My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 792: They're Not Drunk, They're Just Fighting

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Today’s episode is presented and hosted by three felt chicken wings named Justim, Navis, and Groffin. If you’re not into fuzzy food, they’ve also brought a variety of ways to yeet skeets, faux time-travel schemes, and Shakespeare’s suspiciously-named children. Something for everyone!Suggested talking points: My Son Excelisinor, Internal ComFUNstion Engine, Pop In a Bud, Cursing Santa is the Chase OrnamentHarmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapping, and two, A precious friendship I could have never seen

What was coming for me Hangs at the skate park Hangs by the beach My life It feels life Life It's better It's better with you

My life Ah It's better It's better with you This is true It's better It's better with two My way

Ah It's better with you Hello everybody Welcome to my brother My brother Meant and advice show For the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy

What's up, Travee Nation It's me your middle of this brother Travis Big Dog Wolf Wolf Wolfram VroomVroix What's up? Trave Nation's meet your sweet baby By the 30 and 30 meeting Illuminaer Gry from Macroy And beep beep beep beep beep beep

Guys check the Kiron Check the news papers check that there's a new there's a caron at the bottom of screen right now it says check it out and it says hamnet it says hamnet watch and this is a new movie out in theaters and it's called hamlet and hamlet is about the son of uh professional playwright uh bill shakespeare had a son and named his son hamnet and so this movie is called hamnet and it's a real guy his name was hamlet shakespeare and i wait that's a real guy i thought i thought i

I knew a lot about this fucking dude because, like, I've been in his shit before. Deep in his shit. Speak hands for me fucking in there. I thought I knew everything about it. He still got it. Thanks, man. I don't. I knew everything about this old Victorian man or whatever way before that, dark ages.

He had a son, cool, first of all. And he named him Hamnet, which is also cool because he also wrote a play and called it Hamlet. Now, hold on. That's awesome. This is what we need to talk about, Griffin, because I've known this for a while, and the thing that blows my mind, imagine, so Hamlet is a real weiner who murders people and, like, all this stuff, right? Shakespeare's son becomes a kill, like kills guys?

Well, no, that's Hamlet. Imagine if dad wrote a story about someone named Groffin, who was a real weiner who complained all the time and was just like and like killed a man I haven't seen the movie and this is a this is a Hamnet watch only

sort of conceptually because it looks so boring but it's he had the son first called the son Hamnet and then wrote a play about a real piece of shit and was like I'll call him something that sounds a lot like my son's name

and not the other way around I believe so yeah actually historically how it happened from what I understand he wrote Hamlet And then Anne Hathaway gave birth through their first child. Yeah. And she says,

Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now. What is, and she was holding the baby up. She said, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now. And she was shorn. She was shaved. Shorn. She did that again. She said, I like that.

It's not Anne Hathaway's wife, Griffin. Oh, sorry. And she says, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true to you now. What's the greatest thing you've ever created? And, like, without even thinking, he's like, Hamlet. And she's like, what? And he's like, I said, Hamnet

What? I said hamnet Hamnet and that's the name of our That's the boy's name now I would like to name if I may It's a family name For a while now It's a family name that I came up with

Because my father used to catch Hams In a net He was a ham fisherman And that's real It would be as if Stanley Younger Stanley Walks out of the hospital

Holding his little bundle and join, said, everyone, I'd like you to meet Spiberman. This is Spiberband, and he's my beloved son. I named him after one of my favorite guys, Excelsior. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I named him after him, but not really. Yeah, they said that you shouldn't name kids when you're drunk, but I called this one Spiberman,

and I put it on the papers and everything. I named it close enough to it that's very obvious, but for some. reason I change one letter. Just so fucking wild. This is my son, Excelsenor. Yeah. I haven't seen the movie. I assume it's just two hours of a man named Hamnet walking around going,

Oh, I can't believe this. Oh, man. Not again. Crazy. Everybody loves his play. I believe it's pronounced Hamlet. No. Yeah, no, I get that.

I get that a lie, but Dad put him in in there because he's a wordsmith or some fuck. I don't know. God bless Ham. Play from something rotten, Trave? What's the name of the fake show and something rotten? I don't know. Omelet. I'm kind of a job.

Amelette. Oh, it's hilarious. hilarious stuff. I just love Shakespeare. I love Shakespeare and I love all of his stuff. It's cool that this movie came out. And it's going to help old Hamnet Shakespeare's SEO, certainly. Oh, yeah, for sure.

I think we're going to get a lot fewer auto corrections. Like, um, did you mean the great, the great tragedy Hamlet? It feels like a secretable to Shakespeare in Love, but that's only based off of the three seconds that I accidentally saw on a TikTok. And I was like, is there Shakespeare in Love? But no, it's Hamnet. Okay, three seconds of Shakespeare in Love or three seconds of Hamnet? I saw three seconds of Hamnet. Okay, I thought you were saying, like, I'm too cool for Shakespeare in Love because I used to work at the Great Bards.

No, no, no, Shakespeare in Love rules. I'm saying, there's a moment where Jeffrey Rush says, the show must, and then someone says, go on and you're like that's how they came up with it it's brilliant that happens in hamnet no it happens in something wrong damn it no it happens in shakespeare in love they gotta stop making movies about shakespeare guys and then dan acroyd and tom hanks are hanging out and they fight a big snake no that's drag net sorry god that's dragnet the movie based on the tv show of the similar name which one sorry i don't know if hamnet is about hamnet or william shakespeare um well It's about, is William Shakespeare in it?

Is there an old... He better fucking not be. I'll kick his ass. If I see that dude, I'm going to kick his ass. Wow. Wow. Yeah, man. She's...

Yeah, dude. If you see him on the movie screen, you're going to tick his ass. You're going to say, kids, stay seated. I do that. You know how heated I get, and I have, like, real temper problems when it comes to people who wrong me. And if I do see Shakespeare on a screen, fictionalized, being played by an actor, the real guy, whatever. I will go in there

and kick his ass, Purple Rose and Kairo's stuff. Justin, I want to say that in your little short vignette of a scene you did there, were you imagining that Griffin has taken his 9-year-old and 4-year-old son to go see Hamna? I bet it's okay. I bet it's suitable for work.

Both scene and vignette were very generous there, Traff. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Yeah, it was. In that, guys, I'll be honest with you. From the moment, from the moment, you said, Hamlet, I have been imagining an animated film about a pig Shakespeare. Yeah, like Spider-Ham.

Nothing you're saying is erasing my pig Hamnet from my mind. It's just there. I love, Justin. So, like, in my mind, he was seeing Hamnet starring Seth Rogan as Hamnet. You know what I mean? In your mind, they wanted to make an animated film about Shakespeare. And they took the name of Hamlet and they said, no, no, no, we got to funny it up. Hamnet.

Okay. Yeah. Okay, so the movie apparently... Okay, guys, the movie starts a written prologue states that in Stratford Renaissance England, Hamnet, and Hamlet were considered the same name. I imagine this is like a...

There's no way. Return of Emperor Palpatine sort of crawl like, hey, listen up, you funny... Hey, chuckle fucks. Before you guys start busting on your podcast, you should know that they used to say these names pretty much the same way. Was Hamnet a nickname for Hamlet?

Yeah, dude. Sometimes they would just swap sounds around. That's why he came up with so many goddamn words. He's the great part. But I'll kick his ass if I do so. I know, Griffin. I get it. Yeah, man.

I work in the defense industry and routinely have to travel to military bases for my work. I'm also an avid disc golfer and love playing new courses. A surprising number of... What? Just that's awesome that those two things are true, but that's awesome. That's cool. I bet that overlap is bigger than you think. You think so?

between disc golf and the military? Defense contractors? Yeah. Yeah. You have to travel a lot. I bet you want any common ground, right? For people that travel a lot, I bet just like having something where you can bond with people. I'm also in a lot of things that fly through the air.

A lot about trajectory. A lot of UFOs. Yeah. Shorts. You can wear shorts while you do it. Surprising number of bases have disc golf courses on base, often right in the middle of everything, which presents a dilemma. How do I go out and rip discs that are having these serious military meetings?

That's from Desperate to Disc in Orlando. I don't understand why this is a problem and not an incredible opportunity because if you're out there, fucking Tony Stark, and you're selling huge bazookas or whatever it is, I'm assuming that you do.

I just assume it's huge bazookas. Or huge bazongas. Huge bazongas. And you say... Jason Manzooks. Yeah. You're ripping Zookas out there, and people are like, how do I know I'm getting a good deal on these 20 bazookas you're selling me? And then you turn around and fucking ace-ron?

Yeah. Especially if you yell, pull. Pull? When you do it. And then the bazooka goes off. Boom. Hit that disc. You say pull at a 10-foot-tall-Jason-Manzucas launches a clay pigeon into the air?

Hell yeah, dude. And you hit it with your disc and a clay pigeon explodes. And you're like, now, imagine if that was a bazooka. Yeah. You yeat your disc up into the sky. and someone blasts it with one of these new... You eat your ski and someone shoots a bazooka blows up the disc and then they say,

hell yeah, these are good bazookas and you say, what the fuck, man? That was on pace for an ace. It's been so long. I can't believe you blew up my disc. Fowardy. First of all, I don't love the idea that someone with this serious of a job is aware of.

of us. And I have tried to be pretty firm about that, that if you do have a real profession or something serious like that, we would prefer you find your entertainment from more erudite sources. I don't like the idea that I'm influencing anyone of import. Yeah, even subconsciously. Email us, tell us that you have a ding-tong job. Yes, please. I make my own bowling balls and sell them on Etsy, like that kind of stuff. Secondly, what's confusing to me about this situation is if you went to here and you started playing disc golf, what if someone else also started doing that? And then they wanted to talk to you about it and talking about how you were doing it and comparing it to the way they were doing it.

If that's a possibility, how do you even go on the boat base to begin with? I assume they're not playing disc golf on top of like an aircraft carrier. Because that would lead to a lot of lost discs. A lot of discs floating in the priming days. That's true. What does that mean? Finish, no, finish that sentence. You can't, no, no, no.

Justin, I want Justin to fend, no, I can't believe you fucking bailed him out. He was whippling. Print a new disc. He's my brother in print, Griffin. I got to back him up. I know you got to support a brother. Just because you're not a, Philly. You don't have to come and rain on our parade, you know?

Filament was the only. only other 3D printer word I can think of. I am a, a PLA pal. I also want to say this. If they put that thing square in the middle of the base, they're so excited when people are using it. You see that sometimes where there's like an aspirational pool

table that someone has put in like an office or something and they're like, everyone's going to use this. And then people are like doing their jobs. Like you would see it like in a firehouse, right? Oh yeah, there's a fire station. We put a pool table in here and they can relax and do it. They don't want to do that.

They want to say it. It's like when you're hosting a holiday party and you take out a tray of appetizers that you're very proud of and set them down. And you expect the gravitational pull of the table. Like, the whole mood should shift. Yeah. It's weird that people keep talking. You know what I mean? You kind of want there to be like, hush, silence, slowly turn. Those are pizza rolls. You know, like that you want the moment. Ooh. Cool party. Cool party. I'm kind of hungry now. Especially if you bust those out in the middle. Like, that's a good way to get. get over a lull or an argument? Oh, no, a politics argument is broken out. But guess what I have? Pizza rolls. No, you know, Travis, no, we're not talking about piece rolls, man.

We're talking about disc golf. It was a metaphor, man. I don't know why you're still talking about pizza rolls. You're really hung up on the metaphor of pizza rolls. I do love the idea of like you're negotiating or whatever you're talking. It gets heated. You're like, you know what? Let's disco.

I think things are getting a little heated. Let's take just like a quick 45 minutes to an hour. I don't know how long around a disc golf takes. First person to call it Frisbee gets thrown off the boat or the ship or the base. And then we'll, much like the disc, circle. Boat ship, whatever it may be. Justin really wants there to be a ship. And then...

This is like crazy about this ship that he imagined. Just like a Frisbee. I'm going back through the question to see where aircraft carrier... Can I finish my joke? Yeah, please finish, Travis. Just like a disc, we'll circle back. Okay. All right, now you're going to go.

Traff, can you do the joke again like a Frisbee because I missed it. Did it go over your head? Yes. Oh, fuck, dude. Dang. I'm operating on four hours of sleep. And what is the temperature? I didn't have...

What is your temperature right now? What's the current temperature? I'm 509 degrees in my house. My house was without power for 25 hours while it was under 32 degrees outside. And I'm bringing the heat myself. Yeah, you are, dude. You're an internal confundsten engine. My Ron Function engine.

I'm having a great time with you. Gervin's actually lowering his stuff. in his effort to compliment you. Griffin's getting worse. I just, I love that support. This is not, this is the opposite of a zero-sum game. This is a some-sum game. I am a therapist and I also have IBS.

Coffee makes it worse, but I need it to stay awake each day. This presents an obvious conundrum. Often I find myself in the middle of a session sipping on my ice mucko and my tummy begins to grumble audibly. I start sweating and let's just say that call of nature becomes uneniable. Up till now I've been white-knuckling it through the rest of the session when this happens, but it definitely

detracts from my focus. Thus, how can I maintain the quality of my services and also heed my bowels? And I don't want to read the name of this one, but I will. Am I a shitty therapist? Do you have an in-office bathroom, like an attached

bathroom to your office? Okay, I was wondering how in-office it would need to be for it to sort of red the needle. Originally, the thing I did picture was a port-a-body, but I think that might be, I mean, okay. Yeah, this might still work for the idea. Because after they tell you something, you're going to say, hmm, that's, oh, that's a tuffy. I'm going to have to step into my thinking chamber.

And then, like, you decorate it. But if it's a porta party, you can make it like a TARDIS. And you'd be like, I'm going to go back to your childhood and observe, like, how your parents treated you. I'll be right back. And then you're going to play some loud Tardis noises to cover what's about to happen. The Justin's doing the same thing. we we live we're the wind beneath your wigs this episode trap i'm loving it can't pull in to get a tire changed thank you you could get if you got a big enough singing bowl you could say

let's try a grounding technique close your eyes no i'm sorry you're not shitting into the singing ball i'm so sorry that you could shit in it while they rub it not know what's up that's a big ball brother no i'm i'm pretty sure the singing bowl needs to have its kind of form uninterrupted entirely you're not supposed to get those things away it's gonna yeah it's gonna throw it off yeah i'm trying to get that god tone and i'm trying to vibe it's not the brown no i'm saying with a big enough singing bowl you that thing's gonna be going for like four or five minutes which is should be enough time for you to get next door blast off and get back. Hey, if this thing starts to slow down, you just got to clang it again, all right? Or your meditation is going to be all fucked up and you'll have ruined

it. Oh, man. If I had a singing bowl as part of my professional work environment and skill set, I would never let anybody touch that shit. Yeah, man. My kids would always be coming in, like, let me hit the singing bowl and it's like, you guys don't even understand how to get the right stuff out of this thing. Wouldn't it be kickass if part of podcasting was like, just once in a while, you're like, hold on, bong, and just hit the singing ball, and everybody just had to shut the fuck up. Just, like, let the ball do it.

Let the bowl do its thing. I don't know if you clang a singing. Is that what you do with the singing ball? Just fucking whack it with a mallet or something? I don't think you're supposed to, I don't think you're getting gong action out of this thing. I think it depends on what kind of music you're playing. That's true, Traff.

You know, if it's scream metal that you're wanted to sing, I think you could do it. Yeah. Could you incorporate maybe get another, like therapist in the practice that you're like you can trade these kinds of favors with and you'd like slip them a text and then they pop in and they're like hey it seems like this guy is pretty well sorted um we've got a real this guy's childhood was real messed up i'm gonna need you to come over here for like five or ten minutes and help me through this one and maybe bring a book for me personally personally what are you straf maybe the second therapist looks a lot like you and you can get them to look away for a moment

and they travel there in the tortoise and it's you from the future you guys when you've already pooped you guys always bring magic into this if we're gonna bring magic into this well if the doctor isn't magic it's science base

apologies for trying to touch Oz over here pal okay well the doctor gave me a special machine and when I press it it makes the poop leave my body with a like teleportation. They should have a second therapist

that looks like you in the building in case you got to go do something. That's all. That you teleport that you teleport in fictionally? You, okay, you're going to have them lay on the couch like I assume

all therapists do, but I've never been asked to. I should probably find a new therapist because I've never gotten to lay on the couch and talk. And as they're talking, you're going to slowly turn the lights down to a very soothing level.

You're going to play some white noise and turn that up a little bit. you're gonna maybe like pump some aromatherapy in the air wait till they fall asleep good night and then you can go poop sleepy time here's that 432 hurts you can surf brother if you can somehow get the other person to poop then you with scare pro ask brain tricks will somehow be such a supportive yes a huge yeah i'm there for you i too will go to the bath Let's both take a bathroom. I'm very impruthetic. You've got to get the other person to use the bathroom more than you. That's what the water features there for, right?

If somebody's going to want to pee, it's going to be the patient. I actually have a set of stalls where we can continue this conversation. Let it out. Those are toxins. I'm a bad therapist. Those are toxins. Let them out. Those are toxins.

I don't know how any of this works. Here to help me as a professional illusionist, Darren Brown. He's just going to say some words. that are going to make some things start happening inside your body. Right. It was all your idea. But it was all your idea. But as long as you're going, I might dip out too.

Whoops, I also listen to Darren Brown. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, oh. Damn it. He got me again. How annoying must it be to be at the mall walking and talking with your friends? And then all of a sudden you just put both your hands up in the air and you look around.

And sure enough, Darren Brown's up there doing one of his specials. And he's like, I got you all fucking again, you idiots. God, it's easy to make you ants Do whatever the fuck I want This is a socialist What would you do if you work for Darren Brown Like around like pay negotiation time? You're like, Darren, I think I deserve a little bit more

And he's like, look behind you And then you look and you turn back and he's gone You know, it convinces you that you actually didn't need A pay raise the whole time Yeah, he's like, how much do you think you're worth? And you're like, I don't know, a dollar less than hour That I'm making now? What the fuck?

What the fuck? How did you? What did I say that? Don't even sweat the cost of living, boss. Why are my hands up over my head? Stop. Stop it, Darren. God damn it. I'm a high school teacher. Earlier this semester, I elected to cut my own hair. It wasn't that bad. Man. But one of my students runs a barbershop business at his garage. And when he saw my hair, he wordlessly placed his business card on my desk. Oh! Awesome. That's cool. Now it's time for a cut again. And after seeing his portfolio, I agreed to schedule on the appointment with him. Great. However, my partner recently mentioned that for the duration of his haircut experience, I will have to figure out topics that make good small talk. What do I talk with about a student who is good at hair, but who is not particularly high performing in my class? Should I avoid topics related to school? Should I use it as an opportunity to enrich his academic life? That's from overdue in a new do in Omaha. Can I just say, I love when this happens where, like, the first two-thirds of the question, I'm like, oh, I see what I see the problem. here and what the social and then you're like and that didn't bother me at all but I will have to speak with them what do I say and I'm like I thought this was going to be about the hair critique there's some extraordinary power dynamics that work here huh because you're the teacher and they are the student you're their academic life is you hold it in your hands and but also in this moment they're the one sort of holding the keys my keys I mean scissors I didn't need to put as many

metaphors in there as I did. Well, you could cut the threat of their fate, just as they cut the hair of your head. Yeah. Or just to put it simply in the classroom, you're in charge in the, in the barber chair. They're in charge. And that's complicated, but don't undersell this situation. This is a tough, it's a tough not. And I guarantee you this student is also having some version of this.

We all think connections a good idea until we're face to face with it. You know, we're staring down the barrel of it. And it's like, well, I have to connect. Time to prepare for that. There's also, oh my God, there's another thing. Hey, question asker, let me give you something else to worry about. If this was wordlessly exchanged, there was no talk of cost or price or money exchange. Oh, are you going to have to negotiate price too?

Oh. Oh, I thought it was a price. No, I'm saying that are they doing it out of the goodness of their heart as you're their professor and you need to some help or are they networking their business? Treve, I will say that sounds challenging yet, but not particularly funny. So I think that you are probably right that that is a problem. I don't necessarily want to unpack here, Traff. I want to explore the bribery route a little bit because it does feel like maybe this is

an extra. I'm getting panicky thinking about having to figure out what to pay this kid, and it is not my problem. I can tell. I can tell that your heart is actually raising. So let's take that rewind it back and go back to. there is something about someone wordlessly handing you anything that feels threatening to me. They should, they should.

A business card is one of the most threatening things to hand to someone worthlessly. You assume that on the back of it is a number that is either very good or very bad for you. Yes, correct. You know, whatever, it's a phone number of someone that can help you or it's a number that something costs that you don't have or they'll kill you. Yes. Something like that. What if it's like a cool, embossed gold? sort of business card with just like a symbol

on the front of it like some sort of like secret symbol with scissors or whatever in it and then you turn it around and there's just an address oh shit so this is it's like Kingsman it's like a squid game it's like a squid game Kingsman

Kings game Squidman I feel like we need Nicole Squidman re embrace silence and I think that it's not something that we do a lot on this podcast for obvious reasons, I think, being an audio show and everything. Let's try it. No, silence is a

covenant, you know what I mean? And I think that we forget sometimes that if you're sitting there thinking what to say and the other person sitting there thinking what to say, you're agreeing on silence, and to break it is to break a covenant. You know what I mean? Maybe we just embrace the, maybe we just embrace it. Maybe just embrace that covenant of silence. I'm going to say something that I know you guys will disagree with. I love that, Travis.

It's never stopped you before, man. Breaking social. When I get my haircut, I say, is it all right if I pop my AirPods in? I pop my AirPods in. I don't agree with this. And here's the thing. You called it exactly, Trave. You called it exactly.

I am of the opinion that they also don't want to talk to me. And so this. That's incorrect. Now, that is a huge guess because that's very person dependent. There are people running around that just love to talk to people. I've been going to the same hairstyle as for a year. We've developed a mutual understanding with one another. They understand, Justin.

I can't believe in the same minute that you established that silence is a covenant. Silence is a covenant that does not in technology to be reinforcing it. Because that's a barrier, right? Silence in that case is a wall. I'm saying, what are you cranking? What? What are you listening to? What are you listening to in those pods while you're doing?

Usually videos dissecting, well, maybe, videos dissecting horror video games that I'll never play. Yeah. They're too scary for me to play, but I do want to know what happens in them. Hey, Travis, you should try to hand him a bud next time. Hand him a bud. Pop a bud in there and have a share. I thought you meant like a bud wiser. No, I mean, crack a button if you want to, but like pop out, pop out a bud from one of your ears, pop in there.

She'd be like, you know about fucking Freddie Fasbear? Cut my hair. Cut my hair in two pieces. This is a YouTube short. Let's go to the money zone Travis don't hide behind your microphone after fucking nailing a landing like that dude Do not get sheepish when you smash

It's guilt I can tell it's guilt He feels guilty about the extent Which he's running the show today I was being impish Yeah you're gonna fucking You're Alan Iverson hanging from the rim With a coquettish little grain on your heart You just fucking got nasty on

it dude now let's go now we're actually going to go to the money soon Griffin yeah just one no just the main one that I'm thinking about right now that's really boiling my noodle I signed up for so many random apps and websites and websites and service and everything, I'm losing a million and a half dollars a year. Whoa. A year? A year. Okay. So this number you made up is dramatic, but it's also at the same time, like kind of conservative. I thought you were going to go silly, like 50 million a week or something. But like a million and a half a year is just on the border of believable based on

what I know about your financial responsibility. I made it up. Yeah. I made it up. There's a number. I made up because it would be... Travis, Rocket Money is going to save your life, buddy. You've got to get on it. Rocket Money is an app. It's a personal finance app. And it does a bunch of stuff. I would say the thing that is most frequently useful for me,

and it sounds like for Travis, is that it will go through your spending and it will find subscriptions you forgot about. Like, maybe you pay for twice and you forgot about it, and it will help you cancel those, help you lower your bills, help you track your spending, so that you can reach your financial goals

and grow your savings. It's a really truly great idea, and it works super great. They've saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million, which is more, traved than one and a half, in canceled subscriptions alone.

Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features. That's less, though. That sounds like maybe, though, you're going to be an outlier. It sounds like on average. Yeah, because it's probably an average. Yeah.

It's an average. Yeah. So huge is your waste that you might bump that average up a significant amount. That would be amazing. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions, Travis, please, Jesus, I'm worried about you. And reach your financial goal. I'm worried about me, too. I was going to fake my own death, but I'm really glad.

Don't do that. Yeah. Because you know why? It's expensive. Fuck. Instead, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash my brother today. that's rocketmoney.com slash my brother today. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother.

I'm going to do that instead. I think that that's better. Yeah, cool. Hey, everybody, not for jokes. When my house lost power and it was cold outside and my power was out for 25 hours. Yes, of course, I was worried about my kids and, you know, my wife and I, but we made sure to find an Airbnb we could stay in for the night where we could have our pets there because pets are a member of your family you love them you want what's best

for them you want to take care of them and that's not just an emergency situations that's every day baby every day you got to pamper that kid little kitty yeah i was wondering what you were i wasn't brave enough did you see the did courage failed i heard we had your tinto dude justin's just had to run a quick errand uh and so it's just me and trav here and we We shared a moment of fear and vulnerability in that moment when I said pamper, you're, and then I wasn't brave enough to say a different word about the kitty cat. But you do need to take good care of them, and Smalls helps you do that. Gosh, we need to get to say in the name of these businesses.

Yeah, that's true. Smalls cat food is protein packed and made with preservative-free ingredients that you'd find in your fridge, delivered right to your door. And starting with Smalls is easy. You share your cat's diet, health, food preferences, all that stuff, and they're going to put together a personalized sampler for your kitchie cat so that it can choose the ones that it likes best and after switching to small's 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements and that's a big deal from small's food justin has been using smalls for his two precious

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What? From, oh, oh, sorry. I got to do the intro. I forgot. I want to Yes I want a Munch I want a Munch Squad

I want to Munch Squad Welcome to Munch Squad It's a podcast with the podcast Profiling the Ladies and Grace and Brand Eating One of our favorite heroes of recent history in fast food advertising is back You may remember him from the, uh, do you suffer from need?

Yeah. Uh, commercial. Yeah. Uh, he is a giant, uh, buffalo with wings. Yeah. I can't remember who he works for, though. He works for buff. Yeah, it's weird, huh?

No, he works for Buffalo Wild Wings. And they're in a new, uh, a new promo. It's the first ever holiday campaign for BW3s. Not a brand that you think of necessarily. When it comes to the yule time. Is the theme of it, is your uncle in town? Probably. Please.

Do you know this is where, that's where when we were, I was in Cincinnati filming till death, it was Blart, and afterwards I had to wait for, for, get some food. And I had my pal, Tim Bat with him and had to take, do an American eatery, and where did I choose? That's the right, Buffalo Wildways. He's going to B-dubs? They went to B-dubs because that's the American experience right there. No problem. It truly is.

All right, truly. Now, so we're going to watch this ad. If you haven't listened to this year's deathblart, it's great. And the video's up on YouTube. It was an absolute treat. We got to spend some quality time with Timbat and Guy remotely. You ready? Yep.

And that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list. Oh, ho, ho. Santa, you bad, bad man. Ooh, hey, this Buffalo Wild We pick six is a real jolly miracle. A meal for two for a 1999? Nothing better. Dude. Off my wings, blitzin.

Oh, it's wet or pants all upset. Can we pause? Hey, knock it off, Antler Cloud. So this is a good time to pause. It is, I will... It's a great time to pause because there's been like five things. One, what's a jolly miracle? It's a jolly miracle.

Santa says that, like, it's a thing that any of us have ever thought about before, like a Christmas, like a happy Christmas miracle. I think it's a minced oath, Griffin, where maybe he was going to say it's a... It's a fucking miracle. Yeah. Jolly is like, okay, interesting. Fucking miracle. It's also the entire ad is presented in a Rankin' bass style. So we're being treated to fuzzy burgers, fuzzy wings, and fuzzy coax.

Each more decrepit looking than the last. I really hate looking at these yarn versions of food, guys. It's hitting bad for me. Dude, think about the mouth feel of one of those Linton sort of buffalo wings. Yeah. Are we not going to talk? about how they start it with the punchline of a joke where Santa says and that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list and they're like yeah this is this is what we want to lead off with this is Santa for 2025 maybe just a wrong okay we've got gifts to deliver fuck how am I going to fly my sleigh it's not like there's a flying mythical beast just hanging around with nothing to do you know I can't fly right

Oh, come on, Hank, you're scratching my sleigh. I told you I can't fly! I can't do it. My wings are decorative. You have to believe, Hank. Believe. Oh, I'm doing it, Papa. So he's flying.

Lil Hank is doing it. I mean... What's happening? I told you I can fly. Happy holidays to all, and to all go to Buffalo Wild Wings. You heard him? I don't, I don't want my kids. Is there anything visually that you need to address before we move on?

Because, like, that was a lot to take in. And it was like, it's surprisingly well executed. I think at least, it's adorable. Sure. Yeah, from a visual aesthetic. The thoughts are horrible. I think it's, I think there's an, the thoughts and ideas are horrible. And there's an inherent sort of failure to communicate here that is inherent, I think, to the

nature of buffalo wild wings trying to get a hand on the holiday ball i simply don't think it's your purview and i don't think this is their first ever one they're trying to get a leg in maybe they're making it a holiday thing but here's this is the thing though jay man um there's nothing in this that is specific to buffalo wild wings besides the fact that they're eating a buffalo wild wings and it's a buffalo with wings but even that could have been a different Buffalo Wing. Maybe this will help travel. Rest, right there.

I'm right there. Wing Stop, I guess, and Quaker State and Lou. Is that it? I probably others. It's a good point. Secondly, not any other Buffalo place has the first ever blind box inspired by the ads,

which is available exclusively to Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members. Is it surprised by like what kind of wings are you getting? Is that what you mean? they say in the release it says the brand's iconic buffalo with wings is brought into the holiday spotlight in a stop motion short that's styled like a 1950s Christmas special definitely

definitely um the story opens on Christmas Eve inside a Buffalo Wild Wings where hold on I just need to double check this yeah okay yeah Rudolph the Red Nose Radio definitely came out in 1964 so like I don't know what they're talking about uh hang and santa share a pick six meal for two and then they described the the ad which is packed with humor heart and unmistakable b-dubs energy let's touch on heart let's come back to humor this is fuck it's humor heart and unmistakable b-dubs energy okay i'll get i will grant you the former i will say that it made me there's an energy to this commercial that felt uh threatening

and like very masculine and so i We'll also grant you that it does have big B-dubs energy. They also showcase just two people getting randomly drunk before work and getting in a fight. So I don't know. They're not people, they're reindeer. So it's the heart. So it's, Justin, then it's animals getting drunk in a bee and a buffalo wildwigs. They're not drunk.

Animals came in and got drunk. Juice, listen, those reindeer were fucking faded. And I know that you have trouble sometimes sort of, you know, giving these, is the benefit of the doubt, but those two reindeer were, like, fucking zooted out. I mean, I don't want to see this hairy food anymore. I don't blame you, but, like, they got sodas. They clearly have sodas. They're not drunk.

They're just fighting because they're dickheads. Yeah. A random fight rakes out between two animals and a buffalo wild wings, and they were like, that's big buffalo wild wings energy. I like this cute Hank, though. I like this cute, fuzzy hamps. Hank, he's way less scary than the other guy, which he would have to be. I mean, he would almost have to be.

To bring the creative... Why does Santa say fuck? I guess is my question. I need to read this paragraph because it sucks. Please. To bring the creative to life for fans. That's how it starts. Fuck you.

I love to hear the creative referred to like a... Our Buffalo Wild Wings Imagineers. Yeah. I love to hear the creative referred to like it's a resource in Warcraft. Bring the group. I've got 200 of the creator, flese. Buffalo. Put it through the mill.

Put it through the mill and turn it into content. Buffalo Wild Wings is introducing a limited edition, Hank the Hall's Blind Box, for $20, available December 10th exclusively to new and existing Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members. They specify new and existing. Presumably, it's not offered to lapsed or banned Buffalo Wild Wings Rewards. members. Do you think there's a restaurant on earth that has a longer list of band-dand-a-wildwigs? Do Buffalo Wild Wings have their own sort of enforcers at the, like a sort of TSA face scan that they do before you come in? So thorough is their band list? Each blind box. Why is it, can I also to say Hank the Halls is nothing? Yeah, man.

Yeah, it's true. Hank the Halls is nothing. Each blind box features a felt ornament that brings the campaign to life. Starting with the star of the show, the chicken wing ornament. Fans will also uncover scene driven. God, I hate reading these words. This is really taking a toll of my spirit. Seen driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa midswear.

Seen driven keepsakes. From this one you just watch, turning the spots. Grandmama, where did you get this beautiful ornament of Santa. a swearing. Oh, that came from a Buffalo Wild Wings Bindbox on my first date with your grandfather. I got very lucky with that

Bimebox. Fans will also uncover scene-driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa Midswear, turning the spot's funniest moments into holiday decor. Jesus. You guys are absolutely

glazing this commercial. Well, Gerson, that's because it's a cheeky reminder. The Buffalo Wild Wings offers more than free food purse. It delivers more memorable rewards and unexpected delights for its most loyal fans. Okay, okay, this is where I want to, I want to dive into this for a moment. Take a breath, catch your breath, because I can tell this is really hurting you. When they talk about Buffalo Wild Wings' most loyal fans, I believe that there are people who enjoy eating at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I'm not saying that's not true.

but when you tell me there are people who are fans of Buffalo Wild Wings to the degree that they will not only get ornaments based on a commercial they've just seen the creative Travis please but also engage in a blindbox roulette scenario

The blind box is the most insulting part can I take the quote Listen here's here's a court quote Hank to Halls Marks Buffalo Wild Wings first ever holiday campaign And search to remind our fans That the holidays are a great time To come into our restaurants with friends and family

Says Tristan Maline Chief Marketing Officer of Buffalo Wild Wings The blind boxes are the $20 Blind boxes are our way of saying Thank you to our loyal fans with something special It's not Thanks give me 20 bucks For a fucking felt chicken wing dip shit

Because it'd be that you might are already have. You might already have. You've got random. Thank you. You're trying to get Santa swearing because it's so irreverent and fucking funny South Park humor. You keep pulling chicken wings and reindeer fights. We're all you gullible idiot. At Bdubs we're all about celebrating all your social occasions with our unique experience and delicious food and drinks. Hey unique

weddings, christening's funerals. Unique experience. That's really interesting Buffalo Wild Wings. Tell me why you have to shut down the Buffalo Wild Wings at the Huntington Mall and reopen as a Buffalo Wild Wings to go downtown. What a great experience that you don't even want me to have. Yeah,

sucks. While Hank is saving Christmas guests can pick, sorry, while Hank is saving Christmas, guests can save big with, this is a real, this is where it starts to get into like, are they trying to make people insane? Guess can save big with Buffalo Wild Wings

pick six meal. It's a Pick six meal for two, starting at 1999. With the pick six, guests can choose two entrees, two sides, and two fountain drinks, all for 1999. Options include ten boneless wings, the All-American Cheeseburger, or three crispy chicken dippers, pair with fan favorite fries, tots, or wedges. One of upgrade, you could swap in buffalo chicken ranch or beer cheese cheese steak for just $3 more. $20, guys. If that number rings a bell for you, it should. Uh-huh.

Because it's what they're charging you. to get a filled chicken wing, maybe, in a box. From a commercial made. If I say here's $40, head to Buffalo Wild Wings. Bring me 300 chicken wings or, or two reindeer fights. Yes, honey, I know times have been real tight this holiday season and our food budget is a little low. but I've made an amazing investment with our last $20. This is an investment in the accrual value of collectibles, Victoria.

Now, I haven't opened the blind box yet. You can either. But the energy off of it tells me it cursing Santa. Eat chicken wings tonight once. Or in 20 years, eat chicken wings every night of your life. Derek, you've bought 200 boxes. I know the cussing Santa is the chase ornament. I've got a system, Victoria.

As I keep saying, many of the boxes are just loaded with discarded bones. I don't know how their system is so faulty. They should be looking in the boxes even if nobody else is. You have to go in bulk. Did you not see Cherry and Marge go large? If you buy 200 boxes, you get at least four cursing Santas. That's where the money is. I've been watching all of the YouTube content creators as they've gone through their blind box system.

This is the meta, darling. Don't you understand? Do you not want to watch reindeer fighting on the tree every year? God, what a dope tree. If you show up and it's just covered in little tiny reindeer fights from the BW3s collection. Yeah, I don't know, man. They must have just dumped them into one big pallet. Then that was just the day I got there.

God damn. Okay, thank you so much to everybody who came out to the Camel Knights, the live version. But good news. If you weren't there, it's not too late. You can go to bit.org slash Camelight's 2025 and still check it totally out. It'll be streaming at December 19th at 9 p.m. And we're going to be in the chat. Correct.

Right? So you can still get your streaming ticket for that. And that's going to be a lot of fun. So make sure you check it out. Yeah, it's going to be on demand December 19th through January 4th. So you'll have plenty of time to catch it. And also all the proceeds still go to Harmony House, which seeks to end the homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

Got a link again, bit.ly.4 slash candle nights 2025. Your support is really, really, really appreciated. So thank you so much in advance. Over the merch store, we've got dice tray and dice tray bundle with balanced dice and the 2025 Candleinites poster and Candleinites Ornament by Scott Hotch. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Harmony House. So head over to Macquariemerge.com, check that out. Get some gifts, I guess, for people or for yourself.

worth it. Yep. Hey, do we have a... Oh, thanks to Montaigne for the use for a theme song. My Life is better with you. I'm so grateful that we're able to, you know, use that track as the introduction and outintroduction of our show because the energy and the vibe is just so choice. We've got a fear here. Find a fear to take us out of the episode, and I'd like to read it. Go for it. This year, I want to be faster than my fear that there's a second cheese packet in the mac and cheese box. Because you pull the one out And you don't want to dump it

Yeah, for sure My name is Justin McRoy I'm Travis McRoy I'm Griffin McElroy This has been my brother My brother me Kiss your dad Square on the lips

It's better with you My life Oh It's better It's better with you My life Oh It's better

It's better with you Because it's true, ah, it's better, it's better with two. By the way. Ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.