My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Reddit

Episode Date: August 11, 2016

The gang find an old Reddit thread that Rocky might have used for tips and inspiration for his own writing... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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your new policy online in a matter of minutes. Zensurance. Mind your business. Hello and welcome to the footnotes of my dad wrote a porno. James, Alice, hey. Hello. Sup. Gross. So I hope I'm not taking liberties here, but i thought i would bring something to the table today i know it's been wow that's the first time ever i know i just thought i'd break with tradition alice bringing content i know content okay now it's too close to the boat um yeah i didn't want

to overstep the mark but there was something that really caught my eye and i can't help but think that it's rocky oh so i So I saw this Reddit conversation about... When have you been on Reddit? Nothing ever ends well when it starts with, I saw this Reddit conversation. It's such a rabbit hole. So this was about 17 hours ago and I'm still on the same thread.

But the person who started the conversation, I don't know, it just reeks of rocky. So here's the inquiry. What tips do people have for writing decent erotica? Oh, God. Hang on. I kind of see where you're coming from, but I don't feel like Rocky's ever looked to someone else for tips. No, he does.

Steph King. Oh, Steph King. Stephen King, of course. So obviously, if he wants to go there, he'll go elsewhere. He may have written this a long time ago. this says it's over 900 days ago that this question was posted so when the idea was just a seed and rocky's definitely him then so do you want to know what some people are advising yeah and then we can see if that advice has found its way into belinda blinked yeah absolutely okay, absolutely. Okay. So this user says,

women want to read about ding-dongs. Deli Alice, is that true? I mean, right so far. But then they get quite angry. Do you think women care about the details of female anatomy? Hell no. Well, he certainly took that one to heart. Women want to read about big, powerful schlongs.

Look, I've seen women read these things. They skim along and skim along until they get to the part about the penis. Well, he's ignored this because most of the men's penises in Belinda Blinked are teeny tiny. Oh, yeah, you're right. No, only one. Well, he's got a massive schlong. I think everybody else has a pretty reasonable-sized penis. Reasonable?

Oh, sexy. They've got adequate penises. Stop it! All right, demanding. James, you're such a size queen. Well, it's... It's interesting you're talking about size because another person makes a point about this.

Oh, okay. Don't ever overdo it on the imagery. Okay. Feels like Rocky looked at this list and did exactly the opposite so far yeah he did go on about those coat hooks a lot in the first book but not overly he doesn't overly dwell on anything the desk got a whole chapter true so don't overdo it on the imagery heavy imagery and hyperbole such as his massive dick was like a donkey and as thick as a soup can her juices maybe that's where he got the

donkey so he did get it her juices were flowing like a river he could oh my god he covered him in his heavy creamy man milk like all of this is apparently too much imagery he covered him it's two boys wow we haven't had that yet still to come so try and create a balance with everything in your scene it keeps you away from the ridiculous flesh things out a little before you start make some notes of all the details and use them selectively no no sir okay useful very useful thank you to that person um this is an interesting one actually and i wonder if this is true of your dad maybe you can tell us jamie this is someone's number one suggestion so they're saying whatever happens

when a writing rotiger you must do this okay my number one suggestion write yourself into a tizzy oh into write yourself into the text that's what i worried it was going to say can you imagine that this might be worse if you're not getting wet or hard in the process maybe even having to take breaks for self-servicing self-servicing like the self-service checkout what like a cost you a Tesco? You're not writing something erotic. This really goes for any type of writing. Excite yourself. Entertain yourself. Make yourself laugh.

Make yourself cry. Cry? He's made us all cry. The Duchess was crying. So, Rocky's rock hard when he's writing porn. Oh, my days. I'm at rock bottom. That's the difference of a word. I don't know where to look. Okay, I'm i'm moving on i'm moving on james what are you thinking about now jamie i'm not thinking of that do you have to try quite hard

not to be rock solid when you're reading belinda blink why do i always have a pillow on my lap i thought you were tired so so gross okay um i hope rocky has read this one because i feel like he's definitely integrated elements of this oh so this writer advises that before you start writing your book you ask yourself a series of questions why are these people having sex is it an expression of love well no in belinda blinked he's answer you know they're doing it for business yeah he's very clear about that that option's not here it's either for love for lust or the desire to procreate wow okay so it's not the desire to procreate i think belinda is very much on the pill I don't think it's for love. Well, sometimes with Peter, you wonder.

Yeah. Except he has a wife. He does have a wife. Although love can take very different forms, Jamie. Yeah, ever heard of polyamory, grandad? This is the 21st century. Well, actually, it does go on. What are the circumstances surrounding their copulation?

Are they doing something forbidden or shameful? Yes. always well my dad certainly is are they at risk of discovery always oh they do it very much in public yeah there's a lot of has belinda ever had sex in a private place i'm not sure she has you know she went to the hotel room. The office is not a private place. And that lift was definitely exposed. Absolutely. Shall we move on? Let's. As quick as possible, please.

Now, this is very intriguing. This person's remained surprisingly anonymous. For me, it's also about the relationship between the people. Oh, okay. That's what makes the physical stuff more erotic. Some random guy and a girl having sex, that's fine. But make it a professor and her student, and the relationship has an added power dynamic

that intensifies the physical stuff. Yeah, and an illegal one. Yeah. All right, grandad, who's the grandad now? That's interesting that that anonymous person has said that because dad does do that. There's a lot of... Definitely that because dad does do that there's a lot of definitely what's happening yeah there's a lot of power games and power shifts constantly throughout bling bling they're very rarely just chance encounters with no connection like even

the night receptionist aka the youngish man aka sam like they had something when they first met there was like some kind of spark and there are always stakes there's never stakes there are where she's signing multi-million pound deals with these people not with the youngish man not with the youngish man per se but with peter with i thought the oxybrillic was worth about five quid it was a pup don't you remember yeah dr robbins what was going on there he had the contract in oh yeah he had the contract in. Oh, yeah, he had the contract in, you're right. She had to sign them. But also, you know, now we're in book two,

we're realising that the characters in book one are back. She's forged longer-term relationships. Exactly. And it's going to... It means the sex in book two is going to be even more... What was that? Powerful and meaningful. What did they say?

Well, dynamic. Dynamic. And that's a word that Rocky has used, so... OK, one last bit of advice for Rocky if he's hearing this for the first time but I actually think

that this is a thread that he's begun so he'll have seen all this and this one rings so so true this is from Frolic Me read lots of porn and let your imagination

play on your fantasies too I like fantasies to feel real in the concept that I can get my mind into that scene individual and feel that it's happening to me so do you think rocky's doing that he's kind of putting himself in those positions and thinking like how would i feel if that was happening to me who do you think your dad relates most to in the book relates theates the most to. I bet he thinks he's Peter Rowles. I think Dr. Robbins. Shut up.

Come to think of it, I have seen him swaying side to side and humming his own little dissy. All of that is surprisingly helpful from Reddit users, I have to say. I know, right? I think he's actually started a very, very interesting discussion. It's a shame he didn't take note of any of it. Well, didn't he? As a parting note to you both, this person writes, it's like writing a thriller. It's all in the anticipation. I mean, yes, but Rocky never actually gets to the event.

Ever. It's just constant anticlimactic anticipation. Well, then maybe Rocky read it and thought, I have to constantly have anticipation. I can never get anywhere. That's true. Because there is one chapter where she literally gets in and out of a car and walks into a meeting room.

And you're like, oh my God, when is it going to happen? When is it going to happen? It just never happens. And it's the end of the chapter. You're like, oh my God, the anticipation. You can never put the book down because you don't know what's going to happen next. It's a skill. Well, I feel like he's taken some of that advice, but ignored ignored most of it i think he's interpreted the advice in his own way as any good

writer should it's to say those people are right rocky's right the person that talked about the ding-dongs definitely wasn't right well if we have any aspiring erotic writers listening send in your tips for rocky oh yeah he's very open to new talent and their advice isn't he absolutely yeah email us at my dad wrote a porno at gmail.com send him some suggestions and see if he'll worm them into belinda blinked three god forbid no we can't let that happen Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over.

Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again.

Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Peace.