My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 222: The Rich Kids Camp

Episode Date: October 20, 2014

It's a Max Fun Week special as we welcome John Hodgman to the program. He does an admirable, charitable job of pretending he knows who we are. Suggested Talking Points: A Fate Worse than Public Defication, Papa John Refuses to Grow, A Day Without Doxxing, Bowser Went to Juliard.

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's the most wonderful time of the year. No, there's no movie watches, there's no holidays to report on, no friends, it's much better than that. It's Max Fun Week, celebration, a week-long celebration of all things related to the maximum fun network. Now I want to clarify here, because I've seen some people, you know, you talk about Max Fun Week

and everybody goes, oh, another pledge drive, but here's the thing. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, also, shut up, Wiener. No, I'm towing a hard line. You just assume every holiday that we cook up and invent. Is it ploy? Fresy it might from you? Go eat a bag of butts. Sorry, some things are just about human joy, creating human joy. That's where we're at, and that's what the Max Fun Network is all about, and that's what we're doing this week. There's been already a bevy, can I say a bevy? You can. Is that fair? A bevy of activities, a flurry? A flurry? I guess, yeah, you could go with that. As part of the Max Fun Week celebration, and there is more to come. Today, it's worth noting, is share your favorite episode day,

so pick your favorite Max Fun show. It's going to be this one. I just know it's going to be this one. It's going to be this one, and share your favorite episode with somebody. Maybe you're, maybe you like it classic. Maybe Spaghetti Again is your favorite episode. Maybe you like one of the live ones. Those are the only two I can remember. Or maybe you're branching out, and you want to say that your favorite episode is the episode of Jordan Jesse Go I was on, or the episode of Lady Tillady I was on. Oh, wow. Branching out, but in two very specific Travis-based directions. Or maybe the episode of Wham Bam Pow I was on. Oh, wow. Travis, are you the most prolific Max Fun guest? Do you think at this point? Do you think you've

been on the most number of Max Fun shows? Let me think. Yes. Probably. I need to get the Sawbones. I need to find an inn there. Yeah, good luck. Maxfunfun.org, Maxfunweek is where you can go to read all about the activities. There's still a lot more to come. There's also a, depending on when this publishes, oh yeah, there'll be time. There is an Ask Me Anything with Jesse and Jordan at two. These are Pacific Times, by the way, at two. Julie from Destination DIY is doing one at four. And Lisa and Emily from Baby Genius is doing one at six. So get there. Which, by the way, if you haven't checked out the new shows, check out Destination DIY, check out Flop House. And I'm now the producer for Baby Geniuses. So triple check that out.

Whoa. What's with this? What's with your whole steeze lately? Yeah, you're really getting, if I can say above your raisin, I feel like you're getting above your raisin right now. Listen, I'm elevated. I'm a new man. I'm on my grind. I'm on my grind. Travis on his grind is the worst. Can we find a happy medium between Justin and I having no grind to speak of whatsoever and you having it like an extreme grind? Should we need a medium grind for drip coffee? Shouldn't you legally have to spend some of your grinding for us? It seems like. I'm on that twerk. I'm twerking for my personal brand. Listen, listen. That's my butt cheeks. That's my butt cheeks clapping. For you thing. Hey, good job. For you saying great job. You did a really great job on the

one podcast, John. That's not true. I'm actually on Judge John Hodgman this week. We've got a massive guest speaking out. We got a massive guest. He is 900 feet tall and he's made entirely out of granite. It's Judge John Hodgman. That's going to happen soon. So get ready. I mean, Judge John Hodgman is a character that he plays. We got him. We went behind the scenes and we got the man behind. The man who's obsessed with Bowser from Sean on off. Oh, guys. Stay tuned. Until then, if let's do some questions and help some people. If somebody sees it in the bathroom stall next to you, should you say bless you? I was recently in a bathroom and I sneezed. The other person in the stall did not say bless you. Okay, wait. I think, okay, I'm assuming that you don't

mean in the stall with you because that would be rude. Someone in the stall touching me. I mean, someone staring at me, waiting to hand me out a hot towel. Then I thought maybe I was being too judgmental. However, the lady didn't wash her hands. Three exclamation points. So I'm not really sure what the proper etiquette would be since this lady obviously didn't have any. That's from Megan. Well, first of all, Megan, I want to compliment you on your full in-depth study of this woman. She didn't say bless you, but she also didn't wash her hands. So it kind of balances out. We have been penalized so many times on this program for rushing to judgment. And I want to celebrate you for not doing that.

You could have just said, wow, what a jerk. But you decided to go, you decided to go John Kimionas and really explore the whole situation that this woman was encompassing rather than just saying you're a bad person. You have a whole in-depth investigation, which I really celebrate. And it's really fortunate that you didn't rush to judgment and say this person is such a jerk because you would have been dead wrong. Griffin, it's correct. It is my opinion that when someone is inside the actual stall itself, they cease to exist to you. And it's weird, right? And obviously, I'm saying this as a dude and this is not so much a thing that a woman would experience. But when you're next to each other at the urinal,

it is a very communal place. It is a place of bonding and fellowship, I would say. And then in the stalls, you are buried 800 feet underground in a big, big safe. It is the reason that if I were out of sync and somebody asked me to hand them a paper towel, not a deal at all. But when someone asked for toilet paper, because it's this like, who, oh, who, oh, let me, yes, for some reason. So it makes me, like, the very idea of it gives me heart palpitations. If you responded to that in any life situation, someone is going to try to put a spoon on your tongue, assuming that you're having a seat. Why did I ask? Oh, curse me. You can't. You can't make any noise in there. It's a silent safe zone. It's practically a church upsetting conduct that I have witnessed. Well,

not witnessed, obviously, but well, yeah, ear witnessed from people in stalls. Number one, and this one kills me, is the listening to music from your phone. You're going for it. I was in a turlet at a restaurant the other day and I was in a stall next to a guy who was shopping for ring tones. It's pretty cool. It was a pretty cool scene. I mean, when the fuck else do you ask you? Justin, where do you find the time to build your personal brand? Yeah, try to figure out how you express yourself to the world. You're missing time. Where else are you going to, where else are you going to shop for ring tones though, right? Like, if you're hanging out with friends and loved ones, that's not, that's not a time to do it. You're at a picnic. No, I'm going

to go play frulf. I'm not going to shop for ring tones. It is a good point though. I think the only thing that would be more embarrassing to do in public than defecate would be to try to pick the ring tone that best fits your personal style. So stressful. I am honestly, I'm too embarrassed to do that anymore. I've got like a pretty standard issue beep going on now. I stumbled on on my last phone. I had the immortal Koji Kondo theme to the Yoshi's, the Super Mario World 2, Yoshi's Island theme. Fun little ditty. Nothing gets better than that though. One of the things I was most impressed by when I was in Scotland, I mean, along with the beautiful vistas and all of that, was that their bathroom stall doors close in such a way that there are

no gaps. Like you can't see through them. I love that. Like you can't hear in Heathen America. But I've never witnessed any kind of soundproofing in a stall. And that's what you want. I would rather soundproof than sightproof those things, you know what I mean? Maybe some baffling. Some nice some baffling. Oh, sure. An inexpensive acoustic treatment. I don't think that's too much to ask. No, no, you will need to set fire to it once a day and replace it. Oh, yeah, yeah. That foam. That foam remembers. Do you guys want to know who? Yes, absolutely. This one was sent in by Yadru Answers-Sham and Drew Davenport. Thank you, Drew. It's by Yadru Answers user Emily, who asks,

What can I be for Halloween at work? I have to wear my Papa John's shirt and hat, but not the pants? We can wear makeup. Because of a pantsless employee. You could go as a fired employee. We could wear makeup or anything else. I also have the white out zombie context too. What? One Yadru Answers user named Liz responded, Be a zombie and wear scary makeup. Thanks, you shithead. You don't think they looked at their constituent components of zombie eyes and scary makeup and didn't think, well, we'll just do that? They're trying to think outside the bun and they're trying to fucking fold a no pants situation in here. Or clever, clever pants, right? Can you be Papa John's employee from the waist up,

mandated by Papa John himself, but something else from the waist down? You could be like a pizza mermaid. Or pizza centaur, I think would be really great. Pizza centaur. Now you will need a friend for this. You will need a friend with eight hours to kill. And a strong back. A very strong back. Um, he's going to be down by that pizza heat too. So he needs to have a high tolerance. What if the pizza centaur was the one delivering the pizzas? That would be quite the show to see in your driveway. But they, I mean, they would eat it. Could you wear, could you find a friend? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Griffin, centaurs do not just eat any pizza put in front of them.

Why would you assume that? They can't. They're fucking crazy for this one. Yeah, they're very, they're very well behaved. No, not around people just like us. Read my fucking novel, read my young, my youth adult books, my youth adult books. Greek Griffin's series of YA fiction, Centines, the story of Centaur teens trying to, uh, uh, who've traveled here for the equestrivers. The main character Buck is probably my favorite. Yeah. Oh God, guys, we're going to lose the big skateboard meat. All right, get me skateboards. Two of them because I got four legs. Whoa. Um, did, could you ask a friend who works at Pizza Hut if you could borrow their pants and then

just everybody comes in and just wait a minute. Do you get it? All right, can I get a personal pan? Wait a minute, you don't do that here. I thought it was a pizza hut because of your crazy pants. What's going on here? Is this some sort of prank? Pizza pizza, right? Oh boy. You could dress up like, you could dress up your face like the guy in all the Papa Jean cover. Is his name just John? Can we establish what his fucking- No, I think his name is, is Papa John. It's Jean. I'm Papa Jean. Um, you can dress up like that dude in the face department, which is to say like the most heavily caked on makeup you've ever seen on a dude on television. Oh my God. Oh my God. His face extends out like four and a half extra inches from his regular

face. He looks like he's wearing like one of those sad old clown masks. Oh, he's wearing like dark man skin. We obviously don't have as many like CEOs in their commercials. I think as we used to, you know, you don't have the Dave Thomas's or Ron McDonald, not a lot of in, in the commercials anymore. Um, don't you think that, but don't you think that at a certain point you would be in enough commercials that you would achieve like a base level of competency with being in a commercial? Like at some, at some point you would begin to grow as a commercial performer. I would, I would argue that Papa John has gone the opposite direction. No, no. And I think that's just because he's resting more and more control with each commercial he's in. I think, and I think very

recently he became in charge of the makeup department and he says, I just want a little touch up. Also, can you make my eyes look like that crazy Richard Alpert guy from Lost. Terrific. Thank you very much. Do you think maybe the problem is that when he's up there and he's performing with a heavy hitter, like a Peyton Manning, it's just really hard for him to like step up to that same level of acting proficiency? Yeah, that's what that's exactly what Pey, Peyto is bringing to the mix. Peyton is another good example of somebody who is belligerently not getting any better at being in commercials. He's in every commercial and he refuses to learn anything stubbornly bad. If I was in as many football matches as a Peyton Manning has been

commercials at this point, I would be, I mean, throwing the occasional INT, but I think I'd be putting up a decent fantasy performance. Sure. What if it's like when you, when you're like a care, you know, like an actor who's known for that, and it's like he has improved, he's actually got like a degree from Juilliard now, but they're like, no, just be the Peyton for the subway commercial. He's like, but I really want to like expand. I want to like, If you insist, I shall put on the ruse. Come on down to Papa Job's Beatsa Palace. Did you say Beatsa with a B? I don't know, man. Touchdown. Eli, come here and catch a fat slice. We don't like to call them fat slices. It's not appetizing verbiage, Peyton. Did you call it a Beatsa Palace?

Yep. I'm going to get my whole, all my colts around. We're going to slam some Beatsas together. Here's your $5 million. Thank you very much. I needed that. I'll put it on top of the other $6 million that I earned this week for all my touchdown throws. And he thinks he still thinks he plays for the Colts? Yeah. That's upsetting, too. That's the character of Peyton he plays on TV. Okay. Every horse-based team falls under a single umbrella for him. He did. He did do that, didn't he? Yeah, this motherfucker's crazier brat horses than we are. And I didn't think that was possible. What about the Washington Centaurs? I would root for that team hands down. You guys know that there's a team called the

Washington Redskins. You heard about that, right? I have heard of it, yes. Okay. Do you know that I, the owner of a three-in-three fantasy football team, M-NOT at this moment, sure if that is Washington State or Washington DC. Here's the interesting thing. Hand to God, I don't know. It's a timeshare. It's both. It's both. Oh, okay. They're like sister city-states and they said like we'll go in on this together because each of them couldn't afford a full team by themselves, so they split the cost right down the middle. How mad must Washington DC have been when they hurt, because you know that news took a long time to travel back then. Those motherfuckers called the state court. They did what? They called it

what? I wanted them to call it Oregon but up some more. And that was my original name. I don't see what's wrong with Oregon but up some more but fine, fuck it, whatever. They called it Washington too, at least, right? My husband and I recently moved into our first home in a neighborhood that has a lot of elementary and middle school age kids. My memories of middle school suggest we should be at least a little on guard for mailbox bashing, tee-peed trees, and other mild hooliganism. How can we plan our candy costume or exterior decor situation to deter pranking if there is no stopping the tricksters which we did prepare ourselves in our home for the aftermath? That's from please just take the candy and go. Can I say something? I feel like

if your house gets forked, do you guys know about forking? No, I'm not aware of forking. You steal all your forks. No, you get a bunch of plastic forks and you jam them into your yard. And kill all the groundhogs. No, no, no. It's just there's forks there now, where there weren't forks before, now there's forks. It's not just if you get forked, or you get mailbox bashed, or you get tee-peed, or egged. I would consider that a refreshing spring breeze compared to like the game that teens are pulling down in today's modern era. You know what I mean? Like if I'm saying this Halloween, like people are going to go door to door and like fucking docks people and release their bank account number and like somehow get a picture of

everyone's dicks and post it on your fucking next door forum board. And then that's the equivalent. That's where we're at nowadays. I'm saying that this mild hooliganism has turned into like full blown identity theft. In real life, I mean in movies they always show it being so like upsetting when someone gets tee-peed, but I think that like I think it's almost kind of flattering in a way. Because it's like, hey, you're involved in this now. So annoying to get this. Have you ever had to get it off though? Oh no, you just leave it. Until the birds come get it. Oh, the birds take it away and build a nest. And they wipe their ass. Dirty bird. I really liked when a couple of kids who we did community theater with tried to tee-pee our house and then Todd, our huge, huge, huge

neighbor, yelled at them and chased them off. Take that kids. Take that little kids. Get out of here. Is giving away good candy still like a solid defense against this? But they said that's extortion at that point. Right? You're giving into it. You're negotiating. You're negotiating with baby terrorists. You turn the extortion around and you say like, listen, I bought you full-size candy bars this year. Yeah, you enjoyed that? You like that? Would you like this train to keep it rolling? Well, I guess that's up to you. I think you're just perpetuating climate fear. Still extortion. I would love to get egged if it meant I didn't have to get doxxed every fucking week and have to move every week and

establish new passwords every week and explain to people, no, that's not my dick every week. That would be excellent if we could avoid that. It would be fantastic if we could just not have that for just give me one week's respite, please. You should just talk to your neighbors and see if this is actually an issue because I'm willing to bet it's not as bad as you think it is. Keep a porch line on. Don't leave your pumpkin on the front porch. You're saying don't celebrate Halloween essentially. No, just at the end of the night, bring it inside. For some reason, that's the big concern to me. Someone might smash my pumpkin. That's it. I think they're doing you. If they do that after sugar treat, they're doing you a favor.

What's great in Austin is that they'll smash your pumpkin and then they'll start a compost heap in your front yard. It's so considerate. It's super considerate. It sinks like shit though. You guys want a Yahoo? Absolutely. This Yahoo was sent in by Michael Allen. Thank you, Michael Allen. It's by Yahoo Answers user MrLizards who asks, what should I name my new restaurant that only serves leftovers from other restaurants? I am hoping to open a successful restaurant and I just need a good name. Here's the concept. There's nothing better than eating a delicious meal at a nice restaurant and having enough to take home and eat later doubles. My restaurant will serve leftovers from other restaurants so you can experience that joy without the trouble of having to go

to the other restaurant in the first place. I plan to offer a premium menu with options from places like Olive Garden, Applebee's and Red Lobster as well as value items like Pizza Hut Pizza or McDonald's burgers and fries. It is a very wise business model because I will not have the expense startup costs of ovens or grills. I'll just need an extra large walk-in cooler and a few microwaves. Here are some names I'm considering. Good re eats. Twice baked. Leftovers. This is my favorite so far. Please let me know if you need additional info to come with a good name. The middle man. That's not bad. Sloppy seconds. Sloppy seconds is pretty good too. Time slash money waster. Can we figure out if this is actually going to be a viable business decision?

Because at first blush I thought about it and I said well the overhead there is going to be outrageous. You are spending more money on the food. You're paying for other restaurants' labor. You're in the worst markup position you could possibly be. But at the same time you're going to eat that stuff anyway. The thing is this question asker is missing the core principle of why leftovers are so great because you pay for the meal once and you eat it twice. It's not that the cold day old food is so much better than the new stuff. But imagine actually it introduced another set of hands. Someone else has touched this thing. I don't think it's a terrible idea and here's why. My favorite food items at restaurants across the great city of Austin Texas are just that.

All across the great city of Austin Texas. If I could bring them all together into one super restaurant. Ah fuck yeah. Oh man get my favorite dessert from the salty sal and get some sushi from Uchiko. Man actually you don't really want less of a hand sushi. But let me poke a few holes in this plan. One like okay so say you want a ten dollar hamburger from TGI Fridays right. If this place has that they're going to have to charge you more so you're going to be paying more for older food. No no. Then how are they going to make money. No no you're misunderstanding. I go to TGI. Here's the business model. I go to TGI Fridays. I get my favorite ten dollar burger in the world and I eat half of it and then I take that to the to Shloppy seconds and maybe they

give me 250 for it. Then they reheat it resell it for seven. It's like a food pawn shop. I would insist on consignment though. Yeah can I come back and get the rest of the burger later. You hold on to this burger for 30 days. The only one of the advantages I could see to Shloppy seconds would be that I could buy Chick-fil-A with a clean conscience. They filtered the hate through Shloppy seconds. Although the owner of this place is probably a hateful person too. Let's be honest. But I could filter. I could have some plausible deniability there. It was already bought. Well this is from oh my god. I had no I mean it did taste like soggy like pickle chicken. So I shouldn't know. I'm just picturing a desperate person like at the counter saying

because these are good french fries man. These are good. I pay top dollar for these french fries. And their Travis you've just pulled the linchpin out and the whole thing just fucking fell apart because this restaurant cannot possibly under any circumstances sell french fries. Just can't be done. Exactly. Can't be done. And old nachos. Old nachos especially no. No. And french fries no. The whole thing is just terrible. I would probably eat there. You probably would because you're a fucking sarlak in the shape of a man. You're a sarlak in cowboy boots. Can we go ahead and go to the money zone? I think we should. Good news Mr. Rough Face. I really I've asked you several times to stop calling me that. It's not

my third full. There's one solution though for your rough face. You don't even only one. Finally good news everyone. Someone invented the razor. My brother my brother and me is supported by harrys.com the place that invented finally the razor. I don't think that's a hundred percent true. Harry's delivers a better by which I mean first shaving experience for a fraction of the price of their competitors of which there are none. So did they name them after the fucking scooters then? Yes. Named after the popular yet defunct method of teen transportation. The company makes amazing German engineered razors. I don't know why we have to specify German engineered as they are the only items of their kind. I myself have shaved with the world's

first razor and I can say that it was a smooth shaving experience. Actually you know what I got this week. They sent Harry sent me some some additional shaving products. There was some after a shave lotion from Harry's which I've never tried before and I actually used this morning and I found the scent delectable. So you're saying I no longer just have to burn all the hair off my face every other day. No don't get that that comically oversized magnifying glass out to try to burn individual hairs like so many ants crawling across the scape of your visage. But I kind of like I kind of like the way it feels now. Would you say it works better than wishing the hair off? Yes it does. It works better than all other methods. How does it work? Well

here let me describe it. For $15 you will get a stick. You will get some cream. Okay. You'll put the cream on your face. It's flammable cream and it helps burn the hair. No it's not in any way flammable. You'll get three sharp metallic. Wishing cream, wishing cream, smear it on your face it's wishing cream by Mennon. There's no wishing cream. There is wishing cream by Mennon. I fucking brought it off my TV once. I think that that is a competing shave place that you probably shouldn't mention in a Harry's ad. Oh can I what if I say it sucks dick? What doesn't exist in the fiction of the ad? You for $50 you get a handle, a stick to put the sharp things on. You get three blades which are sharp metallic like flat things that you scrape across your face and it

makes the hair die. Like railroad rails? They're like flat railroad rails that you scrape across your face. Sold. $15 for that and you get three different blades. So the one downside of Razor is that they're hoping to fix in the coming months is that they eventually dull over time. But there are three blades now so you can swap them out once they get a little dull. You don't get that smooth shaving experience. And they even offer custom engraving so you can get the handle of your Razor engraved with your initials. It's convenient and it's easy to order online. Go to harrys.com and use the promo code mybrother all one word and Harry's is going to give you $5 off your first purchase of the first Razor for all my brother my brother me listeners. What a deal. Well you also

are sponsored this week by Prosper who has sponsored us before and it's a super cool idea in my opinion and basically what it is you go to prosper.com it's a peer-to-peer lending site. So the idea is is that rather than go to a bank rather than go to some big faceless bank that doesn't give two shits about you you go to prosper.com and it's other people just like you lending you the money. My bank said they love me. Your bank does not love you. They love you like a grain in the ocean. They don't give two literal shits about you but you can borrow up to $35,000 from Prosper but here's the thing they also do smaller loans too because if you're like me you think about the $35,000 and that's like an astronomical imaginary number but they also do as low as $2,500. So

anywhere in between that you can apply for those loans maybe you know banks give out lots of home loans they give lots of car loans but maybe you're looking for something to pay off a medical bill. Maybe you're wanting to go on a vacation maybe you're needing to pay for a honeymoon or a wedding or you've got moving expenses or anything like that that maybe a bank would say well that's not really the kind of thing we do. Well Prosper does. We love you. We love you though. Like I'll forget about it. Banks don't love you. They wish you were dead. They wish you were dead. And here's the thing you can apply online. You never have to set foot in a bank. You just go to prosper.com. Apply online. You can check your rate instantly without affecting your credit.

Then go to prosper.com slash my brother. If you get a loan you get $50 gift card. Check it out. You want to do this in the style of Jimmy Buffett maybe? Just like how how you think he talks. Give me one second. Are you getting a guitar? Son of a bitch. Other restrictions apply. See your site for program and visa prepaid card details. This card is issued by a senator from state bank of Florida. YNA pursuant to license from visa USA Inc. All personal loans are made by Web Bank of Utah Chartered Industrial Member

FDIC Equal Opportunity Lender. I think I think Going to prosper to get some dough This is great. We'll need a prosper loan to pay off the Some people claim that I'm not worth the risk. And you're right. I'm not worth the risk. All right so and we're gonna just keep on. We're gonna get through all this together. Got a message for the cutie patootie with the rockin booty. Aw. Somebody's reaching out to me. Speak. Talk to me.

This message is for Justin. It's from Luke aka Pajamarai. You know that name that you do have for him. Justin. Cute beauty. No. I'm not the cutie patootie with the rockin booty. No. It's actually Rosie O'Donnell. Luke says to Rosie O'Donnell, You thought I couldn't outdo last year's present of infiltrating Chinatown and buying Pokemon X and Y before the street date? Well BAM! Here's our favorite brothers breaking the street date on our love. People may mistake us for siblings on the reg but we should probably still make out. Catch a later banana mater. Catch a later banana mater. I did it faster that time. And are you ready to have your minds blown? We are delivering this on the day.

Oh shit. Nice. Well don't say that because we're recording this pretty far ahead of time. No it's correct. On the 20th. No I'm just saying anything could happen. Okay. Well happy uh what's that anniversary love? Is that what it is? Birthday. Birthday. Alright. Well that's good whatever. I'm not sure. It's one of those things. It's unclear. Happy celebration. Birthday. It's last year's present so I don't know. I don't know the occasion. I'm saying this the Luke sounds like a uh uh no. You just ran ahead didn't you? We're gonna get to that but don't don't reign on Luke and Cutie Pateries Parade. Um I think it sounds like Luke is a kind of a no-limit soldier because

he he could have gone to Pokemon jail for breaking that street date. Yeah. And it's hard in there. Geodude doing pull-ups. But you can't wear shorts because they're comfortable and easy to wear. That is true. Justin go ahead and I mean you ruin the fucking. Go ahead and read it Justin. Who is this message for? Tom Reagan. Who is this message from? Future Tom Reagan. What is your message? Having two dicks turned out really great. How far in the future is Tom Reagan? Is this a minority report situation? Did a pre-cock step forward and and reveal to him an ill omen? Because this is it's from future not present day Tom to past Tom. This is future Tom to present day Tom. And it's not past Tom or

current Tom reaching out to future Tom asking about two dicks. Uh-huh. Because somewhere in the future Tom has achieved or had added two dicks and turned out really great. So present Tom if you're listening and you're debating a major dick decision I think you know which way to go. Is this coded? I hope not. You just hope it's you're taking a face value. His face is the least of his concerns right now. Sure. Having two dicks could have gone either way but it's time to go away. Mark your calendars for a brand new thing. The first ever Max Fun Week is coming up October 15th through 21st. Max Fun Week is all about celebrating the creativity and passion of our listeners. We'll have podcast crossovers, Q&As, behind the scenes tours, giveaways, and more.

No fundraising, just awesome stuff for you. So tune in to your favorite Max Fun shows, tell a friend about Max Fun, and check out some new shows during Max Fun Week, October 15th through 21st. Well I'd like to warn all of you that uh and you can keep this in the podcast or not. This is John Hodgman in New York City. I have profound affection for all three of you and I think that I figured out which one belonged to which name about one year ago and and or maybe even six months ago. I think I asked Jesse could you just walk me through it and he sat me down he sat me down in front of some headshots and we got it done but you just barely beat out our dad actually. I have no I have no no visual to go with your voices so if I get confused between

who's talking I apologize. John you can picture me however you want. That was Travis nailed it. Alright that last one was Justin. Wow. And then wow that was Griffin. It sounded weird right. I've got that that baritone register. Yeah that's that's baritone for the McElroy brothers yes. And here's Griffin on the bass sing Mr. Baseman. Wow. I'm sorry to have brought up Mr. Baseman so quickly but gentlemen how swiftly can we move into the eternal mystery of Shanana on this program because this is I got home from my night shoot on a on a non-television program at at 1am and and and with the intention of eating seven slices of pizza and going to bed immediately

and while I got the seven slices of pizza down I then had to go into a deep Shanana hole because my good friend David Reese had had finally convinced me not he didn't he convinced me at the beginning but I finally got around to on his recommendation to listening to the great Andy Daly podcast project episode Wolfman Hot Dog which involves Andy Daly's character famous waterski or hot dog largely talking about his obsession with Shanana and I had not thought about Shanana in a long time and now that is all I can think about so I apologize in advance. Well and now you spread that through the consciousness of our millions of fans yeah into that you've you've injected your serum into the hive mind yeah what is what your

listenership is uh is fantastic it's something it's 35 million is that correct at this time it was 30 it's 36 million this week we had a we had a really bang up episode things that really turned around since we let Chuck Laurie take the show wow well good for you good for you we're joined by John Hodgman uh this is my brother my brother and me and rather than uh you know just spout on prattle endlessly we thought we'd oh are we gonna try it differently this week yeah how about an actual expert oh uh answer questions uh submitted by you the people uh have we established just a real ish have we established and and forgive me no I this horrible this horrible horrible thing but the area of your expertise my name is John Hodgman I host

the judge John Hodgman podcast which is another less popular podcast on the maximum fun network that's not true I have numbers that say that's that's not true at all I haven't you haven't seen my numbers well look there are different numbers that can be counted what are numbers and there are three of you and there's one of me so that makes you more popular I think well yes well we have to split ours three ways though well look another podcast on the maximum fun network and uh I also uh well I have had a lot of jobs over the past six years much and all of them to my surprise I was on the daily show and continue to be on the daily show from time to time as a contributor as the resident expert and deranged millionaire on the daily show with

john steward I was in a series of computer ads for apple computer which was such a wonderful job that ended now uh 35 years ago today isn't that weird wow I'm currently I'm currently a recurring character on the fx comedy married and uh and uh and I was working last night on a different uh television slash non-television program I guess and a founding member of movement shawnts right oh if only if only it were true I did not mean to intimate that our listeners did not know who you are or your your story body of work I was more suggesting your your the things which people walk up I walk up to you on the street yeah um which is a very unlikely scenario and I say hello mr. Hodgman and your brilliance blinds me for a moment and then I would and then I would

imagine my pepper spray does yes um and I say I need you to assist me with blank right I'm just assuming it's everything at this point well I did write a series of books of complete world knowledge and fake trivia and uh and all based on my universal knowledge of uh everything I have made up which is largely largely based on all of the shrapnel of trivia and small weird little facts that have accrued in my brain over these 43 years and you Griffin are but a child right you are 17 19 years old 13 13 years old big first age whoa whoa easy there big brothers just ribbon I understand but tell me your actual chronological age uh 27 uh Gregorian years yeah you're so you know we all we all pick up in a crew a lot of weird facts over our years and as we get older and

weirder we tend to spout them with even more and more authority when I was your age I was acting like a 35 year old now I'm 43 and I'm acting like a man sniffing the air coming up from his grave but as it is I can help the use of today because of the experience I've had as an as a as a famous minor television personality internet judge uh and uh father and um and longtime uh monogamist we actually we actually this may surprise you John we pulled down a very mature crowd we pulled down the like the Burke's law audience you know what basically our main cross-section you know what I love about your show is that you start out by saying this is not for kids and then you just swear and swear and swear and it's liberate it's it's it's liberating it's it's

freaking liberating I dare say uh all right John time to put your um your wisdom to the test with these uh hit questions from our listeners because there are correct answers there are correct answers to these here comes the first I recently grew out a mustache it's not quite as impressive as your own masterpiece but I think it works the problem is I keep getting this paranoid feeling that everyone around me thinks it's meant ironically can I stop for a second did you say did you did you say masterpiece I said masterpiece I I wish I said mouthster piece mouth would be right you have any tips for making it obvious that the lip hair is sincere or two getting over this feeling and not giving a shit that's from hunter well no I mean the the the exercise of growing

facial hair is a existential exercise as much as it is physical exertion at least for me that counts it's physical exertion three hours a day just flexing your upper lip yeah it it you what you what you appreciate when you grow a mustache is that um you are repulsing everyone even even even the people who love you the most the people who love you the most will be the most uh repelled by by your hideousness because they knew they knew the the best version of you which is to say pre-mustache this they certainly knew the smoothest most baby-like version of you and I know you brothers all rock a bunch of different facial hair configurations and so you know that the mustache in particular despite pockets of of mustacheism and in in various

college educated parts of brooklyn and austin texas I dare say where it is where it is being celebrated like a like a like a like a pre-prohibition cocktail which is to say loathsomely the mustache is is large is largely a symbol of of middle age uh uh resignation yeah sure yeah quitting is right middle age quitting and and growing one the process of growing one is a hideous thing to watch and then when it becomes fully uh ripened it is no better um and so what you do when you grow a mustache is that you are undertaking a profoundly selfish journey uh to see to see what there is inside of you at least behind your upper lip

I'm trying to imagine I'm trying to imagine you in that that uh pupation phase and I don't want to even try and guess what it is for you because it's different for everybody right for same Elliott it's it's 45 seconds for Michael Sarah it's been it's just it's just been going for a long time I I cannot imagine you in did you cloister yourself for the the period of time in which you were you had a uh what what we affectionately call a stender stash uh because it is the type of mustache of the a gentleman uh that you might see in the west end of huntington west virginia hang on what when you had a halfway mustache when you had a halfway what is the derivation of you know I understand the question but I mean a west ender a west ender okay a

stender stash all right I thought I can actually answer this one for John thank you you saw John Hodgeman when he had he has been posting to instagram updates of his mustache growth yeah this is a timely conversation because in in a in a fit of good taste uh I irrationally shaved off all of my facial hair um just one weekend a half ago and uh and it was interesting because I I I thought well you know I I deployed every every follicle that I could over the summer because I am like I am like a stender do you know what I mean sure you know a huntington west virginia by any chance so you know what a stender is yes absolutely that's I should mention that our 36 million listeners are all based in in huntington west virginia so it's it's it's it's really it's

really they all they all are based there but they live elsewhere they come back on Monday they come back to listen to our live recording of the podcast I grow a terrible I grow a terrible beard and I was away with my family for most of the summer outside of civilization which is to say in Maine and I therefore decided to deploy every follicle that I could just to see who was lurking inside of me and it turned out to be the IT guy from the church of satan and everyone got ruined my family got really upset with me and so I decided well you know it's been a long time I'll definitely shave off the beard and since it's been now almost four years since I've had a mustache I don't want to feel dependent upon it and I want to see I want to see who's in there

you know who's who's behind who's behind the curtain of hairs and I feel like that I feel like that idea of the summer camp facial hair experience is a is a very universal one so much so that I actually applied for a job at a summer camp when I was in high school and the application expressly forbade the facial hair experiment right it expressly for and I'm not sure this is not a joke it literally said on the application that if you are coming in without facial hair this is hand vests on which now is facial experimentation yeah exactly we expect you to haze each other and and question your sexuality and and and have and do experiments in human cruelty here at camp but no creeps please and be sure to beat the kids from the jock camp across the lake and do you

want to know something dodgeball fight we were so we were we were in in main vacation land USA they they called it vacation that's what it's that's on the license plates and I figured out oh they they they in 1820 when they invented main they called it vacation land because they hadn't figured out what a vacation is it because they couldn't call it america's canada right exactly but so my human son went to went to a camp on a lake a day camp and one and one day I was driving home and he goes those kids across the lake at that other camp are such snobs and I'm like what he's like yeah that's the rich kids camp and they are snobs did you just covertly get a small video camera out and start your your found footage uh camp movie yeah yeah and that's how we that's

how we ended up driving off the road because I got on that but you know my my son uh is uh is nine years old and has never seen meatballs he's never seen any of those movies I don't know where this is coming from and what's interesting is at no point did I ever believe that it could be true that there was a rich kids camp across the lake it was too on the nose I thought some of the older counselors were gaslighting the kids there there have to be some sort of zoning laws about camp to camp proximity that someone saw meatballs and said no this cannot this cannot come to pass so we saw heavy weights and said we can't let the fat camp be close to the skinny camp no no no no no no heavy weights now you're now i'm gonna be up all night researching that thank

you for getting Sean on out of my mind but it turns out there is there's a rich kids camp across the lake and it is like the richest of rich kids camp it is like the the sons of royal of middle eastern royalty now is it possible that those kids are all actually really thoughtful and nice but everyone's just like but they're snobs such snobs and the kids are really giving and sweet and like caring what no no because what I mean I'm sure that there are some of them there there's there's a good egg in every camp full of middle eastern princes but the old adage but I asked around town they're like yeah those kids are monsters they all they were matching they were matching purple tracksuits oh the words and they're constantly going through town and causing

trouble and then and then they have huge luxury luxury motor coaches that take them on on trips to akkadia national park and such and at the end of each year they burn an owl in effigy yeah and they turn to their business jobs it's a it's the place where the the the son of a white man who went to Yale university can feel like a working stiff so anyway to answer your question here's the thing next question here's the thing your mustache is going to look bad for a while and then it will be a mustache and it will continue to look bad well let me just say a mustache over a beard is is more provocative than a beard the only facial hair configuration that I think invites more derision and confusion would be an Amish neck beard and nothing else which I'm working

on next but it all of this facial hair is is basically an invitation to the world to make a bunch of dumb cracks you can't control what they're going to think about your face any more than you can control what they're going to think about your face and it is exactly what you as suspected is a journey into self-confidence where you realize my face and is is more important than or what I want to do with my face is more important than what other people think of me and I will take comfort in the fact that I will be totally alone and no one will kiss me or love me for a period of time I'll shave your basketball number in the back of your head bonk this is almost that that bit was almost one of those dove commercials that always go viral that's like you are beautiful

don't let anybody tell you any differently I thought this is going to be our hit and then Travis comes in with the basketball number shit and then we lost it forever I thought we're probably going to inspire some people I'm moving on to a new question and please can I just clarify I'm not saying that anyone is beautiful I'm just saying you know we're all pretty we're all pretty ugly in different ways the ones who are ugly on our faces are tend to be the lucky ones I have been a bookseller for seven years not me this is the question yeah and I think my next I thought I thought you were asking me to euthanize you and I think my next career step is probably either working at a publisher or a literary agent so your first instinct wasn't too far off as a former terribly

famous professional literary agent do you have any suggestions on how to start are there courses I should go back to school for do you just start in the mail room and see if anything opens up I also have amicable relationships with a few decently one on authors within my favorite genre would say getting character references from them on my resume made me more enticingly employable and that's from searching to shovel spots on the sinking ship of signature your signature is extremely accurate you are you are moving from deck chair to deck chair on a sinking ship and all of the deck chairs are on fire even the band has quit and they've escaped with the sinking ship yeah the band the band is making apps now they're like this is stupid oh look you press

here it sounds like a violin oh here's a million dollars but you love books and and you know you can't do you can't change what you love sadly the only problem is that you have it exactly right it is essentially just start in the mail room that's what it was 20 years ago when I started I did I consulted some friends of mine who are still in the book industry we're in a position to hire people and first of all they're not interested in what authors you know and they don't want to hire you and second they're like yeah we we have an internship program this is at my old literary agency writer's house which is a great place we have an internship program here we hire from our internship pool that's how you learn it's an apprenticeship system usually young people come in

will tolerate very small salaries in order to be around things that they love and then they learn the business from within there are publishing courses you can take the the columbia columbia has a publishing course which I think is a non-degree course and then nyu has a master's degree in publishing but and certainly that will put you into the city where book publishing happens and put you in contact with people who are doing it but ultimately it is a network and apprenticeship arranged business just like hollywood just like podcast and and I think the the the warning that you have to take is that you are going to have to start over your seven years in bookselling will aid you but will not allow you to make any kind of lateral move you're going to have to start

low they can read I assume so they have that skill yeah for sure for sure I mean I think being a booksellers and I don't know what's what's more interesting if I were you and if you love books and you love making books I would go work for an agency because agencies control the thing or not control but have influence over and can nurture that which has value in a in a world of changing media which is creative people are they the bad boys of like the publishing industry you mean like are we the shanana the publishing industry yes totally I became aware of bowser from shanana because of his appearance on a late night uh like time life compilation program and it was so sad because it was some some woman of of indeterminate fame and this guy bowser from shanana who's basically

selling you his culture this is the last he was sort of boxing it all up for you and asking you to make an offer before he unhinges his jaw and swallows you whole I don't know how much shanana is is going to track with the humans who listen to your program but what I would encourage them not to do is look too deeply into the shanana bis because they're it's not these guys were you know this is this this is this uh this 50s nostalgia group that formed in 1968 eight years after eight years after the thing they formed a nostalgia group but it only oh here we go the only the only reason the only reason it worked is nostalgia was that there had been this profound cultural change in in music and culture and so it truly was as though the 50s had been you know time warped out

of existence 5000 years and they represented a completely different culture these guys up at Columbia University started singing these doo-wop songs from 15 years before or 10 years before and suddenly they're this oldies act and then they go to woodstock and then they get a tv show out of it they're all really talented dudes but none of them have they have that that completely it like weird rock and roll pedigree which is that they're all white guys from massachusetts they have no r&b behind them at all they're dancing and singing in gold lame and their show is somewhere between you know uh the malt shop and studio 54 there's so much bare chest hair one of the cool guys is like 37 years old and bald it is insane this is like a warm this is like a warm blanket this

description that you're just draping over me on a camping trip the question they're just so now did you you shaved right okay then i'll tell you the story of Shanana the questions that these they're talented and terrible at the same time they're dancing it is the laziest choreography that i've ever seen big glennie who plays the saxophone who's from my home commonwealth of massachusetts and is still still alive and still out there blowing sacks this guy this guy's got a beautiful tenor voice but should not be on tv not because he doesn't have a good look but he has no presence whatsoever on tv he's constantly flapping his arms around while he sings like some obese bird it's insane like everything about it and and then they all quit they all quit and became

doctors and attorneys and professors one of them is a linguistics professor at Hofstra University and uh and they're and they're all they're all professionals now those who who are still with us uh except for bowser who's still out there selling the grease right and then and then jocco donnie and screaming scott the nice thing about starting in 68 with the 50s uh uh culture for bowser is that now if you are not aware of their history he just looks like somebody who's aged really really well how is this guy still hanging with this this lifestyle because it was close enough to the 50s 80 it seems like a really really old guy who looks fantastic appending the word by the way appending oh i know yeah this is what this is what i've been

thinking about all night long you guys everyone you know what you can all go down this hole together let's go under the catching up on this john and you are very right about this gentleman i got distracted from the conversation and i just wanted to say that uh bowser from shana is a co-founder of a group called senior votes count which is a political action committee for old people you guys i think the rest of this podcast should just be the the sound of us all just quietly clicking the internet and then just speaking up when you find an interesting channel that's what my third of the program usually is uh here's a question for everybody what dishes would all three of you cook on a cooking competition there's somebody not great with math there are four of us now but

anyway what dishes would you cook on a cooking competition i'm going to be quiet for a minute i'm just going to say scrambled eggs the end go oh that was not going to be mine was going to be you know what i do well that that's what makes it a competition from the frugal gourmet i learned this recipe to make an omelet that has uh uh apples cooked in brandy and then you put those in the omelet that's really good i think i'd probably make that justin you and i need just you're bringing up the frugal gourmet means you and i need to go sit on a porch somewhere for a couple of years and you know about his sad history well i'm not gonna say had the the sadness that he brought yeah he was a founder of shana na and then they forced him out he was not in shana na you're too

frugal get out of here if you had told me that the frugal gourmet or as my uncle jim used to call him frug had been had had a segment on shana na in its fourth year of syndication in 1981 i would be so i would believe it so hard and i would hate you for the rest of my life when i learned wasn't true we were making a lot of money on shana na and we want to spend it on shit i don't know not so fast but jesson seriously let's not let's not go down a frugal let's let these guys answer uh probably some sort of pie oh really i i know it's it's it's not a great tactic like a dessert like a dessert pie or a chicken pot pie uh no a dessert pie not a not a quiche um a dessert pie probably something with pecans or blueberries inside of it yeah it's like the only

thing i can do that i feel confident uh about do you do you bake with uh with shortening or butter or what no i typically store by the the crust which i know is blasphemous but by which i you know this is what i'm saying do you know what you get for that at the at the state fair a black ribbon and that means you're going to be killed within 24 hours and then the crops will grow again uh i make things incessantly absurd drawing machines books musical instruments and furniture to name a few i'm good at the solitary business of realizing these works but my trouble is with the social effort required to sustain my ability to make them i understand that people are most concerned with their own lives and so talking casually about my projects

or worse promoting them makes me feel manipulative or conceited how do you make people aware of what you're doing without making yourself feel obnoxious so that's from bashful in brooklyn what and that's promoters are for right that's who's a higher man yeah who's bashful in brooklyn first of all you're i i think that here are the things though that i would even though this person is a liar and a fraud i can still address some advice to those of you who are out there who are making choices of what to do with their lives creatively and there is discomfort that comes and anxiety that comes and being creative person first of all this this liar and fraud is correct that most people are concerned with their own lives no one cares about what you're making

and that's the way it should be you make something that draws someone attention that will happen naturally you have an opportunity to put it out there you do have to put it out there you don't have to believe me you don't have to be going on twitter saying check out my stuff check out my stuff check out my stuff if it's the work is giving you pleasure then it should give you enough pleasure to to put it up for sale or take a picture of it and put it on tumblr or try to get it published or whatever you don't have to be an incessant self promoter you don't have to sabotage yourself either and then if i find you don't i find helps with that what have a wife or a friend with you that will do it for you and then you can act embarrassed embarrassed like well i yeah

yeah i do do this thing because that's what friends are for for promoting your ship for you and you think it would be a collaborative thing that's why i made such good friends with flavor flavor all those years ago yeah you need a hype man exactly although what the what the fuck have you done for flavor flavor lately no flavor flavors is helping his brand wait does flavor flavor have his own hype man is it a like an unending chain of hype he hasn't it or hype man yes i think you put your finger on it exactly that internet is it ends with me um because i'm i just can't i just can't get anybody going i got one more question in the tv's the cosby show uh which huckstable child is the best in terms of plot lines memorable sayings and

overall attitude that's from bill lever in baton room really touching on your your your key practices your your strengths in the cosby verse well i i actually been catching up on a lot of the cosby show on uh on on the video on demand function of my cable box because they're funny you know what guys those were shows were well written well written funny charming shows that my children love they find it incredibly accessible and they don't they don't they don't know anything about pattern matching from the eighties sure they don't know and now this internet stranger is trying to turn it into a cosby child blood sport right where they they fight for dominance that is not how mr cosby ran the set sir everyone there was held to high expectations

but they were a family just ask malcolm jimal warner who will not stop talking about it that guy but one of the things i when i was a kid i loved peter the caucasian obese neighbor because that was my entry point to the show it was your way in and i obviously i i was in love with and part of me still is in love with lisa bonnet sandra sure thanks so sandra is actually my favorite because uh she is the she is the schrodinger's huckstable in that i i don't know if you guys know this in the pilot episode of the show they do not acknowledge or accept her existence right as an extant human being they say i think uh what either clare or cliff says don't be cool you know exactly who says it uh clare says uh something along the lines of she says something

along the lines of having four children right addressing i'm i'm assuming denise and theo and rudie and finessa while not acknowledging saundra's existence so she doesn't come in until halfway through season one and then she's only in like a few episodes or not a few are you suggesting that she's uh that she's a hallucination i'm assuming that she exists in in in both quantum states at the same time at that moment she she did not exist or maybe that was just like a really harsh i'm gonna look up the quote because maybe they were just burning rudie can we address that this exact strategy was applied to miss judy winslow after the fifth season of family matters anybody they judy winslow the young daughter disappeared like it is it is

beyond creepy there are fifth season their daughter was erased never to be mentioned again from the from the stream from the time stream uh okay what about what about richie's older brother on happy days i think what we're saying everyone siblings on every episode of boy meets world where suddenly someone will have a sister for the purpose of an episode so someone is disappearing and reappearing the siblings of culture everyone there's a there's no one should be more concerned about it than you guys a sitcom baba yaga is is luring these children into the woods the exact line from the cosby show in the pilot episode which does not acknowledge uh sandra it's it's sandra theistic claire says why do we have four children cliff says because we did not want five so it is entirely

possible that they are saying rudie you were uh a mistake uh you bring a lot of heat to this show but um uh boy howdy we we really should have stopped with an even quartet i agree i agree that sandra is the most uncanny of the of the causes of life you look at her and you you just think like am i looking at a a person am i looking at anything right now it's so hard to tell she goes into a room it makes me really regret that i didn't come on to the show as the as the previously unannounced fourth mackleroy brother sadly you're still john hajman uh popular personality uh on the the television podcasts and films and we're so uh flattered and grateful that you made time to appear on our program today it really means a lot to us well i am this the stage are you are you

still uh are you still on tour oh thanks for asking yes i'm doing several stand-up comedy of performances in october in philadelphia madison milwaukee chicago akron and pittsburgh and then in november in uh oh in burlington vermont lebanon new hampshire hartford uh connecticut and north hampton massachusetts thanks have you ever thought about doing one in huntington west virginia there uh there there is a a very nice couple from west virginia who will travel to any event i'm doing that is in within driving distance of their town in west virginia and the name of that town escapes me it might be charleston the capital of west virginia but um uh they're always saying we want to set up an event for you in west virginia we want to set up an event for you in west virginia

i've always said yeah let's do it i'd love to come i've always wanted to see west virginia but then they sent me photos from a burlesque evening they had where they all dressed up as their favorite characters and they had two people doing cosplay as me and jonathan colton making out and i said well i guess i'll never go to west virginia that's all we that's all we do there john is is the stress out like you and jonathan colton and make out it's it's basically our national pastime statewide pastime i would like to i would like to come to west virginia asap and if if it's a we actually saw your show in austin uh where i uh my wife and i did and i almost accomplished my life's goal of throwing a piece of paper into david reese's open mouth now i was

wondering if you were yeah that that was a dream i've been fostering for some time now i have video backstage of everyone throwing those paper airplanes at david reese from from in austin texas and i think i could probably help you figure out which one of was yours i came so close oh my god i scraped his cheek he has a he has an enormous paper cut on his why didn't you why didn't you come out outside into the world with us afterward i tell we tell him these things uh i i'm just an enormously socially inept just you should have thought to reach out to you and i apologize next time is griffin here hello let me stop the show is griffin here i i mean i told you my seat and row in the hopes that you would come out when you were cold calling the audience that you would

come out and fetch me but he did the dog pound griffin was the one woofing the loudest you should have heard him let me hear your dog pound maybe i'll remember it wow wow wow great wow wow wow i do you know what i do i do remember it now if you heard somebody was haunting maybe not enjoying the jokes in the way that you are traditionally comfortable with but rather just seemed sort of bemused the whole time that was wow wow i did a show in washington dc on friday night in which i revealed that my uh my elderly cat pete had finally gone to his rest and someone in someone in the third row went woo i mean that was the greatest that was the greatest thing to happen in a comedy show

let me tell you i didn't have to do anything else for the rest of the night i just had to make fun of this monster in the third row john hodgeman thank you so much for joining us we sure appreciate you thank you for taking control of the situation that's what i do thank you so much uh john hodgeman for joining us that was a hoot i had a lot of fun i was really nervous about before we were all talking about how nervous we were before not me i'm cool yeah i'm cool as shit that's a lie i'm crossing my check it i'm crossing my arms right now it's like a my cool pose like i have my arms oh so not like obstinately you're like posing no they're like you had a like a great kishy just remind everybody it's max fun week still it was max fun week the beginning

of this program and still max fun week there's still a lot going on today share your favorite episode day so go tweet about your favorite episode of a max fun program don't forget that max fun week hashtag and uh tuesday that's tomorrow is max fun rocket coloring days there's gonna be a picture of our max our trademark max fun rocket it's trademarks so don't try and copy that shit jerk yeah but travis would you like to promo uh your appearances yes i would thank you um so the as of recording this um my jj go episode went up uh last monday um i had a lot of fun it was a dream come true we've been a fan so there's for a long long time um so go check it out i i enjoyed doing it and i hope you enjoyed listening to it um i was also on an episode of lady to lady another

wonderful podcast on the max fun network that if you haven't checked out please do um and that was released on the 15th um there are three wonderful ladies very sweet to work with um and i had a great time and i hope you enjoyed that episode too um and if you haven't listened to all the other max fun like max fun week is the time to listen to the other shows so we've got new shows that you should check out um shows that have been with us for a while that maybe you've just never found a good time to check out and this is the time my friends quit making excuses and also i'm on judge john hodgeman although i do not know when that episode goes up and you should listen to sol bones which is justin's other show on the max fun network and justin you were also on jj go

for max fun drive this month yeah it's a long time ago but it was fun too everybody check it out go listen to shows i want to thank john roger can the long winters for the use of our theme song is departure off the album putting the days to bed he's a dear a dear dear friend and life guide and spirit animal and he's my spirit animal and thanks again to john hodgeman thank you to you the listeners max fun week is a time for uh for our listeners to celebrate the the network but really the way i see it it's a time for us to celebrate you all who make this possible um you're all like the coolest uh the our fucking rock our island in the stream you are legitimately one of the best things in my life not to speak for my brothers but um i could take her leave you absolute

best um i i could take her leave him no that's not true you're you're my rock also um next week we're gonna have uh bros better bros best compilation because i'm currently in japan not like now but when it goes this episode goes up i'll be in japan sorry i just had to get over there they need me right now griffin's gotta fix some shit i got i got getting up good enough i got shit to pop and uh that's gonna do it for us griffin you have a final uh it's everything okay final you have a final uh yahoo yeah did you forget the name of the service i did i spaced for a second uh yeah this uh yahoo was sent in by drudhavenport thank you drudhavenport it's by yahoo answers user nokia who asks why do i feel guilty for eating

fruit i'm just a macaroy i'm Travis macaroy i'm griffin macaroy this has been my brother my brother may kiss your dad schooly on the lips maximumfun.org comedy and culture artist owned listener supported do you think it's okay to finish someone else's food do you have a fight with your friend over whether or not he should wear his filly's garb to a colorado rocky's game does your wife want to keep a chamber pot in her art studio if so please do not write in to judge john hodgeman i heard all those cases already judge john hodgeman is the show where i john hodgeman adjudicate disputes between real people calling in over the internet and i tell them who is right and who is wrong

over such important issues as is a machine gun a robot and is it okay to go through the garbage at the canadian house of pizza and garbage bail of jessie thorn rounds out the cast for a fun filled podcast of judgment and justice kind of two of the same thing actually judge john hodgeman take a listen if you do not mind i order it come visit the courtroom it is open to all and located at maximumfun.org