My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBMaM 804: Aaron Space, Boy Astronaut

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

We're well-rested and our limb movements are OFF THE CHARTS, so we're ready to breathe out advice about confusingly-themed weddings, secret Arby's concerts, and a pressing need for Dr Pepper. Suggested talking points: Cool Pap, Hot Crunchy Cuboid Chips, Doubledocs for a Buck, Squarespace is My Dad, Beef Racer, Vegan + Arbys Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool, baby? It's the start of something into a precious friendship. It feels love. Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What's up, Trave Nation? It's me, your middle, Travis, Big Dog, Wolf, Vroom, Vroom, the heater, McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin, 30 under 30, media, luminary, built forward, tough. Randy Johnson, McElroy. You need something pitching, like some sort of, like, throwing your baseball or... If you don't mind me saying, Trave, you look so well-rested. That's true.

Is that in my head or do you have a little bit of the glow? No, I've got the glow, Justin, because I, and I don't want to brag, got myself a C-Pap. More like an A-plus Papp, if you ask me. That's right. I imagine C stands for something pretty important. Like, cool. It's cool. What the C-Pap means cool PAP, right?

Correct. Yeah, cool. What did your body do the first time you strapped a mask to your face and you're like, and now we sleep? Was your body like, ah, interesting. I don't believe so. You have a head belt on, and that's new for me as sleep. The first thing my face did is what I imagine someone in the alien film franchise feels when a face hugger latches on where all you want to do is claw at your head and free yourself from it.

And then the second thing my body did, because I was instructed by the person who gave me the mask and whatnot, it has like a negative pressure thing. You know, it's blowing, basically it's blowing air into my nose and then kind of also, when I breathe out, pulling out. Oh man, that's fucking dope. You can just like chill and not even breathe.

That's so sick. And then they were like... Good for the earth? Good for you. Yeah, man. Yeah. And then they were like, but you're going to want to keep your mouth closed

because if you open your mouth while it's on, air will pour out of your mouth. Cool. nose air. Yeah. It's like a dragon. It feels like if I open my mouth while I have my C-Pave on, uncontrollably,

all the air just shoots out of my mouth. So as soon as I put... It's like the machine from Princess Bride. It's just like pumping the air through you. A thousand percent. As soon as I put it on, my ADHD brain was like, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth, open your mouth. You gotta know the sound it makes.

Travis. Create the vacuum, create the vacuum. Look at the sun. Look at the sun. Your ADHD won't let you sleep until you open your mouth so I can hear what sound it makes. And so when I opened my mouth, it was like, imagine a film where there's like an evil demon or something pulling the life essence out of a human being. It was that.

It felt like that. Like everything was being pulled out of me. But then it was good, right? Like eventually it was like super good. Well, the other thing that's fun about having ADHD and a CPAP is the CPAP is monitoring. A lot of letters. Is it your eight letters deep at that point? A lot of letters, Chad.

Maybe you should just take a sleeping pill, huh? You know, it's a lot of letters. No, no, this is the thing, Justin, this is fun. It's not exactly the sleep. That's the problem. My random limb movements are off the charts, baby. Anything above 15 an hour is abnormal. I was averaging in 49 an hour.

So I'm just mixed with Kung Fu fighting. Yeah, man, I'm over here flailing around. And so the CPAP is remote. Wait, wait, real quick, real quick. Let's just get a handle the ball. I bought jokes a massage. I bought jokes a five-minute massage. So I let him actually go get that.

That's good. Cool. I was really struggling with those random limb movements. I might have been my brain meds. I don't know. That was part of the theory. But you know what actually helped me is, magnesium.

Okay. Wow. Holy shit. Hey, I got a real chill jokes out of the room. I got an actual chill up my spine just now.

I got a real chill up my spine. I don't know if it's from like, oh God, this is incredibly vulnerable for our audience, or I don't know if it's because I'm looking at Ghost of Christmas future

and more future and some fucking magnesium and cyber nose implants. That was so mean. Okay. It's just, but to be fair, It is a fun thing about having a three-year gap between each of us is you can kind of chart like, well, I better start saving for that.

Hey, Griffin, you should be so lucky. You're 42. You're 42. You're 42. Yeah? Okay. I got, I'm setting the timer. That's how long I got before I need the implants.

And then juice a few years after that, thanks for having the same birthday. Makes it real easy for me. Magnesium all day. So it's remotely monitored. I wish I'd started it sooner. And Griffin, you will also have the Spider-Man surgery to look forward to. We get the wrist cut up. I should get that done.

Yeah. Yeah, Trave, how, how's the sleep been lately? How's it been? So it's remotely monitored. If I don't wear it for four hours a night, 21 nights out of 30, you take it away. So that's a fun thing to know when I am still waking up in the middle of the night. And then I have to do mental calculations real quick to see if I can take the mask off yet or not.

Yeah, that's cool. Wait, what are you doing? talking about. They take it away. What do you mean? Or I guess I have to pay for it out of pocket or whatnot. I don't know. Oh, is it like you're not, you're a bad boy who's not following? Yeah, I'm just renting the CPAP machine. I'm renting that good sleep air. And I imagine that's the insurance company making that decision and not the medical professionals. I have to assume so. I think, can I tell you my CPAP thoughts as an outsider. Now that you've experienced it, you can tell me how. Yes, please. But to me, I, somebody who's done a medical history podcast for,

13 years. To me, the CPAP machine has always been like super helpful for the... It's been a game changer, a life changer for the people that need it. But it has always seemed to me like one of the main machines that future people are going to be like, what was this?

Nice try, guys. Yeah, I mean, they'll have some way of sending nanomachines. Yeah, of course. And guess what? Fuck off future people. We don't have nanom machines. We're doing our fucking best thing. We're doing our fucking best. Justin Jr. Come on, Duke.

60 people. Get out of our butt cracks for a second. We didn't have nanomachines. We had to pump it in there. Do you know our president is the guy from apprentice? Are you guys fucking kill? We're doing our god damn best value. The guy in charge of medicine

is RFK Jr. You're lucky. You got to exist. Yeah. Actually, history, if you're looking back at this with research, go away. Go away. You can't be your standards. We all know that in a lot. Everything's fucking weird.

so bad in a new, different way, literally every morning when we wake up, so fuck off future people. You don't even get it. So if you're in the future and you're thinking, they thought it was all normal, but now we look back, no. No, dude, we fucking get it for sure.

For sure. I'm going to be honest, I was hanging a lot of hopes on the, see, I'm a 42-year-old man. Oh, no, dude, of course. You thought this was the thing? Every time I get a new thing, the doctor's like, oh, I think it's this. I'm like, this is going to fix it all.

I'm going to wake up tomorrow. I'm going to feel fucking amazing. And then it's like, no, we're still just trying to maintain a level of okay based on your constant, you know, failing. We're going to try to get you back to where you were at 24 when you could stay up past 11. That's all we can try to shoot for at this point. Yeah. So now I've got a bike guard. I've got CPAP.

I guess I'm taking magnesium. Now, here's what I'm, my whole thing was C-PAP. I'm more, I'm more plastic than man. Sorry, go on. My news, my septum's like fucking crazy. My septum's like going absolutely hogwild in there. So my breathing's never been great. I used breathing machines, not machines, like strips and magnets and all that jazz.

I do think a seatepad would be maybe something helpful for me. But also, I'm kind of waiting until they got screens on them. I'm kind of waiting until it's like a full like, like a full wraparound, half head. sort of, I guess, more futuristic, VR, AR. That's actually a good, as long as we're there, Trave, can you do, like, scent blasted yet? Can you do, like, nach cheese air? Like at one of those cool hip oxygen bars that are definitely still a thing. They don't advertise that with the product, but God damn it, if I haven't thought about it, man, I think I totally could.

I got a hose. My hose comes out of the top of my head of the mask. Oh, that's cool. I can just fully flip around in my dollar store Bain cosplay. And it's all I want is for that to smell like some sick-ass eucalyptus or whatever. Yeah. The first time your kids come in while you're wearing it in the middle of the night, how are you going to avoid the temptation to not pretend you're the predator?

Because I definitely would be like, you're like, you're welcome to my room, baby. Yeah. Yes. It's me, your daddy. The difference between you and me, Beebe, Is you're afraid of the dog And I was born in it

And I need this to breathe And not flannel around In the middle of the night Teresa also has ones So we have his and hers matching Like masks and see that's cute Do you guys wrap your elbows around When you put them on it

Yeah sometimes the tubes Sloped to each other's Like you know it's really romantic They looped each other's tubes In an infinity symbol that's on the wall It's like a decorative tubing That's cute So now if our children

They leave notes I can only imagine, like, years from now, Dot will be like, all I can remember is my parents in these alien pods. I don't know what data was being transmitted through their noses. What if you've got a pipe organ in the back, like, as your headboard, and you had the tubes, like, coming out of that. That would look like badass, dude. Fuck, dude, that'd be awesome.

That would be so cool. This is an advice show, and we are, my advice, take care of your human body. The only one you do. Especially earlier the better. Magnesia, magnesium, pound it. You could probably track some of the lifestyle advice we were giving in 2010 at our current situation and like draw a flow chart to like the repercussions of that. Yeah.

When my scalp is going buck wild and I am fucking fighting it tooth and nail and then I go back to episode one of my bin-band where I'm like shampoo and soap is the same thing. I'm like Jesus Christ, man. That's why. actually cool to be able to draw, like draw, I can submit episode one of my Bim Bam as medical history to my dermatologist. I'd be like, this is why my scalp is the way it is. I used to think shampoo and soaps was the same. Time to do a question. I work at a large public library. Thank you to our librarians. I went to a public library this week and it was a beautiful one, the Caval County Public

Library, if you ever been to that branch. Brag. Gorgeous. I know. It's great. You guys remember that Library? Yeah, man. Support our libraries, I guess. I work at a large public library. Only one vending machine in the employee break room has Dr. Pepper. Several times now, the beverage has failed to fall after I've already paid for it. Doesn't happen every time, so I keep falling for it.

A man comes in to restock the vending machine once every one to two weeks. Brothers, how do I tell this man he owes me several Dr. Pepper's. Can I ask him for one while he's restocking, or do I take my losses and pick a different soda? That's from parched and pepperless in Rochester. I think you can do it once. But if every time this person comes in to restock, you're like, happened again. Yeah. It's going to seem like a scam even if it's true.

You can't do several at once, right? Because I think the onus is on you. If it happens once, I think that's life, right? And you can be upset about that. but if you continue to pump bucks into the Dr. Pepper machine, and you know that you're just addicted to gambling at that point. You know it's not going to hit sometimes. Yeah.

Now, they did say in additional details that it was high up so they couldn't get another drink to knock it down. But you could get a second Dr. Pepper to knock that first Dr. Pepper down the shoot. Then you have two Dr. Pepper's. Yeah. One's not going to go to waste. Yeah.

That's true. Yeah. Well, but do you think that the next person gets one, it's like a dub? Yeah. And it's like double docks. You got to wait. You got to wait for the next person to come and get Dr. Pepper. And when they get a dub, you're like, one of those is mine. One of those double docks is mine. Please. You got dub a dox for a buck. That sucks. That sucks. Every time one gets stuck, you're going to want to take a picture of it with like today's newspaper next to it. And then you can show that. to the vending machine person and be like, here's proof that they were held hostage for me. Please return my sons. That's so embarrassing. The one thing that it's such, that's such an easy business to be in, honestly, the vending machine business.

Yeah. Like, podcasting is easier granted, but like the vending machine thing, all you got to do is make sure that big boy pays out every time. And if you're like, hey, the big boy didn't pay out this time. Yeah. as a vending machine operator, that shouldn't just be a hassle of the job. It should be job one. Yeah.

You've failed in the one thing. You know what I mean? I mean, the only other maintenance request I personally have is just no products in there that they don't make anymore. I don't care if things are expired or past their prime. I get that. But like I don't want to roll up to a viny machine and one of the options is Fruitopia. Because then I know that everything else in that vending machine is probably pretty suspect. Sometimes an operator, this happens with new operators a lot.

You'll read about it in the trades where they will want to position the machine at what they think of as more of an extreme angle. Yeah, dude. So it's more of like a lean. And that creates an incredibly dangerous situation. So that is actually the biggest problem is of any machine owner. Number one is don't let them fall on fire. Yes. That's like, don't put it at like a funny angle or something like an extreme angle.

You guys know how especially during Shark Week, week, people like to quote the statistic that fewer people are killed by sharks each year than are killed by when vending machines fall on them. And do you think that the vending machine owners and operators of America are like, what the fuck, man? Why are we out here catching strays, dude? We've never thrown shit at sharks. Yeah, we didn't ask for this. Why are you out here? You know what else causes more death than vending machines? Like, heart disease, like a bunch of shit. So why are we catching a strings out here, dude? We're just trying to fling Andy Caps hot fries at anyone with a buck,

and I don't understand they don't make those anymore. Shit. Did they still make Andy Caps hot fries? I'm certain. I think they just don't make Andy Capp anymore. I love that there's, I love Andy Caps out here, and he's making snacks, and I love snacks. Fries is such a wild thing to call that treat.

Those are not even close, my guy. Not even close. Well, that's just another thing. for him and his wife to argue about. Why was he the one that they were like, we need a mascot for our hot, crunchy chips? Our hot, crunchy cuboid

chips. They were like, what about famous spouse arguer, Andy Cap? They're crunchier than you want to be. They're hotter than you want to be. They're kind of snack you eat when you just want to feel something. And that's Andy Cap's energy, right? They were already using

the lockhorns for pretzel bites. So they were like, we'd eat somebody. Who else hates their wife? These are Midwestern Tockeys, and they're, we gotta get Andy. Get Andy. We got to get Andy for these. I like the ones where like, you think about the Flint, you ever think about the Flintstones like that? Like, contextually, there's not a, you know, there's not a cartoon.

People aren't watching it. The kids aren't watching that, but they do make vitamins and cereal. What a wild character. Just so wild, man. Yeah, one of the things that I knew about growing up were this dinosaur family that sold you vitamins and cereal. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, why?

I do think they went with the Pebbles connection there. I do think everyone else kind of just kind of slid into the role. But there's not, I'm trying to think of like, there's not like, oh, there used to be a Tricks Rabbit cartoon. Yeah. That was famous, like, BB and Dot,

we were eating some Coco Pebbles. And they were like, who are those people? And I was like, great question. And I don't know how to explain this in a way that won't make you question my understanding of human history. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to get it right. Have another question.

Please. This is, we're helping. I feel like we're really actually on a role. We've done one. For helping. Well, I'm chaperon. We've done one. Oh, I guess the magnesium thing.

Okay. I'm chaperoning a high school trip to D.C. in March. What are some ways I can alleviate any potential boredom in my students while touring the city? I would like to have small games or side quests ready. if they start to get disinterested during a museum tour. For context, we're going to some very cool places

like air and space and natural history and some less interesting. I have no control over the itinerary. That's from Flummoxed in Florida. Yeah. What's great about the Washington monument is that it's really tall

and you can see it from a lot of parts of the city depending on where you are. So that could be a good like, there it is again. look over there peeking up peeking over that uh that building that's still the washington monument sometimes they put big crazy incredibly unbelievably gaudy laser displays up on it for its two hood for the country's 250th birthday um but there it is right there again still there i know we're in arlington

you can still see that tall motherfucker he's so big do you think when you're like a high school teacher or a high school chaperone stuff like that do you think you have to actively try to like observe and figure out like the storylines that are playing out between the students. I don't think that's part of it. In fact, I think they would probably prefer you don't do that. This is what I'm saying. Do you have to actively do it or do you think it's unavoidable that you're like, I wish I didn't know that these people were like they both like them and they actually like them. They cannot have some understanding of that though. That's just disinterest. Yeah. Right. You have to have some understanding of the nuance to be.

able to lead. Yeah, I think if you don't understand the politics of the group. Do you guys ever volunteer to like chaperone field trips? Henry's on a field trip today. And like, they're always kind of looking for chaperones, but I never think I would do a good enough job of it that I've, that I actually do a volunteer. I think I would do a great job at that. My problem is that there would be other parents there and they had an event or something where they all learned each other's names that I didn't go to. Yeah. Yeah, they went to the pancake. They went. They went to the pancake luncheon that you got

nine fucking emails about. They did meet up at the pancake luncheon. Hey guys, it's gotten bad, man. My kids have been

in school for a while. These parents know what each other does for work and stuff. Yeah. Real. Oh, dude. I'm falling way behind.

You know what I mean? Like, some of my dudes play like golf together or flag football or some shit. Yeah, man. I'm falling way behind.

Sometimes I'll roll up on the playground and I'll see like two different parents from two different families, like, hug when they see each other. What? What? I see them casually start a conversation.

No choices were made, no effort happens. Dude, crazy. They just start talking to each other, and I'm like, how do you know? Give each other, give each other a, hey, from across the playground. Holy shit, guys. Set each other's name with confidence. Like, Mark. Yeah.

What? Whoa. You got that ice cold. That was like 20 meters. Other friends who aren't there. Yeah. You guys have, outside of you two having to talk to each other's parents, know a third party? That's wild, man.

That's wild. Do you ever see two people? Oh, my God. I was partied to this last weekend. Do you ever hear two people that don't know each other and have just met trying to figure out the connections that they have? Like, did you know this person? Or did you go to this time at this school? Oh, my God.

Throw me through a plate glass window, Mom. I'm out. Yeah. No, thank you. So, man. DC. DC, Griffin. Tell them the real DC.

Yeah, what do you look for? Behind the curtain. If they hadn't said I have no control over the itinerary, I'd love to provide. Planet Word is my favorite museum. First of all, says who? You got two legs and a voice, you know? Yeah, that's true. Who says you got no control over the itinerary?

If you're like this way, kids, I think that they're all holding on to one of those little, like, long ropes. That they make high schoolers do. Take them to planet word. It's about the history and mechanisms of language. It's great, interactive. It's my favorite museum in the city. Air and space, rips, they're always updating that shit. You can go in touch.

Guys, I smelled the moon. They actually, what? Smell the moon. Yeah, I went to, the Air and Space Museum has like a little thing and it's covered by a dome and it's got a little bit of moon rock in there. I mean, I think they want you to touch it, but I put my face way down in there and I smelled it. And my kids yelled at me. My kids said, you're not allowed to do that.

Yeah, that'll happen. I didn't get much. I didn't get much of an aroma. I am also proud to announce that the Air and Space Museum has finally started stalking my astronaut detective fiction novel, Aaron Space. Boy, astronaut. Yeah, yeah. That is an exciting development for me. Aaron Space is in those stores.

How many volumes deep are you? Is the Aaron Space? I have written six and published a novella of the first half of one. So I'm, it's an outline. Okay. There's more of an outline. right now for air and space. Pokemon Go.

Yeah, that's a good one. That's not bad. In most cities, there's a great pokey stop density in D.C. where there's like monuments and shit on every corner, you're getting pokeballs and potions and revives and raid tickets and shit left and right.

It's crazy. I'm also willing to bet that the like per square mileage hauntings of D.C. is pretty high. So you can learn about the haunted history of places and try to catch a ghost. We took a ghost tour in DC, Trow. What?

We took a ghost tour in D.C. We took a ghost to a Philadelphia. Yeah, but I was checked out for a lot of it. No. No. Did we do it in D.C.? Yeah. You weren't there because you had to be with your kids

or whatever. Oh. Dorcas. They're scared of ghosts. They're scared of ghosts. Oh, what's the the mansion, the manor on O Street? Mmm, that's a good museum.

Oh, that's how. Kids maybe aren't gonna understand a lot of the stuff going on in there. Maybe they're not like huge fans of, I don't know, one room is old anime stuff. And then one room is like, this is the Jimmy Hendricks room. Crazy.

Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? It's awesome. One joke at a time. Please, I'm just one man. I can't laugh at two jokes at the same time. I just had a follow-up question. So if Travis has a joke, that would add to the overall joke count for the episode.

And I'd love to get our JPM up. Yeah. Are you allowed to bring a metal detector with you? because I'm sure it's frowned upon but I doubt there's something in the handbook that says you can't bring a metal detector with you. Yeah, what are you expecting to find? I guess if you wonder the National Mall,

there's probably, I mean, you probably... A lot of history. Yeah. Some like... You could... Peace sign medallions. You think you could start talking now about how you've heard

many works of art in museums or fakes. And then once you're there, just start out of haphazerly like, that one. That one. Look right here. Right here, this is a crayon part. They did this with crayon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, if you look here in the National Portrait Gallery, Mr. Bean did come through and he destroyed the Obama portrait by a series of silly accidents. And he did paint it back up with a poster and some lacquer. You can see the signs of Mr. Bean's work here, here, and here. Point at every piece of art you see and attribute its existence to Dolly Madison saving it.

Uh-huh. Just see how many of those you can get away with. And we wouldn't have that if it weren't for Dolly Madison. Yeah. Thanks, Dolly Madison. You could have a map of the world and have your students mark the different places that the works of art they've seen are from. Yeah. So they could kind of see all the diverse locations that, hold on one second.

Jokes! Get back in. Massage is over, buddy. Jesus Christ, jokes, you're running up the fucking massage bill. It's supposed to be five minutes. Dude, what the fuck? Five minutes, dude? Put your pants on!

Jokes! You could try to plan a hypothetical National Treasure everywhere you go. Now, I was about to go to National Treasure. Yeah. And you could hire someone who kind of looks like Nicholas Cage and have him sort of sneak around the corner at different parts of the city where you're not stopping. So you have that little interstitch like everyone keep an eye out for whatever that guy's name is.

I think his name is Nicholas Treasure in the movie. His name? Oh no, hold on. Do it. Benjamin Franklin something. Benjamin Franklin Gallagher? Something like that. You're also going to need to hire a Sean Bean look like to be the evil guy.

Benjamin Franklin. Gates. Benjamin Gates. Ben Gates. Ben Gates. Cool name. That was like a million great ass suggestion. Like these fucking...

That's like we're helping so many people. It's kind of weird. Yeah, that's not just applicable to this. You can use it in any circumstance. Hey, listen, we're on fire. Let's take this energy and direct it towards capitalizing where it belongs. To the money zone! Have you been doodling what would Pokemon look like as people for years now,

and you've gotten really good at it, and you want to sell your art online? Have I got an idea for you? Squarespace. Do you do this? Do I? Yeah. No, I have no artistic. ability outside of architectural drawings.

I've done what would Pokemon look like as buildings, and it doesn't it just doesn't convey the same kind of power or sexuality. Yeah. Some Pokemon's is buildings now. What? Is that true? Yeah, they're making Pokemon's at everything. What's that?

People living inside the Pokemon? People don't live in them, they just turn into big buildings. But they don't live in them. That seems like such a waste. Squarespace is the best way to make a website and put it online and have people think you're a professional and then also, you know, have those people pay you for your goods and services that you offer on this incredible looking website. We've been obviously advertising with Squarespace for many years now. It's probably the longest and healthiest relationship

any of us have ever had. But Squarespace also is something... Definitely the most supportive. The Squarespace we've used many times to build websites for ourselves, our brands, are jokes. So many places we've had to use Squarespace's services. And I say had to. I mean get to because it's fun. It's simple drag and drop sort of functionality, beautiful world-class design templates,

any kind of tools for payment or like appointment, scheduling or whatever you need your site to do. Dang, Squarespace is going to make it look good. Have you guys ever noticed, dad has never sponsored an episode of My Brother, My Brother, My Brother, and Me, And Square Space has many, many, many, many. Yeah, I have noticed that. And you know what?

Dad takes money from us. Yeah. Squarespace gives us money to talk about their product. And Dad only takes money. That gave us money earlier, like before. Yeah, but that was when I didn't need it. I was a child. I didn't need money when I was a child.

What was I buying? They should have held on to that money and gave it to you later when you needed it. They were wasting it on you as a kid. Yeah, I would have loved the 25. cumulative dollars Clint McRoy ever gave me now. Drag his ass. Wow, dad. Three bucks.

In this economy? Three bucks, huh? Merry Christmas to me. Anyway, head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I want a Munch Squad. I want to Mountain Squad. Welcome to Munch Squad's podcast,

and then podcast, Profiling, the latest and grace of brand eating Arby's and racing Arby's. Arby makes me, when I eat Arby, it makes me go fast. Arby goes fast? Arby's kicks off the meat in three box pit stops. to, and this is a quote, fuel the masses. Cool, dude. That feels like a lot of words, and by the end of it, I don't know any more information than I knew at the beginning.

Yeah. Since launching the 799 Meat and three box, that's what it's called. Meat in three. Meat and three is the three delicious treats and your big meaty sandwich. When you eat my meat and three. there's uh yeah they announced it with master real estate i have to this is ghoulish i you know i don't want to get down i don't want to get all these freaking side tangents every time we do these things guys but people are just like out here doing stuff yeah these are the real estate people that

announced the meat and three box they're not are we all doing okay those aren't real people yeah they're real people that it's anyway anyway so the mean three box is three is a meat and three things. And they're trying to find a way, this is again in the press release, Arbys has been hard at work to find a way to bring the meats to more fans. We used to have decorum.

Yeah, sure. You know? We're going to bring you the meats, you dirty dogs. The solution, eight Arby's sponsored, NASCAR O'Reilly, auto parts, series races, three race car drivers,

and multiple meat and three box pit stops along the way. It must be so embarrassing for a brand. to not be able to sponsor a whole car. Don't you think that must be embarrassing when Arby's is like, check out our Arby's car and fucking Sonoco's on there too

and tied dishwashing pods and Duracell batteries. But it's mostly us so you can cause the beef racer if you want. Yeah. Not the beef and battery racer because Duracel calls it the battery racer

but it's really the beef racer. It's the beef racer. Things are tough right now. Lots of people go on vegan. We can't afford a whole NASCAR car. We want to bring you the meats, but we have to bring the meats. We have to make space for them. Damn vegans.

Keep making a stop. You don't have to eat them, but we just hold them. Just buy a couple. Just smell our meat. You might, then you might like it. What if you're vegan plus Arby's? Huh? You could use it for other stuff.

I keep telling. Give it to your dog. Feed it to your turn. hurdle. Maybe put it in a safety deposit box and like leave it for a great grandchild or something. It's like a family beef

loom. And the future, beef is money. In the future. We're not going to spoil anything, but you're going to want this meat. No, this is what I, this is what I want to get to though. This is, and this whole thing, this is like, it's not that surprising that Arby's would do some like,

Arby's branded races. Like it's a tour of Arby's branded races powered by horsy sauce. Cool. You think there's a lot of prestige for winning one of these races? Huge. Huge.

Are you kidding me? I'll tell you what is bad is if he may hurt. That's not how you want to bustle that. Yeah, how to go out. Yeah, he was at the top of his game and then he was doing the beef races. Jeff Gordon? Yeah, he, I don't know why he was still,

his license has been revoked. I don't know how they got him out there. And he was foaming at the mouth just screaming about horsey sauce and he did die. There's no better way to put it. He beefed it. He beefed it real hard and that's how we'll always be remembered. That's what all the headlines said they did work in some sort of beef pun in quotes. His family was well done.

Well done. So sad. Yeah. And that's another beef thing. So apologies to the Gordon estate. I guess the thing that is hard for me. And I This is the thing that I wanted to share with you guys

And it's hard that I missed it That this event occurred that I'm about to describe to you And that we weren't cordially invited to it And the fact that it happened That this was real and it happened On the eve of NASCAR's biggest race Arby showed up with Max horsey power In Daytona

Building on the success of last summer's Jemoka Shake Tour The brand hosted a surprise Jimmy Eat World pop-up concert inside a local Arby's restaurant at Ridgewood Avenue in Daytona Beach. The free concert transformed Arby's into a rock and roll dance floor

complete with branded airbrushed hats. Jimmy Eat World Rock and Roll dance floor? Sorry Griffin, you just brushed over airbrushed hat, custom airbrush hats. Yeah, they had custom airbrush hats and I actually have, if you guys have a second, I have some like live video. Yeah, of Jimmy Eat Beef.

of Jimmy eat beef Let me see if I can Hey Do you still feel I'm something loud Who says that rock is dead? It's so good

First of all huge jealousy And there is I If you think that we are in any way judging or criticizing a Jimmy Eat world For doing this

You do not know our brand I'm telling you I'm so furious that this happened and we did not get to participate. I would have done it for half the price. I would have done for half whatever Jimmy did. Well, I want to work on it with Jimmy E World.

Yeah, I don't want to. My brother and me doing exclusive concerted at Arby's is just a regular Wednesday afternoon in Huntington. I'm like, that's not a big. I'm just saying we would have opened. There's just. There's just. There's just.

Jimmy's up there. I wasn't familiar with that other song, but you know Jimmy's going to play sweetness or something at some point. And there were a lot of people in that. video justin you showed me of that private arby's jimmy world concert oh yeah all those people just happened to be at arby's they were fucking airbrushing hats and shirts and they were eating the food and they were talking pretty loud with their friends and meanwhile great american rock classic group jimmy eat world is on

stage to an audience of people who really are there for the beef and the hats and the in the art activity and the babes it looks like some of them were i would have been there for the music. I definitely would have, but that's why I'm saying, like if you're at a Jimmy World concert, even if it's out of Arby's, take a minute to,

it's like when you're sitting down at a restaurant and then like a pianist comes up on stage and starts playing for everyone. And you gotta give them a little like, you gotta give them a little bit of attention, I think. Just take some time.

Little girl, you're in the middle of a concert at Arby's. Yeah. The other version I was gonna do is, you just take some time, little girl, and eat the middle of those. sandwich, it's full of beefing you.

Eat the middle of the sandwich. Now that was an old Arby's campaign where they were like, the middle was where the beef is, only eat the middles. And it was like, that's wild. And for some reason it was like straight through the middle. Don't eat to the middle. Kind of dive at it. Pour a hole into the middle.

Pour a hole in the sandwich. I would like to read some comments from the Instagram post. To Kishy Doodles says the ultimate way to start our 2026. Best party I've airbrushed at. Thank you so much for inviting us to paint your merch, Arby's. Cool.

Thanks. God, God, I wish I lived a life where not only did I go to an airbrush party, but I had gone to so many airbrush parties that that was a metric I could use. I just want to be in a place where I can thank Arby's and mean it. Someone said, that's cool, John Lithgow party like a rock star. That is not a kind thing to say, and I wish you hadn't said it. I don't think Mr. Lithgow is in the video, and I'm sure he would love to get out there, But I did not smile.

Why did they bring, why did they put their name? Why is John Lithgow here catching the straight? That is the party that's, that you've been missing. Just so you know, inspire team members. That's from the people at Arby's HQ, took a behind the scenes look at Arby's number one Chevrolet. They took a tour of the JRM race team hauler and even had a chance to score tickets to Saturday's race. And then I want to show you guys a picture. And they've got this on the thing where you can watch.

I don't know. It's one of those carousels. Don't you hate that. I fucking hate that shit, man. Hold on wait. Don't make your image is some sort of special CSS element that I can't then share with my brothers easily to make them laugh. Okay, good. I'm going to, I think I'm going to share.

I'll just, like, put this image. They got people in the Arby's chef coats. And the fact that these images, that these things is, this is really what I'm jealous. Can you see these? Look at that. Look at that. I know you're not got, you guys are excited enough. It's a black chef's coat

with a huge red Arby's logo on it. I would do anything. Are you kidding me? Look at these people. They're the Arby chefs. They're the ones who are like, maybe two me sliced a roast beef on that one. Yeah, yeah, sure. Like, this cheese sauce is

not thick enough. We could probably layer a different, kind of meat that we've never even fucked with in here if we just try it. Do you guys think you could go and score me some of that thick Burger King mayonnaise that we can then put on the new one? I did want to show you guys a picture of the meat in the three box. I like how in this picture, and I know the people at home can't see it, so let me describe it to you.

The Rose Beef Sandwich Towers above the other three, just really lording it over the peon. It looks like they're worship. at the feet of the sandwich, right? Yeah. While the power behind the throne of the giant Coca-Cola goes, Yes, my lord. Yes, my lord. I've heard of me-

Listen to them, cry your name, my lord, they cry for you, au-ju, they say, au-ju, spill your juan us. Drip upon us, my lord. I've heard Meat and Three used in a sort of southern, like, barbecue sense, but usually when I hear it that way, they are implying that there will be some sort of vegetable or bread sort of involved in there with the three.

I don't think it means seasoned up curly fries, full-blown mozzarella sticks, and what looks like a fried apple egg roll, perhaps? Justin, I'm just really glad that you showed us this picture because every time he'd say meat and three, I assume it has something to do with someone's dick and three balls. Yeah. So I'm glad that you clarify. And it doesn't. And I guess Arby's, please, I mean, as always, get at us.

Like, I don't know. You know. Jimmy eats brothers. It's the perfect crossover. Brothers eats beef. Brothers eats beef. My fiance and I are getting married in a walking labyrinth. We realize people may assume it's movie theme because we've been saying we're having a labyrinth wedding.

Yes. Should we explicitly stay on invitations? It has nothing to do with the film or just see what people think a labyrinth. wedding is. I haven't even seen the movie. Yeah, I'm sorry. You are actually having, you're having a labyrinth themed wedding. You need to be okay with the fact that it's, you can't just have it be in a, it's a labyrinth themed wedding. You need some stuff in there from the film. You got to have the stuff from the film in there, man. That's like saying, yeah, we're having a wedding in a cube, but it's not a cube shape.

It's not based on cube-themed webbing. Yeah. We're doing it at the new Super Nintendo World Amusement Park. It is not a Nintendo-based event this wedding. But do not dress up as Mario. He will be there, but it has nothing to do with it. It just worked out that the Fortress of Solitude had the dates available that we're looking for. We are not doing Superman.

No, I think he's boring. It's a beautiful fortress. Bit of a trek. It is a destination wedding. We realize that's going to be a problem for some folks. Not idea. Yeah, it's in the Arctic. Do you think I don't know what this is?

And so that is sometimes not a super funny thing when someone's trying to guess what a real thing is. But I'm guessing that they're on opposite ends of it. Yeah. And they're trying to find each other when they do their married? Yeah, and they only have 10 minutes. There's also, you also don't want to run into one of the scarecrows. Because if they get you, they tear up your marriage license. Right there.

We've hidden it inside the shrine of the silver monkey. Well, the shrine of the silver monkey contains the rings, Justin. You can send in your maid of honor and your best man once, but if they get caught by one of the scarecrow's, they're going to kill them. David Bowie will not be there. Goblin King will not be there. Little nasty worm will not be there. Handhole, no.

Not any of that shit. No or. We'll be there for a price. Why haven't you seen Labby? It's great. I gave my kids a stink eye when I realized they hadn't seen labyrinth and they're kids and I'm their dad. And I still was like, really?

You guys haven't seen labyrinth? I wish I could watch it again for the first time. Yeah. I just saw someone put out a labyrinth theme set of sneakers and I almost bought them for hundreds of dollars and I wouldn't even wear the ding-dang things. How funny would it be if you told everyone it's not the movie, never even seen the movie?

And then you get to the vows and then you're like, you remind me of the babe and then you reveal like just kidding and then you both pull out orbs. Oh my god, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. If you walk out to magic dance, I know you've never heard it and you shouldn't because when you realize the omega-bop

that you have just dropped on your wedding and the first time you're hearing it is when you're married, what? You're welcome. And they double twist, the officiant holds up their hands and they've got eyeballs in the palms of their hands and they hold it up to their face and it's a Pans Labyrinth-themed wedding.

Whoa, I love that That's cool I don't want to be a jerk But if you've never seen the movie You're having a maze wedding But you do not like labyrinths You do not like labyrinths enough To call it a labyrinth wedding

If you haven't even seen the movie about them You know You don't like labyrinths It's a maze wedding It's a maze wedding And that's like some That's like some slylock fox Like Sunday day's

It's a lot easier in it Yeah I want a wedding that's like On a kid's restaurant activity mat You know what I mean Yeah. Yeah. You're missing so many opportunities, too,

because I think they're so, having a labyrinth themed wedding that's actually labyrinth themed of like having a ring bearer come in and it's like a little fox puppet on the back of a big shaggy dog. Cool. That can like bring in the ring.

Fucking incredible. But let someone who loves the movie, plan it and do all this. And you still don't see the movie. Yeah. So when you show up, it's like, what is happening? What is this?

At the reception, you screen the movie and go, oh, okay. When the audience stands up and they all talk with their hands in unison, you're going to flip your shit. Yeah. Also, guys, why is this the second time as many days we've talked about the hands? I don't know. I was talking about thick sauce earlier.

It feels like we're just doing this sort of sequel to the last episode. I mean, we're the same people, just a week older, I guess. Actually, two days older. Yeah. We were recording the last one of Monday. It is currently Wednesday, about 40. hours as the crow flies from the last time. My last thought before we started recording was,

I can't believe I have to fucking do this. Yeah, we just did this. Talk to these, Sam. Oh, man. It's a good flick, though. Just catch it. Yeah. I mean, thanks so much for listening to our podcast.

We hope you had fun. We hope you enjoyed yourself. And you're reminding of the babe. Mm-hmm. What babe? The babe that wrote a choose-your-own-adventure book. His name is Griffin McGrath. He's a wee babby.

I got it here now. It's called The Stowaway, and it costs $10. Have you read it? Hey, Griffin. Hey, Griffin, I want to start a countdown clock as a promotional tool for your book. Okay. Has your son read your book yet? He has not.

Okay, it's so far one day. How many days have you had it? How many days have I had it? About three weeks, my man. He is dedicated. You're now on day. 21 of Griffin's... My youngest son read it with me.

My 9-year-old is like... All right, we're now on day 21 of Griffin's oldest son not reading his book. Griffin, I do want to continue to check in periodically just to see if he... Eventually, he'll begin to take a curiosity to what his father does. Bit.ly slash Griffin Stowaway.

You can beat my oldest son at reading the book that I wrote called The Stowe Way. And it's a choose-your-own-a-victure-book as an outer space survival tale. Perfect for middle-grade readers or anyone who wants to hear a great interactive adventure

hosted by yours truly. It's called the Stowe and it's $10. And the first week of book sales are so important. So bit.ly slash Griffin Stoweway, help me out. It's $10. Over at MacroyoMarch.com, we got a lot of great merch this month, including Helping is always a free action t-shirt.

They're really cool. I think you're going to like them and 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels. So go check that out, MacroyMurch.com. We stream over on the Macroy family YouTube. We got Clubhouse the last Tuesday of each month, and on all the other Tuesdays, we're doing Super Macroy Brother gaming streams at noon Eastern time. And we got solo streams throughout the week.

I just started a run of return of the Oberlin on ADHD detective. So make sure you check that out every Wednesday. I know. I'm playing Majores Mask randomizer every Friday. It's called Trial by Fieri. God, what a game. God, what a game. Indeed.

Just also a game. Yeah. Major's Mass is a game as well. Have you settled on what you're doing next, J-Man? I have been thinking about playing Mist. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, man.

I don't think kids today have seen Mist. Yeah. No, it's fucking, it's a wild one. Do like the old, like, DVD version of Mist. Do like one of those old, wild ones. Like an old busted down thing. Thanks to Montaigne. Thanks for a team song.

My Life is Better With You. Did I mention that my book's out tomorrow, March 10th? I don't think I said that part. Tomorrow is the crow flies. Yeah, so go check that out. And I'm gonna, I guess, I'll throw it. Throw the book, throw the book. I'm not gonna throw it super, I mean,

I do have a lot of copies of it. Yeah, throw the book. Oh, man, here we go. Can't believe he's gonna throw the book. Fahrenheit 451 is the- Yeah, so little respect for the oral. Griffin's throwing his own work. Three, two, one. That's what Griffin's, does a Griffin's son does.

every time he hands in the book. It was perfect, though. Like, it kind of landed flat. If we could get a sick screen shot, it would look like the book was just kind of glued to them. I broke my goddamn Deku Tree. Good of a doctor. I broke my goddamn Deku Tree.

What a good book. It's so solid you can break a goddamn Deku Tree Lego set. I'm Travis Lackroy. I'm Griffin McRoy. Damn this book. Brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips.

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