My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 807: Riding in Floors with Boys

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

It feels like we were destined to tackle the topics at hand this week. Who else would be more equipped to name the ride-on floor cleaners,  reboot three different Phantom franchises, and use sports broadcasting to score some ice cream drumsticks, all while unveiling of the greatest advancement in high-tech, piss-proof cape technology. It’s like we’re outside on your next door balcony, projecting our podcast out into the world. Suggested talking points: The Chad Who Walks, Just Evita Things, There’s No Pizza in Grapes of Wrath, Check for Truckers, Fuck the McElroy Brothers What Were They Thinking Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something's rapping into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Trave Nation, it's me, my list brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolfo, Vroom, Frum, the Heater, award-winning McElroy. And you already know what it is, Trave Nation, it's me, your sweet baby, but the Griffin 30 under 30 Media Luminary? Award winner Macroy.

Saying award winner in there when I'm already kind of like saying another award I won, the 30 under 30 Media Award. Award? Yeah. Awards winner is maybe a cleaner way of doing that, McElroy. Welcome to our show. We hope you are having a great, great week.

Guys, what's been happening? Damn, man, I was about to say, I guess Mr. Bean's not out here making any new Netflix series to speak of whatsoever. I guess Timmy Chalemay hasn't said anything silly and injurious to his career lately. Oh, no, we didn't talk about Timmy Chimmy. We did.

We talked about Tim Chim for sure. We definitely had a whole, like, 10-minute intro about that. What about Timmy Chimmy? We did do a pretty extended Timmy Chimmy. A lot of the times we just barrel into these and it's like, oh, that's right. We don't leave anything for us. Don't leave anything on the bone. How last week, Justin took a bold stance and said the Easter candy was the best candy.

Uh-huh. Has the email been blowing up or people freaking out? Oh, yeah, all over the place. Just full agreement. Gun to your head right now, what is the login for our email address? I guarantee none of us know it. I know it, but I'm not going to say it out loud. Oh, okay.

Can you guys give a little space for me to make a bold statement? I guess so. I believe the time has come. It's been 30 years to try again at the Phantom. The Phantom super... I can't do, Travis. The Billy Zane... You have pounced on us in a moment of weakness to monopolize this show to talk about

Billy Zanes. In the year in 1989, Batman by Tim Burton came out. And all the studios said, we need to get on this right now. The first of the gate, Dick Tracy, 1990. Right. 1991, the Rocketeer. Yeah, so all that old shit. 1995, the shadow.

1996, the Phantom. Yeah. Before and after its time. Yeah. Yeah. Somehow. The Golden Age of Radio really had a, if memory serves, not great run at the cinema. Correct.

Most of those films you described, they did go way, way down. It was a bunch of guys who remembered it from when they were kids, green lighting it, thinking that today's kids are going to love it, but it's all busted. Is this one going to be our Batman, they said? And the answer was no. It was a sort of run of stories about wealthy men who punched other men, and that made them worthy of a,

worthy of like a cool superhero nickname. Yes. And America said, I don't get it. What's Billy Zane's powers even? Is he strong? He punches. No. He punches.

He punches. And this is something that people forget about an advantage that the phantom has over Batman. He does not have any superpowers. He's just a long line of crime fighting folks. No superpowers. What he does have, that Batman doesn't have two guns.

Yeah. And they're not magic guns. No. They're two normal guns. They're not even the same guns. It's two, just two guns. Two guns. Like, it's a revolver and a pistol.

And he just said, like, I guess I'm a superhero now. That's cool. And he runs around in a mask and he's like, hey. I don't see, and I don't see why this era of film and radio is behind us. Because that's still a message that's like, is a beautiful message. He also had a ring. Okay. With a skull imprint on it.

So it's romantic, too. There's a romance. When he punches someone with his skull ring, it leaves a sword. skull imprint on their face. Yeah. So he doesn't, so he, see, he's out there shooting and fucking out there mushroom stamping fellas and who are criminals. And then he's like, damn, I guess I'm the Phantom now.

Stop calling me my normal name, Billy. And here's the best part of this 30 year later reboot. Part of the Phantom, right, is that he can commune with like his past Phantom relatives. So in the Billy Zane one, like his dad, that goes to his dad. shows up you could have Billy Zane show up as the ghost of his dad play and the fandom in this one's gonna be played by Lucifer's Tom Ellis okay wow wow wow we flexible on that bold no we got any wiggle room we got any wiggle room there no any wiggle room Bill Hader's gonna play the villain Zander Cage I think is his

name are you Zander Cage I that's from triple X so I'm certain you're not you're you are correct it's something like that K is 100%. It's, what? It might be Xander Drax. So, Travis, are you in the scripting stage? Are you, do you have an outline? What do you want, what do you need from us?

Do you want our approval? Are you looking for money? Like, what's the... You want us to tell you to stop? I could do that, too. I could provide that. I guess I'm just looking for support and money. I do need, if you guys would invest, let's say 50 million each.

I think that would be enough to get us started. Um, hmm. Well, do you have any wiggle room on the lead? Because it's nobody I or anyone else. Or the money. Do you have either a little wiggle room on the lead or like a lot of wiggle room on the money? And Griffin, I don't want to get too far ahead of you here, Trave. What if the character?

Do you have any wiggle room on just a different sort of? And I guess sort of just to do like a big broad scope. Big broad scope here. Do you have any wiggle room on the idea? On the, your thing you just go ahead and lock the trilogy down? No, I'm saying like the whole idea of it. Oh, you're thinking a shadow phantom crossover. Yes.

Yeah, we could do that. I'm the schvado. You want to play the shadow? I'm the schvato and I have four rings and I have nine guns. I can tell when people are lying and when I punch them it leaves a little skull. I don't want to do the powers. I want classic phantom no abilities, a man with guns and a mask. And a dad that told him he had to fight crime.

Back a gym. a wolf, a horse. He had a nickname. The Phantom, the Phantom wants his nickname. No, the ghost who walks. Sure. Oh, that's cool. So on his birth certificate, it says the Phantom.

Yeah. The Phantom doesn't have an alternate name. Like, it's just, his dad said, we all fight crime, and you have to. My dad did, and his dad did, and we all have done it for 500 years. I don't know how we keep having kids finding the time for that, but we have to. are doing that. You are going to need to do that though, son. It's really important that you get up there. Have an offspring. You have a kid to fan them after you. It's a big part of it. It's like guaranteed you're going to be bad at being a father. Like guaranteed. As soon as you pop, as soon as you

create life, you then now grab that ring, grab those two guns. Your phantom now can't be there for baseball games. And a cool thing would be if you would be able to survive until your son reaches adulthood, but there's no guarantee on that one. Hasn't happened so far. You never met your grandpa, and that's pretty common. Or me. Hi, this is a diary entry. The reason you're so scared of me, a ghost right now, is because you don't have any awareness

of who I am. I'm your father. I'm, I helped make you. We barely have enough time to have a kid. We fan them for like 18 months. And we usually get killed. That's usually the way it shakes out. Sure.

We impregnate someone. We get to be the phantom for 18 to 24 months of solid crime fighting. Because you got to make sure, I don't think you can get out there and be the phantom unless you have a bun in someone's oven, right? Absolutely, it's in the contract, yeah. Yeah, you can't get out there and start dodging bullets unless there's someone ready or cooking. Yeah. To take it up.

Also guaranteed in the contract is that you do get at least 18 months of being alive. after that. The bad guys know to take it a little bit easy, and then like after a year and a half, you know, maybe all of a sudden they stop pulling their punches or they crash a big biplane into your biplane. Actually, we lose the most phantoms, Griffin, is that transitional phase into the lethality. Yeah, but you do get your 18 good months of being the phantom. If you're a criminal who goes up against the fandom, I bet the inconsistency of when the fandom appeared, because it's like, yeah, for 18 months, the phantom was everywhere. And then like 17 years passed, no phantom. No phantom. And then suddenly there's this phantom again. No way. If you're a bad guy, you can probably get a lot of leniency. Basically, any time you see the phantom, you can't congratulate him on their child.

Because they are under two years old or perhaps not even born yet. Like, hey, I congratulate. The fact that you are here now talking to me, punching me with your strong ring, means only one thing you have either conceived life or, or, or. are a new father and I'm proud of you. Congrats. Every phantom is fighting with the ferocity of a father to be because they've barely had time.

They are. They are. There's something to fight for. Do you think, though, when Phantom guys, I feel like Phantom is like two degrees off from just like the worst manosphere nonsense. Like, he does have a bloodline, right? Though my dad's genetic material is proven to be crimes.

He's the Chad who walks. Yeah. The diaper. Diper. Diper. Diper. diaper changes I don't really do that stuff

it's called punch maxing so I punch you but you take it with the ring so it's like there more forces in it and I leave an imprint with the skull and yeah those are perfect cheekbones yeah I tell you I do like the ring though I tell you I do like it from a toyetic standpoint

we're miss it we are the nerd ring market is quite stale we've all got our green ones. Our dad has bought us all the different Green Lantern ones. There are. That there is. Yeah. And Phantom in the reboot, it could be like maybe there's 12 different skull rings and they're made of different metals.

And they're a different ring with a costume in it. Got a few of those. This is an advice show. And a lot of people like to forget that when it's convenient for them. Yeah. But I'll never. I'll never forget. I am a fifth grade teacher at an elementary school.

Once a week, our custodians drive a floor cleaning zamboni. through the hallways. At the start of the school year, one of our custodians offered to let me drive it. I got very nervous and drove only about three feet forward before stopping abruptly and awkwardly mumbling thanks as I hopped off. For the last six months, I've watched with longing every week in which I could have the chance to redeem myself. I feel prepped to go farther and faster than before. Brothers, how do I get offered to turn to drive the hallway Zamboni again without seeming desperate? That's from Fast and Florius in Florida. I have to imagine this is a holdover from last year

when we were telling everybody to hit that 20 Thunder Drive. Yeah, but this is a really good opportunity, though, to make it stick. Because now you're going to take a second shot at this Zamboni driving. There's got to be a name for it. There's got to be a different name for the Floresamboni mopping machine. Ridable mop.

That sounds wrong. What about a Zumba? Like a Roomba that you zoom on. That's already. Yeah, that's right. Take it. Yeah, Zumba's already a thing against all odds, yeah. Maybe like a cool cowboy hat and like a leather jacket and you're leaning up against the lockers and say something like, let me take another shot of that Bronco.

Something that makes it like, yeah, you're a lot cooler now than you were before, right? I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't hand over the thing. keys if that's the energy you if that's the energy you if I'm the custodian and that's the energy you came at me with if I get this sense that you want it too bad I'm not going to hand over the keys to might because I'm responsible for anything that happens you might you know drive it uh into a classroom and eat up all the desks with it I get in trouble for that because it's my name on the side of the thing maybe bring in your own and try to drag race oh we couldn't even tell you what the name of the

thing was so how are you going to google it and buy one of your own It's not a Zoom, but how do you find it? Flea market? Cleaner cart. Cart? Cleaner cart? Hmm. That doesn't sound right.

Griffin, if you Google, I'm going to be so mad at you. I'm not going to Google it. I'm too busy coming up with jokes. I can't do those two things at the same time. It's like a lawnmower. Yeah. Writing floor cleaner? Writing floor.

Dirt mower. Riding floors. Rowing floors. Flow riders. Riding in floors with. boys. Writing in floors with boys. Yeah, I think it's probably what it's called. I don't, what it's called. I bet you're not the first person who has had this experience at this school. Yeah. And I bet you if you walk up to this custodian hat in hand, like, you're not even going to be

able to get two words out before the custodian will be like, I know. You felt you've got the itch now. You've got something to prove. Go for it. It's humiliating, Griffin. If this person had, I'm sure this person thought of just get over it and ask to do it again. I hope that crossed their mind. I'm saying they will be delighted to shepherd another young pupil who is a teacher, but like in the ways of writing the floor rider, uh, I bet they'll be stoked. They'll be like a little wink, like a little twinkle in his eye. Like, yeah, I remember that fear.

I felt it too. But now let's become bigger than it together. I think that you have to take into consideration the gift that you're giving. Because I think I'm not breaking any new ground here when I say that often custodians are overlooked, underappreciated. The idea that you got on to this floor scrubber, this riding on floors with boys, was that it?

Yep. Then couldn't handle the power. Must have been such a warm feeling of like, yeah, not everybody can handle this ride like I do. And then you're coming back and saying, like, I want another shot, please. Right? Yeah. It's got to feel good if you're the custodian.

It's got to feel good if you're the custodian. You're giving a great gift. I just feel like you've proven that you're a liability. Well, yeah. You've proven that you can't handle the power. I mean, we got kids in this hallway, and you made it 10 seconds in before you flipped. Like, you think right now that you can handle it. but I bet before you tried the first time,

there was no part of you that thought, what if I flake out after 10 seconds? That's true. I just don't know. I think maybe you owe it to yourself and to this person to try to get to know them as a person first. I think if the first conversation you've had with them is, again, they're going to see you as just a conduit.

They're using you for your machine. I think that you've got to start, building your confidence back up by just a daily exchange. Like, hey, I remember my humiliation. I promise I'm not normally like that. I can do better. But I'm not asking for another opportunity.

Like, just get a genome as a person. And maybe start living your life like someone who is ready for a zamboni right again until the custodian. Like, you just feel a tap on your shoulder. And you're like, oh, yeah? And they're just like, you're ready.

They saw when you were ready before. They're going to know the time is right again. But now you've been cruising the halls and power wheels and you've been scooting around. Maybe during the class field trip, you bring the custodian and you guys go to play bumper cars. And you see, like, little things. Little things that say, like, I can operate a small non-standard vehicle and be trusted. You made one out of a cardboard box and scoot it around the floor in school after hours. Start with a little box you scoot around with and write trash Zamboni on it so that he knows.

kind of the illusion you're trying to get up cones and you're weaving between them and you bump them and you get really upset, but you go back and you try again. It's the persistence he's looking for. Here's that possibility. What if the next time you see them with the floor mop riding apprentice appliance,

the next time you see them rolling around. We just call it a Zumba? Like, until someone comes up with fewer syllable name for it. The next time you see them on the Zumba, dump a popcorn bucket on the ground. And then it's just like, well, this is humiliating. Please allow me. You know I know what I'm doing here.

Now the bet that I'm making here is that they don't remember how bad you did last time. What I'm hoping is they only remember that you have driven it before, right? So when you're like, please allow me, this is my mess. I couldn't ask you to clean this up. And then they'll like maybe let you take a shot at it without before they remember. how bad it went the last time. Can I season it? Can I season it a little bit?

The popcorn? It's very good. No, it's on the ground. The idea is very, very good. But if you just drop all the popcorn on the ground right there, the custodian's going to say, just pick it up with your hands and throw it in the garbage can. However, if you, please, let me season it.

If you walk by the custodian, if you walk by the custodian, and then as you walk by him, you look down at your bucket, you say, oh, man, it has a goddamn hole in it. I've left a trail of popcorn down the hallway. around the corner back into the cafeteria by Jeffrey. Forming a sort of, I guess you could call it a course. It does go all the way around the school.

When the janitor said, clean it up with your hands. Yeah. What am I, am I a student, am I an employee? What is his, what is his relationship to me that he looks at me, says, clean it up with your hands. Okay. If you judge, in your scenario,

you are like making eye contact with the custodian, Don't think your popcorn on the floor. No, you absolutely. The cloaking was implied. Of course you cloak it. Like, you don't like make a big scene, man. It's implied that you do it in a stylish fashion. Say the custodian says, yes, hop on, clean up your mess.

You clean up your mess. If you just dropped it on the floor, you have recreated the initial Zamboni scenario where they only wrote it for a few feet before they got scared. If you create an entire beautiful course. So what if you trip up in the, like, up in the, the butt, like throw the bucket forward. Is that maybe something? That's gonna be hard to do

without being clocked for embellishment. I feel like you understand you have a hole in your box. You're being intentionally obtuse right now. I feel like you understand the premise and you're just trying to shoot. Like it could be anything.

I was about to say you're trying to blow holes in it, but you're literally trying to poke holes in the bucket. Yeah. The hole in the popcorn bucket too, you can show them and be like, do you think this was like a penis joke thing? Like this is an end uptoge. And this bucket slits back into the general sort of stack of popcorn buckets.

I don't know how these things keep recirculating, guys. What a way to save a buck. That's crazy. My neighbor regularly comes out on his balcony and sings. He has a beautiful voice and I enjoy hearing it. Whenever I come outside to hear better, he stops, how do I tell my neighbor that I want to hear that thing? For reference, he sings R&B slash soul, and we are 25 feet apart.

Oh, boy. That's tough, isn't it? I feel like we're gonna. It's not for you. It's not for you. Then why on the balcony? Because it's for them. You know?

It's an Avita thing. It's an Avita thing. It's for that. Hello. Do you ever address? You got to address. Hello. Why have a balcony if you're not going to dress?

Justin. We all, hello! Anytime you're elevated above other people in a fashion they did not expect is incumbent on you to stand above them and say, Hello! Breathing subject! Yeah, you have to do that. It's rude. It's rude otherwise. I saw you up there.

You just glanced down at me. Well, you think I'm some sort of worm or bug? Just pretend to be a little king for a second. Pretend to be a little king for just a minute. It's good. Can you yell encore? You can't yell anything. Encore.

You can't let it. You have to. to hide. You can listen, crack a window, do something. But like, why do you need to be, why do you need to see it? Why do you need to be closer to it? What is it making it better about it to be closer? Are you thinking like it's good for him that you've come out and now you're like, now you have an audience. That's good? Because I don't think that's true. He doesn't for money. You know that, right? This is his job. He can't give it away to you for free. You understand. Like you have to pay for the show. The show,

No, stops because you came outside. You know, how do you know singing is his job and he makes money for it? No, what Justin's saying is when you hear your neighbor singing, go to their front door, slide like a $10 bill underneath. Then you can go out on the balcony and listen all you want to because you paid for the show. He's saying, okay, I might be, we need to dig in a little bit now because I've probably made an assumption here. For reference, he sings R&B slash soul. To me, if you have chosen a genre. then that to me communicates

that you're professional. I, as an amateur singer, will attempt all styles. And in my house, there are no limits. You know, I can sing whatever songs strike my fancy. I don't pick a genre and stick to it. Now, maybe this person just has a more specific music taste,

but to me, they're a professional vocal stylist. That's the impression that I get. I don't think that's an outrageous leap. I think that is sound logic, juice. It's a shame that we used fan of the opera for the trombone question recently because this would be another

if you were to slink out onto your balcony like it was a box seat in the opera in full phantom regalia and you were to shout something like sing for me my angel of music he would have no choice I think what's hard Travis is like we all would love a phantom wouldn't we

we'd all love a phantom to come swoop us up forward this episode The Phantom, any fandom, just everybody wants a fandom to root for them and say, your talent, I want to kill you because I love it so much. You know what I mean? Every once, I dream that eventually I'll do a podcast

about Dragon's so good that someone will come and say, I'm gonna, I want to hawk, give you prisoner. Is that what he wants to do? Okay, so hold on. I don't think the Phantom of the Opera wanted to kill the lady from Canada. I've seen Fam of the Opera, the musical, and the immersive version

masquerade. So be careful. So you're saying in Fano the opera singer down into the sewers and he's like, well, time to drown you now. Christine. I guess it's time for drowning.

No. She just like, I'm sort of simplifying the plot for you a little bit. It's more complex. He definitely wants to kill Raoul. That's for sure. Yeah. He's willing, like, I don't think he's being extremely cautious regarding Christine

safety. Right. Okay. That's fair. Because he doesn't have a Kroger, a Tesco down there in the sewer. So he's not even thinking. He's like, you're going to come stay with me, Angel of Music, and I guess God will provide our groceries. Yeah. He does have to send the Angel of Music out. Yeah. She gets appendicitis. Yeah. She gets appendicitis act too. And then it's like, fuck, man. Now it needs an Angel of Medicine and has to go capture one of those. Or barring that, an. angel. Hey, Christine,

could you become an angel of DoorDash because Cash is running a little light down here and I would love one

of us to take him a job. And if you want to make this work, and I know you don't, but if you do

want to make this work, you've got to start bringing in an income because I can't. The music's not taking

off yet. You know that. It's not. You know that. You got to get a job. The sandwich from the Jimmy Johns is here

on your front port. Do you guys think they'd hired that felt really good coming out of me do you think they would hire me for like a whole run yeah just like like only if you introduce yourself that way hi i'm good macroy and phantom stuff feels really good coming out of me i believe it'll feel good to ingest and also to expel from myself uh-huh billy zane stuff musical stuff whatever you need i'll get the phantom out listen if we're gonna pay for this reboot of phantom of the paradise that i want a bank girl we got to

I had to take a trip to the money sound. How many phantoms are we doing? I just wanted to get that one in there because that's the only other one I know. Okay. Listen, y'all, listen, I love all of our sponsors, obviously, because they pay me

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flavored sprinkles. Vulgar, giving guests a fun new way to pop the question or celebrate life's sweetest moments or rescue themselves from some sort of insulin event that they're having that they need to reverse. I'll tell you right now,

if we could bottle the energy that would happen the moment you would kneel down in front of your partner, holding this pink box and open it up. And there's a donut hole inside. The toxicity of that single, that second, that moment. You have to hold up the box. box where it says Duncan on it. You have to make sure they read.

Like, look, read the letter. You see this right before I open it. You're looking at it. The same as me, right? Okay. Duncan and Vera Wang is inviting fans to say, Ido. To help inspire unforgettable Ido proposals, Duncan and iconic broidal desire Vera Wang. Any thoughts on Vera Wang?

I mean, you're a stylish guy. Yes, well, I know that she is currently serving as Duncan's chief. proposal officer. Okay. Huh. So you don't like keep up necessarily with kind of bridal. I also notice Duncan there didn't specify marriage proposal. Is Vera Wang making business proposals on Duncan's behalf?

Yeah, she's their business. She's their business guy now. It's crazy. I mean, probably pretty good at it. Yeah. I would assume. Do you? I want you all to see this.

This is wild. Griffin, please read so they know I'm not joking. From March 20 to 8. April 3, fans who incorporate the Duncan Ido ringbox into their proposal moment can enter the contest by posting their proposal video on TikTok, Instagram or TikTok, TikTok, or Instatac, tagging at Duncan and at Vera Wang gang and using the hashtag, hashtag Duncan Vera Wang contest. That's a lot of business to put on your proposal, man. That's a lot of business to put it.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. You win an incredible trip to Vera Wang's flagship salon in New York or Beverly Hills and Griffin. What is this last little perk? As a special finishing touch, Vera Wang will embroider the winners go-to-dunkin order inside the gown, ensuring they have something brewed for their big day. My go-to-dunk-dunctor is a door-dash order to a better place.

It's a begrudger. airport like 6 a.m. Only thing open. I need to eat something to sustain my human body. My go through Duncan order is I order you to throw me out of here so I am not forced to purchase. To continue the celebration, there is a something brood merch collection. It's a merch collection with exclusive Vera Wang X. Duncan pieces.

You know what? Let's take a trip. This is good because. Because not only is the proposal covered, but outfitting your bridal party is also Sordad. Oh, boy, is that ever sexy? It's a Dunkin' Rove. I do want this. Glass tumbler.

Oh, here's the collection. Oh, they've got monogrammed. Oh, boy. Two of their clear beige beverages, cheersing for their satin sleeves. I've got to navigate away from this page before I do some very, unfunny, unfunny ordering on here that will take me into some. Yeah, it's not, we've talked about this before. It's unethical for you to spend Justin's money count donut.

You are on his log in. It's really good though, guys. Look at something old, something new, something borrow, something brood. I feel like this is shit like this, it turns up at your manners on O Street. Like just the weirdest imaginable merch. Yes, this is a finera. This ephemera is going to end up on eBay and it is going to accrue one more dollar in value

over the next 50 years. Getting early. So that's very exciting for them, I hope. I hope they're pleased with what they've done. Have you ever been married, Count Dona? Oh, yeah, good question. Sorry, what? Have you ever been married?

Yes. If you ask me any other questions about it, you would have to go back and delete everything. Just leave it at yes and say thank you so much. Thank you so much, Count Donut. Thank you so much, Kahnit. It's been my pleasure, thank you.

I feel like when they do these contests and the way you enter the contest is just by tweeting like, sure do you love my Arbys, they still only get like 15 people that go in for it. Did anybody purchase this paid in the last, the one that we were trying

to get people to do last week? Did it? Is it a huck crust connoisseur? Huck crust connoisseur. Yeah, I meant to, but then I didn't. You want it. Oh, try it. Yeah.

That's a fun arc. I got fired. Oh. Yeah. This is also, like, I don't know why they're being extremely busy. Still in a Munch Squad, even in a Dunkin-related thing, I just got to like, they're becoming more of like a merch store than they are a donut place. And they're not even really a donut place by my reasoning. Like, it's a banana-themed package they're doing.

doing and they'll sell you a Duncan banana hammock. Like they'll sell you a Duncan banana costume. And an actual hammock. And an actual hammock. Like a banana hammock and a banana hammock. A copy of banana grams. Yeah. I copy of banana grams.

They're a lifestyle brand is what it is. It's more of a lifestyle brand. Yeah. They're in the fulfillment business. They are. Of everything. But you've got to act fast with these things because this, see this collection? Yeah.

It's already, it's like this is gone. Gone. It's over. They're already in Vera Wang now. You can't even get this banana shit. It's already headed to the landfill. How about another question? Yeah, I love this one. I work at my local radio station as the quote, news guy. There's currently a box of 24 ice cream drumsticks in my staff room freezer. I do not know to whom they belong and I really want one. Brothers, what can I say on the mic to get whoever owns these things to give me an ice cream treat? That's from missing my mint cheese. ship in Manitoba. Is it still sealed? Do you think we can assume it's still, if there's a box,

if you say there's a box of 24, yeah. Well, this is such an important distinction, Travis. Like, it's an incredibly important distinction. I have to imagine it's an individually wrapped scenario. I've never gotten a bell. Sure, sure, sure.

But is the box opened yet? This is what, it's 24 drumsticks. I feel like if it was opened, why do you list the number? because that information is no longer relevant. Right. If it's opened and there's 24 in there, there'll probably be 23, right?

If someone opened it and took one, broke the seal. 23, 18 is basically the same number as 23. So you could eat four to five of them and probably get by Scott free. If there's only a handful left. That's really, that really is very applicable to drumsticks. If you have a big box of drumsticks, and someone comes and eats, there's 24 in there,

someone comes to each five drumsticks. Like you sit there in a house, five of them. And someone's like, hey, do I need to order drumsticks from the next room? You're going to look in that box and be like, absolutely not. We got a fucking million drumsticks. We basically have infinite drumsticks still, man. You can eat three or four more drumsticks before you're even thinking about replenishment. As long as it's above half, you're, you are golden.

Especially if they're consistent flavors and it's not like a mix of like, there's some chocolate because if I get down to it I'm like where are all of the chocolate ones right like that's off-putting now I will say of all the disciplines of radio station sort of employees and hosts news is not the pillar I would want you to be in to say something on the microphone to get a ice cream treat later there is a certain seriousness to that job and there's obviously very serious things happening all the time and it would be tough to transition from literally any news story about anything that's happening in the world to, and in other news, Brian wants a creamy treat. If it was easy, they'd take it to a different show, you know?

Yeah. No, I guess that's, I guess I'm saying like, can you change jobs? Can you be in sports commentators can say whatever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want because they don't have to say that much stuff. It's like, oh, you've got her back in the blue line and it went in. like the rest of the time they can be like, did you see that a new Jurassic World movie? I have, I've got

some plot holes I found, like they can just say whatever you can just start rambling about it in air like two balls, one strike. You know, there's still that same box of drumsticks in the freezer and I would love to touch one, two balls, three strikes. Those are your drumsticks, Bill? Like, yeah. Are those here? And he's out and he's hit by the

pitch and he's bleeding. He's bleeding everywhere. And if you don't call in the next 20 minutes, I'm gonna eat one of those drums. They send an ambixtrous. They send an ambulance out. I think he's dying. He's been hit by bitch. Just like I'm dying for one of those delicious drumsticks.

This is the worst thing I've ever seen in 25 years of professional baseball broadcasts. The baseball hit him and his whole head came off. There wasn't chocolate at the bottom holding his brain in, that's for sure. There's one thing I could think of that would help me to erase this terrible memory from my head. Oh man. It's kids day, too, here at the ballpark. Oh, man. All these kids are watching it.

Bill, are those your dippy ballpark? bars or not Bill? If only someone would bring me a delicious ice cream treat I think it would be quite a bomb

for this troubled soul just watched a man bleed out at home plate Oh he's walking it off Fuck He's walking it off Now I'm never gonna get an ice cream treat God damn it

He's alive Oh no he's doing the thing Where he's walking off Everyone's applauding Big fucking deal Sorry for saying that on air They're asking me to leave Yeah I'm being fine

I'm just gonna take the box with me actually, fuck you guys. I don't need this job. I'm a newsman, okay? I don't even know why I got into sports. Just to get some ice cream treats? Fuck the Macaroid brothers. What are they thinking?

This banana ball shit has gone too far. His whole head came off. I thought he was dead. God damn this trickery. Your jokes, it's so funny. You could use the news to issue a product recall. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. There couldn't be any negative ramifications. No, it's fine. Like, listen, if you got this specific kind of drumstick, this is, hey, folks, check your cupboards. We just got this across the AP wire. If you have this specific mid-chip, you should call your office and say, throw it out. Just ask whoever's nearby.

You know what, I'm going to go check. That's how serious I'm taking this. This recall only applies to my current zip code. And also, it says here, if you're, it says here, it says here. if you're a radio man, you're immune to the diseases in the ice cream. So if you're a radio man, a radio newsman, it says you can eat the dipby bar.

You don't have to eat them on premises, Griffin. You could, first of all, this radio station, there's probably one person there. It's probably just the one person working. So just take them out to your car, leaves them in the cooler that you brought with you. The perfect crime. Perfect crime.

Yeah. Perfect crime. Maybe introduce the story like tragedy struck today when Newsman Bill got real. all hungry for the ice cream treat, but he was denied by morals, by common decency. Please call in and tell me I can have them, Steve, please. Steve. What'll be sick is when Brian comes to you, it's like, Steve,

I would like you to work on a story. I have recently had some jumpsticks go missing from the fridge, and I would like you to work on a story about that. And you can say, because you're the news guy, you can say, you know what, that's going to be my top priority and I'm going to start investigating it right now and I will not rest until we bust this thing wide open. Yeah.

First thing I'm going to do is trying to... Oh weird. I can't come up with any leads. Weird. First thing I'm going to do is I need to get in the head of someone who would commit a terrible crime like this by eating four or five more, I mean four or five new drumsticks that I haven't eaten before.

If you could bring in another box for me to look cat. That would be so helpful. If you bring in another box and leave it in the freezer. If you're the only one there, just trash the place on the way out. Grab the whole fucking box. Take it home. Have a big party. You know, next morning, you get a call like,

hey, the radio station is trashed and you say, yeah, it got airheads. No. Yeah, Adam Sandler showed up and Bram Prasier was there. And I think Steve Buschemy was. Yeah, man. He was. Weirdly. Yeah. Harry Shear. actual guns

and they took all the they took all the Dippy bars and they almost killed me wasn't Harry Sher no it was no Harry Shear was the pig

in Wayne's World 2 the radio god that may be what I was thinking anyway Michael McKean you're thinking of you're welcome you're free everyone's free

thank you who else wants to hear us listeners at home and here's a text here's a number that you can text or call, let us know what other obscure movies from the mid-1990s you would like us

to talk about next. Spin the wheel. I need some advice on how to get someone to let me ride in their motorcycle sidecar. It's one of my bucket list items that I want to ride in the sidecar of a motorcycle, I assumed. Not on the motorcycle itself, but in the side car. You made that abundantly clear.

Yeah. They don't have a motorcycle their own. They don't know anyone who rides one. They need to ingratiate them to a group of trustworthy bikers and convince me to take them on a joyride in the sidecar. I'd be willing to bring my own leather goggles and fluttery white scarf. Thanks for your help. Ready for the road in Northern Illinois. Let me help.

First, you got to stop saying stuff like the white scarf and the goggles. You know that's not right. You know, that's not it. That's a joke for us. We appreciate it. If you say stuff like that or show up in it, they're going to beat you up. Yeah. When you drive a car, do you like to have?

a piece of tattered cloth whipping you in the face over and over it. Because whatever you like in a car, they like it on a motorcycle, too, and they want to be safe out there, and they want to be smart out there. If you were going to provide anything yourself, I assume it would be the sidecar. Yes. Because if they have a sidecar already, it's for their whimsical dog companion who's already wearing fun goggles in a scarf.

Yeah. You don't have an empty, you don't have a sidecar with no one and nothing to put in it. Well, I'll say this. If I had a bike, I would probably be stoked every time I had the sidecar on there because it's like, now I don't have to balance

as good. It's like, now it's a tricycle. Oh yeah, because you got more wheels. They can say like, yeah, now it's a tricycle. So that's, I prefer that. It shouldn't be easy to take on and off the sidecar, right? I want it pretty firmly affixed on there. You gotta get it professionally done.

I would imagine, yeah, Traff. Because I don't want it to come losing. I have no steering capability. If I'm in the sidecar and we separate. in a whimsical fashion. I've lost all control of the situation. You go across the street sign. You split a pole, split a street sign, you go zooming off.

Now you're in car. Bad news. It's missing a lot of the key functionality that real cars have. I do want to take issue with one part of this question where you said, I want to ingratiate myself to a group of trustworthy bikers. You're pretty picky for somebody that doesn't know any bikers or anybody with a side car. I think that trustworthy bikers aren't just going to randomly throw strangers into their bikes and zip around town.

I think you should be pretty happy with whatever bikers you could kind of secure. You might even have a better chance at getting someone you know that makes poor decisions to get into motorcycle riding and buy their own side car. Yeah.

And let you... I tell you. This is going to sound like self-promotion. It's not. May I suggest stowing away? Because they're not going to check for that shit. That's true. They are not checking the sidecar for tuckers. Definitely not before they hit the road. There's probably so stoked to get out there.

They do not want to fall behind all their friends. They are not looking close in there. Gotta check for Tucker's. If you got a side car, check for Tucker's. That should be the first and last thing you do. Because you could get a Tucker jump in there after you check the first time. Yeah, that's one of the best strats for sure. You don't get to sit up and enjoy it.

Is the scarf part of it for you? You'll have to pay someone like a professional if the scarf and goggles is part of it for you. And don't get me wrong, it would be part of it for me. I understand the instinct. It's just going to get your ass beat up. Once they start going, you can untuck, right? Because by the time they slow down to get you out of there, you've had your ride of the sidecar.

Yeah. I don't know how they all stayed again. Oh, this is the answer the Zumba question. A sidecar on the Zamboni. Yep. Shit, that's good, Trave. I got to be honest with you. That would be so good.

Kids would love that too. What a great reward. We only have detention for kids. We got to figure out ways of rewarding them. Yeah. Well, book it. Do they still do book it? Only Pizza Hut does book it.

It's bullshit. Yeah, the school's outlawed it. Only books about pizza now. That sucks, man. There's so few good pizza-based books. That's unfortunate. Yeah, but I mean, if you look, it doesn't have to be...

Reading is essential. I mean, it doesn't have to be a stumbling block, only if you let it. There's just no pizza and grapes of wrath. There could be. No pizza and grapes. Okay. So we're talking about editing.

Grape tomatoes of wrath. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. My brother, my brother, and me, it's called. Crave New World. If we had known, how long we'd be doing it, we would have come up with a better name. I assure you. Trust me. Oh, yeah.

I promise. We did not have any intention of doing this for 16 odd years or else we would definitely would, definitely would have worked a little hard on that part. The dough also rises. The crust also rises? I said the dough. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear. Because before, once it's crossed, it's not rising anymore. Yeah, that's a good point.

The dough also rises is better, yeah. Hey, thank you to Montaigne for these for our theme song. My life is better with you. It's a great track that I always put on when I need just a boost. Oh, yeah? We got some new merch in the merch store, too. Can I interest you in a 20 Make It Stick enamel pen? show your

your intensity this season with an animal pen based on our classic annual joke of Make It Stick and 10% of all the merch proceeds this month

will be donated to Border Angels We got a newsletter too over at bit.ly slash MacRoy newsletter You can find out about any events we have coming up

follow our big projects and what have you and that would be cool or follow us on YouTube on the Macroy family. I can't wait until we get our I-Hard award so I can throw it at the end of the episode. Yeah, that'll be a good one.

I'll tell you, I'm running low on stuff I can chuck that's not going to be... I got a court ear by Marriott key card I found in my wallet. Oh, shit. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how much baseball action you could give to that, but if you can gambit that shit, yeah.

Can you gambit it and stick it into the insulation at the back of the room? I mean, who better than me to gambit it? I want you to knock some Take the headphones off Because I want you to like really be able to I want it clean I want it clean

And throw it into frame Don't throw it out of frame Yeah throw it out the camera Or the background Throw it in the mic or The background Throw it into the background The background

The background The background The background Back Turn turn your body Turn your body Yes Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah Hit fish Pretty good. That was cool. It made a cool... But it was Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad's square on the lips. Maximum Fun. A Worker Own Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.