My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 805: The Most Forbidden Fritos

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

We’re doing our best to not fully derail the episode and make it entirely about Cheezy G’s. So instead we’re juggling advice about strange folk songs, super-powered Janitor Eyes, and people who live at the DMV, like the Tom Hanks movie. Suggested talking points: Toss My Dead Body Down the Adirondacks, Damn These Computer Movies, This is Lunch, Hit Single: Stop’s Coming Up Derek, The World’s Worst Gusher, You Hear That, Cheesy Jesus? Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something's rapping into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello everybody, and welcome. to my brother, my brother, and me.

It's an advice show for the modern era. We're so happy to have you here. What's up? Yeah. I'm the oldest brother around here, Justin McRoy. Sorry, the rhythm got thrown off a little bit. Sorry, what's up, Trave Nation? It's me here, my oldest brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolf Wolf, Whroom, Vroom, the heater, McElroy.

And I'm Griffin. Guys, I will admit to having taken my eye off the ball a bit for the book, for the Stoweway. I'm out now at Fine Book Retailers. I took my eye off the ball. And so I can't help but blame myself for Tim Chalemay's entirely unnecessary, just absolute brand tanking. I know he kind of like relies on me a little bit for like advice on like how to do the good job with your brand and stuff. And I wasn't there for him.

I guess when you need me most. And so he has stepped in major doo-doo. And I just, I apologize. I apologize for the sullying of Wonka. And he tried to drag McConaughey down with it too. He tried to, did you see McConaug, that clip, Tim Shalameh's like, at least I'm not doing anything fucking boring and stupid like ballet or opera. And you see, you don't see Matt McConaughey as he like, for that frame, he's just like a log in the background.

And then a log with a mask on. And then once that moment's passed, he's back. He's not trying to. catch that shit. No, for a man who embodies the spirit of, all right, he's like, no. I can't. Now, that would have ruled. This would have been a great

educational moment. If he had said, nah, no, Bronco, that was almost a good Matt McConaughey, and I gave myself. He was like, you heard how good it was. Yeah, I heard how good it was. Honestly, freaked me out where he's like, nah, Bronco. Listen, these are beautiful art forms and you need to

apologize. If he had said, like, you're right, Matt McConaughey, that was hugely unnecessary. What was I saying? These are classical art forms that are still highly sought after artistic endeavors. And I do apologize. All of a sudden, everybody's wild about his fucking ping pong movie again. But nope, we'd had no teaching moment. He also made it sound like if his acting career were to go south and fail,

he would accidentally end up doing ballet or opera. Dude, yeah, it's all three of our backup plan, right? Guys, if this podcast thing ever goes under, I can either sing high loud for long times or spin on my tippy, tippy, tippy toes. One of those will be my other job for sure. Astronaut, ballet, or sing. Those are the three. It probably won't come as a surprise to you guys. Sometimes the nuance of some of these situations escapes me on the social end of it. And I'd like to clarify something. This is for my own safety. Are we mad at Timothy for saying that opera and ballet are boring?

Or are we mad at Timothy for thinking that opera and ballet are boring? Tim is obviously allowed to think whatever he wants. And ultimately, I think that's okay. That's okay. You can't juice. And we'll say this. You can't get in trouble for not enjoying opera or ballet. Everybody's allowed to not enjoy this.

I promise you do. You promise. I promise you do. Here's my thing, guys. I love one of those, and I fucking hate the other one. But I'll never say which one, because I'm not a fucking joker like Tim Shalamette. I wasn't there for him when he needed me to say, no, cousin, don't. Unprompted, too.

Unprompted. Hand stress. It's not like the interviewer was like, hey, do you think opera and ballet are boring? Yes or no. Yeah, no, because he wouldn't set him up like that. If you're going to go after an art form, you've got to start smaller with, like, Jugglers. You guys see how much we do jugglers shit?

Yeah. Are you circling back around for jugglers? I'm just saying... We had a pretty fucking good grift going there for a while where the three of us determined, apropos of nothing. Actually, juggling's kind of played. And we didn't get anything because we slow rolled into it. We didn't just say, like, no one's allowed to juggle anymore.

Like, that would have set off alarm bells. Okay, okay, okay. I have a legitimate question, and it is completely separate. from the Timothy Shell made conversation. So if you try to draw parallels, I don't even want to hear about it. Can you change your lighting in your room to, like, designate that this is, like,

happening in a different sort of. Oh, did you? Oh, bummer. We're stuck here for a little bit in this dramatic look. Yeah, I didn't eat in there. Yeah, I've, right? Metaphorical? Huh.

Sheesh, both, dude. Do you know how vaudeville used to be, like, huge? And actually, the way that we say someone, do you think that that started with, like, one person was like in the middle of a vavel show and maybe they had like heard about movies or they saw a movie yesterday

and they like middle of vavel stood up and were like guys this is cooked I'm done with this this is show played this is cooked or do you think it was the person doing it looked out of the audience and everyone the audience is like

this sucks The person on stage is like, guys, I have an announcement to make. You may be thinking by yourself that this is boring, but everybody else is, and I'm going to stop doing it. This is the end of, no one wants our dance sketches or magic anymore. It's time for the incredibly appropriate giant hook to pull me off the stage one last time. Tossed my dead body down the Adirondacks. I know what you are saying. Certainly there's some things to preserve, but I'm here to tell you, there's so much racism in Vaughville.

We could never save it. Unreemable. We're going to turn all these old theaters into movie theaters now. Bye. Yeah. We're just the whole, we're done. We're done with it. The people that are best at it.

Yeah. One, you can be in movies. Two, never talk about the racism thing ever again. Please, movies are completely different. Ignore the jazz. It's so different, you guys. It's never any racism in movies. Never in a racism.

It's not like it involved. Please, you guys can't keep doing this. That's completely separate from a conversation about opera and ballet, which are foundational art forms that have gone on to inspire many other art forms. And if you're just saying I'm trying to draw a parallel, you're wrong. Hey, listen, I'm going to do this as a public service for other actors and stuff who find themselves in this position. where they need a poll of like, I don't want to end up being,

I think you can safely reference the Blue Man Group. Like, I don't, I would hate from my, what? They're cool as hell, man. I'm not gonna catch the, they're cool, they bang, yeah. I don't want to like,

they already did them in an arrested development, too, Travis, so the grounds. I think Travis was just soft launching his, like, now it's time to razz the Blue Man Group. And I don't think that's, one, I don't think that's the organic next step from jugglers.

I think we would need to move on to. People are still juggling. They did not. get the message. That's true. Maybe more than ever. Yeah. Not as many, though. That has to be true. No, it's fewer people juggling more. Yeah, sure. More pins

and balls and stuff. The biggest night, man, the scariest thing with juggling is the number of balls. So maybe they got to like 12 or 13 and somebody was like, that's it. That's the peak. We can't do any more than this. That's the limit of, like, like juggling technology.

I think it's nine? What's the record number of little hacky sack level balls? Don't look it up, Travis. Don't you're not looking at up. Like number of things juggled at once. That's the number, right? Number of things juggled at once.

Number of things juggled at once. All right, let's, don't Google it. Okay, well, I guess we'll all guess and then I'll Google the answer. This is our new segment, don't Google it. Okay. Okay, we're going to say it on three. No, no, no, the three, yeah, take a second.

Yeah. Okay, try to remember the question because what, I've been vamping. No balloons either. Balloons doesn't count because balloons you can like hit really hard and then they stay up for a longer time. So what is the question? While I was vamping, I forgot it. The largest number of uniform solid objects with normal wind resistance kept aloft by a juggler for, let's say, two full rotations of it. I think we could, like, because anybody can throw up.

I don't want to go up with a standard. I can throw 28 things in the air and then be like 28 in the air. I'm the world's greatest juggler. No, you need to get a few rounds through it. I like your count. Let's do the count. I'll all say a number.

Okay. Okay, so we're going to do one, two, three, go. Right? Okay. One, two, three, go. 14, 12, 12, and 26. I like my spot right in the middle. I'm feeling actually pretty good.

All right. All right, let's Google it. Number of, let's see. 33 consecutive catches But he's got So 11 balls He made the most catches With 11 and 13 balls

Um God I think 13 Shit guys it might be 13 How is someone not beat that? No my boy Alex Barron 14 beanbacks 14 catches What's up? I got it right on the fucking money

I know these guys I know what they're capable of And they do not scare me They don't scare me anymore Do you hear that jugglers? We know that. The whole thing. The whole fucking thing.

We know your whole fucking thing. We get it. You're not going to sneak back in and be like, what about the 14? No. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

I've seen you doing it. Uncle Voddville pulled up in the truck. Uncle Vodville pulled up in the truck. He said, get in juggling. We're going to heaven. I'm telling you, I look at what you guys did, and I was like, 14 is the max. And I can imagine it so you don't even need to bother doing it. He was tracking the pathways of everything.

And Griffin said, that's max capacity. That's max. You can't go anything more than that. Bang, bang, they're bump it into each other. Hey, but do hit me up. I don't know if my camera's out of focus. I got to, do hit me up if we ever get that number up to 15. Alex Barron, we're all rooting for you.

15, 15 balls, 15 jugs? Are you kidding? That would be sick, dude. You're making me wish I had 15 hands. Or wait, 30. One for each ball and jug. Well, I'm gonna... And then another 30 to clap for myself.

60 hands. My, the greatest fear I have with AI is that it becomes so impressive that someday my daughters are impressed by the side of a human being juggling. Yeah, yeah. That's the real terrifying scenario if it goes all the way back around where they're like, now that's something you don't see every day because they get so many incredible computer movies. Yeah. Damn it. Damn these computer movies. This is an advice show.

We help people. We say, hey. sometimes you drop the fucking ball I can't fix Tim's whole deal I live in a DMV I know what you're thinking Cool Yeah yeah cool

Like that Tom Hanks movie Or like the mixed up files and misses Baselie Frankomiler Except the set of a cool museum Way more low stakes Way more bureaucratic I think this is Is it the Dallas

Metro? No my boy It's DC Maryland and Virginia Okay I live in the DMV and frequently take the metro to grab I should have, if I had gotten a metro I would have known. Yeah, probably.

You know here in Ohio it's the BMW, the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, we get it, guys. You're weird. You're quirky. I live on the plumb other side of town. So my total trip is often over an hour. Sometimes I will watch someone who looks like they're going to slash from work just fall asleep.

My question is, should I wake them up? I would be mortified if I slept past my stop, so I want to help out. But I also know lots of people have ways to alert slash wake them at a specific stop. That's from dumbfounded in the DMV. I don't take the public transit living in Cincinnati and more than that working at home. But we do travel a lot for tours and stuff. And sometimes if it's a plane with a meal and my seatmate has fallen asleep, I do often think, like, do I need to wake them and let them know the meals there?

And then I remember that there is nothing more precious to me than sleeping when I am able to. Right. You don't want to be the thief of that. You also don't want to, to a stranger, go, hey, hey, time for numnums. Wakey, wiki, numnum time. Hey, little birdie. How the fuck would you decide when to do you? who wake this person.

That is the thing to me. How would you know there's... That's the X I can't solve for, right? Like, the instant they do is they may just be meditating, so you have to give them a full 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

So at that point, how you... Minimum. Minimum. It takes me 40 of us these days. Meditating. I think we could deductive reasoning a little bit, because it's not the next stop, right? They wouldn't have fallen asleep

if they're getting off at the next stop. What if they were asleep when you boarded the train? They've been on there for God knows how long. Then it's beyond somebody else. Somebody else responsible. Now it's a fucking collateral situation. Maybe they have passed away and they've been on the train for a long time and no one knows it. Then it doesn't matter.

Then it doesn't matter. They're going to miss their stop no matter what, Griffith. Yeah, I guess so. Or maybe they've reached their final stop. Their final destination. Heaven. You know at the end of every train loop when it gets the end and they just like do a U.E go back the other way.

If they're like, we're about to do the U-E, that would be a... I think that's a fair time to wait somebody else. Well, man, when you're on the train, when it flips shitties, you're not staying put in your seat. That is the centrifugal force of that act of a train doing a hairpin U-turn, that'll absolutely put you down on the floor. So that will solve the problem ultimately. Also, I assume organic material cannot survive whatever that process is, right?

How does that even happen? It goes in, it condenses down to a molecular level, goes through some kind of, like, tube, and then gets re-expanded back out. I can't explain it. No, man, they go on one of those turntables, like in Thomas and Friends. Oh, shit, really? Yeah, they're on the ones and twos? Yeah, they don't do that, although I bet they could. That theme song fucking slaps.

I feel like I've heard that theme song mashed up with, like, hip-hop tracks more than any other British kids television theme song. that put me on the subway sorry the metro flip me around on one of those turn tables real fast get me all dizzy and stuff

that sounds kick ass to me you could do a loud cough you could do a loud cough when the stops coming up just like a no man COVID kind of spoiled that whole idea now

because that sets in too much panic for everyone else in accidental wake up is the best I got I think that's not bad trap though Like, not a cough.

That's tough, but like... A wet-willy. A beatboxing. Drop a big textbook. Big fart. Big fart. Rip a huge... Yeah, dude.

No. That's not what I said at all. I said textbook. None of the sounds in the word I said. A big loud. Travis, it's like, it's like a confined space. Yeah. That's so best.

None of the words I said. Now, Juice, were you think Travis, Travis, were you more thinking... You have to say a living fart, dude. that sucks. Travis, were you more thinking it would be the sound of the fart

that would wake them up or just how grody it smelled? It's a one-two punch. I guess so. You're tackling many senses. All the way. Like smelling salts.

Can I hit you with this? Tap them on the shoulder. They wake up suddenly be like, hey, a pick pocket almost got you, but I got rid of them. I kept you safe and I protected you.

Or you can try to pick their pockets. One, they wake up. That's good for them. See, I had that thought. If you touch them at all to wake them at all to wake them up. If you touch me and rouse me awake on the subway,

my immediate thought is, you've got my stuff. Now you're not telling you to touch anybody on this show. No, no, no. We would never, ever say that for any reason. But this is why this idea in particular is a non-starter. But if you did do it, you could say, I'm not pickpocketing you, someone else tried to. Then they jumped out of the train moving at full speed.

But I say, anyway, is this you? Are you coming up? Is this your wallet? Oh, shoot. Okay. I've made less strange assumptions when, waking up from a nap to be honest. Like, oh, it seems that somebody has, yeah, okay, I know what happened here.

As you're walking out the door at your stop, you're just going to do a real, like, reach through the door, tap their shoulder, you're gone. No touching. Tap the window. There's other stuff you can tap. Oh, tab their window. You've drawn a little heart and some fog you've blown on the window and said. And you've written on tiny letters.

With your butt when you huge, a huge heart travice. That's not what I said, Griffin. Sorry, dude. I misunderstood. You've written in the heart. You missed your stop. Love Travis. Yeah, that works too, man.

We've got a lot of good ideas. You have to write it backwards, though, so they can read it. Can you play your out and your new mixtape? Pretty loud and say, hey, everyone, hit me up for my SoundCloud details. Here's my top single. Stop's coming up, Derek. It's a special song. I kind of will switch in the name, kind of like those people who sing

Happy Birthday on YouTube, but then they cover up their mouth in 80s. are in afterwards like Melissa. This is where in reverse a sign would help. If you're good, if you know like I got 45 minutes on the metro before my stop a little sign around your neck

that says a set of timer on my phone I know where my stop is. Yeah, don't bother me because I feel like if you're on the train with any regularity like you know the rhythms. It's in you. You know what I mean? Like you know you don't I don't shove my eyes when I'm waiting on a flight if I don't

I have an alarm set, right? Like, I'm, I got a plan. I'm an adult. I made it this far, this many years without you, nanny stayed in me, you know? Guess what happens if they do miss their stop? They get to go on a long, romantic nighttime train ride through the city looking out the window at the street lamps through the raindrops on the glass, just having a full my dinner with Andre kind of moment.

That's cool. That's huge. We don't get a lot of that stuff. seeing plastic bag fly around in the city, you'll only get that kind of shit living here, you guys. Justin, is that a trader's branded water bottle? Well, Trave, I don't like to brag, but yes, it is. That's sick as shit.

Yeah, dude, as a former employee of CSO, they tend to send me all the NBC Peacock-Bcock-branded... I don't get shit! You don't do? Peacock is technically the son of CSO. C-Sos' son, Peacock. So they do send me all of the great trader's stuff. Yeah.

No, I bought it. I got my whole... I bought it with a tank top for my wife. Six months ago, I started my job. I got a cool, this is us lunch box. It says, this is lunch on the side. No, this is the cape, the cape. This is the cape from the cape.

The cape the cape, the cape. Because you remember the cape? Six months ago, I started my job as a janitor at my local school. One of my janitorial duties is to look at things and see if they're dirty. And if things are dirty, I clean them. Aaron lies the problem. Is that one of your janitorial duties? or perhaps

it describes probably a lot of them probably. I've noticed that now I look at everything this way even when I'm not at work. How can I stop myself from looking at everything

with my janitor eyes and feeling they need to clean all the time? That's from Clean Keeper in Kenosha. Oh, you could do what I do, clean until people ask you to stop politely. That's a strategy that I use if things are irritating me in the day-to-day world

and I'll start straight a little bit And if people tell me to stop, then I do. And that's it. That's the end of the behavior. It's a pretty simple one to follow. Yeah. Just go and straight it up. Just go and straighten it up.

I mean, just. Yeah. And then it's straightened and you get a little break from it for a little while, don't you? It may be harder when it's your job and you're not doing it for the love of the game. Because that's me. That's, you know what I mean? I'm just doing it to keep my brain chugging. You ever thought about going pro?

Oh, Trav. That's the dream, isn't it? But I don't think I have the back for. it and honestly I've only got one good wrist now. And you need to watch a little movie called The Rookie, Justin, about an elderly man who I think is a teacher, but turns out he's good at pitching. That's the difference, though. I'm not good at pitching.

I wasn't when I was young and I'm not now. This would be about a baseball player who realized he was maybe good at teaching now that his wrist didn't work as good anymore. Oh, okay. Yeah, which is a different film. Good one. A good flick. There's got to be janitor's.

I mean, assuming you're not just talking about like at your house, like you're at the mall or whatever, go find a janitor and just janitor to janitor, be like, I was looking with my janitor eyes and they'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, I noticed some spots. I've highlighted them here on this map to let you know where they are so you can, you know, go take care of them, janitor to janitor. What if you straighten it up and you're like cleaning the spot and then out of the corner of your periphery,

another gender like, how dare you? This is my livelihood. This is how I put food on the, are you coming back tomorrow to clean up that apple? Because if not, you've done nothing systemic. It's a band-aid, you know? I have a cycle going. You've thrown off.

This is an ecosystem. It's all sustainable. If you pick that up now, what will the ants eat for lunch? I leave the food for the ants. I have a plan. The ants eat all the food and then the rats move the food to their house. I don't have to clean up the food because the rats and the ants eat it.

We have a bargain. The cats eat the rats and their big bushy tails sweep the floors. It's a whole fucking system. It's a whole thing. The dogs are chasing the cats. They have old sponges on their feet and they're cleaning the linoleum. It's a whole thing and you fucked it all up. Now what do the cows do?

I'm glad you asked. The cows chew up the weeds that grow in between the tiles inside the mall because I haven't done my job. And the geese are the nannies that keep this whole jolly circus are moving. I know you're part of it. You're a goose now, magic. I know that we have talked about the little lady who swallowed the fly a lot probably on this show. It remains a wild one to me. When I like read, we have a book version of it that Gus wants to read sometimes.

and like, I don't know, man. Why did you swallow, you swallowed a dog to get a cat? That's, first of all, kind of, that's kind of wild. Like, maybe, sure, maybe a particular type of, like, wild dog and, like, a kind of nasty cat. Like, maybe he'll go after it and eat it. But then a goat to get the dog is, like, so out of fucking pocket. What is a goat going? Are goats famously unchilled to dogs?

Are they predators in the wild? Especially once you swallowed all of them, they're going to team up in there. enemy and my enemy. You know what I mean? Like, everything after cats just bonkers. Cow for goat. Mooh, I'm gonna fucking kill you goat. They're friends, if anything.

They went to college together. What do you fucking about? And then a horse to get cow is like, actually those are out of order. Horse for goat, that I get. I would totally send a horse in after a goat. And then maybe a cow after a horse. But like, oh, cow's bigger than a horse. So what the fuck do you think, though?

The horse isn't going to do anything. But even if it was. Are you just talking about like, math? because I think a horse is more powerful and taller. I don't know. All I know is that this lady swallowed a horse and she died, of course, but she made it through a whole cow.

God damn, dude. It's sad and obviously, like, it's a... It's not sad, Griffin. Well, I mean... She was a monster who ate a lot of animals alive presumptuously. Yeah, and she had an icarus-style downfall for sure, but, like, props up. You got a lot of.

lot of barnyard animals in there before you croaked. And that's pretty impressive and cool. And I want to make space and celebrate that. I was looking it up because I was interested in the history. We don't know who wrote it. But this is, I really, this brought me a lot of joy. The earliest reference in the British newspaper archive to a song about a woman who swallowed a fly comes in an 1872 report in the era about a show called Britannia's picture gallery at the Polytechnic. A new comic extravaganza is here.

sung by Mr. Buckland being the story of a Mrs. somebody who might be anybody and whose doleful fate it was to swallow a fly. You won't believe what happens next. See, Tim,

this is what we're trying to tell you, Tim, is that there's always been a moment where this person's getting stoked out of their mind for the little old lady who swallowed the fly because it's new to them and they're like, the she swallowed a dog too this is fucking insane it's got in there right there's no way there's something else the daily news in 1896 recounts how a colonel chatterton quote convulsed the

assembled infants and most of the grownups with an inimitable song about a lady who swallowed a fly so funny was this song that the people could not they were almost killed they were on the floor laughing so hard at this incredible ballad. Old-timey newspaper language is so vaguely threatening. He convulsed the children. What is that mean? Sorry, our first evening, this is a quote from a performance of a show about the old lady who swallowed a fly. The hall was so packed that men were even perched on the window ledges.

No audience could possibly have been more enthusiastic or shown their appreciation in greater degree. I'm sorry to not have that first program. Third officer Phillips and several of the other officers sat in the front row of the restroom. Really the dressing room on concert nights. One of the officers recited, and I have never laughed so much as I did that night. As he told us about a woman who swallowed a fly and then swallowed a cat to eat that fly. No. Okay, dude, dude, I know you're excited.

Dude, you jumped like four animals there. I know you're stoked, but like get it right. Holy shit. There was a dog in there somewhere, perhaps. the dog was after the goat. I was laughing so hard. I can't remember it. I passed out. For three hours I laid on the floor of that feeder, unable to breathe. I begged him to stop. I racked my brain surely there cannot be a bigger animal than the cow.

I beg of you. Summon up no elephant. My blackout was so powerful. I was pronounced dead at the scene and buried alive till I wrung a bell and they dug me up and when I got up I said oh but what did she swallow next and I went back to the show only to pass out once more what they don't tell you

in that article and because history is a racist fact is that they also did it so they did have someone swallowing all that stuff on stuff and there was someone who did die on stage every single night usually way before horse most didn't get past cat

if I'm being 100% honest but that's what people were like into because of World War I had really kind of like made things like really kind of violent and scary then. In the 1872? Something like that. Just the fear of the upcoming World War, like they were planning. We've got a world war coming out. We're pretty freaked out.

They all knew how fast and loose Archduke Franz Ferdinand was living. And they all knew like it's a common. He's made a lot of enemies, guys. Everybody's mad at this guy. Let's take a break. Let's go the money. Okay. Cool.

That's me blasting off. And I'm blasting off to a future where my money is working for me rather than me working for my money. Can I come with you? Is there a room in your friendship? I'd love to come in your money. Yeah, yeah. Everybody can get on board. And while I'm in this rocket, I'm going to download an app called Rocket Money.

Oh, they're separate. These are separate ideas. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just in a rocket and I'm downloading because when I get me, back from space, I would like to fix my finances up. So I am downloading an app that is interestingly enough title Rocket Money. That's very smart, Justin, because relatively, like, you will be moving at a different speed

than the Earth. So you'll be gone for like a week, but like 60 years will pass, and your debt will have piled the fuck up. Rocket money can look at your transaction history. I think that's right. And you'll also be taller. Rocket money can look at your transaction history. And your weiner will be a little bit longer.

They hate when you put that in the ads. But a lot of bit wider. Sorry, guys, listen. They like that. Rocket money has nothing to do with your weiner getting longer. This is purely talking about being on a rocket that you spent money on. Which also doesn't have anything to do with Rocket Money. Not even related.

They can look at your transactions and say, hey, what about these subscriptions? Did you forget about these? This is something we can maybe help you out with? And they will because you'll want them to because they've said a lot of people a lot, a lot of money. We notice you've just purchased a 15th juggling ball. Are you out of your goddamn mind? No question. Are you aware of the risks?

Don't you, that was money down the fucking toilet hole, dude. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash my brother. That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother. You know, Justin, when you return from space and 60 years has passed and it's only been a week for you, everyone you know and love will have aged and so will your furniture.

The stuff in your house will have crumbled the dust and we'll all have cool future furniture now. You will need to update your whole setup. Yeah, Trab, that's true. Except you're wrong. Oh, because, sorry, because I bought all my stuff at Wayfar. So it's very good. And it didn't fall apart when I was in space.

Oh, wow. That was cool. That was awesome. Yeah, it was a good idea. In a reversal. Yeah, you really fucking flipped it on track, dude. That was actually really cool.

I was going to have you buy new stuff at Wayfar when you got back. No need. He's already there. Step ahead in the imagination. Fuck. Okay, cool, man. I'll be outside the rocket

dying in the vacuum of space, I guess. I think Wayfair probably would rather us tell a story about someone who fixed their problems by shopping at Wayfair and not just saying, like, I have already shopped at Wayfair, so I'm good.

They make great stuff. But I'm in a robot. I'm the role model in the end. I'm the example that you guys are looking at. Yeah, but they don't often, you don't see a lot of commercials where the spokesperson pops them and goes, hey, you need to check out Wayfair. And the guy's like, I already did.

And they're like, oh. Thank you so much. You know, some automobile commercials are like, don't even worry about this one. You already have one of the old automobiles and it's totally great. I was going to tell you about how you should get a new one, but it looks like this one's holding together pretty good. That's cool, man.

If you pull up to the car lot, they're like, you need a car? Well, um, how did you get here? Yeah. We're actually not going to let you buy a new car because that's irresponsible. That car is in good condition, man. You got another five years on that baby. No problem. I re-ded this whole office and found a lot of furniture on Wayfair that fit my exact specifications,

including this big, big-ass credenza behind me. I needed it to be right in three different dimensions and it was. And they got it here quick and it looks great. There's so much stuff in my room that's all Wayfair and I couldn't be happier with it. It is where I go when I need some specific furniture, because they're going to get you. I had an outdoor table I got from Wayfair. It's been sitting outside underneath the cover.

Just popped it off for the season. Beautiful. Beautiful condition. Ready to Rock. Fantastic. So find furniture, decor and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-R.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home, every time. I want. Yes. Oh, yes. I want a much Squat. I want to munch. Squire.

Welcome to Munch Quad's podcast. This is a podcast, Profiling, the latest of grace of brand eating fucking get comfy. Get comfortable, guys, because Taco Bell blacked out in the booth. I'm going to tell you about

the absolute wildest menu announcement in all of human history Oh my god, juice. I am going to try to not use the rest of this fucking show But if it gets to a point where you're like, Justin, you're using the rest of the show, you've got to stop me, okay? Okay, but if it's worth it, then I'm not going to stop it.

Guys, other people aren't doing this. The game is different for Taco Bell. They're on a different level. They're having, they announced 12. new menu items for 26 at Live Moss Live. Let me say first, 2027 Live Moss Live,

your boy hoops is right here. I don't know who's there. That's not me. They had a Bethesda-style E-3 announcement for new menu items. That did not get the invite. That I didn't get the invite.

So 2027, it's fine, but just like, please. If not me, who? Yeah. Are you guys ready? Yeah, dude. Don't look too closely. at the screen I'm about to show you

because this is more of a cover image and we are going to go item by item thank you so much to Snackalater for their diligent work in uploading all these these incredible images. I get all my images from Snackalater. All right.

Here we go. Oh my gosh. Wow. I mean it's just like the first thing is a salad. Not just any salad, but the Flamin hot mini taco salad. So guys, okay,

so what we're looking at here beautiful crispy tortilla flowers. Tiny tortilla flowers stuffed with what looks like

beans and lettuce and some sort of cheese. But then also I believe it's extremely spicy fritos.

It looks like the world's most forbidden fritos on this thing. It also looks like frankly a trap that you would

take a bite out of it and it's immediately all over it's also weirdly not mouth not mouth shaped at all.

It's rimmed. It's rimmed. Yeah. Yeah, with the flaming hot seasoning. Around the rim of it. Okay. It's rim. Okay.

Oh, yes, I see that now. We have Diablo-dusted chicken nuggets. Now, no prizes for this one. They're spicy chicken nuggets with the Diablo dust on them. Yeah. Mountain Dew Baja Midnight Zero Sugar. Now, this is just a sort of, thanks. From me to you.

I love the delicious flavor of Baja Blast. Love to see a new Zero Sugar Baja Blast. as somebody who's trying to cut down their sugar. I just want to say thanks. Not a joke here. Just awesome. Great flavor, but the vanilla Baja Midnight makes me go fucking crazy. It makes me go crazy.

It makes me go so fast. And so it's good to have a no sugar one. I say bring me a bitter mountain. All right. Nacho fries now permanent. Yeah, fucking right. Permit.

That doesn't mean anything anymore. No, no, no, no, no. They don't say a limited time only. Nacho fries are here to stay. To prove it, we got new Flaming Hot nacho fries. So they're just making everything sort of way, way, way hotter, it sounds like.

Not everything, but nacho fries are way, way, permanent. Yeah. And way, way hotter. Some things are just less sweet, Griffin. Yeah, I guess I guess that's true. Like Baha Midnight. Zero sugar. Next up, would you guys eat

these? Would you guys eat Flaming Hot? No. Nacho fries? Yeah, no way. Maybe if I was facing. execution and I wanted to go out sort of on my own I love nach fries so much and I would start eating them too fast before the spice really hit you know what I mean I wouldn't be able to recover from I I simply have a weak little mouth that would get burned by a little weak mouth

milk bar X Taco Bell birthday cake impanadas pretty good uh looked like they're pretty sweet there's like sprinkles on the outside and sprinkles on the inside and a lot a cream. There is no sprinkles. There's no way if I crunch into one of these impanayas. There's going to be sprinkles on the inside. This is fucking AI. This was, this was fun. I'm also just going to go ahead and tell you. Oh, sorry, Guffin. What did you see, bud? Cheesy G? I just saw Cheezzy G sliders. Guys, these look like little chalupa, double cheese wrap chalupas, but they're tiny. Oh, I want these little cheesy gourdinia crunch. Oh my God, I just got what cheesy cheese stands for. It's also what we call

Griffin off show. It stands for me, but it's all that these are little cheesy gordita crunch sliders that I can have 15 of. Dude, there's cheesy Gs and you can have 15 cheesy Gs. No problem. You can jubble 14 cheesy Gs. I was just traveling staying at a hotel, which is the only scenario where I could eat one of these because I would need my own kind of habitat for the time.

There's a comment on this where somebody commented starting to lose. the plot. What plot were you following at Togel Bell that made sense until now? Yeah. Never a cogent sort of. They put Dorito dust on shit. Like I guess it kind of makes sense now they're putting Frito dust on shit.

Yeah, I adore CGs. All I care about, GCGs. This is my favorite menu item that we have. Love their smooth jazz. I can't. I, Jesus. God, I'm so uncomfortable wanting this. Baja Midnight.

pie. What's the sugar situation on this? I could tell you right now that's some Wonderland ass looking shit right this. You're getting that in Wonderland. You're getting it in Neverland. That's not a real color. You got to believe in the pan to see this

guy for sure. It looks like the Cheshire Cat's face is going to appear on it. That's not real. These fucking guys. These fucking guys with this, look what they've done. You see it, right? They take a Mexican pizza and then they put another fucking one on top of it.

They double-deckered it. They double-deckered it with a canteen-a-chicken-mexican pizza with jalapaginia-citrous salsa. Yeah. Yeah, guys. I said it. Cantina-Chicin-Chicken Mexican pizza

with alpidio-citrous salsa. And it's got to sprinkle a drizzle of red cabbage, which fucking, I can't remember any fast-food establishment ever serving up in their menu to any capacity. Seeing red cabbage in this fast-food menu

is like, takes my breath away a little bit. The color palette is exquisite. I'm looking at the composition. Yeah, a lot of... Between the red cabbage and the Baja midnight, it's purple, purple. I would eat the hell out of this. Oh, man, am I hungry now? Get ready, let's see what's next.

I have no idea. Oh! Crembrulee-cotch-wrapped slider, interesting. I don't know if the image here is overexposed, but one of these sliders appears to be getting sucked up by some sort of brilliant white light. Like there's two beautiful caramelized beauties in the background and then one sort of desiccated husk of a crin bruley crinchristline

There were two brothers on an island, you see, Griffin. One of the brothers was good, but one of them was a crimbrillet crunch slider who also happened to be evil and control the smoke monster. I want you guys to know that restaurant businessonline.com said that the crembrillet crunch wrap slider was the best thing they've tasted all year. Now, that's pretty high praise.

It's a dessert crunch wrap with a vanilla filling and a caramelized cinnamon sugar crust. I can't even. Like, I can't. It seems like a lot. It seems like it would be the best. You're right, girl. Pair it with my cheesy G sliders.

Give me a cheesy G. A double-decker pizza pie. You know? I don't know. I think it's going to save you a lot of time on bathroom trips for the next three days, which is nice. Yeah.

Because you'll live there. Mexican pizza impanadas. Now that's a Mexican pizza that they put in an impanata, guys. That's pretty good. That's a pretty good idea. Honestly. Yeah, they can definitely call what they want it. That is that really, the way they have cross-sectioned this pizza impanata does give it huge pizza roll vibes.

Indeed. But I'm looking right here. Six pack for $6 in this economy? What a deal? I would never say that impanadas are a, are a fun play on. on a pizza roll, but when you do stuff them with pizza, it does begin to take on the loose shape of a tautino's pizza roll.

It is like, but it's also, like we, they invented the pizza. And then Taco Bell said, well, wait a second, we could do that. Like, we'll do that in our funky way. We'll do our funky fresh take on it. And now they've taken the pizza and they've put it back into,

the, the thing is, eating his own tail, you see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the pizza has gone all the way back out to the moon, like the Martian, right? Mexico went all the way out there and it's like, I'll come back. Now I'm back as an impanata. What have we learned?

How have you changed in this journey? Because you're back where you started. If anything, it's changed us. You know what I mean? It's true. Hey, one of these, your first bite into it is going to turn it inside of your mouth like one of the bad guys from Indiana

Jones when they open up the Ark of the Covenant. These will absolutely. fucking blister your whole situation in there. Somehow, this has burned in on my monitor. No matter how quickly you eat them, the last one will be freezing cold. There's no consistency of heat throughout your eating journey. Oh my God, look at these little guys. Strawberry and Cream Mexican Pizza Barrett.

Yeah, like I expand the side. This is a taller one. They're going for some dessert. Yeah, strawberries and cream Mexican Pizza Bike. They're like tripling down on Taco Bell dessert options. Yeah, in a way that's boggling my mind. They're also just playing with form. It's like this time we're all about littles and we're all about stackums.

We've got littles and stackums. What's pizza doing in there? The word pizza. What is it doing in there for us? Strawberries? Sure. Cream, see it. Bight.

Is that what it's saying? It's round? Because they have other round things. They could have just called it strawberry and cream bite because that's what it is. Round with on top is kind of what they mean. Yeah. Wait. This didn't it?

Artis is? Hold on. No, no, no, no, Traff. Dude, they fucking. Look at it. Look at it.

And think for a second. Think for a second about what looks weird. Think for a second about what you're seeing. What is it, hold on. Your brain, for a second, Travis,

your brain isn't going to let you see it. And then you will be able to understand what you're looking. It's a razzle dazzle, like you aren't able to hone in on what is happening in this image that is so sinister. No, this is an optical illusion. No, Travis,

it's exactly what it looks like. The fire case. sauce packet is an edible sauce packet. Yeah. Fuck, dude. You goosh that open. Do you see what I'm saying, guys? Yeah, dude.

This is, this is so wild, dude. They haven't lost the plot. They're writing fucking Ulysses. They're gone. They didn't start to think about if they should, you know? They didn't. Do these come. Do these come in a little, like, special,

red box that says like, this has super duper hot. This is not a pop-it-in-your-mouth situation, you lunatic, you need to split the seams of this thing and apply it to other foods. It is not a gusher. It is the world's worst gusher. They give it to you on a big cardboard disc.

It's the new Taco Bell Mexican cardboard pizza. It's perfect for serving. It's like a fried, it looks like a, it looks like a small square impanata full of fire Keso sauce. It looks like a nightmare where you bite into a hash brown and it bleeds. No, it's happening again. It looks like if I retired and I was 80 and I lived in a cabin in the woods,

this is from Munch Squad, this is the image that you would need to bring to the woods to get me to come out. Like, I've seen everything. Yeah, one last thing. Okay. Let's see. Let's, yeah, Koso Krat Kato Kastok canina bowl. Koso Ketka Teno Bowl. Koso Ketitino Bowl.

It's my favorite B-52 song. Koso, crack, Carnita, it's hard. Come on, you got it. It's not a Carnita's bowl. Koso, cracked. Karnita Bowl. Kahnitabal.

Cool Ranch Doritos and Flaming Hot Chicken Nuggets. Yeah, I'll eat 20. Sure. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I guess so like 30s you make me. Cool Ranch, sorry, okay, hold on. I thought they were selling Cool Ranch Doritos with Flaming Hot Chicken Nuggets, but these are saying there's Cool Ranch Doritos chicken nuggets.

Okay, I got confused by the... No, no, no. It's just like you... No, it's like you wrote in your dream journal. It's Core-Ach chicken nuggets. This image has also just reminded me that this was done in front of a live audience where a human being that worked for Taco Bell had to get up at a podium and announce these things with some build-up to it.

Yeah. To the audience, which I hope would react appropriately. Oh, you know they were losing their fucking minds, dude. Are they putting that dust back up on the hard shells, though? That's genuinely all I care about. Yeah, that's a really good question, actually. I don't know if it's got, if it's just seasoning or if they got some, like, I think there is, the breading has some, like, corn, like, tortilla, like, ground up chips.

I don't know. Firecracker burritos a red flour tortilla shell, filled with seasoned rice, a nacho cheese sauce, seasoned beef, fiesta tortilla strips, creamy Chipotle sauce. This is where I'm always with them, and then they got to lose me a little bit with reduced fat, sour cream. And then a spray. A sprinkling of cayenne poppin crystals for a flavor and texture experience that is, quote, sure to surprise. Yes.

Which is a stink. Yeah. Popin crisp. It's pop rocks. Pop rocks. Pan pop rocks. That's what they're doing over there. These scientists at Taco Bell.

Yeah. I've always had the thought when I did pop rocks of like, I wish this had an even worse kind of like impact. I wish this hurt. Yeah, I want to pay for this more. Yeah. See if we got any more. Salt and straw taco latte chiller? I can't believe I got that through that on my first try.

Griffin, I was sitting here wondering if you were going to get it, but you did. Salt and straw. It does look like it says taco late. I think it's taco lit. Because Taco Latte would have two teas. Oh, that's right. Okay, all the flavor fans love from the original Taco Latte. Taco Lette.

I don't know, Traff. I think it's Taco Lute. Like you would say, Tacoet. It's, okay, Tacoet. An overnight sensation

when it debuted in 2025 are now blended and served as a sippable chiller. So it's a tacoet chiller. It's the perfect

evolution of Sultan Strauss take on the nostalgic ice cream taco. Whatever, dude. Every other, every fucking

every fast food place is like and come to us for your morning, Joe, that's not what I use you for. We got strawberry horchata refreshca. Sure.

Let's get faded. Cold brew with purple horchata, cold foam. Purple, purple, So that is the absolutely stunning, earth-shaking press release from Taco Bell. Like the whole world is different.

Now, will any of these actually come out and be available here in Huntington? I don't know. Man, oh, God, if they only do like one store. Well, this is the thing, because the pie has put such a bad taste in my mouth, not that the pie itself would because I can't get one. You know? Yeah, the experience. I don't want them to be, if this is all for the vine, leave me out.

I'm a real fan. I want to consume all the products. Let me buy them, coward. I'll never eat a Taco Bell again if they do not. The next time I ate a Taco Bell will be when I can order a cheesy G's slide. Oh, cheesy Gs is free, dude. If they don't bring cheesy cheese out to the store, that will be my next Taco Bell meal. So it's the balls in your fucking court Taco Bell.

If you want me there, you're going to actually need to put those cheesy Gs back on the menu, please. Yeah, and Griffin, I'm going to say this right now if they ever take cheesy cheese cheese off the menu. I'm going to divorce my wife. Whoa. That's out. No, you don't. No, no, no, no. No, you heard me.

It's just that you said that about nacho fries, and now that nacho fries are permanent, it feels like you're moving the goal. But you hated that wife. Like, how sad would you guys have been if I hadn't dumped her? That's true. Yeah, but we love Sydney, like, a lot. And so I think just like, I think you let it right. You better buy fucking as many cheesy Jesus you can.

You better make you. You hear that cheesy Jesus? Ha ha! Come on, cheesy. Jesus, you can get these back on the menu. Save Justin's marriage. Save Justin's marriage, Cheesy Jesus, with your wonderful little tacos. Thank you so much for listening to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era.

We hope you enjoyed yourself. Hope you learned something. Hope you grew. And I hope you're going to buy enough cheesy Jesus to keep me married because the stakes are real. Yeah, real high. Now, we haven't been paid for that, so it'll be on eating. one of you that for every cheesy G you buy you mail us a dollar bill in the mail right yeah that's a weird that's a weird ask that's how we're doing that that is how we're

gonna be doing the next max drive yeah um hey we got some new merch in the merch store we got make it stick enamel pins uh and a bunch of other really cool stuff over there 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to border angels whose services include educational programs water drops in the desert day laborer outreach familious reunite us immigration bond fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to help migrants and asylum seekers in need. All that over at Macquariemerch.com. Thank you to Montaigne also for these for our theme song. My life is better with you.

Just my favorite track. My favorite track to move around my day to. Don't forget check us out on YouTube. Just search Macroy family. You'll find it there. We've got all kinds of different videos there as well as our live streams that we do each week. We do one altogether called Super Macrooy. Brothers on Tuesdays.

And the last Tuesday of each month is a Macro Family Clubhouse. And I believe Justin streams on Mondays playing some video games. I stream on Wednesdays. Oh yeah, I just started the Miss series. It was a lot of fun. You can go watch that on YouTube. Yeah, I'm doing Return of the Obriden

and Griffin's doing a trial by Fieri redux. It's not a redo. It's a new experience. Major's Mass Randomizer. It's crazy. It's on Fridays. It wouldn't be a sequel, Spinoff? Yeah, it's kind of a sequel to O'Coreen at time. Are you talking about Majors' mask or this new, anyway?

It couldn't matter less. If you follow Macquarie Entertainment System on Instagram, by the way, it will tell you when all of these things happen. Also, I just want to remind everybody to get their copy of Choose Your Own Adventure of the Stowe by Griffin McRoy. Buy it now and read it a bunch of times. Ten bucks. Henry finally started reading it, guys.

Yeah, we did it. Fantastic. He's very into it. He waited until I was out of town to start, but it's, finally, things are really happening for me. I did the throw last time. I don't really have anything right nearby that looks like a great option.

I actually have this screw. Screw's too little. I need to be able to see it. You want to throw the Traders bottle? Yeah. Ooh, that's a big one. Are you sure? No, actually, I'm not going to do it because there's a bunch of stuff.

There's a bunch of stuff. You don't have a great spot to throw a metal water bottle. I have a Bucky's hat that I can try to land on the microphone. Oh, that could be... Well, no, we need a pitch, Traven. That would be more of a Frisbee toss. Well, that's a... Is that a plaster of Frisch's Big Boy?

No, it's plastic Big Boy bank. He's... Yeah, okay. You're sure he won't expose... This bit, by the way, guys... This bit, look at the Big Boy. He's fine. Yeah, do it.

I'm just now realizing this bit is going to escalate over the following year. Didn't have to. Doesn't have to. Just throw the Big Boy. Throw the Big Boy. Throw the Big Boy. Throw a heater for the Big Boy. Fuck that.

Yeah, dude. That was an angry throw. You never see pictures do that shit. It left so much dust. Where'd that dust come from? Is that the chair from Big Boy? Oh my God. It's wood dust.

It's everywhere. What's wrong with me? Say your name. Say your name, please. Set us free. You can't. My name's Justin. My name's Justin McRoy.

I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. We're good. You're good, baby. We got it. And rap. Kiss your dad. I'm Justin McRoy.

Kiss your dad, scuron the lips. One more time. No, we got it. I refuse to do it again. Stop wasting my time. We definitely got it perfect. Maximum Fun. A Worker-Oled Network of Artist-owned shows.

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