My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 827: Advanced Jesus Studies for Men

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

Don't close the door on us, we have exactly what you need! We've got pre-discussed hand gestures, oddly specific online courses, breakfast shakes no one wanted, and an abundance of TV show pitches. How many? One, two, three, four, five . . . seventy-six. You need seventy-six of them, right? Suggested talking points: Point Down if the Devil is Coming, Poppin' on the 'Cock, Grocery Store Guidance, Justin's Blackmail Jar, This Really Munches My Squad Native Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinmbmbam

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello, everybody. and welcome to my brother, my brother,

and main advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? I'm your minnose brother, Travis Big Dog Wolfo of Vroom, the heater, old winning meekree. What's up, Trav Nation, speaking, your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30 media, luminary, Griffin,

Mickeyery. I don't know, Trave did it that way. I thought it would be fun to try something. I have a sore on my tongue, because I bit my tongue too hard, Griffin. Oh, now it feels like you're making fun. Just see you, babe. Just see a baby.

Babe, and chomped accidentally on your tongue? No, I had a witty retort for the king, but I knew that if I were to say it, I would end up in the stops. You would make you as jester. Can I tell you? I'd be an amazing jester. I've thought about this.

Everybody wants to pretend like, oh, if I travel back at time, I'd be a powerful night. I'd use my knowledge of phones to like, no, man. No, my whole deal, Jester. I just want to appease the rich. That's it. That's all I want. Oh, yeah.

Speak truth to power, empower to truth. Absolutely. U.S.A. Huh. U.S. A. Okay.

I know. It's a pretty surprising twist, but I want to let you guys know that I, and I'm not supposed to talk about it because we're saving it for NBC, or like we're streaming it later, but I won the Patriot games. Okay.

Say that again without laughing? I won the Patriot games. What is this mean? I won President Trump's incredible Patriot game. That's awesome. I won them. I'm not supposed to talk. about it, but I beat some of America's strongest teens,

some of America's most Bible-based teens. I went in there, and I cleaned their clocks. I dodged the balls. I josted better than any of them. Okay. And I won the Patriot Games. I won $250,000 in scholarships. Of taxpayer money, I hope.

And it's impossible to tell. I mean, it's all, it all comes out of a wash. I'm sure it's a philanthropy thing where President Trump. is giving away his own money as he is like to do. Justin, I normally love to play along on your goofs, but I know you're making up the Patriot games because that's the name of a movie.

Yeah, they can't actually use that. Yeah, that's the name of a movie, you silly goose. This is the Freedom 250 Patriot Games celebrating... Still doing that, huh? This great land of ours. I mean, it's, listen, it's our 250th birth year. I guess so. Oh, this is like when I have a birthday week.

You know, and everybody has to be nice to me all week. I did meet Chase Boggs, who's the dad of the West Virginia's representative. I, of course, couldn't go from West Virginia. That would have been too obvious. I was Skip Riggins from Colorado. I'm a 17-year-old from Colorado State High School Christian University. Can you give me the voice? Can you give me the voice of Skip?

I know you didn't use the voice you have now. President Trump, I'm so grateful to be here with you today. Thank you for having me. At your incredible games, I'm glad I could win them for you, buddy. Without thinking or pausing, I'll count of three. What city in Colorado is it from? One, two, three. London.

That's crazy, man. Can I tell you, that was the best choice because I saw a look in Griffin's eyes where he wanted to confidently say there is no London, Colorado, but he simply could not. Dude, if I've learned anything from my 39 years on this earth, Is there a city name for everything in every state, basically? A lot of Paris. There's like a butt crack Utah, Kentucky, New York. They got everything.

They got everything. Now, Jesse, can I tell you, you know I support. Can I just go ahead and finish the thought that I began before you to just decided to? Thank you. We interrupted so deeply. Yeah. I know. So I met Chase Boggs, the father of West Virginia's representative.

It's funny, he was actually interviewed by the Washington Post. Cool. And even though his kid got eliminated, he still came for the finale to cheer me on, I guess. And he told the Washington Post, quote, this is going to be a Trump rally. Why did he go? Because we all love Trump. Okay, man, I thought for a minute. Why would not want to be at this once in a lifetime thing?

You had me in the first half, because I thought maybe there's a chance that Chase Boggs was like, man, this whole thing is just going to be a big fucking Trump. And it just occurred to him? It is used to me. something, the Patriot games. That's what was hard for me is I go there because I think it's about an athletic competition and 250K for the school of my dreams, right? So I'm excited about that. I get there, I'm fucking buried in Chick-fil-A rappers.

Yeah. And a bunch of keynote tape and a bunch of Bible verses written all over it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just trying to joust. I'm just trying to joust. You're there for the love of the sport. You're there for the love of the sport necessarily the love of the country.

And the love of the country. Oh, okay. Again, it's a huge opportunity to represent Colorado. Yeah. And America, if I could be the strongest team from Colorado,

can you imagine? I'd put that right up next to my R. Heart Media Award. You know, that's massive. I didn't want to talk about that because I, frankly,

you know I love you and I support all of the shenan against you. You weren't there. You weren't there. You weren't there. You weren't there. I didn't post it on Facebook.

First of all, you didn't tell me about it. I wasn't allowed to because we're streaming it on the cock. I kept seeing posts from Skip Wriggan. Peacock, I said, don't make that face. The cock. The cock. We can call him that. We can't use to call him that.

We no longer have an ongoing deal with it. We most certainly can. Don't let the option expire if you don't want the bad ones. It's simply unfair for you to compete against these teens. Because I think you, with your 45 years of life, are in some. such a better position to beat these teens at physical sports. I mean, you've had 45 years to turn yourself into a living machine capable of achieving physical goals that these, frankly, youngsters couldn't even imagine.

Couldn't conceive. Well, and it's to will, too, Travis. I've had 40 years to sit in ice baths to hone my will till it's an iron, an iron edge. You know, like I could, I, there's, there's no force on earth that could resist this sheer force of will, which I think that is why my, I called my, when I went up to the stage and they, Trump was like, here's your prize, buddy? Awesome, dude. And I took it from him. And I was like, this is a triumph over God and President Trump. Yeah.

I've defied all of their will. I'm a 45 year old man. Yeah. And then I left. And a gasparing out. Yeah. Wait till you see it on the cock. It's episode four.

I guess they did like four. Episode four Patriot games. Thursday nights. It's popping on the cock. Wait, sorry. Popping on the cock. Four, episode four is when they announced the winner? How many episodes are there?

Nine. There's nine episodes. The following five episodes are an investigation into how a 45-year-old man pretending to be Skibbrigan from Colorado was able to get into the games. Yeah. Episode five is, What happened to the real team participant from Colorado?

They really dive in on that all five. F9 is the reunion hosted by Andy Codd. It will be a very, a very scintillating reunion, I think, when they all find out I'm a 45-year-old man and don't actually know any of the Bible verses I referenced throughout our time together. Justin, can you tell us, just at episode night, in and of the recap, the reunion, they always announce it, who's going to be the next patriot?

looking for at all these sexy singles looking to be the next married patriot this is a different group of people by the way not the teens this is a different group of people that they had on the side dating but like this is how JD Vance got to be vice president

true because he won the Patriot games I want to say 246 yeah right and then they announced him at the end of like and he's the next vice president right so he's the next who's gonna be the next Patriot no sorry guys they won't let me.

I could reveal exclusively that I won the Patriot games myself. Right. But they will not let me reveal the next page. Anything beyond that. It's a huge. Yeah. I've made a lot of bets.

Ah, it's Fes from that 70s show. Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Wilmer Volderama! How did I pull that? This, I don't want to make light of the current, the current

administration, and just a kind of constant psychic toll that it takes on me and everyone else. I think that is basically your job. I will point out it's basically your job. Okay, well then let me just say. You just described your job. Let me say, it is my job, I guess, to make light of this.

But let me say this. That Washington Post article you referenced, can I read the headline? It is. Patriot games open with Dodgeball, lots of MAGA caps, and even more questions. Can this dude throw one fucking sware without it being like lots of, fucking big questions left in the wake of the big picnic party, the big America picnic party featuring Flo Rida. Can they not just do one event where the Washington Post writes about it? I was like, I don't know guys, like he sucks. Obviously he sucks shit. This whole thing sucks shit,

but like pretty killer party. It's always like it happened. Lots of people were there. They all had the fucking hat going for him. And we're just curious where it all came. And what comes next? He can't just throw one fucking party. Well, Trump's a big fan of DashCon, and he's just trying to recapture that energy. He's trying to capture that mean magic. Simpler time. Congratulations to me, I guess.

I am, the 250K is actually only good at Liberty University, so I will be pursuing a major in. Seminary. Seminary and Jesus. Advanced Jesus studies for men. That's what it says here on the brochure. Yeah, sponsored by Old Spice.

Old Spice were since advanced Jesus studies for men? For men? Yeah. Oh, by the way, Boggs' son's name was Cutter. Cutter Boggs? Holy fucking shit, dude. That's awesome. That's really good.

Cutter Boggs is a victim of circumstance. Sure. Like, his name is Cutter Boggs, and he was born Cutter Boggs, and God bless him. He's going to figure it out. Hey, Cutter, there's still time, brother. Take it from us. Use this as your launch pad. The three of us, literally.

Yeah. Take it from us. There's still time, Cutter. We can offer you sanctuary. Not like in our literal home, but... Not here, Cutter. But not a physical sanctuary. There's pockets in the state where you'll be safe, Cutter.

Here, take this map. Come with us. Take this map, Cutter Balls. Take this map. And this ring. No, no, no. That's my hot dog tour map. No, no.

I've got it somewhere. This is, well, this is the map. It does say sightings of moth man, but it also has a path drawn on it that'll get you to some cool places. Wear a rhododendron upon your lapel, cutterbogs. That is how we will know you as one of ours. It feels so bad to be repeatedly just saying the name of this underage person that I guess just ended up in a bad spot. But this is not a slamming situation. Listen, no, with this name, you could be famous at anything. I feel like there would be a famous basketball player named Cutter Boggs.

Famous golf player, golf, golf, golf. Cutter Boggs? Boxing. Frankly, like some kind of like philanthropist, billionaire playboy. You're set up to launch. You are set up to launch off this event. This is wild that you've, and I'm sorry I didn't go your way, but still, you're at your might be for the best.

Might be for the definitely the best. I'll also say, it makes me nervous to elevate people in this way, but Cutter Boggs is the West Virginia representative at Trump's Patriot Games. I think the only possibility is a reverse milkshake duck. It can only go. It can only get better from here, gang. It can only be like you're delighted.

Still time, Cutter. Still time. Don't give up. Don't give up. This is an advice show. We're going to help people, not just Cutter Boggs. Goodbye. Everybody.

We won't stop until it's Travis left. Travis just fucking dip, dude. He just checked out. He could come... I had to turn down the temperature in my office. He had to turn down the temperature in his office. So warm. We have hand signals for this shit that we have worked out.

I did. I held up one minute. You did one. That's not going to turn the temperature down in my office. That's like... That's pointing up and you're like dedicating it to the Lord. We agreed on this, but you point up... It can be two things. Okay.

I may get colder for the Lord. You point down for temperature down. You do this. No, that's for the devil's coming. Oh, okay. We talked about this. The devil always coming. On the cock.

This fall, the devil comes on the cock. It's a show I'm pitching. Devil coming on the cock? You can't do that. No, no, no. Justin. It's being released by the cock. Do you understand?

We're never going to work. Again. You're never going to work again. There's thresholds and boundaries. In the devil? No. No, here on the show. In my show, so if he works with a detective,

they're not going to solve mysteries using his devil. powers. Okay. You're not going to believe the first question. My boss wants me to make and sell a show to Netflix. Awesome. I started a new job of about five months ago, a social media manager for some local restaurants and venues.

The pay isn't great, but hours are up to me. My boss has some pretty wacky request, but I'm not being told he wants me and one other co-worker to film a comedy competition of local people trying stand-up and sell it to Netflix. Fuck yes. Dude. The venue is based in a... village of 600 people. The wider region is about 50,000 people. The budget we have been given is $50,000. Give each of them a dollar. What? The budget we've been given is $50,000. That's including

the prize money. How do I approach a clearly diluted boss? Is this a test on how far he can go before someone says no? That's from apparently a TV producer. We'd all like to think that ridiculous requests our test. Yeah. It's not. No, no. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, This is a thing that this person wants. They're not going to give you $50,000. This stinks of AI to me. This stinks of the boss is like, hey, AI, I had this idea. Is it good?

And I was like, sounds good to me, boss. How much 50 Gs? Cash it. Do I have to pay it? No, you're going to. Love it. Awesome. Great.

I don't have money. Yeah, open up the disc tray. I'll print it out. I'll print out as many monies as you need. I would not watch a show about like open mic people. trying to make it. I was trying to guess how that sentence went in, knowing you as long as I have it.

I could not fathom a fucking answer. We found it. We found the one show. The one show, Travis, won't watch. Well, what I would watch is a show about trying to make a show where people do stand up in a 600-person town and you're trying to make a show out of that. Yes. You're basically wanting Nirvana, the band, the show, the documentary.

Yeah. The real life. Reality. Reality TV is ready for this, this. meta layer. We're ready to step beyond it. Knowing that Big Brother's doing like time portals and shit like that, like that's awesome. But we've also

reached the limit of what is possible with what we currently accept about reality television. What we need now is planning reality television sort of events with a budget and whatever you don't spend of the budget, that's your prize money that you get to take home as the planner.

That is the show I would absolutely watch. How are you going to get this thing together for two Gs? And then the other 48, that's your, you pocket that immediately for the emotional turmoil. How would you split? Like, you got 50. Right. You got to come up with a prize.

How would you allocate? Like, what kind of prize would you allocate? A thousand dollars seems like a lot. For a village of 600 people, I think if you... To stand up open mic night comedy and you could somehow win? First of all, I also don't know how you win open mic night. like that's a whole metric You're gonna have to work out

Judge Ometer But the only people who go to see Open Mike nights are also competing in the open mic Yeah but at this At this one you're coming to see a TV show being filmed

Oh shit It's a completely different experience They got the people with the boards That are what all you know Action Have them voted out Like Survivor Have the other comedians

I assume there will be some There will be Oh the comedians Vote off other comedians The only issue with that Is that the cream is not gonna rise to the topic I don't think of that situation trap.

Yeah. I'm not watching it for the comedy, Griffin. I'm watching it for the drama. Yeah. Can you get Christopher Guest to do that? Maybe the 50,000, maybe you set 45, 45 apart for the Christopher guest spot. No, it's not a guest spot. He's going to need to run this whole thing because he's able to find.

Oh, Christopher's special guest. He's able to, no, like Christopher producer, but that's not a fucking joke. That's like not anything. Do you understand? He's behind the show. He's making it. And he's making it. And he's finding all,

he's finding all the great stories. And introducing? I quit. I quit the show. This is it. Yeah. We all wanted to know 827, market. Time of death.

827. Oh, number of the episode. Episode 827. Sorry, he were saying. He would be in charge of making the show. No. Are you back?

Or is it just being in time? I'm here. No, I mean, I'll finish the episode out for sure. Oh, that's a... We got sponsors this week. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For the Sponcy's.

We do it for the Sponcy's for sure. He'll hang in there just as long as we have Sponcy's. I'm back. I want a 10% race. Say yes now or I'm gone again. Yeah. I'm a fickle kitty. I'm a fickle street cat.

Don't fuck around with my contract. There is one person in this whole equation I want to see a TV show about. And it's the person who thought this was a good idea. You simply need to. turn the camera on the boss for free and say, tell me about some other very good ideas that you have. And let's just follow that thread wherever it leads. Like, this person's a superstar.

I want to know what their next big idea is, and I'm on board. I just think you've got to chase the story. And the story of this documentary is, huh? Huh? Do it? Huh?

The cool thing, too, because you would be doing this on Netflix, which easy, easy to get a show on Netflix. We've done it hundreds of times. Right. Is you could end, there's no set episode length, right? So you could end each episode the moment you see realization dawn on your boss's face that what they're describing is a bad idea. Yeah. And the episode just goes till that moment hits and immediately cut to credits.

Right? Definitely huge. Yeah. Short. Tell me, and how would we do that? and like let boss keep talking and talking until they're like, heading a bit. Huh.

Now listen. Credit. We have a unique experience opportunity to offer this person, which is that we have pitched to Netflix before a couple times. I was going to say the frustrating thing about this is you could get all this right and actually get to the point where Netflix is like, we got to get you guys out to La La Land. Right. And get at a sit down.

And then you'll go into Netflix's HQ and it's the scariest god damn. place you've ever been in. They got Oscars just in the lobby. Oscar's in the lobby. Big cardboard. Big cardboard beat bugs. Fucking chilling. They just have Gemmogorgans walk by the window and wave at you to big time you.

They don't have shit. Is that the Jim Corgon? The rooms are named after more popular Netflix shows as if to remind you that they don't need you. Towering statues of Millie Bobby Brown. Towering. Towering statues of Millie Bobby Brown. Like twin colossi.

And they all say life size, which I've never seen Billy Bobby Brown in real life. I don't know how tall she is. Some people call me 11. It's cool. I'm curious about Billy Bob Bobby Brown. Oh, I see, I see, I got you now. Yeah, and then it's a very, it's a hugely scary place. Some of them are, we've put.

Pitched shows at a lot of different places. And some of them are a little less threatening. They're all different. Some are chill vibes, dude. Yeah, at Hulu they had snacks and a charger vending machine that you can get chargers out of. Uh-huh. That's cool. None of them bought the shows.

None of them bought. I said pitch, didn't I? Yeah. I said pitched. Not caught. Not sold. The cock kind of bought it. The cock, yeah, the cock let it, let it hang out upstairs to see if other situations would work out.

Yeah, sure. It was a sort of a situation ship. Yeah, yeah. How about the next question? We had a longer history with peacock than most of the people that we were in meetings with. Like, we had been at peacock longer than most of the people. Well, what company meant? We're in B.C. Boys. There's nothing we like more than being shuffled.

off by NBC. That's it. Guys, it's just my, I gotta tell you now that we're on the other end of it. It was just my launch pad to get on American Ninja Warrior. You must understand that this whole thing was just to get my foot in the door so that I can then use that foot to propel myself through obstacles. My dasher just got stopped by Jehovah's Witnesses outside my house. They saw me.

They're gonna knock on my door next and know that I'm actually home and ignoring them. What do I do? That's from pretending I'm not here. pack. This may not be the best starting point for this, but I've come to a very powerful realization, and it's a rude realization. It's out of step, I think, for the rest of my character and how I like to live my life. But if someone comes to your door and knocks on it and they can even see you, they see you inside, you got all the windows open and you're partying, you don't have to go, you don't have to answer it. Did you know this?

If someone comes to your door and they have a hat on and the hat says like, we're the tree planters deluxe or like hella magazine subscriptions, uh, incorporated. And you see that and you think, I don't actually need that. I'm not going to waste that person's time. I'm not going to waste my own time, certainly. And subject myself to an uncomfortable sort of sales pitch situation. I'm just going to keep fucking chilling. There's no, there's nothing anyone can do about that.

I had a terrible situation yesterday where one time a couple years ago, people came to the house and Sydney was the one who answered the door and they tricked her into bug treatments. And I don't know if it was a trick. I don't know if you need these bug treatments or not, but these people come every month and I don't know what they're doing. They take care of sick bugs. They take care of bugs. I got caught by this one too. Physically and emotionally. And emotional welfare for the put sick bugs.

They're there to comfort them as well. yesterday they rang the doorbell why why any bugs in there i went up yeah bugs today sir no i went up and i opened it and they were like we're here for your monthly treatment and i was like okay and they said because it's raining we're leaving it up to the customers as to what we do leave what the fuck i said what and he said well because of the rain and we don't want to make stains. And so we're just kind of leaving it up to each customer. So just want to know what you wanted us to do. I don't know what these cats do on a good day.

I don't know what they do on a sunny day. And that like... Also, why did they come then? Why did you come? Come later. Why did you call? You should... I could look like an asshole on the phone.

Could you... Is anyone going to respond to that? I want the stains. Stain me up. Tell me more. Stain me up, Scott. I said, I leave it to your good judgment. Because that's the only, that's the truth.

What would you do in my situation? I don't know. I regretted opening the door. I shouldn't have opened the door. They don't have to open the door. They're not going to smash in through the, ah, you have to let me sell you trees. Like, you don't have to, cops aren't going to come smash in.

Did you not answer the door for this guy? He saw you had solar panels, but he wanted to put solar panels on top of those solar panels. And it sucks that you didn't handle it. answer it. I think it's against the law. Let me check the law book. I have two beautiful dogs that bark when people knock at the door. And for a long time, I considered that a frustration. Oh, I wish my dogs didn't bark when someone knocks at the door. But then I realized my dog's making quite a ruckus. When someone knocks at the door gives me this like inherent like, hey person knocking at my door that I don't know. You have already inconvenienced me. And I have a, you have a,

open the door yet. They've already taken something from you. You are on the back foot. So now I can crack the door and be like, what? No, I can't, uh, and then close the door. And like, that's a gift though. That's all I can do, right? It works.

I hit him with a lot of it's dinner. I'm sorry, just kids are huge for this. It would be like, I can't, man, I just got, I'm making my kids dinner right now. I can't. Like, no one's going to be like, stop making your kids dinner. Stop making your kids dinner right this exact moment. I've also just turned around and walked inside. Well, that's ruder than not answering the door, man.

Well, this is after I tried to end like, oh, no, thank you. I'm not interested. Oh, but let me tell you more. I'm like, no. And I just walk inside. Now listen. I don't want to stymie the economy any more than I already have. Sorry, everyone for all the inflation and stuff.

Yeah, Griffin, we've been meaning to talk to you about that. I'm not the type of person that could put up a sign outside of my home that says like no solicitors or anything like that. feels like, I don't know, gross to me, I guess, classist perhaps in a way. Now, or this house protected by Smith and Wesson? That kind of thing. Well, that's obviously an enormous escalation from what I was

saying. Yeah, I'm just saying, mine is like a sign that I think normal people... You don't like signs that say, like, we don't call 911, we just shoot. Yeah. Yeah, something like that. I don't see that in Griffin's nature. If you ring this doorbell, I'm gonna fucking kill you, Michael. Yeah. Those signs

are so, man, those people really hate when people come over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a shotgun loaded, it's pointing through the mail slot, so this better be good, or else I'm gonna Kevin McAllister, your dick off. Yeah. I'll make you a real sticky bandit in your pants when I shoot your dick off with a shotgun. I have ready. It's a huge sign. It's a huge banner that waves from above your, listen, I don't want to destroy the economy. I'm not saying put out of sand that says no solicitors. What we should normalize is signs that say what you are interested in buying. Oh.

So, like, say, like, some solicitors, see below, and then below that, you're going to have other signs that say, like, I mean, candy bars always, snacks, pretty much always. If you come to my door and you're selling snacks and it's, like, for your band or whatever, yeah, like, I'll get absolutely 100% of the time. I'll put some real flyers out there, like, if you have retro video game, I don't know why you'd be going door to door with those. it's unlikely, but I'm just thinking of stuff that I want more of in my home, and it's a

pretty, it's a pretty small list. I would also accept if the pitch people had like some Harold Hill level, like they've got a whole stick and like a, you know, a suitcase full of brushes or like vacuum cleaners and they're going to do a whole lot. Like if they're

going to do a rainbow vacuum demonstration. Suitcases only then. Just like only suitcase solicit. Yeah, yeah. And if they can do it in kind of a powder song thing that really in chance me and makes me buy 76 trombones or something like oh man yeah i do yeah i want that kind of magic in my life you know the song and the music man isn't him trying to sell someone 76 trombones right you know it's not him it's not just 76 trombones it's a huge parade he's describing

110 cornetts yeah thanks can you not like come by my five dozen trumpones please a griffin now be careful dude how much is five dozen five dozen that's easy justin now listen you got in a lot of hot water on ticot recently for messing up how many five dozen is in that ticot about gaston eating eggs it's six it created a huge internet fire store five dozen is man can we talk about the comments in that one i don't know we've ever stepped in it as bad because we it was the bit where we're talking about interestingly we yeah i don't well no not me miscounting how much five dozen is five dozen is 60 obviously so this this this this This would be six and a half dozen. Six and a third dozen.

Egg, trombones. The eggs thing. We said it's weird to go through at the grocery store and you look through the cartons. And if you see one with a bad egg, can you swap it into another carton and put a good egg in there to make a dozen good eggs? We said, no, no one does that. Put it back and look for a better carton. Guys, I don't know if you've checked out the discourse in the comments of this post. host, but there's people who feel very strongly about this in both directions.

And I... What are they saying? Well, I mean, there's a lot of people, and maybe this should be the authoritative source, there's people in the comments who work at grocery stores. And they're like, yes, do it. What do you think we're going to do? Throw away 11 good eggs, like, when they expire because one is cracked in the carton. You mix them all up, and then you leave it open.

And then when someone comes by who works for the grocery store, they see an open carton with 12 broken eggs. They know this is a, this one's done. then the trash can here of eggs, we put that away. We're not just going to throw away 11 good eggs. How are they going to get sold? Okay. Yeah, but I'm not getting paid to do that.

But here's the thing is that people were pissed off at us for it for saying these things. People got mad at us? People got mad at us for saying to just put it back and make it someone else's problem. I understand now looking at it through that lens how it could seem like not the most taste full. I think we're of one mind. I think we're in a court. So this is, I guess, one of our more public service announcements, you can absolutely

swap the eggs around. The people at the grocery store like it when you do that. Yeah, I'm going to make a strong stance and say that whatever way you, the listener, feel about this, I agree with you. I would actually, if we could infringe on our listeners again, specifically our grocery store, I always wonder about this. Do you want people to bring the car? carts back or do you like going outside? Cool. Yeah, good question. You know what I mean? Like,

would you prefer if there's a bunch of carts out there so you can go out and vape? Or do you want me to bring the cart back? What's the nicer thing? What's the better part of valor, I guess? Like, because I always thought you bring it back to the cart to make it easier for the person to have to come out and get the carts. That's just like, and not hit the, and not hit other people's things, right? Yeah, yeah. But maybe like, that's a pretty good gig. Cool, chill part. If you get out, like, obviously weather permitting. Right. When I was, when I worked at PetSmart, I was like a merch manager or something.

And I was talking with, like, the manager of the store. And I was looking through, like, the supplies you can order for the store. And our parking lot didn't have a cart corral thing. And I was like, oh, we should get one of those. And he said with such confidence and assuredness, oh, people don't like that. and I that I was left speechless

there's so much stuff we don't know there's so much wonderful things we don't know that we should that we could learn about that we should know I don't know maybe this is the new farm wisdom is grocery store

guidance I would like to yeah you know I'd like to hear from our grocery store workers I don't know is there a way to know when the sprayers are about to come on

at the produce section so I don't get blasted fun of the weather it makes like rainforest thunderstorm noises before it happens. They do that at the Kroger on at the Chachah. This is a perfect example

of privilege, right? They do it at the Chachokroger so you think it's normal. Yeah. You go to West End Kroger. Yeah. They don't. No Thunder.

There's someone waiting there with a camera on the produce and a switch that will launch the pressurized water at you if you lean too far over the broccoli's. Let's take a break. Let's head over the money zone. Yeah? Yes.

Let's do it. Every time that you, You have an idea. People tell you to go get a journal and write it down. That's the popular wisdom. But I'm going to figure you something a little bit different. Cool. What if every time you had an idea, you made a Squarespace website about it?

Hi, my name is Justin McRoy, and I'm a paid endorser for Squarespace. And if you haven't made a website with Squarespace yet, it is time to see what you've been missing. Whatever thought you have, the next thought. Now, Justin, be careful with this, because I'm on this call too. Best thought. This is my new tagline, right? First thought, best thought, website. First thought, Squarespace.

Squarespace. Whatever the first thing that you think of, be it, say puff marshmallow, man, whatever it is. First thing it bumps in your head? Website. Okay, but like, what if my, like, what if my, like, idea is like Hershey's Chocolate? Hershey's Chocolate.

Well, no, I can't. Here's my idea. I'm registering Herssey. I'm going to, what? His, his, his, his, his chocolate. His, his chocolate. His, his chocolate. His, his chocolate.

His chocolate. His chocolate. His He's chocolate. For men. For men. For men. For men. For dudes.

Yeah. His He's chocolate for men. Sponsored by Old Spice. So go to Squarespace. You're going to register DudeChalk. And you're going to start designing. And it's going to be so easy because they have beautiful templates and like drag and drop technology for you to like, I don't know, make it look like you know what you're doing. Website design wise.

But really Squarespace knows what they're doing. The thing that you know how to do is to use the right thing for this. And it is Squarespace. You don't need a big fancy website. design degree, Squarespace is going to help you through every step of the process. Yeah. And they got real people to support you. If you need support, they'll support you.

They got you. They'll let you commit fraud saying you have a website design degree and you show them the website you made on Squarespace and you're like, yeah, I did all this. Squarespace says you're allowed to do that. Yep. They don't love fraud. They don't love fraud. They love fraud.

They love Squarespace.com. Did you say they love frog? They don't love that commercial man. head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. You've heard of aura farming, but have you heard of aura framing? Hi, I'm Travis McGruey, a youth. And I want to tell you about aura frames.

The best way to aura farm. It's almost there. So, God, Travis, honestly, like, at first I was like, eh, then I was like, And I'm like, ugh. There's an opportunity here, yeah. There's something. There isn't, because I didn't have anywhere to go with it, is the problem. The words looked very similar, yeah.

Yeah, I thought of aura or a farming. And then it was like after a hard day out in the fields, farming your aura, maybe you just want to rest at home in like a comfortable recliner looking at pictures of family and friends in good times as they scroll past on your aura frame. And you sip, oh, what's a cool thing to sit? Mountain Dubaha Blast. I love that my aura frame cycles through a lot of great family memories, and I find it's a really great conversation starter.

We keep in the living room, and as it goes through, we see pictures from our family's history, and people will ask us about them. It's a great opportunity to reminisce and talk about days gone by. Just don't put any nudes on there. Okay. Yeah, so aura frames is a great, we're making so many jokes. about what is essentially an amazing product.

And talking about... I was good. I wasn't making a joke. I said it's a great chance to reminisce and talk about things on bond. You did say the thing about, don't put nudes on. I assume that was edited out. I have to assume. You can't say stuff assuming it's gonna get edited out.

It's such a huge danger. Okay. Then I'll just write it down, I guess, in a little notebook. Like, what do you want me to do? You have these thoughts. They have to be expressed. Express. Justin, I don't say,

Whistramed into a jar? Make it a express this website about it? It's Justin's cancellation jar. It's Justin's blackmail jar. Crack it open in case of emergencies. These things are great. They're great gifts for people who aren't so text-abby because you can set up all the photos and stuff

before they even ship. And, you know, they're just, they're really, really good digital picture frames. I have, like, a couple of them. I don't even know how they fit all the photos in there. Yeah. another great question. Also, you can upload the photos

directly from your phone through the ORA app. And I do that all the time. We get home from taking a family trip somewhere or whatever fun thing we were doing and just immediately put them on there before you forget. Maybe the kids are being bad and you got to sneak a photo of Babaduke on there.

There's options. So check out ORAFrames named number one by wirecutter. You can save now by visiting ORAFrams.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $35 off select frames plus free shipping with code my brother. That's a u r a frames.com promo code my brother, all one word. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I want a munch. Squawed. I want to munch. I want to munch.

Munch Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. This one push, I got two. The first one's just like, the second one's like, the first one's like, can we not?

And then the second one's like, can we not? Okay. The first one, damn, I might be angry about the first. First, and now that I say it, finally, a bagel you can drink. Finally, finally, a bagel you can drink. Huh.

It's challenging. Bagel latte, and I've looked at these words long enough that I no longer remember what each of them mean. Bigel latte. This is finally a bagel you can. Finally, a bagel I can. It's what we've all been asking for. Oh, you can drink. There's a lot of italics we can.

apply to that short sentence to make it mean a bunch of different stuff. Like, finally, a bagel you can drink. Justin, with your special mouth. I've been trying for years just pushing the straw against a bagel, and it doesn't work. Yeah. Coffee and a bagel smeared with a good word. Yeah. Al-timer, yeah, for sure.

Smeared with cream cheese have long been a beloved breakfast pairing. Now, Philadelphia, the inventor of cream cheese. and the coffee experts at Ziggy's coffee are teaming up to reimagine the morning routine with a creamy new combination inspired by the iconic duo introducing the Philadelphia Everything Bagel Latte the limited time beverage

marks Philadelphia's debut into the drinks category and Ziggy's first ever savory latte. No! Now keep an open mind, Travis. I like bagels. I like coffee. I don't see...

Yeah, I like... orange juice and I like eggs. Someone was like, so we blended up the eggs and the orange juice into one drink, you sloppy bad boy. Not get in here. You could be out the door so much faster if you just slam this egg juice. Yeah.

Featuring Ziggy's fan favorite iced latte. Topped with Philadelphia hell of a thing to do to your fans. Top with Philadelphia cream cheese cold foam. Okay. And finished with everything bagel seasoning.

Okay, hold on. Oh, the texture just did a little of it, huh? Tapping out. Taping out. That's wild. Give me a bagel-flavored beverage with cream cheese icing foam on top. Like, okay, weird. I'm going to have some weird flavor associations that's going to make it probably turn

into an unpleasant slurry in my mouth. That's fine. You're going to sprinkle some fucking sesame seeds, some furukakee on top. I can't be bothered. I can't have a bunch of little guys floating around in my breakfast. beverage. That's wild, man. They're going to be so embarrassed when they remember that cream cheese is also used to make cheesecake. And you could have made a cheesecake latte. And everyone had lost their minds. Yeah. The Philadelphia, everything bagel latte is a fun way to showcase the versatility of our cream cheese while staying true to the flavor combination consumers already know and love.

Man, three letters they are doing so much. work. Yeah. Which one? It's fun. It is fun. And this is the quote from Tracy Graziani, head of away from home brand and trade marketing for Philadelphia cream cheese. Shoo!

It's a fun company. Oh, me. Why does it sound like a place that rescues lost dogs? Yeah. Me? I'm in charge of when you leave your house and see cream cheese. Yeah. Me?

My gig is, if you're not at home. and you see cream cheese? That's my ass. Yeah, Tracy Graziani. I did it. You never expect to see cream cheese. It can be off pudding. We know that.

You're like, what's it doing out here in the wild? You're going to hit it. My job is to raise the profile of outside cream cheese. Hey, everyone, there's cream cheese here. Careful, we got cream cheese right here in River City with a capital C, and that rhymes with B, and that's the answer to bagel. Hi, I've got a latte for you. Where are you going?

Come back. Don't know. You didn't get your sprinkles. Whether on a bagel, in a recipe, or now in your morning coffee, Philadelphia continues to deliver the creamy taste that makes every bite or sip really, really, Philly good. Really, feeling good. You guys had to get one, didn't you? Yeah, really, feeling good. Really good.

Happy taste really good to say. We're always looking for partnerships that let us do something we haven't done before. Made money. us. This one took us further than any of them. That's from Stacey Kane, Chief Strategic Projects and Partnerships from Ziggy Coffee. Hey, Tracy Graziani, it's Stacy Kane. Hold on to your fucking ass. I'm about to blow your goddamn mind. You ever have coffee, idiot? You ever dump, you know how you're tired of dumping a huge lump of cream cheese in your coffee every morning, Tracy? Call me back, Tracy. You have to leave a message for he's the last time.

Also, Mom said we're having dinner at eight. Don't be late. I'm not on Ambien anymore, Tracy. These are perfectly lucid thoughts, Tracy. It's 9 a.m. and it's still a good idea. Ziggis has done seasonal, we've done bold, but savory is a new territory for our drink lineup. Philadelphia was the right partner to get there because this isn't just a flavor mashup. It's built on a bagel breakfast sandwich flavor our guests already love.

Again, that's not a guarantee. of anything. I love so many favorites. She says it's a drink that earns its moment. Hmm. Huh. That is poetic.

Yeah, that's a very poetic way to say absolutely nothing. I've never sipped a beverage and then looked at the beverage and said like, you belong. You earned this. You earned my mouth. This is the real you.

I have another story, though, and this one is the one that really munches your squad. Trave, that's a beautiful way of putting it. And I thank you. Oh, you're fucking kidding me. Wait, from who? From who?

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly, boys. It fucking exactly. Now, I'm going to close this press release. It says, our chicken sandwich has arrived. Declare your allegiance. I'm not going to tell you who's done this.

You're going to have to tell me who's done this. I mean, I'm just trying to remember. I feel like most people got to handle it. Okay. Seven years after a viral, the arrogance of this. This is people have died. I have to remind people that the chicken sandwich wars did claim a life. Right.

At least one. At least one that we know of. At least one that we know of. Forget the Shattered Holmes. Seven years after a viral debate reshape the conversation around chicken sandwiches is inviting fans to officially declare their allegiance with the launch of its long-awaited new crispy chicken sandwich. Have they had chicken sandwiches before?

Yeah, this is going to be the best one, apparently. Juicy and hand-bredded, crispy chicken sandwich is also available in Deluxe, featuring lettuce and tomato, and for a limited time, Nashville Hot. Hey, if you sell one and then also launch alongside a deluxe, that is an admission of weakness from the jump. Yeah. Justin, can I make a guess? Yeah. Are you ready to make a guess? Yes, I am.

Chick-fil-A. Okay. Travis, true at Kathy, for all of his complicated positions, did invent the chicken sandwich. So I will ask you to please. I asked that they had chicken sandwiches before and you said yes. After years spent perfecting the recipe. I didn't even clock that you asked that question. I don't know what I said yes to, Travis.

Honestly, after years spent perfecting the recipe is confident its newest menu offering is the best chicken sandwich around. Now the iconic American chicken chain Or sorry, the iconic American restaurant chain Is inviting devoted chicken sandwich loyalists to put that claim to the test and declare their allegiance So they are playing in the vocabulary of war Yeah, absolutely they know what they're doing from the August 17th through the 23rd at participating locations Guests are invited to try crispy deluxe or Nashville hot chicken sandwich where they buy one get one free offer upon request So you have to say specifically

I'll have a free one, thanks. Okay. For the last seven years, chicken sandwich fans have been picking sides, and we've been behind the scenes perfecting our crispy chicken sandwich recipe. Says Betty Schmant, and this might be giving,

might be giving a little bit too much way if I say Betty Schmant, but it is Betty Schmant, CEO and president of, we know chicken sandwich loyalties run deep, but we believe one bite will win fans over. It's that good. We're confident that once you try it,

you will declare your loyalty to this new chicken sandwich lineup arrived seven years after the now infamous you good tweet sparked a feeding frenzy in fast food drive-thrus. This is a history in a press release of a tweet. And they don't even say who it's about in fast food drive-thrus across the country

and redefined how Americans talk about chicken sandwiches. The fun does it end with the first bite. Blank is inviting fans to make it official at a website where they can share an official loyalty pledge to this new chicken sandwich lineup for a chance to have an Instagram. Join the draft. Traff, their Instagram handles

will be proudly inducted into the A&W Hall of Heroes. It's A&W, huh? Slash database. A&W. Guys, the fucking root beer restaurant. Can you imagine if you're in casual conversation with some of your nearest and dearest, and the topic of chicken sandwiches comes up

and one lunatic leans forward and says best I ever had was at A&W. Oh, is that the answer? I had to the... Yes, I mentioned at the end there, and I've been saying it repeatedly. A&W, guys. Fucking A&D,

you have to go to the closed Charleston Town Center to have the best chicken sandwich in America. It's right next to a shuttered orange Julius. There's a spot. A&W? A spot betwixt, I believe, Cincinnati and Columbus where there's a combination

and W and like Long John Silver so I could go to. Yes, it's a combo A&W and like Flying J gas station. How many A and W restaurants are there? How many A or W restaurants are there? I'm going to say in the contiguous United States? In the contiguous United States. Oh, I thought you were asking your computer. I didn't know you were asking you.

No, I'm asking you guys. How many? Seventy-old. I would say 50. Nice even 50. So there's 850 these motherfuckers in America. Where? Where are they?

They're all right. Look behind you. Look behind you. Inside every abandoned mall, there's 25 A and W restaurants. That's the backrooms. The backrooms contains the A&W. The backrooms is an A&W, yeah. So if you guys go to AW Allegiance.

Nope. Dot com. Yeah. You can. You can declare, guys, go to the website, because it is like this. It's like a hand. It's like a spell allegiance.

Oh, wow. This is true. They are appropriating some iconography that feels insensitive, I'll say. Not just in the context of they are making life. Oh, my God. Of an actual war that led to human, the extinguishing of human lives.

But I don't know, man. I feel like if I saw a group of people walking down the street wearing this pen. And I couldn't read the part on the pen where it mentions chicken sandwiches. I would think this is one of them marches. This is one of them bad marches.

Here's how you declare your allegiance. Here's how you do it. You make a pledge to A&W in the comment section of our rival's Instagram page. That's what you do. You go you go. It's so thirsty. It's so

fucking thirsty, dude. And you type into their comments, A&W has got my vote. A&W is where I hanged my hat. Jesus Christ. Then you swing by your hometown A&W for buy one, get one free chicken sandwiches, August 17th to 23rd. So let me just, is there a causal link

between these two events? Do you have to, at the register of the A&W show where you hopped into the Hardy's chat and said some shit, uh, trying to get some shit going, and then they're like, awesome. Buy one chicken sandwich

and we'll give you a bonus one right now. Or if you ask for it. You'll probably just do it, right? Yeah, I think they'll let you buy a sandwich one way or the other. There is a message that you can copy to just to say, oh my God. Okay, so you copy a message and after you press a button to copy a message, you go to one of the rivals, Popeyes or Chick-Flay. Oh my God, yeah, it's right there in the website.

They got their names right there. I mean, they blurred him out, but I mean, it's the worst blur ever. It's clearly Popeyes. I'm going to go, I'm supposed to go to Chick-fil-A, and I'm going to go to their comments on their first, and I'm going to see if anybody has done this at all. Doesn't look like it. Doesn't look like it.

I'm going to be the first person. I'm going to be the first person if I'm logged into Instagram. If I'm not, there it is. Okay. Ball's in your court now. A.N.W. Put me on your wall of heroes. I await my plot it.

I'm the only one who's done it. I'm probably the most powerful person in the A&W company right now. Help me out. You'll be a general, Justin. Thank you, W. You are their chicken Caesar. This would be like C.C.'s pizza.

Putting out a new promotion where it's like... You guys still... You guys like Pizza Rat? We're doing a whole pizza rat. thing. It's a come and chew, chomp down pizza like it's 2019. Hey, salt bay. More than that, like, no, don't do this. No. It is, it is a, it is a pretty wild press release that they will just say like, seven, we're seven years late. Seven years too late. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it.

It's all right. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But Doug was on, Doug was on vacation when it happened, and he just came in, and he was like, guys, I got a great idea. We just, he really wanted to do one. So, like, just, here's a question is, what color is the dress? That's the only thing.

Yeah. And it's just one question is, we told him we would do it. So just, like, real quick, let's just like, what does David do after a dentist? He goes to basketball. Just like, yeah, like, Yanni or Laurel. You guys know what I mean?

Come on. Charlie, Charlie, bit my finger, and then he ate our Popeye's chicken tenders. Fuck. Hey, thank you so much for listening. podcast. It's my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the Modinary era, but you knew that already because I say it at the beginning. Unless you tuned in in the middle, which I don't even know

is that possible. Sometimes they catch us by surprise. Hey, coming up, October 9th of the town hall in NYC, the Besties Live on Broadway, get your tickets, bit.0.0.0.Besties on Broadway. Come see us. There will be show tunes, uh, flashy outfits. Maybe. Hey, story and song, the last TAS Balance graphic novel adaptation written by us and dad and illustrated by Carrie Peach. It's out now. Theadventurezonecom is where you can go to grab it. We're so proud of it. And I bet if you listen to Tass Balance, you're going to be real into it.

Got some new merch in the merch store. We got that stick with it, big boy card designed by Maddie Vian. And 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Native Women Lead, which revolutionizes systems and inspires innovation by investing in Native. women in business. Again, all of our merch over at macroy merch.com. Have you thrown the Frischus big boy? I haven't.

No, I haven't. I got my own, and he's like rubber, so he'll be okay if I wanted to launch. Maybe I did throw the big boy. Is there a Griffin, throw your big boy? I'll throw my big boy. It might be, I got to tell you, though, gang. I did move Baradour behind my desk. And so now the stakes could not be higher, because I've got like a 7,000 piece.

Lego joint, like right there that if I hit, that's weeks. That's weeks. Did you get that, did you get that big boy at the peddler mall? Did I get this big boy at the peddler mall? Yes. I got my big boy at the peddler mall too. Might be the same boy. Maybe we should throw something else. Did you lose your big boy, Griffin? No, I have it, but if we've already thrown a big boy, I got my college diploma. Don't. No, it's got like a case on it. Throw your big boy. Oh yeah, throw that. It's a nice size college diploma. I can throw this and try not to break Baradour. You could get some,

you could get some damage with that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'll probably throw it flat sort of frisbee style. Wait, Griffin, throw it nonchalantly over your shoulder. Towards Baradour, you're out of fucking mind. Don't look. Don't look. No look.

I'm not going to throw it over my shoulder and destroy Sorbonne's on castle. Throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier. Guys, look at all of the shit that's on my desk. Frobo would destroy it. Frobo would destroy that. Yeah, Mr. Frobo. Mr. Frobo. Fuck, this is going to suck.

hate this. I think we're good. That was so good, dude. I think that actually went so good. It almost went bad, though. That was really actually compelling TV. We should only do it this way from now on. Because the stakes are pretty high for all of us.

We all have stuff behind us that we do not want to break. This is the new shit, gang. That was good. Finally, we found a compelling end to my brother by brother of me. It only took us 827 episodes. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis Ackroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad square on the lips. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.