My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 834: You Ain't Never Ate an Egg Like Me

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

We’re finally transforming from Talk-Boys into Talk MEN! That means we can finally get ads from the downstairs razor company and answer all your questions about big boy topics! Like pissing yourself in a race car, counting eggs, and the classic movie monster Lil’ Pinhead.Suggested talking points: Quantum Mandela, We're Not a Chess Family, I'm Not as Egg-Resistant as Gaston, It's Always Mouth Stuff with Griffin, Unlicensed ScaringCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/ Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinmbmbam

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something's rapping into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother, me.

An advice show for the Mondrinaera. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Traff Nation? It's me, your middle of his brother, Travis Big Dog, Wolfo, room from the heater award-winning McElroy. Hey, what's up? Trave Nation, it's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin McRoy, hey.

We are taking it back to last year's theme. We need to flashback 2025. Things are way different. Do not remember. Was that the mushroom one? Was that? No, that was Thunder Drive, baby. Fasted that.

Fier. Faster than fear. One of my kids' favorites. My kids understood that way more than they understand this year's theme. This year's thing is tricky. I remember tell me buddy life. I remember tell me buddy life. That one rings a bell. Oh man, Mandela effect. Am I right?

I don't think it works actually. In this case, this would be like if Mandela both died and did not die. Oh, quantum Mandela. Yeah. Do you think, do you think I've never thought about this, but do you think Nelson Mandela ever forgot stuff And then he would show up and be like,

damn it, where's the papers? He'd be like, Mandela Effect, what can you do? Yeah. I forgot it. Sorry. Our son's birthday party was today. Oh, man, I really Mandela affected this one.

Yeah, I thought you said it was tomorrow. Mandela effect. Yeah, it's my special effect. Huh? I'm always getting stuff. This is an update. We get listeners updates. Sometimes the updates are answers to,

conversations that we, I'm sure we had at some point. I think we had last week. This has to be been prompted by something, but I really don't, I can't remember the stuff and say the stuff at the same time. Yeah, no. You can't record and play back at the same time on a cassette tape. Think about a talk boy. Yeah. Think about a talk. I'm a talk boy. I talk. We're three talk boys. Three talk boys. You can't record and play. Going on talk men. We'll get there someday. You are talk boy going on talk men That's the name of our next podcast Yeah

By the way, once we stop doing this baby shit It's gonna be talk men Talk men Well we're gonna talk men I can't wait to get those big men Advertisers like what's it called Nut Sack the one everybody's got ball shaving They never let us do ball shaving

They never let us do it That's fucking crazy You would have done so good when everybody was getting into ball shaving. When everyone was just shilling for smoothnut, I would love to get that smoothnut money. Nope. I'm all about full bush and trunks. You know what I mean? I'm anti-ball shaving.

Travis, this new company is Fullbush, and it's the anti-Men's grooming razor company. Yeah. He doesn't sell anything. It's like a protest. I call it brogain. Put it right on your balls, grow them even hairier. All careful. Now it's trending towards a note.

What is the update from our listener? The update is this. I'm a semi-pro race car driver. Think AAA baseball level. Just wanted to mention. Hold on, pause. Why the fuck did you think that would be a useful shorthand for the three of us? We don't understand the hierarchy of real enneesport.

I have watched enough baseball movies. It's not just for us. You got to remember there's listeners too. I often do this. gotta remember we're not the only ones here, right? There's baseball hats out there, sure. Just wanted to mention that drivers don't often piss themselves in a two to four hour race, but it happens occasionally.

I think before you move on, that's the best case scenario in terms of, like, I think that's the funniest answer. So I'm really excited that, because that makes it special. Yeah, when you do piss pants. It means something. It means you wanted it, though you wanted it the worst. Usually you're so wet from sweat And it just kind of mixes in and then evaporates

A prank teams will play on new mechanics As to ask them where a leak is coming from If the car is leaking While sitting and waiting for the race to start What? Like a driver will piss themselves The piss will jump out and they'll be like Where's that leak coming from?

So sorry, the prank no this is gross The prank teams will play on each other is if their driver, who I assume they have to hold in high regard, he operates the machine, steps out of the car, and dribbles piss on the hot asphalt? No, he doesn't step out of the car, Griffin. It dribbles from the car whilst he's in it. Nope, stop.

That's crazy, too. Why is there so much piss? What is the volume of driver piss in the car that it's running out over the sides? Maybe that's why they don't piss during the race. It's like right before the race, they just close their eyes and flow. and flow state.

And the other cars don't have windshield wipers, right? Because that's added weight, I assume. This is the thing that I understand about race cars is that you're trying to get them as low weight as possible. So those things must be

ramshackle as hell. Yeah. Right? That you can piss in your seat and it drips out the bottom of the car. You're on some Flintstone shit with no floor. Yeah, it's an open concept stock vehicle.

My friend Justin Gardner spilled a full sprite in the backseat of Griffin's car. Extra large soda. It didn't spill out the bottom of the car. It floated in there like a kiddies waiting pool. There is a, going at a certain speed is like an equalizer on this too. Like it's almost like it doesn't count if you're going so fast that it really can't affect me.

You know what I mean? It's like you fill your suit up with piss. The centrifugal force of those left turns is going to whip that right out of there, mister. It's going to whip that right out of there, mister. He's going so fast. You don't need to worry about that. You don't want to read this last sentence of the email? A couple times I know of that drivers have shit themselves, but far less common.

That's from Speedy in Seattle. That's cool. That one they probably can't play off as much. Like if they step out and there's pissed drivelins coming out of the car, they can be like, wow, I really sweat it a lot. This one, but I don't think you can cloak it for. Here is the decision I think you got to make. If you are in a race and you shit your pants. You have got to win the race

You have got to win Because if you win, then it's like, what a machine. You know what I mean? But you have to win. Because if you lose and you put your pants. Yeah. But if you win, it's like, man, Stevie Ray Vaughn would play guitar until his calluses fell off and then glue him back on again.

It's that kind of thing. It's that level, yeah. You do have to, if you do make it in. into the winner circle. I think as soon as you step out of the stock vehicle, you do need to fall on the ground and roll around a few times and get all muddy. And then you're like, this is how I celebrate.

I roll around like a dirty hog. And all of this stuff on me's mud. It's all mud. I think also if you realize you're not going to win, maybe a controlled crash, like a crash where it's just like, listen, I know how to do this safely. Like, I'm not going to explode.

I'm going to be fine. But then if someone's like, you shit your pants, like, yeah, man, did you see how fast I was going when I crashed? Sort of like how an assassin can shoot you through your torso in a way where he doesn't hit any vital stuff because his job he knows how to, you do like a gentle crash, but one enough that's like people see it and then they see the poop in your pants and they say, yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, man, me too. I would have, when I was in high school, there was a kid and somebody bet him like $20 to piss himself, like he couldn't piss himself. and my dude, it took him 30 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Unwind all the mental blockages and precautions that one has. And then I think about how fast these race cars are driving and they piss themselves. Do you think it's easier because the focus they're doing are harder?

Do you think they have to really like slack themselves into it? It's like, do it. Do it. No, I think it's harder because I've been driving and had to do the like P into a 20 ounce. And it takes everything. It takes everything in me. Yeah. I did that in Bonnaroo traffic one time.

I had to, and it did take a long time. At one point, I got out of the car, and I climbed down into a ditch, and I couldn't do it in the ditch either. And you have to say yourself, like, it's okay. It's okay. You can't do that while driving a car so fast. It's okay. Normally it's not okay, but it's okay right now.

You can do that. That's why you have your, like, head gear guy in your ears, and you're like, hey, I need to piss myself. Tell me it's okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's fine. It's okay. Big Boys Peter's also done.

It's okay. Hey, hey, everybody, be quiet on the radio for 30 seconds. Nobody talk or anything at all, promise. Do you want me to make like ocean sound? Shut up! I almost opened. I almost opened it. God damn it.

Take them on the, you got a hater on the inside. Stop it, shut up. Shut up. After the race, that's why they did. dump all that milk on you so you can pee and pee and no one cares. Yeah. Because it's all milky and pee. I mean, that's true. I never see anybody bolt for the can after a race. Have you ever seen that? They always lift them up. Keep in a big cup. Please don't do that. Please don't shake me. Oh. I got to go. Do you guys ever see football coaches leave the field to go use the potty during the

game? No, that's what the Gatorade Splashes for. Oh. So they can rip right there and do the post-game interview. I showed my kids the amazing classic film Speed Racer, and at the end, they're like drinking milk. And my kids are like, why are they drinking milk? And I explained to them, you know, you don't want to show race car drivers drinking champagne and stuff because drinking and driving. But then I realized there's so many other options before you get to milk. Yeah. I also think that celebrating by drinking after driving, that's not a thing. Do you guys think race car drivers, when they finish driving in a circle for four hours, then they get in their Honda Civic in the parking lot

and drive home? No way, dude. They should get blitzed because they definitely have a DD that's going to get them there. Yeah, someone else should drive. Like, if I'm driving a road trip and I drive like the first four hour, five hours, and then we stop, I'm not driving again, right?

That's their job. That's my job. It's my job. I'll take an over. Yeah. The first person to do it was named Louis Meyer. And he had this habit. His mom taught him when he won his first race in 1933,

he drank a big old glass of buttermilk because his mom always told him it was a great way to beat the heat. And then some milk executives saw that and he was like, hell yeah, everybody needs to be drinking buttermilk after a race. Buttermilk? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm pretty sure buttermilk. the heat beat me in a major way. Yeah. No, what would be fun is if they gave them the butter and then jiggled them around in a car for four hours and then they threw up butter. This says that this, this, uh, Children's Museum of Indianapolis page where I'm getting this data, says that the tradition continued for 10 years until 1947 when milk was no longer offered. What? Like anywhere? We were rationed.

You remember the milk prohibition of 47, right? Is that the war? The war took all the milk? Look. We sent a lot of good cows overseas and they never came back. This is an... This is an advice show. Big bones.

It's an advice show. We're going to help somebody today. I attend a local chess club once a week. It's for all ages and skill levels. Occasionally, I end up playing chess against a young child five to ten years old. I'm 43. Five? Yeah, man.

Yeah, man. These cases are day. People like chess. People like making kids do chess. I love to teach kids, and I'm happy to play chess with them. I try to be extra nice and give them hints about how to make good moves, but inevitably I end up winning. Sometimes they start crying and beg their parents to go home. I feel awful when this happens.

Help me, dear brothers. How can I avoid making kids cry with still dominating them over the board? That's from beginning to cry in British Columbia. You're almost there. Let's zoom in on a word that is called inevitably. Tell me about that. That's interesting. That's such an interesting word you've chosen, my friend.

you inevitably beat them because that's interesting because I've lost to my kids in every fucking game there is and I have never struggled maybe once twice shoots of ladders maybe some of the random ones

can be hard to fix but like inevitably you won I don't know they're your kids Justin I think it's a lot easier to lose on purpose to your own children than random

because there comes a point because you have to deal with the fucking repercut if it's your kid crying and wanting to go home, you'll find a way to lose, I guarantee it. It'll become very important that you lose, actually. There are times where, like, I'm playing a game against my child, and I have a moral

dilemma inside my heart, where I'm like, am I, like, I don't think they're learning anything about this game if I just like, oh, oh, my guy fell over. You win, right? Yeah. This is why I think that what you're offering here is a service where you can win against these children, and they're going to get upset. and then I as a parent can blame you that mean person who beat them. Oh, what a jerk.

But they're still getting the lesson about like how to get better at chess and why they have to like learn so they can beat that mean person at the park who beat them. Just like, okay. So you're talking about how like in searching for Bobby Fisher, Max's parents hire Sir Ben Kingsley to be mean to him about chess, basically. I also think Lawrence Fishburn voluntarily is mean to him. No, Larry Fishburn supports him. Yeah, he's chill. He, like, wants him to play for the love of playing chess. Man, is that movie good?

I don't know. But the thing is, I don't know. I'm sitting here thinking about it. I think so. I confuse it with Little Man Tate. Hold on. Let's take a minute. Let's take a minute and think about it.

I don't know. It's a movie about a, look, I feel like it's one of these flicks that had a much bigger impact for us as children. and I feel like it is one of the dustiest like sort of references that we reach for so frequently. I don't know why that film made such an impact on us. We are not a chess family.

We're not deep in the Bing Kingsley paint no more than any other West Virginia family. You know? When you're a certain type of child, you see a searching for Bobby Fisher, you see a Matilda. A little man tape. You keep bringing that up.

I don't know. Harry Conn Jr.'s in it. There's a C where Little Man Tate plays pool against Harry Connie Jr. Little Man Tate can see all the angles that he's shooting the balls from. And I was like, that's the coolest shit in the world

when I was like 10. It's just some of us want sports heroes and some of us want smarts heroes. Yep. And Bobby Fisher or the kid from searching for Bobby Fisher because his name wasn't Bobby Fisher is so crazy. It would be super duper clear about that. No, they were looking for Bobby Fisher.

If he was Bobby Fisher, it would have been, we found Bobby Fisher. Yeah. And they would have found here. At the worst club in the world filled with all of the world. filled with all of the world's worst people. That's where he is.

Just go to the worst place you could think of. That's where you'll find him. Did he get lost? Did he? I never actually Google to find out why we're working. Hey, Griff, hey, everybody. Take 15 seconds to search Bobby Fisher. Uh-oh.

I believe he's a turd? He died. Okay. Okay. A lot. You have a good run right before? I really wish Wikipedia would just put at the top, like, and here's why, And here's why we don't talk about Bobby Fisher.

Yeah, man, I need a whole, I need a whole, like, this is a 13 chat. This is so many multi-section Wikipedia. There's a lot. There's a lot, guys. There's a lot. He celebrated 9-11. He thought it was pretty cool. And he didn't think the Holocaust happened.

He's not a good dude. Not a good dude at all. Oh, no. Yeah. Rough. You know, for a long time, I did think it was that they had, lost Bobby Fisher he'd been kidnapped or something, and then I eventually realized it's like, we're looking for the next, we're searching for the next Bobby Fisher. Oh, no. Don't search for,

don't search for Robert Fisher. Yikes. Holy shit, Bobby. God damn. All right. So yeah, he's like, Hall of Fame anti-Semite. Yeah, not like, yeah, he, yeah. Not like a passing, like, will they, they, like, Instagram influencer anti-Semite. He makes Roll doll look like Charlie Bucket. I mean, he's a fucked up. Yeah, he's a bad one. Google little man Tate and make sure he's not problematic. Is he okay?

He wasn't real. Is he all right? He wasn't real? Just, uh, just don't lose. Just lose to this. Just lose one, man. Just lose one. It's an interesting challenge.

It could be a more interesting challenge to make your brain work that way. To make it lose. It's fun. Sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes your kids will be like, why is Yoshi just parked and not driving anymore? And it's like, don't worry about it. Something must be wrong with Yoshi's car.

This is a normal part of the game. You're doing better than me. Ask them, what do you think I'm going to do next? And then do whatever they say? Man, when your kid goes backwards in a racing game, that's a tough one. When you see they're going the wrong way, there is not a good way.

I can't come to your level if you're going backwards. I need you to at least move in the correct direction. Man, do your kids ever challenge you in like a strength, like arm wrestle me or like pull as hard as you can? And you're like, how at, What point do I gauge that I'm putting up enough of a contest for them to feel good about winning, but I'm not accidentally going to win? No, no, no, no.

I won't do it with strength. Contests of strength, I will not slow play. They need to know that their father is strong. I don't want to hurt them. I won't participate in a contest where they could be hurt. Travis, I don't put myself in those situations ever because once, like, if the dogs get off the chain, like I don't know what they're capable of. I mean, my arms, my arm muscles.

Yeah. If the dogs get off the chain, I don't know what they're capable of. Well, I just flex my arms and let them hang off them like I'm Gaston. I did that yesterday and I hurt my shoulder. Yeah. No, you can't let them know you hurt yourself because I hurt myself doing it every time. But you got to mask that pain. That's daddy's pain.

You know what I mean? I hide that for my kids. They don't need to know how I hurt myself trying to show off for them. At my annual company retreat, we have a tree. we have a tradition of singing karaoke as an organization. This year, my brand new boss and I were sitting next to each other when one of my colleagues got up to sing a classic Disney song. In an attempt to make conversation, I asked my boss whether he liked Disney movies.

He said yes. He asked me if I like Disney. He then asked whether I would like to sing a karaoke Disney song with him. And if so, which one? Brothers, what's the best Disney song to sing at karaoke with your boss? some extra details. I'm not actually that big of a Disney fan though I have friends who are.

My boss is a very proper British guy. I'm American. I was surprised by this asked to sing a Disney song together. He has been my boss for less than three months. That's a Disney dilemma. That puts some real fun English on the ball and I do appreciate that.

Three-month karaoke ask is a wild, is wild business. Okay, okay, okay, hold on. Let's sleuth this out a little bit. you to make conversation introduced the question, do you like Disney movies? If you were looking through the karaoke book at the time, it's very easy to interpret that question

and that action as, I want to sing a Disney song, and I'm looking to see if you want to do it with me. No, no, no, no, no. Because you're missing the inciting act, which is that another one of their colleagues was already up singing a classic Disney song. So what really happened is,

someone got up to sing a Disney song, you leaned over to your boss and you're like, do you like this shit? You like this shit? You're hearing this? And then they took that to mean, let's bust out love as an open door together, which is not a bad open door. Can't do love for an open door. I mean, you can rule out a lot very easy, none with accents.

You can't go under the sea. Sorry. You can't. You can't make your boss go under the sea. I'm sorry. You can't do the Siamese cat song from Aristocats. Sorry. No, sorry you can't do it.

Nothing from Song of the South. Sorry. I'm trying to think you could do Akuna Matata. Shit. Hucumatata is an all-time Disney dueling. That's very good and completely non-sexual. It's one of the least sexual songs. Completely platonic.

Well, we don't know what Timoan and Pumba's relationship was, but the song itself. Yeah, it's just about eating bugs. Well, read between the lines, guys. You think Timo, this is my roommate, Pumba. Guys, did we watch the same fucking movie? No, they're together. These two, all their meals together, they spend all of their time together.

I think they're in love and that's awesome. What? If they made a baby, I wonder what it would be like. That's crazy, dude, that that's where you jump to. It's always about, for you, it's always about. If a mere cat and a pumba had a baby, I'm just curious what it would be like. A mere hog.

Mere hog. Wark cat. Wark cat's cool. I mean, in a way, they adopted... It's Mia Hogg. It's about a couple of dudes that adopted child and raised him. Yeah. I mean, that's a family right there, guys.

That's a family. I know Justin's here trying to say that's not a family, but that's a family. He says it's only a family if they can procreate, and I'm like, whoa, dude. Yeah, they raise him to be a bug eater, right? It's also nature versus nature. We're getting a lot of psychology here from Timon and Pumba that I find so interesting. Yeah. What about something from Mary Poppins?

Those are very British. What about supercalifragilistic expialidocious? Cool. Yeah. What about that? Good job, by the way, Jews. That word's a real minefield. Yeah, a lot of people can't say that in one pass, but it only took me three.

And Rachel had to clean them up. I'm sure. Yeah. What about the song from a hunchback of Notre Dame where Frollo and Quasimodo are singing together about how Quasimodo is to form and, like, have your very proper British guy be Follohlo? Yeah, sorry, did we rule out Pocahontas just across the board? Because Pocahontas is also completely out.

What about a medley? What about a Disney medley? A Disney medley. Of the most problematic Disney tunes. Oh, that's fun. Make it a game where the second. you hit the problematic part, you go to the next song.

Right? Like, oh, that was it. Next. I got a good one. It's not a traditional duet, but like, I think if you're trying to get in there with your boss,

a little you got a friend in me. Because then you get to do your Randy Newman impression. Perfect. We've all got one of those inside us waiting to come out. And then by the end of it, your arms around shoulders,

your buzz and your Woody and you come together and you're going to get that fucking promotion. You got a fun of me as good. It's good. Right. It's just you be Lafou, have your boss be Gaston. No, that's bad because now you've been cuckolded.

Now you've set up a power dynamic where it's like, I'm your little imp. Make the boss be a bit. I'm your freaky little imp telling people how many eggs you eat. You don't want to have that sort of dynamic with your boss. That's true. That's a good point. Do you think people get put off by Gaston's freaky little imp who's like, he farts so loud.

All right, dude. Fuck. He fucks a hundred women a month. All right, man, why are you telling me all this? Okay, do you think he does it when Gaston's not around? Like, yeah. Dude, yeah, people are talking about like, did you hear about this French revolution that's happening?

Yeah, it's crazy. They're like killing, like, all of the rich people. I heard that Gaston can lift up four women. I've got so many antlers. You guys see all his antlers? Yeah, we get it. What? Yeah, he's great for sure.

Yeah. You smell his burps? Yeah, they're just... Yeah, dude. Dude, I guess. Yeah, that's awesome. We know, man, the egg burps. We all hate them, dude.

We get it. Yeah. No, I'm talking to Marie. Her son just died. Yeah, you know who's never died? Gaston. He'll never die. Okay, cool, man.

All right. All right. All right. Well, we'll catch you next week, man. This is been good, guys. We're going to go. This has been fun. I've got a list of other things Castan can do.

Cool. No, just leave it like under my door or something. The guy's Lafoux-out hangs out with whatever Gaston needs to jerkle. Just give me 15 minutes for God's sake, Lafoune. No, we'll watch him. We'll watch him, Gaston. No, we got him, boss. We'll keep an eye on him.

We'll make sure he gets fed and everything. I used and lose in all of my masturbating. Yuck, Gaston. How are the antlers being incorporated, Gaston? He wears them. why do we talk about Gaston so much? Yeah, man, I don't know, but I think I bring it up the most, I think about Gaston a lot, Griffin.

He's a huge, he's a huge dude, and I guess we know a lot about him. There's not a lot of other Disney songs that are like, and here's one about King Triton. His pecks are fucking huge. He likes to carve chairs out of coral. He can eat 100,000 eggs. It's just, I think there's a real power to songs

that nobody's written before, you know? Like, there's lots of songs about how a beauty and a beast can fall in love. There's not enough songs about, like, it rules living in the ocean, and it's better than not living in the ocean. That's a different kind of song. That's exciting. You know what I mean? I don't need to hear a love song or a song about how you're sad.

I want to hear a song about how you want to escape the tower you live in for one day and just walk around. That's a song, you know what I mean? I think every Disney. song should have to include an egg count of how many eggs that person can create. Useful context. Useful context tangled open. 7 a.m. the usual morning line up.

It's a perfect place for it. Then you got to name exactly how many eggs. Eat 30 eggs and then I go to read. Then go back to bed. Then I fart for an hour from the eggs. Then I go and I brush all my hair and eat five more eggs And then she put 30 eggs And then she didn't clarify what size eggs just them

But that one eggs for me It's a robin's mess that's just outside of her window Every day she harvest the robin's eggs That's all she has to eat It's not even about food anymore I just like egg Putting egg in me is the only time I feel happy I put an egg in me

I put an egg in me When you're hungry Eat some bread With an egg on top Or just an eat an egg instead Oh I put an egg in me Mr. I'll Put an egg

Inside you Eating eggs We'll start with a dozen eggs and some more. Okay, then we will try to eat an egg. All right, three dozen eggs, you monsters. You're gonna eat way more

than my friend, Lafou! I can't even eat eggs because I'm not as manly as Gaston. You can eat eggs. Lefou, like, no, I'm not nearly as strong and egg resistance as Gaston. I think in the intro to up, right before she dies, the wife should turn to the camera and be like, I can eat 12 eggs.

I want you to keep eating eggs, even after I'm gone. When I'm dead, promise me you'll still eat 24 eggs a day. Mr. where do all these empty egg curtains come from? It's a tribute to my wife. You ain't never ate an egg like me. Right. Let's see. Eat.

Our eggs eat our eggs This could be the rest of the show Damn that's why I'm trying to stop it honestly There's got to be a finite point at which we say It's time to go to the money zone Yeah This just feels like one of those bits where people are going to message us afterwards And be like how'd you forget about eat our eggs?

Yeah but like I know we could do a lot of these This gotta eat 10 eggs Okay You know what? Now we're going to have to go chronological. All right, after the break, we'll go chronologically, starting with Snow White, and we'll do just all of the Disney movies. We'll get eggs and all of them.

Eat eggs. Eat eggs. Eat eggs. All right. We're going to eat some eggs. It's gone. It's gone. Yeah.

Computers from the other side. Hey, get a Dell. Oh, wow. Dude, you're getting a Dell. That's very good. Yeah. It is so hard. I have bought so many gaming laptops over the years.

It's so hard to find. It's like this impossible triangle where it's like it's the right size, right cost, not too much heat, getting thrown off, not too noisy. There's so many ways it could go wrong. Go off king. That was it. Thank you. That's what it is. If you're going to do a go off king, Travis, it's important that you do it close to the front of the thing and not like right.

at the brain end. Oh, okay. Stop there, King. If you have been searching for a new option here, finally, Dell Alienware 15 is here. They designed this machine to refine the essentials, creating more focused gaming laptop for players who demand quality without the clutter. Griffin, listen to this. 15.3 inch 16.65 hertz display seamlessly into a portable 15-inch body.

Why can't I listen, Justin, why can't I listen to that? You're not going to be able to parse these numbers, dude. This is like black. How are they going to get a 15.3 inch screen on a 15 inch body? God damn, Del. You're ahead of the game, dude. It's really wild. These wizards, they got spacious in here, getting it all figured out.

You get a larger immersive window in your game that still easily travels with you. It's got a G4RTX 5060 GPU. And the RTX 50 series with Nvidia Max Q delivers draw. dropping graphics while optimizing battery life. Oh, so I can play all my like basic games because I'm not a real gamer. Yeah, Travis, you can also play basic games and do spreadsheets and stuff,

but like if you're getting in the Alienware 15, you're getting in there to shoot aliens. Like that's what you're there. I'm not here to play pinball in a galactic manner. I'm here to go through the galaxy and shoot it all the aliens with my space marine friends. I don't want to hurt aliens? Well, that's then, then fuck off.

This is the alienware experience. It's a really beautiful looking laptop too. You should check it out if you have not seen it. So visit alienware.com slash 15 today. It's the alienware experience stilled into one iconic machine. I just found out I will have to find my fifth new primary care doctor in seven years. Travis, what are you? do into these folks? I hope it's not me. Yeah. But one retired. One went to the Army Corps

of Engineers. One, switch practices. One, I called to get a prescription refill and they're like, oh, she quit two weeks ago. And I so reserved didn't say, oh, my God, what happened? Because you can't do that. No. I want to know. You want to know if it's because of you, if they were working on your bod, and they're like, it's too much, man. I'm fucking out. Well, I've seen the pinnacle. I've seen it doesn't get healthier than this. That's it. And here's the thing, guys. I need a new doctor, and I don't even know where to begin.

Wow. Well, good news, Travis, because Zok Doc is a sponsor, and it's crazy how many times we speak our needs. Yeah. And it just so happens that we have a sponsor right when we're saying. Especially in the middle of the show, that tends to happen a lot. Well, for me, it's because I'm really needy. I have so many needs that need filled. Yeah.

And you guys are my only resource to find those things. Yeah. No, so Zoc Doc is what I would recommend here. Federal option for sure. Because I've used Zoc Doc so many times here in our nation's capital where doctors are, you cannot find them without some help. They're really hidden. They're like in the back of a target.

That's what National Treasure 3 is about. Yeah, it's just him trying to find a primary care physician. It's quite difficult. But with Zoc Doc, you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. And it's free to use. They have over 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states and our nation's capital, which is not a state. But it's still important. Dude, tell me about it.

And you can book a one as fast. But you guys pay taxes. Dude, just stop because I'll fucking bust. I'll go nuts. I'll go absolutely nuts. You start talking about home rule. Usually within 20 to 4 to 72 hours. You can even score same-day appointments with Zoc Doc.

I've used it so many times to find doctors for me and my kids. And I can find them that my insurance covers. And I can book appointments right through the thing. And it genuinely could not be easier. It is my, I don't know, there's certain things, and I feel like we do these as sponsors sometimes, where it's just like, yeah, they figured it out. They figured out how to do doctor appointments the best. And so Zoc Doc is kind of my go-to.

I don't know if you really need a new doctor, Travis, or if that was just the I do. That's true. Oh, okay. Well, let me know how Zock-Doc goes because it's what I would tell you to do. Your health matters, Travis. And taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated, Travis. Find a book the right doctor with Zock-D-D-ROT.

Head to Zock.com slash my brother to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That's ZOC, do-com slash my brother. Oh, shit. Oh no, fuck What's wrong, guys? Hold on I'm getting a bunch of...

Ah, damn it. I'm getting a bunch of text from mean old Mrs. Studebaker. Oh, no. Oh, man, what's she on about? Dang. She's really blowing up my fucking spot. Dang.

Mean old Mrs. Studebaker is my music tutor. You guys remember Mean old Mrs. Studebaker from around the corner? Yeah, more like Tudabaker. I got... my fucking recital on Friday and she says I need to practice right now and I'm like I'm doing

this show right now I can't practice right now and she's just being a real shithead about I think she can hear us okay because she's like responding to this stuff in real time she's like you're gonna embarrass yourself she types so fast she does type really fast she's 70 years old and she typed super super duper fast I mean normally I would be like unprofessional yeah but I I would I mean I'm if you need practice, you know. I do. It's 20 make it stick. And like, I have this really bad habit of buying musical instruments and then not actually learning how to play them in any kind of capacity, like accordion banjo, mandolin. There's like a trail of dead instruments behind me that I just did not master. And I'm trying to be better with this one. And so I hired mean old Mrs. Studebaker,

but I'm regretting that big time because she's very bossy and very pushy. But she's the best. She's the fucking best. It's what you need. Trust the process. All right. Do you guys mind if I practice real quick? No, please do. This is John Bon Jovi's It's My Life.

Okay. Wow, wow. Wow. That's the intro, the talkbox intro to John Bon Jovi's. It's my life. Griffin, you've been learning the talk box? Yeah, I got a talk box. I bought a talk box for $150.

thinking this will be easy. Definitely learn your lesson. It couldn't be harder to use a talk box. Are you, really? Yeah, it's so loud in your mouth. It goes, the sound is so loud and it comes out so fast into your mouth, and it doesn't feel normal or right. Have you thought about recording, recording yourself playing the talk box into your talk boy?

No, I don't have one of those. I have a talk box for $150 that Ms. Studebaker is teaching me how to play. Are you choosing the notes or do you just shape your mouth around the sound? I can do different notes. Check this out. But it's in the key of C minor. It's my life. You can only do the intro, it's my life.

No, I can do other shit. I got... Oh, around the world. Well, what, Oada, what, a Wada? Can you try one more time? Around the world. No, it's not around the world. I do know what it is, but I'd love to hear a constant.

Okay, that was pretty good, actually. Is that the wrong octave? Do you feel like you're helping your brain right now? It looks like you're fighting a... It has to be mouth stuff for you, huh? It has to be mouth stuff. Griffin, it looks like you're a difficult patient fighting a feeding tube. I want to die.

Let me die. Wow. Wow. I don't think they do that part. They don't do bomb-ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-dh. You just get such a big kind of sigh when you were done. Is it physically? Yeah, Trav, I can't breathe while I'm fucking doing it.

This is what I don't understand. This is full of my spit now. I'm gagging on this thing fucking nonstop. It doesn't feel right to have the sound come in my mouth. So in charge to $150 for a plastic tube. That's a big problem. There's a big box, too. You don't see the big box.

That would have been a great shot. So those are my two. Next time you're planning a shot that features the talk box prominently. Yeah, I have another. I have an original song. Oh, good. That I'm going to perform. I think I'm a recital on Friday.

You guys are coming, right? Yeah, I'll be there. Yeah, I'm going to zoom in. This one's called North Dakota Fun. Hold on. Hold on. Now, hold on. Do you have to find the note in your mouth?

What are you looking at? you for when you're digging around. I don't understand the repositioning the tap. I can do sort of Arizona Sun. So it's kind of like, I can do a medley of... One syllable descriptor. I think... I just don't know how to make the sounds come out right.

I don't know how to make words yet. And it sounds so cool when daft punk does it. And it sounds so cool when John Bon Jovi does it. I actually appreciate John Bon Jovi because he really just goes, He gets down there And it's like, he knows what he's fucking doing But those deaf punk guys, I don't know how the fuck they do it, gang? They're robots.

Have you seen them? It's maybe built into the helmet. Ooh, that's really, I like that. Yeah, give me a work it, make it. I don't know the next one. Why is it? Why is it taking so much muscles in your face to do this, Griffin? You don't know what it requires of him.

No, I'm asking. It looks immensely painful. I'm not ready for work it, make it do it better, faster. That's a lot. That's a big, that's got to be like the flight of the bumblebee for the talk box. Yeah. All right, well, I'll keep working on it. That was a really, Gervin, I'm impressed, though.

It was a really good start. Yeah, I can almost do California love. And I can do the bow wow of John Bon Jovi. But I'm going to stick with it. This is my promise is that I spend $150 on this and I want to get content out of this machine. And so I got to learn how to play it. Also, Miss Duda Baker, she'll kick my fucking ass if I don't do a good job on Friday. I mean, on the content front, you're already ahead of the game because, like, you just made great content.

There's not a famous talkbox podcaster that I know of, but I haven't left. And I feel like I love. going to see live music and I've always thought like I'd love to be up there but I can't play riffs on guitar I can't but there's maybe if talk box box box becomes a big thing talk box talk box talk men talk talk talk men is pretty is something that sounds like something we said earlier earlier yeah absolutely it sounds like something we said earlier in the show so how long was I put in the talk box just now because it felt like 15 uninterrupted minutes this is about four four minutes yeah it was a good four just an exposed nerve type four that was

That was brave. I agree. As a big fan of the spooky season, I love going to the haunted house near my apartment. However, the problem is, I usually go alone. I walk very quietly and I'm goth. That means at least one person a year will scream upon turning around and seeing me. Brothers, what am I supposed to do in the situation? That's from accidentally terrifying in Toronto. You say, don't worry, I'm one of the good ones.

I'm on your side. Follow me. We're getting out of here. And then you fight your way out. Like Blade. You're like Blade for scary people. Oh, that's scary too. I'm a daywalker. There's one thing you didn't know about me. I'm also scary. Well, a Blade Goth would be like, don't worry, I listen to Dave Matthews band.

I also still like the music of Jason Maras. Yeah, because I have two ears and a heart. Doesn't match my aesthetic, really, but I can do both things. Yeah, I have a foot in both worlds. I'm going to get you out of here. Hold on to my Hello Kitty backpack. That's right. It's not Karomi.

It's a little kitty. I'm the day walker. I think of the things you've told me about yourself, you go to the thing alone, you walk very quietly, and you're goth. The easiest thing to fix is the walking very quietly. Yeah. And I think that you can fix that. I mean, I think got folks throughout history, at least when I was in high school, came up with ways of doing this, what with wallet chains and other types of chains. Not that easy, Griffin.

Steampunk Akutra Mok can make a lot of noise. You might try headphones that are turned up far too loud. Yeah. Is it a good one? The chains, Griffin, is an issue because it's a haunted house. Jangly chains does not mean less spooky. I think finger symbols as you walk around maybe, a triangle. Finger symbols is a way cooler.

No, man, if I'm sorry, if I'm at a haunted house and I see someone dressed up like DeCrow. and they've got, I'm gonna think those must be cursed little symbol. It seems cursed, yeah. Harmonica? A harmonica? creepy. Creepy?

One man band. Fidget spinner? Fidget spinner's cool, yeah. Light up fidget spinner that makes a noise like it's not scary. It's just like clearly. Unless it's like a huge one with blood on it. And then you can use it to like look around.

Like this is the only source of light I have. Yeah, we're finding our way out of here. This fidget spinner sounds awesome. I wish I had it. Yeah, man. So cool. So bright. Light up novelty glasses.

I can imagine. Let's have a contest to see who can print out the best, the best, most functional fidget spinner the fastest. No, if I try, my kids swoop in from out of nowhere and take it before I can get any pictures. Papa can't make nothing on the 3D printer without these kids rolling up and be like, make me a whole action figure. Okay. All right. I guess. Fuck.

Make me a little lizard. God damn it. Okay. I made the mistake of a couple times, like we'd be at a toy. or like a craft fair or whatever. And my kids are going to buy something like, we don't need to buy that, I'll just 3D print it at home. And now my kids believe that I can 3D print any toy they see.

Oh, dude, yeah. And my office, and I've done very little to combat this impression in my child's minds, but it's Mr. McGorium's Wonder Emporium up in here. And I can't say like, this is where Daddy does this business, but don't touch his adult Legos or 50 video game consoles or infinite toy machine. You cannot. This is Daddy's serious joke business that he does. You can't play with the video.

Maybe just comes in my office and says, it's a mess in here. How do you walk around? And I say, I don't. I record. Yeah, I work. I make the donuts. I make the donuts.

Maybe you need like bouncy, happy friends with you. So, I mean, they said in the question they're alone. And that to me feels like the hardest thing to fix. Just get a job at the haunted house. Okay. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like if you like spooky season and it's close to your house, you could earn some money doing the thing you're doing right now. Get paid for it.

Just start working there. Do what you love. Just become a part of it through your actions. Find a little nook that no one's using for scary. You start scaring. Then at the end of the day, go out to the boss and be like, hey, I didn't get my paycheck last week. Boom. You've got a job now.

There's no way that would work. That you are not allowed to do unlicensed. scares, they will clock that immediately and they got insurance. They can't have some unlicensed scorer in there untrained. Raise your hand if you have worked at four different haunted houses. That's Griffin? I just don't talk about it. I'm embarrassed, but I, you forced my hand. I've worked in exactly four haunted houses. I was a professional scorer, Griffin, and I don't think you have the bona fides. Yeah. That's true. That is true. I scared Jonah Hill once.

I played Lil Pinhead, and I scared Jonah Hill, too. That's crazy. He did not scare Jonah Hill. I did, dude. I worked in four hot houses and played Lil Pinhead. The sequel to Jonah Hill. Jonah Mountain. I came out.

That's what he evolves. We got big and strong for that role. It's a shame we didn't think of that joke then. But yeah, I was a little pinhead. I scared him. I came out, and I was like, we're going to put hooks in your body in hell. And he was. And that was part of it.

of a haunted house? They sell those shirts at Walmart now that say, I'm gonna put hooks in your body in Hill and a picture of a little pinhead on there. They'll sell those to you. Yeah. And that's Griffin.

Who did not. That's Griffin in the suit every time you see it. Huh. The voice is usually Jim Hanks, Tom Hanks' brother. But if you see the little pinhead, that is always Griffin.

Not big pinhead. Not big pinhead. But if you keep out it, Griffin, you might get a promotion. Hellraiser really is like Clyde Barker was trying to think of like what the next scary thing was going to be and he just kind of threw it. It was sort of everything bagel of horror.

He's like, yeah, it's a hell demons and they come out and they hurt your body. Have you even watched the movies, Griffin? Are you too little? I've seen the movies. I know all about. Oh, really, Griffin is, have you seen the movies like you were totally little pinhead? Or are you just lying about this too? No, I've seen it.

I've read the novelization. Tell me the scariest. Three parts in all the Hellraiser. Sure, man. The guy gets his hands on the devil's cube. He pushes the wrong button. And then Hell hooks come and they get in his body. Okay, I haven't, don't spoil them, though.

I haven't seen it. Like, I haven't, don't spoil it. How high does hell, how high does hell get? 600 meters. Whoa, they raise that shit up. I've seen Little Nikki twice, which equals one, hellraiser movie. That sounds like a hell kind of experience. Yeah, I'd rather have hell hooks put in my body and have dogs eat my bones.

But you saw it a second time, Griffin. That's where I'm confused. This isn't even true either. He's lying about this. I haven't lied. I have not lied so far this episode. I don't think that, Griffin, I don't actually think that anything you said today has been true, but I want you to know that this is true. We got some merch in the merch store.

Oh, that is true. That's true. You can go to Macquaradmerch.com and you can get a duber sweetleaf tea. there's a super Macquarie Brothers logo pin. It's a lot if you say sweet leaf tea. That's true. That's actually a really good point. It's a T-shirt.

A commemorative t-shirt. There's a don't talk to my brother, my brother-me-ever-again hat. And 10% of all March proceeds this month are going to be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights, which works to protect reproductive health, self-determination, and dignity as basic human rights. Also, this week,

the Bessie's live on Broadway. October 9th at the town hall in NYC, there's still a few tickets available if you go to bit.ly slash besties on Broadway. Also, we have news. Big good news, I think, at least. Or at least it's big and good. Or at least it's something people have been asking for for a long time. We are going to be offering YouTube channel memberships for $5 a month. That means to you that you will finally be able to watch full.

video episodes of my brother, my brother, and me from now on. On the YouTube. We said it wouldn't happen. We said it wouldn't happen, but you just kept asking, so we're doing it. And if you don't like it, you cannot get mad at us. Because it's not the only thing that you can check out. But you will like it. You will like it.

And you're going to get more, though. It's not just the episodes. That's true. You can watch full video episodes. What else? What else, guys? You also get early access to other video content, like Monster Factory, just as technically competent.

And more. And more. More. More. Our goal is to have video episodes of Mbimba. I'm out two days after the audio version's release, so usually Wednesdays. And it's, I'm very excited for this to be out there because people have wanted it for a while. It's been a bit prohibitive for us to do these full episodes, but now they're here.

Nothing else will change. The shows will not be more visual than they used to be. You're not going to be missing out on anything. If you don't join, it's just an option. It's there free if you want it. Enjoy. Macroy Family on YouTube. If you go to YouTube,

search Macroy Family, you'll find it. And if you haven't done that already, we do so many good videos there. We do streams and stuff. Come check it out. You could just go there to support. If you want to just kick in five bucks a month

to support that video stuff, that's, that's, you like the video. We appreciate you. Thank you. Sick. Sick.

Thank you. Thanks also to Montane for the use for a theme song, My Life is better with you. I love this track, and I love Montaigne's music, and it's just an honor to continue

to be able to use this song for this purpose. I can't throw the talk box. I have a pair of glasses here I could throw. No, seems unwise. Go for it. Yeah. We don't have something. I want it to matter.

You want it to matter? Glasses don't matter? I haven't done something in a while. Hold on. Okay. Hey, I'm going to throw the Bible. Yeah. Yeah.

Why do you have the Bible at arm's reach? It's the extreme faith teen Bible. Yeah, sure, of course. Three, two, one. Ooh, that was a... My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. Griffin McElroy.

This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, square on the lips. Maximum Fun. A Worker Own Network of Artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.