My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 790: Face 2 Face: Frogspotting

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

Welcome to our favorite podcast, LIVE from the Tobin Center in San Antonio, TX. It’s Me, My Husband, and My Sister, His Wife, a podcast where we sit in a Chilli’s and do a Chopped-style challenge using ingredients like tissue replacements, taco time knuckle tattoos, and questionable investment opportunities.Suggested talking points: Sick Kid Store, Ice Wind Quest Guy, Bring Hot into Your Life, Raw Mom Energy, I Turn Trash into JokesNative American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice shouldn't never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, Baby! One, two, three.

It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed. It's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels life. Life. Oh, ah, it's better.

better with you my life ah it's better it's better with you this is true ah it's better

it's better with two my life ah ah it's better with you hello everybody and welcome my brother my brother main advice show

for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy What's up, Traff Nation? I'm your midless brother, Travis, Big Dog, Vroom, Vroom, Wolf, McElroy. What's up, Travnation? I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30 media luminary, Bellford Tough McElroy.

And I regret to inform everyone that I've just realized my Lightning McQueen jumpsuit costume has shrunk dramatically in the wash from the last or you've gotten bigger and muslier. I don't think so, man. It's possible. You didn't have it dry cleaned?

I did it. The idea of you bringing that to a drag It's like halfway up my calf, man. Like it went up. It didn't go in, it went up. Oh no, you accidentally, you wore Henry's. Oh, that's what it was. You may have to have a costume change

as like I did. Maybe it's time for you to reevaluate. San Antonio, I hope you appreciate Justin's Rock and a new stees just for you. I switched to the drive cosplay because I was informed during our last engagement that my... Which was in Atlanta, who was very mean to Justin. Very mean because they said that when I took my helmet off, my speed racer costume made me look like I was a Donald Duckbounding. Paul, do you have an image of my costume? So you all can be the judge of whether or not I'm a...

Sorry, it's a nude photo, so we can't actually... Well, it's pantsless. They censored it out. Wait. Yeah, so... You've lost the ascot. So this isn't very representative, but I have a red ascot. And you can actually, if you look at my jumpsuit in this picture,

you can see how now it's riding up. up like used to be way high. And for some reason Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 was on the screen. Maybe we were playing that while doing a live show. We got fucking bored and just had to crank out some combos.

Yeah. Oh well. So thanks. So I changed. I had kind of say a wonderful day in San Antonio, Texas. I got up. I got up at 6.30 because I had to say goodbye to my kids. I realized, oh my God, I'm up. But luckily,

it was already 85 degrees here Hell yeah so I got out and I got a little I rented the you know sometimes you can rent the little stand-up scooters here in San Antonio you could rent a little sit-down guys Sit-downs like vespas?

Like a little sit-down vespas? It is hysterical to drive around the city because you're not allowed to drive on the sidewalk and you're also not you can't go faster than 20 miles an hour So it's like everywhere you're going it's a little parade just for you You know, like they get honk, they get mad,

he just wave, like, I can't do anything other than this. That is such a classic, like, comedy movie about just a real doofus in town who does that kind of thing, like, oh, I'm so excited for this. And then everybody's stuck in traffic honking behind them. And you watch it, they're like, what a doof. Tommy Boy and his magic scooter. What a fucking goofball. I definitely ended up on some roads that I should not have been on it a little skiers.

Just on a clover turnpike. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I'm up so high. Jesus Christ. I heard trucker's like, oh, we got a baby's day out situation over here. This baby is just rolling free. No, but it's great.

I went to Archie's coffee, and then after that I went to Vela coffee because I just wanted more coffee. And then I drove the Vespa out to the Japanese tea garden. Have you all been out there? Holy shit. It's gorgeous. I got to say, your vibe. Unreal. Your vibe just now, though, was not matching the vibe of the Japanese tea garden.

I disagree, Griffin. You didn't go when I went. I yell, holy shit. This is an amazing tea garden. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been in my entire life. It was incredible. And I followed that up with something just as a majestic, a visit to the Wonderland of the Americas. That's right.

Hey, listen, that is a singular place, guys. I loved it. Can I describe Wonderland of the Americas for you? So we've all got dying malls. I love a dying mall as much as the next guy. Our mall's been dying since it was born. Wonderland of the Americas has the guts to just not go down without a fight. So you get dropped off at the most nondescript entrance possible.

You then have to walk through a hallway of four of the most depressing businesses. Like literally it's like tissue replacement, sick kids store, bone health for veterans. Like, it's just like the sad, it's like a haunted house, but for being sad, right? And then you chuck all the way through it, and you swear to God, it must be closed. Everything's closed, right? But then you go upstairs, and it's like some of the coolest little stores and shops and everything is fantastic. But the bottom, they should rope it off or something. You know, like casket of a Montalado style, just break it off.

Like, we don't have it downstairs. It's just cool shops upstairs. And then a very large, an insane Burlington Coat Factory. It looks like it was built by a fucking soar on. What's wrong with you guys? But I had one more trip in the Vespa. I don't know if Joe's here.

But Joe almost ruined the show for everybody. Travis ran into Joe before. Joe didn't know we were doing a show. Joe's staying at the same hotel we were staying at. And Travis told Joe like, hey, we're doing a show. Come to the show. As I'm leaving, I don't have enough time. time to get to the venue. Oh, man. But guess who's still there? My Vespa is parked out front.

So I'm like, okay, well, I got to. To make it to the show on time, I got to get the Vespa. This is how the Aerosmith Roller Coaster at Disney World starts, by the way. Yeah, I got to get the Vespa. So I get the Vespa, and I'm like, all right, time to ride out for the show. I'm on the edge of my seat. Yeah, I know. I've got two bags that are balanced on the handles, right? I'm barely making it. And then Joe comes out and he's like, hey, I'm really, time for the show and it's like oh cool it's nice to meet you and then he's i'm like kind of joke about how i'm about to write a vespina how i live blah blah blah yeah but then i realized like as i'm about to leave i'm holding a can of coffee that i have just opened and i have absolutely no fucking

plan yeah like i have no plan and joe what did you do but joe's right there right no well what i had to do travis i had to chug the entire coffee right then and there right so how is this joe's fall How is any of this Joe's fault? Because if he hadn't been there, I would have just dumped it out probably, you know what I mean? Like something, or gone to a sewer and dumped out in a sewer? So Joe held you accountable for your impact on the environment. And somehow this is Joe's fault. I would have recycled it.

As Joe's lawyer, I must object, sir. As you certainly guessed from my life choices, this is an advice show. That's better. Thank you so much, Paul. Very demonstrative. Much better, Paul. Paul, thank you so much, Paul. Excellent.

Much better to pick. This is an advice show. And we are going to... Wait, but for what era? Oh, the mantra. Thank you so much. We're going to take your questions that you have submitted to us

and turn them alchemy-like into wisdom, as is our purview here. On the program. I don't know if you've listened before. You're vamping because you forgot to unlock your iPad again. Is that Joe's fault too, Justin? You know, it can be hard

trying to carry the entirety of the show on my shoulders If you guys wanted to do any jokes, that would leave a little bit of padding for me to, you know, open up the document. I went and got a massage today. It wasn't funny. It was just nice. Go off, Travis. I needed it because I deal with a lot of stress when my brother can't open the dock during the show.

That's enough. Okay? My brother-in-law refuses to go to Chili's with me, my husband and my sister, his wife. It's my favorite podcast. He is a very talented and creative cook at home, so I think he feels like. like Chili's is beneath him. How do I convince him that $6 margaritas and a triple dipper are cool and even though Chili's

isn't a five-star establishment? That's from sister-in-law in San Antonio. Are you here? Jesus Christ! I've never been scared by one of those before. That's the energy of someone who has appreciated the great deal of Chili's tonight.

Yes. Have you been there and received amazing service and reasonable prices? Okay, great things about Chili's, just to start off with. One thing is that Chili's has the guts to sell adults tenders and not pretend like it's something else, and they'll put a little bit of a fancy sauce in there like, oh, have you tried our elegant new bourbon tenders? It's like, no, nice try. I love it, though.

Thank you so much. Appetizer samplers. Yeah, no, they do those. Fancy restaurants don't do that. That's true. Fancy restaurants won't give you one shrimp in a cocktail. And another thing is fancy restaurants will get mad at you when you get mad at. at them for not doing that that's true griff but they get all snooty about it yeah i want the patte and the

shrimp and the hush puppies do them on one plate that was a crazy restaurant i just described i had all three of those things on the menu another thing i like about chilies a random shit on the wall yeah that's fun that is fun i i got you don't have to just go to a restaurant for the food because sometimes you can go there for the just for the hangs just like a good hang it seems like Maybe the best hang at Chili's. You've got everything you need. Like what, Grimmis? Six dollar margaritas.

Huge. Shit on the wall. Yeah. Covered. That funny commercial with the barbershop quartet. Baby, baby, baby, that's the one. What restaurants can you go to where you have an excuse to sing barbershop quartet because of the place you're at? Not many.

Not a few restaurants I've eaten at where I've had to been warned by the serving staff not to touch the plate that my food was on because it was a sizzling hot. Iron skillet. Everything is sizzling hot. They trusted me with that, though. That's a level of trust and responsibility that they gave me what amounts to a deadly weapon and said, he's going to be fine.

Are maybe they're just like really, really hardcore into Applebee's and they are worried they're going to get spotted. You think that's crossing the line? You know how sort of protective of their turf those two businesses are. That's why you settle on TGI.

Friday's right there between... No one's ever dined at a TGI Friday. They don't exist actually. It is a money laundering front. But they'd be so happy to have you. Chili's is awesome because when you see it out in the wild, there's a Chili's in Austin that is like the meme Chili's. And that's great and all.

We can all compare it to the other great restaurants in the area that a Chili's is at. Sure. But when you're at an airport, uh-oh. Hey, wait a minute. That Chili's is looking pretty good right about it. now, isn't it? When that Chili's is the only option next to a Panda Express and a raggedy-looking subway,

hey, wait a minute, Chili's is fine dining in this moment. Chili's to-go presupposes that you're just here for the food. You don't need to hang around for the ambiance. You're just here for the food. Here's a bit of, like, actionable advice. Maybe trying a pitch like this. You know, we'll be so wild and silly tonight. Okay.

If we went to Chili's, can you imagine? And then you get him there. And you're like, that food, it's pretty good, isn't it? That's how everyone who... You enjoy the ambiance? That's how everyone gets into it, man. Here's a gift card, Todd. It's for $5,000.

Let him go... Okay, before he leaves, let him fill a Ziploc baggie with spices. And butters and herbs. Cool. And one knife... But just one bag. Just one, okay, he could have four bags. Four bags of butter, spices, and one and a knife.

Spices, fats. Salty, sweet. Knife in a bag. Knife in a bag, butter, salt. That's three bags. If you have some rope in there, that's like a serial killer cannibals, like, set up bag. But please finish the thought. The fourth bag will be empty.

Okay. Because that's for leftovers. Yeah, yeah. But I didn't know if you guys had stuff for that here. Chas, I have no idea where our brother is going with this whole. run and I'm really you're also going to have an induction cooktop so you're going to arrive and you'll one of you will put on the TED from chopped voice and it's like okay here's your mystery basket is jalapeno poppers from TGI Fridays or wherever yeah yeah yeah now bust out your spices

and your butter and your knife and your empty bag for mixing yeah dude that's what it's for mixing oh okay and try to like up like up cycle it you know what I mean like so and then when the server comes by. That's the game. They can't see because they will be hurt. Okay. So when the server comes by... They can't see it. Their feelings will be hurt. When the server comes by and sees your brother-in-law under the table going to... They can't.

And smoke starts to rise up. And then they're like, hey, sir, what the fuck are you doing under there? This is the Chili's. He says, oh, I'm gushing up the address in the back to make it better. So the server says, God damn. Another chop style game in our restaurant.

This is the fourth time today. you can't be seen doing it in the setup I said they can't catch you doing it so the fact you guys are getting the one masturbating under here leaving me alone you're inventing the one thing that can't happen in this game okay if it does happen it is seen by all participants as a failure yeah you're secretly cooking on an under table induction cook top and mix in motion bag right and then there's no way you have step there's no way you have more to this There's more stamps There's no way, dude

Everybody eats it If you guys hadn't put on so much mustard I could have just said everybody eats it And moved on with our lives You guys don't always have to pull over the car For a few words Is there a rule that the server can't see It's like eating it?

I absolutely can't see The eating? The eating has to, that you have to see Okay Because I need them to be a little bit confused The server's going to come by and see you eating your hot mush, your hot egg roll mush. If they clock it, you lose.

Okay, cool. Wait, lose what? Win what? The game. What are the stakes? Did you not even pay attention to the fucking question, Travis? My brother-in-law wants to play a high-stakes secret undertable chilies. When it takes all, no holds bar, death match.

Art doesn't need rules. It says right here, if they catch us eating the sloppy glop, then he loses. fucking pay attention next time. You're right. It's my fucking fault. Art doesn't need... I have a favorite local coffee shop across the street from my apartment complex. Recently, one barista

started a conversation asking what my plans for the day were. For some reason, maybe tired brain, I decided to overshare and stated, oh, I'm on my way to qualify for regionals. They asked in what. I said, oh, it's for magic. They proceeded to get

a lot more interested and said, That's super cool. I love magic. What kind of magic can you do? Yeah, you guessed it, friends. I was actually talking about going to a Magic the Gathering event. So I just said, cards. You were impeccable with your word.

You honored your first agreement. That is true. It was cards. I believe the record will show I did not lie, Your Honor. I said, they asked if I could show them a card trick since no one was in line, but I just said, sorry, but my backpack was in the trunk. Can you imagine if you had made the backpack appear right then?

Hold on. You said that your magic was cards, and then you said your backpack was in the truck. It's cards. Like why? It's cards. They're in your pocket. They're very large cards, Justin.

There's huge novelty cards. That's the magic. I juggle them with chainsaws. It's a whole thing. Anyway, brothers, what kind of card tricks can I quickly learn in case they remember and ask again? That's from I Just Want an Ice Coffee in San Antonio. Are you here? All right.

Fair enough. Thank you for not scaring me. That was amazing. You may be a barn owl sitting in the distance. That's cool, too. I'm a barn owl who just qualified for regional at Magic the Gathering. If they ask you again, say, well, I qualify for regional, and now I have to save my mana points for when I perform tricks at state.

And what do you think, how will they receive that sentence that you just said out loud? Yeah. What do you think the response to that sentence is? I think if you say it with a solid enough chilling look, they'll never talk to you again. Travis is right, actually. If you say I can't because I'm saving up my manna. points, this will not be an issue ever again. The problem here is I realized mana points is also a thing in magic, right? Wait, hold on. I meant more like I'm casting magic tricks using my magic points.

Wait, but you're not, they didn't think you're an actual wizard from Final Fantasy ass magic time. But they don't know how magic works because the rules of magic say, I can't tell them how I do my trick. Did you think that the issue here was, I didn't think anything, Griffin. I was doing a fucking bit. I was doing a fucking bit for our audience to enjoy with comedy jokes. I'm a grown man. I was a national merit scholars, sir.

Cards. I'm trying to be funny for once. You're right. I apologize. The good thing is, the hard part is done because your hands know the cards. Your hands know the weight of the cards. The heart of the cards. When you hold a king

iced velociraptor or whatever, like, you know what that feels like, sorry, a what? You know that just from the ink of the Ice Wind Guests, the old guy, that like, you know that card.

I got a commander deck that's based around the Ice Wind Quest guy. Yeah. Tears shit up. Is the trick, Justin, then you close your eyes and pick up a card and tell them what it is? Yeah.

Like, you could do that if you know your deck, when you were really in tune with your deck, you don't need to look at it anymore. Like, you know the cards. Yeah, yeah. You know the cards just from, like, the weight and the crinkles that your uncle put in. Whoa. Hold on.

He was trying to throw him away. And you're like, please don't. I love those cards. Wait, why was your uncle? Because every card tells a story. Like, you know what I mean? Why is there mustard on the back of my charizardados or whatever? Yeah, because my fucking uncle.

Yeah. My fucking uncle used it as a napkin again. Uncle related. It could be, like, my best friend Johnny. spelled ketchup on it or whatever. So there's mustard on it because Johnny spilled ketchup on it? Every car tells the story. Whoa!

Yeah, every card tells the story. I think that anyone can learn how to do tricks of side of hand and subtle gestures with those cards. But not anyone can make an infinite mana loop, one hit, K-O, first round, knockout, some real shit. So I think you could say, like, okay, first of all, the coffee shop needs to be very, fucking empty, because this is going to take you like 45, 50 minutes. There's a lot of setup, and then you do have to execute the infinite loop. You make them draw all their deck. You have to draw your entire.

It's a whole thing. But then when it's over, they're going to be like, wow, I get it, man. I would also just say, and this is not to try to, like, pump you up, but seriously, like, that kind of success in anything, I think people actually are interested to hear about it. Like, I don't think there's going to be any judgment. I, of course, would be. interested to hear about someone's Magic the Gathering proficiency. You know, I've learned

four or five card tricks, and I've tried to learn magic gathering, and I can't. You know what I mean? I think that's the magic, frankly. I'm way more impressed on somebody can play Magic the Gathering. I've played many games of Magic the Gathering, and when they have ended, whether I've won or lost, I have no idea why

it happened. I always think I've got to get more into this game. Most card tricks don't require you to use tokens and track health loss, and and tap things. So which one's more impressive, Griffin? Definitely Magic the Gathering.

Easy, yeah, for sure. Hey, try this move. Oh, I misunderstood you. Now it's on them. You could also do, like, slide of hand with Magic the Gathering cards, and then when you ask them later, was this your card,

they'll have absolutely no fucking clue. I think, yeah, it had a dragon on it or something. There's fire. Something like that, yeah, for sure. Sorry, this just, like this just came across my desk. There was a puff of brimstone and sulfur. This is just coming across my desk. I'm so sorry, guys.

We do have a haunted doll watch. First up, let's meet Holly the Pixie. Oh, no. I wanted to bring some popcorn. positivity this time. Okay, that's cool. And I'm telling you right now, a bold like Mary Tyler Moore-esque woman in the city fighting for her own right there. She, meet Holly. She's an enchanting spirit known as a Pixie Faye. She has a deep connection to Holly, it doesn't say, Holly encourages humans to reconnect with nature, showing respect for the environment

and a deeper appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. She loves all animals and critters and they love her presence. She brings hot into your life. Wait, what? Whoa, whoa. By the way, that was cool hearing. Everyone say, wait, what? In the exact same voice.

She brings hot into your life by uplifting moments with laughter and positivity. She possesses a bunch of magical abilities. They don't often promise this much. A bunch? She has... She'll make you happy

is not often a promise made by 100 dollars. The first one's awesome Because her first one is animal communication, which like, prove it. Yeah, good point. That would involve, like, my dog being like, this is legit. Yeah, yeah. Once we invent that helmet we put on a dog or on us to make that conversation possible, you think the first thing dogs are going to say is,

holy shit, thank Christ you can hear me. All the dolls in this house can talk to me. Holly the Pixie makes it so fucking hot in here, Doug. and we're getting married. She has the ability to, she has plant growth, the ability to accelerate growth with a role of a D8,

she can, there's a bloom of plants, coaxing flowers to blossom and gardens to flourish. She has weather control. What? She has the ability to influence subtle weather changes.

Okay, now hold on. They're not over-promising. Maybe a bit more fog than you're used to. It's 95 degrees instead of 94 degrees. Thanks, Holly. You did indeed, bring you. the hot by one degree. She also promotes natural healing.

So there's so much more to Holly. She's definitely one of the best I've ever encountered. Then wouldn't it be supernatural healing? She brings... No, nothing? No, that's fair. I don't think so. She brings... It's a very good point, Travis. Inviting a field of your home, and I know she'll add a touch of greatness to your life.

Are you Holly's new keeper? Adopt Holly today. Keeper sucks as a title to have because of a thing I bought on eBay. Yeah. So that is Holly the Pixie. Next up. I wouldn't even call myself like my dogskeeper. Yeah. All right. Next up, a haunted vessel doll, a protective spirit of a mother who lost everything.

Oh. Hey, wait, it might get funny. The name's fun. No, I mainly wanted to feature Marguerite. She's a devoted mother in the late 1800s, a woman who gave everything for her family. Let's see that first picture, Paul. Jesus Christ, Justin. Her life was cut short by scarlet fever, a brutal disease that took her

swiftly. And I too big Ida's. Leaving behind 10 children. The youngest, only six months old, and the eldest 17. Even as her body failed, her soul refused to leave. The thought of abandoning her children of leaving them to face the world without her was unbearable. Paul, let's see that next image. Yes.

Yeah, dude. I've never seen anyone do this shit. It's fucking so good. Give me another one, Paul. Hit me with another one. Oh, oh, baby. Yeah, dude. Hey, how come she got neck wrinkles? That's fucked up. Okay. Hey, what's she made out of? This is starting to border on montage of dead wife in movie. She remained earthbound, searching for a way to continue protecting those who needed her. Eventually, her spirit found its way into it. But who's protecting me from Marguerite?

Can we see another picture of the vessel? This one's right. Hey, you don't found me under the bed. Come on in. Let me show you my secret place. Marguerite is a fiercely protected spirit drawn to those To need comfort, my own daughter has asked me to place her vessel under the bed at night. I thought you were talking about Charlie and Cooper for a second. No, that would be amazing. Marguerite seems to like this role. So this is, to be clear, mommy's putting this doll underneath your, your mom. The only mom you have, supposedly, is putting this haunted doll in here to protect you from the other haunted dolls.

Yeah, oh, fuck, no. What? Hey, this is a mother who lost everything, and her kids are definitely not in the picture anymore. I definitely want her to form some kind of strong bond with my daughter. Yeah, man, she's chuck full of raw mom energy. One day, you'll be older, and you'll get married, and James Juan's going to have a lot of fun with that one. Let me tell you, this goat is going to freak out, the doll's going to try to kill him. This is actually pretty good, now that I say that out loud.

Paul, write that down. TMTM. Insidious five, something. Okay, I want to She's saying goodbye. She goodbye, Marguerite. With that jump truck, hey. Travis.

That wasn't me. That was Margarita speaking through me. Her influence grows. I should mention there is a mystery of her purple eyes. There's an unusual purple eyes and airy yet beautiful anomaly. At times they seem to illuminate. That's her ass, Paul. Nice.

When this happens, the atmosphere and the room shifts. sometimes comforting and warm as if a mother is near watching over you. Or under you because she's mainly a subbed, sort of. Yeah, I would say the majority of the photo shoot has happened under bed. Do you guys want to meet the best dude ever? Fuck yeah, dude. Okay. Hey.

Paul, no more jump scares, please. No more Paul. Hey, let's fucking, let's meet Bouchard. Yeah! Let me see my son Bouchard. Hell yeah, haunted Vessel doll sweet, Bouchard. Wait a minute, why didn't you guys like Bouchard? Hey, let me tell you.

What kind of jaded assholes are you? Let me tell you a little bit about Bouchard. This is Bouchard. For the moment he came into my home, he has been nothing but a joy to be around. His energy is light and warm like a child's laughter echoing through the house. Everyone adored him when he was alive. He grew up surrounded by his aunts and cousins, always tagging along. as the youngest of the bunch.

His older cousins would take him skating to the batting cages, and he loved every second of it. His favorite place in the world was a spotty called Bullwinkles, a place that brought him inless happiness. I'm going to skip his death. Yay! That's not...

Wait, does he have a pair of dice with him? I'll get there. He's making some CELO. He's shooting some crafts. His parents had both passed over from overdoses when he was only two months old, so he never knew them. Only stories. and not good ones. This made him frightened of crossing over, afraid of what might be waiting

for him. As opposed to most three and four-year-olds, you're like, can't fucking wait to kick it. You know, thank you for your faith so far, because you know how hard Bouchard has to deliver to make up for that real bummer of a beginning. So let me tell you this. Here, he is safe. He is calm. He is sweet and playful. He has always been a joy to us, and I know he will bring the same to his next keeper. My own children discovered that Bouchard, loves offerings of Pokemon. One night, while they sat in the same room with him, he made that very clear.

Hey! Because of that, he will go to his new home with the Pokemon items you see in his pictures at my children's request said they don't want him to be without them. So, Bouchard is being said, Hey, parents, I am always, looking for great ways to get rid of my kid's shit.

If I thought I could also box up a bunch of their garbage with haunted dolls, this is epic lady. Good on you, sending away a bunch of their Pokemon cards. Also, scalpers have ravaged the Pokemon card market, so, I mean, you are getting yourself quite a deal with this Bouchard doll pickup. Just to clarify, though, in case you are buying Bouchard, items in the photos will be included with him, except the bench. his vessel is sitting on, that is mine.

Thank you for clarifying about the bents. Thank you, Vessel Boy, taking too soon. Hey, do you have anything of Bouchard in action, Paul? Huh. Wherever I go, he goes, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, yeah. Sweet haunted vessel boy, taking too soon, that's Bouchard. There was a time when we were children, and we had a my buddy doll, and my older brother Justin propped him up inside a closet,

so that when I opened the closet door, he seemed to spring out at me. Yeah. And I don't remember him being around much after that. No, I don't think so. The doll, not Justin. I was around. Justin remained. Hey, when Bouchard talked to the kids about how he wanted Pokemon cards,

I'm just curious what that conversation sounded like. Hey, what do you guys got up there? Give me all your Pokemon cards. They're all haunt your sister. What imaginative little monsters you've got there. If only I hadn't been killed by that stray bullet. Oh, no. Oh, no, I didn't tell you kids about that, did I?

It was rough, but I did always want a Charzard if you have a spare one. I got to learn some new Pokemon. I love frogs, but I can never spot them in the wild. I live in a relatively damp place, so I know there are plenty of frogs around. Often other people will point out frogs to me. me, see them, see that I'm taking photos of wildlife, and I'll get so excited to have the chance to take a photo

of a frog. I'm haunted by all the frogs I know we're out there that I didn't see and thus couldn't take photos of. Brothers, how can I get better at spotting frogs? That's from frogless and frustrated. I fucking brave of you.

How brave of you to finally say it? Every time I spot a frog, it feels like such an accomplishment. Like, ha ha! I got you. Oh, but the crushing feet of someone else spotting a frog before I do. Oh, would they see the frog first? Or it's just a weird rock and now

you're an asshole. Or fuck, it's a toad? Dude! Sometimes I'll bring a frog with me places so I can set it down and be like, frog! And everyone get impressed with me how good I am at spotting these. Well, shit, Griffin, because that was

my suggestion to fix this problem. Not forever, but just some practice frogs that you would bring with you let loose and then know those frogs there know what they look and sound like what their names are and then be able to spot them with some kind of accuracy so that you gain confidence in your frog spotting ability the movie frog spotting is so weird with all the drugs yeah sure the hardest thing to spot is a turtle because when you spot it you're definitely looking at it and you're like yes yeah

I see it, but then the turtle will continue to be there, and you definitely have to have a moment, you're like, okay, I get it. I got to go. Other animals, you get close to him, and they're like, that's enough. The moment's over. There's not a lot of animals beside turtle that I see, and I'm like, I should pick you up. And then my brain's immediately like, no, don't do that. You don't need to pick it up.

But why do I have this reflex? Is it because he has... It's football shaped. I guess he's got his own little lunchbox that he carries around with. I would also say a turtle is an animal. that I could spot, be excited, and it could be dead, and I'd have no idea. And I'd stare at it for like 20 minutes

to be like, nature is beautiful. Any time I've ever seen a turtle in my life, I think, oh, buddy, you shouldn't be here. Where should, get, let's get you out of here, pal. But you don't want to touch them because they got salmonilla. Cool. Yeah. No.

Your wife's a doctor, so I just assume that you know what you're talking about, man. It would be turtle-nella. They're not same. brother, so thank you for recognizing. We have other questions from you, our beloved, not for... Yeah, hey, can we ask a question for you? Anyways, just enjoy the frogs you see.

Don't worry about the ones you don't see. They don't exist if you don't see them. Wow, Trave. Thank you. Next question. Beautiful. Also, thermal vision goggles. Wait a minute.

Wait, our frogs... Notably, that's a really big... bad idea. Oh, that's lizards. Wait, cook the frogs before. What? You have to have a friend help you.

Get a discreet friend to plant 30 toy frogs in the local woods. Oh, toy frogs. Have them give you a GPS. Where the fuck are they going to find 30 real frogs at all? At the fucking frog store. Yeah, man. Read a bug.

Frog store, dude. What, like bait frogs that you buy to feed to bigger lizards? Yeah, dude. To feed the nasty fish. I'm going fishing today, but only for really fucked up psychofish who eat whole fucking frogs, man. That's my favorite section of the pet store when there's pets that are actually food for other animals, but they don't know about it. Like the crickets think they are there waiting on the right child, you know? Now I will be loved.

That one open-minded kid. Oh, look at that. They gave me a lizard to eat. Wait, wait a second. You're looking for a kid that needs a moral compass. I got a room, this big, scaly roommate of mine. I love this guy. Hey, boys.

Yeah, Trav. I've got a pretty important new development to share with you guys. All right, man. As both the leader of Trave Nation and, thank you. And the CEO of Trav Nation Company industries. Oh, I didn't know about that. Yeah. We're constantly looking to incorporate brand integration.

Okay. And indoctrinate more people. Right. So all the embezzling you've been doing from our company has been for... Oh my God. I'm so glad you brought that up, Griffin. Sort of. So tonight, I have a brand new segment called Paul.

Can you pull that up? Traffnation Industries introduces travesties. It's Travis. plus novelies seeking angel investors. So I've got three. Is the TM there, your initials, or trademark? Okay. So it's about TMTMTM.

Wait, isn't that what it always? Oh, okay. Okay, I have three investment opportunities for you guys tonight. Okay. But much like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie when they were selling the pictures of their baby Shiloh to the paparazzi, I am going to take your bid sight unseen. Okay.

And then I'll tell you what I've just bought. Now, because I've embezzled so much money, you guys have been accumulated quite a few trav bucks. And it is, I should state, a one-way exchange. That's so rare with exchanges, you know? Where U.S. dollars become trav bucks, the trav bucks cannot go back. You know, nobody ever comes out. They're like arcade tokens in that way.

Yeah, sure. And I'm going to give you guys a chance to ask me some questions. The first investment opportunity is a food stuff. And now you can ask me some yes or no questions before you give me your bid in trav bucks for the first investment opportunity. Okay. Would this be something that I would feature on Munch Squad? No. Is it wet?

Yes. Oh, my God, I figured it out. No, I haven't. Um, is it real, like, a thing that you could exist? Yes. I've never played this game before, Travis. Is it a, is it a sauce? No.

How can it be wet then, dude? Is it a liquid? No, I mean. Are you telling me what the fucking is it? Dude, oh, is it a suspension, dude? I'm about an answer unclear. Is it like two bleak, dude? I'm going to say.

say yes, no, answer unclear. Answer unclear. I'm going to say the the plasmoid state of whatever this. A sauce, a sauce is present. Okay. Is it an entree? Travis, I need the foodstuffs I invest in to fit squarely into one of the three states of matter.

Yeah, it's in a plasm? And it is for that reason that I'm out. Hey, Griffin, here's the problem. You actually can't. Yeah, you have to. How much do I have to bid? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Is it a commercial product that you want to sell? It's bidding time now, Justin. How many trav bucks? This is bidding time. Yes. How many trav bucks are you willing to do. How many do I have? You maniac?

500. Yeah. 500. 500 feels right to me. 500,000. A juice. Babe, how many, how many Trav books is it okay for me to spend? I know, I know they're supposed to be for the girls' college.

Hopefully Trav Nation University be closed by them. Okay, yeah, all right, thank you. 5,000 trap bucks. Okay. $4,999 trap bucks. Okay, let's see what you've invested in. New beef travioli. Okay.

Kids love that it comes in a can. Parents love that it is edible. With twice the schlork sound of the leading competitor and board from a height contains absolutely zero, Travis. That's great. Wow. Wow. Wow.

I'm a... Do you want to increase your bid? Fuck no man I'm actually an investor in cup of noodles and I can't actually have competing products on store shelves you understand

I do also this sounds gross I would like to reduce my bed please because but you can't reduce I would like to at this point now that I know more reduce because I feel like the fact that it doesn't contain any

well there's an asterisk there that is true okay yeah you're right awesome because everything has a little Travis in it with the way that like dust and star stuff

and shit work. Last your last breath of Julius Caesar Paul and said it right yeah okay our second investment opportunity

is a household good is it wet no is it dry yes okay don't get all

is it a powder no because sticky is half wet and half dry it's a household good is it for cleaning

yes is it poison no toxic no purple no green no red orange no blue no white glass cleaner gray no yes yes edible clear no gray yes it's gray yes it's gray yes it's gray yes it's gray we're ready for your bids wait no you can't just say i just gave you so many fucking questions is there's a limited number of questions that information if i knew there's limited number of questions i wouldn't have saying joseph in the amazing

technical color dream code clearly draft five thousand dollars on the gray thing that's dry. We don't accept dollars. 5,000 trap bucks on the dry gray household thing. I'm going to say $30 because I really... We don't accept dollars. I'm going to say

300,000 trap bucks. Is that the exchange rate? No. I did the conversion of my head. Sorry, I have to do the conversion of my head. Okay, let's see that product. The trough can. I was right. Loves to eat your garbage. No questions asked.

Totally judgment free. Motion activated real talk action with yummy trash and that's a totally normal thing to throw away. And I turn trash into jokes. That one's... I think it sucks that I have to be up here and because I'm a paid professional,

I'm forced to bear witness to something I would cook away so fast from on Tumblr that it would make your head. throw trash in my mouth? Look, my mouth is the lid. My mouth open. You understand. I've already engaged with this mentally more than I would ever in my entire line. You see what happens, right? My mouth opens and says, yummy trash.

Hey, you got your laugh, right, man? I'm doing one more dollar than Justin did. I love this product. I think it's funny. I think kids will like it a lot. Hey, Travis, it makes complete sense. If the next one is just this on a toilet, I'm walking off the stage, dude. I'm going to do that either way because it'll be the end of

one, but still. Okay, let's go to our third and final investment opportunity. This is an online course. Is it wet? No. It's not wet. Is it dry? Is it dry? Yeah. Is it taught by you? Yeah. Okay. It's a class. Yeah. It's an online course. It's a dry online course. Yeah. Okay. If you're going to bully, if you're going to believe, if you're imagine such a thing. Do you do you teach a podcast? No. Okay. We already wrote a book about that. That's true.

Don't tell them our secret, Travis. That's our private book. Our private book. Our secret diary. For friends and family only. This is our vanity book. I bet. I bet. That's the game. Five million trav bucks on this. Okay. Six million. God damn it. You're so good at this game. Let's see it, Paul.

This is the Trav Wife online course. We'll teach you how to pick up and quickly abandon all kinds of usual hobbies. The worst thing I've ever seen, Travis. Officially clean the house by hiding seven closets and cabinets. Please

your husband, the Travis way. Okay, so if you're not taking a picture of this image, if it's up to me, it'll never be seen again. So make sure you get it recorded for Bosterity, please. This looks like Look for all of these things on your shelf on the Internet. The Oak Ridge Boys finally done and fell off.

If you have questions that you'd like us to answer and you would want to come down to the mic and talk with us about it, you can email live at nbmbaam.com. Try to keep it short. Try to keep it tight. Those are usually the best ones for a live setting. Yeah, the instructions should be up on the screen. But we're going to take a quick break.

And we'll be back after the intermission. And we'll see you guys in a bit. It's better It's better with you Hello my friends This is Griffin I'm so thankful for you This week of extraordinary gratitude

I want to tell you about our sponsors This week We got Aura Frames on the docket ORAFraFrains It's a great time to talk about ORAFrains Because ORAFraFrains is a really great present A really great gift For a lot of different sort of people categories

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And it's so easy to keep people in the loop on what you got going on in your life with a really beautiful looking digital picture frame from Aura Frames. We've given them out as gifts to a lot of people, and it's always a hit. Because even if they're not the most tech-savvy person in the world, you can help manage that yourself. For a limited time, visitoraframes.com and get $45 off ORA's best-selling CarverMatt Frames, named number one by wirecutter by using promo code My Brother at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code My Brother. This exclusive Black Friday, Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Also I want to tell you about Factor Meals, this time of year is a shit show for everyone. There's like 100 holidays that all happen, basically. all at once and you know work is so crazy right now you got to make sure that you're eating good stuff and factor's going to help you do that they've got chef prep dietitian approved meals that are designed to make it easy to stay on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious no heck matter how hectic the season gets you can choose from a bunch of different meal options

premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost there's asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by china Thailand and more uh just Just on the menu this week, there's a potato leak mash and grilled chicken with roasted corn and zucchini's saute. That looks gorgeous. A smoky gutta, macaroni, and shredded beef with parmesan buttered green beans. Yum, yum, don't mind if I do. Everything I've gotten from Factor has been really, really great and super, super quick to get ready and make me feel like I'm eating like a person. And that's important to me.

Eat smart at FactorMeals.com slash Brother 50 off and use code. Brother 50 off to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year, that's code Brother 50 off at FactorMeals.com for 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year, get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Also I want to tell you, we got some stuff coming up. As you know, every American Thanksgiving, the three of us with our good friends, Tim and Guy,

from the worst idea of all time. our honorary brethren from New Zealand get together to watch a little film called Paul Blart Mallcop too. This is the, if I'm not mistaken, the 10th year that we've done it, but our 11th watch. And that takes us a while to kind of unpack in the watch. There's also a pretty high concept and I will say costly prank style thing that happens this year that I think really sets it apart. I'm not going to talk anymore about, you know, what the quality of the watch was this year. But if you've seen the movie or heard us talk about it before, I mean, you know what to expect. It's the boys.

We're talking PBMC, too. And that comes out on Thursday, on Thanksgiving. So you can check that out. Also, Candle Nights is coming up very, very soon. December 6th, we're going to be performing at the Keith Albee Theater in Huntington, West Virginia, our hometown for our annual Candle Night show. It's been a while since we've done one in person, but we are very, very excited to be putting it back on in Huntington this year. It is going to be a sort of variety-styled show, not exactly a live Mbim-Bam, but a lot of sort of Mbim-Bam segments, some clubhouse stuff. Everyone in the fans getting a hand on the ball is going to be a good time, and all of the proceeds from the show are going to benefit Harmony House,

which is an amazing organization in our hometown of Huntington that works to end homelessness by providing countless supportive services to people experiencing homelessness. It is a great organization and we are really honored to be able to partner with them and help them out. And you can help them out too by coming to the show. If you can't make it to Huntington, we're also going to be putting a video up of the show on December 19th. You can get live tickets or those video-on-demand tickets over at bit.ly slash candle nights

2025. There's also some new merch in the merch store, including some Candle Nights merch and some Paul Blart Malkop to Tell Death to Us Blart merch. And that's all at Macroymerch.com. So go check that out also. Enjoy the rest of the live show. We will be back with a new episode next week. So keep it locked and have a great holiday if you choose to celebrate that.

We'll talk to you soon. Bye. We're going to take things to you all now. We're going to call some folks down to the microphone that we have. If we can get some house lights up a little bit just to help with navigation. You three sitting in front of it, so sorry. The guardians of the server, the serveress. Ask them their riddles.

If you all every once in a while could do the hear no evil, see no evil kind of bed. I'd appreciate that. You won't acknowledge it, but you could do it. And hey, while we're working on that, thank you to the Tobin Center here for having us. Yeah, this room is so beautiful. They were showing us some of the fancy light tricks that they can do, and we told them we don't deserve any of that stuff. Hello.

Hi. Hi. How's it going? Hi. Oh, I'm Celia. Pronouns are she, they any pronouns. Hi, Celia. How can we help?

A lot of Celia heads in the audience tonight, which I'm loving. hard not to be so my question is how do I keep mascots from approaching me yeah so that's chapter and verse Celia the question you sent to us I am wondering what that means

and my follow-up is Celia have you found this to be a problem in the past or are you worried that this will become a problem in the future? What's the context? So, for example, you might go to a sports event. There might be like here in San Antonio, maybe a Spurs, Coyote, going into the audience and wanting to interact with you.

My problem is that I never know what to do. They kind of scare me. Sure. And good instincts. Celia, you're describing a hypothesis. situation that might happen. Has a mascot ever approached you? This has absolutely happened too many times. Yeah. I think if you get, just right down the mouth is the key.

That's where the eyes are. It's going to feel in the mouth and say, don't. Yeah. Honestly, I was going to say a strong, no. Don't. Not now. Not now. Look at me for really right in the mouth. Because what you're probably looking at. at Celia, right now on stage, you're looking at three people who have done mascot work many, many, many times. I also

don't want to be there. You're right to be off put because they, no matter how dedicated they are to the cause of the Spurs, they don't want to have an interaction probably, unless it is contractually required.

What's hard is, Celia, I think if you start putting your hands on it, like, no thank you. don't want any, then they're going to make that a fucking bitch. It's going to be a whole thing. Have you seen the video the Raptor from the basketball team? Eating the person in the crowd? Like, scary. Scary.

Yeah, for sure, man. That sounds scary. If I saw that happen, it would be pretty scared. A mascot or ate a person? I think there should be mascot. No, don't leave it all. If a mascot ain't a person? It's a video. It's a big, yeah, it's a raptor. You watch a lot of weird videos.

Griffin. We've just covered it. Is there a San Antonio mascot that everybody likes? Do you all have a favorite? Is there like a beloved? Please, Celia. I did hear the Balapeno a couple of times. Balapeno? That makes a lot more sense. I thought people were saying Volcano at first. I didn't understand

how that could be a mascot. In an actionable way. Is the balapeno like a ball that's also a pepper? So he's an anthropomorphic jalapeno pepper. Yes. How does that treat you? If that If that runs up on you, how does that feel? Are we happy to see if all opinion or were you not happy?

That's so scary. I don't want that to happen. Okay, Celia, I've got you. Are there any less scary? Out of curiosity, if a mascot had to run up on you, is there like one that you're least scared of where you'd be like, okay, not bad? You know what? I'm not asking you.

No, it's just in the world. We was reciprocally asking Celia. In the world, like if you were trying not to think about one, Ghostbusters and which one would you make into a giant monster? You know what I mean? Like, which one do you like? Oh, truthfully in my heart, they all kind of freak me out. I did hear, A.C. Buddy, I guess.

H.E. Buddy? H.E. Buddy? Celia. I got your back here. You ready? Yes. They have shit peripheral vision. If you, they have like a 15-degree wide cone.

Stay out the cone. You move to the left or the right. They don't fucking know you exist. Hi, Celia, you will not get clocked, I guarantee you. You could dump children in front of you. You can duck down six inches and they'll just lose you completely.

They'll look around and go off to the next row. I hope that helps. Does that help you? Yeah, that was perfect. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. What's A.E. Griff? What's A.E. Buddie What's A.E.? Can we get a picture of an A.E. Buddy on the screen?

I've got to get to a H.E.B.D. some cereal. Okay. We'll get HB. Agee Buddy isn't in the house. We're not going to bring AG Buddy out. That would be so cool. Hello. Hello. Hi.

Whoa. Hi, I'm Sandy. Hi, I see him. And my question, I'm just going to read it, is, How do I explain to servers at Mexican restaurants that I might order something besides tacos when they see my taco time knuckle tattoos without it being a huge letdown? Sammy, can I tell you what I'm dying to know, can you show me the orientation?

Yeah. What time is it, guys? Is it? I'm trying to see from here, but I don't have good vision. Is it taco time? How is it? Taco. Time.

That's usually how knuckle tattoos. It's not usually like a rebus that people have to solve. I got to unscramble the knuckles. See, if I cross my fingers like this, all right I thought this was a comedy Hey guys I'm a national merit scholar Yeah here you guys

I met oh cat I don't understand The place we order from For dinner had the most outrageous Chips I've ever eaten my entire life I think they were the best chips I could hear the crunch from across the room They were crunched

What was that place called? It was a Taco Bell Taco Bell Rosario Rosario Rosario Rish so good shit

When they come by, when the server comes by, you get so excited, you look at your knuckles, maybe bash them together for a second, and then look at your watch and get, oh, so dejected, and say, not yet, I guess I'll just have fajitas. What are you, and then you pull up your shirt. You've got fajitas time tattooed on your tummy. Yeah, get another tattoo under Taco Time. It says like 4.38 p.m.

Yes. get a palm tattoo that says not. And then you can just kind of simipore your orders out. Sounds good. Does it sound good, Sandy? Sandy, what's your order if you're not going to get tacos? What are you in the move for, usually? Chicken nuggets.

I mean, it's all good, but usually enchiladas. Yeah, yeah. I have to assume, Sandy, that you do have an affinity for tacos. I do. Okay, great. All right, so maybe, maybe just buckle in and get some tacos. Sandy. You made a commitment.

You made a commitment. That's very true. That's very true. Maybe you should order a side of tacos just for the bit. You know what I mean? Like, just for the gag. I think it would be such a bummer to not be able to bring you tacos. Could you get a tiny tattoo that's a question mark after time? So, for the right, Taco Time, huh? Is it? Tell them the owner said you could get free tacos with that tattoo whenever you wanted.

Can you know before you go to the restaurant, you don't want tacos and wear gloves instead? Like Justin has on. I'll need to invest in some driving paraphernalia, sure. Yeah, absolutely. It's a cool look, and it's kind of the year for it, man. Sounds good. Does that help? Tremendously.

Thank you so much, Sandy. Hello, I'm Amelia, she, her. Hi, Amelia. Well, I wrote in two questions. You sent in one about a gas station visitor. The important one is... One of these is a pressing issue. Well, how do I get this gentleman to stop coming in

and asking for 25 delicious dollars in gas? Oh, are you okay? Yeah, 25, say it again, please. Well, that's the problem. That's all he says. No, no, sorry. Sorry, Amelia, it's worth saying twice. He says, he walks in, he's very emphatic.

He says, hello, can I have 25 delicious dollars? on pump one. Yeah, in gas. He doesn't, he's not demanding money from you. Yeah. Hey, I'm the weirdest robber in history. No, no, no, no, no, in gas, in gas. Okay.

Oh, my calling card? I make everyone uncomfortable. I'm an eccentric gentleman thief with some overdue library books. I gotta give you credit, Amelia, because the no would have been out of mouth. mouth before I even had a chance to think about it. Absolutely not. I do not have

that for you and you cannot access it. Thank you. I mean, try again tomorrow in a less weird fashion, please. The issue is that I try to be, you know, like have good customer service, but I can't stop myself from laughing at this person. Oh, Amelia. When they say Amelia,

that's the problem. The first time that person came in, they misspoke. They didn't mean to say delicious because that's not a thing. Well, okay, no, no, no, no. He said it twice to two different people.

Did they, wait, Amelia, no stop. Did they laugh? Okay, a lot. The second person, would they have been within earshot of the first person? Like, did he know he was delivering it a second time? Absolutely, he did not. My co-worker texted me a few

days earlier, and he was like, it's crazy. This guy just came in and had me for 25 delicious dollars. And then... Of gasoline. You have gasoline. In gas. And then I was like, ha ha, that's funny.

And I moved on with my life. And then a few days later... Were you star-struck? I was... Oh, it's him! It was a regular who had come many times before, and he's never said this before. But this time, this time, a little bit after he said it to my coworker,

now he comes into me. And first he asks me, how am I doing? And I say, good. And he's like, that's excellent news. Can I have 25 delicious dollars? Hey, Amelia, listen, this is going to sound like a joke, and I get that, but weird things happen. Maybe it's an angel.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how strongly did the feeling hit you of maybe this person has been taken over by an alien and they're learning how to talk like a human being? Or ghosts. Maybe they aren't. I'm asking Amelia give me an honest answer. Well, no, I thought he was human

because I have come to expect this from our customers. I didn't know. I actually... Wait, what the fuck does that be? I don't know. Hey, Amelia, here's my thing from now on. You know who deserves good customer service? Good customers.

That's true. And that's what Chili's offers you. Yeah. Amelia, have you ever, and this is a, I think I know the answer to this question, but have you ever seen him eating money? Or eating gasoline? I don't know. I watched him, and he, nothing weird happened after that.

I just thought, I guess he thinks it's a normal thing to do. He doesn't shove the pump into an exhaust sport in his chest. Or just keep walking, you realize he doesn't have a car? And suddenly he's rising off the ground. Well, the thing about that is that I kind of over. overemphasize the amount he asks for. Usually it's two to three dollars. Two to three delivers? Oh, great. No way. Hold on. Amelia.

It's a pickup. It's a pickup truck. Two to three dollars every time. How often does he come in? Yeah. Yeah, every single day. Okay. But he's never said this before. Yeah, this is a one-time thing. This is a killer new material. He's been trying to work up the nerves. That's why he buys so little every day.

He promises himself he's going to say it. Amelia. I think every other person in this room is sitting here secretly jealous of you. This is a wonderful human encounter to have so regularly. Does that help? Not at all, but I appreciate it. Thank you, Amelia. Right on.

I believe we had one more. Yes, hello. Hello, my friend. Hi, my name is Bennett. Hi, Bennett. Hi, Bennett. So, yeah, the other day I was thinking about the fact that my family has like a weird thing with three-letter names, like, dad.

Dad, bomb, mom, Jan, brother, Lee, uncle, Jim, and Kay, so on and so forth. That was tough to follow. Yeah, but we get it. That point is, it's a lot. I thought you have a dad named Dad. No. I was like, oh, cool. But yeah, and then I thought, I was thinking about Lee's name, and it's like, oh, shit,

I have no idea how to spell Lee's middle name. Sorry, this is your brother. Yeah, it's my younger brother, Lee. I'm 30, and he's 28, so I can't go. And you don't know how to spell your younger name. brother's name. Yeah, like, Lee, obviously,

like, that one's pretty simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we're all pretty good on. We're good on me for the most time. There's no wrong answer to this. Yeah. What is Lee's middle name? McMillan.

Yeah. Hey, fucking, yeah, man, I get it. Wild, wild middle name. Yeah, and I was trying to think about it. It's like, ooh, uh, I feel like when I was little, I used to say McMillan.

Like, was that actually a gaslighting myself now, like to what it actually is? Is Lee here tonight? No. Oh, okay. That's what I wanted to know, too. That was a huge. No.

That was going to be a big thing. I'm safe too because he doesn't like listen to him of Bam Bam or anything. All right. Fuck him. You walk up to him and say, Hey, Lee, you think you're so fucking great? You don't want to listen to the show? How do you even spell your middle name?

Guess what, Lee? I know two of your three names now. I have power over you. Hey, can I say something? something, Bennett? Sure. Absolutely. Crabolutely.

Do not say your last name at that microphone. If you can't, you haven't said your middle name yet, but if you care about your brother Lee, you will not say your surname on that microphone. True question. Bennett is my middle name. That's what I go by. Got me again. Is your first name McMillan?

No. Hey, go to your brother and say, hey, right now, I bet you can't write my middle name properly. Because there could be like three ends in there for all in there. People get wrong all the time. It's two E's, two ins, two T's. The only ends by itself is the B. But one B. That's the trick. I would have written it but been it.

Oh, man. I mean, this is a tough one. Getting someone to write their middle name down sounds like how you like trick Rumpel Stiltzkin into killing himself or something. Can I tell you something? With no context, I tried to explain the story of Rumble Stiltskin to my daughters the of a day. At no step were they having any part of it.

Yeah, no way. They were like, wait, and the king thought, what? And he said what to her? And then she did what? And he had a spoon? And I was like, yeah, listen, there's no part of this that makes any goddamn sense. So, Bennett, does that help?

I mean, it's essentially just don't ask. No, don't, you can. Hey, someday your brother will die. No, no, that's the thing. Shut up. No, that's the worst scenario. Because it's like, what do you want to put on his gravestone? Right.

Just for an emcy scribble. Get it like a fancy script so you can't really tell you. Or a real age stone. We're like, this has been here since the 1800s. You don't have to wait for him to pass to get his gravestone. Our dad's already got one, which is so cool for us to go and see from time to time. Get it now. Get that middle name on there.

You're in the clear. Does that help Bennett? Sure. Thank you so much, Bennett. Thank you, Bennett. I'm glad we can help you so much. No one disagrees that we help. And thank you so much San Antonio

for coming to our live show tonight. What an incredible town. I loved it. It's fucking amazing. I love this. We have, of course, some more posters for sale out in the lobby. They were designed by John Barlow.

I am fucking wild about this poster and you can get one for yourself. We also, I believe, still have some Challenge coins for the Paul Subborn Memorial Can Food Drive for sale out in the lobby, which go to benefit the San Antonio Food Bank. Also, tomorrow we're doing Adventure Zone, and then my brother, my brother, me, and Austin,

and Griffin's driving the next to night, and we're driving there tomorrow, so I know it's drivable. Come on. I know you all could be there. We also want to say thank you to Paul and Amanda and Rachel and Clint, our dad, for helping us with the show tonight. Thank you to the Tobin Center.

Wonderful to be here. And thanks y'all for coming to our show. We really, really appreciate it. It's very cool. You've been absolutely rambunctious and fun. I hope you have fun. I hope you liked it. We had a great time.

I had a good time. I had a kick-ass time, and I want to thank Montaigne for the use for a theme song. My life is better with you. It's a bob. And I want to thank that cursor for being my shining stars. I genuinely do not think it's a cursor, Travis. We had to cut it every time because there's no continuity. Hey, we've been asking you for your fears that you want to be faster than in the year of our Lord 20 Thunder Drive.

What is our fear for this episode, Griff? This final fear to leave us off. This year, I vow to be faster than my fear that Dennis Rodman will show up unannounced and throw money at me again. My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother, my brother, me kiss your dad's square on the lips. with you.

It's better. It's better with you. My life. Ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true. Ah, ah, it's better. It's better with two. Go ahead. Ah, ah, ah, it's better with you.

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