My Dad Wrote A Porno - Best Of Book Six

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Jamie, James and Alice look back at some of the highs and considerable lows of book six in Rocky Flintstone's 'Belinda Blinked' saga. Come see us on our World Tour in 2022 - tickets available at mydadwroteaporno.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Be honest. When was the last time you thought about your current business insurance policy? Here's the thing. If your business insurance coverage renews on autopilot each year without checking out zensurance.com, you're probably spending more than you need. That's why you need to switch to a low-cost policy from Zensurance. Zensurance does all the heavy lifting, ensuring you're only covered for what you need. And coverage starts at only $19 per month. Visit zensurance.com and secure

your new policy online in a matter of minutes. Zensurance. Mind your business. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to My Dad Wrote a Porno. It's a very special day in the Flintstone household. It's very exciting. Congratulations are in order. Yeah. Rocky Flintstone has become a become a grandfather oh thank goodness you said grandfather the grandfather of porn oh my god i really worried you'd added another kid to the brood oh god could you imagine what was that thing that margaret thatcher said we have become a grandmother we have become a grandfather um yeah very exciting so that means you're an uncle now

i'm an official uncle and a godfather again he's he's trying to beat me he's trying to beat my school james i was asked to be godfather of my new nephew yeah the next day i was asked to be godfather to another child i'm up to four guys it's quality not quantity to another child he asked he saw a child on the street he was like i've got a godfather for that do you want one he's placed an advert in the paper will godfather for cash um well that's lovely news congratulations it is it's really exciting many congrats to every flintstone in the family um do we know the name are we allowed to know the baby is called bam bam oh it's perfect very nice we're gonna keep the name a

little bit on the down low just uh for my sister's privacy but yeah really really exciting basically so everyone doesn't grab the domain names exactly in 50 years it'll be my grandfather wrote a porno and this whole thing will start all over again oh my god great great but that's not what we're actually here to do we're actually here to do. We're not here to talk about Dabbing and Grandad. We are talking book six. It's time to review book six, guys. I'm always surprised we call this the best of book six. The worst of, would you rather?

Yeah, exactly. Or just like... Some of. Notable moments. Oh, okay. Yeah, things that made us wheeze. The easiest bits of book six to remember. Yeah.

There are a lot though. I put out on Instagram actually asking people for their favourite moments. Yeah, thanks for getting in touch because we wouldn't have been able to do this without you. No, because as usual, Alice forgot everything. Well, it's funny you say that because you said, what are your favourite moments from book six? And you didn't reply. And so I, well, actually I started listening from the beginning of the series. I got partway through episode one and i wrote down like five

things right who says she hasn't got a life obviously me listening is me listening for the first time because i don't remember a single god obviously yeah yeah um what are they well actually it's all it all just seems to be consecutive so there's just one moment it's a little bit that you like this is a lovely little bit that i like so do you remember when toffee apple chew wears a rosette yes to the westminster abbey at the funeral I just adored oh I can't remember that that's one of your highlights of the book sick playing the spoons at the funeral oh yeah really good the order that Spooner had last ravaged them was the order that they were in the queue yeah and then the one that basically is my favorite moment from that episode what Is Jamie trying to say the word morning,

but of course he can only say... M'hurning. M'hurning. No, it isn't me not being able to say it. It's me saying it, you know... Are you about to say properly? I'm resisting saying properly. See you in prison,

because that is the biggest crime I've ever heard. Okay, I can't speak properly. I copped to it. Well, before we get to it properly, we should talk about the tour, because it started. We're in it. Oh my god, I know. So much fun. I'm in Werning for my life because now we're just on the road, baby. A lot of people are asking if you need to be up to date with the podcast. Yeah, you don't at all. I mean, it's dad. Nothing makes sense ever. And actually, it's kind of a fun standalone. So it's quite, it's sort of the prime

thing to bring your mate to that's not necessarily as much of a belinker and also you get to write some of the book this live show dad's done a kind of like pick your own porno show whereby the audience at various points throughout the show have to decide decisions and it takes the book into different directions so you are part of the show like never before yeah no two no two shows are the same. It's great. It's all your fault. Exactly. And don't forget, if you booked a ticket way back when in 2019,

ah, the good old days. Oh, those days. Halcyon. In UK and Europe, then your original ticket will be honoured and there is a rescheduled date waiting for you. So just check out mydadwroteporn.com forward slash live. All the info there about your new date. And we've also emailed you personally to remind you to get your ass to the theatre. for you so just check out mydadwroteporno.com forward slash live all the info there about your new date and

we've also emailed you personally to remind you to get your ass to the theatre yeah James actually has done that I know which I really love so check your trash probably in there

took me ages one by one did you actually because there is a way around that I should have we should have said I wondered why you look so knackered but you get a little

taste of what it's like to work with James exactly very organized man just reminding you this is what you bought please still come see you there i'm looking forward to helsinki i've never been to helsinki before bit of finland yeah me too actually yeah first time in finland alice where are you looking forward to um yeah where am i looking forward to london probably it's right near your house well funny you mentioned that actually because the five palladium dates have sold London, probably. It's right near your house. Pop straight back up. She's covered in pyjamas.

Well, funny you mention that, actually, because the five Palladium dates have sold so well that we're adding another one May the 18th at the Royal Festival Hall in London. So if you missed your chance on the Palladium ones, do not worry. We're going nowhere, baby. North America, US, Canada, we're coming to you.

San Francisco, Los Angeles. Seattle. Seattle. Vancouver, Toronto. Yes. Radio City Music Hall in New York City. I cannot wait. That will be our biggest show ever.

And that's the final night of the tour, so it's going to be mega. So, if you haven't got your tickets yet, what are you waiting for? They are selling out. Go to mydadwroteaporno.com forward slash live. They are selling faster than the cry no more knife at the Steel's Pots and Pans store at the Pots and Pan Pacific Conference. Easy for you to say.

Yeah, very much so. Which, speaking of, we should delve into the best, or our favourite, let's not say best, you're right, James, our favourite bits of book six. Well, we have to, like, there's one that just came up time and again. I think I know what you mean. Is he a DJ?

He's a DJ. He does the breakfast show on Steel's Pots and Pans I think I know what you mean. Is he a DJ? He's a DJ. He does The Breakfast Show on Steel Spots and Pants Radio. The man is an icon. Bella wasted no time in jumping onto head of marketing, Ian Snail. Oh my God,

the snail me at Buckfest. Sorry, we're just talking about Ian Snail at the end of Buck 6. Ian Snail is allergic to salt. He's not a slug. Aren't they the same? They are, they're slugs with houses. I just spat my champagne

all over my face I would ask why we've never heard about him before because this is the best day

of my life it takes him so long to get to the office I think that was one of the

top five moments of my life when we heard that name for the first time. We were so drunk. It's such a wet, sloppy response. It's just like snot and like snorting and tears and wheezing. Oh yeah, the cleanup after that episode, Alice, must have been... Oh my God.

I had forgotten quite how much joy that brought us, but hearing it again has actually given me a light head what is it about ian because there's obviously loads of like package act names in this book what is it about ian snail specifically that got us so hard it's so evocative it's not just us though people have drawn incredible cut that's a tattoo a guy got a tattoo yeah it's half snail half man holding a briefcase like he's got this a shell and it's massive on the top of his arm it's not okay it's not a little one if you're gonna do it do it properly i think it's because unlike the build-up to some characters ian's now just slid in yeah

under the radar on a letter sleeve and also i think because it was the last episode of the series we weren't and she was back at's, we weren't expecting a new character. Oh, my God. And suddenly, bam, Ian Snail. Least of all, someone who was quite so important to the company structure, and we should have heard about far sooner. Oh, for sure. I mean, that's just pure Rocky, isn't it?

Book six, end of the book, still delivering iconic characters. Like, Ian Snail, I mean, dare I say it, has maybe surpassed Toffee Apple Chew as novelty characters that people enjoy it's a proper Noah's Ark isn't it Steeles oh it really is there was somebody else that made an appearance in book six who I really enjoyed and it also was at the same point that we learned something about Tony's office Belinda Tony said sternly, I must introduce you to Giles Cotton's birth. You absolutely must, my darling. Oh, Giles, I'm so sorry. What a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

Panting, Belinda wiped sweaty strands of hair from her forehead, pushed her tits back into her blouse as she smiled at an elderly lobbyist reclining on Tony's sofa bed. He's got a sofa bed in the office? For those long nights. He's lying down on a sofa bed. You've got to commit when it comes to steals. Honestly, the structure of that office is just mad.

The furniture. But think, you know, you're about to close a deal in, I don't know, Hong Kong. You can't go home and go to bed. Exactly. Yeah. It's a 24 hour business. It's barely an eight hour business. That was actually quite a dramatic episode, wasn't it?

That's where George turned out to be Giles. Yes, yes, yes. And Belinda tried to apprehend him. Oh my God, yeah. In her own inimitable style. Belinda began to prepare her tools to perform a citizen's arrest. That took my breath away What tools

What are the tools Get your hammer out Wait are you going to say She's going to handcuff him Because that's not what you do On a citizen's arrest No she's not going to handcuff him She's going to fashion handcuffs

Like a blacksmith Puts on a welder's mask Great Tools For a citizen's arrest Only Rocky Like a blacksmith. Puts on a welder's mask. Great. Tools for a citizen's arrest. Only Rocky. A citizen's arrest. That is so good.

I mean, you'd think that because Belinda is kind of in cahoots with MI5 and stuff, it wouldn't need to be a citizen's arrest. It could just be an actual arrest if she has that sort of authority. There's a lot of confusion about the jurisdiction around those arrangements. Does she just carry that tool bag around with her at all times? It's her briefcase. Oh, of course. She's got a spider in there.

She's got a hammer in there. She's got a chisel in there. There was so much kind of spy stuff. It really ramped up the spy narrative. It kind of completed it in a way, this book. It got quite complicated, yeah. And one of my favourite bits was when Belinda came across a gadget from Senor Zip. One was a cool radio for the shower.

It's waterproof. Belinda tested it out to start the day. And while she was washing her soapy tits, she was enjoying the music. How clever that no electric shocks could happen despite this piece of electrical equipment being near water. I know that this is really stupid, but I'm with her. A shower radio. I just love a shower radio. Blows my mind to this day.

Honestly. It's on cards, isn't it? And they called it puppy love. Interception, interception. Oh, it's a communication device. Interception, interception. Then Senor Zip's voice rang out as clear as day. And they call it Interception, Interception. It's just a remix.

I think that's a Victoria Beckham song, isn't it? With Dane Bowers, loved it. I think Dark Child produced that. I love that he could have had any gadget. He could have invented anything. He just went with the shower radio. It wasn't in a previous book, an anklet that could turn into binoculars.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think interception, interception should be what you say when you go to interrupt somebody in a conversation. Interception, interception. Just wanted to say. I actually think there was a much better gadget in this book that wasn't even linked to the spies.

This was a new Steels, Pots and Pounds product. Finally. The aforementioned Cry No More knife. Yes. G'day, Pan Pacific. She bellowed. I can't imagine that was the reaction. To the weed.

She bellowed to no one in particular. Welcome to the cutting edge onion buster utensil everyone's on about. On about. Although I personally love the stylish oxy onion goggles of last season, I had a 3D pair myself. 3D. The boffins at Steeles Pots and Pans have now created something better. I give you a sharp knife that blows air

outwards as it slices onions. Right. The silence... It's a hairdryer with a knife strapped to it. The silence in the fast dispersing crowd worried Belinda.

Oh, it's clearing out. She's done an absolute rotter. Who just shouted out, yeah. Now I know why she wasn't very sure about how to use it. This is the future. With that authoritative statement, Bella began chopping an onion live on set. Live.

A live onion chopping. Imagine the spectacle. David Blaine's not done this one, has he? But unfortunately, the settings hadn't been expertly calibrated on the Blade air filter. Much to her embarrassment, squirts of onion juice sprayed into her heavily mascarade eyes. So now it's sucking the air back and like sort of... It's blowing it into her face.

That is badly calibrated. Why does it even have that option? Ah, no! My eyes! They're blinded by juice! I forgot quite how chaotic and that's cut down we missed a trick an onion live

I mean we should just do that cancel the tour we'll just go on stage and each chop an onion why did we make a show we got some genius designs for that actually after the

oh my god we did one guy created a whole do you remember this trailer he did yeah like a cgi trailer advertising the crime it looks great i'd actually buy that but yes i'm great someone really delved into the science of it and actually made a practical working it's amazing the science of what i guess the little fans that would blow the onion juice i don't know i just love the image of bella just like like floods of tears trying to sell this thing i mean it was quite a big book for bodily functions generally actually i think i know what you're referring to george you asshole vomit chunderbuff you vomit chunderbuff vomit chunderbuff i said vomit chunderbuff i thought that was like a german colleague vomit chunderbuff

hair vomit chunderbuff hello i'm James Vomit thunderbath Oh You You know Mrs. Marshark of Ulster Gloss I'm hair vomit Thunderbath

So it goes George You asshole Vomit thunderbath You have Spew sick Wretch Absurd Absurd Absolutely crazy you have spusik wretch absurd

absurd absolutely crazy I don't think we get enough credit for the character names we come up with in these books sometimes and actually James Vomit Thunderbuff

sounds like you would be sort of high up in German society oh yeah yeah yeah don't you think I'm ready to change my name yeah I don't know there's a kind of glam about it.

Duke James Bobby Trimble. It's a name that everyone wants. But not everyone can get. I did particularly enjoy this year that we kind of got to know Belinda's backstory a bit more. You love the biography. I just think she's an enigma. We've discussed before, and I think this book did some work,

I mean, not a lot of work, but some work to kind of fill her out. We learnt about her past, where she came from. Oh, yeah, we learnt about her parents. Arriving to the family home, she was shocked to find no one at home. Oh. No matter, she thought. Dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line. A line?

Mum's on coke? Mum's doing a bit of Charlie? I don't know what sniffing a vine is, but I know what sniffing a line is. Oh my gosh. Dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line. Parents, Belinda knew, were not perfect. I mean, it's really no surprise that they're absolutely bonkers. We learn a lot about them and their personalities,

which I guess pieces together why she is such an eccentric woman. Unusual lady, yeah. She's given me real, like, Idina Patsy vibes from Ab Fab, the way you portrayed her, Jamie. Yeah, I have a lot of notes on the mum. How do you grow up with that personality? And to be fair, end up as normal as Belinda.

What was her job? She was quite a shit burlesque dancer, right? She wasn't very successful. And she had quite the ditty. Yeah, she just would like do performances to anyone who walked into her kitchen

she sung Belinda an intoxicated torch song oh my god he's gonna sing where where have you been my love you i have not seen my love it's true your body's looking lean

how's he doing this off the top of his head? What is this melody? But first and last and only daughter And that took a turn. Why do you look so mean? Is she writing this on the spot? Jamie's writing it on the spot. Literally. Old Mother Bloomingthorne. old mother Bloomingthorne old mother Bloomingthorne

oh yeah my dad looking for you why is that man my first and last and only daughter the only daughters are in it what is that tune does Rocky supply you with sheet music no I just I just made that up What is that tune? Does Rocky supply you with sheet music?

No, I just made that up because that was one of the times that I did prepare a bit in advance. I was like, what the fuck am I going to do? I have to sing some sort of song. And that's what you chose? It's so morose. What would you have rathered? Like, first and last and only daughter.

It's just haunting. It's such a strange melody. It was a torch song. It was supposed to be like, you know, anguish. Right, okay. And also, can we just dissect what she was actually saying there? So basically she's saying, you're never around. You look very thin.

You're looking thin. And why do you look so mean? Why was she looking so, so mean? It doesn't make sense. Well, Belinda was probably looking mean because she was like on coke in front of her. She was like, mum, can you just like chill for five minutes? She's not got a great poker face at the best of times. And when confronted with a version of Adina,

you're like, oh, not this again. Well, speaking of parents. As we love to do. Do you remember when Alice made the ultimate faux pas about your father? I wake up in the night and think about it. There's one rule of my dad wrote a porno. Yeah.

I just presumed... Just use Rocky's real name. How has that never happened before? I'm so sorry, that slipped out. Alice, you are no longer head presenter of Madness. I was going to say, things have really changed. I don't know how that popped out. What I meant...

The police are here! You're going to jail! You're going to the clink! And obviously, that night you spent in the cell. And I deserved it. My God, I deserved it. She's still tagged now. I handed myself in because there isn't a greater crime.

I can't believe that that hasn't actually happened before, to be fair. Yeah, I was going to say, that is genuinely the first time you've done that. I now default to Rocky. I very rarely call Rocky by Rocky's other name. Even in real life you don't, yeah. It's too risky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he has morphed into Rocky now.

Like the man that he was before is a mere shadow. He's sadly gone, yes. Yeah. But I can only apologise. I mean, hearing it there. You put the whole operation at risk, Alice. And I think I'll never forgive you. I must be honest.

I'm the weakest link. Goodbye. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes.

Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Be honest. When was the last time you thought about your current business insurance policy? Here's the thing. If your business insurance coverage renews on autopilot each year without checking out zensurance.com, you're probably spending more than you need.

That's why you need to switch to a low-cost policy from Zensurance. Zensurance does all the heavy lifting, ensuring you're only covered for what you need. And coverage starts at only $19 per month. Visit zensurance.com and secure your new policy online in a matter of minutes. Zensurance. Mind your business. There were some great bits that were like subtle stuff that Dad wrote this series that really made us laugh

particularly when he just wrote two words that made us absolutely howl it is factually correct huh okay this will be good lawyers on two dial oh god

what is this going to be I'm done I already Oh God, what is this going to be? Come on, Dad. I already hard disagree. It is factually correct to say that lust is as powerful a drug as heroin. And Belinda was an addict scoring on the badass streets of desire never have two words brought so much joy oh my god when he gets you gets you though doesn't he he just shouldn't be allowed to say that like let's just regulate the books in the future he's

gonna get us into a lot of trouble if he keeps saying everything's factually correct well we just delirious throughout this book honestly your poor neighbors i have to say look rocky is one thing and we know what we're dealing with oh he's one thing he's one thing all right my god he's one thing but the element of all of this that i just cannot forgive is Jamie's defence of Rocky. What do you mean? At every turn. Actually, at the weirdest turns. Yeah.

He jumps in and he's like a dog with a bone. Sometimes I think he just wants to fight. Honestly. I figure that if things aren't mentioned, you can plausibly say that they... Don't look at me like that. I can't defend you if you're going to be silly. But if Dad definitively says they aren't somewhere, then we know they are.

But if he just doesn't mention that they are or not, they could have been there. So is that now a rule for everything? Mickey Mouse is there. We've never mentioned him, but he's been following Belinda this whole time. What are you on about? Bella's covered in shit.

We've never mentioned it, but it's there. I haven't said she isn't. I didn't say Belinda wasn't a dolphin. The Duchess has 27 lip piercings. Okay, point taken. Fine. Steel spots and pans is on the moon.

You should have asked. I mean, it was absurd logic at the time. What an unbelievable claim. This is what these books have done to me. That will go down in history as being the weakest defence you've ever heard. go down in history as being the weakest defence you've ever heard. But something that you can't question is that he creates things that become common parlance, like part of our vernacular.

That's true. Heaven on a hat stand from years gone by. The cow's moo, a gentleman's woof. Oh, that's one of my personal favourites. The flesh of mankind. Yeah, exactly. And I think there's one thing that is being adopted by offices the world over. She was now expected to E-D-A-D-D.

E-D-A-D-D. Should we guess what? Eat dick all day, dude, or something? You got one word right in there. Dick. No. Oh, day. Day, yes.

Every day. Oh! Ass day. No, but you're very close. Every day. Yeah. Is it about like hot desking or something? She was expected to like... Mm-hmm.

Every day, anywhere. No. Every day, ass? No. Every day, ask. Ask? Yeah, ask. No, no.

Oh. Every day... Every day, allow. No. Every day, and... And? No. Oh. Fun as this is, I might just say. no oh every day every day allow every day and and no oh

fun as this is I might just say no no we're not done yet yeah every day what other words stop with a

every day anal no can we move on from the a and do the desk so it's like every day

something desk duty or something or desk you're close is desk in it desk is one of the words, yeah.

Everyday alternative desk? You'll kick yourselves when you hear it. Oh, God. It's one of those acronyms you always forget. So she was now expected to E-D-A-D-D. Every day a different desk. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Every day a different desk. They call it hot desking. Right. It's not called E-Dad. No, they call it everyday a different desk. I've heard thatking right it's not called edad no they call it every day a different desk i've heard that are you edading yeah me too why does he insist on making his life more difficult i don't know i think edad's gonna catch on because what's the etymology of hot desking it's like oh this desk is too warm i can't stay for long and now in like

a post-pandemic world you know people aren't going to the office every day. They have to share their office space. They're e-dadding. They're e-dadding. I would argue every day a different desk is not a pandemic safe way to live. But yeah, okay. Just spread it all over the office, baby. I've just remembered someone from the book.

Who? Like someone who became like quite legendary quite quickly. Clint. Do you remember Clint? Clint. Her old boyfriend yeah old flame yeah yeah yeah and i mean he played him like a uh what like an old mank stoner well that's what he was oh right okay he wasn't mank he was like he was from kent wasn't he um i did particularly enjoy it when they were flirting, that really awkward chat that they had. I love Rocky dialogue. Belinda,

am I dreaming or just doped? He said dopely. Could you be both, dearest Clint? Dearest Clint! Clint! Could you be both, dearest Clint? Belinda flirted casually. You usually are. Usually, they've not seen each other for 20 years.

Wow. I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke. I am. Belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette. Why? Clint laughed too. What, she pointed at her cigarette? Like, that makes...

Wow, I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke i am as she pointed at us fucking hell top notch better top notch better belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette clint laughed too then belinda laughed again thinking gosh it was always so natural. Oh, God! That's the most unnatural conversation I've ever heard. They're as thick as each other, so I can see why they got on. Gosh, it was always so natural with this dude. It's so fucking boring.

It must have been over 10 years since I told you you look like a foxy mama. Oh, my God. Wow. Foxy mama. Because he's from the 70s. I'm sorry. I want to tear my skin off. The thing is, Rocky is such a great conversationalist in real life.

Dynamic, yeah. Why can't he put it on the page? Oh, that is... I feel so stressed at how uncomfortable that chat is. How does he do it? Seriously, with so few words, creates such a whole person. I mean, I think a lot of credit has to go to voice work there i very rarely extend that compliment but you know really i mean fantastic it just jumps out of the speaker yeah yeah and credit to the listeners for you know trying to have an imagination and

trying to make something out of the mess one thing that i loved about this book was that we kind of finally had the wrap-up of the the kind of wider narrative that we've been enjoying for the past four books, I think. I hate it when he says narrative because it reminds me that that's what it was intended to be. Yeah, and wrap up is such a strong phrase for what happened. I suppose if you gathered the tatters of shredded documents, you are sort of wrapping them up into the bin bag. Yeah, and then tying the bin back yeah I suppose because so much of the books

have lately been about Belinda's pursuit of one particular thing and for once it's not an orgasm and well she found them Mr. Hushman

the background goon had felt the shift in weight from the tail being removed from his costume the blueprint the blueprints are from the tail being removed from his costume. The blueprints!

The blueprints are in the tail! Why? Why? Why? Oh well, I'll just put it in my tail for the sex party. What the fuck? Dad!

What? If these blueprints are on normal paper... The blueprints! He squealed as his eyes rolled from the back of his head to rejoin the scene. Oh, so stupid. One of the most extraordinary voices you've ever done. Thank you. It just doesn't make any sense. Why did he hide the blueprints in the table for this ex-party dressed as a mouse?

James, this isn't your world. Like, you're not to know the schemes and the tactics. Honestly, God. That whole end section of this book, I just loved. So that was when she was at, yeah, that sex party in Berlin. Kind of orgy. Yeah, and then she was chasing Agent XYZ, who turned out to be Maeve,

and then Bish came and that kind of scene. A huge theatrical performance there was the stage spectacular with the moving platform and the lighting and it really looked like it was going to be

curtains for Belinda they were about to kill her and then oh and Wayne Burt was there who was Dr. Robbins but he was actually an American oh my

goodness sure the three beans I guess were just his baked beans business I mean so much happened and we thought it was the end of Belinda but Rocky had us he had our backs three beans I guess with just his baked beans business I mean so much happened and we thought

it was the end of Belinda but Rocky had us he had our backs now before you die get on your knees and suck my

nice size cock that was horrible did someone say cock so Did someone say cock? So, oh my God.

So, whenever anybody says cock, even if it's not a member of the cock, she appears, I presume, on a horse. Did someone say cock? Oh my God, I love it. What an entrance. Belinda, Bish, Maeve and Dr. Wayne Burt-Robbins. We're still sticking with the alias, fine.

Turned in a gasp explosion. The Duchess jumped from her steedess and cartwheeled towards Belinda. Wow. Cartwheeled towards Belinda. She's surprised, isn't she? She's got the hips of a much younger woman. She centrifugally threw her body between Belinda and Agent XYZ

and karate chopped Maeve's back. So she fell stricken to the floor. Hurry up! Do you know what I can think about now how did they get Toffee Apple Chew to Germany I'm like and the cargo hold of a plane did Toffee Apple Chew just have a seat

or on to the ferry and then you drive on from there in a horse box yeah but like when you're in a bit of a hurry and trying to save someone's life yeah seems like there's a lot of like documents you'll have to fill in especially now we're not in the EU anymore it's not going to be easy.

No. You know, in Free Willy and the like, when they put killer whales in those harnesses and they can lift them out of the water, how far could you have a horse and a harness to fly it over? Probably not from England to Germany. To Germany, no. It's not that far, though.

I mean, what would it take to drive? Like a day, a day and a half? What if Toffee Apple Tudor drove? This is ludicrous. No, drove her in a horse box. She can't hold the steering wheel with the hooves it's not ye olden times toffee apple juju can't just ride across europe but yeah fantastic moment i just have this image of the duchess like atop a hill with the sun behind her very gandalf in yes exactly except inside inside in this strange room with this special ring and Dr. Robin

slash Wayne Burt with his travelling desk oh the desk the desk everyday different desk everyday the same desk for him he takes it with him like Ian Snail's house

but obviously cock the confidential order of Cookwin oh C-O-C-K yes save the day. Absolutely.

Everyone was kind of brought to justice. We thought everything was getting back to normal. They were just having a nice old orgy back at the office. And then came a huge twist. Yeah. Belinda was basically told by Sir James that business is brutal. She wasn't getting her job back. And that basically she should be lucky to even be employed on this temporary basis

that she'd suddenly had to endure with Bella being made the international sales director of Steel's Pots and Pans. An utter, utter disgrace. That's a lot to say. And the whole end of book six was kind of like revelatory. We flash back to Berlin where Petra told Belinda she had inherited Bisch Hairstellung and was now the head of the company. Only for Belinda to tell her to stuff it because she was loyal to Steele's Pots and Pans. So we thought we knew where it was going,

and Dad just did a proper U-turn. A full-on U-turn. We were going back to where we came from. The handbrake was on, and we were just spinning wildly. Business is brutal. Oh, oh, oh. Sir James's talk clattered around Belinda's cerebral matter, holding her nose from a slight stench of the steel's toilets.

It's barely been in there. Belinda finished dialling. Nervous-like, she held the phone to her right ear hole. Hello, ist das Petra? Est ist Belinda? I've changed my mind. How soon can I start? Oh, holy shit.

Belinda. Blink. Oh my god! But what a finale. Oh my God. I mean, actually genius. Actually genius. Stop now. No, but actually genius, Alice.

No, but stop. Because think about it. Like, what a great direction to take things. The rivals. The rivals. She's going to have to go to a different country, set up a business against her old company. Family.

Family. Yes, family. Yes, family. I kind of love it. It just shows, treat your employees employees well otherwise they will fuck you over just like belinda yeah if you two don't start treating me better i'm out the bloody door that is fine but not before we just finish we just wrap this up first oh yeah we have some things to say yeah yeah of course this was fun this was fun i forget how many funny bits there are and it's always to me it's always those little throwaway lines that you forget.

That just like, they just kill me. The magic's in the granular. It really is. Every time we do one of these, I'm always like, oh, fuck, this is a really fun show. I do love it. And not thinking it the rest of the time. No. That's why we brought him back for this.

I am in shackles here. I'm chained to my chair. Well, Jamie, it doesn't have to be over. It'll never be over, James. It'll never be over. We've got the tour over James it'll never be over we've got the tour we've got the tour yeah the tour and I guess we can say now

we're going to come back for some Christmas specials obviously it wouldn't be Christmas without Belinda and there's a few more should we keep those a surprise

a few more special things over the year yeah yeah yeah we're working on some things in the background don't look at me don't look at me we're just in the background

please we are Mr. Hushman the background goons we are working our asses off for you fun stuff though fun stuff fun stuff so uh we'll see you on the road and we'll see you later in the year lots of love from team porno picture this you're at a picnic with pals and bam you suddenly feel unwell but going to the clinic not the ideal weekend plan well those days are over maple's virtual care has got your back with 24 7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes need a diagnosis

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