My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Calling Belinkers 2

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

Back due to popular demand (mainly from Jamie, Alice and James), the gang call listeners around the world to chat about their theories, funny stories and favourite Belinda moments. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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extras taxes and delivery additional Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porno. It's footnotes time, guys. Yes. Yes. It's an exciting one today. I love this. Yeah, you might remember last season we did a Call the Belinkas episode. Yeah, you won't believe this.

We're doing it again. We absolutely are. We are recycling an idea. We're recycling a joke. Not like us. But basically... Not like you, Madonna. Not like me i know

seriously so basically you can come on and talk about whatever you want loads of you have sent us your telephone numbers so it's a bit of a you know from a chat roulette who yeah you know like you'd log on and some people were wanking some people just wanted to chat it's gonna be like that would you think some people are gonna be wanking on the phone i would not doubt it oh god let's not do video calls um so j, you have the list of names and numbers. I have. Should we dive in? Let's go.

Good luck, guys. What do you think we're going to get? Perverts aplenty. Perverts and panties. Perverts aplenty. Or did I say and panties? No, I said aplenty. That seems to trigger word.

Oh, my God. See you on the other side. Here we go. I'm dialing the first number. Hello? Hello, is that Paris? Yeah, speaking. Paris, it's James, Alice and Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno.

Hi! Shut up! We won't! You shut up, Paris! It's true! No way! How are you? I'm so good, how are you?

Yeah, really good. Where are you? I'm so good. How are you? Yeah, really good. Where are you right now, Paris? I am laying on my bed with a fan fanning me. Oh, I can hear it whirring in the background. It's so hot. So, Paris, what did you want to talk to us about today? Well, I'd like to talk about Belinda Blink's The Board Game. Oh.

I'm thinking in collaboration with other board games already on the market okay so use their infrastructure and we can just put our branding on it i like it good exactly that exactly that so numero uno por favori is cludo oh premise of cludo but who stole the blueprints oh that's good you've got all the little figurines where they're at what they're doing and then you can figure out who did it i love that so you've got the background goon somewhere you've got giselle somewhere professor slint somewhere else the factory in scotland exactly that you brought it to life better than me paris i love that your catchphrase is exactly that i'm gonna'm going to steal that. Exactly that.

Well, I think we're all on the same page here, so this is fantastic. And there's murders in Cluedo, right? Is that it? That you're solving a murder? Is that correct? Yes. I won't lie to you, Jamie.

I've never played it. Well, you are the perfect woman to adapt it. I know the premise, and I think that's all we need to know. It's a very rocky approach to the premise and i think that's all we need to know it's a very rocky approach to the business world exactly that exactly that exactly that go on then what else have you got so sorry if you can hear some purring it's my uh my ginger pussy in the background so number two monopoly classic yeah and it's just all the greatest locations throughout the novel she's

been to so many places we can go to the moulin marron if we want to yes the lazy pea ranch the maze like maybe he's pumping station the pumping yes quickenwood's pumping station exactly oh that could be one of the water utility so good absolutely we've got the clink for jail when you go to jail oh Oh, my God. The town hall clock. That could be like free parking. Yes. Well, what could the figurines be?

Pomegranate? Yes. A pan, obviously, like a saucepan. I think there is a pan in the real one, is there? Oh. Obviously, a little horse for Toffee Appletoo. Yes. Maybe a monster prick. A monster prick.

A very large piece. Oh, cool. Paris is like, yeah, whatever whatever let's do it exactly that I think anything's possible if you just believe um and by that you mean I feel like I can steal ready-made board games and just stick Belinda Blinked all over it exactly that any more for any more my final one is just the trivialvial Pursuit. Classic. Just quiz questions. Yeah, the ultimate Belinda quiz. Have you prepared a question we could try and answer now for the game?

Oh, good God. I'll take that as a no. She's been too busy fanning herself in that bed. Let's keep it simple. What was the salary that Belinda was offered when she first applied for a job at Steeles? Oh, Christ. You know what? My Spotify, you know when it does the hourly thing

at the end of the year? I think I listened to about 800 hours of Belinda Blink and I couldn't answer that question. Well, even I know that. It's 80,000 a year plus travel perks. Plus travel perks. Well, maybe I can make up some prototypes because I am going to Belinda's 30th next year in London.

So maybe we could just bring it all there. We can play them in the interval. Yes. I think it will be really fun for people who've come to see a live show to watch the four of us play a really long game of Monopoly. Paris, thank you so much. It's been so lovely to talk to you. Thank you.

I'll see you later. I'll see you later. Exactly that. Bye-bye. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with Paris she was great when can we next hang out with her

her and that ginger pussy my god a little bit sounds like what Bella might sound like yes oh she had all the energy that I needed today

should we do another yeah email hola is that Josh see hi, it's James, Alison, Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno. Oh my God, I can't believe you're calling. Holy shit. Am I allowed to say that? You are allowed to say that. Oh my God, okay. Now, you don't sound like a native Spaniard. You are in Spain, but where are you from originally? I'm fromveland ohio the united states of america he said ever so proudly ever so proudly that was a proper miss world introduction um so what did you want to talk about josh today so i'm wondering

about the belinda blink cinematic universe yes okay i think there's so much potential like i want to know about um alfie i want to know about the smallish man there are just so many little side characters that i think have a lot of room to be developed into full-blown characters so you think we could do like um you know like marvel are doing loki and wandavision and things like that we could do spin-off tv series movies with these characters oh absolutely i think you could even go into musical albums pieces of artwork I don't know you could do it all so if we were going to go you know once once the Belinda Blinked books are finished who was the first person you would choose to do a spin-off to ensure it would be successful truly I think that the person who we have the most success for

is a prequel with the duchess and how she of course how is she like ahead of mi6 or whatever she is but then she wound up at the horse and chucky inn it was just i had a lot of questions i think the duchess could become like a mini series like the queen's gambit it's giving me the tutors it's giving me two seasons the crown obviously it's the crown oh my god the crown who the duchess imagine how beautiful it would look crossover though you could like you know the way that the world sometimes cross over yes oh my god we should find a random person that's been an extra in the crown yeah and cast them as the duchess in ours so it really does feel like it's a crossover jamie that's a trilogy that's been an extra in the crown yeah and cast them as the duchess in hours so it really does feel like it's a crossover jamie that's a trilogy that's a trilogy and of course toffee

apple chew's gotta have her moment in the sun oh my god can i just say your guys's trailer for trailer five of you walking to the tombstone with toffee apple chew sent me to mars i thought that was the funniest thing. We have to just do that for the merch alone. Taffy Applechew. Of course. Yeah. She's this generation's Black Beauty.

Holy shit. On that bombshell. Adios. Adios. Adios a vosotros también. Exactly. And same to you. Bye. Adios. Adios a vosotros también. Exactly. And same to you. Bye.

Exactly that. Josh has some great ideas. Who's the head of Marvel? We should get in contact. Kevin Feige, I think. Yeah, okay. I'm sure you can just Google him and find his number on the internet. Kevin Feige at MCU.com.

That'll do. Okay, next one. Yeah. I don't know how they're going to top Big Josh Energy. Hello? Hello, is that Ella? Yes, it is. Hi.

Hi, it's Jamie, James and Alice here from My Dad Wrote a Porno. Hi, Ella. Hi. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Well, this has made my life. It's lovely to talk to you. so how can we help you today ella so i first of all would like to be a bit cocky and say that i got a distinction on my master's

dissertation come on and i'd like to follow that up with the dissertation was on the topic my dad wrote a porno shut up what excuse me well um the world of my dad wrote a porno is so amazing and vast that um i struggled to sort of whittle down what i wanted to focus on but it ended up being a dissertation and you know a more academic point of view on how comedy is actually a great way to destigmatise sexuality. The overarching conclusion was that my dad wrote a porno does make the world a better place. You're welcome, society.

You've made us sound far smarter than we are, and we appreciate that. So how many words are we talking for a master's dissertation? 15,000. Oh, my God. That's more words than my dad's ever written in his life the world of academia is very keen on rocky flinster he's a fellow scholar really well one of the main points is how rocky's sort of cult of personality is a huge part of my dad wrote a porno success i'm sure rocky would love to read all about how people are fascinated with

him and you know how it's not about you guys so it's about him Ella if it's about my dad he'll love to read it I love that you've basically just described him as a cult leader which I think is probably on his list of ambitions Ella thank you so much it was so lovely to talk to you thank you for changing the world for the better w Wowzers. Wowzers, trousers. And you know I don't say that lightly. I have an idea. You know Kian that did the timeline?

Yes. You know Kian from BelindaBlink.business? Of course, we love Kian. I think we should set him and Ella up on a kind of scholastic date. They'd get on so well. They'd have so much to talk about. We could do like a kind of Belinda Blink trivia off against each other. Can you imagine?

A university challenge. Ella versus Kian. Like a mastermind. Yeah. Who's going to be the biggest Belinda? Like a university challenge. Ella versus Kian. Like a mastermind. Yeah. Who's going to be the biggest Blender Blink expert? My money's on Kian. I've got good feelings about Ella. And that's called balance.

I'll be Switzerland and love them both. I adore doing this. Let's do another one. Shall we? Yeah. Hello? Hi, it's Jamie, James and Alice from My Dad Wrote a Porno. Is that Mike?

Whoa, yes. Hi! Hi! I never thought you would call me. I'm a bit shocked. So tell us, whereabouts in the world are you, Mike? I'm in Moscow right now. Moscow, nice.

So, Russian. Russian, our first Russian on the show. Yeah. Mike, what do you think of the representation of Russia and Russians in Rocky's work? Nasty. Nasty! I mean, not all people here are like Grigor. Yeah, Grigor Kalansky, of course.

Quite greasy-lipped, was he? Yeah. I hope there will be someone more, I don't know, nicer. Do you have a soft spot for Countess Zara, a fellow Russian, of course? Well, she's weird. I wouldn't say a soft spot, but I mean, it's nice that there's at least a representation of Leningrad, which is actually now St. Petersburg.

Yeah, exactly. It doesn't even exist anymore, does it? Leningrad. Yeah. Now, Mike, I dread to ask, were my Russian accents any good at all? Yeah, actually, you just nailed it. Oh, there you go.

Mike, don't be ridiculous. I know you're not being told this a lot, but in Russian, you just nailed it. Oh, thanks, mate. Yes. These two don't believe it. So you guys should start bullying him about his least Russian accent. Okay, well, it was nice to talk to you, Mike. All the best. I hope Moscow's okay. We'll see you soon.

I'm really excited that you called. I mean, it will be my early birthday present. Ah, when's your birthday? Tomorrow. Me too. Really? June the 16th. Well then, congrats to us.

Oh. You guys. Happy birthday, Mike. How old are you going to be? 20. Oh, I'm 34. Go away. Oh my God, I've got a birthday buddy, guys.

So adorable. He's 15 years your junior. He's 15 years your junior. He's 14 years my junior. But I get your point. He's a different generation, Jamie. We're on a roll, guys. Let's keep going. Hello?

Aloha. Is that Aloha? Yeah. Hi, it's Jamie, James and Alice from My Dad Wrote a Porno here. Hi. Hi. Oh my god. Okay. Hi. Hi. Oh, my God. Okay.

Hi. Hi. Okay, tell me more. Now, your name is Aloha. Yes, not like Aloha. I know. I'm sorry. I got that wrong again.

Are we catching you at a bad time? You sound like you're being kidnapped or in some sort of meeting. No, I'm actually at work, but I'm not doing anything right now. That's what I like to hear. What do you do for work? I'm actually a therapist, but I'm not doing anything right now. That's what I like to hear. What do you do for work? I'm actually a therapist. Oh, cool. You have a huge following in my place of work, including my boss.

Really? We are the therapist's go-to podcast. Yes. We hear a lot of awful stuff during the day, so you guys are super refreshing. In your professional opinion, is Rocky okay? No, absolutely not. Honestly, yeah, he's not okay. I mean, I'm concerned about him. We keep suggesting that Jamie should go to therapy. What do you think? I think all of you need some like trauma therapy. I'm not sure how you guys function, but especially

Jamie. I mean, I cannot imagine my dad talking about rimming as much as Rocky does. Oh, I love her. I love her. You're at work. Well, I'm in my office with the door closed. You've heard on the show, Jamie basically does regression therapy every week. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be glad to provide, know the services if i'm not available i'm pretty sure another one of my fellow billing careers uh therapists will be glad to provide services as well i mean i think i'm qualified i think i think you sound like you could be incredibly helpful we'll keep your phone number on file if that's all right that'd be perfectly fine you can call anytime i'll be glad to provide

you with my professional opinion oh thank you so much that actually does make you feel a little bit better yeah you'll regret that aloha i promise you i think we all need to go in group therapy now guys i'm claiming those free sessions you better mean it okay let's keep going hello hello is that Miles? Yes. Hi, Miles. It's Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno. I've got Alice and James here. Hi.

Hi, Miles. Oh, my God. What? I'm sorry. Hold on. Let me just freak out for like five seconds. Okay. Five seconds.

Five, four, three, two, one. Miles, you're back in the room. How's it going? I'm doing better now. How are you guys doing? We're good. We're good, mate. Whereabouts are you in the world?

So I live in a little town called Three Rivers, Canada in Quebec. Oh, nice. Quebecois. Obviously had to flee the crazy conservative South and just, you know, wanted to be different. So we're in Quebec. Good for you. So are you from the deep South in the States originally? Right.

I'm from a little town like outside of Nashville, Tennessee. So what do you want to talk about well i loved in the last episode that y'all nodded towards the biblical allegories in the belinda blink series and i thought that was super fun so i'm like let's let's rattle off some bible verses let's rattle off the biblical allegories let's walk you through it is that something you know about miles are you are you bible oh fay oh alice yes i do so did you want to expand on our kind of biblical theory? You obviously know the Bible a lot better than we do. Is there any more parallels you can draw? So I'm trying to think of like Last Supper, Betrayal, Judas Iscariot kind of deal. Dare I say the trellis is very reminiscent of the crucifix. Oh my God. I'm not saying the allegory necessarily follows through

because I think that would mean that Belinda was the kind of born again Messiah. Yeah. I mean, she's kind of got a Messiah complex. Well, she came back to life, kind of. That's true. She rose again. Oh my God, Niall.

She actually did rise again. Wait a second. Didn't Bella come back to life in like beep, beep, beep? Oh my God, yes she did. And then she came back? So many people in these books have died and risen again. Are we about to have a trilogy with James Spooner? Holy Trinity, you mean.

The Holy Trinity of people coming back to life. Oh my goodness. Oh my God, the Belinda, the Bella and the Spooner. I really think we're onto something. And what do you think people back home would think of Belinda Blinked's writing oh see every time i want to share it on instagram i would be like y'all have to listen to this episode but i'm like all of the boomers that follow me on instagram their wig is going to fly off i still am like got all the like older crowd from the local methodist church following me on Instagram.

So you've got to be careful. You've got to post with caution. Yeah. You've also got to preach the good word of Flintstone, though. Well, now that we've established it's a full-fledged biblical allegory, I really think it's my responsibility to be posting that. Absolutely. Exactly.

Yeah, it's your duty. Miles, it's been a pleasure to chat to you. You make those wigs fly now, won't you? Across the room. Oh, man. Hey, it was so fun to talk to you all You make those wigs fly now, won't you? Across the room. Oh, man. Hey, it was so fun to talk to y'all. I love what you do. So funny.

Cannot wait to see you when you come to Canada. Absolutely. Can't wait to come back. Oh, y'all have a great day. Y'all have a great day too, Miles. Bye. Belinda be with you. Hey, Belinda be with you.

I don't know about their wigs, but I've lost my wig. Miles was great. Endless love for Miles. Her love for y'all. Y'all. We just can't pull it off, can, but I've lost my wig. Miles was great. Endless love for Miles. I love for y'all. Y'all. We just can't pull it off, can we? Y'all. No.

Well, you said it, but I'm not sure you could pull it off just, you know, in your every day. Should we dial again? Y'all, should we dial again? Yeah, let's dial again. Yeah, just dial again. Hello? Hi, it's Alice, James and Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno. Oh my God, hi. Hi.

Where are we talking to you from right now? I'm in Denmark. Lovely. Hello. We love a bit of Denmark. Now, Jennifer, how can we help? What's going on? Yes, well, I am due to have a baby in July, which is very... Congratulations. A baby girl. And yeah, I'm allowed to bring something to the labour to relax myself and distract myself. And obviously I wanted to bring My Dad Wrote a Porno because it's mindless. Thank you very much. In the best possible way.

Some people play Beethoven to the bump. Jennifer plays the mad world of Rocky. So do you have an episode in mind or a season like what are you thinking well actually my surname is montague so i feel like to continue to stay on brand i need chiara to feature of course so maybe dearly beloved when she gets locked in the flat yes or when do they have that they have a big dinner together don't they yeah the first time dinner at the duke's table i believe that's called james that's in series three table yes yes and obviously like you should listen to the cervix grabbing episode because you'll be experiencing that yourself and you'll be able to really relate brilliant oh this is so helpful you guys thank you i'm sure you're writing it all

down as we speak this is all going in the birthing plan that's going to the midwives i'm sure now jennifer the obvious question now is names for your little girl we haven't really decided yet so i can imagine you have plenty of suggestions well hang on it has to be chiara if you're montague it has to be chiara you've got to have a real chiara montague in the world the only thing i'm worried about is i don't want her to be called chiara and i know that you've got a lot of angry tweets about chiara versus chiara. Who's a really empowering woman? Like, who's really got her shit together?

Hazel. Yes, no, Pilot's pretty accomplished with her giant watch, right? Exactly. She's never late for anything. Always on time. I'd love to learn more about Dr. Stud. Oh, yeah, Dr. Stud. Did you forget her first name, Dr. Stud?

No, I think it was just Dr. Stud. Can you get a first name dr stud no i think it was just dr stud can you call a baby dr stud dr stud montague i think it works what's the baby's name dr stud congratulations yeah well actually you know alice i hear you you're the only one in the in the group who isn't a god parent so you know maybe maybe there's uh oh my god jennifer you've given me both your names i can find you don't say if you don't mean it so hang on if she becomes a doctor is she dr dr stud she's dr dr dr stud right okay montague adorable i love the danes i am worried about her baby though coming into the world in that way why is that why do you think i'm fully joking it sounds horrendous but so many people do it it's like an official thing people honestly i have friends who had a baby recently and on the official documentation from their hospital it

said use my dad wrote a porno to distract you from the pain what yeah an official an official document the world has gone quite mad what a year it's been right I think we need to do another call yeah hi is that Cece yes hi it's Jamie James and Alice from my dad wrote a porno oh very exciting uh Cece how can we help you today it's so funny because I found the podcast like I said in my dm I'm asexual which is like a total for me at least a sex repulsion so how the hell do i find a podcast about quote-unquote sex but my friend introduced it to me when i was having a really rough time and i have been in love with it ever since i mean you guys like last night i was listening to the new episode i was literally laughing out loud in the kitchen and my whole family was staring at me like I'm insane so you

define your asexuality as a sex repulsion so yeah how do you deal with that chapter to chapter because it's hard enough at the best of times I think I at least know that I'm like this isn't real this isn't what people actually do I sure to god hope but um it's heretically disgusting and I think it kind of affirms that it's definitely not where I want to go. But then again, not me.

Belinda's doing anything real. Where are you right now, by the way, Cece? I am in my car outside of my preschool because I don't think they need to hear

that I'm talking about a sex podcast. Outside your pre... You're a preschool teacher? Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Keep your voice down.

Exactly. I hope the car is parked, like, a mile from the school. Yes, I'm very, very far away, because these kids, they don't need early trauma. No, seriously. I feel as though we're constantly thinking that we need to enlighten Rocky, and then he surprises us with some forward thinking

for a man of his age, or just including something that we've genuinely never heard of and he may well have made up or might actually be a sex act so who knows but I wonder if asexuality is like something that he might explore sensitively we just don't know he's such a loose cannon I would love it because isn't there a bit really early in the books where he said I think it might be even chapter one when he says about Bill from HR, Bill won't have sex with you and never will. Do you remember he said that? That's true. Oh, yes.

Maybe Bill is asexual. Ooh, we got the ace rep. There you go. I'm so sorry that your character that represents is Bill from HR. I mean, yeah, I couldn't have really gotten a worse one, but I'll take him. So Bill from HR could well be an asexual character. I've never thought of it, yes.

Cool. God. So progressive, Dad. Look at you. He's representing everyone and I love it. Shall we dial again? Dial again.

Dial again. Dial again. Hello? Hi, is that Benjamin? Yes, hello. Hi, did you recently call an insurance company about a quote? No, I didn't. Oh, this is Alice, James and Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno so that doesn't really matter. Hi, did you recently call an insurance company about a quote? No, I didn't.

Oh, this is Alice, James and Jamie from My Dad Wrote a Porno, so that doesn't really matter. Oh, good to see me. Gotcha. Oh, I would have thought that I would have recognized you. Now, Benjamin, I believe you have a story for us. I do, yeah. Let's see, I think I was 17, I think,

because I was being taught by my philosophy teacher who his girlfriend's dad, I played his living lover in a play that went to the Cheshire One-Eck Festival. No! So, Cheshire One-Eck Festival, which is obviously one of the many, many performances Jamie did when he was a child. You played what, Mr Toad? I played many roles, James. We have treaded the boards together, Benjamin, you and I.

This is fantastic. I was Toad of Toad Hall. I was the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. I did many roles, James. We have treaded the boards together, Benjamin, you and I. This is fantastic. I was Toad of Toad Hall. I was the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. I did many things. I think I know someone who did the costuming for the Mad Hatter production. Really? Alice in Wonderland, of course.

So you know someone that dressed Jamie, possibly, for one of the productions? And Lord knows what his demands were about the costume. Oh, God, yeah. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you, I never knew Vicky Lane. May she rest in peace, potentially. Oh.

Or more. Who was that man with the... Mike. Mike with the cane. Mike with the cane, Vicky Lane, Val Harris. These are all my contemporaries. Were they all involved with the Cheshire One Act Festival? Well, we all went to...

So basically, Alice, how it works is... Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, what have you started, Benjamin? Ben, hang up you'll be here all night basically what happens is

all the regional we don't like to say regional but the regional theatres would put on we don't like to say regional like we've got together with all the regional theatres to ask

would put on their performances and then we if you were selected you would go to the Cheshire One Act Festival and that's like a big deal obviously can I just go back

you said you knew the costume designer who might know Jamie? Do we, just a first name? They didn't work within the theatre itself. They worked in a local theatre to me, rather than that one specifically. But they did go and help out and stuff. I can't remember their names now.

So they may have stitched one of Jamie's gussets. Oh, certainly, yeah. Well, it's interesting because our resident wardrobe mistress at the Club Theatre was a woman called Enid and she was actually too old to travel. That's not a thing! We couldn't take her with us on the minibus to the Cheshire Warnock Festival

so we had to be dressed by the people at the Warnock Festival. So it's probably true that I did get in my costume by your friend. Poor Enid. I know, Enid, she was so ratty, honestly. She would snap at you. Oh my God. Well, I'm not surprised that she's 100%. Oh, Enid is another wonderful name. I'm just imagining her backstage doing the

boning on a corset for you for when you're toe-to-toe tall. Her wardrobe department was in the bowels of the theatre. You had to go down loads of stairs. It was like in the third basement. I have to say, if you're too old to for when you're toe-to-toe tall. Her wardrobe department was in the bowels of the theatre. You had to go down loads of stairs. It was like in the third basement. I have to say, if you're too old to travel,

you're probably too old to be a costume designer. For God's sake, working on an industrial sewing machine, the poor woman. Too old to travel. Not a thing.

It's just not a phrase. Too ill to travel. It's why I got involved. They needed someone who was young and spry to jump up and down all the ladders thank god you were there Ben

oh my god well this has been some extra insight which we you know always welcome so thank you Benjamin you've opened a Pandora's box

oh absolutely no problem you can imagine a team of seamstresses from the local village making Jamie some ostentatious cape that he's insisted upon pulling him in at the waist honestly winching him some lovely corsetry at the back what are you talking about also you can imagine everybody else being like yeah more than

happy wearing you know my black shorts my black t-shirt that I've brought from home and Jamie bringing swatches of fabric that he's approved no nothing was made specially that was the whole point of Enid you just find you something from. That was the whole point of Enid. She just finds you something from the bowels of the theatre. Obsessed with Enid. Don't even know how she got to the theatre if she was too old to travel. She lived in the theatre.

She lived in it. She was down so many stairs. She was born in the bowels. She died in the bowels. Too old to travel. That is great. Right, who's next? Come on, you two.

Hello? Hi, you two. Hello? Hi, is that Daniela? Speaking. Hi, Daniela. It's James, Jamie and Alice from My Dad Wrote a Porno. Oh, hi. Oh, hi there. Hi.

Hello. How are you guys? Good. It sounds like you've got your business voice on today. Yeah. I'm actually just in a work meeting but um i'm like a lower level employee so i don't need to be yeah sneak out the meeting it's fine it doesn't matter what do you do out of interest i'm a large animal veterinarian but i also work as an epidemiologist which i think

people are a little bit more familiar with these days with COVID and everything. Please go back to your meeting immediately. The world needs you in that meeting, Daniela. Neglecting important disease stuff. No, no, I'm not. I promise. So you've nipped out. How can we help you today? So as I mentioned, I am a large animal veterinarian and I got introduced to your podcast actually through another vet. But there was one particular instance when Jim Sterling got a penis transplant, if you remember.

And in the area that I work in, there's quite a few Mennonite farms. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that. Amish? Is that Amish? Yeah, they're very similar to amish um people so we have some amish and some mennonite but they're all very old school um they don't use electricity they like plow their fields with horse and carriage and they're all very traditional they wear the traditional clothing but uh anyways i was

listening to that episode and somehow when i arrived on the farm, I couldn't get my Bluetooth to turn off. And the farmer came running up to my truck and you guys were all chanting, he's got a monster truck. And I could not turn it off. And the farmer was just staring at me with shock in his eyes. And I was like, oh, oh, it's the radio. It's the billboard number one. Yeah, it was just so embarrassing. I am so sorry.

Am I right in thinking we've reached every community on earth now? Even those that don't want us. I would do these every week. They're so fun. They're way more fun than just the three of us. I normally hate talking on the phone, but this I will make an exception for. It helps that they're all great, great people. Like, what great characters.

Does it also help that we've been starved of human contact for over a year? That's probably more accurate, yeah. Well, this wasn't the first, and I don't think it will be the last. Absolutely not. Keep your phones on at all times, even through the night.