My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 815: Pain Is Funny Leaving The Body

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

Welcome to our master class! Today we're turning precious childhood memories into content and entering contract negotiations with a goose. Rest assured, any and all virtual succubi will be confiscated! I hope everyone brought their own clown nose or this will just be embarrassing.   Suggested talking points: They Uncancelled Honk Boy, I Am the Laughman, Handful of Loose Icing, What If You Can't Turn the Clown Off, Small German Ghost Bullying Someone Into Submission, Clockwork Pink   First Nations Development Institute: https://www.firstnations.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinmbmbam

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Buddy, welcome to my brother, my brother, and me. An advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trave Nation? It's me, your boy, Travis McRoy, coming to you live for the studio. Big news. Yeah. I'm Griffin. Go ahead. Okay.

I got some big news for Travon. We should change the order. We should fucking change the order and make the officials. It is weird because we build to Griffin. And that's always, I will say this, 10 out of 10 times anti-climms. You know what I mean? It's like almost always a decline in the energy. I don't have bits.

I don't have characters. I give the people what they want. No questions asked. This isn't a bit. It's big news about Travnation. Oh, wow. No, it's not about my custom umbrella line. That's coming September 2027.

Keep your eyes out. Pre-orders open now. But I've been invited to join a content house. Fuck yeah, dude. One of the big ones. Yeah, man. Did you get a fucking sting crew? I've been invited to join Purina ProPlan

slash CountryCrock Presents Multimedia Mansion. I've heard of that one, yeah, that one's, that one stepped in some hot water sort of legally, ethically newswise lately. They cleaned house, it's an all-new crew, it's me, it's Honkboy, it's Pokedy, it's Big Shoes, Ghostface 69. They uncanceled Honk Boy?

Let him finish. It's okay. He's got five more. Which ones did I already say? I said honky. You got honk boy, pokey, big shoes, ghost face 69, hopster, all the big ones. That's only, okay, you'd only have one.

Well, it's only five, six rooms in the mansion. It was my understanding that big shoes died. I thought big shoes fucking died. Well, this is a new big shoes. This one does exclusive unboxings of hats. I'll say, Travis, he has big shoes to fill up. Yeah. Well, his dad died, Justin, so I'm glad.

Glad you think that's so funny, dude. Yeah, his dad died. Big shoe senior. It's not a laughing matter, man. His dad died trying to fit 300 tachis in his mouth at one time for content. And choking to tachies died. So that was not healthy for him. And it was the blue talkies, too.

so it burned him really bad. So Big Shoes Senior, the parrot died, so now Big Shoes Jr., the parrot, has taken over the hat on boxings. That's interesting. So are they all tropical birds? No, that's fucking stupid. Pokey is a hedgehog,

Ghostface 69, is a call it duty streamer, and also a Labrador. Hobser is a rabbit, obviously. So is everybody an animal other than you? Or, I mean, the top boy is a goose. Okay. Are you the only?

That's not a tropical bird. This is a bird. They can live in the tropics. Big shoes as a parrot. So how do you- But they're all content creator. All of them combined have like 60 million impressions across social media and streaming.

So. And that's pretty good for a goose. And it's gonna help my brand so much. Are you in charge of the, do you have to like take care of the animals or like- We all have our responsibilities? What could a hedgehog's responsibilities possibly entail.

Patrol on the hedge? Yep. Hogan. I guess so. Coggin in the head safe. I am responsible for a lot of refilling things. Buying things, refilling things. Do you play Call of Duty for Ghostface 69?

Because I don't know how. The idea, Griffin, that I would even touch his rig. Oh my God. Would you engage with another man's car? Yeah. Right? Would you steal a boat? So do Justin and I have to,

do that we make all our content together are we part of the contract or what's the deal what's this will be a bit of a shift for my content i think that we're okay can i just say this i'm very excited because i've always wanted to be whenever you watch the great youtube family content that i think everybody enjoys and celebrates it is completely unproblematic there's always like a disinterested older brother who seems like he's headed to sports and that's i feel like i would be so good at that role. Like, I'm not really like, sometimes you do the pranks on me and maybe like you'll paint my whole room blue, but I'm not like having to do any of this stuff. Like maybe we'll play hide and seek in Camden Park like one time in a video, but like I'm mainly, it seems

like I'm going to do something sporty. This is great. If you guys would keep these ideas coming, I'm contractually committed to produce 12 hours of content a day. And that's after editing. so after okay yeah so it usually

ends up being about 18 hours of filming a day but you know it's just hanging out

you know it's just talking with the gross yeah for fun and trap told us

yesterday it only has to be sound there was about 30 minutes yesterday where Travis just made

noises with his mouth I mean it wasn't even yeah I mean it's content you know

12 hours of it is usable and brandable right you've got that duolinger

Dio Linger partnership where Honk Boy is trying to teach you goose language. Yeah. And that's pretty. And how's that going, Traff? We actually had to edit that way down because I was- In goose, please. No, because my accent is apparently horribly offensive to the goose community. Yeah.

And interestingly enough to swans as well, there's a crossover in my accent. They're the same bird. That's, oh my God, Griffin, please don't let Honk boy hear you say that. That's incredibly insensitive. We just had to do a whole sensitivity training on species and stuff. I actually was the only one required to attend now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I heard that you pretended to sit on the hedgehog one, whose name I forgot already, and you'd stand up holding your butt like, ouchy, ouchy!

Yeah, she didn't enjoy that. Number one thing that hedgehogs like fucking hate, man. She didn't like that when you pretend to poke your butt. Sorry, I just got, I just got, oh, I'm out of the house. Ah, dang, trap, I'm sorry. Is it because you're doing this right now? Yeah. I have other opportunity.

I have, Trav, don't worry. I have a business plan for you that I hit upon this week, actually. Oh, okay, great. Yeah. Because I owe them a lot of money now. We're going to get you out of it. I saw TikTok about how it was a little bit. Watching the TikTok was bad because it's unnerving.

Basically the prompt of the TikTok, which the basis of the TikTok was there are YouTube channels that are, YouTube activating this like auto translating feature right so it's just like auto translate these videos from other countries auto translate them into English the concern is that like in this world of you know a Mr.

B style ramp up to like the most incendiary the most whatever we will outsource our content creation to poorer countries you know less than other nations where people might be exploited and that will be translated in English right that's

That was the unnerving sojourned to the TikTok. And then the worry would be that basically like this gets outsourced to other countries. My question is, was slightly different. Is that how do we get that worked out the other way? Where we make their content? No, we're like, yeah. So I feel like maybe we'd hit big if we were getting auto translated into other countries. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, we have been maybe like English locked and maybe our real audience is a German-speaking crowd or a Japanese-speaking crowd. They would get us like they get Hasselhoff kind of deal. Yes, exactly. Yes, Travis. Yeah, we have re-charted here in America. Right. But you put us like in Germany or Finland or something. Yes, yes.

The technology is there now, Travis. For us to be a global. Think about how big Hasselhoff could have got it if he had AI. on his side. Yeah, who better than Google's AI engine to take our twisted brand of comedy repurpose it for the Venezuelan audience and just like give it, you know what I mean? Some cultural references here and there. Yeah, you would need to not just translate word for word. They'd have to be like, I don't know how big, like, Morbius was. You know? So for the Morbius episode, they would have to choose like the Venezuelan equivalent of Morbius.

When we translated the Salman's book into Chinese, the translator reached out to me and said, I'm really struggling with this bit where you said you feel like He-Man slamming a Capri Sun. We have Capri's son, but we don't have He-Man. That's weird. That is not the one that I thought would be. So he says, is it sort of like Monkey from Journey to the West? And I'm like, yep. Okay, just swap.

Yes, you will feel like a monkey from Journey to the West, Let me a Capri Sun. 100%. You got it. Then troll F. Battlecat. Right. Replace.

Nimbus Cloud. When they said, is it like Monkey from Journey to the West, were you like, I should have made that the reference to begin with? That is fair. Justin, I thought you were going to go a different way, which is instead of outsourcing it to countries

where people would be taking advantage of and why not outsource? Did I say that? We hate. We hate. We have. We've been doing this for so long. I hope people just assume we hate that stuff. Outsource it to us.

So we'll make Mr. Beast content and then they can auto translate it to like how Mr. Beast would say it. But we would make it. No one watches Mr. Beast anymore. Mr. Beast tried to give away 100 Bugatti the other day and not even a hundred people showed up. No takers.

No takers. He got stuck with 50 Bugatti's can alone. Because he had games and he hosted his games and he said come play for a billion dollars and then everyone left him. And they're like, we hated those games. Well, he spent the whole game going, don't you guys want to be shitty to each other? And they're like, no, I would feel bad if I did that.

And he's like, but for money, you want to be shitty to each other. And it's like, wow, this is an interesting look into your world. I really enjoyed Beast showing up on Survivor because as a zillennial, I had a little swell of like, well, well, well, well, look who's on CBS. You know what I mean? Like, well, look is not too cool. to come on our dusty ass old reality show. Yeah, you weren't the only one like that

because Jeff also shriveled up like one of the creatures from Ursula's layer that made a bad deal with her. Welcome, Beast. Please, a million more dollars. Thank you, Daddy. Can I say, is it too much to call it the Beast Factor? I'm freaking out with how much Beast effect

is going on in Survivor right now. He's the king of YouTube. But I felt like that, too, but I just watch it. So credit to Jeff. I mean. Yeah, he's right. I think all the money's in family-based content, not our age family, but like.

I was going to say, what a we made? Jeffrey, still haven't seen a picture of you with the trope, my man. Would love to catch a glimpse. Would love, yeah. Would love you. Would love to. No, it made it to HQ. We tracked it.

We tracked it, Jeff. It said HQ would love a glimpse. Use it as an immunity idol in an episode. Oh, my God. We're not asking for money. Just make it a fundamental prop in the show. If it could be like a game winning immunity idol that comes up in the finale episode, that would be. Yeah, it would be if you could show up and we'll, if you could be like the McElroy brothers gave us $2 million to add to the prize pool.

And we're not going to do that, though. We don't have it, Jeff, you have to. You would do it, but do it in our name. Yeah. It seems like all the, a hawk just like grabbed a bird right off my balcony, guys. Are you kidding? Nature. No, dude, it was a huge big bird and it swooped in and it screeched a little bit and it grabbed another bird and it went.

Nothing else we're going to do today. That's the craziest shit I've ever seen. Is there something in your life that you've needed guidance on? Like, you have to be open to signs and importance. Like what, what do you need guidance on? The universe is trying to tell you. I think the Hulk is now, the threat, the hawk now thinks that my house is a cool hangout spot to grab little birds. You don't know what that little bird was planning, Griffin.

that hawk just saved your life. True. Sky. Sky. He was going to assassinate you. That little bird was a spy. When I see how many V-bucks, these parents are giving their kids

for hiding out of Dave and Busters for two straight days, I think they must be making lots of fucking cache. And I think that's where the money is. I don't want to make that kind of content with my own children. We could, the three of us do it. And maybe it would be kind of the same where I'd be like, you guys didn't clean your room. So now you've got to drink this milkshake

that I made out of fucking shit. We live in a content house with six kids that aren't our kids. So this is what I was going to mess up my kids. I don't want to mess up mine. I think family YouTube really takes advantage of children and it's, there's a lot of horrible stuff. So let's instead hire child actors and the industry that has never taken advantage of children, never been detrimental.

Yes. And also we want to be so clear about this because I don't want anybody be confused. family YouTube bad yeah family podcast good good we like that I've been taking advantage

of Justin Griffin for years now to coast off of them but we're grown look how happy they are and our kids like it and our kids sometimes a little bit but they like they do like it

I've gotten some positive feedback and my kids are proud of me occasionally proud so yeah that feels good I've never made my kid hide in a Home Depot while they paint themselves orange. How's that? Right.

You know what I mean? Occasionally a YouTube video will make my kids think that real happy families set up bouncy castles in their living room to sleep in for the night. And I have to explain to them that, one, all the lights are on and they're filming it. So they're not sleeping in there. When you watch those videos where it's like, I turn my house into a trampoline park, I always, there's a bit where someone like jumps into a shand, and breaks it and everyone's like,

ha ha ha ha. So that's always where I pause it. And I see, I say, that's exactly why. That's exactly what we don't have that. They're having fun. They're doing a good job.

That's someone's chandelier. Someone worked hard on that in this face. Also, that's not. My kids watch so much YouTube that they think there's a non-zero chance Mark Roberer is going to blow up their home with elephant toothpaste at any moment.

You know what I mean? At any moment, Mark Robert could come in here and blow up this whole place with elephant toothpaste. It's Mark Rover, but I do love French. Like, I'm Macrobele. No, no, no, listen, I've done a lot of his crunch labs.

No, that's the evil version. I've done a lot of his crunch labs. It's Mark Roberber. I don't think it's Mark Robber. I do. I'm a shop member, Griffin. It's Mark Robber. I've watched this show on Netflix.

It's Mark Robber. I think it's Mark Robobert. I think it's Mark Robber. Are you children ready to build an oscilloscope? I'm not a Mark. Mark, do your parents have homeowners insurance? Mark, if you want to send a sequence. And let us know if it's Robert or I think you may want to switch.

Roboy. Joe to the punch. Hey, how about some advice? Let's help. Yeah. I want to help. Yeah. I want to help.

I work in a nonprofit. And per my contract, I have a stipend that I can spend on personal and professional development. I've used some of it to learn a new language. However, a company newsletter listed a few more options, one of which is a clown retreat, where I can, quote, learn about what clowning means to me. My job has nothing to do with clowning. And my girlfriend definitely wouldn't approve.

Is it irresponsible for me to go on a free clowning retreat for my own enjoyment on company dollars? Please help. Question two. If I did go, do you think it's assume I would bring my own nose and clown makeup? But that's from clown. Now you're not taking it. Now you're being a clown. Oh, what?

That was the hinge of the question for me. The hinge of the question for me was, do I bring my own clown nose and makeup? You don't think they send it. email ahead of time to let you know what kind of prep work. They tell you how many underwear to bring probably. If the classes find out what clowning means to you, it seems to me like the first like calling, the first like let's weed out, you know,

is to see, does clowning mean to you? Bring your own note, be prepared, or I will earn the nose and I will earn the makeup. If I have to figure out the right clown white to bring in where I'm not going to get beat up by the big kids, I'm not going to go. It's got to be provided for me, okay? I mean, I know, right? Just a nose isn't shade, yeah. I have a degree in this stuff.

Okay, this is my area of expertise. Clowning is an art that is not limited to the nose. A lot of people forget this, that I had a master class with Marcel Marcel. I never forget this. A lot of people forget that Marcel Marceau came to Marshall University in the 2000s. Marshall University. Marcel Marcelle Marceau came to Marshall in the 2000s. With Mark Robere.

With Mark Robere while I was a student there. And before or after he performed a show at the Keith Halby, he came to the Marshall University Third Department and did a master class for us. And so I don't think, I think to say I've been trained by Marcel Marceau gives me some leg to say on here. And I can say clowning is so much more than a nose. It's an attitude. I wasn't he a mime? Mimes is clowns, dude. Mimes is clowns, dude.

Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's all part of comedy del art time. You know, Justin, I also had a master class at the University of Oklahoma from Larry Drake, aka Dr. Giggles and the guy with the sash in that one episode. of Firefly and he was asked if he prefers

doing drama or comedy and he said drama is like but comedy is like hey and I'll never forget that I think I just learned a lot by the transit of property that's awesome damn that's good

yeah so I think I also know a lot about comedy I think you're assuming a lot that you will be asked to apply clown makeup and a nose and do clown stuff, because that does not sound like the concept of this retreat. It sounds like you'll do a deep soul searching to find what clowning means to you.

When someone introduces the word retreat into the formula for me, it does imply a level of getting in touch with myself in a way that I'm like, oh, no, thank you. If it was a clown class that lasted three days at a thing, yeah, 100%. A retreat? I think that it could help you maybe.

Maybe the angle is like find the vulnerability in yourself. Isn't that clowning? Isn't that clowning you get down deep? You find the things that you're embarrassed of. Then you just like put them out, just beg people to laugh at them for your own humiliation. I think I've lost the plot a little bit. You understand.

Earlier on in the sentence, I think we could all remember the house out days. You had some great points in the first like two thirds of that sentence. Absolutely. Those were the days. I have a running analysis in my head of handsome guy funny, like stars, where it's like, where they go into movies and it's like, I've been handsome for a while, but now I want to do funny movies. Okay. And there are some who are so good at being like, I don't need to be cool.

I think John Cena's great at this where John Cena is willing to look stupid and be the butt of a joke in so many things. He'll tear his chest open and show you his heart and everything inside. He has no problem looking like an idiot. There are some other ones where even when they're supposed to look like an idiot, they're cool and it doesn't work. So I like, I do like, if I could go to a clown retreat

that would T-Tree to finally just let- Stop being so handsome all the time. Stop being so handsome and cool. Just let myself be a bit of a fool from time to time. That might be very useful for me. I, what if you love it too much and you can't turn the clown off. Oh, maybe, is that what your girlfriend's afraid of?

What if you can't turn the clown off? Maybe you find the clown and you awaken the clown and you're all of a sudden, you're the disguise. Yeah, like Bruce Wayne to Batman, where he's, he is Batman. He is Latin, for real. When he was born, I'm a laugh man. He was born, Batman.

And then when he was like 12, he made some money at a lemonade stand and he came inside with a suit. And he's like, I'm go by Bruce. I'm go by. Bruce now. That's not exactly what I meant, but yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what happened.

His parents got killed in the alley. They were like, help us Batman. And he's like, I can't. I'm Bruce now. I'm Bruce now. Bruce can't fight. I wanted to take on an identity that would strike fear in the heart of no one. Murderer, will you spare my parents for this many dollars?

I do like the idea because the company put the option in the newsletter. but you take it and then they're like, oh, we didn't think. Test. Absolutely. Yeah. And it's not, clowning's not bad,

but they don't, it's not useful for your job. It's not part of your job. No, there are plenty of, like, I know people who do corporate improv workshops and Shakespeare workshops and stuff,

it's about getting in touch. It's the retreat aspect of it that if you get there, here's the problem with a retreat. You get there day one. You've been there 10 minutes and the vibe is off. for you and you're like oh this isn't what I signed up for

you can't leave yeah you're in prison you're in clown prison you're stuck in a clown car with a bunch of other clowns but you don't want to be a clown you're just dave you know what I mean it's Dave you thought it would be funny to use this corporate money to go to clown retreat but then you're there it is funny I'll say this no it's funny of course it's funny yeah I mean it's clowns funny it's funny in hindsight you have to live through it you have to experience it with your human body and mind and then after that it will be

but you do have to endure the initial thing, I think. Pain is funny leaving the body. Why? I don't think your bosses want you to take the lessons of these retreat. Like an improv retreat or clowning retreat, your bosses don't actually want you to bring that energy back to the office, right? If your boss is like, Justin, you did a bad job on your reports, and you looked at him and you're like, yes, and?

You know what I mean? He doesn't want that. He wants actually for you to just do. do a better job at your thing. He doesn't want you to reach up and go, he wants you to do better at the reports. They want you to bring the energy of someone who got a clown retreat paid for them, and now they feel special.

That's right. They're going to work a little harder. And they're working harder because they got away with something. They don't want clown technique to come back into the office. They want the clown energy, clown satisfaction. Clown mentality. Clown work ethic. There you go.

Clown grind. What? Willingness to be humiliation. humiliated. Come back as the Joker. Oh, shit. Yeah. You don't get to choose on Pennywise.

Oh, no. Oh, no. It was the wrong retreat. Thanks for the retreat, boss. I'm going to go eat a kid. Oh, man. No. Bad news.

Your HR director is Pennywise. Over the past month, I've been going to physio for a shoulder and neck issue. during one of the first sessions, I was asked to use a grip strength tester where I pulled the highest LBs the clinic has ever seen. Since then, some of the staff at the clinic have been calling me Mr. Grips, Grippy, Gripster.

I'm not sure how I feel about the new names. Do I curb them or let them slide? And that's from Grip Strength GRIPE in Canada. Shouldn't they let you leave? Yeah, what are you doing that? If you're doing physical fitness, And they're like, here's the grip machine. And they're like, fuck, shouldn't you be in charge?

Shouldn't they have to start gripping it? Once they passed the grip machine, they then handed them a big mallet and said, now hit this paddle. And if you can ring the bell, you get to go. And that's where it failed. You know what I mean? Do you think as a physical therapist, there's a moment where you get them to the point where they're like probably as good as they used to be. but do you think sometimes you're like damn I think this guy's really

good potential like if I keep physical therapying them I think they could become a professional athlete like there's a ceiling here that I can get them back past you know what I mean? You never know when to stop the therapy that's probably only like one in a hundred times

you know it's probably pretty rare I agree yeah I agree all I'm saying is that if I did a grip string test If I did any test at a place and they said I did the best anyone ever, that's going to become at least 20 to 30 percent of my personality from now. Travis, that was maybe the least surprising sentence that's ever been ordered on the program. I could have written it with my blood. I mean, I, yeah, man.

Then will it surprise you to know, Justin, when I found out two and a half years ago, the grip strength testers existed, I immediately bought one. He did. I remember that because you made us all do it. And mine was bad. Mine was really, really bad. Mine was very good. Yeah. I have grip muscles built into my hands.

You see those muscles? Look at those grippers. God damn, dude. Do you see those muscles next to my thumb? That's crazy, dude. Griffin got 17 rubber bands. Not even double-looped. 17 rubber bands.

That was his grip strength rating. Pretty good, I thought. Yeah, it goes up to like 6,000. Like Travis is doing like 6,000. He's got like watermelon crushing power. Well, I'm out here because inevitably one of you will slip and slide off a cliff and I'll dive and catch you by the wrist and I want to be able to hold you because I love you. Yeah, but what if you're the one that falls off and we can't pull you up?

Why haven't you guys been working harder? We're like, you got to let us go, Trave. You got to let us go. You're too heavy. And you're like, I can't, man. My gripper is too powerful. I have been dealing with this in my left hand because I've been recovering from carpal toll surgery.

And I'm, you know, I'm a few months in now. And I am now starting to get to the point where like, is this as good as it was? Was it better than this? I don't remember it being better or worse. I don't remember how good it was before. So I'm kind of like trying to feel that out. Like, yeah, I think it could be a little bit more movie. Yeah, all right.

This is, every time I watch a show where they do some kind of like, we're doing a challenge, right? And it's like, we took our biometric measurements before and after. I, that's the part I most envy. The idea of I'm about to do something for a week and someone's going to tell me the measure of change of like, yeah, this improved, this went down. And I can perfectly like figure out. a sequence of events where it's like, yeah, every week he's just getting stronger and stronger. Travis, I must have more data about Travis. There must be more I can know about myself. So many numbers are slipping away from me. I had the thought for the first time, like a couple

days ago that people who like go to the gym to lift weights to get stronger, they probably have a moment pre-frequently where they lift a new heaviest weight. And I had the thought of like, that's probably cool. That probably feels pretty cool. No, I can do 300 now. I don't know. how, if that's good or bad or like, I mean, it depends on what exercise you're doing. But like, if you're like 300, you're not nailing it. A measurement, I would say also.

But like, if you couldn't do 300 before and then you practiced and you worked hard and you ate like a bunch of cod or whatever, and then the next day you could do 300, you'd probably be like fucking stoked because your score. It's funny. Griffin, I was thinking about something similar to that.

If I, I was thinking about how if you were to practice at like, um, say chess and then you played chess. and then your score at chess improved, you would probably have a positive feeling you derived from that. Or like if you started playing an instrument and you found a really challenging piece of music

that you weren't able to play, but then you practiced and you got better at the notes. I feel you guys are making fun. You guys are talking in a tone that sounds like you making fun. No, Travis, that's a similar experience to what Griffin out on. But like, of course, if you did chess and you got better at chess and your ELO went up, that'd be cool. And if you could play a musical piece, that would be cool.

I'm talking about lifting a big... Or like if you started running and you kept track of the time, it took you to, like, run a mile. Yeah, and then you saw that time go down. Or if you tried to cook a meal and you couldn't, and then you studied cooking for a year, and then at the end of that year, you cooked that same meal again.

No, that's different. This is your body. Or like if you didn't know how to read, right? So then you started learning to read, and then you knew how to read. That would probably feel pretty good. you guys are making fun of me for fucking sure dude i don't think so i don't think i am travel travel were you because i wasn't i don't think i was i was just trying to back up griffin's points with other

i don't know how much i can pick up i don't know how much i can pick up i know that if someone asked me to move a couch and they're going to help i can usually do it but that's not that doesn't translate to a number if i had i disagree griff because i think you're picking up what being traver laying down really well i just don't want to get squatted let's go to the money zone I just don't want to get, I don't lift weights because I don't want to get squished. Non-sexual. Smalls is the best cat food I've ever purchased. And friends, I've bought them all, but my cats are wild for this stuff.

I've got the timing down perfect. The smalls show up right when I need it. There is a, honestly, there is a bag of treats that comes with my smalls every time I get a shipment. And if I didn't have it, I couldn't get the cats out of the girl's bedroom at night. No, I've seen this work. It's incredible. I've seen it in action. It's like you have a remote control cat.

It's crazy. Yeah. It's wild. It's because they go crazy for this food. The same thing happens when I tear up in a package of smalls. They go wild for it. It's preservative free. Human grade ingredients.

It's good natural stuff you find in your fridge. Does it ever happen if you open a package that just sounds like a package of smalls and they run in the room and then they're really angry that it's not smalls? Yes, 100% of the time, Travis. In fact, you might say that if we open the fridge, sometimes the cat will leap onto Sidney's shoulder like some sort of demented furry parrot just trying to get some smalls. They're wild for this stuff and your cats will be too.

You're making it sound like a problem. I'll just say feedback on the ad. You're making it sound like your cats are like smalls junkies. They are. They love small. But in a good way. They love small. Okay.

I'm saying it sounds like your cat has a problem too much. My cat has a problem because it's mean. That's not small. This is fault. It's a cruel creature. Do you understand like it's not the emotions of the cat? Which one's your favorite? One of Justin's cats is famously

meaner than you one. Sydney has two cats. I have a litter box. Stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of process shortcuts for a limited time because you're a babim-bam listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to

smalls.com slash my brother. That's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. I have Jasmine in my home and what I've learned about Jasmine is basically she's the type of cat that is just the world's clumsiest and least effective assassin where she'll see me going into a room. She'll run ahead of me, hide behind the couch and then dive out at me and boot my leg and then run back behind and I imagine laugh at her success. Just a funny kitty story for you guys. That was chilling, bud.

Yeah, man. You don't want to hear about my kitty? We don't usually tell funny kids. We just listen to a kitty story from Justin. Justin's was a paid kitty story. They had to pay me to tell a kiddie story. You know what? They also didn't like this at the content house when I was telling them about my pets at home.

And I think every time I use the word pets, they got really upset. Yeah, they don't even understand the idea. How can a man own a goose? What is a man to a goose? What is a man to a goose? Oh, yeah, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Haunted doll watch. You know, there's a lot going on in the world of haunted items.

And I have, yeah, I have five. My summer wean is really coming. Yeah, it's summer wean time. I have five I'm going to share with you guys because they're all the worst. And I wanted to show them to you guys to see which ones you all think is the worst. Jus, are you still watching from? I heard they got haunted doll monsters now. Yeah, man, they've got everything on From.

And of course, I'm still watching From. I remember a time where Justin said, there apparently is a show that exists called From. I keep seeing clips from it. And I have no goddamn idea what any of them mean. Hey, Juice, this one sucks, man. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, these all, hey, this week, they all suck.

Haunted Doll Vessel Young, Sealy, Court, White, Light, Witch, Faye, Spirit. It's giving Colescola Mary Todd a little bit. Just like in the complexion, I guess. Does she have just a handful of loose icing? What is that? So let's see here. That's a good, man, Tras is a really good question.

A lot of people don't have that level of. Oh, my. That is a unicorn brooch. It's the head of a unicorn. She's threatening that other unicorn with. It's the head of a unicorn. She's holding the head of a unicorn, I think, is what we're dealing with. It's Pippi Longstockings.

And she's coming into your world. Lydia is not a witch practicing white magic. She is white light magic in phase four. She's connected to happiness, purity, emotional healing, self-worth, emotional encouragement, and light abundance. There's something about that that sounds like the head of a PTA board saying to a parent, the parent is like, I don't think you understand, like, Miller. Elementary Spirit and they're like, I don't understand Miller Elementary Spirit. I am Miller Elementary Spirit in human form. This girl was not fully ready for the human world yet. Not because she's weak. Because she is unbelievably innocent, naive, which means she has not fully harnessed her

authority. She does not naturally recognize manipulation yet. She assumes everyone is emotionally sincere. She believes everything will work out. Perfectly perfect because that's her nature. Must be nice. Isn't that true of every baby born though? That is pretty much a baby experience. Are there babies that come into the world jaded? This is the next part that I can't stop thinking about. For the next three months, Lydia has had full reign of my home, my divination room, which I guess is not in the home, my spirit collection, which I guess she doesn't keep in the divination room. I got a lot of sheds. The rituals, which I guess is in yet another outbuilding. And then the spirit community, work, which must happen at yet a tertiary location.

It's more of a compound. Yeah, it's really, yeah, it's a, I got a bunch of buses that I buried underground and linked with tunnels. Yeah, this is my she shed, and that's my sea shed where I see things. That's my D shed, where the demons. She has approached all of it with emotional confidence of a glitter covered four-year-old with absolutely zero survival instincts. Then don't give her free reign.

Yeah, that's crazy. I had one of those, a glitter-covered four-year-old, with no survival instincts, and I wasn't like everything, let me open all the drawers and cabinets for you. I can't imagine setting my five-year-old loose in a divination room. No way, man. Yeah. She even got this way.

She tried to rehabilitate a lilith succubis. What? Yeah, she calls them sparkle resets. She says you breathe and shine. A little succubis? Yeah, this is what Lydia said to her lilith succubus. Oh, girl, you got a lot going on. You never going to get the right boyfriend with that look.

You need positive affirmations and self-respect. Meanwhile, this ancient seductive succubus energy and Lydia is talking to her like a tiny emotionally supportive pageant coach. So you guys think I'm just kind of like loosening it right now, but I'm going to scroll down a little bit. Just you can see, I want to scroll past the sexy succubus. The fucking row of succubes. This is legitimately. Oh, my God.

This is the script of this person who has like outlined this, this exchange that this ghost had with a different ghost she has living in her house. Wait, scroll back up because. Sure, Tram. Lydia's a toxic friend. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like, Lydia truly sees good in everything. Dark spirit, maybe he's just sad.

Manipulation? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Chaos. Maybe everybody just needs a hug. Hey, Lydia, I'm trying to complain about this guy. And I just need you to validate my feelings. Yeah. Please.

Sparkle reset is also the most menacing. Yeah. Brainwashing. She is. That's the thing. Give you a clockwork orange. Clockwork pink. You get a sparkle reset.

She sees sadness, anger, bitterment, and things, oh, no, somebody forgot to be happy. And it's like, hey, Lydia, depression exists. Some of us are, we're working through some shit. I'm giving you guys some extra ones to read here. She celebrates every tiny manifestation like they just want. a spiritual Olympics. That's what they call, that's, that is what they called

the church camp that I went to. This is, honestly, I, y'all, it, I can't. Oh, God. It keeps going. This is a whole pilot. Yeah, it's, it's a whole, she's got a season two arc.

Yeah, it's a whole universe. So we're not gonna deal with that anymore. One of the things I really like here, and listen, I wouldn't call myself an expert in Fay mythology, but I did say that about them, a rarely seen young, Sealy court, Faye.

There's no such Like, they've been alive for, like, they're eternal. I don't think they're a young Faye. Anyways. By popular demand, we have another succubus summoned by my very spiritual friend who is experienced with conjuring and binding

And we curated this vessel especially for her. Recy Rob brought this one to us. Nasty Dave brings you these ones. I'm just realizing I didn't read the text of this one before I brought it. I just thought the picture was supposed. the picture so much. See the lights.

I wanted to see how you guys react and only Griffin gave me what I create. We would have to blur this to post it on our Instagram, Justin. Even that would be. It's just a doll, you pervert. Get your head out of gutter.

It's not just a doll, Justin. Because I would say there's some aftermarket additions. There's some mods. Some biomod. I haven't looked at the picture very closely, but Hachimarch.

Okay. Yeah, there are nipples. Someone drew nipples on it. Sorry. Let's see here. Is a lustful succubus spirit, if you feel a stirring

and are drawn to her pictures, perhaps you're already... Go to jail. You're in jail now. Go to jail. Perhaps you are already connecting with her and could fulfill her desires and fantasies. She will come to you in vivid dreams, but she can manifest as a shadow

figure if she gains enough strength. And I'm sorry, I'm paying $205. Sorry, just to be clear. For this shadow figure? For this? For this, I'm paying 205? I also, once again,

don't know much about mythology, but I'm pretty sure the deal is that a succubis is looking for someone to fulfill their desires. Right. I'm pretty sure that's not how the exchange works. So this says, not a toy.

Her vessel's top is removable, revealing an anatomically correct chest underneath. She also has a see-through lace skirt with small white. I'm not going to say that word underneath. It also explicitly says, this is not a toy, then that line, and then per eBay policy, you're purchasing a tangible item, a toy. That was gross. Let's see.

Hey, the new toy story looks weird as fuck, by the way. See these stills? Ooh. Oh, this is too bad. Yep, they finally got into us. They got haunted doll mystery box. You don't know what a haunted thing you're going to get with this $80 tree. And look at that totally real hand-drawn art display.

Yeah, totally. Definitely, definitely. Yeah, totally. Yeah, step in the enchanting world of the supernatural with this haunted doll mystery box. Inside you'll find one haunted doll, rumored to carry the presence of friendly, fun, wholesome, and positive spirits.

We're outsourcing our hauntings to other countries that we're importing them in bulk. This is terrible. So imagine being a haunted doll and being told like, yeah, you're... You're going to be in a blind box. What? What do you mean?

Yeah, no one wanted you. When people knew you, they did not want you. The only way we can get you in their hands is to sort of do you up, gotcha style. If you have enough haunted dolls to start a haunted doll blind box company, I don't think you get to throw the word rumored in there. Like, did you just buy dolls in bulk and you're like, one of these bad boys? You've lost context. Are they rumored? Are you verifying every one of these guys?

is haunted as fuck. Some people say. I'm buying an $80 box. I would not do this because this is definitely how they get rid of the dolls that are too haunted. The dolls that are like, this one will make spikes come out of your fucking balls and they'll stab you in the head while you're asleep. This is a dark, dark, dark demon.

And no one goes for that. They're going to show up inside the blind box. It's also irritating from somebody that just like, I'd like to maintain canon within haunted doll watch. I like to maintain, you know, cafe. and I feel like every practitioner of these arts tell you how important it is to find the spirit that sort of works with you

and like make sense for you and not like fucking fired out of a t-shirt cannon just whatever random think about this even in a world where you believe these are haunted what these people are saying is we'll box up a random fucking soul and send it to your house like yeah you wouldn't do that with DoorDash right

You wouldn't say like, hey, I need a friend. Will you come over and hang out with me? Fucking anybody in the world. Doesn't matter. Just come on over. I wouldn't do that with, I'm hungry. Just bring whatever food you find lying around. Whatever you're near, whatever restaurant is around.

At this point, you're not an eBay vendor. I do think you qualify as a necromancer once you start sort of slinging around randomized haunted dolls in this manner. Sad. Two quick ones. This is a pallet cleanser. We don't even have to talk about this haunted doll. Are there visible nipples on this pallet clear? No, I wanted to step you guys down.

We're going to go out in the chill-out team real quick with POS with Leo or Rangbush's prankster. See, I knew you like Leo. God damn, inflation has absolutely savaged the haunted doll market. Yeah, you would think. It would be. Yeah. You would think. They have 2,015 transactions 100% positive.

Yeah. Wow. They're throwing heat, man. I can kind of trust it now. With his ability, I'm sorry, Leo is amazing. Did you read the title,

Justin? The title's great. Thank you. Haunted doll, active spirit, positive Leo, rambunctious prankster. And you watch listening at home,

just sort of imagine, like a cat's from cat, like a human cat. Yeah, skimble shanks type. Imagine a skimble shanks, but scary, like even scarier. Rambunctious prankster

does sound like a euphemism that a parent uses for their, horrible child to try to get them into the fancy daycare and down. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, he's a rambunctious, prankster. Yeah. Timmy just pushed my kid in the river. Yeah, he's a, he is rambunctious like that.

This is good. I accept items that are considered seriously haunted. If it's haunted and it feels like it could be too dangerous for you or the people you love, contact me and we'll see about getting it out of your hands. No questions asked unless about the item itself. Well, now, that's a huge question. Some questions ask. So all questions.

I mean, you're saying you won't ask a question that I cannot reasonably ration into some reason that it would be connected to the dollar anyway. You guys want drugs? I got them. No questions asked except for which drugs you like and what and whether I have them. And how you'll be paying. And how you'll pay and what they do to your brain and body. I won't ask questions about you. Yeah.

About your personal life. I won't ask your address. Yeah. Last one, and you guys are going to look. You guys are going to go apeship for this guy. I love this guy. I might get him myself. Honestly, and I never, I never get these guys.

I never do this. Oh, God damn. So we got, oh, man. Oh, man, it's me. Haunted German, Nor vessel, child, spirit. Bennett's active, mischievous loving boy. It does, I'm going to say this, Justin. In an alternate universe.

Yes, let's tell me. in which Justin Macroy was born in Victorian England and maybe went through a scarlet fever or two. This is, that looks like two-year-old Justin McRoy. Yes, it's a beautiful boy. And he has to come with my own entertainment. I have a copy of The Bear and the Fly, a story by Polo Winter,

and a picture of four of the oldest kids you've ever seen in your entire life. How are those kids? How are these kids who are 40? That's crazy. These are 40-old children. Yes, a dusty ass bar. This was not at a retirement party from the business.

business we started. Look at this like photo cube that the car is sitting on. Like this is a fully staged production here for Bennett. And Bennett deserves. I'm ready, mother. I found my life. Take the picture of my hair is perfect. Bennett, you want to know about Bennett, of course.

Yeah. He found a little guy back in 2015 in an antique shop in New Orleans. The antique shop owner told me he had been sitting untouched for quite a while because people could not decide whether he looked sad, confused, or mildly offended by humanity. Personally, I thought he was mutually exclusive. Yeah. Yeah. Personally, I thought he looked like trouble.

And I like that. He made it. Made me laugh because he was a bit judgy. The second I picked him up, I swear, I heard the emotional equivalent of a sigh like he was looking at me thinking, ah, absolutely not. What is wrong with you in your day to day that you pick up a doll and you think this doll thinks I suck? And I love that. And I like that.

I love this nest level. I will read me for Phil. Read me for filth, Bennett. I'll make you love me. I love this boy. I took him home. I can fix him. I think Bennett would look great on your shelf.

Besides, what is one more man in my life telling me what to do? Oof, dof. Is that? Does it say that? It says that. I didn't write that. Oh, it goes there. I noticed the name

written beneath his wig when I got home. Shirley Navar. Naturally, my first response was, ooh, creepy. I like that. All right, dude. Fucking, we get it. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Well, it also tells me a lot that the first thing you did when you got home was take his wig off. Yeah. You got to check it for wig bugs. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

You can't bring a new haunted a vessel into your house and get wig bugs everywhere. This person is the same person that writes these incredibly long screeds, but I did want to highlight this. Oh, boy. Okay. One image repeated during my sessions with him, a fountain. Not a little garden fountain either.

A massive decorative estate fountain filled with goldfish. He was reaching in and putting them in his pocket. I said, why would you do that? And Bennett intuitively said, the toilet is basically an indoor pond if you stop. being negative for five minutes. Then after a very dramatic pause, he added, it was a scientific experiment and everyone overreacted. Apparently this is a sore spot. What was the experiment, Bennett? Pissing in the fountain. Pissing in the fountain. No, he flushed the fish down the turlet. It was a prank. You just didn't get it. It was a prank and an experiment and the fact

that you don't understand it. I was trying to start a family vlog channel and it was 1823 so like Bennett wouldn't even know what to do with Vee. Yeah, because this continues for quite some time, actually. And it is just a long history of this small German ghost bullying this woman into submission. I don't blame her for wanting to get rid of Bennett. He seems like a real dingleberry. Yeah. Wait, what's it say at the bottom?

The entertainment purposes only. Oh, no. Okay. I do, I guess legally, you're right, Griffin. eBay rules. I need to inform you that this is for entertainment purposes. purposes only and you're buying a tangible item. I'm not responsible for the behaviors you may experience,

but you can't say, I didn't warn you. You should say that part before the other part. Like, you should totally break the story at the end. Don't break it in the middle. For the eBay items, it's like, pay me $100 and I'll have a witch cast a spell that makes your dick bigger. What do they say at the bottom of those? What kind of...

What you do, you get a little scroll, like in Wizard of Oz, you know, where he handed him the thing that said he had, like, a great brain or whatever. Yeah. And it's just a tiny scroll that says like better dick. You know, it's like a little, it's like read this out loud maybe or not. I don't know the exact mechanism of it. I've never had to order one.

I just order a harem of virtual succuby that live in my home. I did see it scroll by quick there that Shirley Navar was a previous doll owner that apparently Andy style. wrote her name on the boy's head on his wig. Yeah. What if that's how Andy had marked Woody? Woody just had a neck tattoo that said Andy on it. And these are my nipples he drew on.

You are a toy. And these are my... You are a tangible item! Why don't they have one? These are my anatomically correct nipples. They should have a haunted doll character in the movies where it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. It's like...

She comes to life, but she's like, I'm alive all the time. And the life that she has is different. It's from ours. It's not like ours, how, like, we kind of spark her with fun and joy. I hear you talking, Woody. Do you hear how she does that partner? The way she sounds and times freaks me out. You hear partner how I'm usually talking about toy stuff,

but he's over there talking about, like, you have weird balls. Get them out. Let me see. Like, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's called My Brother, My Brother, Me. Even after all these years, we stuck with it. Remember it. We got new merchandise for you.

This is your last chance, actually. Your last crack at our May merch. We got Count Donup Cape Vault sticker by Nate Freeberg. You can make any vault into a Cape Vault. And don't talk to me until I've had my podcast mug and an I like all butts and no government mug with a digital cross-stitch pattern of that as well. So a lot of great stuff in there. Also, I wanted to just give a shout out, let y'all know. Our dad is going to be in 1776 at the Keith Alibi coming up this summer.

I'm sure we'll talk about it more, but like, I don't know how you feel about America now or even America then. But our dad's turning around by then. Yeah, who knows. Who knows? I want to say thanks to Montaigne, producer of Team Song. My Life is Better With You. Just listen to that Montaigne up of Off Menu. So delightful, so entertaining.

I have to say this important announcement. I'm so sorry. But Monday, June 1st, at around 8.15, we're doing the brush ceremony. Oh, shit. Yeah. So if you want to have your name read there, please head on over to maximum fund.org forward slash join any new supporters through 1159 p.m. Eastern on May 31st. And you will have your name read into the brush that increases desires.

Also worth noting, we are moving. Clubhouse back a week to accommodate Griffin traveling. And we're having a guest on our French JD. So that'll be June 2nd that we're doing Clubhouse. This week is going to be a game stream with me and Justin. Perfect. I have an Accetron Tension headache bottle that I could throw. It's got a couple pills left.

It might make a good noise. I got like 10 pins. Okay. I have like 10 markers. Yeah. It's already got those in his hands. So I'd actually love him to throw all 10 of them. Yeah.

It'll be a cool sound, I bet. Yeah, it'll be a good sound and a big mess for you to clean up after. I like that. Because it won't be funny because we will be gone and he'll be doing it by himself. Three, two, one. Oh, that was good. That was like a firework. That was great.

My name is Justice McRoy. I'm Griffin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. This has been my brother. My brother, he kissed her dad square on the lips. Maximum Fun. A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.