My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 814: Pibbonade

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

It’s mermaid szn, and to celebrate we’re writing these big boy Legos off on our taxes. We’re also ruining sodas for fun, getting nostalgic for farts, and considering getting into bowling. You know, mermaid szn things.   Suggested talking points: We Love Defrauding Our Corrupt Government, Most Folks Know About Minas Tirith, Frodo Saggins I Think I Said, One Man Collective Bargaining, Put Me In The Tank Papa, Freestyle Data Surveillance   First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinmbmbam

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello, everybody. Welcome, my brother, my brother.

And make an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Well, hello there. Why not, Trave Nation? It's me, our middle-ist brother, Travis, Big Dog, Wolf, well, Vroom, Vroom, the heater, award-winning McElroy. Ahoy. This sailor.

Welcome to my brother, my brother, Griffin McElroy. Set sail for an ocean of laughs. Set sail. Made a huge mistake before we started recording today. And we started having a conversation without recording it. It was a conversation. we were engaged, yeah, we were talking and we were, it was like content just going down the drain.

Yeah. We sensed it. I mean, I think we all kind of panicked and sensed it. We're like, wait, we got to get the mics rolled on this guy. Because this is this is just our, people forget this, this is just our crazy mixed up. It's just like a hang with us,

FR, FR, guys. Fam, this is the show. This is just us. When you're here, don't, I hope you're not attached to that shit because we're going to be shooting it. Yeah, they're just chopping it up as three brothers. I can try and organically get us back into the combo if you guys... No, it's just adult Legos. That's the topic of

conversation, which is, I think it's fun. I think everybody recognizes that there are two classes of Legos. There's adult Legos and Legos for kids. Yeah. That's an understood thing. Sometimes they are for kids subjects, but the number of pieces and detail work required suggests an adult, an adult supervision. We're throwing the word adults around a lot. I've said before I got a real hang up whenever if somebody labels something adult something

because it makes it seem like it's Sexful legos. Do you give a kid a gun? I mean what are you talking about? There are things that are for children. No. What do you talk? No, but like Legos for adults has a different ring to me than adult Legos. Adult, what about this, Truss? Then let's unpack

that, Travis. What are you so uncomfortable with right now? Because I'm saying there are some Lego sets that a child isn't going to have the patience to endure because the reward that's way worse too you like goes after dark you heard how bad that is too yeah that's how i hear it in my head yeah but you're perverting it my purity shouldn't be a burden it should be a resource that's true i'm you know what i mean it shouldn't be i'm done hiding in the shadows my love of adults legos adult apostrophe s legos I'm

I think it's a great way when you're winding down from a day where the world and your children have conspired to strip all semblance of control away from you. Correct. To sit over a bunch of little plastic guys and snap them together in the way that the Lord ordained. And then together they make the great wave of Kanagawa. And then you can put that in the background of your shot and then you can write that Lego set off on your American taxes. I mean, that's good. We love that. That's good stuff, man.

We love defrauding our corrupt government. Oh, yeah. Just taking a little bit back. Here's the problem, Griffin. I also, I have several Lego sets around me, but I also have, well, no, I also have a metric ton of other shit in my office. This is why, can I tell you my secret? I got a high ceiling in my office and floating shelves so I can put more shit of,

just out of eyeline. So when you're looking around, you're like, this is the normal amount of shit in here. And then like you look up six inches and you're like, oh, there's a whole other layer of shit in here. Travis has actually some marking tape down like on his walls showing exactly where his camera is recording and just immediately beyond the perimeter of that tape.

It's fucking, it's old hero clicks. It's like 15 swords. The only stuff that goes behind. behind me in the shot is things about me. Right. Rocket Man. Right. The Rocketeer, excuse me, Rocketeer.

We already did our, we did our annual office. No, but that's it. Those are the three facets of my personality. I'm willing to plant. You're your own shit and Rocket Man. Yeah. Yeah. First, I would like to pitch Legos.

He is called the Rocketeer. So Rocket Man. I corrected it after a second. Rocket Man is your favorite Harlan Williams film. I would like to first suggest Legos for F-O-R adult. Like, to be clear that it's not the number four. Okay. Legos four.

That's cool, juice. I don't know that there were a lot of people out there thinking that we were talking about like cars four kids. Like four adults that we had made out of Legos. But it's the branding. Okay. Legos, F-O-R, not the number. Oh, we're not doing a Q-C...

Because like Legos for kids. Okay. This is Lego's F-O-R adults. That's cool. So it makes it clear that it is an adult product. Yeah, I want to make it. I want to make it clear that Lego in no way calls these adult Legos. Yeah.

Because like, I'm just trying to help them with the brand. Yeah. But like, kids, if you want to spend $650 on a, on a 8,000 piece set of Minas Tirith, they'll take your money. They will accept that. They will. They don't check IDs at the Lego store. No. Okay.

I am at the risk of going too deep into my psyche, here is the issue that I have with these Lego sets. I have put together two now. I put together an NES and that Game Boy. I very much enjoyed the process of doing them. So great. But this is the internal con. Juice, juice, juice, juice. When you've been hitting, when you've hit the pendulum a couple times and you're just

mellowing out. And it feels like we can like talk about stuff like this now because dad doesn't listen to the show anymore. But like when you have a little bit of a buzz on and then it's like connect this two by three to that flange, it's good, right? Having a scotch and putting together the Planet Express ship is the closest. I get. So when you see someone like doing a crossword in a wing back chair by a fire.

Grandpa whittling? No. Grandpa, a little high putting together. Can I just say two quick things? One, oh gosh, great idea, man. I've never thought of it. No, I'm not suggesting it. Oh, sorry.

I was commiserating like, it's good, right? Not like, you've got to try Legos high. I would never suggest that. You've never tried Legos on a week? Yeah, no. The other thing, a quick sidebar to that, what you just said on dad, what's in the show anymore? Yesterday we did Clubhouse at 3, or at 2.30, and Dad texted us, that was really fun, guys, halfway through the episode of Clubhouse. Yeah.

Like, not at the end of it. The introduction was very fun. Clearly saying, like, he was done, maybe. He was going to do something else. He found the secret setting on YouTube that makes it play so fast you can go forward. in time and see the stream when it's done before it's done. He basically sent us a, hey, great show halfway through the show. Yeah, yeah.

Because he had other things he needed to do. Will you guys tell me if it goes, if my, if my, like, stuff in the background kind of goes too far? Because I feel like I've been trying to be less. Wait, I need to come. You interrupted me halfway through my point. Sorry, I don't want to be like. I thought your point was over. No, because you started talking about weed.

And that was a sidebar. So don't interrupt. Sorry, dude. You must understand we were seven sidebars deep at that point. I simply lost the trail. Right. I understand the nature of the show, but I would like to complete my... Please, please. So I've constructed these two sets.

Here's the problem that I have is the... Once the set is done, it is immediately communicating things. I do not wish to communicate about myself. I enjoyed the time I spent with it, but I do not want to be reminded that I spent time assembling the Legos. Unpack that. When people come by and they notice or observe this set, which they don't, because I would hide them away. I don't let people would see them.

Yeah. They might think that I was proud of the fact that I was able to assemble this Lego set on my own. That is another, I feel like, I fear implication of having them on display, right? Like, yeah, yeah, I'm the bad boy you heard about. I had all the free time and I did it. And I don't, so like aesthetically,

I like these objects and I have them in my office, but I feel like having them in my home after I've completed the set, they are now communicating that I don't wish to possess them. Justin, let me fix that for you. Let Travis fix that for you. I'm going to fix that for you real quick, Justin.

Don't try to fix it by making me like you, though. You promise. No, I promise. Gallery style information placard next to it that lists number of pieces and time it took you to complete. As though, Justin, this wasn't just you putting together a Lego set. This is an art installation now.

Yes. hugely hours to complete is that is exactly the worst well you fudge it well you fucking fudge it dude you think they don't fudge that shit on those plaques or it's like you fudget it you just fucking fudget like 23 minutes to completion yeah 2026 the 17000 piece daily bugle model to scale I finished it in 11 minutes and 35 seconds no help for No help. No book. Fucking buy eye.

That should be the, that's, there should be another tier that they should call like a real adult Legos. Yeah. And they show up their big, fucking huge sets with no book, no separation in the bags. You get one big, loose box. No guarantee that it's even a set. It might be three or four different sets. They just dumped in a box together.

Well, I do want. Oh, then you have to make up stuff. That's not fun. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. I imagine. I, uh,

I, the worst thing you can do with a Lego set, and this is probably the scariest situation you end up in as a parent. Yeah. And I have, I've made this mistake a couple times now is you start a Lego kit with your child because you think it will be a fun bonding activity. And then halfway through, guaranteed, maybe earlier, they lose interest. And then you have a problem. You have a half-assembled Lego set. Sure. And you have many unappealing.

options at this point. You will not return to it. You can maybe, you know, you shove it off half finished. That's a huge mess. You finish it on your own. It's not what you signed up for. That's going to feel bad pretty soon. There's probably other stuff you've got to do. Henry really enjoys the Animal Crossing Lego sets that have come out. And I do as well. But he doesn't enjoy finishing them. And we have like a little table where we do a lot of our building of these littler sets. And it does look like the Animal Crossing Island has been savaged by a terrible maelstrom. It does look like Tom Nook's shop.

The roof is fucking gone. It's an infrastructure problem. Yeah, no, absolutely. It's an infrastructure problem that the island has been devastated and it's sad. Justin, when that happens to me, I like to have a little pretend sesh with myself where I'm an industrial revolution worker in a factory. And awe, the foreman, who's my

one of my children is going to really get mad at me if I don't finish this Model T like today or whatever, right? And I gotta put it together. So it's not fun anymore, but I get to pretend. Is that not the narrative you have going on? I just assume this was the narrative

all parents had sort of going on in their head whenever they were doing something like gluing a toy's arm back on a guy that you know they're probably not going to play with. I got to, I have to stand here and compress the arm. Now I'm doing medicine to this. this toy. I'm Doc McFucking Stuffins. I can't walk away from this patient. Now, they'll die on the table. And every so often you get to like do a gym to an imaginary camera like you're on the office

and you're like, hmm, work, huh? Yeah, that's what parents do. Well, you guys tell me if I have too much, like, you don't want us to be a change. No, this is what I'm saying. I think the three of us are the only ones capable of keeping each other honest about this stuff because we're all like way past, we're all way fucking past the edge, man. Like, we're way deep in. And if one of you, if you two come together and say, hey, Griffin, that ministeria set, it pushed it over the edge.

And now you're like, that's huge, that's huge. Do you feel like you can rep a ministeria set? This is what I'm, this is what, this is where I, I, I don't think that I could, an adult Lego is a tribute of your life minutes, right? You said, here, I sacrifice myself to you,

tiny plastic game boy. Thank you for your, thank you for your of my life. If someone looks at that and they say like, damn, you must love Game Boy. I'd be like, yeah, man. I love it. You know what I think? And I think it's probably the I'm just saying from Lord of the Rings. There's so much. Griffin knows what Minnithereff is off the top of his head. So yeah, I think he's allowed to. Most folks do, Travis. Most folks do. I would argue most folks know about Minnterians. And plus Griffin played Fredo Bagan's in the Lord of the Rings movies. So that's true. That's true. I actually played Frobosagans in the Lord of

the Wang's movie. So this was my brief stint as a core pornographic actor. It was nominated for a brassy for that, which is like a razzie for porn. Yeah, they call it a brassy, and I was Robo Sagans, I think, I said. Yeah, it was actually Brazzar's first brazi.

So Griffin brought home the brass. And it's you put in the ring, I guess, would go on his wiener. And Orlando Bloom was also in it. Orlando Bloom was in that so was Sir Christopher Lee. So he played Saradong. That's pretty good. We could do this all day.

Sorry dog. Yeah. Now let's come up with more. No style there. Okay, Gandilf. Yeah. Hey, I already did that one and a Taz live show. Tom Bombadil, there's got to be something there.

Aruporn is nothing. Maybe there's not as many of these. Hey, Araphorn and put a medal in yourself. But Tom Bompadil, Bough, Bill, Bill. Pompadillo? Pompidillo. But if you changed them too much. Bombadillo.

Tom Bombadillo. Guys, Tom Bobbedildo. Say it? Say it? Wait, hold on. No, I don't know. It's almost there. This is taken way too long.

Shut up. Tom. Tom B.B.L. That's pretty good. Why to add the dough? Why not just Tom B.D. Because you're, I think, I think, Dildo's crept in there too much. I think we'll put it to a poll.

I think we'll think we'll think we'll, put it in front of the focus group, but I do not want to do porn parodies of Lord of the Rings anymore because it is 2026 still. That's true. It's been 2026 for a talk on a non-renewable resource that it was almost certainly down months. Remley. Remley. Decades ago. Remley's good though. Rimley Blowing is some, Rimley son of blowing. You can't just say the ones that you like. Yeah, I can't. That's right old deal. Yeah. You can't just say the funny ones. Like then it's like, because then it's, it's, uh, inauthentic. Yeah.

It's dishonest. You know what if you always say the funny one? It's just that I haven't thought about Lord of the Rings in a decade. And so the fact that I remembered Gimley at all. You got to think about Lord of the Rings. Quick. What's the age at which you will think I'm going to show my kids Lord of the Rings? I've thought about this question a lot, Justin, because I've actually watched these.

Oh God, imagine my surprise when you lean forward. See, I think that's your way of telling me I've gone too far. And I don't think we'd ever say, you said, no, I don't. Let me just, I think that we would never say to each other like, hey, Trav, I'm worried about you because we grew up. You guys have said that to me so many times. I will never communicate. Look at me in the eyes. Yeah.

I will never communicate something I want you to know with a microphone in front of me. Absolutely. How's that for a good news? Okay, that's good to know where the wall is. That's very, very good. If you see this here? Yeah. I'm probably lying.

You know what I mean? Like, that's, those movies have approximately, if you take the whole run time of like the whole thing, we'll say the non-extended editions. That's still like 10 hours of film. And in that 10-hour of film, you see 12,000 orcs beheaded. That's a tough hang, I think, for a kid. It's a tough hang.

Yeah, it's a tough hang for a kid. They get beheaded a lot and they're nasty. They talk about eating guys. They try to eat guys. It does help with the scariness, perhaps, when you see how easy they head pop off. Yeah, man. Whee.

No problem. And I tell you, the only thing Henry knows, about these films. It's the scene where Gandalf and Saramont have their wizard fight and you see two old men breakdancing having a battle in a marble tower and I remember seeing that as a kid not knowing

fucking anything about this franchise and seeing that me like that's really fucking funny. Why is that in this pick? Why are these two old wizard men breakdance battling? This is crazy. If you like too long to expose your kid to these iconic landmarks then meme culture will back them into

it. Like I'm so afraid my kid's whole understanding of Star Wars is permanently set up by Baby Yoda eating chicken Nuggies. That's the first thing that they understood about Star Wars is like, oh yeah, chicken Nuggies

is a big part of that whole franchise. You take them to see Gros, Mandalorian, and they're going to be waiting for the Nuggies to show up the whole time. I can pretty much guarantee you that it's not going to happen because they do not sell those

at any of the Star Wars restaurants. Well, Griffin, I tell you what's not going to happen is any of that situation because if I brought my kids. My kids love the baby Yoda. Oh, wow. Cooper loves Grogu.

Loves Grogu. If I brought Cooper into a movie theater and made her sit still in the dark for two hours and watch Baby Yoda, she would punch me square off in the nose. And I would deserve it. And I would. You would. For sure. That movie is two hours and 12 minutes long. Don't bring the kids to see it.

No songs. That we know of. We can't actually talk about... Yeah, we can't talk about it. We can't do Grogo two weeks and a world. People are going to suspect it's some sort of secret activation that we got. Yeah, fucking right. I would love it, though.

Hey, movies. Movies. If you're making a movie I want to see, if every 10 minutes you could have a musical number, it doesn't have to have anything to do with the story, just a musical number every 10 minutes to kind of break up the movie I want to see with a movie my kids would watch. You did that great with K-pop Demon Hunters. That was good. Oh, man.

You know who fucking crushed it was my. boy Shret. You'd be watching Shrek, this is a lot of exposition, and then it'd be like, then I saw her face. It's like, oh, dang, damn, damn, awesome.

Thanks, Smash Mal. More of that, please. We have to do an advice question. I love talking about this stuff with you guys. Okay, I'd love to. Then just wait, and I'll do it. And another thing. I've been working at a production company

for two months now. This weekend, we're having a rap party at a bowling alley. I've been bowling since I was 10 years old. I have my own ball and shoes, and I'd say I'm better than the average, Bowler, if I could to my own horn. Is this too intense of an energy to bring to a

work party? I'm a fairly new hire, and I work in post-production. So not a lot of people there might have only see me in passing or don't know me at all at this point. That's from Brave Little Bowler in Bethlehem. And what a good question. And what a good name. What a good question. It's the most...

I think it's a real tightrope on this one, because you don't want to like slow play it too much and seem like a hustler, right? Don't lie, yeah. But you also don't want to comment and be like, watch this, right? Like, okay, that's assuming that the vibe at this post-production rap party is going to be exceedingly competitive. I think in this exact circumstance, we all, the three of us have a team, we work with a team of people who help us make all of our stuff and they are incredible and we all live remotely.

I don't think any one of us lives in the same city as another person. So that time for FaceTime, it is somewhat limited to certain live shows or whatever. If we did a bowling party and it turned out that one of us was secretly fucking dope at bowling, that would be so. The lore expansion would be huge. That would be incredible. Right. But you're talking, what if it was like the most recent person we hired? Awesome. And you're still trying to, okay, but wait, you're still trying to form a mental picture of that person.

And then it's like bowling. And that's it. Like their brand is bowling. Your brand is bowling. I think you're missing the point of the question as well, ditto. It's not like, the question is how to introduce the skill level in the way that leads to awesome. I beg of you. I beg of you.

Please do not try to say it beforehand. Yeah. You will go into the gutter on your first one and you will quit. You will quit your job. You'll say, hey, just a heads up for everybody. I'm pretty fucking good at bowling. Ho-gong-ng! Out.

Well, thanks. This has been fun. I'll clean out my desk. My question is the introducing of your own bowling ball, your personal bowling ball, kind of making that statement for you? That's what you need, yeah. That's, yeah. But that's like, I wouldn't do that, I don't think.

Because then if you bring, you're like, don't worry, I brought my own ball. Ho-gung! Well, I'm out. Thanks, thanks everybody. Yeah. I just wanted today. I just wanted today and it's my hand broke with it. That's two in a row.

Bye, thank you so much. I quit. This is great. I quit again. What if people think that you're not part of the company, you are instead a very good bowler that won't leave them alone? A ringer. Yeah.

Always a concern. Man, it must be cool to be into bowling and then you get to like have your own bowling ball. How much you guys think one of those mystery men bowling ball with the skull inside of it goes for? $752. Travis, print that offer. Travis, print me a premium Mr. Man bowling ball. Print me a usable Mr. Man bowling ball. Okay, but you have to provide the skull.

Quick Etsy search for mystery men bowling ball. And I want to be remote control. I want to be able to fly around and like smash bad guys and stuff. Yeah, search practical use. Oh, man. Oh, gosh, you want to something wild? Yeah. And mass produced them apparently, according to Reddit.

Unsurprising, yeah. Yeah, and like after the movie came out. they might be on eBay. But I can't find a glowing piece of the radical rock from Guts. I can't find a Guts trophy to save my goddamn life. I suspect they say, and you'll take this home, and you don't fucking take it. They give you a voucher for like 80 bucks or something, adjusted for like 1996 money. I think you have one chance.

I can't stop thinking about this as anything other than an opportunity to cement your legend in the company. And if you do have an opportunity to say not, by the way, I'm really fucking good at bowling. And then what if you hit a strike, right? Like my mind doesn't jump to like, what if you fail really bad? It's like, what if you allow yourself to succeed? And you do that, you're all of a sudden a sort of a made person at this company. You're the one who did the coolest fucking bowling thing ever. You just have to think of the right thing to say because we're not going to come up with that.

No, here's what it is. I think you don't talk about your level of skill. you talk about, if you say I've been bowling since I was 10, right? Okay. Then it informs like a level of practice without making any promise of level of skill.

Yes. I've been doing it for 15 years and I've been bad always. Yes. But I can't get enough a throw in this heavy stone. But I, yeah, I got drunk and bought this bowling ball

on the internet. I fucking suck it hitting the pens, but I love crinkle-cut French fries. They are so good. I have a plan. I think it's full-proof, but I want you guys to help me troubleshoot it, okay? You walk up and you got to make sure your boss is out there, right? Our boss is out there. And you say, hey boss, I just wanted to apologize.

And they're like, for what? And then you say, it's my first week on the job, and then you throw the ball, you hit all the pins down. And you say, and I'm already on strike. and then you walk, walk away, right? Yeah. Now, why is this a full-proof plan? Because there are failure points at which you can change the plan. Interesting.

Okay. So here's what you say, hey, you say your boss. Can we start with what if you walk out there and the boss isn't there? So that's a failure point. Maybe you do. So you wait. You stay there. You wait.

You just stand still and wait like. It's still like. And then if you say, so you say like, I just want to say, I'm sorry. You're like holding the ball like. And they show up here like, I just want to say I'm sorry. if you whiff it, then it's like, I farted. Yeah. Oh, nice.

So that part, I think you know that that part needs some work. I think you thought that there was going to be a thing to say there that would be normal and cool. And then you realized, like, suddenly, like, you needed something to apologize for. I've been embezzling. Yeah. I mean, that one's bad, too, but Travis says made me worse, right, Griff? Yeah, Travis is worse for sure. I was trying to make Justin look good.

Thanks for throwing me onto the bus, Justin. I was trying to help you out after your dumb farting. You volunteer for that. He made sure that the bus went right over you to give him maximum looking good. Yeah, a trolley problem. Okay, so a different apology. If the boss comes up and they have a bowling ball also that is personalized, this is another failure point that you can clock. If the boss comes up and you're like, hey boss, I'm sorry.

And then that's when they pull out their orb that's like big boss, CEO, goal. then it's like I'm sorry that I just does it say gold does it say big boss CEO gold or is I just pissed my pants I just pissed my pants yeah I'm sorry I'm sorry I just It seems like the exact thing I seem like the exact same thing just happened to you again juice where you were like maybe if I talk for a while an idea will come But then you got to the end of a lot of talking you're like I guess I pissed my pants you say Yeah talk for longer if you talk for longer the idea will come to you I promise you Yeah, yeah it's sometimes you say You're saying I pissed my pants before you realize it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You could, is there a way of doing it? And if it goes in the gutter, be like, I'm sorry that went in the gutter. I'm sorry I didn't do better. I wish, I'm sorry. I've disappointed you. I'm sorry, I disappointed you, dad. I'm sorry, that was the wrong lane. Yeah.

And then if you strike it and you turn, that part's set in stone. You're going to say, I'm already on strike. or is that a potential sort of if you turn after hitting the strike and you realize like actually this isn't the moment the conditions here are actually pretty great and

the other failure point that is probably most likely is they miss the first thing and then you come back and you go to deliver the punch line and they're looking at their phone so in that case that is I need a plan for that too

I think because then they would just hear I'm going on strike and that the miscommunication possibility there is quite hot. They may miss the strike and then you just say like, I quit. Yeah. You can't fool me. I'm sticking to the union. I collective bargaining.

I love it. I love it. It's great. I don't think you can just do one guy. Like I don't think you can just be one guy and be like, and by the way, never going to get it. Because I do think it's sort of like it's better if there's more people. collective marketing does imply that they're a collection of some sort. Yeah, once you hit the strike, you say it's my first week and I'm already on strike,

then you do have to turn to the other employees and try to get them on your side. Yeah, that's part of the... Yeah, that's part of the... Yeah. I guess you can turn around and be like, or should I say, we're on strike. And the hope is that they're so impressed by your strike that they're like, we'll follow you anywhere, King. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm the boss now. And then they all step up and throw, like, concurrent strikes. Yeah. They all go on strike too. That would be cool. Got practice a little bit ahead of time, but...

I think more labor to speed should be solved with bowling tournaments. I agree. I think the unions would probably get way more wins in that case. I don't know. That's just me. I was in a work meeting with my supervisor and three other co-workers today. At one point, I was adjusting my seat by lifting myself up on my handrests. In doing so, my adjustable armrest slid all the way forward quickly,

making a fairly loud sound. My supervisor, mid-conversation, said, oh, excuse you. I panicked and didn't know how to respond and I didn't say anything. Then the meaning continued on as normal. Brothers, how can I recover from my supervisor and coworkers

thinking I farted? For some context, the call was with my supervisor to co-workers and an HR rep to discuss how we communicated to reorg at our company to direct reports. We were all on a team's call with our cameras on.

That's from the squeak suspect. I tell you, man, when these when these like company folks like start talking, start talking about this stuff, I can't even understand it. Teams, HR rep, supervisor. Like, I start to see these work call. Chair. Yeah. I find out. Yeah, I can't communicate. Reorg. Come on. Like, come on. I don't know, man. I don't think they thought you farted. And here's my justification for that. If they honestly did, I don't think anyone would say, oh, excuse you, out loud. Right? I think that's the thing, your armrest made a funny noise and they were maybe being a little silly, maybe being a little like teenager giving you a hard time. But I don't think anybody hears a noise, think someone farted and their impulse in a professional call with an HR rep on the call is to loudly announce, oh, excuse you.

Yeah. Well, I would say Travis has tamped that situation. down nicely. Well, I think that there's a deeper... No, no, no. I think Travis is right, girl. Well, I was looking at the time, Justin, it's about time to head into the money zone. So I wanted to give us a nice first pitch,

home run. But should we just try to do jokes? You know, like just trying to make like a joke about it. You talk more about pissing your pants in the bowling alley, Justin, please. By all means. We can undermine the premise of the question that you, yourself included, but it does,

it does seem to be an odd way to spend our time. That's a different time. That's question. selection, Travis. He doesn't think of jokes. He's barely thinking at all. He's on autopilot looking for opportunities to make his brothers look good. I'm sorry, I

pissed my pants. When Travis picks his questions, he gets in a big tub of goo, like in Minority Report, and he's just like fucking like it's pure subconscious energy. And then they show up in the show and... Yeah, but if somebody's like, so, tells this

protracted story about a raccoon that came to their porch and stole our all of their vegetables and then ran off and they don't know how to tell their neighbor. I'm hooked. And we're like, I don't think you saw a raccoon. Then it's like, well, what are we doing here? You know, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta win. Let's pretend that there was a loud, rude fart sound.

Hold on, wait, we can settle this right now. Let's just pretend they farted. I don't, mine doesn't. Traff, make a fart noise with your chair. Mine is like very mechanical. I feel like I'm in flight of the next. Navigator. Whoa!

I'm doing it. Okay, so mine can produce... Slice told me, sorry, sidebar, Slice told me he saw somebody doing an armpit fart on the street last week and it really took him back. He's like, I completely forgot about armpit parts. He's like, it's like seeing somebody do pogs.

It's just like, wow, armpit farts, I forgot. I think everybody hits a day with armpit farts where they think, like, I don't want to touch my nude armpit. Like, I can't put my... I'm good. It's either got B.O. on it or it's got deodorant on it. Either way, I'm not eager to get in there. Farts.

Travis, you do a podcast. You're married to a polite person. You're having a field day with that fucking chair. I forgot that my chair arms could do that. Oh, dude, mine has so many vertices of adjustment that I set two years ago and haven't touched since. I can't. It's a classic problem with any chair that you have with adjustable settings like that. You may go through it the first time.

Be like, how do I make it, you know, it's because you're not trying to make it comfort. because you've already decided that that's wrong. Yeah. Because comfort has gotten you into that back pain position. So it's like, okay, you tell me, right? And then you just forget what all these buttons do. It is that. It's that utopian ideal, though.

If I always assumed be an adjustable seat in the car, adjustable seat in my dad, that there is an arrangement of pieces that if I sat down would put me a body neutral, right, where I'd stand up. It's not like I feel comfortable, but I'm also not hurting myself. I need a tailor.

I need a tailor to sit like. No limbs, no head. No limbs, no head, just like floating. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just your L in the tank. Just in the zone.

L in the tank. That's how I want to connect. No more mouse and keyboard. Put me in the tank like L. Put me in the tank. I just. Put me in the tank like L. Put me back, Papa.

Popa. Popa. I got to record a podcast, Papa. Put me in the tank. come up do you does one excuse a fart this is with a question i've been trying to ask for about six minutes now and i hate because very the bad guy when you sneeze you it is expected that the other person says bless you if you burp if you do a little polite burp i think saying oh excuse me that is on you i feel like a phleitus is you got to everybody just kind of pretends like they didn't

hear it's got to be instant self gaslight instant self gas light instant self gas You seek forgiveness. I didn't hear a fart. No, that's true. I didn't hear anything. You have to ignore that it happened. Like, you instantly start trying to, the only adult thing to do is to instantly disabuse yourself in the notion that you heard a fart. And it's kind of casual in a very calculated way.

Then make a completely unrelated comment. Yeah. Hmm. I just want to make sure we were on the- CREM in the pot. I want to make sure we were the same page. Hmm. We're all comfortable in this moment, aren't we?

Yeah. Any more living courage? in the pot What is the situation you're in that you've had a I brought toast and skaldons for everyone Okay

You're at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party And you I just didn't change you The subject group Like tea farty Should we go to the money time Yeah we deserve it

Uh Had to make a website recently You guys know what I did? No You probably spent Like I don't know Months on it And it turned out of

It was not a public website It was a website That I needed to get Some thoughts Organized And I thought the best way of doing this is to build a website with Squarespace. Because we've been talking about how easy it is and how you can make something that looks

great. It is a really, really wonderful experience that is even better than the last time that I did it. They have fantastic templates created by the best designers in the business, which I've told you before, but seeing it in person, putting your hands on these eye frames, it's an emotional experience. Well, slow down, because this is the first time I'm hearing about this, Justin. What is it? Yeah, Trave. Have you ever been to a website?

like Exxon.com. Yeah. Every day. Have you ever been to a website like Exxon.com or Geocities.com slash sunset strip slash studios slash 1960? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, those are websites. They're made by people. Right. What Squarespace does is, though, like, it is an assistant that comes to you and says, you don't know what you're doing, but I will help you. Give me your ideas. And we'll do this together. We'll make a beautiful website.

That's what Squarespace is. And right now, if you head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial, when you're ready to launch, you can use Offer Code My Brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I want to tell you guys about trees. You heard about these things? I trust you. You're going to love these things. I am a very pleased and proud fastgrowingtrees.com customer.

I have a lemon tree growing in my office. And recently, we went over to my in-laws house for a meal, and I brought a lemon cake that I made with one of the lemons that grew off that tree. It was wonderful, and I bragged about it a lot. Maybe too much. It's hard to say, but I grew my own lemon. That fucking dank, dude, like, you got to show that off. When you grow your own lemon?

Are you kidding? Now, it was just one lemon at the time. It's a small tree, but I was still very specific. I'm proud of that. Big ass lemon though, dude. This lemon was fucking huge. Don't undersell this lemon, dude. This lemon was the size of my head.

It was a big ass lemon. It was gigantic. Big lemon. Yeah, I was very proud of it. And did you know that fast-growing trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over two million happy customers, of which I am one? They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees,

flowering trees, shrubs, and house plants. It's like your local nursery. But anywhere you live. With more plants than you'll find anywhere else, all curated for your climate, which is wonderful, by the way. I live in Ohio and stuff changes here all the time, and it's really hard to find the right planting zone.

Tell me about it, dude. Yes. Plus, with their alive and thrive guarantee and ongoing support from trained plant experts, you can plant and grow with confidence. I have an indoor lemon tree in my office, and I have, I think it's called the Redbud growing in my front yard. Both of them absolutely thriving.

and both of them from fastgrowing trees.com. I'm very proud of them. I love knowing that I control nature like a god. It's why I have so many plants because it makes me feel powerful. Right, right. Yeah, so now's the perfect time to plant. They have great deals on spring planting essentials

up to half off on select plants and listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using the code my brother at checkout. That's fast growing. Trees.com code my brother, all one word, offer is valid for a limited time, terms and conditions may apply. Griffin Lego has a curse of the black pearl ship

from Pirates of the Caribbean with the crew is $500, and I don't know if I could justify it, Griffin. A Gooney set? It's on Lego for 379. It's 2,800 pieces. That's child's play. You could fucking knock that out. Ooh, I like the Shire one, too.

I'm assuming it's just potted back up at some point during this. Yeah. Awesome. I want a much squad. I want to Munch Squad. Squad. What could Munch Squad is Munch? Rachel, as much of that stuff of them talking about it, I think it's beautiful tapestry, guys.

That's the real content and I don't want to lose that in the edit. So if we could just try to preserve as much of that, Rachel, if there was any of that conversation while I was in the bathroom that didn't have, like, bank details or anything, if you could just make sure we preserve that content. I don't want to lose any of it. I'm not a woman. Okay.

And I want to make that clear that I'm not making any judgments about our first story. We have two stories for you on the Munch Squad a podcast, within a podcast, which profile is the latest and greatest in brand eating. Our first is that it is a celebration of women's health month. And it starts with this. You glow, girl. Awesome. You glow, you glow, girl.

You glow girl. You glow, girl. Is there any punctuation in there that you can sort of? You glow, comma, girl, exclamation point. Plya Bowles is introducing mermaid season. And that is capital S, capital Z, capital N. One fun thing that you could do when you encounter slang and press releases is Google it with and then append Reddit to it.

Because then you can find a Reddit post from nine years ago where someone says, what's going on with Susan? So, Plya, way on trend with this one, Susan. It's mermaid Susan during Women's Health Month. It's a new line of four smoothies

and bowls that bring together two defining elements of the brand. For women. For women. Functional feel good ingredients in visually striking creations. The menu blends college and pepestripping and blue spirulina, a protein-rich antioxidant pack superfood. Wait, did you say blue?

Not the blue, certainly not the blue spirulina. They're just putting that in it. But that's the best for women. Yeah. It's got mermaid-worthy menu items with naturally bold colors and tropical flavors. This true star of mermaid season is mermaid mood bowl featuring a Nutella drizzle and seashell treat for your help. I don't know.

help for a woman's healthy body in mind. For a woman's health, there's a seashell treat for you. Dear, Dev. It looks like just a big chocolate seashell. Yeah, I bought you a large bowl of ice cream and a seashell treat. Have you had your seashell treat today? It will prevent your uterus from moving about your body. The doctor says your uterus gets rambunctious without your seashell treat.

Doctor's orders. Now have some flowers. The bowl. The bowl blends, oh my God, the bowl blends Paglia and Paya coconut bases, swirled with blue spirulina to create a flavorful mix of blue, pink, and soft purple tones reminiscent of ocean waters where mermaids thrive. Like you women like. Like you women like. The ocean waters, that's like saying like the ocean is where fish thrive. No, it's just where they live.

It's like they don't have another option. Certainly they don't thrive on land, I guess, or in the sky. It's also ignoring your freshwater nymphs. You know what I mean? Sure. Biding into the chocolate hazelnut shell reveals a rich gooey center, a small indulgence worthy of every mermaid at heart. Great.

Yeah, they've also got a mango globe ball. We haven't checked it, but I bet chocolate's poisonous to mermaids. I'm just betting. There's no way. Why would they have that in the Ombudsman? There's no fucking way they're like immune cyst their gut macrobiotics or whatever are like ready for a big chocolate See if they had the courage of their convictions this treat would just be like a raw fish That's what my crazy

They're not eating this ply-up mix of stuff They're eating a fish head It's a base Infused with collagen peptides to support glowing skin hair and nails layered with fresh strawberry and banana then top with GEOC and a dollop of cocoa whip, light and satisfying. It's designed to deliver that glow from within feeling, which I think is a fun way of describing,

hey, about a quarter pound of chia is just ripping through me like a freight tray. Oh, I'm glowing from within. I can feel it. I literally feel every seed. So undigested, are they? Mermaid's season is all about supporting our important mermaids. during women's health month with flavor-filled beautiful

and functionally beneficial meals that you can only find at Playa Bowls. They've bought into the mermaid messaging so much that it's starting to sound like it's not for humans. Yeah. Yeah. Details like the

seashell on our mermaid mood bowl and cocoa whip swirls are designed to be discovered and enjoyed. They're designed to be instinctive moment for guests. They're designed to be discovered and enjoyed. They are so fucking horny for this one chocolate shell, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, we did it. We did it. We put one little chocolate shell in there. Yeah, it's in there. Keep looking. You're going to love this shit. You're going to love this shit, dumb, dumb.

You like you're seeking fine games? Here you go, Mommy. Find the chocolate shell. The other, this is better, this is more important news. This is the big story. Can I just real quick before we hop off that story? Oh, I'd love to talk about that because, wait, real quick, are you guys women? Because I don't want to judge this women's health offering.

It is the, it's the you glow girl thing that I want to return back to because it. Wow, the very first words of it. It made me wonder about sort of, there's a couple of interpretations of that based on like, obviously it's like second person, but is it like an imperative? or is it sort of just like a description of the press okay but that also applies that applies to you go girl as well i'm realizing now because i think my whole life i've always heard that as like a like a command sentence like you better you better go girl but it could also be a simple kind of declarative like you are one who goes girl you did say yeah it could be like i want to remain in the same place that you are at girl yeah but i no longer wish to be in your presence. You go girl. That's another take on it. You should be the one. This is a girl who goes. And so to describe that, I will say, you go. You go, girl. Now what about Yu-Gi-o girl? Ooh. Yeah. Sounds funny, but doesn't mean anything. Well, if we don't know what he sounds together, but is there a joke? Let's just go. Blue eyes white dragon, fucking, the one that you build with the five parts and it kills everything. It's

Can I move on? Yeah, please. Because this story is important. And this, that's going to feel pretty silly for stopping listen to podcast with this one. Does Burger King have more Batman commemorative frosted glass mugs? Oh. Is that we're about to get into? No.

Shit. I want to talk to you about the freestyle mini. The what? The freestyle mini. That actually took a breath away. It's a new. Everyone knows the freestyle machine is the one good piece of technology from the past 10 years. The only one, yeah.

We all, the only good technology, name another one. The freestyle soda. Okay. So the only, the only good technology of the past 10 years is the Coca-Cola freestyle machine. And now it's getting a next generation update. I'm going to read to you some things for this press release that you're going to think I'm making up, but I swear to God.

I swear to God, everything I'm about to read is real. Yeah. 140 years since 19, sorry, since 1886, the Coca-Cola company has been at the forefront of dispensed beverages. 140 years later, the company is redefining the space once again with modular connected equipment that translates consumer trends into drinks faster than ever before. Ooh. Okay. So when freestyle launched, the headline was variety, right? You could go to a freestyle machine. You push a button, you say, I want diet ginger ale with cherry flavoring. I want power rate.

And that was the headline, you know. But now what merged over time is more transformative, a real-time data signal from tens of thousands of machines showing exactly what consumers are reaching for and returning to order again. Y'all, the freestyle machines have never been about choice. They've been about watching you. You know what I mean? They've been about learning. Wait, what? Cifle Data translates into a finished market-ready drink in as few as 90 fucking days.

While the traditional process takes 18 months. For example, Coca-Cola Freestyle developed and launched Fanta Crimson Sour Cherry in White Castle and Sprite Loco Lime in Wingstop, both in under three months from concept to port. Okay, so to break this down, you're saying that there's, like, we listen to Reggie who works at the fucking Cinemark downtown. and every time he hits his soda machine, he mixes fucking Mr. Pib and vanilla and a little bit of Powerade. And he's crazy for that shit, so we're like, this is Reggie's drink.

No, you stupid idiot. That's not it at all. The machine has been watching Reggie. And the machine tells Coke, hey, there's this idiot Reggie and his 20 idiot friends, and they always do this one mix. And then Coke's like, well, let's sell that as a different thing. And they're like, excellent.

That's exactly what I said. Welcome to the Coca-Cola Press conference. We have a big announcement today. Can we break down what just happened? I said that. And then just was like, no, you don't bitching it. And then he was like, no, Reggie is not reporting the information.

The machine is reporting the information. Right. Right. Yeah. No, for sure. I think I understand. I think, okay. What were you saying, Traff? Okay, so you're not a, you kind of get it, but a lot of people don't. That's a problem we've had it Coke for a long time. So I don't want you to be embarrassed.

Right. No, I am. We develop Fanta Crimson Sour Cherry in White Castle in under three months from Wingstop to pouring. Do you know what I'm saying? Members of the press, we've tracked, hello. My name is Dave Coca-Cola, the CEO of Coca-Cola. We've tracked.

Why did we only get one reporter? Hey, Dave, why did you only get one reporter at our press conference? We've got 40 unoccupied chairs and this one der Brody in the front. I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to... I invited a bunch of people. I appreciate it. I appreciate you coming out. I just...

You've already asked one really stupid question. I'm actually here for the Associated Press, so they'll kind of just take what I write. We'll be it back to you. Dave, what were you saying? So we've tracked the data from countless movie theaters and fast food restaurants. So today we're going to unveil our latest product, the one that everybody wants. This is a little bit of soda in a free water cup when the person's back is turned. you'll be able to buy this at every retail location.

And how good is this? Oh, that's not the point. The point is that the water cup is free. Hey man, fucking just say like, it's really fucking good that we're. Oh, no, it's terrible because it's free. No, man. We've got to try. Hold on.

Try that again, but say like, it's really good. It's really good for us. There we go. The other one that we have. Wait, why did you need that? ethics SPJ the other product

that we're really happy about is where you dump like just a second worth of soda and it doesn't look quite brown enough and you think

something maybe is weird about it so you dump it out that's something we're selling for 30 cents now okay also you can now complain every soda comes with a person you can complain to

about how maybe like the juice is out back in the back and they need to check the syrups or whatever right that comes standard with every package and we put

I'm going to slack you a quote a real quote from the the real guy who does has your real job just try to sneak it in if you can't well you send me a script for a joke to say it's not a joke oh okay

we're announcing a lot of importance you're also going to put some funny like you know a picture of ice tea on the ice tea thing people love that we're evolving our dispense equipment into a connected intelligent platform where every pore strengthens our understanding

of consumers and every unit becomes part of a global network. At scale, that's what allows us to move faster, differentiate our system, and deliver more relevant experiences of the point of poor. And you can, like, hit every button really quick to get a bunch in there and act on you invented it. Sorry, to return to your previous point. Everywhere you just said was scary to me.

Which one? Oh, it's a picture of iced tea. It doesn't, no, after iced tea, the stuff after, the stuff after iced tea, every word you said sounded like a menacing. But pushing the button really quickly to get a little bit of soda. I feel like you're being a purposefully kind of evasive right now. Oh,

was that about evolving our dispense equipment into a connected intelligent platform where every pore strengthens our understanding. When I take my kids to see the Super Mario Galaxy movie, and then they get a high sea with a little bit of sprite mixed in there. Yeah. Because they're not all about that full carbonation life. They need to cut it with something. You're saying that they are being data-mined to feed a large,

Redinal scanned, just basic stuff, tracked. And is that good? Is that good that's happening? It's good for us. We like that. We like that. We know exactly what you like. And the nanobots in the soda, you know what I mean?

So we can geo-track. That's good. We can do something like that. Because the story guys that I'm thinking of is like, tech is so fun. I'm sort of the tech guy at the Associated Press. Oh, like Robocop. When I write about this stuff, I wish. It's always like, this tech's fucking baller fan.

So just like if you could sort of change the language a little bit to be less like we're watching you. We know your taste. We know what your family likes. Yeah. We're manipulating you. And you want to take another pass at the quote there, Greg. I sent you another copy, a different copy. And make it more just like tech is cool future.

Talk to the ad on. We're getting there. New non-nutrious sweeteners include a remote non-nutrative sweetener system for high volume outlets of self-cleaning nozzle, cup and lid holders and bag in box. or B-I-B, Way Station that provides operators with real-time visibility into product levels, eliminating guesswork, and reducing out of stocks. Question? Yes. Why can't you just talk fucking normal?

Like, what is it? What is a non-nutritive sweetener? We'll start there. There's a button you can press to make the Mountain Dew sweeter. That's fucking crazy. What's that mean? It's remote, though. So we do it from here.

Yeah, we do it from here. Do we sweeter? Oh, and that's the reason. It'll just be a little sweeter, baby. I've got all these wires connecting to my brain and I'm the remote. So how do you decide if someone gets an extra sweet

Mr. Pib? Do you have a camera? And if they have spent more than a million dollars on Coke products over the course of their life, they get a little extra sweetener to say thank you. Okay. They can just get a little bonus,

a little bonus sweetener. God, I tell you, I tell you, Dave, I was really worried he was going to ask about hydras. But I guess we have. I do actually, I have heard, rumors about the sort of Sorry, I wasn't talking to you. Do you have a question?

You raise your hand. Like, have you never been at? He's never been at one before, I don't think. No, we're going to have to electrify your seat for just two seconds. Give him a quick buzz. I do like that. Don't do the buzz. Yeah, did you have a question?

He did it, and I fucking did not move. That's true. I get buzzed a lot. No, I've heard about Hydrus. I heard you're debuting it at the National Restaurant Show, and it does. Sorry, what? Sorry, what? It does sound like a monster. It does sound like a monster. It does sound like a monster.

It sounds like a monster's name, Hydris. It sounds like a monster that's going to kill it. Please don't talk about Hydris anymore. We bet. It just, I, it's a concern. What I have in my notes here, and I got this scuttle blood. What have you heard? What have you heard and I will either confirm or do you, you tell me what you've heard and we'll talk and we either give you a yes or no. It's so rare that someone responds with, I can either confirm or deny. Yeah. Usually you get the opposite in this business. I heard regarding hydras that every piece of equipment debuting at the national restaurant show shares a unified visual identity, hydris.

Right across the entire Coca-Cola dispenser fleet. Hydrus is a consistent design language that signals quality and sets expectations before a single drop is poured whether a consumer encounters a Coca-Cola machine. The experience now begins the same way. It's fucking, it's like they're charging head. long into dystopia. Like with this press release, they're like... Cola at the forefront.

Like, how dystopian can we fucking get in one press release? But it's good because it's for soda. Do you understand? Yeah. You have to... If there's going to be terrible dystopian advances that rob us of our humanity,

and many of them will be so challenging and painful, when there's some that are like, we just want to give you the soda you want, we have to celebrate that technology. We have to take it and celebrate it It's great tech. It's great tech.

So try slurm. It's a real slurm situation. Who at the fucking national restaurant show is going to be like, damn, all these Coca-Cola dispensers look really good? And then someone is going to have to be like, thanks. It's hydras. It's a unified visual. It's cool. Oh, man.

It's, uh, what a bad, what a bad time, man. We're going to get through this, but man alive, you got to take a moment to say like, wow, it's good. No, you're confused. This is good. You're so mixed up. This is good. When you read about bombs and stuff, we hate that. Dude, yeah, no, obviously there's worse stuff going on,

but the fact that Coca-Cola is like, Hydrus is watching you, you're like, that's good, actually. To refresh you better. To refresh me better. It's giving you what you want before you know you want it. Yeah, it's refreshing you better. It's like a victimless crime. Like, it just wants to refresh you.

there's a couple victims just in that one example I feel like. This gave me caffeine-free flat sprite. Is that what I wanted? I guess it is. It's better for you. It's what you want. I don't think it. I wanted an icy.

I see the devil. There is also Coca-Cola X Micromatic Mixology. Awesome. Developed in partnership with Micromatic. This is not how. alcoholic mixology dispenser takes familiar beverages, sodas, lemonade, teas, coffees, and layers in syrups, dairies, and alternative dairies to create drinks that reflect the craft and customization consumers are increasingly seeking. That result is a level of creativity at the fountain that has not existed there before. Is it got hydras though?

Because if it doesn't have hydras, I'm going to be fucking whipped with hydras. Hydrus AI. The global Hydra's military platform. Yeah. There's an extra area in there to fit in the AI in capitals. So it's military. Everything's trying to get you all the time. I turn on my Sudoku app on my phone and it's like, hey, can we just fucking watch you?

And I'll be like, I guess you're just Sudoku. I don't think I want Coca-Cola to know. I don't think I want Coca-Cola to pump me. I don't want them to pump me. but Hydris, I think in my gut, I feel like the best thing you can do is if you see a, any sort of freestyle setup that is not in the Hydris design language,

I think you have a moral imperative to tear it from the wall. Destroy it. They want you to. They want to replace that. They want to replace that machine. They want to get Hydris up in there. At this point, it's a false idol and it is like, fucking the brand.

And like the thing you could do for height, like, I think what Hydrus would want you to destroy all freestyle machines that are not Hydris enabled to clear the way for Hydrus. Hydrus, by the way, as far as I can tell, means a glossy red shell with a black, an imposing black outcropping with a screen on it. That's Hydris. And so they've made it also a kind of scary, like Hydris is. Like the AI, like the thing from 2000. and want a space odyssey. It looks like a squid game guy. It looks like a squid game.

Like one of the guys on squid game that comes around and kills you if you bust, if you like knock over the jingot tower or whatever. They've made it scary on purpose and they've called it hydras. Awesome. Cool. I think it would be fun if we all picked

a terrible disgusting combination of beverages and agreed to order the hell out of it for the next six months until Coke was like, this is what everybody wants. What if Coke is so disgusting? disgusted with the actual date that it receives. They're like, we don't want to do this anymore. The serps that you people are putting in are vulgar and we don't want to be this.

We're just going to do, you can have Sprite or Coke. From now on there's one button and it pours flat water. That's all you get. We gave you infinite tools to create art and you guys made Pibbonade, which is Mr. Pib and Liminate mixed all up. That would slap maybe, actually. What if that was one button that just said guaranteed universal insurance? Just like one act, and if everybody pressed it.

If ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would count as a vote. But, dude, why are we wasting time in the voting booth? We should be doing it at Hydrus. Yeah, Hydrus should do the elections for sure. And the new president is, phantom. What if?

Mr. Pipp, more like President Pib. What if? You will stand when Mr. Pib comes in the room. We should be done now. The show is over, so this is free. But I do have to say, free come. content for everybody. This is the after show.

This is the after show. What if Stanley was prophetic? But instead of Hydra, it was Hydrus. And instead of the Avengers, it was Doge. And that's actually what the battle is. Wow, Jesus. What a cool ultimate reality. You whipped up.

Don't just be only thing they can say was give this away for free. Yeah, man. This is the after show, man. Trave, after this one, I don't know. I'm going to have too many more commercial options. Yeah. Frankly.

Thanks for. listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. Hail Hydrus. Speaking of consumerism, we've got some new merch. We've got that don't talk to me until I have my podcast mug, the I like all butts and no government mug, which is also a digital cross-age pattern, and the my brother and tea, which is available alone or in a bundle with one of the mugs. All hydras compatible. Yes. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the First Nations Development Institute.

I just want to say a huge shout-up and an apology to my fellow spectrum writers who are now going to be forced, compelled chemically, biologically, to tell anybody who they are with when they encounter a hydras machine that that is part of the hydras design language. And no one's going to want to hear it, but we are going to have to tell about it. So apologies, but you know, you're welcome. You're going to be doing a little education. You can pre-order the Adventure Zone story and song. Right now, it's the final graphic novel and the Adventure Zone balance. graphic novel series. If you go to

Theadventurezonecomcom. And there's an exclusive pre-order gift of a postcard pack and sticker. It's available from our publisher if you submit your receipt at bit.ly slash Taz G-G-N gift.

Carrie posted those on Instagram. They look amazing. I will want to secure my own ones of those as well. Thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song, My Life is better with you. What if she's forgotten

how to draw other stuff? You know? Yeah. What if she's forgotten how to draw other things? You know, she draws a robot or something. Well, we got robots, but you know. So thank you, Montaigne, for the Israith theme song.

My Life is Better With You. Montaigne recently featured on an episode of Off Menu, a podcast I really enjoy. It's very fun. I don't know if we should be plugging other shows. Like, go listen to that one, but then never again. Unless you like it. I mean, you get this into more of it. We got to throw something.

Justin, you got something to throw? Yeah, I got this, look at this adorable potion bottle. got it at the Renfair. That is cute. It's soft, crochet. It should be a good throw. Okay, let's do it. Are we, have you guys been throwing at the wall or at your chair?

I've been throwing it at the wall. Yeah, but like we're throwing it at the wall to see what sticks, right? The chair is so soft, I feel like it dulls the sound a little bit. I usually, I mean, I have a pretty big space to aim for here. You guys don't, maybe. Nothing. It's pretty quiet. I can hear it.

Well, my name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McElroy. They're not all going to be loud. Kiss your dad square on the lips. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.