My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Aphrodisiacs

Episode Date: July 13, 2017

After the horror that was 'The Chocolate Fountain', aphrodisiacs expert Amy Reiley joins the gang to discuss whether Rocky has got it right with sexy foods in 'Belinda Blinked'... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Pawn of the Footnotes. Now, this week we thought we'd try something a little bit different. As food is increasingly taking centre stage in the Blinderblink books, we thought we should get an aphrodisiac expert on the show to see if Rocky's actually onto something or not. So today our guest is Amy Riley, who has a Master's in Gastronomy from Le Cordon Bleu, very posh, and is the author of Romancing the Stove and Fork Me, Spoon Me. Hello, Amy. Thanks for joining us. Hello. I love the titles of your books. Well, I have a new one coming out in January called Eat Cake Naked. Oh, Amy. Thanks for joining us. Hello. I love the titles of your books. Well, I have a

new one coming out in January called Eat Cake Naked. Oh, what a command. That's the next series of Bake Off sorted. Yes, exactly. Well, yes, I was doing research and I suddenly went there's no baking book focused around aphrodisiacs and this needs to be done. So yes, Eat Cake Naked. So do you see it as a vocation as a calling rather than just a job? Oh, absolutely. And you know, the field work is amazing. You do have kids, Amy, don't you? Yes, I do. And in fact, my husband and I started dating when I was writing Fork Me, Spoon Me. And then my second child was actually conceived while I was writing Romancing the Stove.

So you had one in the oven while you were writing Romancing the Stove. So you had one in the oven while you were writing Romancing the Stove. I love it. So where did your kind of love for aphrodisiacs come from? Where did this interest start? Well, I actually, I started out as a wine writer and it's still truly a passion of mine. And I loved folklore. And I also love the sort of the science and nutrition of food.

And aphrodisiacs were kind of a place where those two met. And it fun so that's how it all happened really and you're a pervert well there's that yeah thank you for pointing it out yeah sure sure so you mentioned wine now wine is a massive part obviously of the uh belinda blink stories oh yes um she loves a chardonnay now where does that rank on the aphrodisiac scale well i would put champagne ahead of it but chardonnay. Now, where does that rank on the aphrodisiac scale? Well, I would put champagne ahead of it, but Chardonnay is not a bad choice. In fact, all wine is considered aphrodisiac, both historically and then for some scientific reasons as well. The scents of certain wines, and some Chardonnays will be included in this, replicate the scent of human pheromones. So you could potentially get turned on by smelling a glass of wine. Plus, you know, wine there now, all this research is finding out that wine is good for your

heart and any food or drink that we're told is good for our heart, you can also apply that it's going to be good for your libido because it's all about blood flow, if you know what I mean. Oh, I do. So Chardonnay, we're thinking she's going down the right tracks oh yes now what about um gnts she often serves those via the vagina which obviously i imagine would ramp up the aphrodisiac state well yes you know gin for sure you could say that gin's an aphrodisiac but every gin is made a little differently and some have more sort of a more of an aphrodisiac blend than others obviously though all alcohol is aphrodisiac and that it lowers inhibition as long as you you know don't overindulge it's going to work in your favor it makes you a bit silly yes um this week obviously belinda nearly drowned in a chocolate pool

um chocolate's one of the most famous aphrodisiacs. Is there any truth in that? Absolutely. Probably the best known or most associated food with sex. There's something called PEA, which researchers have proven can replicate sort of that rush of happy hormones you get from an orgasm. Now chocolate contains PEA, but an average sized woman would have to eat something like 25 pounds of chocolate in one sitting in order to feel this orgasmic rush, which is a bit unrealistic. So if you were to just use chocolate to turn you on, you'd probably be in a diabetic coma before you even felt any kind of arousal. Is that right? That's right. Wow. They've also found PEA in cheese and it's in a

bit higher of a quantity so you know it might do better with cheese so is cheese actually more of a turn on than chocolate well in a moment of seduction if you offer someone chocolate or cheese they're probably going to go for the chocolate uh that being said eating the cheese may do a little more for your sexual system and also cheese freshens your your breath cleans your mouth a little bit um kills some of the bacteria in your mouth so it makes you more kissable and although talking about it sounds now that i'm saying it out loud it sounds really unsexy but also if someone offered me a bit of cheddar i would totally be up for that like i love me a bit of cheddar like i think that'll get me going a bit of cheese on toast don't mind if i do uh i actually have a recipe in fork me spoon me that combines both brie cheese and dark chocolate and that could be

you know your best choice i'm not sure you'd get a second date from me amy so let me put you on the spot how sensual do you think the following dish would be blue cheese fish mousse please don't ever make me eat that what in the world is a blue cheese fish mousse I mean blue cheese and fish are you know potentially aphrodisiac and and mousse is a kind of a creamy sexy kind of thing but oh dear all together just no. So you're banning that, are you, from the bedroom? Yes, I'm banning that from anywhere. It's from life.

Can we run through another few of the dishes that come up in Belinda Blinked and see if any of them, you know, you think maybe Rocky's onto something. Turkey sandwiches. Great for a train ride, not for a sexual encounter. Speak for yourself, Amy. Stop being so judgmental.

Next up. Spaghetti bolognese. That's just a food bomb. That's just going to sit there in your stomach, make you fall asleep. You'll never make it to second base. This is a bit of a curveball. It's quite British, actually. Triflele i'm not going to rule it out okay it wouldn't be my first choice chicken kiev oh that's like boarding school food no we're getting a visceral reaction from you amy

on all of these dishes i feel like belinda's having no sex but do you think maybe there's something about a chicken kiev that has sort of um i guess a sexual organ quality to it that could maybe be like nudging you towards thinking about other things like subliminally it's a love pocket come on a love pocket it makes me think of a cafeteria i mean it's just no no no unless you had a crush on like your i don don't know, history teacher. No, no. It's not going well for Rocky so far. He's chosen the most disgusting foods. There must be some foods that resemble other things that have a physical quality to them that make them aphrodisiacs rather than their taste or texture. So what foods look sexy? Well, it's true that a lot of foods have that sort of history. I mean,

the Indian word for avocado is testicle tree. Nice. I don't, whatever. A man clearly named that, not a woman. And, you know, cucumbers, of course, have that kind of distinction. This is not my favorite category of aphrodisiacs, the foods resemble um something sexual it's just not my not my favorite i don't really put much stock in that seems a bit obvious doesn't it you look at a cucumber you think of a penis come on no i don't but men seem to think that you're supposed to i don't know alice does i do i mean i i really can't enjoy gin and tonic with cucumber in it in the summer bit of a curveball but i've heard celery has some sort of aphrodisiac qualities yes uh celery actually has natural plant estrogens kind of a random thing that you'd never guess beside the

fact is you know some people say it looks phallic yeah i hate celery like i really hate raw celery so that's not one for me but you might do anything to get yourself in the mood so it needs must uh celery is actually better for women so you can skip it and you'll be fine yeah james you can just have the blue cheese fish mousse oh delicious yum yum one of the textbook aphrodisiacs i feel like that everyone always wangs on about it's always in films people always talk about it as a kind of go to it's a bit of a cliche is the oyster now we don't have oysters in the book but we do have caviar can we talk about caviar momentarily? Oh, yes. Well, all eggs, and that includes fish eggs, are symbols of fertility. It's not so much a symbol as much as it is the thing. Do you know what I mean?

It is, yes. But as the thing, it's become the symbol of the thing. I hear what you're saying. I mean, it's pretty meta. It's a little circle, guys. Caviar is also a source of arginineine which is a nutrient that's been proven to be important for sexual health um so they can be quite useful in that way and also they're a source of protein and you need a good source of protein in order to have the sustained energy for an all

night you can say it's lamb sash, we know Belinda loves her protein. She gets it from some unorthodox sources. She does. You know, like high protein peanuts and things like that. And semen. And semen, yes. What about like herbs and spices? Oh, yes.

Chili pepper is probably my favorite to talk about. It raises your body temperature. If you eat enough of it, you can get a rush of adrenaline. And it also it can make your cheeks flush, which is said to resemble a sexual flush. So it just sort of watching someone eat chilies can kind of get you sort of subliminally in the mood. Ironically, though, if you're cooking with chili, you have to be really careful not to engage in sexual practice too quickly afterwards because that right yeah you know what I'm saying oh yes so it's definitely just eaten rather than applied anywhere oh yes most definitely thank you for pointing that out I'm not good with spice though like when I go to Nando's I just have lemon and herb I'm like I'm really bad with spice I just have to have the

plainest thing on the menu um so that's really, it's one of my favorites. And then any of the warming spices, as they call them, which are like the baking spices. A lot of those, do you know those lip plumping lipsticks and lip glosses and so forth? Often they have ginger in them to sort of irritate your lips and make them plump up to supposedly make a woman look more sexy. So, you know, it woman look more sexy. So, you know, it plays a nice role. Also ginger aids in digestion. So you kind of, it's kind of great to have in a meal of seduction because it's kind of helping the meal, you know, helping with digestion. So you don't feel sort of tired and sluggish or bloated or any of those things

afterwards. And you can move on to the bedroom and tear off your clothes and get it on. What's worrying me is my grandma's favorite biscuit was a ginger nut biscuit. Well we know things about your grandma she was such a goer jane do you know it so basically what we've learned is rocky's got it wrong at pretty much every turn i'm not sure why we're surprised by that i think the blue cheese fish mousse is probably the closest thing there's just nothing right yeah except that you know maybe pomegranates could have something to do with sex absolutely love that pomegranates could have something to do with sex? Absolutely. Love that. Pomegranates are like sort of an international symbol of love and sex. Um, it's one of the few aphrodisiacs that is found both and Eastern and Western history. So for sure,

pomegranate is, um, very high on my list. And,. And there's actually some proof that it's an aphrodisiac. There have been two recent studies on pomegranate juice helping to treat erectile dysfunction. And in both studies, they found quite conclusively that it really does help. That being said, both studies were paid for by pomegranate juice companies. So for by pomegranate juice company so yeah pomegranate is kind of fantastic we have heard that they've been referred to as

the love apple is that accurate that is true and there are some historians who believe that the pomegranate was actually the original forbidden fruit what in the with adam and eve no oh yes yes Well, I can tell you that the pomegranate is certainly a forbidden fruit in my mum's house now, since these books have been written. So I don't want to put words in your mouth, Amy, but would you say that Rocky has taken quite a genius turn there by making pomegranates a big theme? Oh, that's good. It's a good one.

Yes. I like that. Yes, Dad. Yes, Dad. He's done it. Okay. Well done, Rocky. Come on.

Let's give him some credit, guys. So, Amy, what would you like to see come up in the book? If he really wants to up the sexual ante, what foods could he now pepper through the novels? Well, I'd definitely like to see some oysters in there, for sure. Yes. What is it about an oyster that makes it so good as an aphrodisiac? Oysters are, I mean, it's almost a cliche.

They're probably right up there with chocolate as the most best-known aphrodisiac ingredient. They are one that have sort of a suggestive appearance, so some people kind of immediately jump to that. What do you mean by that? Some people say they look a bit like female genitalia. Like healthy female genitalia? Okay, well, the color's a little off. But healthy female genitalia? Okay.

Well, the color's a little off. But yes, in terms of, yes. If someone's just sneezed on a vagina, I can see. Oh God. Oh no. Bon appetit everyone. Well, like I said, I do not really like to categorize aphrodisiacs by, you know, simply a suggestive appearance.

So there you go. But it turns out that nutritionally oysters, uh oysters give the body a lot of what it needs for sexual health, which is the, you know, sort of unromantic answer, but they're loaded with the zinc. Zinc is important for blood flow. Zinc. Now the Duchess in the book actually keeps her dildos in a zinc lined leather case. Of course. So that's just keeping them really fresh for sexual play. Extremely, yes. With zinc, it helps with good blood flow and you just pretty much can't do anything.

Your heart can't function and nothing else can either without zinc. So really the Duchess is getting a bit of a health check-up through her zinc-lined leather dildos. Well, Amy, this has been an education. I'm not coming for dinner at yours, but thanks for the invite. We've learned so much, and I hope that my dad has too. Imagine being Jamie. Imagine having to read your father's pornography.

I mean, I worry about what my kids are going to think when they're old enough to read my books, but wow. Just wow. Yeah, to be fair, actually actually do you want to take down Jamie's details for when your kids are older because they're going to have a lot in common yes I think maybe we'll need to do that you could definitely at least save money on you know joint counseling Amy it's been a pleasure thank you so much thank you for having me