My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 802: Assassinating the Moon Queen

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

We like to think of My Brother, My Brother, and Me as a safe space to talk about sharp bazongas, sick contra-bassoon riffs, and your shrimp walk with Jesus. But you have to be sure to get those skin puppies fed first. Suggested Talking Points: Comic Relief Epona, Slick Skylar Gissondos, Only a Contra-Bassoon Can Defeat A Bassoon, Shrimp Out for Jesus Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me in the advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What's up, Travis, Travis, BraveNation, it's me, your middle-less brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolfo, Vroom, the heater, McElroy. Hi, I'm Griffin McRoy. I'm 38, 5 foot 10. I live in D.C., but I'm willing to commute for a long-term project, and this is my self-tape. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, for adult film.

Those are the only sides that were provided. it to me by Nintendo. And I don't know. I just hope I'm very enthusiastic about the project, and I'm pointing in my tattoo right now. So just something to keep in mind. I have the tattoo. Wouldn't be cool if Link had a tattoo of the Triforce on it. Probably going to do that anyway.

That would be applicable. I already got the thing. So this is for the Zelda movie? Yeah, this is my, we were told by Joel. And I'm starting to realize now because you guys didn't do it, that maybe it's, It's one of Joel's classic pranks that he likes to play on us, where he was like, records himself tapes, you're going to be Link. I think you're a shoe in.

And I said, I think you're a shoe in. For the boy hero of Link. And he said, no, no, no, trust me to love it. And so I feel like a fucking asshole right now because you guys look to me on. Space Alien. I think the confusion is, I'm pretty sure the boy hero of the Zelda games is named Zelda. Oh, he's gonna do. He's gonna do that bit.

That old chest nut. So. If you want, I could try. I have two characters here that I could try for it. From Zelda? Yeah. Oh, you got some Zelda? Listen.

Listen. Yeah. Listen. That's some options. Yeah. No, options. That's interesting for an audition. I feel like you should have one vision of the character.

And really commit to it. You had so many visions. That could be. Okay. Okay, here's another one. There's a character that I was told is a small but pivotal role in the film.

Okay. Oh, man, my warehouse full of jars. Yeah, what happened? Jars, man. Oh, my jars! That would be funny. They had my grandmother's ashes in them. Yeah, what if that did happen, though?

He's smashing up shit in Hyrule Town and, like, just a bunch of dust comes out, and he just makes silent eye contact with the owner the house like oh fuck fuck there's one last shirt is smashed that one on the mantle yeah no beating heart on the ground and he picks it up and eats it from strength blood all over his face why is it rated m there's one jar and he cusses a lot when he breaks it it's really wild i do i don't know why that's in there i have a problem with the zelda uh the link casting specifically where my problem is i keep trying to read the name of the cat that's playing

Link but I get so tired what do you mean? Through the name I haven't been able to make it all the way through. Joel said they haven't cast it anyone yet and that it's all still. So the two leaves are done. He said wide open baby. The other ones are wide open and I'm going to let you read for the

other ones. But unfortunately Link has been already taken by Benjamin Evannings. Oh no he fell asleep. Oh no he fell asleep saying the name. That's so rude. Justin. Justin, come on. I could try it. There's just so many soothing valves.

Yeah, yeah, sure. I can. Okay. Benjamin Evan. Oh, no, there you go. Oh, he goes. Justin, Justin. Justin.

Justin. I have a read for you. Buddy, wake up. Sorry, guys. It's the painkillers from the carpal tunnel release. It's like, I'm like way sleepy all the time. Yeah. So anytime I try to read the name of the guy who's playing Link, which is Benjamin

Evan Ainsworth. Oh, no. Benjamin Evan Ainsworth. Okay, that's cool. Is it three names? like a assassin? It's actually all one name. Whoa.

That's cool. Justin, could you give us a Gannon? What's a? Well, I don't think Justin's got Gannon energy. I mean, I'm no Matt Mercer, but I can't. That's a good point. We actually can't audition for that one because we know Gannon.

You know what I mean? How about Gannon's son, Gannon Jr? Listen, I sat down to a nice meal with Gannon. Gannon took us out to a nice L.A. dinner one time. It was excellent. Could you be Gannon Jr.? Like if they decided Gannon had a son in this one? Gannon Dorf is Gannon Jr.

A lot of people get confused because it looks like he turns into them. He's Gannon on his knees with like sneakers in front of his knees. And it's talking about golf and stuff. It's not very tasteful. Justin, can you give me, I mean, there's a role that I think the three of us could tackle. And in fact, I think once I say it, I might ruin our entire dynamic because the three of us will be so desperate to get this role. We'll do anything to get it. backstab, betrayal, slander, and that's tingle.

I think one of the three of us has tingle, the old nasty link, old nasty flying link, Tingle, him? I think that's a good thing. Let me hear your, let me hear your, let me hear your, let me hear your tinkle. So something like that. It's really good.

Thanks, yeah, yeah, thanks. I've been playing Majora's masks. So like I've, I interface with Tingle. on a deeper level. I want you to have it. You don't want Tingle? No, you earned it. You don't want Tingle?

You realize what this is going to do. It's the wire work. It's the wire work. He doesn't want to do the wire work. Yeah, that's fair. I'm very afraid of the wirework. Don't act like if fucking Shigeria Miyamoto rang your doorbell and was like,

Travis, we want you to be Tingle. You would say, Mm, Griffin can have it. That's crazy. Do you realize what this is going to mean for my career? I'm going to explode you. I would like to play one of the big busty fairies. No one's ever really talked about this before.

And I would love it if this. This could be, could this be a safe space? I get uncomfortable talking about sometimes sensitive, maybe trending erotic issues with you guys because you're my brothers and that's yucky. But no one's really ever broken, no one's broken down the fact that an ocarina of time, they said, okay, we're taking this franchise to the next level, 3D. It's like, that's great. What's Octorox going to look like?

3D Octorox? Awesome. I love that. What about these, what about a like-like? Yeah, we're going to take the design of the 2D like like and we're going to make it three-dimensional. And then they're like, okay, awesome. There are these fairies that float over small ponds, and when you go see them, they refill your health. And they're like, yeah, let's give them giganzo bazongas that are going to be sharp enough to cut through concrete diamond-tip fucking size triple J bazoongas, dude.

And someone was like, wait, what? Are you what? Let's have to have. They already got eight stitches. Yeah, it's like, tastefully suggested kind of off frame. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

These things are dead center. Cannot miss. Fishnet, one-sie, miniskirt, crop top, size Z bazonches, and we're going to have them be sharp and pointy. She's going to do nothing but scream. Birth live view. She comes out the flower. Bazongas are jumping.

Having a great time. If the fairies end up that gigantic with the boobs that sharp, someone in the chain of command is difficult to work with. Yes. Someone is difficult to have conversations. Like, don't bring it up. No, no, no, no, no. I know, I know.

I know the fairy, the giant fairies with the bazongas. Don't. Yeah, it's your whole day. Cuckoos? Two-D to 3D? That's a cuckoo. Fucking, uh, what are this little spider guys? Scultuous.

Two-D-3-D? Great. Love it. Just with these one, this one set. There's just wild and wild. Somebody at Nintendo at that time was a real giant honker fairy hardliner. Yeah. Who was like, guys, I will die on this.

Hill, I will take the code down with me. I will set fire to the servers if you try to cut these fairies. Someone, at some point, someone said to an artist like, and just think about how a fairy is going to make the transition from 2D to 3D, the artist is like, so it's kind of like when adult Robin Williams kisses little Julia Roberts and she gets gigantic with huge bazongas. It's like, wait, no, why are you drawing already? Stop, put your pen down.

I actually have a portfolio ready to go. Dave, not again. I have a mechanical hard drive loaded with many images that I'd love to share with you. And three backups, just in case it's in the cloud, sir. There's nothing wrong with the great fairies

having huge sharp bazanjas. But I am saying there is a story there. There's a behind-the-scenes story of one creator's passion that we will never get. Well, not with that attitude. Coming to Sundance this year, our in-depth documentary exploring how we got to this point from the Macroy brothers.

I could do a midna. Midna's just got to be kind of nasty and mean. Like, our, Link, you look great. Your ass stinks. That kind of like, like, both. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, more like comic relief. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that.

I like that a lot, juice. Your feet look like bananas. Nice. That's awesome. Why are you willing? Which one of you is Link? Why do you roll all the time? Stop yelling.

You should see my aunt's bazongas. They're gigantic. My aunt is a fairy. Minna is a fairy canonically. His aunt is not a fairy. Min is from the Twilight realm. I want to be a pona. What?

I want to be a pona. And this one, Apona talks. Yeah. You should have Apona talk. Give Link a sidekick the talks, talking about him. What would Apona's vibe be do you think? Oh, I don't know about this one, Link. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. Comic relief, a pun, I didn't even consider, but someone like, looks like you got me into another fine mess, little link. It's me, Josh Gad. I don't know about this, a little link. We're trying to get fucking parts in the fiction of the thing. You're giving that to Gad as a Pona. Gat hasn't had no spice to happen.

Josh Gad is now at a point. Watch Wonder Man and Travis's suggestion, great suggestion. Josh Gad is now at a point where not only does Josh Gag get to play all the roles. that he plays. He's also just like getting to play fictionalized versions of Josh Gadd. Yeah. Nice worker you can get it, Josh.

You made it at that point, I think. You made it, man. You made it. You made it. Yeah. Gathlice is what they'd be called. Let's start the program. We're long overdue.

Well, I'm happy to be talking to you. Together we'll do it once again. Make sure not. Not to laugh because that is a sin. That's right. That's the new energy song. Yeah. Very purestantical.

No enjoyment here. I'm a middle school teacher and recently one of my students was passing out Valentine's Day cards. She had made for some of her friends and her teachers. As she looked through the stack to find the one she had made for me, I noticed that some of her cards had Pokemon cards sticking out of them. I did not get a Pokemon card. but now I really want to know what cards she would have picked for me. Brothers, how do I tell this student I would like to receive a Pokemon card without coming across as ungrateful to a child? That's from seeking Pokemon in Poughkeepsie.

Have you let slip, and you can take some advice from me on this pretty directly, have you let slip subtle clues that maybe you are a Pokemoniac on the DL? Just dropping like little hints here and there, just like pointing at a kid's shirt and be like, oh, Onyx. Great. Like little stuff to let people know like, hey, I'm actually, I'm into this stuff. Don't be too obvious about it. If you have five Pikachu's and two faint, how many Pikachu do you have left to battle? Still five.

I'll get those two fucking going again. Don't even worry about it, dude. In the middle of the fight? Yeah, dude. Revive, Max Revile. I'll get those bad boys right back in there. There is no rest on my bench. I have no bench.

It's right back out there, pal. your kid's school's doing the uh slith in the valentine's day card exchange thing yes yeah it's a wild it's an absolutely unhinged unforced error unforced error like so unnecessary like why do we need the pressure one of the girls teachers this year said don't write names on them awesome so you can just yeah don't don't even personal like you write your name in there right yeah but you cannot even personal i want an unpersonalized stack of paper with your name on the inside and you just picked the IP. That's all you're basically saying is like,

I endorse the turtles. This year, the girls got like these little airheads candies with the two and from spots on the rappers. And we're like, this is great, we'll do it. Impossible to write on. And then I started writing on it. It wouldn't happen. And this guy, National Merit scholar Travis McRae

started looking at the airheads package to see if it came with instructions of what kind of how to write on it to use. It didn't. So I ended up writing all their names on it because my children are still learning handwriting. They're nine and six. They're not ready for the, you know, black diamond slope that is writing on airheads.

Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, they got, they had arabo, like, gummy bear packets with two and from on it. You can't write on, what? How the fuck am I supposed to write on that? How am I going to write Dyson? How am I supposed to write Dyson on a, on a package of Haribou Gommies? Impossible. Can you just say I'd like a, hey, I think this.

could bring you to, if I was a kid and I was in a Pokemon, that's basically how it was. So if I, if when I was a kid, when you were a kid, when I was a child, then, then a teacher came up to me and was like, hey, I'm also super into Pokemon. No, you can't fucking do that, huh? Can't. I also like Pokemon. Check out my card. What card do you think I'd be? I spied you passing out some Pokemon cards. Yeah. Notice I didn't, you didn't grace my palm. Yeah. With anything, any ducats? I think there's a way to do that and just say like, you know, I'm also into Pokemon. What Pokemon do you think I'd be? Is that too much?

No, but like you hear it, right? You can hear it. You can hear it. I think that would be a fun to say like if everybody gets like this score on this test, you're all allowed to anonymously write on this card what Pokemon you think I would be. The kids would eat that shit up. Who wrote shit eater? This is what I'm saying, meaning you're going to get some problematic responses. You're talking about an interesting phenomenon that I have noticed, though,

where Pokemon card trading has been now a thing or a concept for so long. Right. It is basically past a generation to where you will hear people have conversations about Pokemon cards as sources of stored value. It's almost become like an intergenerational sort of exchange where, like, we all kind of know what Pokemon cards are worth. There's like the span of 20 years. We're like, we can kind of agree on the worth of that.

And you can see that continue to evolve. It's like this secondary currency that has arisen and fallen alongside the USD. Yeah, I have a sort of opposite investment portfolio, which is a website I've saved tracking the value of the entire original series of Pokemon cards and how much they're worth now because I definitely fucking had those at some point. But then I did like sell them in, I don't know, 2005 for a gaming PC. Peak of the market, you probably thought.

And so now when I look at that, it's like an opposite of how much I've lost, not how much I've gained, which is what a lot of people do when they trade the markets, but how sort of, how bummed out I should be. Oh. I don't need a lot more sources of stuff like that, but it's nice to have a kind of numerical value. Something you can count on. And it really makes me pay attention to not giving away things now. That may be worth a fucking lot of money. money somehow. I'll help you maintain more of a selfishness.

Yes. In your day to day. Tollishness. Yes. Agreed. Nothing brings me joy in my house, but a lot of things bring me anxiety that if I got rid of them, then the next day, Jake Paul will be like, this is worth $100 million actually. And I'd be like, God damn it.

This is a big one actually expert. With Jake and Logan Paul just declaring randomly what they think things are worth. I've been pitching this show. For 30 years. Hey guys, Jake Paul here, and I'm here to announce that these six old Disney magic bands are all worth $100 million now. So I hope no one got rid of those yesterday, Griffin. Fuck, dude.

Here, Jake Paul, this is my easy bake oven. I've had it since this as a kid. He just rips it apart of his bare hands and bitcoins fall out of it. That's where they've been the whole time. You're wild. There's no other white coin's in there. This is worth nothing. I broke it.

Every other easy bake oven is now worth a billion dollars. I am a genie named Jake Paul. And I will curse you. I'm a first-year college student at a music conservatory. We have a dedicated building for practice rooms, and the walls happen to be not too noise insulated. As I travel up and down the floors, you'll hear a loud trombone glissando or a virtuoso piano concerto.

Sorry, I messed up piano. Why piano? They stuck it in there between two wild words. Damn, you know. Piano Piano Pianissimo. How do I... That's what I meant. Yes.

I meant piano. Concerto. Volume. Yeah. How do I let these people know what they did was sick? Every door has a little window. So I was thinking of giving them a thumbs up. However, I want to be mindful of their practice time and focus.

Do I leave them a little note? Maybe paper, airplane it in through the open practice window? That sounds like more of a distraction. I like people editing themselves as they type. No, not that. I should delete that sentence. Nah, I'm too far. Brothers, what do I do?

That's from spreading support in Cincinnati. Listen, as someone who played trombone in middle school, I think I can speak with confidence when I say the two examples you've listed here, not exactly the same. Right? I hear someone playing a sick piano concerto, and then somebody else just go into town. on a trombone.

I mean, if I hear, you know how hard it is to pull off a slick lasando, right? Like, I think, to bust out a, to bust out a Skylar Jizondo

on the trombone like that seems like it would be definitely worth applause. I mean, I think you gotta celebrate the achievement in the moment that it happens. Yeah.

I think that you, if you get a note later, I think that that's, the person is going to think, well, they probably felt bad for me because no one was cheering when I actually did the thing.

I think when they hit the note, I think you just got to give them like, now you're cooking, baby! Yeah. Like that or like, it needs to be immediate. Cook it, baby. Cook it up in the kitchen. Turn up the heat, Frankie.

Yeah. If their name is, I don't know there. Maybe they're on the doors. I don't know if the names are on the doors. Pop that shit in the friar, dude. Yes, exactly. Turn the thermostat up. Frankie.

It's too cold, baby. Yeah, that's cool. Trav, you do one. Yeah. I was thinking if something else. Oh, you weren't listening? Oh, Trave, the jokes were good.

Yeah, Traff, that's the best time to do another one because you're going to take it into a funky direction, man. The jokes were really good. It would have been really fun to get up on that one, man. What if? It was an easy one to do. It was an easy good jokes. It was like, I was like,

I was like, I was really easy. I want to tell him about it and tell me. Yeah, yeah, please, because I was thinking of a different vein of jokes. Listen. all you had to do the joke was you had to be like something something Frankie and you're kind of yelling

and then said something about temperature it was so easy and it was like really funny and it didn't take any brainwork at all you could just kind of vibe Frankie boil that frog yeah I do think if it had been like more close to the bit

it would have so what about this they hear a knock on the window they turn and look it's you in a phantom of the opera mask yelling bravi No, no, no, no.

You're so close. You almost had it. You almost had it. You're in the Phantom of the Opera Mask looking in the window. As soon as they turn to look at you, you give him a and you're away. Oh, and you're gone. If you fucking make a big deal out of it, they'll know like, oh, that's some dude in a mask. But if you get out of there quick, like really quick and they don't see you, now in their mind they're like,

do my getting Phantom. And then you mention into someone else, like, he only appears to the most talents. Yeah. Only the most talented monks that I've seen the Phantom. Yeah. And after that, you can leave. little notes signed from the Angel of Music for that point forward.

Like, that was a sick, Trambung Losando, the angel of music. See, Trav, you knocked on the door, and in my head, I'm like, why, why did we stop knocking? Oh, you're joining it. They get up to, open the door. Yeah.

It's like, knock, knock, knock, knock. And they get up to open it, but it's like, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. And you're jiggling the handle to give it some high hat? Very funky. Yeah, music is everywhere. They would love that. I will, I will let you in.

Please stop. And then you break the doorknob off and they're stuck. It's locked. Please stop. You're turning it while I'm turning it. We're both turning it. Does your guys Algo serve you up videos of people like walking around in the park with their violin and they see someone like DJing or something? They're like, can I jam with you?

And then they jam together or like they're walking around and there's people like drumming on the subway and they're like, can I jam? Or they have two saxophones. They're like, let's blast. Do you guys get those videos? happened. Griff? Yeah, I actually just got served one of these and it pissed me off. I want to hear what you were talking about. It pissed me off because it was a man who walked around with like eight turntables. Yes. And a bunch of DJ equipment. Yes. And 12 microphones. Who happens upon him? Wycleve, Jean. Just happened. No, you found he went looking for White Clef. I think he, I think you dropped a pin. That's all I'll say. I don't, I think someone dropped a pin.

because I have been walking around lots of times, never with DJ stuff ever, and have not once seen Y'Klef Jean. You know what I mean? Oh, that's so funny. And they were filming it too? Damn. For me, my problem is whenever I do see Y' clef Jean here in Cincinnati, Ohio, I never have my DJ stuff with me. I know. And then when I have my DJ stuff with me, I can never find him.

Travis is like, let me get my recorder out. And White Clef Jean's like, I'd rather, no. No. No. No, thank you. Not the recorder. Please. Do you think when two people are playing saxophone at the same time, kind of facing each other

doing like dueling saxophones? Yeah. They're worried that if they get too close to one another, it will form kind of a seal. And when one blows, it'll puff out the other one's cheeks and explode their lungs. Yeah, that's a, and that's a huge, huge, huge concern. When you're playing the saxophone, it's the only instrument that you have to breathe in and out through it. Yeah.

You can't, you can't remove your, if you break the seal of your omiture, Then the reed loses all of its rigid rigidity. And so you have to breathe in and out of it. And so if the two bells touch, when you breathe out, that air is going to go straight into their lungs and pop them. Yes. And that is where bassoons come from. Oh. When two saxophones love each other very much, their bells touch, one blows into the other one until the cheeks explode.

And then a bassoon comes out. And then a bassoon comes out of bassoon. If you hit a boat down, down, left, right, left right, B.A. start contra bassoon contra bassoon sure doesn't make any sense didn't make any sense what you just said why did you bring contra why did contrae get invited to the party

because a contra bassoon is an instrument and that was a contra bassoon that directly opposes the bassoon it's the bassoon I've never heard of this evil twin bassoon the opposite a contra bassoon I've never heard of the only thing to stop a bassoon is a contra bassoon right now because you're in for a real treat

because this thing is a yo yo Yeah, man. Hey, click to share. Can you not even share a picture or whatever? You're looking at pictures over there at a contraposoon. I mean sharing pictures.

I'll share the picture in contrapsune. I don't know how to do that shit. You always do that shit. Really? Just press the share button. Do you not have a share button? Well, what if it's, yeah, this is a YouTube video. Oh, so loud.

You guys. You guys. You guys are really quiet in my mix. So I turned up my headphones really, really loud. Because you guys, I thought your mics were quiet. So I turned you up really loud thinking like, well, I'm not going to hear any other sounds while I'm doing this. And then I accidentally opened up a video of a guy playing the contra bassoon. And it fucking shattered my eardrums.

Okay, hold on. I got to get this fucking thing up here. I got to figure out how to share the contra bassoon. Okay. Oh, man. I miss Googled. And I searched for contra baboon. No, don't do that.

And I got some wild stuff. I got a contra bassoon right there. Screen share. Get rid of this. This is what I need to show you it, though. You got to see the size of this fucking thing, man. Let me get theater mode. Can you see, you ready?

I don't think you'll be able to hear it. I hope not. I can't hear it. Look at that bad boy. Oh, that seems hard to press. It's broke. Hey, dude, it's broken. I don't think that's what it's supposed to sound like.

Dude, your shit's broke. Dude, he's fucking ripping, man. Dude, it's all such a shit. Your fucking drumming ass, dude, it's not music. That's a point as they've ever seen. That can't be it. He's going. Ah!

To the modern one, which is up. Yes, dude. Don't stop, please. That's a gun. He looks like he's about to assassinate the moon queen. Are we going to get it now? blast. Oh, this one note.

Everyone remembers. Everybody knows this. That's not a note. That's not a note. It's an engine starting. That's a W-flat. He's hitting right there. I love that.

Oh, my God. This is a fucking jerk. But we're on the other side of the thing. What's that like for him? Why is he pretending like it is a musical experience? This freaking guy. God. That man is actually 19 years old with the vibrations of the contrauma bassoon of Asianian gave him Jack disease.

He got contact Jack disease from his contra bassoon. It's so fucking big and deep. That's what she said. And it's not, it's like they made it so big that it sounds bad. Yeah. And it's like, good job. I guess. That's the guy that there's one note in the entire like concerto that you need a contra bassoon.

And they're like, yeah, that's why you're here, Doug. He's my nephew. The sheet music is like a CVS receipt with the number of staves they have to go down just to reach it. Oh, man. We've just printed out your sides, Doug. It's just this one note, I'll point to you. You'll know when it's time, Doug, because the whole place will get really quiet. And he'll just...

You'll just blast. Oh, man. Let's take a break. And we'll come back and talk about our thoughts. We actually have settled into a morning routine here where I have not been able to keep up my end of the bargain. Oh, no. Because I can't open the smalls for the cats in the morning. Oh, no.

It's really put a damp part in our relationship. I've gotten to a point now where I've asked Sidney to open the package of the delicious smoothbird or whatever while I stand next to her. So at least the cat still associate me with a delicious, flavorful nutrient pack for. food from Smalls. Maybe she'll think you're some sort of new, four-handed food distributing entity that now dwells within this household. Or maybe they'll get the completely mistaken impression that you're somehow in charge of Sydney and make her do it for them. Gosh, they are actually too smart for that because they kind of are in charge in our house. But that means that I like taking care of these kitties. And I like giving them the best food that I can. And I feel like Smalls does that.

It helps us to control their portions because we used to just do like, kind of, kind of of grazing dry food, so the smallest has been great for that. Their coats look really nice. They have a lot of energy, and it seemed to have really been great for them. Which one's your favorite? Probably Other Bird. No, I meant of the cats. When it's late at night, Travis and I am feeling a little peckish, I reach for Other Bird

or Smooth Pig. No, which of the cat? Which of the key cat is your favorite? Stop guessing which meals are going to upset their stomach. For a limited time, because you're my brother, my brother, me listener. or get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. One last time, that's 60% off your first order

plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. Which of us is your favorite? You guys know how some people call their pets, their fur babies? Yes. Is it okay to call a baby like a skin dog? A skin puppy. A skin puppy.

Squirt. Squarespace. You don't want to talk about that, do you? Check out Griffin's new website, skinpubby.com. It's a bad idea. So. Guys, I can't. You can't do this city.

I'm on the IR. You can't, please, please, I can't register that domain right now. You're right. You can't type that fast for the domain. Ah, my hands. Oh, no, only skinpuby. Dot edu is left. No, do not.

I don't want to learn about scoot puppies. Listen, if you have a thing that's actually stands the test of Christ's judgment more than skin puppies, and you want to put that up on the internet, that is a killer idea. Have you thought about how you're going to do it? Because there's like one way that you can do it where it's going to look really good and it's going to be super easy and it's going to make it look like you know your shit. And that way is Squarespace. What's the other way? Like I guess some other service where it'll be like, all right, start. Start coding, and you're like, fuck, I don't know anything about it.

You better put the stuff where it looks good. Watch the kerning or whatever. Squarespace does that stuff for you. We've all used Squarespace to make websites that look extremely high quality, extremely professional. And you can too, because it's easy. If you do, if you sell stuff, your goods or services, there's a bunch of different ways that you can get paid and, you know,

sell those goods and services. You can generate invoices. You can streamline your workflow with, built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. It's really whatever you need a website for, Squarespace, is going to be an amazing way to do that. I'm not just a paid spokesperson. I'm a customer.

I also use it. I have a new idea for a website where I get celebrities and people can commission them to hit home runs for them. In the spirit of heater for the big boy, they'll hit home runs for the person and then it's in the cinema video of it's called Whamio. Whamio, and that's for home runs. Squarespace will even let that happen.

Squarespace will let that. Videos of home runs on behalf of people. Yeah, yeah. It barely stands up in the judgment of Christ's light, but I think that it will make it on Squarespace. It'll look good. We have a lot of celebrities already ready to go. Okay.

Most of them are celebrity like TikTok animals. Okay, so that's I don't know how you're going to get a video of them hitting a dinger Well, you know, there's some wire work You have not thought this through Head to Squarespace.com

slash my brother for a free trial And when you're ready to launch Use offer code my brother To save 10% off your first purchase Of a website or domain Bambi Bipababit Beet me

Beet Beem Bha da da daeepa Padaeempaeepin Bhao I want a much. I want a much. I want to do the whole fucking thing, man.

You can't just get me a sum of Frankenstein. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I was like a few bars in. I was like, heck yeah. Yeah, man. Okay, listen. Nailed it. This much. Every eight bars, that song is like,

let's shred in a different radway. Yeah, I'm actually going to add a guy going Wham-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Drum solo. And they bring it the fuck-Daw. I brought in a space man from Mars to do this part where he's like, squeal-l-l-L-L-L-L-L-E. Yeah, perfect. The Lenton season is upon us, as you know.

I saw, I had to explain to Gus this morning as we were driving to school. He saw a bunch of people with ash on their forehead. And I had to explain what that meant. And there were maybe other conversations that would have been helpful to have with him before this conversation. Any kind of context, perhaps. Kind of just threw him right in. It kind of walked in when they're revealing the nature of the smoke monster,

and it's like you actually need to be in a hatchet of the first U.S. The Lenton season is upon us, and it does delight me that, like, despite them being largely agnostic most of the year, the fast food industry does fall all over itself to offer people. Seafood options for Fridays. when they need to eat seafood. Doesn't it say a lot, though, about those options? I've always found this funny,

that they don't offer them the rest of the year. Like, they know that these are the real B-stringers, where it's like, listen, we know. We know you don't have to. You can't do shrimp. I just like, I just, I'm not a Catholic, as you know. What? So I'm not as familiar with the rules of the Lenton season.

I understand there's many religions that have, you know, rules about diet or whatever, so I don't want to be too flippant about that. I do, in my understanding, though, I don't think Jesus's idea was that for this certain time of year you would play on seafood feasts every Friday. I don't think Jesus meant for you to have

seafood feast Friday for this whole season. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He wanted more filet of fishes out there. So he took one. He divided the flail of fish and made enough for, everybody to have some filet over.

I'm sorry, I'm thinking about this now for the first time, and I don't want to be some religious or anything, but about three quarters of the disciples were fishermen. It's a little bit suss that he was like, oh, and one day of the week is only eat fish days. Yeah, wink. And make sure to stock up for leftovers. Is that any?

Yeah, right? Make sure you pay your taxes on it, right? Guys, you're going to be into that. Smash Burger introduces new shrimp lineup. for Lent, okay? So listen. Hold on a little. I'm going to open an image.

I'm going to tell you about these. I'm going to tell you about these lineups that they have for Lent, okay? But just imagine a god. Imagine a deity where you're like, this is what I'm eating for you. Deity's like, ah, good job. That's what I wanted you to do. Thank you for practicing restriction and moderation. Thank you.

Thank you. Do this in remembrance of me. smashed this fried lobster roll. Thank you. What a sacred. Wow, beautiful. You could have had a hamburger today and you did it. Chat.

Amazing. You just had butterfly shrimp with bang bang sauce. Okay. Chat, we're looking at like Texas toast-sized French toast wrapped around a long and extraordinarily crunchy shrimp feast with a bunch of orange sprizzled across it. I do see what appears to be... A bunch of orange sprizzled across it. And we have leaves.

Eat of this bang bang sauce. It is my blood. Because I'm awesome, dude. We got two big baskets of popcorn dealios with french fries and everything. So it's, I mean, it looks good. Smashburger, the fast casual restaurant company that popularized, what? Smash burger? Smash burgers.

That's what it says in the press release. Sure. introduced its new shrimp limited time offerings, adding fresh seafood variety, because I think freshness when I'm looking at this, this pile of brown, fresh seafood variety for in time for lent. Hey, can we do that, by the way?

Can we start press releases about us as like, my brother and my brother and me, which popularized my brother and me? Yeah, good point. At Smashburger, we're always looking for ways to bring fresh flavor and variety to our guests. And our new shrimp offerings do exactly that, said Tom Ryan, the founder of Smashburger.

How lucky. Lent is a time when many people look for seafood options, and we wanted to deliver something that meets that need while staying true to the great tastes our guests expect. The new shrimp lineup brings a delicious twist of the season, the season, full of flavor and offered it a value that makes it easy for guests to enjoy something different. We know that the other 325 days of the year, you guys think about eating like fish and shrimp and stuff that are in the ocean and you're like, ooh, yucky. We know that. So imagine you are sitting down to dinner, okay? And Travis, you're Jesus. Okay.

So I need you to see like, like you snuck up behind me and I'm eating dinner and just be like, oh, good job, Justin. What are you having? Hello, my son. Ah, Justin, my favorite. You're having a great lent. What are you eating in my name? Scorching big shrimp roll. I'm doing it for you, Jesus.

I mean, a scorching big shrimp roll. It's a dozen crispy shrimp, marinated in scorching hot spices, leaf lettuce, and rumulade sauce served on a butter toasted roll for you. I never ask you to do that, Justin. Thank you, Lord. No, there's so many other things that. Is this what you wanted in your Bible? What have you been, which Bible have you been reading, Justin?

I've given everything for you, God, because of you, I'm eating a, I wanted to get a burger, smash burger. Instead, I'm eating a scorching shrimp basket, which is just two dozen crispy shrimp, marinated in scorching hot spices served with French fries, rimelod sauce, and chippole mayo, Jesus. Justin, you're crying. You're crying and just chugging milk. Because I wanted a burger so much. Jesus, but instead I have to eat two dozen crispy shrimp served with french fries, rumuland sauce,

and chapolet mayo. You didn't have to do that. You could have had like some nice tuna, maybe like a salmon filet? No, Jesus, he couldn't have. Hi, I'm Jim Sullivan, CEO of Smashburger. Jim, our new shrimp lineup is... How dare you, Jim. His quote starts actually Jesus.

Actually, Jesus. Our new shrimp lineup is more than just a seasonal edition. It reflects our commitment to me. meeting guests where they are and giving them fresh reasons to choose Smashburger. But shouldn't they be choosing me, Jim? No, no, Jesus. Taste has always been at the heart of our brand and our greatest competitive advantage. And now we're, I guess we're adding Jesus into there and doing what he wants.

With these flavor-forward seafood options for Lent, we're reinforcing our leadership and fast casual and showing guests they can count on Smashburger for bold innovation and real value. I'm more of a Taco Bell man myself. That makes sense. That tracks. I wanted to get the scorching cheesy Macsmash. Jesus, can you make the Doritos Locos Taco come back at Taco Bell?

Do you have any... It's the one thing I can't do. The one thing you can't do is bring back the Doritos, the specifically cool ranch Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bo? I can bring them back at limited locations. Listen, Griffin, it's called Good Friday, not Great Friday. I'm a cook. I love making all sorts of food, but one of my thoughts.

favorite ingredients to work with are beans. This week, me too. This week I made a large batch of red beans and rice, and I've been loving it. My husband is not. This morning we had a full coming to God meeting where he told me that I was farting in my sleep all night. It was so bad that he had to leave the bedroom at 5 a.m. to go in the living room to escape my emissions.

The problem is, I still have two pounds of cooked beans in the fridge and about eight pounds dry in the pantry. I don't want to throw them all away, but I can't trust myself not to keep ripping ass in the twilight hours, what should I do? That's from Garbonso Glutton on the Gulf Coast. I think my first question is, why did this nasty dog well can wake up to smell your farts? That's crazy, yeah.

Go back to bed, Gerald. You know what I mean? Like, why are you up and farts? Why, Gerald? Go back to bed, dude. There's no way you were dreaming. You smell to smell where you're like, whoa.

There's no way, dude. You're not fucking goofy. You're not goofy. You didn't get, lifted up by the sitways on your nose. No way, dude. I woke up to the blanket floating six inches above the bed. Gerald, I'm on the iPad connected to your account.

It says you have a timer set for 2 a.m. every morning that says it's fart time. Hmm. Do we need to talk about this? One bite of beans a day till they're all gone. Microtose. Yeah, like your fucking Andy Dufrain. Scooping walled dust. what's, there's some beans, I mean, here you go, you know.

Yeah, sure. I do want to say, and I know this is maybe a privileged position to take, but there aren't many medicines out there that are more, there aren't that many medicines out there that are more sort of self-instructed as to what they help with than beano. Yeah. Beano is it, do you know what I mean?

Like, it's like if there was when you, if Dayquil was called like coldo or something like like, this is what you do Sneezo. It's like this is what you eat when you have beans and it helps digest the fiber is better. And it also is like, and if you take it

there'll be no gas and it's like that's a double. That's a great. What? What? You're done. You're done. You're done. It's the greatest product. That's not those that you don't reach for often, but when you do, it always hits. Bino always hits. Have you tried Bino? Yeah, dog.

I'm going to contradict my own one spoon a day idea with one day, 10 pounds of beans, get it all over with them one night. Let your husband know it's going to be bad. Yeah. It's like the worst it's ever been, but for one night only. like a pay-per-view boxing match one night only. Yeah, when I was in college actually, or actually, I graduated, I did take a, I had a similar situation.

I took a beanwalk where it was two weeks, and I just brought, I think it was eight pounds of uncooked beans with me in my satchel, and I had my pan, and I would just find water sources, and I would just travel. I mean, I traveled for weeks, just farting and eating beans. Just ripping ass. It was a beanwalk.

And I actually, I made it to Dublin. I met Ewan there. You fart hikes to Ireland? It carried him across the sea. You fart height to the Emerald Isles? I met you in there. And he actually put me in his sidecar because I'd exhausted myself. Well, yeah.

So did you walk to- Nutrient Efficiencies by that point? You crammed the eight pounds of beans, walked to Boston, did a fucking Super Mario 64 backwards long jump, ass rep. It was more of a baby stay out Mr. McGoo thing, where I, like, walked into the wrong shipping container and closed behind me. And then I got...

And did you keep walking in a shipping container just to keep your steps up? Yeah. And you died within an hour because of how you'd filter it up with your bean mistakes. You could also go spoon for spoon with your husband and just be like, hey, if you want these gone,

we're doing this together. I eat a bite, you eat a bite. We're going to hold hands, you know, through the storm as they were. man I'd say throw them out but then you're going to have way more beans because they'll grow up. A lot of giants coming down. The giant's coming down.

Definitely. I was going to say like there's definitely you know places in your community that will accept beans. I will say two things. One, beans is kind of does take a long time to cook and also like you don't necessarily want to give people who are in close quarters the gift of like here Why don't you guys eat a thousand beans?

So bad. Why don't all of you fart? This much of the beans made me fart so bad. My husband woke up. So this many beans could. If you guys want to swim at them like Scrooogick Duck? There are so many foods in my pantry that I'm like, oh, you know what? I just remember to have this thing.

I can make this for dinner. And then like I look at the instructions and they're like, oh, do you want to have this for dinner? Start it yesterday. And I'm like, oh, well, I didn't do that. And then they remain there. Yeah. Forever. You got to think about it.

It's like cold brew coffee when you think like, man, like people who make their own, like, man, love to have some coffee tomorrow. Yeah, but I don't even want beans today, let alone tomorrow. Like I don't, you know what I mean? I'm not going to set myself up like that. You do have to, it is, there is like, I mean, if the beans are done, you've got to start eating the beans. So you could kind of set up a, it's kind of like an alarm. for yourself to eat beans. Like, the beans are done now, like, you have to eat them.

You're kind of making, you're forcing your own hand. Oh, solved. Eat the beans right before you go to bed. So that way, they've, let's call it what it is, brood overnight, then you wake up, you're farting throughout the day. How long do you think this reaction? You understand this is like a chemical reaction that pretty much works within. Then wake up in the middle of the night.

Whatever time, you're gonna have to do for scientific. You're a mammal. Like, you can't time your body like that. You can't game the system. You're not fucking four hours. They have enough beans that they can run some tests. They can work out the timing perfectly and then just have the circumstances happen throughout the day. Yeah.

There's just, I'm saying there's like a rate at which you could eat the beans that is not by the spoonful that it is a bean every minute. And then you double it every day. And you're just slowly farting a little bit throughout the day. No, dude, there's got to be a amount at which the body's fart sensors aren't triggered. Oh, they don't catch a lot. I'm saying you don't chew it, right? You just swallow, like a pill. You swallow a bean every minute or whatever.

You don't chew it, and you're just passing. They can't make you fart if you're passing them whole. It is so important that if you do this, no one ever sees you doing it because you'll never be able to explain it. Or they think you're on an extremely demanding. medicine regimen, you know what I mean? And they feel super mad for you. Like, wow, Justin takes a lot of pills. Throughout the day, I see him popping beans.

Why does he look inflated like the bad guy and live and let die? Justin floating away like a big balloon right now. Wait, what do you mean I'm sitting on him now? That's crazy. He's a beanbag. He's extremely comfortable. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it.

I hope so, too. Really, though. Like, really. Yeah, man. You liked it because I like recording it. Hey, we got merch in the merch store. Can I tell all the people all about it? Yeah.

You better do that. If you're as stoked about our year name as we are, and I truly am, guys, I feel like I'm using it a lot. Because I'm the type of guy who wants to stop doing stuff a lot. Oh, yeah. I'm having a little guy in my brain who's like, make it stick. That's really good stuff. Anyway, we got a sticker for that. If you need reminding from designed by Lucas Hespen Hyde.

And we also, if you didn't watch, analysis past year. We did it back in Huntington at the Keith Dahlby Live. It was so much fun and you can watch the whole thing on demand. Let's pay what you want. And our merch store is macroynmerch.com. 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota. So check that stuff out. We got streaming stuff coming up at the Macroy family YouTube channel. That's true. Tomorrow the 24th on Tuesday is another clubhouse join us there on Macroy Family at noon, Eastern time.

Talk to the limps. What? What? We're talking about the limps. Yeah, the Olympus. Yeah, we are going to be doing sort of Olympic jokes. And then every other Tuesday,

so the last Tuesday of every month is going to be a Macroy Family Clubhouse. Every other Tuesday at noon is Super Macroy Brothers playing our little video games, our little digital games. Come check those out over at the Macroy Family YouTube channel and all our solo streams.

Yep. We're streaming on almost every day, every day over there. Oh, also I have a book coming out March 10th. It's a choose your own adventure book from the Choose Your Own Adventure Company. I'm very, very excited. It's called The Stoweway. You go to bit.ly slash Griffin Stoweaway, and you can pre-order that now.

And it's $10, and it would mean a lot to me personally. Thank you so much. Did we thank, Montaigne? Thank you, Montane, for the use for a theme song, My Life is better with you. It's a slapper, it's a flapper, it's a flapper. Griffin, you have to decide. I haven't let's pretzel rod.

I haven't gotten to throw in a couple episodes. Yeah, I think it is Travis's turn, and I know that I don't want to contribute to food waste. I keep the pretzel rods like here all the time. Yeah, so Travis is going to throw his stuff to Miggie. Now, Travis always makes me nervous because he has a lot of what looks like pretty breakable shit in his background. I'm always where he's going to hit up for the mic, maybe that's best practice. Let's see. That's a good sound, though.

Square fucking hit, dude. That sounded really good. I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother, my brother, me. kiss your dad. square on the lips.

Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.