My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Samara Weaving

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Award-winning actress Samara Weaving (star of 'Ready Or Not', 'Hollywood' and the upcoming 'Nine Perfect Strangers') joins Jamie, Alice and James to talk all things Belinda Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porno, The Footnotes. Now, we're four episodes into book six and we're still in Australia. So we thought it was about time to get an expert on the pod. So our first guest of the season is the award-winning Aussie actress and one of the busiest people in Hollywood right now, the star of Ready or Not, Bill and Ted Face the Music, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and the upcoming Snake Eyes, Nine Perfect Strangers in Babylon. It's Samara Weaving, everybody! You guys, when you emailed me, I was like, i don't know if they know what they're getting themselves into this is not like a normal guest this is a full fan what do you count as a full

fan just like i know i'm not like indifferent or like oh i kind of remember like i know details and i thank god he in that man who made the website belinda dot business he's amazing isn't he amazing because i had so many questions and i was like deep in his website so so this is essentially meet and greet what this is we're just like hi Samara nice to meet you do you want a picture do you want an autograph yes please you guys have been with me for what six years now um so Samara as Jamie said we've got you on as our kind of Australia expert so we just wanted to get your take on um Rocky's interpretation of Australia and how much he's got right how much he's probably mostly got wrong would you say it's an accurate representation of your homeland, basically? I mean, I love Rocky and no disrespect, but there's not a lot of like Aussie references.

It's about tourists in Australia. Yeah, that's true actually. So you're saying that the biggest TV show isn't Dancing in the Sky with superstars in Australia. That isn't a thing. I mean, that is number one on the hits, I will say. that the biggest TV show isn't Dancing in the Sky with superstars in Australia. That isn't a thing. I mean, that is number one on the hits, I will say. But then, like, Cosmo Macaroon was pretty spot on.

Like, I feel like there are some, like, morning show hosts that have that kind of, like, oh, here, sell your pots and your pans. I love that he thinks the rocks are actually the rocks, like that there's big rocks and boulders there. Oh, there's not? No, no. It's just a normal place of buildings. I think they called it the rocks because,

and this was super creative of them back in 1780 or whatever. Some of the buildings were made out of sandstone and they were like that's a rock we'll call it the rocks brilliant brilliant i think dad just heard his namesake and thought rocks rocky great i can include them in the books yes have you done much traveling in and around your homeland have you been to the scrub and dust? Yeah. So is that just the desert? You tell us, Sam. You're from there. Scrub and dust. Because I assume that means like a desolate.

Outback town. Outback town with a lone shed with one doctor. And a radio. I imagine it near Uluru. Yeah. Didn't they go by helicopter to Sydney? Or how did they? Because it takes like 10 hours to get from.

No, they got a jumbo. He was flying in a jumbo jet, wasn't he? And then they landed in the CBA on the pavement, I guess. Got it, got it, got it. Okay, so that pans out. That checks out, yeah. In the CBA, James. That's what we call it, central business.

CBD. That can't be arsed. Can't be checks out, yeah. In the CBA, James. CBD? That's what we call it, central business. CBD! That can't be arsed. Can't be arsed! Sorry. I always get the central business district and a lack of interest. In the old CBA. In the old CBA. The Pots and Pan Pacific Conference, does that happen every year in Australia? It does now.

It does now. It's really picking up. Cosmo's been shouting it from his rooftops. And, you know, I know that my accents are one of the worst things about the show. And I have to say, I think the Australian accent's really difficult. And because we've been in bloody Australia for so long, I was trying to make a list of the amount of different characters that I've had to do with an accent.

Cosmo Macaroon, Cornelius Kettle, Dr. Al, Trixie Forward, Jailman, and Quince. That's a lot of people to give different sort of accents to. Well, I don't think, by the way, it's gotten a lot better, Jamie. Like the first one I was like, okay. But recently I was like, oh, hello. Yes, a fellow Austro, like pretty good, very good. Oh, really? I think it's one of the hardest accents to do because there's like one million vowels. Yeah.

Like the word no is like, like what is that? No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No bloody way. It's really odd. My dad has a theory that it's because the British live in, there's not much sun there. And then when we came over to Australia, we were all talking in a very British accent and then the sun made us squint. So we started. That is a theory though. In America, that is a theory though in in america they say that people in like the deep south talk a bit

more slowly and drolly because of the heat that is a theory that people think that so maybe your dad's not wrong so maybe if we do english with a screwed up hot face then it becomes a little bit oh my god it works it really works no it's, there's no way that you can't do it. Yeah, yeah, that really works. Oh my God, you look great, Alice. Thank you so much. You look so hot there. No, it's so, it's so hot.

It's so hot. And actually, there's actually, if I keep my face like this, I can't go, I can't, can't go back to my own accent really. Oh my God, you've changed forever. Can I just say i'm actually glad this is happening because i get so much hate from youtube about you at my accent work and listen to you i think sw likes it that's all i'm saying i think she's impressed pretty good pretty pretty good pretty good tapping my face because i'm trying to hide my real feelings about

this right now um you're good at accents aren't you samara you're uh you're americans very good i work with a dialect coach jamie do you have a dialect coach um i i actually don't so if you could pass on their details that's so good that's even more impressive though what you think he's got a dialect coach in the room when he's reading i don't know it's his job maybe he invested in himself you know some who knows oh sam we don't take it It's his job. Maybe he invested in himself, you know, some stuff. Who knows? Oh, Sam, we don't take it seriously enough. That would be somebody who would definitely have an alias. Oh, who's your dialect coach? Oh, that's Rainbow Johannesburg. I don't know if that's their real name.

Please don't put my name to Jamie's progression through accents. Now, enough about Jamie. Samara, tell us, can I call you Sam? Yes, please call me Sam. Samara's weird. Yeah, so who is your favourite character in the books? From all six books, looking back over the years. The Duchess has such a great story arc. Yeah, I agree with that, actually.

She's grown a lot as a character. Well, yeah, because we meet her in the maze, I think. At the asses and donkeys. Asses and donkeys. Is that what it is? Asses and donkeys. Asses and donkeys, trust. And you sort of think she's almost like an elderly bachelorette,

but then you find out she's married and then she's very kinky and then suddenly she's what mi6 the head of british intelligence yeah who knew yeah the overall head of overall speaking of um mi5 is it right that you think that one of your family members is a spy i think my dad's a spy. That's a wild accusation. Well, we grew up in different countries, but they were all part of the Commonwealth. And claims he was a business consultant. And then I have a friend who actually dated a spy.

And apparently they're everywhere. Really? And she was like getting to know me, like where'd you grow up? And I told her and she was like, oh, your dad's 100% a spy. And then I asked him because he'd go on like business trips for a couple of days and then come back and like I didn't think anything of it because I was a child. But, yeah, we went to, you know like singapore and indonesia and australia like very suspicious and very vague job titles like he worked for like a cigarette company or something a pots and pans company he knew a man named james spooner but when i ask him about it he like laughs it off and then comes he's like i can see why you'd think that and then gives this

big story as to how he's not but then i hang up and i realize he hasn't answered the question classic spy actually denied it he just talks around the subject they teach you how to do that at spy school in fact jeremiah st frost first probably taught him oh my god yeah how do you know about jeremiah st frost that is crazy that does sound like your dad's a spy and i love that you've just outed him on a podcast well done for that well he's like retired now so short like can't you sure sure he is sam you could be putting him in all sorts of danger think of the things that he's seen this is a breach but what do you mean there's spies everywhere apparently they're just like your

next door neighbor's a spy there's a spy across the street what specifically james is next door neighbor in fact james cooper is an incredibly secretive man. James is a spy. Oh my God, James, are you a spy? James is a spy. Did you go to boarding school? No, no, no. I went to a mixed comprehensive. That's exactly what a spy would say. No, I didn't go to boarding school. But surely your mum would know if he was a spy.

No, she wouldn't. She doesn't know what's going on. Well, she's definitely not a spy then. She could be a spy in these books i don't know which is worse outing your dad as a spy or outing your mum as an imbecile no she has a phd but you know we'll be having a conversation and she's like look at that bridge and you're like what are we okay mum is that a spy that potpourri is delicious mom is that a spy look at that bridge i think it's a technique she's in on it oh my god it's sold we sold it for you um speaking of your mother

haven't you got you two had a kind of a weird porn connection at one point i was reading something that you well you did an audition yes oh my goodness oh man alive that was terrible yeah we have a house in the south coast in uh maruia australia oh nice and it there's not like a big creative studios or anything or you know there's no casting directors that live there um so i got an audition for 50 shades of gray this is like 10 years ago or something. To be the lead? Yeah. Oh, okay.

And so I was in the middle of nowhere and none of my friends were around. And it was just me, mum and dad. And they were like, the deadline is you've got two days. So you've got to get this done. And I tried doing it like recording the other person's lines on my phone and trying to match the timing but it just wasn't working and I was like oh my god okay okay okay and the scenes were like gossiping about their sex lives filthy so I asked my mom I was like mom can you just like just don't don't don't look at me just don't look at me. Just don't look at me. Just read it. But then she kept like staring at me and she was like,

what are you doing with your face? You're like, I'm being sexy, mother. I'm acting. She was like, you don't need that much lipstick or, you know. So I was like, oh, no, no, no. Hey, Dad. Oh, no. You have to go to your dad.

Hey, Dad, can you pause spying for a sec? Can you just pause spying just for one minute? I just need help and i said the same i was like just don't look at me just say the line like this is gonna i'm gonna mean so much therapy for this but he got so into it he was because he's a spy he's a spy he was like tell me everything everything. And I was, oh, he was like, was he any good? Just like getting so, like he became like,

like sexy little lady character. This 50 year old man. Did he get the part and you didn't? Yes. He plays the cute best friend. Yeah, he's the best friend. Yeah,

no, I did not get that role. Well, so you just thank your lucky stars there Sam that it was just dialogue there was no uh there was no activity oh goodness I'd just say look thanks for the opportunity but I'd rather not have a career than read this with my father thank you so tell us where do you listen and why do you listen spill the beans Bella I was actually flying back to LA for something

and I made the mistake of listening to it in the airport and I looked like an absolute lunatic because I was crying and laughing like alone. Like I couldn't pretend to be like, oh, that's funny Jimmy or oh Jimmy you're one of those crazy people who are who's just laughing at porn dementedly on your own with your headphones on rocking from side to side a bit like Dr. Robbins actually like Dr. Robbins just shuffling around controlling my laughter and it happens all

the time like I'm insane I never learn i'll listen to it in ubers and just walking around set people like what are you laughing at like it's you know what this is really embarrassing but um in preparation for this i put off doing any of my script work and took notes oh oh wow oh my god sam this is impressive i told you i'm a fan show us show us your notepad it was 4 a.m on set oh there's drawings and everything oh wow this is the knife that propels oh the onion knife the cry no more knife let's see your interpretation says cry no more. And then it says, it's 4am. I've lost the plot. You drew that at 4am, a cry no more onion knife. I'd had so many energy drinks.

And they were like, you've got an hour downtime. So I was just like pacing in my room. And then thought, oh, I'll do some. My dad wrote a porno homework. And it's not useful at all. That's a very good drawing, though. My dad wrote a porno homework and it's not useful at all. That's a very good drawing, though. You've actually captured what I think is quite a difficult mechanism for the cry no more knife. Amy, have you seen like any artwork ever?

This is not a good drawing. It doesn't even look like a knife. It looks like a sieve. Is it a bollock? This is the air coming out propelling. Yeah blows the tears away i assume electric so i put a plug you've got a plug on it i think it would be like wireless so that you could get charged plugged into the wall upside down it's giselle after a good good i love that belinda gets like her mind blown by the fact that the radio is waterproof but then when it turns into like an actual gadget she's like oh yeah no problem like it's

so true oh she's such a simple simple woman woman. Such a confusing, simple woman. The mundane just blows her mind. She's like, it's waterproof. But then like James Spooner will have like a bracelet that can like shoot lasers and cut dresses off people. And like, that's fun. It doesn't bat an eye. What of it?

Don't worry about it. But in the best way, I'm confused. Like I love Rocky so much because he makes my brain really think about things that i shouldn't be do you know what these books i mean i thought they made no sense before but actually they are batshit bananas like what is going on no but they're insane in the most beautiful way it's like lazy writing but so creative and like specific at the same time, which is what makes it. Yeah, it's incredibly detailed, yet incredibly slapdash. I think it takes a creative brain to do that, though.

I wonder if, you know, because you've read so many scripts in your time, you're probably coming at this from a professional angle. And of course, Rocky is a professional and we're we're but amateurs so i'm wondering if you see in this real potential for adaptation oh 100 i know someone mentioned that doing like a drunk history version but i think we should do it we i'll be involved come on um i think this is a pitch for you to do it like a very dark like in rocky's vision like he's he takes it very seriously so get like jean-marc valet directing make it really tonally dark interesting i think the comedy will be bigger because of it, because you won't expect it to take that turn. I love it. I'm wondering if this is the sort of material that kind of needs a big budget for it to sing.

And I'm thinking, am I right in thinking you're working with Brad Pitt soon? He's a producer. You know, he's got plan B. Like, is, you know, is this the kind of thing? I mean, it would be great if he could just take it onto the slate. Well, in a way, we're kind of giving him a gift when i say it'd be great i mean it'd be great for him he should be so lucky i will could you mention it could you just pass it along to him i mentioned it to everyone i know james so okay great great great and brad pitt is known for

like watching and listening to everything so he's probably listened to you guys stop it i don't know if we should just give it to him on a plate though because this would be a real game changer for him yeah i think we should have a bidding bidding war well i mean maybe we should see some of his work does he have a showreel i don't know margot has a production company you know so oh my god oh that's true lucky chap yeah i mean we'll take your guidance on this because this is your world but yeah if there's people that you like to work with margot robbie i've heard she's done good stuff brad pitt i mean he's got a bit of experience so if there's if there's somebody that you're like they'd be probably be able to handle it then you know we'll we'll let

them have a look but you're gonna get so much money for this like thanks no and you've got so many set pieces and like you know leather rooms and rocks and into swimming pools and then carpets and glass yeah the production design is a huge budget in itself yeah and all those locations it is like a bond movie like that like they're always in a different place i mean it's just so epic there's just such a kind of there's a scale to the world yes like avatar you know yes that made a few bob um okay so if we're doing this uh you obviously have to be in it well i think if if i was to play someone yeah who do you want to be come on let's let's let's cut to the chase this is probably isn't a popular opinion but i feel like des martin has such a sad backstory i think i could maybe bring something interesting like he has a divorce in 20 days and

slobbering on boobs and belinda doesn't care like he's just cast aside and do you think it's oscar bait because you know it's so emotional i think that's why I'm going for Des. Des Martin, curveball. And a bit like that Bob Dylan film where lots of different people played Bob Dylan. You know, you could, you know the way Cate Blanchett, you know, brought her interpretation.

You're not necessarily, no offence, the natural casting for Des Martin, but I can see it. I can see it. I look it I look at you I think I think dribbly I think if not dribbly enough then you could bring it you know I feel I feel like you would learn how to be more dribbly get a dribble coach he's just crying all the time so obviously Belinda now has a tattoo in the book on her leg I Yeah. I read that you have tattoos in such places as well. I have a Deathly Hallows tattoo.

And I did a film with Daniel Radcliffe. And we had to do stunt training for like three or four weeks. And I wore really long socks for ages because I was trying to, you know, just be cool. And then one day I forgot and he said, is that what I think it is? And I got so defensive. I like snapped at him.

I was like, it's not about you. I had that from the books. It had nothing to do with the movies. From the books, not the films. Punch me in the face. You bastard. Come on. I acted more off screen than on. Could we ever tempt you to get a belinda blink

tattoo maybe a three b's or uh sure but then will you ever talk to me again well if we actively encouraged it i think that's fine if we like made you get a tattoo i think i think that's fine what a cruel twist get it get it and then you get it and we're like, you're such a loser. Bye. See you later. So Sam, do you have anything else on your pad there? Bible, Zeus, cult. Yeah, I was not okay writing these down. No, no, no. I think I know what you're going for there. And it's something that I'm interested in well, religion, because I think I brought this up on a recent episode, like, is there some biblical references? But also like, what is Belinda's episode. Like, is there some biblical references? But also, like, what is Belinda's religion?

Like, because she talks a lot about Thor and the Norse gods, but then she, like, went to heaven and God nodded at her. She said, sorry, God. She said, sorry, God. Exactly. Like, I'm just wondering where her head's at as far as spirituality. Well, also because in the maze they were drawing all those weird spirals. Yes.

Maybe there's something... I mean, it's definitely science fiction, these books, but maybe there's also some sort of magical... Fantasy element. That's such a good point. I'd forgotten about those weird symbols that Peter Rowles put on her in the mud. Maybe that has to do with her religion. Maybe. Maybe she's more like i don't care no no i'm trying to downplay how much of a geek i am about this show

please don't downplay it this is this is the forum because i'm obsessed does that mean you've listened through more than once? 100%. It's like if I'm in a bad mood or sad, I'll listen to you guys. And immediately I'm like, oh, I'm fine again. Oh, man, that's nice and weird. It's so weird. I did warn you at the beginning that I'm not just like an indifferent human being who's like, oh, this will be a fun little podcast. Like, what are you guys up to? I know everything.

I didn't believe you, but now I do. That's the best kind. There's no point getting people on if they don't know the show. So it's great. We love it. We love geeking out about the show with people. That's our favorite thing to do.

It's what we do every week. I hope you've enjoyed geeking out with us. It's been the highlight of my existence, so... No, Sam, it's been so, so great having you. Thank you so much for coming on My Dad Wrote Porno. Well, thank you so much. I can tick this off my bucket list. And now I'll stalk you in London.

We have had a lot of laughs today. Interception. Interception. Interception.