My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 33: Bramblepelt

Episode Date: December 6, 2010

As the temperature drops, your physiological need for wisdom increases exponentially. That's a scientific fact. Warm up your cold, unenlightened bones with a hot flood of genuine ad-vice, why don't you? It's got the rejuvenating heat of a fresh cup of cocoa, only it won't make your mouth feel all gommy after you drink it.Suggested talking points: Creepin', The Even Longer Con, On the DL, Daily Penis Briefing, Have Mercy, Methspresso, A Bad Scene, Troutleap, Friendtimacy

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? If you change your mind, on the first in line, honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know, gonna be around, if you've got no place to go when you're feeling down. If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flown on yesterday, take a lot like the wisdom right here on this show.

Keep it going. Take a look at the... Get it, come on. Say something about Holly. No, it's not a... take a look. Five and ten. But it's a parody I'm writing. I'm writing a parody, so give me five and ten.

You are listening once again. And it is not a sin. And if you ask, then you are sure to know. It's beginning to look a lot like wisdom here on My Brother, My Brother and Me. It's an advice show for the modern era. I am your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm the middle brother, Travis McElroy. And it's your boy, Griffin.

Hey, would you guys say... You asshole. Are we on that Christmas creep? Holiday, we're on the holiday creep. Am I the only one who thinks Christmas creep sounds like a hip-hop dance move that's taking the ducky or the orange soda? By the way, get on YouTube and search for the Kel Mitchell orange soda dance. He's back and he's invented an actual dance, I'm not making that up.

Yeah, except why he's back. The video is from 2008. He's definitely on his way back. He started a slow climb. It's a Christmas creep to the top. It's a Christmas creep. Can we write... Is it too late to capitalize on that?

On the Christmas creep? First you jingle your bell. I'm on that Christmas creep. As long as we can still do my B-side of Hanukkah hustle. Do the hustle. First you jingle your bells. Then you missile your toes. There's got to be something else.

We'll finish... This is something that really should be saved for my melody. My melody and me are improvisational songwriting show. So let's get right into the questions. We take your questions into us through email, Gmail, Tremail. This first one comes to us from Gmail. I recently met a Canadian girl on Omegle, and I've begun an online relationship.

My friend told me there are no real girls on the internet. Is this true? If so, should I still pursue a relationship with someone who might be a dude? Those are two completely different questions. Confused and Connecticut. First off, let's start with the obvious question. Are there real girls on the internet?

The answer is of course no. Nope. Not a one. Also there are no real girls in Canada. I was going to say in the world, I'm thinking we've all been duped. Oh my god. It's a pretty massive cover up.

Is it all holograms? It's pretty much 100% holograms. Hologals? Is that closer where we're at? This is a terrible situation you find yourself in because Omegle, for those who aren't familiar, is an anonymous chat service, right? That hooks you up with a random person

with no verification of their age, sex, location, anything. That you could be at the butt of a really brutal, long-lasting, hilarious to everyone but you, Prank. The longest con. They say love is the longest con. I think Omegle love is slightly longer than that. I'm going to straight up,

I think it's time for a little tough love. My brother and my brother and me style. What kind of life are you living that you start an online relationship with someone on Omegle? I can literally think of no worse place to start any kind of relationship, professional, romantic or otherwise.

That would be like suicide. It's like saying I met the nicest guy on chat roulette. He was wanking his dong. That's not a combination of those words. I know you're going for it individually, but combined I don't think that's it. I don't like that one bit. That's not a combination that works.

I'm almost certain it is. He workshopped it, take it out. Basically what you just said was he was masturbating his penis, which is redundant. Yeah, here's how we're going to turn this into a W. You're going to say you're going to meet up with this person and then you're going to say, listen, I'm too cool to meet someone I met on Omegle.

Never talk to me again. And then just like block them from your life. You'll feel good about it. Who cares? They're anonymous. You didn't know them before. You can go back to not knowing them now. And you just bail on this. You've got to pull the old eject and get out.

Trust me. You have a little to no investment in this. This is imaginary. This is not real. This is true love. Shit. You know how vulnerable I am to the possibility of true love. I know.

And it can spring up in the weirdest of places. And make no mistake. This is the weirdest place. The literal weirdest place on the planet. I mean, maybe it's just too lonely souls. Because that's all that's on Omegle. And maybe they just found each other and just connected on some deep spiritual level.

If that's the case, then you don't need to be worried about whether or not it's a dude. Here's my counter argument to that. Okay. There is no possible way, like in my opinion, that you are meeting the honest to goodness person that they are on Omegle.

Because there's no way to go on and go. And I snore. And I also, like, there's no way because nobody does that. Well, nobody does that anyway in the world. Yeah. I know the person and like, you know, it's not like I met you.

I've never seen your face. I've never spoken to you about anything that's, you know, real. And I love you. That's not how that works. I don't think that he's not saying let's get hit. She's saying, should I pursue? Okay. Okay.

Here's what we do. We're going to ratchet this up in ways that increase the real world intimacy of this relationship. First, you're going to call on the phone. If we're pursuing this. Two, we are chatting on Skype. Nice. And making sure no one's doing a ventriloquist nonsense.

We got to see the real, the real Omegle freak right there and make sure that it is an acceptable a situation. So you don't want to fall victim. You don't want to fall prey to a truth about cats and dogs style dup. You want to know that the correct voice is coming out

of the correct lady. Right. Okay. Nice try, Janine. Nice try, Janine. And I think another concern here is, you know, that idea, oh, it turned out to be a dude and we were sex chatting and whatnot.

Don't do that. Like you haven't met this person. You shouldn't be sex chatting or whatever it is you kids do. You may very well be. There may, there's probably a blog somewhere that says, look at the freaky stuff. I can get this guy to say at Omegle. Oh my God, I read that blog.

Yeah, yeah, it's that one. The really funny one. I love that one with the little illustrations. I love it. So, so hopefully that'll help. You just got to don't bail on it, but do you want some real world connections here? You want phone calls?

You want video chat? You want to really see this person and because you can't build a relationship with chatting anymore until we can until we can verify that this person is and there's so much in like that intonation of speech and in how you're just chemistry, if it's there

I say you got to go phone. But you got to be safe. Don't meet them anywhere. You have brewed up a murder cocktail here that you do not want to be sipping on. It's anonymous. That's scary. 100% of murders are anonymous.

None of your friends have ever met her. So there's no identifying her later. That's scary. That's very scary. OK. I feel like we should move on. I have hooked up with one of my closest friends a couple of times

and he tells me he enjoyed those times but he wants to keep our hookups a secret from everyone. Why doesn't he want to tell anyone? Because you're ugly. Wow. I'm just kidding. You also might be annoying.

Maybe you're terrible. Thanks for listening. We enjoy your patronage. No, no, no. He doesn't want things to get weird. You've got a group of friends, two people hook up and it's going to be a weird scene. Also,

there's another option that's not insulting to you. He might be terrible. He might be wheezing the juice. Why wouldn't you want everybody to know that you're dating someone or making love to someone less terrible

than you? Because he might be a sleazeball and so he might be like, no, I really like you. But don't tell anyone you should just sleep with me and then not tell anyone. Oh, oh, oh, oh. He's trying to get the proverbial

sex milk without having a relationship cow. That's exactly what it is. No metaphors either. I can never drink milk again. What you need to do you need to confront him. You need to be like, why are you keeping this?

No, I'm not saying you need to tell everyone. You need to ask him why he wants to keep it a secret. You need to be like, so what's shaking Kevin Bacon? Why aren't we, you know, letting everyone know? Yeah. Well, OK. Here's the thing that is very logical to me

about this question. He wants to keep our hookups a secret from everyone. OK. That's that's to me is a very logical like because it should be a secret. It is. You don't hear that shit out. It's a secret. It's a secret you have in this day and age. That's a treasure.

Something that you know other people don't that you can keep private. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. What a wonderful gift that is. But that's not even it. It's not just the beauty of secrets. It's if you get laid, if you get your bone on

like don't walk down the street like got my bone on today. Here's the name of the person that I did it with. You can't. You don't do that because it's Facebook. It's just not gentlemanly. It's not ladylike either. It's not what

people do. Like, I don't understand why this person's upset. Do they want them to be like, hey, what's up? We fuck. Hey, do you hear about me and Jerry? We fuck. We fucked. It sounds like to me like there's like maybe

you want more than he does. That's what this question is really about, isn't it? Yeah. That's what this question is really about. You want to take it to the next level and he wants to keep it a secret uncomplicated. Again, makes total sense, but if you I will warn you of this,

you do need to ask him if you're interested in a relationship. You need to ask because it sounds to me like you do care a little bit more than you're letting on. And you can't let your heart get busted up hooking up with this guy continually

if there's not going to be any relationship there. Can you agree with that, Griffin? Can you agree with that? I wasn't listening. I have a yahoo answer question. I was like in the middle of the wisdom. I got into a real nugget of this and you're like moving on. Did you get it? Sorry. It's a busy day.

I'm on that Christmas crawl. I'm going to set you on fire. What are you doing, Travis? Are you listening to me? I have a good sequitur. Again, you're leaving. You're leaving this question. Do you feel like you've answered it or can you not say? What if I just told that person a murder suicide?

Let it simmer. Professional advice. Just let it chill. Let it simmer. That's the opposite of what I just said. I basically just took what you said. I'm just going to stay back here. I've boiled it down to a

rich syrup. The opposite. It's like you melted down the chocolate and made lava. There's no connection between the two ideas. This yahoo answer was sent in by Patrick Toy. The only advice show that makes you dumber. It makes you actually less equipped to deal with your situation.

Yahoo answers user OhNo asks, Are females attracted to the penis? Just as males are attracted to female breast and butt. When a man sees female boobs and butt, they go boing, lol, I am immature. Is it the same thing

when a woman sees a male penis or are they like ew? It's like ew. It's lady bone zone. I can't believe that's a thing. I can't believe that's a thing, Travis.

I can't believe that a lady sees a boner and goes mmhmm, yes please. Not a boner, just a penis. A flaccid. Just a flaccid, dangly penis. I don't think the reaction could possibly be, oh yes. I think

I'm not a lady. If I had to guess, I would imagine the reaction of something more akin to, well, here we are. Well, we need those to make more life. Oh, you again. Of course. I can barely look,

my shower hanging brain. I can barely observe my own thing. Right. Without getting a little sick. I can't see my own without a complicated network of mirrors and volunteers. I have someone come in

and describe it to me every day. I have Leonardo DiCaprio come in and sketch it. We have to be on a boat though, or I can't finish it. My penis report. My daily penis briefing. I wish Morgan Freeman would give my penis

the power to control the world around it. Yes. And teach me a valuable lesson in the process. I feel like we're dodging the question. I think women's reaction is probably like when they're looking at a bunch of ingredients before it's time to cook something.

Everyone likes to eat cake but there's nothing necessarily appetizing about eggs and flour. I get what you're saying. What? There's a logic to it, right? There is some logic to it, but in the context of the question,

you're making it sound like women are turned on by baking. Of course. The interesting thing about this question is of course that with men who are into large breasts, the larger they get, the better. With women there's very

differently. There's a bell chart. There's a bell chart of interest and it peaks and then it goes like wow, it plummets pretty quickly. Thank God for that. I think this question is

illustrative of the fact that it's hard for guys to understand why women find guys attractive because we're gross. I assume women are attracted to the same thing on dudes that dudes are attracted to on women. Girls look at butts, right?

Don't they? Personality? Is that what you meant? Yeah, they look at personality and they're like look at that nice, shapely personality. If I'm being judged on my breasts and I don't, it just seems to be the situation that you are

describing, that is not a part of my body I have ever worked on to improve, knowingly at least. I feel like we're in one of those moods where we're anti-helpful. We're making all these situations worse. So let's do another one.

I'm an atheist and I haven't done, don't feel like telling my family. How do I politely get out of going to Christmas Mass without them asking too many questions? Form spring. Wow, this is a good question. I have my answer which is you go to Christmas Mass.

Because it ain't about you. It's about your family. Yeah, that's kind of true. I totally get where you're coming from. I get the whole like you're not feeling it so you don't want to go. But it really is

it's like an hour and you're going for your family so they can feel like that togetherness. And also there's a lot to, even if you're an atheist there's a lot to like in the ceremony, the tradition. Sure. You know there's usually some

incense. That's nice. Shell. Some pretty music. I mean there's nothing that says that an atheist can't go to church. Yeah, you're not going to burst into flames as soon as you cross the threshold of the building. You're not voting either. It's not like I'm for it. I'm for what's happening. You're just there

to in respect for your family. You would go to a church if a friend were getting married. I would think of this the same way. Why would we really knock that one out of the park? Finally, some actual help. Should we, I think, should we should we talk about our Christmas?

We're going to call it our holiday holiday. No, fuck that. You can't kill my Christmas. I'll take questions. I'll take Hanukah queries. I'll be the Hanukah query guy. So we're going to do a holiday. Can we call it can we call it ha ha ha ha ha

like ha ha ha ha ha because we're going to, we're going to make it funny. I'm sure we'll have a wonderful name for it by the time it rolls around, but we're going to be doing that on Christmas Hanukah. Christmas Hanukah. Get it. If you have we're going to do all holiday questions.

So if you have a, if you've been waiting to get on the show and you have holiday questions and you want you want to ask them to us, make sure you get them to us by let's say the 17th of this month

and we will address those. I'd also like to hear about, even if we don't end up using these, I'd like to have people write in about their traditions and ask us if they're weird or not. Oh, I like that. It's sort of in the advice realm. We usually ask that people

don't ask about poop and masturbation and I think for this our holiday special we can repeal that. No, I mean we need to extra don't do it. Double do not do it. I want this to be an episode where when you travel to your family's home

to your home's place, your ancestral home you can say here let's gather around the fire and enjoy this together. I like that and maybe when I edit the show I can edit out all the curse words. With jingle bell sounds. And then add in different curse words. So I can be like

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck and all you'll hear is jingle bells and it'll make a song. Unless you forget and it'll be like sorry grandpa. The best episode. Yeah, so make sure you get those questions in.

I currently have a boyfriend shaped hole in my life that I'm trying to fix. For pretty much my entire dating life I've jumped from long-term relationship to long-term relationship with whatever best guy friend I had at the time and consequently I've never really dated or hooked up with anyone. I'm 20 right now and

I think the last time I was really single was when I was 14. My friends have been telling me I need to go crazy and get down with some random dudes which sounds intriguing. But I miss the reliability of having a relationship. What should I do in BNBAM? Love on always, alone and indecisive. Gmail. Oh, well.

Your friends sound like they give terrible advice. I don't trust your friends. Do they have a show? I didn't think so. No. I don't think that that's the going crazy with a bunch of random dudes I don't I don't see that there's like it's a big risk

and you risk I don't know hurting somebody or getting hurt yourself and it's never a good advice and with stuff like that I like to take it and try to apply it to different situations and being like you know I just lost my job what should you do get a bunch of jobs and then quit them

like that's not that's not good advice for any situation like I just finished a diet what should I do eat a bunch of food like no that's not a good advice to take for any situation yeah I just don't I don't think that that's a have fun

and maybe don't look but see here's the problem with this whole thing people's you can't give advice on how to proceed like with your relationship in general like here's what you should do next here's the type of relationship you can pursue because we don't control

when these things happen we don't control the type of people we meet we don't control the type of relationship we get into I mean if it's the person that you if it's somebody who can make you really happy why would you just randomly bail out the best advice I can give is to not try

to do anything just live your life and you know what happens happens don't set the mindset of I'm going to go out and get crazy and get down with a bunch of random dudes no because then you're trying to manipulate how that works and that's not a good way to go also but you don't want to go out and say

I'm going to find true love because then you're trying to manipulate it the other way just be yourself live your life what happens happens we are saying this though we're giving this person this advice because we have all done this thing where we get out of a long-term relationship

or at least I God knows I have like I got out of a long-term relationship and then all of a sudden you know I my eyes were opened and I I went crazy as you said and I think that and got down with random dudes got down with just so many random dudes and I think

the reason the three of us are saying it's a bad idea is because we did it and we know it's a bad idea and I think that may just be something you have to do I think you may just have to have the bad idea part of your life I think you need to have that I think that's important well okay well let's compromise if you do

do that that's fine but don't set out to do that because your friends told you to like that's what happens that's cool I think that that's the better I think maybe a way to sort of a way to sort of put this in perspective something that would be applicable to you

is be more cautious of entering into long-term relationships like rather than setting out to do that give yourself permission to get out of relationships if they're not working and I mean early I mean like three dates it's not working

bail and do go on dates I think that that's something else that that maybe your friends are getting around to and maybe that that's something that could work for you in a less harmful way don't just go out with friends you know go on some actual dates with people

yeah in your 20s this is when you start dating and I'm gonna sound like an old man you're so young though you have so much time you know just enjoy yourself and you know go have fun responsibly

yeah just go out there and just get your dick wet yeah okay not quite it's 2010 women have dicks hahahaha what Griffin how about a yahoo

yeah sure I had so many good ones this week thank you everybody who sent them in this one was sent in by Action Allen it's by a yahoo answers user Shane S who asks how do gel pubes and what styles

are there hahahaha I am a guy and my boyfriend says he finds it sexy for my pubes to be gelled anyone know any styles for my pubes to be gelled give me a detailed process additional details I use gel that I use

for the hair on my head why what happens if it's an alcohol product I don't know about that I would like some serious answers anyone know any styles for gelling pubes I got a few anyone who gelled their pubes before preferably an answer from a guy

I'm going to have sex tonight please answer I like the Gabe Kaplan which is a bunch of curly on top and then a row of straight right underneath it I like that I think that's a real good look I like the top too if you have time to diet

I like the high top fade with some racing stripes on the side and your basketball number in the back how about the Joanie loves cha chi where basically you give your penis side burns and then like a pump like a little pompadour up on top all these are good

also spray tan your penis that's an important step for that one adjust your penis you could try the twilight is very popular that's where you put a bunch of glitter down there and when you hit the sunlight and I am assuming you're making love in the daytime

it will sparkle and that's something that a lot of guys are really into you could try the mc hammer too what's that about the mc hammer is where you have just three straight lines carved into the side and then

directly below it you've sort of in like two billowy legs of pubes that shimmy back and forth as you sway and jostle so like a fume and shoe oh the fume and shoe is very different

out of pubes so you basically make legs out of your pubic hair you make hammer pants out of your pubic hair you could also do the uncle jesse which is just a lovely bouffant of hair on top and then when you take off your pants just scream

have mercy well you should be doing that anyway regardless of how you decide to style your downtown mane it's important that you all have mercy every time you expose your penis to your partner I like the young Einstein

which involves electricity and patience oh Jesus looking for something low maintenance try the Sasquatch that's let it go now we're getting off the subject because he obviously wants gel to be up in the mix and that's a very natural

look the Sasquatch there's at least three different elvi you can do too by the way there's young Elvis there's fatter there's fat sparkly Elvis and then there's the Elvis Costello where you hot glue glasses upside down on your balls

right I like the gonzo what's that you just keep bending your penis until it forms a permanent nose and then you make Jesus Christ Travis I'm sorry but that doesn't have anything to do

with hair you're disqualified damn it so I guess since Travis is disqualified the game is over and who won all of us except anyone who does any of the things we just said to do they are the loser

I'm having so trouble staying awake at work my job begins at 7am I have to wake up at least 5.15 because I take a bus and a train to work the bus and train trips are short enough that I cannot sleep on them I usually go to sleep by 10pm

no drugs or coffee please help me in BNBAM that's from Gabriel Gmail does he deserve I mean if you're going to shut us down like from the get by saying no drugs or coffee I don't think he deserves

or if you're not going to open your mind to the two best options because if you won't if you won't do drugs or coffee I mean you've got to carve out some nap time you've got to get better at falling asleep

on the train don't do that because you'll get you'll wake up with your shirt you have to learn to hover right above that falling asleep point right before you pass out and so you get the rest but you don't miss your stop

you're on that inception tip that's exactly what it is is it maybe he says no drugs or coffee do you think that it's a mutually exclusive thing if you think if we suggested drugs AND coffee oh that's cool

because sometimes I'll take a few nice meth crystals none of that foggy shit just pure glass and I'll crack that up and toss it in my folders instant mix and that'll usually keep me up for about three or four

days until my teeth stop bitching the problem is your job starts way too early and so by the time by the time you hit noon you've only been to work for five hours

but you've been up for seven and you only slept for seven the night before so you're using up your sleepy time you need a nuclear path but that's the thing he can take a nap after work but by that point it's too late he's tired at work

the thing is you need to decide you need to have a lifestyle change you can either take naps all the time which would just depress you you could change your career which you probably don't want to do because any job I found starts at 7am

is usually something you had to work really hard to get in the first place or you could just get down on that meth espresso that seems like the easiest option is to just chuck some meth espresso every morning except on the weekends because if you do it every day you will die

the good news is and I can tell you this from personal experience eventually your biological clock will balance out and you won't be sleepy at that point you'll be going to bed at 8.30 at night but your body will get used to waking up at 5.15

now if you've been doing this already for two years and you still can't stay up and I have bad news this isn't the job for you because your body is not going to balance out it doesn't agree with you what do you do at a party where you only know

one person leave leave immediately say this party is fun for everyone but me cause that's worse than being at a party where you know zero people cause if you're at a party where you know zero people you can go get really drunk

and make some friends and do some crazy shit if you know just one person you're either just going to hang around them and make a total boob out of yourself or you'll get drunk and then the friend will tell all your other friends

what a boob you are it's a lose lose this is one of those situations where if you're a really super outgoing person this is your chance to make friends if you're not this is the time to go home yeah you got it

the odds at least have to be in your favor you at least have to have a majority and then meet new people that way but this is not a good scene for you if you don't already know the answer to it then you shouldn't be in it I know I would be like if you didn't have

if the ratio wasn't 75% people you know at a party you would take right off who's you just me this is a chance that you need to be preemptive in this and when your friends like hey let's go to a party

and when you're like who am I going to know there and they're like me don't go to that party I mean everybody does that totally within your rights don't be yourself up about this give yourself a break this is one of those things where you always kind of feel rude

asking the question who's going to be there but it's for situations like that so it's important that you say like not that I don't want to hang out with you but if that's the case why don't we just go somewhere else we'll go see a movie and I don't want to go to a party where I don't know anyone

dear sweet mbm my bf says he wants to change and is thinking of dyeing his hair blue and then he said or maybe I'll get a tattoo I think both of that is so terrible I don't keep him doing anything silly but still satiate his need for change

encourage him to dye his hair blue vs get a tattoo because at least that's not permanent yeah let me ask you this David I agree I understand where you're coming from but

why is it so important to you that they not do this like don't you love your bf the way he is because I would think that if it's somebody you really care about then you want them to get if they want the ink if that's important to them

to do that well let me let me counter argument that Justin if he says or maybe I'll get a tattoo it doesn't really sound like it's a super passionate thing yeah it sounds like your boyfriend

is bored with something else maybe his job is boring or he's having family troubles or you know he's just been around his small town too much and so he's trying to you know strike out from other directions instead of dealing with the problem that he has

so I think you need to talk to him and be like hey what do you really want to change because I guarantee it's not your hair or a tattoo that's a good, wow that was actually insightful Travis thank you maybe he could take up a pipe that's the new jam right

are you getting in front of that is that going to be like a 2011 thing let's do pipes, let's get pipes that's a big change and it's healthy and it makes you look awesome and it makes you look so cool if you do it right

I love it yeah I think Travis is on the right track sometimes everybody gets those momentary impulses where they say hey I need something different let me suggest this to you David maybe some travel

we can go someplace completely new someplace you've never been before and then when you return your familiarity will be a comfort rather than a burden also a pet a pet is always good a pet is good, maybe an eyes wide

shut style sex cult hey get fully sex cult up on that hey maybe 100% sex cult where we start listening to the cult and that's what Craigslist is for give me the yahoo yeah I got one

I've been staring at it the whole show it's like a deep dark pit this question I think we just got to dive into it even though we don't know where it'll stop it was sent in by goodbye babelon babelon which wasn't that a

is that a David Gray song I don't know it's by yahoo answers user ruby heart mckinley who asks what are some good warrior cat names what I need five warrior names three names for three black cats

one for a white cat and one for a brown cat please I have no fucking idea what's going on with this question there's no more details that's all we've got warrior cat names now

let me read you some of the answers this one was sent in by josey jay feather mckinley or rather it was answered the answer was provided by josey jay feather mulkini hey there's your first name name one who says

I love creating warrior names smiley face here's some for black cats night shade night river night fall night fire night hunter shadow skin shadow shadow rose shadow child shadow bird

shadow storm night storm night bird fallen shadow night wing oh jesus here's some for white cats lily pad lily heart lily moon white shadow white claw white knight white moon white rose white leap white horn snowfall ice wind frostbite frostpull snow song

here's some for brown cats thorn prick cobra strike snake skin viper fang adder snap bramblesong bramblesong thorn wing fallen snake snake bite hodgepodge black and white and orange silly buddy

mixed up oh jesus christ could you read the first name there's a full page of people providing answers like could you read the first name for the white cats again the first name there's so many that I can't repeat them

I'm almost certain it was lily pad lily pad was one of them that is not a scary warrior name girlfriend do you have any ideas on warrior names for brown cats let's see what the other people have to say brown cat bramble pelt sun fern

sand dust sandy pelt sandy mist bramble pelt tabby claw sand claw sandy claw dust claw ferro flight autumn flight trout leap morning dew out of a mouse fang trout leap rose whisker

like what the fuck what is a warrior cat this is why I am scared for humanity every answer to that question should have been what the fuck are you talking about aurora song like what are we doing this is this

horrifying truth that we have on earth with this show the whole other worlds there are whole other things that don't connect to us we don't have any vines reaching into them to give us some connection

it's a completely different planet that's just spinning wildly we have some wild misconceptions about the furry community that I feel like we now understand and totally accept into our hearts and collective minds but what bramble song

bramble pelt what are we doing here I'm not angry I'm a little angry I just want to know what's going on are people dressing up their cats in tin foil armor and just taking them outside and yelling hidden mist

star chaser here's what I want I want to see this guy actually picks 5 or 4 cat names and tries to get him to follow him star chaser go

bramble sky you're just licking your butt this is not a warrior like attitude for a prick oh god fun prick that'll make you hit with the lady salmon leap

I'm so can someone explain this is this a big enough thing that we'll have listeners who know exactly what this is our freaky list there's one guy right now who's like pretty good

I knew I'd listen to this show for some reason oh god I have a friend who has recently started dating a new girl the only weird thing is that her best friend is a boy who is gay none of us in the group have a problem with her or her gay friend whatsoever

is the fact that our friend and her will sit in the living room and her gay friend will start to do weird things like rub her feet while they cuddle on the couch which makes us all ridiculously uncomfortable our friend has even told us that her gay friend snuggles with her in bed and when our friend is in bed at the same time

oh yeah that would be weird if that's not how it worked out no no no this means it's gay friend girl her boyfriend okay oh my god the real mind boggling thing

is that our friend doesn't think this is weird when it obviously is how do we possibly break the news to him that this is totally not normal without offending him and tell him his girlfriend is a weirdo for letting this continue confused in carolina this is brutal

what is the deal with your friend that he can't realize this is weird I need to let this wave of sadness just wash over me I need to shake it I need to absorb this dusk flower bramble snow

I just want to be there for the moment don't mind me bro I'm just going to be down here rubbing her feet you guys do what you are doing well first of all that's the creepiest thing that two human beings can do to each other regardless of their relationship status or gender just like hanging out with some buds

don't mind me I'm just going to rub her naked feet is this cool I would rather see you french kiss I would rather see two people french kiss than two people especially if it's like a mutual foot rub I think that there is a good chance that this friend of hers the gay friend is a serial killer

yeah he could be a serial killer now it's sad okay so here's the poop on your situation the gay friend is obviously in need of intimacy now he may be very well be like super duper gay that's fine

but the problem is that we've talked about this before that if you're dating someone that is like has a bunch of gay friends it does not give her or any of them carte blanche to make out at any time

that's still super fucked up like physical intimacy and being attracted to somebody or two very different things and it's still somebody who's like being intimate with your with your friend and being intimate in front of you and I mean intimate in like the

literal way like you're doing things you shouldn't do in public regardless and also psychologically the physical action creates the mental reaction so it's like making yourself sick thinking about vomiting makes you feel sick

and being intimate with someone even if it's kind of skin to skin friend intimacy it's still creating a weird bond there it sounds like this girl is serving as like I don't know a security blanket for the gay

friend where she's just like this outlet for intimacy or it's vice versa I mean oh yeah that's also very possible it's just fucked up like it's it's rude what's weird though is none of the three people in this situation like directly in the situation think it's weird

the gay friend doesn't think it's weird the girlfriend doesn't think it's weird the boyfriend doesn't think it's weird now that's a good point I mean is it within her friend's right to you know to infringe on this

and tell people how to live their lives yeah it seems like this would be someone else's call but you are totally within your rights to look at it and go man that's weird your job is to not hang out with them anymore because that's weird well tell them that they're making you uncomfortable

I mean I don't care anymore with that saying like hey I know you're like you're way gay like super duper gay but that you're still rubbing your feet please stop touching feet please you walk on those your feet live in your shoes like this is all

this is all just topsy-turvy but see but no here's the one point I'll disagree there it is not our listener the person who wrote the question and it's not your job to talk to the gay friend you get to talk to your friend and be like dude I'm not telling you to do anything I'm just telling you this creeps me out

and I'm not going to hang out with the three of you anymore yeah you're weirding me out yeah because it's weirding me out and I don't know them bramble pelt cat eyes now that was a bad one trout place

I want to hear Griffin's last question but a couple quick housekeeping things don't forget to send in your holiday questions nbmbam at gmail.com I'm on that Christmas creep I'm shaking jingle bells

pointing mistletoves teach me how to doggie teach me teach me how to christmas doggie holla doggie that's the name of the special holla doggie holla doggie special

come learn how to doggie the first annual worship the baby jesus we'll learn of the first doggie so get those to us also very important the time is winding down I think probably the cutoff to get

nbmbam gear by christmas is quick approaching I saw on twitter that they're gonna start shipping this week did I imagine that in a fever dream? no it sounds right to me but if you want to make sure you get something by christmas

like I said I haven't heard a firm cutoff I'm sure it'll be this week but keep get your orders in we've got pack your bags hoodie we've got coffee mugs we've got

my brother me logo hoodie and the profits from both of those hoodies go to big brothers big sisters got the girls logo tee got the cardinal red logo tee and the brown heather dark chocolate logo tee

oh and those mugs yeah the mugs I said the mugs we've very established that you're not listening very well this week gotta get a mug go to our website too even if you just want to hang out nbmbam.com we need to update

we need to update time to update forums are poppin even today people are over there talking about stuff we got ranks there too somebody hit second cousin already

oh nice I'd like to thank everyone on twitter who takes something they hear on the show and retweets it or they just give us a shout out hashtag mbmbam my favorite one right now is adam underscore a a

who says if you're not listening to the mbmbam podcast then no amount of world aids day is gonna save you hawk nine six six four is also out there spread the word n Austin Gardner with the old classic bed bugs live in your eyes

everybody knows that thank you cool I didn't know what I like I didn't want to sleep ever again which is nice I always see the tweets of quotes and I have no idea like I don't remember saying that they could just be saying random random words

I really appreciated all of we got a lot of I would say just bile just a lot of angry angry bile that we didn't we didn't make it in the podcast awards and just seeing people get angry for us like protective parents I appreciated all that

I'd like someone to come up with a podcast awards in the forums that's just us just the awards that we can win I'm ready to say right now I've decided not to go to the awards thing I wasn't invited to yeah good for you yeah yeah I'm boycotting that thing

we weren't invited to good so one more time just to reiterate I want to make sure if you want gear you get it by Christmas so get over there and order it this week earlier the better and keep an eye out on on twitter

on our twitter we will retweet it but also level up studios twitter they'll put an announcement there I am positive so and their username is just level up studios oh one word so Griffin

give us a shadow song final question of the day this one was sent in by modus madison thank you modus madison it's by yahoo answers user poncho via who asks in all caps how come my dog sounds like it says lamp when it barks

I'm just macro I'm travis macro ramblepel this has been my brother kiss your dad square on the shadow song keep your heart man these girls are smart

these girls are smart play your part