntington Children's Museum

and he put on the thing that he's allergic to pumpkins. And Teresa asked me like, is that true? And I said, I don't know, which is, I think, on the grand scheme of things, way worse. Way worse. Oh, man.

Okay, so listen. I waited to the last minute to fill out my bio for the pumpkin carving contest for the Huntington Children's Receal. And I said two things in that, in that bio that I wrote.

I wrote in the bio that I did wait to the last minute to do. I wrote that I am deathly allergic to pumpkins. I wrote that I'm deathly allergic to pumpkins and I wrote that if I raised $5,000, I would eat my pumpkin raw. Now, you probably can't guess what state I was in

when I filled out bio materials. Yeah, sure. For children to see them, a pumpkin carving contest. But yeah, I would just love any support I could get there because I did not that, yeah, I don't, that was not true what I wrote. But now the post that they have started resharing are like, we appreciate us in sacrifice. Not a brave hero, yeah, I would say more of a pumpkin martyr.

Well, my bit is going to be, if I can hit 5G's, my bit's going to be the at six G's I no longer have to eat the pumpkin. So it's gonna be, yeah, and I'll keep, like, just holding myself hostage. That's great. That's great. Was that the story you wanted to tell? No.

Wow, you got so fucking yarn spinner over there. You brought up the, interesting shit happens to us. He brought up the pumpkin carving thing. That wasn't even my, I didn't bring that. Yeah, we're not judging you for being a yard. I'm saying you live a life full of stories, and that's like, I'm jealous of that.

Stories of passion, stories of friendship. and tales of how romance survives. Guys, do you ever look back over... Like our past couple months of episodes and think we could have been talking... We could have been doing a Tron Watch and how that makes you feel. We let that one slide right on.

Let's let next episode be very, very Tron Watch-centric travel. Let's put the time in, because I don't want to throw that together. Instead, I just want to follow up on the Rocksker real quick. Fucking, yeah, man. Yeah, man. This is, guys, sometimes I feel like the universe is kind of forming things around me, and I think that's a pretty human experience, right?

You got to shake it. But sometimes all the time, you feel like that. Sometimes 100% of the time. Sometimes 100% of the time. I try to fight that urge, because I don't think it's healthy. But I was watching the only perspective I've got, Justin. Kind of fucked up to say right in front of time. I was watching the Graham Norton show with my wife.

And your wife was on the Graham Norton show? That's a huge thing. That would be a huge get with it. Did she say shit about our show? No, no, they had a huge, they had huge wattage. They had Emily Watson. Yeah. And James Norton, I think it was his name.

Wait, Emma Watson? What? Emma Watson? Emily Blunt. Different, yeah. James Norton. I think is his name, right? Yes, he's an actor, James Norton. There is an actress named Emily Watson, who is in Punch Truck Love.

No, this is Emily Blunt. Okay. James Norton. Wow. And Graham Norton, the host of the Graham Norton show, no relation. Be fucked up if he wasn't there, man. And Matthew McConaughey. Oh, all right, all right.

And the rock. Look up at the sky is a pitch black void because all the stars are. So, guys, I want to tell you that the subject of the rock and the rock scur and the rock transformation came up. And it came up at a time when Matthew McConaughey was also on stage. and what transpired was so fucking great that I wanted to include basically eight minutes of the Graham Norton show in our show.

I don't think you are allowed to... No, but if we could... Can you imagine? There is no, like, podcast board authority who could, like, do fucking anything to us at this point, but we should probably be better. Yeah, so what there is not a law against, though, is watching it over and over.

and over again and transcribing it yourself by hand and then having your brothers read it with you to like recreate. There's no law against that at all. Okay. So who's he going to give the rock to? Probably Juster's going to take that. Well, I wanted to ask you guys if you guys were going to be, if one of you was the rock and one of you was Matthew McConaug, while I'm sharing this, I wanted you guys to figure it out. I'll be Graham Norton, but like, something would do a better McConaug than me. Travis has just grabbed a jug. Well, I had an empty jug up there and I didn't want to show it Oh, I thought you were getting a fucking prop because you're like, here's the rock and his jug.

Everyone knows. The rock is never without his special jug. He's great in his jug. He's practicing for our live action Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas. Yeah, sure. With the rock as the jug band's... I bring no hole in the washtub.

Even though this will be a dramatic section of the show, I do want to encourage, if we need to take a break at any point for discussion, it's a deeply encouraging. incredible thing that exists, and I don't want to rush through it. Are you... Have you received the script? It's called the Rock Script.

Through what medium will we be receiving this? I shared it in your email address. Okay. You can look in your email address. You should see it there. I will say written out. Written out, it does look like it says Rockscar, which is like... Yeah, it's hard to say the Rockscar.

It's part of the appeal. Now, I will say this. Please don't read ahead. First thing, because we need it fresh. Second thing I'll say is that... I did my best of transcribing it. Please don't make any bits about how it's transcribed. Just like do your best because obviously...

I'll do my very best, too. There's no humor in that because I did my best. Let's just let's start here. Can we start here? I don't think it would be particularly hard to throw together a Graham Norton impression. I think any one of us can handle that. Right. The rock will be tough because his voice isn't just deep.

It is, there is a richness to it that is hard to emulate if you just don't got the vocal cords for it. I think we start with Matthew McConaughey assigning that one because it feels like that's the one that a bad version of is going to stick out the most. Okay. So just... I will... It's just that Matthew McConaughey talks the most in this section,

and I don't want it... You don't want it to sound like a bad Matthew McConaughey impression the whole time? I just don't want it to feel like I would read... A joke. Yeah. Okay, Griffin, I'll take a shot of McConaughey. You take a shout at the rock. Okay.

but let's use just sort of our normal voices with a little bit because Justin's right we don't want the joke to be our impressions. He worked pretty hard on this. Okay. Thank you. It should be about the words. Justin's not going to say that out loud. It's unreal that Matthew McConaughey is still McConaughey as hard as he is and I am so fucking happy. Okay. I'm so happy. All right. You know the D.R. timeout, so I'll stop it right here because I think it's better if we stop it right away instead of get into it and then have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. up the flow state. We did just say we weren't going to do like crazy impressions. Yeah, unless it's like fucking sick. Yeah, but you understand that by you didn't say unless it's sick. By doing that you are you are casting a shadow over Travis and I.

So do you want the joke to be about the words or the voices? No, no, no, no. Okay, I'll be Graham Norton. I'm just making that clear. But he only taught, the only other thing is Griff, he only talks for like one little section. So I just wanted to have a little bit of fun for the one bit that I get to

For sure, for sure. But people are going to be thinking about that because it is the introduction while me and Travis are reading. The important words you wrote, they're going to be thinking. Also, what a sign of a great interviewer, you know what I mean? Sure. Is he just lets the people talk? Okay. I'll let it.

Yes, you're right. Okay, you're right? You're right. You're right? And I'm sorry. Here we go. You know the idea of Dwayne Johnson disappearing in the way, just so we're clear, that is where we're at now, folks. Okay.

Dwayne Johnson. Cool. the idea that Dwayne Johnson disappearing in any role, you kind of think, oh, how can you transform? But you do what? And it's not just a physical thing because it's obviously this hair. But what other things went on? It was about 22 prosthetics. We had Kazuhiro, our Oscar winning prosthetic artist, and he helped me transform. There was also vocal transformation too. But the idea I think of transforming for me was something that, you know, I didn't know that I was. I didn't know that was for me, and I wanted to do that because a lot of times in the movies that I've made in the past, the bigger movies, they're big and they're fun, and I've liked them from Jumanji to Moana, and I'll go back to those. He says that, dude, he says, from Jumongi to Moana. JuMongi, Moana, bananas by the bunch. A box that got to taste so good.

Okay. And I'll go back to those, but there was. something about this opportunity where there was a little, there was a voice behind my rib cage that was just telling me, right? So I had shared this. Does he mean his heart? This is the first time the Rocks ever listed to his heart. It was like, I'll feel it. It was, uh, I don't know, a voice behind my rib cage. What's in there? My lungs? So I had shared. I looked at a building and thought, what if it didn't explode? So I had shared this with Emily for years. Like, Emily, who? Sorry, the Rock.

Sorry, Emily Blunt or Watson from Punch Drunk Love, one of this year. For years, it's just, it's gnawing at my gut to do more and challenge myself and grow and do something where I'm not chasing box office, but I'm doing it for me, yeah. And it wound up being the most greatest, most gratifying thing. And I've said this before, and I mean it. The smashing machine changed my life. Okay, now, this is important. So far, Matthew McConae has not, to this point, as far as I can, o'clock spoken at all on the whole second at all on this entire episode of the graham norton show

period maybe at the beginning it's like some like whatever but then like matthew mcana he is fully awoken by the story that the rock has just told about the jury for the rock sker Travis if you would and and travis again this is quite a quite a speech so just don't we are yeah yeah i have that 4 a.m. in my solitude now wait now let me stop you right here because we were both So brave. I had that 4 a.m. In my solitude on my own truth that hit me. Fucking good start.

It's like a butterfly. Guys, you got to let me get a rhythm going. Yeah, you've got to let him get through a sentence, Griff. You're right, you're right. You're right. Got to let me get a rhythm going here, okay? Okay. I had that 4 a.m. in my solitude on my own truth that hit me.

That lands like a butterfly and strikes like a lightning bolt at the same time. That truth that you go, okay. Tomorrow when the sun comes up. Now, Griffin, do not read along. Focus on your brother. Just listen to your brother right now. I'm going to full screen my brother. Yeah.

I don't think The Rock talks again at this fucking second. So I'm clocked out. That truth that you go, okay, tomorrow when the sun comes up and I'm back in the masses and all the world's coming at me and all those offers, I need to remember this truth. Now, I've been trying to get dramas and was even offering huge pay cuts. And they were like, no. Stay in your lane, McConaughey. You're the rom-com guy. You got that down.

Mind you, I enjoyed them. But I was wanting to do something different. Because I couldn't do what I called. From Jumanji to Moana. I am like you. Please ask me to do more of those, please. If my brother my brotherly episode goes by where I do not say from Jumonti to Moana, I failed.

Okay. I said, wait. Yeah, but I was wanting to do something different because I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I said, I got to stop doing what I'm doing. So I said, no more, no more rom-coms. uh called the agent i said let the town know it's not going to happen i went to texas camilla's pregnant on the ranch quiet down there camilla says to me look you don't know how long it's going to be dry how long you're going to not go with work this could go on but this is

non-negotiable we're not going back i was like not going back now a year goes by no nothing nothing he did go dark for a bit i called my agent i called All my agent, he goes, Matthew, I haven't heard your name in six months. Am I going, okay, I may have just wrote myself a one-way ticket out of Hollywood. I start to think about other vacations, schoolteacher, other vocations, schoolteacher, a wildlife guide. Maybe I go back to law school. Now we will take a brief rest of here.

How much, how little of this syllabus is Matthew McConaughey, the school teacher going to cover in any given day? I feel like you're going to get, once you reach long time, yeah, I did say only 16 questions today before we even get started. But Todd, yeah, go. Go, please. In Sahara, when you were working with, yeah, I was not even thinking about, of course, the constant Q&A people would have. I was just thinking Matthew McConaughey trying to like, you know, get into the Battle of Versailles

and just really just taking a long time, taking a long walk to get there. His vocations that he lists off are school teachers. school. And listen, I'm not one to hate on Hollywood people. They're working hard and I'd love to be one. But it does show a little bit of a disconnect with the job market when you're trying to think of jobs and you're like a school teacher, wildlife guide. Yeah. And then maybe to me the most go back to law school. Okay, but like if you were to look at Matthew McConaughey, I think this There's a wonderful awareness of who Matthew McConaughey is as a person. Like, if I wasn't doing this, probably like a fucking teacher or a wildlife guy or something.

What if he kept going? Or like a treasure hunter or an astronaut physicist. Travis, I thought you'd be more excited that the Lincoln lawyer was so close to being an actual reality. Justin, this is what I'm saying is he has done quite a few movies where he has been a log. guy. Yeah, for sure. My question is, was there a time when Matthew McConaughey was in law school that now would necessitate going back to...

I mean, let's hope, right? Yeah, let's hope. There's more. Back to the script. All right. 18 months goes by. I really think I've done it. I'm out.

I get this romantic action comedy. It comes with an $8 million offer. I read it. I passed. I say, no, thank you. It comes back with a $10 million offer. I said, no, thank you. comes back with a $12 million offer.

I said, no, thank you. It comes back with a $14.5 million offer. I said, let me read that thing again. Same words as the $8 million offer, but it was better. It was funnier. I could see myself that. This could work, right? But I ultimately said no.

This fucking story, by the way, killed. I was, like, dying on the ground. Oh, for sure. About that fucking, it's funnier. I could see myself in it. Fucking love Matthew McConaughey, still in his element. Everyone else on stage, still just kind of listening to Matthew McConaughey, he can, he can, oh, sorry, Graham Norton just says something here. That must be so hard to say no to.

It was. But if saying no to it, I think sent a little invisible message to Hollywood. Oh, McConaughey is not bluffing. We were talking about not flinching. Yes, ask permission. Oh, he's playing offense. He's not just doing nothing. play he's he's he's he's on to something and 20 months two months after i turned that down the offer

came in that i was looking for and they came in in droves it went killer joe mud the true detective dallas buyers magic mike that came in everything i was looking for and i would not have they would not have come in if i wouldn't have unbranded for that 20 months yes all right now dwayne you didn't have to unbrand. You had enough steam going. I can make whatever choice I want and I'm going to make this thing happen over here. It was a time for me where I had to unbrand and it took 20 months. But then I was doing and all of a sudden my work was challenging the vitality of my life. I was like, there you go. Yeah, I know. Absolutely. He puts a lot of, he throws a lot of like seasoning on the of his sentences, which I guess like he came up with to be like, yeah, today I went to the doctor

and I got some routine lab work done. Yeah. All right. All right. It is his like, but he's like, he spends it a little bit just to give himself another half second to come up with like just the dopeest stuff. Yeah, we all have filler words. His just happened to be fucking chill ass trademarked famous movie. Yeah. That's cool. The idea that the rock would be like, but this is the moment that I got to see is like the rock being like, I'm trying so hard to get the rock skir. And there's like nobody that could appreciate my

journey. And then Matthew McConaughey's like, well, hold on now. Hold on one second. Hold on. You have a great thing about that story. Yeah. It keeps getting older. Yeah, I keep seeing myself in it. That is. I also I want to point out. Guys,

that was fucking great. Really, really, really, really unhinged. Really, truly, truly, like, peak. uh outer space fucking space alien shit outside of matthew mccanehaye on a talk show if you're out at a party and just some random person you're talking and they jump in with this the only response you will logically give us okay all right so what i was saying was i do think it's a little fucked how he says you didn't have to unbrand the rock you you were a smashing machine already and the stars really aligned for you to that i would say hey matt mccanay

Why not just be in a really good rom-com? You want to be pushed and challenged and get big awards for your work. Just be in a super good rom-com that does that. This is what the rock. All the rock asked is, I would like to still play a wrestler. I just don't want to also wear a dress. Yes. I want to be a wrestler.

I just also don't want to be the tooth fairy and have magic powers. Yeah, that's all that much. If I would like to be a big man that throws people around but not work for Santa Claus, if that's possible. Yeah. Well. Actually, I haven't seen the smashing machine. I don't know for sure that that guy doesn't work for Santa Claus.

The smashing machine? Yeah. He does. It's not brought up in the trailers, but you can't show everything. I don't think the softies would pedal in such low-brow mainstream ideas. Should we do a question on our advice show? I'd love to. Yeah.

In our storytelling world, you can't control box office. office results. But what I realize you can't control is your performance and your commitment to completely disappear and go elsewhere. And I will always run to that opportunity. It was my honor to transform in this role for my director, Benny Sadfie. Thank you, brother, for believing in me. Truth is this film has changed my life with deep gratitude, respect, and radical empathy. DJ. Can I also point out, Justin, that another theme, yeah, a clear theme is he wants that Roxca. Another clear theme is he doesn't think this movie

is going to do well at the box office. Travis, that is settled almost guaranteed. It's, Travis, that is settled. It looks to lose between 10 to 15 million dollars. Yeah. Now, the question you're asking yourself is, how many little gold statues gets you fought with that money well?

Well, we shall see, I suppose. We shall see. Well, perhaps the perhaps the losses are not so great when one's going home with Oscar Gold. I can't fucking... No price too high for the Rocksker. I can't care this much about the results of an Oscar.

I can't have that hanging over me. I can't be watching the Oscars fucking scared that it won't happen. That assumes that you are... That assumes there's going to be a period between the nominations and the awards where you're still wondering if the Rock will be winning it or not. So I hope you're right. I hope you're right. I would love for just a nod.

The nod would be a huge victory. The nod would be huge, but it's not the same. You can also live in the comfort, Griffin, of knowing that because we live in a multiverse, no matter what happens, there is a universe that exists somewhere where the Rock maybe wins all of the Oscars that night. That's true. Anything's, yeah. But Travis, in that, what you're saying, though, is in that, in some reality, the Rock, is winning an AVN award for the smushing machine. You know, like, you could apply that to anything.

I didn't say, oh, I said all the ask, well, yes, Justin. The rock could not be the rock, but instead, like, a Hyundai Sonata that you can drive around in. Like, it's in a nearly infinite multiverse, perhaps infinite. And if you put an Apple in a box forever, eventually it'll turn it to an iPhone. That's, saw that on, on YouTube, guys. Huh. a rock can neither be created nor destroyed man we got to do a question at some point but if you put an apple in a box forever eventually it'll take every form of matter and be everything all it could it could possibly become including an iPhone

what i said wasn't any different from what you said now hold on because i also want to point out driven that implies it could happen right away no it'll take a minute so there has to be a set amount of time You can't just say for forever. There's got to be a set amount of time between Apple and iPhone that you don't need to check the box. If you put all the Apple particles in the box, they'll dissolve and turn into different particles

and they'll bounce off each other, turn into anything and be any form of matter imaginable in this magic box. It's a pretty kick-ass box. You can put anything in it and it'll be in an iPhone. Forever? In 600 trillion years? No, for like a little bit. What are you making a box out of that's lasting forever?

Can we do a question? Yeah. My friend's grandma makes cool quilts, and I don't want to get one of them. The problem is I never met her grandma, and I can't think of a not rude way to ask my friend to ask her grandma to make me a quilt. My birthday is in a couple months. How can I subtly hint to my friend that to get me a quilt from her grandma and make her think it was her idea? That's from quizzical quilt quandary in Queens. Wow.

Huh. It's a heck of a thing to ask someone's grandma. It's like The quilt is like The gift of the grandma Do you know what I mean? I have my one I got a quilt from my granny

Yeah And I got one And I don't use it Ever Because if something happened to it I would be heartbroken That's my one I got That's his one he got

That's my one And more importantly He didn't have to reach out To Granny on Etsy To get her to make it for him. It was just a sort of gift of the grandmother. I do love the idea of like just sitting there and being like, hey, your grandma made this kick-ass quill. How much does she charge for quills? Yeah. How much do you think raw materials plus labor for your grandmother?

If I give her a bunch of old fabric things that mean a lot to me, will she make me one? Here's a box with a hundred t-shirts in it. Tell you, grandma. Here's a box with a hundred apples in it. How long before it turns into a quilt from your grandma? It'll turn into 100 quilts, Travis. It could turn into anything. No, if there's more apples in the box, you didn't have it faster. So. You could do a Tuesdays with Mori in this scenario would be a good thing.

God, so many situations. If you go to your grandma, if you say, Hey, I heard your grandma will be passing away soon. Wait, why would you say that? I would love to spend some power with her. I would just love to spend some time with her before she passes away and I

I would just love it if she could teach me how to live by showing me how to die if your grandma could do that and maybe how to quilt and that's what they said and the guy says that in Tuesdays

I don't want to learn how to quilt this person's pretty clear about that they don't want a hobby they want a quilt my favorite part of Tuesdays in Mori is when Mori is like I'm about to I'm fixing to die but first, I'll teach you how to lose.

Yeah, that is what it is. I mean, that is what it is what it says. What it says on the jacket, you know, that is. Yeah, but the guy doesn't go to Mori and say, hey, you're looking not so great before you go. And Mori's like, what the fuck? What are you talking about? Yeah.

Is that what happens in the book? Yeah, man. It's like very much about that. But you don't say that. Yeah, dude. That's why it was so sad and everybody was so horny for it because it was such a huge bummer. You're hanging out with Mori and his dog Marley

And you're like Hey, you two look like you're gonna die Marley amy is another It's the exact same premise Yeah, it's the exact same premise This is Mori Yeah, but with that dog I

You're this, I don't If you want a quilt I'm sure you can There are quilt artists in your area That you could contract to do this What is it about these grandmas quilt? Is it because it would be presumably gratis If that's your logic?

It sounds like it's a real dank quilt. Maybe it's a really dank quilt, but it's, that's grandma's gift, guys. Like... It's like a grift of a grandma. Are you willing to put in the work? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because, like, grandma means, like,

you got to take the calls. You got to put in the phone calls. You got to buy the, you know, you got to buy the frame. You got to buy the aura frames. You got to do it. You got to put it in. And not just until you get the quilt, because she'll repossess that shit. She'll show up. She will take your

quilt back. What? No, she won't. If you stop taking the calls, she'll show up and take the quilt, yeah. No, the quilt has got, if the, if the grandma gives away the quilt, if the grandma gives away the quilt too early, that's not grandma. You know, you got, why buy the grandma if you can get the quilt for free? Am I right? Right. Thank you for saying it, Treve. Thank you. We're all thinking it. I bet she would be, I bet you get burned like that with one grandkid. You're not going to let that shit fly with another one. You'll know. You'll know the real lesson. You want a what now?

Oh, so you can fucking bail? Because we're supposed to go to Bonnaroo. I'll add one square for every Bonneroo you take me to. Fucking, that's good. That's good. What about bumbershoot doing two a year? No, fucking Bonaroo only. Bonaroo only, the hottest Junest son.

That would be a sick. A great person is three squares. It's a system. It's a bargaining system. them. It's like, if you take me to lunch, that's like one quarter of a square. And I'll, like, I'll maybe put like a one small sandwich or something in there. But like, if it's a really good dinner, I might do a bigger steak in there and I'll take a more of a quilt, you know what? It's like a bigger square.

If we go see a movie together and it turns out I don't like it, I'll take the square away. Yeah, unstitch it. Better research that film before you take me. If it is a stitch, if it's a stitch movie, then I'll put double because I love stitch. I love stitch so much. I'll just get in the mood. food and four. But it will be, I'll put like four stitch squares whether you like stitch or not. And sometimes you'll just be talking, if you say some dope shit,

like, Grandma, you might be dying so I can learn how to live, I'll smile and I'll put a square in right there. So you know that was dope. That was great shit. That'd be sick if grandma's like, I'm going to make you a quilt, but it's going to all be stitched, because I love Stitch. Yeah.

Why do you think I got into sewing? Oh, damn, that would be so brutal if you're like, yeah, I'll make a quilt for your friend. You shows up, it's just all stitch. But it's your friend's stitch. It's a stitch wifu blanket. Yeah. What's that, Travis?

I don't know what a blanket. I'd rather not talk about it. I know what a, like, a pillow is, but a blanket. Like, it's a, it's a quill with like a sexy bikini stitch on it that you would wrap yourself up in to feel love. In quilt form? Yeah. My understanding is that those were usually, that's usually the domain of pillows, because then there's a, there is a, depth to it.

That's why they can only get it from this grandma. She's the only person making wifu quilts. She's the only one making lewd quilts. Lude stitch memorabilia. It doesn't have to be lewd,

Griffin. It could be beautiful. Okay. Okay. Hey, let's go the money, son. Spread eagle. I'm sorry? You didn't have to.

The door was right there. When you're feeding yourself, there are so many factors to consider. Oh. How much time you've got. What ingredients you have in the home? If you're definitely looking to realize this, chat, you're about to realize this. Travis just set up a fucking banger with that. But there's one factor you don't have to worry about.

The company we're doing is factor. You're going to be like, God damn. Good one, Traff. Griffin. I'm just trying to hype you up, dude. Can we strike that from the record? Can we? That I'm hyping you?

No, but you said the reveal. Well, that's only so they know when you hit it later that they're going to be like totally amped because they'll know what I was just about to hit it. Okay, well, go ahead. You're the one holding it up now. I'm sitting here waiting, watching. The one factor you don't have to worry about is factor meals because they. What did I tell you, folks? He's done it again.

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That's really good. I love the variety of options. I love knowing it's there for me. Like this week, just this week. I'll give you an example. Here's a ready-to-made meal. Two minutes, you could be eating pepper fondue shredded chicken. What?

How about some sweet potato grits and sage chicken? Oh, shit, that sounds good. I don't know if I do. It sounds great. Like, and it's made by actual, you know, actual people that actually care about what the food tastes like. This isn't AI food. No, this is real human food for real people.

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Griffin, do you watch Love Island? No, I watch Love Island. No, I watch Love Island is weirdly the only one of those that I don't watch. I love islands. Son of a gun. This is going to be tough. So you guys are going to have to help me decode this and we're just going to do a little guesswork here, maybe a little quick Googling. I watched so many shows like Love Island, I think I can probably... I just wanted to tell you, Griffin, that Sweet Green launches new Ranchi Badi Bowl in partnership with Love Island reality TV stars.

Ranchi Badi Bowl? Ranchi Badi Bowl. Ranchi Badi Bally. Oh, yeah. On the heels of Sweet Green's viral fall campaign featuring Nick Van Steenberg, Nickelandria Nation fans. Now that Nicolandria Nation is the name of the fans

of the pairing of Nick Van Steenberg and O'Londria, Carthin. Okay. Okay. So. It's not a good format. They are a very famous. The names together. Thank you, Travis.

Yes. they're a very famous and loved couple from Love Island. So to answer the question of where's Alondria, Sweet Green responded with a co-created co-lab bowl that's as extra and iconic as this breakout couple themselves.

The Ranchi Badi Bowl is the perfect mix of heat and crunch and is available for a limited time at participating locations nationwide starting October 6th. Can I tell you, Justin, so far in this press release, I don't know what food is contained within the

ranchy baddie bowl. That's okay. You don't need to know that shit. I'm looking at Mr. Nicholas Van Steenberg right now, and he looks so much like James Marsden, it's kind of crazy. I think I'm going to, I'm going to make a prequel show called Like Isthmus. Yeah. And if you, if you do well on like Isthmus, then you get to go. You start at Neutral Peninsula. Yes. You have to climb your way there from minor sort of dislike delta but can you escape hatred cove everyone's fighting in hatred cove you get bumped back down too you fuck up you got to fight your way out of hatred cove the whole time you're on hatred cove it's like so weird because you're like i thought this was the beach that makes you oh i thought this was old beach it's hate cove that's a different

old beaches across the across the pond yeah and unlike isthmus you're They are to make friends. The ball features kale, white rice, black and chicken, shredded cabbage, tortilla chips, sweet potatoes, jammy tomatoes, and crispy onions. There's four things in the other that would run right through me, and I will not say much for. But it is sweet, spicy, and a little chaotic in all the right ways to make sure everyone's heads turn. This drop celebrates how sweet green and Nickelandria Nation come together around food that tastes amazing and feels even better to eat. Oh, bold. A bold, hey, this is for all those people out there who don't like shitty gross food.

Listen to this one, listen. Alondria and Nick are rallying Nicolandria Nation to help make the Ranchi Badi Bowl the top seller at Sweet Green. I should hope so. Yeah, I would hope they'd be putting their back into it, man. Yeah, but are you supposed to say that? Like, I don't think you're supposed to say that in it. I don't think you're supposed to say like... In the commercial, we're trying really...

We're giving it our all. You can throw them away if you don't want it. Just buy it, please. It helps us. I wish I could go back later and be like, hey, was there a Nicolandria Nation? Did it? Did it, they come in to buy your salad? I would be very interested in that.

I mean, it's no Trave Nation, that's for sure. Sweet Green has always been about. Sweet Green, if you want to reach out to me with a Trave Nation salad, it's right there. I famously ate salad for many days in a row. It's true. It's all anyone ever talks about. Yeah. Sweet Green has always been about listening.

Thank you for asking, Justin. What would be in my salad? Yeah, I was actually dying to know. Thank you. Thank you for asking. Peanut Butter M&Ms. Crazy. Fucking awful.

That's all done. You know that the disappointed sort of like lean back drink look doesn't work as good when you are drinking from a Disney on Iceman and a mess cup. It's not for you. God damn. I just wanted to enjoy some of my protein coffee. Yeah.

In peace. But you're doing it out of it. Out of a big child's cup, I will say. That's the only way I have room to mix the old coffee and the protein drink. It is not fair. It is not fair. In a chocolate milkshake, but in a bowl. Yeah, so no leaves.

Sweet green has always been not listening to our chocolate is from a plant, Griffin. Welcome to Sweet. I'm Travis. Here's my sweet bowl. Fans want a Nicolandria, and we're excited to deliver a bowl that chanhas her bowl. All right, finish. Because in that cold milkshake. Travis, I'm done with the interruptions.

now I need to know more about this bowl, so I have more to joke about. Fans want to Nicolandria, and we're excited, we're excited to deliver a bowl that channels their bold energy while staying true to our ethos, food that's fresh, flavorful, and rooted in real ingredients from farmers and partners we know and trust. There's an editor that went over this that saw the usage of the words bowl and bold one word apart, and we're like, that feels like something we should cut, but then they remembered what they were editing and they're like oh fuck what am i doing i don't have any time for it how would you guys feel if someone could sum up your personal ethos with a ranchy batty bowl with a ranchy

batty bowl salad pretty fucking good honestly it would probably save me a lot in like therapy and a lot of the work that i have to do would be way easier if i had a self-reflecting oh you want to get to know what i'm all about just eat this salad eat this salad then this is where i'm trying to keep my Spirits up, guys, but like, well, hold on. Let me just... Working with Sweet Green on the Ranchi Badi Bowl has been such a fun ride, said Nick Van Steenberg. We loved creating something together that we can't wait for the fans to try. I don't think that's what his voice would...

He's so handsome. I do not think his voice would sound like that. The fans asked, and Sweet Green delivered, said Olandria Carthin. Getting to create this boat with Nick has been such a blast. The Ranchi Badi Bowl is spicy, playful, and packed with personality. And we can't wait for... everyone to taste it. I just feel like you should, this is me now, I just feel like you should be able to go into a fucking salad store without having to know the neologism that Instagram is cooked up for the celebrity couple du jour. You know what I mean? Like can I, do you want a ranchy batty bowl? What the fuck are you talking about? We made it with Nicolandria Nation. Go, stop. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's. Give me that bowl of peanut butter Eminemps and milkshake. What does BTS want me to have?

I mean, you can say I'm going to McDonald's, but sometimes McDonald's would be like, do you want what BTS is having? They will explicitly be like that sometimes. I'm complaining about McDonald's too. I shouldn't have to know who someone is. They just, if you're going to, if you're going to do a food, if you're going to do a food deal with someone,

they should be famous for doing food properly. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Kitty Rogers Roasters is where we went wrong. Why didn't anybody listen to him about chicken? Start there. He did the gambler and islands in the stream, you know?

Yeah, absolutely. And Michael Richards Spaghetti Factory. Got to. Did you guys know that that was the first two words of spaghetti factory before they put some distance between themselves and Mr. Richards? Did you know that, listener? It's true. That man loves spaghetti and...

And making it. And making it and really going off the chains with some friends. really, really, really racist, really, really, really super- My brother used to host a podcast about reality dating shows. Sure. And if he doesn't know. I don't know. Then why are you doing an entire salad about it?

It makes me so angry. Yeah. I mean, I still probably wouldn't have followed it. Just sweet green sort of works in sort of food materials that I don't, that my body sort of does reject via osmosis if I, if I go, if I over-indulge. I've got to do another question. Recently, my husband and I were at a restaurant and overheard another couple talking about the other types of cuisine they enjoy.

They described a few dishes that my husband and I knew, but they couldn't remember the name of. We both really wanted to tell them the dish names, but felt too awkward cutting into a private conversation. Is there a graceful way to cut into a conversation with vital information that the other party so desperately needs without seeming like an eavesdropping creep? That's from Holly Pruitt, Georgia.

Okay. Straight up and down, I think, quick, quick one. No. No. It's like, we have a whole thing about that. No, okay, now hold on. Here we go. Here's my question for you guys.

Is this one that you included because you knew that you were going to have the nasty boy argument for it? No, no, no. Yes. So my question is, is there a level of private conversation, noise level in public where it becomes a public? conversation by defa if you're talking about it loudly enough that i'm a table over yeah and i know exactly what you're talking about i don't think that's a private conversation let me let me i'm an incredible observer of the human condition go ahead the idea that i wouldn't perceive everything going on around me with perfect clarity is truly truly unhinged of course i'm seeing everything it's it's

courtesy yeah and i'm acting like i'm not observing the entirety of the world around me at all the at all times because you don't want that pressure You don't want the, we all know when we're out at a restaurant that everyone is listening to everything that we are saying, but we don't need the pressure of them confirming that for us. I was at, I was at, Rachel and I went to a dim sum, Michelin star dimsum restaurant in Hong Kong, and we got in there, and it was just, it was just long lunch table seating. It was just long, unbroken lunch table seating. And we were, you know, elbows to asses with people dining next to each other across from just absolute strangers. and even then, Travis, I do not think it's okay to be like, I think you mean Caccioi Pepe.

Like, I don't think you're allowed to do that. I don't think you can. Is there a level of frustration that the people talking about it reach and not being able to think of it at which point you are doing a service so welcome that you won't be shunned for it? No. Okay. No.

I don't think there's any daylight. here, man. The only time, the only time, I will sometimes, here's what I will say, the only move where you can maybe

get in there is sometimes I will be having a conversation with someone and I will realize that I have said something so loudly unintentionally that it has

become a more public conversation. And then at that point I might try to throw out like, I meant to do this the entire time kind of like, right everybody? You know what I was actually

trying to bring us all in. I wasn't. I just start yelling. for no reason. But if they're trying to play that off, then maybe you can slide in with like, actually, you were also robbing them

of that great moment like 30 minutes later or on the drive home where one of them just immediate like it clicks finally and they're like, Kachui Pepe, and then they laugh

and they kiss and they fall off because of that moment. They really wanted the answer they would Google it, right? Isn't that the implication? Yeah. Yeah.

If you do that to me, I will assume you just Googled it faster than I did. probably using some wasteful AI and then I'm going to... Sorry, my mid-journey glasses tell me that you wanted me to say

Kachio-e-pepe. I'm not even sure with that mid, but I got a prompt that said go say Kachui-Pipe to those people. So I'm just coming over to say that. My meta-oracles actually heard you before you said out loud

what you were saying, and Kachui-pepe Katsue-e-pepe. The specs said so. Zuckerberg asked me to come ask you to review this place on Google Mesa. maps if you wouldn't mind thank you are they always watching their glasses so i hope so i can close my eyes but they're cover them good i guess i just think we're a little too disconnected

absolutely we are fully travis 100 percent yeah we're not going to start building bridges by correcting each other at rest yeah but like but like Travis you're 100 percent right but if you walk over to be like catch your pepe the person at the table is not going to be like yes it starts tear you know what I mean like embrace me you guys take me in your arms hold me done this before and I am a welcomed addition to any table and friend group I think love it when I help them remember the names of cuisines that they like I that's possible that's possible I think it's possible I think maybe 30% of people will receive that and they'll like it so maybe you've just gotten kind of lucky yeah and I will also say Travis there's a big difference between getting

corrected and getting corrected by a world famous podcaster you know what I mean like of course are going to be a little excited. That is true, because usually when I'm like, is it Kachiapepebi? Hi, I'm Travis Nacro. I got a little glitter on your shoulder. Hi, on Travis Sackero. I'm going to actually, there's a definitive answer to this

that we have not even considered yet. And it is absolutely no, because what if you're wrong? Oh, chill. Can you fucking imagine you walk over there? No, that wasn't it? They're like, what was that dish? It was like a noodles with a white sauce. Are you sure?

And you roll up like, uh, Kaccio I pepe? And they're like, no, Fetuccini Alfredo actually we were thinking of. It's crazy. I couldn't remember the name of that. You being such a turd reminded us of the right answer. We hate you. We hate you so much. You're welcome.

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Hey, this week we're going to be in Salt Lake City in San Diego. Will you please come see us? Please. It's our last shows of the 20 Thunder Drive tour. We're going to be doing the 50th Taz Live. That's wild. We're going to be going back to balance for this show.

we're going to have Erica Ishi as a special guest and Griffin McElroy will be GMing that if you're coming to a boom-bam show and you got a question you want answered or fear you want read aloud email that MBMBAM at maximum fun.org put your city

in the subject line. More info and ticket links are available at bit.orgia 4.m. slash mackleroy tours. But here's the exciting news. It's not our last show of the year. No, it fucking isn't, man. Yeah. Because this... I said it was the last show of our 20 Thunder Drive tour. Yeah, but it's not the last show of the year.

No way. Because this year for Candle Nights, we're going back to Huntington, doing a live show, but you can still join us even if you can't make the trip in person because we're doing the in-person show, December 6th at 7 p.m., tickets on sale this Friday, October 17th at 12 m. Eastern Time, which includes the virtual stream ticket because we will be streaming a digital premiere of the recording of the show with bonus behind-the-scenes footage, all kinds of stuff. that premieres on December 19th at 9 p.m. Eastern Time will be in the chat for the premiere and there will be video on demand access through January 3rd. Tickets are available now

and all proceeds from the show will be donated to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs. Tickets for both events are available at bit.ly slash candle nights 2025. That's bit.L.Y. slash Candle Nights 2.25. It's going to be very fun. We've been working on it and coming up with some ideas that I'm just fucking stoked about. I'm also stoked about Montaigne for letting us use the theme song My Life is better with you. It really is a great album. One of my faves of the year, getting a lot of rotation on my devices. Hey, also we have merch over at Macquariemerch.com. You should go check out. Do we have a fear? We do. Call it to me. Griffin, why don't you read it? This year, I'm going to be faster than my fear of the ceiling fan being at max speed. My name's Justin McRoy.

I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. It's been my brother, my brother, may kiss your dad, square on the lips. It's better with you. It's better. It's better with you. Oh, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true.

Oh, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life. Ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.