My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 828: *Unless I’m Pissin’ Pants

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

The spooky season creep is upon us and and to get into the spirit of it all, we’re opening our very own temporary store! We’ve got all kinds of stuff that will help with exorcisms, like shoes that turn into socks, a Lacey Chabert Mobile, and shareholder blind bags. Suggested talking points: A Cooler Executive, The Bad Boys of Mall Gifts, Looks Like a Sock, Eats Like a Shoe, Too Weak for the King Native Women Lead: https://www.nativewomenlead.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinmbmbam

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something. It's blossomed. It's rapping into a precious friendship. Never seen while skate park It feels love

Hello everybody and welcome to my brother My brother and me An advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McRoy What out Trave Nation is me Your Middust Big Duck Wolf Wolfram the Heater Award winning McRoy Good morning Tram Nation

It's me your sweet baby brother 30 under 30 media luminary Griven McElroy I am so excited guys Because I have some news We're obviously of a time of year when we start looking to find out where the Spirit Halloween is going to be in your area.

Oh yeah. Right. I want to be ready. Ours has been at the abandoned Toys or Us for the past few years, but guys, I don't know that we're going to get one in Hinton this year. It seems like we may have to go to Ashland. Oh, boy. Dude. Did you do something wrong? Do you think? Maybe you didn't... Bottom too hard,

went too frequently. Probably lingered too long without buying enough for the amount of time I spent there. You press the button on the animatronics too many times. Then they were like, you're just here for the animatronics. I was thinking more like a deficiency in your Halloween activity, almost like a hallmark movie premise, like the town that skipped Halloween. Yeah, I would use the changing rooms there even for like non-costume changing, just like my day-to-day clothes changed, like just, you know.

But it's actually where I got all my groceries too. You remember that week that I was just living off candy cigarettes and gummy eyeballs? Yeah, and you drank only fake blood. Yeah. I remember last time I stayed over actually at the house and I was like, hey, I'm going to take a shower. Do you have any towels? And you said, yes. And you opened up a closet, which was traditionally your linen closet and just a bunch of Freddie Krueger masks spilled out.

Yeah. You didn't go. You said, here you go. And you handed me a Freddie Kruger mask. And I was like, I don't, this isn't going to dry my nude form off. This is a Freddie Krueger mask. You seem confused. My relationship to Spirit is not what is the, the topic to.

major business news this week. For starters, did you guys know that Spencer Gifts owns Spirit Halloween? That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, that really clicks for me because for whatever reason, Dot has been asking a lot of questions about Spirit Halloween lately, like how it works, why it goes away. And I thought, and I was explaining to them that, like, a Halloween store being open in, like, April doesn't make any sense. But then I thought they must have like a board of CEOs. Are they employed year round? They just hibernate.

No, they have cryopods. They climb into November 1st. And then, you know, honestly, probably mid-April. They're back. They're cracking. I'm trying to figure out of time. Teresa and I got really excited when we realized a fairly big, like, department store closed about six months ago near us. And the possibility that that could become a spirit Halloween and it's very big was exciting to us.

Yeah. So this is one company, Spirit and Spencer. Now, Spencer, if you don't know, they're the bad boys of mall gifts. If you go into a Spencer gifts at the mall, you're going to see cleavage and butt cracks and farts and black light hoaxers. Yeah. Jokes about getting old. Yeah. I actually, I bet there's some new high-tech stuff, maybe holograms or what have you.

Oh, yeah. But now there's something brand new that you're going to be able to enjoy there because the, well, not buy it, Spencer. the Spencer Spirit Company has purchased Hot Topic. No way. Dude. They're all coming together.

There's an axis. There's an axis of power now. Like, this is our best shot at five. Like, I'll be like, like, as the conglomerations start to make their steampunk pivot into militarized Google, militarized Amazon, we need one corpo that we can root

for that has like the hopes of humanity pin to it. Spencer Spirit Holdings gets Hot Topic, which also is box lunch and her universe. So now Spencer Gifts, box lunch, Hot Topic. There's

one man. I doubt you who's eating good is Jack Skellent. Yeah, Matt is too. Losing it. I bet he had to get this deal in shares. They couldn't even afford to pay it. Jack Skellington and the dude from Death Note are hanging out just on their big files of money making bank yeah can i hear of bankadamia that's what i

i think do you think that somewhere there's like a council convening of like the leaders of like the emo kids and the leaders of the goth kids and the leaders of like you know the uh weeb kids and like then in comes like the spencer's gift just like dirt bag kids with like big weed leaves on their shirts and they're like i call this meeting to order And they're all just making big decisions about what's going to be in. I cast my scrying bones. And it's just a bunch of little plastic dicks. Yeah.

That's the Spencer's mysticism. If they swallow up like Hollister, fuck, man, we're in trouble. They can't. See, that's happening. Hollister's going to, the other ones can change. The Hollister kids, those are different kids, Trave. No, this is what I'm saying. If they were to ever swallow up.

If we got news that Spencer's had bought Hollister. or, yeah, I think there'd be a singularity. Yeah, yeah. The CEO said, Stephen Silverstein, said, while our operating models and the strategies catered to unique and different audiences, our core values, mission, and commitment to hating our parents. Yeah. Completely aligned.

Silver note, sorry. It said, commitment to innovation, excuse me. Commitment to fake tattoos and fish nets. Fully aligned. This transaction enhances our long-term durability, further proving. It's not a phase, mom. It prongs our reach and positions us to write the next chapter of our retail history together, which will be- fucking out of here.

It will be sins, not tragedies. That is the chapter we'll be writing together. Get this dork out of here. I need a cooler member of the executive suite. Shareholders will be excited to receive their dividends. via blind bags. So you'll find out how much you got on the day.

I chimed in with a habit you people ever heard of cutting our prices to attract a different clientele. Thank you, C-O. Brandon Yuri. Thank you for driving in. We are so happy to have you in this company. You've been such a great addition. The board recognizes Pikachu. Yes.

Yes. There, yeah, so that's a great. I'm written. I can't even say that, but I guess they're going to stay separate. No, man, for a while, this is going to be a game stop situation eventually. There will not be an electronics boutique no more. I think they're just going to combine into one, really a store with a lot of toad.

Just a toad. Just call it Tud. Just call it Tud. Just call it Tud. Yeah. How far are we from Spir? Was Gadsuk's one? Was Gadsuk's one?

Do you think there is a point at which they own enough businesses where Spirit Halloween just has to say like, listen, joking aside, I am tired of opening and closing these stores so much. We have all these other stores. We don't have to do this. It's such a pain in the ass.

Just leave it open, please. You know they have Spirit Christmas? Okay. Okay, but there's a good chunk of the year there where you're not. I mean, Easter we do up, I guess, a bit. Just do payball. But I know the year-round Christmas, stores exist.

Yeah, they can live. I don't understand how, but I know that it happens. There's a year-round Halloween store. The problem is it's Hot Topic, and they just bought them. So I don't know. I don't know where you go from there. What if Spirit Halloween becomes hidden within Hot Topic? Right?

Yeah, you'll have, like, it's all kind of pieced together throughout Hot Topic. You'll just start noticing different stuff going in leading up. This idea that maybe Spirit Halloween is more like an infeastern, that we have to drain every Halloween. So it becomes bulbous. And it's like, whoa, it's swelling throughout the store. The name comes from the fact that it haunts dead stores every year. At Halloween, Spirit Halloween haunts dead stores.

So I think it's a possession problem and it must be exercised through commerce. There was a Spirit of Halloween that was really close to our old house in Austin that used to be a furniture store that specialized in like Texas shit. So like a lot of longhorns, a lot of cow skin rugs, a lot of that big, heavy wooden furniture. I think it was called Primitives. And I never saw anyone in that store even once.

And then it became a spirit Halloween. But whenever you were in there shopping for costumes or Babadukes or whatever, you could tell. There was a lingering, there was a lingering sort of funk of Texas, large Texas, furniture just kind of in the air. You can feel that in Texas in general, a funk of large Texas furniture.

Yeah. It makes air quality terrible. This is an advice show. Yeah. So like, we're going to do that still. It would be wild to stop at this point to, like, not do that.

Like, we're still going to do that. Sorry, I had an email from Hunt a Killer that just said dead body thumbs down, solving a mystery, thumbs up. It's like, okay. guys. It's really boiling down the concept. You got it all in the subject line. I'm really impressed. That sounds like the subject line of like the act blue emails that I still get.

Good for you, Griffin. That was meant to be a complaint about the subject line of fundraising emails and less of a brag. Griffin hasn't given up. I live in an adorably small town in Tennessee and have heard rumors that we will be having a Hallmark movie based on the town that will be doing principal photography locally. I do not know the schedule or any plot details, obviously, but I desperately want to be in this movie.

What can I do to secure my part as a local weirdo in the production? I already host trivia at two spots in the town, if that helps. Yes, obviously that helps. It's from Hallmark, hopeful in the holler. Hmm. I did witness them filming a Lacey-Shobair vehicle Hallmark movie at Disney. It wasn't like a Lacey Chabere Mobile, right?

Because I've been asking them to make one of those forever. No, no, no, no, no. They stole that idea from me. No. What would that look like? What would a Lacey Chabelle look? Would it be like the Wiener Mobile, but just a big Lacey Chabere? Or it's like a mobile that spins around.

It's like the Joker Mobile, but it's her face on the front, just smashing through walls in Gotham. Oh, I saw it as a thing that calmed down babies. That would just spin over their crib. Yeah. Weirdly. big fucking V8 powered Lacey Shibair car

comes up on a baby. They are suits. That's so weird that you said that, Trave, because I actually was thinking of Lacey Shibir Mobile Alabama. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's actually confusing. But I saw them filming this, and now it's coming out, and I'm very excited. I didn't have the courage to approach the filming in any way. I had my resume, Trills World Tour,

just written out on a piece of because that's all I've got. And I tried to hand that over and they threw me. It's just a piece of paper that said trolls world tour. And they threw me into the pond in the middle of the World Showcase. So it didn't pan out. But good luck. Hmm.

I mean, can you get your sag card? That seems like a good start. Are those all union games? You might not need it. You might not need it, but it's better to have it and not. I've had my sag card for a long time and needed it a couple, like two or three times. Yeah. And so I'm speaking from experience, it's better to have it and not need it.

Host a trivia night of Hallmark Movie Trivia. Ooh, that's going to be cat. Especially if you put up a big cash prize, the production team is going to try to get in there recoup some cost of the filming. Right? Because they're like, this is going to make our budget. Right. It's going to have to be a big cash prize. Yeah.

And you're going to draw them out. Gathering a group is solid. The fact that you're doing trivia already, like, if you can say, like, listen, I can get a group of people together. And I know that's probably the biggest pain for you because you just want people in the background. So, like, I'm usually, I can get 20 to 30 people if I just start asking questions out loud. That's, and that, I think you just have to have one really. really, really good trivia joke that they can't cut.

And you have to make them, like one really good, I don't know what a good trivia, you know, like, it could be anything as trivia, but like, you get it. If you can connect the trivia to, like, also be a summary of, like, kind of the plot

hinge of the movie, you're making it in the trailer. They can't cut that, right? So if you can make something about, like, you know, like, oh, you know, when you look at it, I think that pursuing your job over a love of Christmas is pretty trivial. Right? Like something like that? Yeah, that's good. Is that the question? Here's the question. What's important in life? A, the love of family. Oh, that's good. Your job. You don't always hear the violins.

Right. Was there a movie that I guess, was there a movie that we have watched about Christmas that has a scene very much like this in it? Because I feel like in, I believe in Santa Claus, there's like a pub trivia. Christmas trivia, so clause-based trivia. Christmas trivia comes up, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good setting. They don't want to, they don't want to, they're all super concerned with being original over there.

So they don't want to like rip off anybody else's Christmas trivia scenes. You got to find out more about the plot of the movie. And I don't know how you do. You got to find out something. You got to talk. We'll talk to Joel. We'll call Joel up and see if he knows about one of these projects shooting in a cute town in Tennessee. Because you got to tailor it.

You can't do the same trivia for. hot frosty two that you would do for like yes chef christmas too yeah absolutely i still believe in i got chills like i just i know you walk around town just loudly talking like on your cell phone about how the true meaning of christmas is having the most successful trivia night and that's what you're really dedicated to and you don't have time for love and like you haven't Dang, that's a hard pivot to try to spin it around yourself. Yeah. Just like, hey, maybe the one element they're missing is a story and lead actor.

We found the location. We're so close. We got the budget. Now we just need to figure out what happens in the movie. We just need a married 40-something to really bring this thing together. I think it's hubris to think you're going to make the shoot come to you. You're going to need a network. You're going to need eyes.

You're going to need boots on the ground, eyes in the sky. and you're going to need them to post up at, for instance, it is not too early now to start reaching out to all the owners of, like, Christmas tree lots in the city and just say, like, if you hear something, I'll slide you a, you know, a 20 to give me a ring, and you can just be in the background.

But they won't be doing that in Christmas time, though. No, if these tree lot people, you've got to go to the Arbor Day lots or some of the other, like, more, like, summer lots. If there's a coffee shopping town that also has a stone fireplace in it, Yeah. That's guaranteed.

That's locked in. You're going to want to just sit there for like six hours a day looking for them. Because they got to put up those things that are like, if you walk into this, you're in the shot and we own you now. Right? They got to put that on the door or places. So you're looking for those. You're looking for those. You're looking for crafty.

You just got to start spreading the word. Just start putting the dragnet out. Start printing out flyers of Candice Cameron Bergberg. Bill Bess Cameron Burt. I just say, I just say Mrs. Bill Burr, it makes, it's easier for me to remember. Yeah. Lacey Schober. Just printing out flyers.

She hyphenated her last name when she married Bill Burr. Lacey Schober. Just printing out flyers of one of them and saying like, if you see this woman, give me a call. Yeah. That's good. Hi, I'm looking for Lacey Chabair. Come back. Have you seen Melissa Joan Hart?

Have you seen Melissa Joan Hart or Candace Cameron Bill? Recently. Recently. Recently. And not on TV. We've all seen Sabrina the teenage, like we've all seen, yeah. You know, watch Clarice explains all I'm saying, like, have you seen her around town nearby in the neck? If you traveled with a T-shirt that said, I can sit to be filmed, that could probably get you.

Yeah. That's a cool shirt. Yeah. I can sit to be filmed adult. Dang, hold on a sec. We got to get that one going. Yeah, we'll sell that. Yeah, there's no problem.

Nothing bad could come from that. No, I can, yeah, no problem. No problem at all. Oh, wait, on the back, asterisk, only when I'm doing cool shit. You know what I mean? So that way it's clear. Unless I'm pissing pants. Yeah, unless I'm piss and pants.

That's in tiny, that's in tiny, uh, small print at the bottom of me. You have my full legal consent to fill. me at any moment aster's less I'm busy pants. If it pleases the court, if you look at my client's shirt, I'm wearing the shirt now, actually, Your Honor, if you look at the shirt, I've provided one

for everyone in the audience. You can see. Ah, case dismissed. And then roll credits on the greatest homework movie ever. And wait, one more question, young man. Where was the URL you purchased this great shirt? It's Macquarie Marshall.

It's an ad. This Christmas. The greatest brand pairing between Homeark movies and Macroymerch.com brings you, I consent to be filmed unless I'm pissing pants, the movie. Unless I'm pissing pants. God, dude, it got so commercial, so fast. I consent to be filmed unless I'm pissing pants

used to be outsider shit. You know what I mean? And I'm gonna make a goddamn homework movies about it. I remember when I bought the I consent to be filmed less on piss and pants shirt when it was cool, when it meant something. I used to be... I used to give my consent to be filmed unless I'm piss and pants before it got all corporate.

Now there's the protest shirts also available on magorymerge.com. The others are at Goodwill because we are done with them. I don't consent to being filmed unless I'm pissing pants. And then you have... Conblanc. Yeah. Hey. Roll away, Mr.

Ziggfield. All right. Here's another question for you, our beloved audience. My partner and I are visiting his parents tomorrow to stay for the week. Normally, I only bring one pair of shoes to visit them, but I recently acquired a pair for the express purpose of wearing outside. Inside. Since I hate going barefoot around the house.

Inside shoes and outside shoes. House shoes. Okay. Mm-hmm. I want to bring these shoes with me, so I don't have to deal with Dustin Carlin. problems on the bottom of my feet. But my partner's family is generally in no shoes inside the household.

How do I let my in-laws know that I'm wearing house-only shoes? And not disgracing their floors with dirt from the outside while keeping up the illusion that I'm a well-adjusted young man who doesn't overthink the sort of thing. And it's a good match for their son and doesn't, what, email podcasts about it? I'm assuming is the underlying. I'm well-adjusted. And not this. Not the exact thing.

I mean, that's not what I am. That's suggested in the post script of every. question we get. Yeah. If people knew that they listened to our show and we're asking this question, it would put some English on the ball basically every time. This, my house, my house shoes are black rubber slide sandals, which I have never

worn outside. My in-laws have tile in every room in their house, as is common here. Y'all, for starters, if you want us to try to solve this in another country, you at least have to tell us what country we are talking about. Yeah, Southern Europe could be in a way.

In Europe? I don't even know. What is that? I think that's Antarctica. Spain. Italy? Right? Where's Italy at?

Where's Greece? Dile fish is down there, right? Down there, yeah. How on earth would I begin to presume to know how to help you to navigate? But that is good so we don't docks you. I see you're being very careful here. Right. Those countries are so small.

It would not be hard for someone to triangulate. I have to assume. it's from a country without Socorinos. Is that the implication? In Italy, they don't have sacks? Well, I mean, Italy's shaped like a boot. So if we take that information. You're right.

They went to thought of socks way before us. Yeah, man. There have been early adopters. Here's, I think there's a problem here too. Well, I mean, there's many problems. But even if you were to say the exact, like, these shoes have never been outside, I'm just wearing them.

And then follow up with, because I don't like getting crumbs and shit on my feet. You're telling your in-laws, like, because your house is nasty, dirty. I can't get past this. I can't get past this. If you're walking, I'm not a clean freak or nothing, but if you're walking around your house and you sit down

and you hoist your puppies up and they're covered in crumbs and dust, you have a floor, that's not a foot problem. That's a floor issue. And you need to swiff or wet jet, all that shit. It takes but a moment. Now, to be fair, I've got two dogs in a cat. it gets bad so quick.

You could do it every day. I was going to say, man, I don't know what fantasy. This is my socks at the end of every day have to be decontaminated. Like, my fault, if you've only worn your shoes in my house, then good news, you probably only have baking soda and crayon and food coloring on them. So it should be no problem at all for you to pop those right on my beautiful pristine linen couch. Griffin keeps his kids in a taped off area with plastic wrap down. The dirt zone.

Yeah, that's how he keeps it. I don't know. My kids eat all over the house like the Tasmanian devil, and I don't know. I can't, I don't even see them do it. I just know it's happening. But your feet get cold. Your feet get cold on the tile.

Your feet get cold on the tile. Your feet get cold on the tile. I don't know that slide sandals are going to do much for the warmth factor. But it's going to keep the heat transfer. The heat transfer. Guys, we're trying really, really hard. I can tell we're trying really, really hard. When the answer is socks, and it's like crazy that it's like we have a...

Can I just say like it's definitely not black rubber sole sandals? That's what you wear to my house if you're coming to help me clean up flood damage. Like sincerely. That's not an indoor shoe. Now I know we've already developed, I can say to be filmed less than pissing pants, right? But what if we developed a sock with a hidden soul at the bottom? Right. So it looks like a sock.

Inside the sock, right? Along the bottom. It eats like a shoe. Yeah. Okay, if it's, okay, if the soul is just a physics thing, if the soul's on the inside of the sock, you're going to destroy the sock beneath the sole. I think the soul has to be outside of the, outside of the sock material. So you need like Spider-Man, basically, like Spider-Man. Ballet shoes almost.

Hospital socks, like that kind of deal. If you kept hospital socks in your back pocket, that's literally much less weird, maybe removable soul. Awesome. Magnetic. It's Velcro. I was trying to help you out and get you away from this bad idea of it. You just kidding. No, I'm sticking with it like the sole sticks to the bottom of the sock because the

Velcro on the sole, you see. You don't even need Velcro on the sock side because the sock will provide that naturally. All the hollocks are on the soul and then you can change it in and out. I have, Trave, I wish I wasn't. This is true. I have a pair of shoes that I got off a shark tank that. that have they basically convert

into a slipper you like put the bottom of the heel on and it attaches and then you're an outdoor mode and then when you get into the house you rip the bottom of the shoe off and I guess

set it aside I don't know I've never figured that part out it didn't come with like a case or something yeah where do I can I just throw these in a pile by the door I don't want to forget them

and then it's a slipper right so you've like you just removed your outdoor or soul. Which is like... You can just wear those 24-7 then. Well, I'm adding... I'm adding...

I'm adding a third layer to that, Justin. A more complication. Where it's like, then you can remove another layer and it's just sock. So you go shoot to slipper to sock. Yeah. That's good. That's actually a huge innovation.

Give me a boot upgrade. I want a whole Iron Man thing that I step into. Yes. And it just kind of gets me where I need to... Because that's one step up from that boot. It's like sock. Slipper, shoe, boot, thrusters. Pants, thrusters.

Oh, trusters. I was going to say, but it's all one piece. Like waiters. That's a utility. I mean, you're talking about, yeah, like waiters. You're going to zip off pants, but instead of the knee, it happens at the top of the boot. Sometimes we stumble into a really good answer after just kind of vamping for a little bit. I think if your shoes are part of your pants, the parents can't say anything.

You walk in and they, they, they, can't be like, this is a no-shoe household. You'd be like, uh, it's part of my pants. What, do you want me to get my dick and butt out? Nice to meet you, by the way. Nice to meet you. Crazy energy. Like, hi.

Do I, should I hang my suspenders up somewhere or how do you want me to work this? Excuse me, I'm wearing a big inflatable among us crewmate costume that I got from Spirit Halloween. It's a onesie. You want me to climb out of this and be naked with you? I guess. I could return it to my local box lundger spirit. For credit. For credit.

It's been used. Well loved, I like to say. Lightly used. Inflated all among this costume, never worn. Infrequently worn, but warm with a depth that feels like time has been. Yeah. Hey, how about we take a quick break? Yes.

Is that okay by you guys? Yeah, man, I'm exhausted. My water bottle's been empty this whole time, and I've been like, like honestly kind of panicky about it. Bring in the ad guys to do the ads. I'll be right back from me. I really am going to fill this out. I'm thirsty as hell.

Yeah, man. Gotta hydrate. Okay. Hi, everybody. Quick. Before Griffin gets back, Justin and I want to tell you about bonobos. Bonobos is great, but we want to tell you before Griffin gets back. Yeah, he wants to keep the secret to himself.

If he hears us talking about bonobos, he's going to kick our ass. Yeah, Griffin has loved Bonobos so much. What are you two gibroni's talking about? No, no. Nothing was from McRoy. Better not be bonobos, or I'm going to turn your tails paint. I'm going to turn your tails pink if you keep talking about bonobos. It's not them.

No, no, no, no. This is another great, great option for nailing the perfect fit in men's pants. It's a different place. It's not bonobos. No. I'm going to make those pants fit, but when I pink your beehines. Not again. You keep talking about bonobos.

No, this is a different place. What's so great about bonobos anyway, Griffin? Why are you so protective of them? What's so great about Bonobos? I mean, the pants fit perfect, genuinely. They got polos, they got everyday shirts, shorts, everything in between. They got whatever you need. It all looks very trendy.

You're going to look like a stylish person that seems like they know what they're doing. And I genuinely, I got some stuff from Bonobos a few months back. And I cannot tell you how frequently they've entered the rotation. some of my favorite slacks I've ever gotten He literally can't tell you Because he doesn't want to get the word out Because he wants to keep it all to himself Well no because but no was just paying us to spread the word

So like I do I'm conflicted But maybe the compromise is just You guys don't make a big deal out of it Or else you're hankering for a spankering If you keep this up guys Anchoring for a spankering Okay I will Here's what I will know

I'll give you an example of what I'm not going to say Just for the future reference Okay I will not say So put on Bonobos, feel good, and get on with your day. Right now, head to bonobos.com slash my brother and use code my brother for 25% off your order. Once again, that's B-O-N-O-B-O-B-O-S dot com slash my brother for 25% off. And make sure you use our promo code, My Brother, so then we send you.

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Mm-hmm. And we've all been waiting for bionicles to come back. and Warby Parker, surprisingly, is the one to do it. We all thought the Lego company would be the Bionicle. Nope. Warby Parker does incredible glasses and sunglasses, prescription lenses, whatever you need, and also these rad Lego action figures

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Yes. Bionicles? No. No. Happy Pride Month. So. Bionicles for happy pride is... Bionicles and bifogels.

We're late. It would have been something in June, but like... Yeah. Yeah. I just bought, literally just bought new sunglasses from Warby Parker yesterday because I lost my other pair at the pool. And that sucks when that happens, but it sucks less because the glasses are so affordable. Prescription glasses start at just $95. These are Warby Parkers.

These are Warby Parkers. I have multiple pairs of glasses now for the first time because Warby Parker makes it. Warby Parker makes it just so affordable. And they look great and I don't think those are Warby Parkers. Those look like novelty, sort of pineapple glasses. Oh, much better. Now I can see. Now I can see the most important thing, Griffin.

And my future is bright and sunny. Hooray, thank you, Warbo. So thanks Warbo for this sponsorship. Take it for me a lifelong fan. I can't believe we're beefing. This is genuinely a porky. Guys, I don't know how to relate to you on these ads. I can feel you losing control of it.

I don't know what to say. My vision's perfect. I want to step in, but I'm like not welcome in this space. I have tried to get glasses other ways. Warri Parker is the only way that I have found to do it that makes sense financially. And they look fucking great. There'd be an obstetrician on there. Yeah.

And I told them it's a baby doctor. Right now. buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at warby parker.com slash my brother that's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at w a r b y parker dot com slash my brother w a r b y because you can't see clearly without them yeah that's that's not bad travel i would hold that one in reserve yeah you should charge extra for that but i b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b Squat. Squat.

I want a munch. Squat. I want to munch. Squat. Welcome Munch Squad. It is a podcast. Within a podcast, profiling, the latest and greatest in brand eating. And guys, we've talked a lot about Burger King because they are upset.

It's kind of getting a little weird how much they want to do a better job. It's like every time they're like, we really want you to come to Burger King. It's really good now. Yeah, it's starting to be, I don't know, they need someone to tell them they're doing a good job. I don't know like how many people have to finally say to Burger King, like, no, we've had it our way.

We enjoy it our way. And they'll be like, thank God. Burger King is continuing to turn guest feedback into action with the Your Way champion. Huh. Burger King is launching into the next chapter in its brand transformation. Acting on feedback shared by thousands of guests across the U.S. Just four months after inviting guests to share honest feedback through its listening initiative

that gave out President Tom Curtis's phone number. We remember that. Bullshit. I mean, yeah, I remember, but I also remember that was bullshit. I did get a call back, by the way, and I was too scared to return it. Like, I couldn't. They were like, we heard you talking about on the podcast. I couldn't.

No, wait, really? Can't do it. Can't do it. We, two weak. Burger King is. Man, we know, God, juice, this is brave. People never do this on like entertainment products where they're like, there was a thing we could have done.

It probably would have kicked ass, but I am too weak to do it. Too scared. Too scared. Too scared to do it. Two weak. Burger King. But you can imagine, guys, with that content would have been like. It would have been, it would have been great.

We're just not the ones to make it. It probably would have been better in your imagination than it would have been in real life, so you're welcome. Yeah. If it had just been me and that person, it would have just been me trying to get them to like me. It would have been funny. You know, you're not going to enjoy that. Burger King is introducing two new initiatives designed to improve the moment's guests told the brand matter most.

One, providing consistent, accurate, and welcoming in-restraint experience. This is the number one thing about Burger King when people called them is said, I would never eat. I don't like eating in Burger King as much as I used to. Are you, first of all, leave the building. Like, do not, unless you're going in to get a crown. Yeah. Do not be in Burger King longer than you. But apparently the number one thing they heard is,

I used to love eating in Burger King, and I don't love that experience like I used to. I hope they factored in the curve of, it's 2026. None of us like anything that we used to like as much as we used to like it. It's tough out here, and we're all struggling a bit. I would probably say I probably enjoyed eating at Burger King more than I currently do. Unless the next line in this press release is so we're bringing back the Burger King Kids Club

with Kid Vid and Wheels and all your favorites. I'm never going in a Burger King again. That's the only press release. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Or an apology press release for Chicken Furze. fries. For them to be like, we fucked up. We really, really, really hug a lot of our hopes on these long... Hey, we're sorry that we made good fries for like a month and then stopped. We apologize.

Burger King is the only brand that'll sell you half-seys. If you want half onion rings and half french fries, they'll do that for you. Halfsies. It's on the menu. No problem. That's cool. Anyway, one thing Burger King heard consistently from guests was that they wanted someone in the restaurant who could quickly make things right when needed. Awesome. Yeah. Wait. Yeah?

Yeah. Burger King is excited to announce. Manager. Manager. The manager who comes when things are bad to fix them. Griffin. In response, the brand is introducing the Your Way champion. A reimagined restaurant manager role designed to empower restaurant leaders and

put the guest experience first. More than overseeing restaurant operations, Your Way champions serve as a dedicated point person, clearly identifiable in a Your Way champion uniform. And the bastard sword that they have slung around their back. They are. Oh, see, I was picturing like a championship belt. But, yeah, that works too.

Or both. They, who welcomes guests, insurers orders are prepared the way they are requested, and is available to make things right whenever needed. So, okay, I want to stop here in the press release to discuss. Yes. Sorry, just a quick question. Was I not already doing that? No.

I don't know what the number one thing that people told Burger King is I will tell people that things are wrong and they will respond to me with Stony's silence and a refusal to address the issue. I need at least one person who will not meet you a Stony silence and refuse to address the issues. So now you have the Yorway champion. Who they have described as sort of like, they're like an extra Burger King. They're like almost outside the sphere.

This is, they like, listen, corporate says I'm not supposed to do this, but like they have unhinged me for the shackles. I can, I'm literally like deputized to go to do whatever it takes. I need everyone else at that Burger King to hate the Yorway chain.

Oh yeah, it's the internal investigations of Burger King. The NARC. Yeah. Can you, I, this reads as the most passive, aggressive way to tell managers, it's like, Yeah, we're changing. Hey, from now on, you're going to be the your way champion. Yeah.

Can I please? Can I just say, no, because managers before weren't fixing problems. They weren't making sure food was done consistently. So now you're a your way champion, who wouldn't, who would not bail? I feel like there would be a mass exodus at Burger King large enough to impact the global economy. What has gone wrong at Burger King that they need to make it someone's job

to care if the burger is upside down? Yeah. Like I don't understand that they have to have one person who's like, shouldn't everybody kind of want it to be my way? Like, I feel like that's part of the idea. Hey, I ordered a wopper, and this box was in, Yeah, I don't know how to tell you The Yorway champion isn't here right now

So fuck off, I guess So fuck you, we ate your fucking guts Get out of here, shrimp dick Is the implication That if the Yorway champion is on lunch break Don't even fucking Don't even go to Burger King They're gonna have to put up a hot and fresh

Like sign like whiskey cream has They will make your entire meal perfectly and then they'll take the tray and smash it into your chest. Just smooosh it all and then knock you in the toilet. Can I get a double whopper, chew? Did you just fucking spit on me? Yeah, man. No champion, no rules, no God.

Get out of here. Where's your champion now? I think, okay, in fairness, there should have to be a staff champion that tries to thwart the your way champion in every turn, right? The our way champion. The staff needs someone to stand for them against the Euroway champion. It's an imbalance of power. Well, we then will need a third party for them to team up again, a hamburger-esque like,

and I'm here to stop it up, a no-way champion. I'm here to stop it all. Well, that's the Burger King, does that. It can mediate for the champions of the Red. Oh, no, I need an evil one. Oh, cool. To further reinforce the commitment. to getting things right.

Burger King is also introducing a Wopper guarantee, which is something that I thought I lived under the protection of already. Apparently, I do not. I didn't know that it was a Wopper at your own risk scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Wopper is the brand's most beloved item

and guests expect to have it served hot exactly the way they ordered it. That's why if a Wopper doesn't meet a guest expectations, the brand will not only continue to remake it on the spot, but they'll offer the guest next Wopper for free. Uh-oh, infinite food hack When we ask

This is Tom Curtis Who I've read a lot of Press releases I believe this is written by the man Tom Curtis Let me say that One, I believe this is written

by Tom Curtis Two, I believe that Tom Curtis took phone calls From people who eat at Burger King regularly For some amount of time Because this is a changed man I've never seen a CEO

Express this level of humility Quote When we ask guests Where we could do better they gave us a lot of honest feedback. Who? Chilling. And now it's our responsibility to act on it.

We're not going to get everything right every single time, but we're committed to listening intently. That butt is doing so much work there. But, but, I promise. But. We're committed to listening intently and improving every day. Please stop yelling. When guests choose us, they expect high quality food, orders made the way they ask, and a team that's there when they need us. I have lost track of the pronouns at this point.

I do not know who is them and us anymore. I don't think Thomas slept in weeks, Justin. I don't think he's kept track of it. That's what these changes are about. We're raising the standard in our restaurants, so every guest's, feels like they made the right choice. Is it, you know, it's funny, Tom Curtis took phone calls from people

who all eat at Burger King, and he's like, I gotta figure out why people aren't eating at Burger King more. I gotta get to the bottom of this. Do you know how humbling it must have been just be like, the one thing Tom is, it would be nice if it didn't suck, and if everybody gave a shit if it sucked,

and if I could, and they fixed it when it sucked. Is that? Okay, thanks, bye. And that, Justin, is the, the calls from people who love Burger King enough to call the CEO and give feedback about Burger King. Yeah, if Tom wanted to be like in-store dining experience. If Tom wanted a really representative sample slice, he should have called, like called strangers

just picking 10 random numbers on the phone saying like, hey, real quick, this is Tom from Burger King. Do you like it? What could we do to possibly get you back? Bring back Vidkit and wheels and the whole BKKK and wheels. I got it. I got to give that up. You're the 50th person to tell me that today.

Your way champions serve as a clear point of contact for guests throughout their visit. Have you ever been into Burger King and been like, who the fuck do I talk to about this? No. Is it the people in the striped shirts or not? I don't know where I was supposed to go. I guarantee you though, Justin, the managers at the time did love any tiny bit of anonymity that they had during that time. That's true. That's not.

to wear the big hat with streamers on it that says, Your Way champion, and they can't hide from it anymore. I got to say also, as a customer, I don't want that much attention to be paid to me while I'm at Burger King. I'm probably on a road trip stopping for lunch. That's the only reason I can think that I would be in there in the first place,

and I don't need someone, it's like an interactive theater experience that I was not really that I didn't sign up for. I don't need someone wait and watch and look at prowling. Everything okay? Here at Burger King, our latest innovation, we've installed a third window at the drive-thru with an arm down that you can't pass until the Yorway champion confirms that the burgers you got in the bag are your way. And if they're not, you won't be allowed to leave until you eat them in front and enjoy

and smile at the Yorway champion. Only then will the arm be lifted and you can continue on your way. We did pretty good, huh? Maybe Tom was like, okay, guys, I've done, I've crunched all the numbers and I talked to everybody. And I figured out what our biggest problem at Burger King is. Bring up the next slide. Napkin theft. That's our big problem.

The reason we're not making more money is people are stealing too many napkins. So the, your way cheap is really, you just hang out by the napkins. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, partner? Was that made wrong? You need so many napkins? Yeah. Because I can, we can make it again. What if they're wrong?

You got a spill? Because we keep a mop back there, partner. What if one day, Tom, after pouring over charts and chalkboards and everything, you realizes the problem is that people who order at Burger King don't know what makes a burger good and their way sucks? Yeah. And he's like, actually, we should make it our way because we're the ones who have learned how to make the burgers good.

And so from now on, there's one burger you can work. One burger. One size of frying. This is the best one. This is it. This is the only one you get. But we nail it every time. I would.

Oh, man. I'm just thinking about, I mean, I'm not going to eat inside a Burger King. I'm thinking about the social pressure of eating inside a Burger King and having this person. And what if I'm the only one there? You know, what if it's just you and the Euroway champion? Staring you down. A new friend. Watching you chew.

Hey, partner. Are this seat taken? How was that bite? What about that one? Again. More ketchup. More ketchup. Hey, you know, the black bun

makes your poops a different color, right? Don't be freaked out. That's still your way. If your poop's weird, it's just your way. You may not know. That's cool. The Your Way champion can be a little pushy

about what your way should be. Yeah. Don't freak out. By the way, to make redeeming the Wopper Guarantee Frictional guests who aren't satisfied with their Wopper can scan the QR code provided inside their Wopper box

to receive a unique six-digit code that can be redeemed for a free classic Wopper during their next visit to Burger case. There's no way anyone will abuse that. That's what I'm saying. How do you... But does it also say under the QR code, like, but be honest, because I think we fucking...

Please. Free has an asterisk next to it, and I cannot find what that asteris is referring to. I also, there's something that tickles me so much. It's like, hey, if your burger is gross and you didn't like eating it, don't worry, you can have another one. Yeah, we'll make you another one. Yeah, but I didn't like the first one. I don't care.

Here's another one. Eat this one. Maybe you don't like wobbers. Eat this one. I didn't like that one either. Scan the QR code. I don't want, scan it. Scan it.

I think I just don't like the flame grilled taste. Yeah, no, you will like it. Eat another one. Here's another one. You'll learn to love it. Putting the code in the box feels like when in video games you're watching a cinematic and there's a huge skip cut scene button. And it's like they really are not confident in this product. They really want to make it clear how you get around this.

Like opening the box and be like, disappointed? Scared this code. We know. We know. We get it. It has to be on the bottom of the of the clam. container, right? Not on the top.

The supposition would be at that point. But like, then you have to finish the whole Whopper you don't like. That sucks. It's in the middle of the Wopperlinger fortune cookie. Does it make less sense than... You clearly didn't need the whole thing. The code's at the bottom of the burger. It doesn't make less sense than

opening the box and the first thing you're confronted with is the little QR code that's like on the off chance this sucks. Listen, this may not be good. You might not like this hamburger you see before you. Oh, they've written out the QR code and ketchup on the bottom of the bun. That's nice of them.

Thank you. Hey, thank you so much for listening to this podcast, which is called my brother, my brother, and me. That's true. That is, yep. I can confirm that. Did you guys think I was going to say more stuff? Well, I, if you like other podcasts, specifically. Always trick in the book.

It's specifically, if you like a podcast called The Besties, boy, have I got huge news for you? the besties is performing live on Broadway and not just like out on the street like in a theater at the town hall in NYC like on a stage too not just like in the lobby like a quartet singing they'll be on the stage doing besties live

and you can get tickets now at bit.l.wis slash besties on Broadway. That's October 9th coming up real soon. It's gonna be a great show. It's gonna be a good time. We got some new merch up at the merch store over at mackroymerch.com. We got a pew painting is always a free action shirt inspired by the Taz Royale finale.

That one's only available until the end of September designed by Bryn Doherty. Thank you so much, Bryn. And 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Native Women Lead. So go check all that out over at mackorymerch.com. I've got this 3D printed pirate ship that I haven't even broken the support trees off yet. But I can... That's a great way of doing it. I think I could arc this pretty good.

How do you resist? But no, no, no, no, no, Trit-Sher, Treff. Hey, can we look at the supports real quick what we got going on there? Just out of curiosity. Organic? Yeah. I love organic supports. I like the tree slim.

Here's what I guess. Me too. Those are much more fun to break off. I wouldn't break those off. What kind of gap spacing do you have in between the material there, Trough? What kind of an infill percentage we have? Standard. Nice.

The normal one. The normal one. Remember, we chuck shit over our shoulder. Yeah, no, I know. I know. Okay. I'm going to try to do it. without looking and not slamming into all the precious awards I have in the back.

That's what I'm saying, man. That's by its high stakes. Well, you're standing. Yeah. Okay. I need some room. You know that I'm not at all, bro. I'm just saying you can do it from your chair.

Okay, you got it. That sounded big. That sounded like a big smashy, dude. Is it okay? Let me see. I got to find it first. Geez, Louise. Yeah, sorry to get pushy, dude.

There it is. It's okay. That's all right, man. a piece of the support came off, but that's okay. That's fine. That's what you want. That's ideal. Yeah, it was perfect.

Do it again. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother, my brother, me kiss your dad's grow on the lips. Maximum Fun. A Worker Owned Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.