My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Sex Parties

Episode Date: July 20, 2017

Inspired by Belinda's Belgian orgy, Emma Sayle, founder and CEO of exclusive adult event company Killing Kittens, tells the gang what really goes on behind closed doors at sex parties. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porn of the Footnotes. Now this week, Belinda indulged in a Belgian sex party, the details of which might have been somewhat Flintstonian. We can't really rely on them as being accurate. So we thought we'd talk to the oracle of orgies, CEO and founder of exclusive adult event company Killing Kittens, Emma Sale. Hi, Emma. Hi.

Hi, Emma. That's a swinging bye. Literally. Swinging bye. Literally swinging bye. Straight in. So explain what you do. I run a business that has a lot of events,

and a lot of them involve orgies. And it's all aimed at women, so women are very much in control of the events. We don't let single men in, and half of them involve completely taking clothes off and if you want to have sex, you can have sex. If you want to watch, you can watch. You can, you know, sit in a corner, play with yourself.

You're looking at James when you say that. That would be what he was doing. You, James, can sit in a corner. Something for everyone. And fiddle. We've had two girls with strap-ons recently and they were models. They were hot, just shagging each other really loudly.

Wow. I was like, that's noisy. And you walk into a room and you've got two stunning models sort of strapped onto each other. And are people just like at the side watching that? Casually chatting. Want another drink?

Chatting about the fall of the Euro. It becomes a bit of white noise when you've sort of got 80 people all entwined like Dante's Inferno and you don't know who's attached to who then actually it's just sort of it's just background when it becomes background and white noise that's when it's too long ever that's when you know it's gone wrong yeah have you seen everything now is there anything you are not used to um seen everything but then saying that it's quite a vanilla setup. So it's not the real hardcore, let's pierce everything and nipple clamp and tie ourselves up to eight guys with ten pins in their penis kind of stuff.

So not for James then? No. Not my category. You were so close to getting in there, James. It sounds a lot like book two, some of the stuff you described. Actually, it sounds a lot like book one, two and three combined. All of them, yeah. The McDonagh brothers.

Maybe my dad's been to a Killing Kittens party. I say i can't reveal i'm not sure oh of course you can't no i can't and we hope we've got silver kittens as well so they're the parties for the over 45 so oh maybe he has maybe that's where he's been going this free time maybe he got some material because we should say like you know these are very exclusive events that you run you know this isn't just people down the pub getting in like sally one yeah it's not a weather exactly like you have to kind of is there like a guest list or you have to be on a list to get yeah so we've got a big website um where anyone that comes to any of our events has to register on the website and submit photos and then you get um vetted and once in you have a

username and password and then you can buy tickets for the event so so who's deciding the pictures who gets in and who there's three girls in the office who do all that thing and they don't start the vetting till after 11 in the morning once they've had their breakfast the amount of guys who think headshots are headshots oh really whoa a dick pic yeah they don't they do we get a lot of headshots as dick pics is that immediate disqualification no they just get a very polite message saying please upload a decent headshot move the camera unless they're a jim sterling and they can be on their way and never be allowed in ever yeah although the old jim sterling the old jim sterling of course Yeah, must make that clear. Yeah. Now, obviously, Belinda, this week,

visited a sex party slash orgy situation in Brussels. Did that bear any relation to anything that you've ever seen before? No. Right. No. Standing on chairs and... Yeah.

No, having four minutes each per partner. But, I mean, even what was funny is that they had to take their socks off which you know to me keeping your socks on during sex is like an absolute no-no it's a complete kill yeah but often we'll in our parties you'll just see you will see some feet with socks on and you think why oh gross some feet not even some people just some feet so my dad was onto something at least in that part of it yeah Yeah, I like that bit. Okay, fair enough.

It's either the detail of taking the socks off. But there's no games or anything like that. Do you have games at these parties? No, we have, it's very simple. We have cocktail or champagne and oyster receptions. And that's sort of when people mingle, get to know each other. And then after a couple of hours, it's of hours, the bar bit becomes a bit emptier and you know that people are kind of going off.

And then are people quite upfront? Are they like, do you want to go and shag upstairs? Or is it like just a really sped up date so people are quite polite about it? It's a mixture of both, but it's more of a shall we go upstairs and chill in the playrooms type thing. Oh, that's

what that means yeah okay i've always misunderstood that and got the bus name don't bring scrabble up there so it's more like that and also we have rules where men can't speak to girls they don't know they have to wait for the girls to approach them so it's very okay yeah so it's all about the woman it's very female led on that front Belinda would fit in well I was going to say, would Belinda get in? Yeah, but also she's got quite a KK female mentality

she does chug around but a lot of it is to close business deals so you know she's got an aim and a mission and she's like even if that's, you know, sleeping with women and chocolate fountains. Are your parties themed?

Are there different themes for different parties? Would you have a chocolate fountain party, for example? Well, funnily enough, it did give me an idea. We've got this country house for the next two months where we're doing lots of parties and we've got a huge terrace by the pool. And I suddenly thought, oh, actually, at the last party, people were getting a bit peckish.

And so that gave me an idea to throw in a big chocolate fountain. Are you joking? It actually gave me that idea no i'm not no i'm not joking we were literally sat in the office on monday trying to think of whether we do canapes and stuff and i just thought hmm a few little dumplings on plates isn't really and actually i think i'm going to throw in a big chocolate not as in a massive one you can swim in oh come on ever do it one where you just did various things. Emma, that's going to kill the mood.

If anyone listens to this podcast and sees a chocolate van, they're like, I'm going home. I'm off. And it was girl-on-girl action, innit? So, you know, it might not be too bad. It's just full of Belindas, Bellas and Giselles. Just everywhere. Left, right and centre.

That's a nightmare, though, to be fair. There's probably some quite intelligent women there. I was going to say. I'm not sure Bella might wish to be on this borderline. There's no way bella's getting in bella gets smuggled in through the toilet window i think um so obviously there's a lot of characters in belinda blinked i'm interested to know who might get in and who not we've established bella ain't getting anywhere near it belinda would she's she's classic belinda's in yeah i think Giselle. Yeah, absolutely. Was there another Dutch on?

Was it Zara? Zara. Countess Zara, yes. I think she would. And I mean, the Duchess and her friends. She is. Definitely. She'd be in, yeah. And her, is it Epsom Hall?

Yeah, Epsom, yeah. Yeah, what's her house called? You could hire her. I think we'd hire that out. Definitely. Stop getting ideas from books. Why are we running your company for you let's just plant something so that emma does it let's come on i'm getting bored i need new ideas so we've talked about the duchess do we need to talk about the duchess have i heard whispers about this is that right oh yeah we've seen

pictures are you friends with the duchess of cambridge no absolutely he keeps drinking her wine you've got a bad poker face emma i mean obviously you can't say because you're not friends sips wine um and you've like never met sips wine and we have met there's definitely photographic evidence of that i can't lie about that okay but like you know bffs whatever phrase you want to use but would you take in theory the duchess of cambridge to one of your parties um yeah i'd say i think should just sit around and have a few drinks yeah sure just chill so when you get intelligent kind of open-minded people then they go well do you know what we don't have to get involved but each their own and no one's getting hurt so yeah and it's like nice respite from you know royal visits you've got you've got you've got to chill out somehow the perfect answer and you get a seat and you get a standing room can you imagine not opening one like i'm doing

what sorry i'm opening the country house party. Cutting the ribbon, being like, I really should have read the small printout. How much are they paying me? But did she enjoy it? She has not been. She has not been. Oh, I don't know.

I don't, yeah, I don't think she's been to the party. She's been to the party. No, it's been 12 years and a lot of orgies and a lot of masks but yeah you'd know that bouncy hair anywhere oh god I wonder if she listens I'd love if the Duchess

of Cambridge listened to this well she'd love that there's a Duchess character surely she could be in the movie no she's too young she's too beautiful I mean it's a production

meeting to have probably another time that Megan one she can be they look quite similar don't they is it Megan Michael

yeah Harry's one oh that's a good megan michael yeah harry's one oh that's a good shout for belinda yeah and she's an actress and she's an actress we can actually do it we do need a belinda yeah no one's willing to be belinda yet interestingly enough so megan get on our instagram do a little one minute audition tape yeah send us a dm so obviously you can't talk about who's been to the parties yeah but we were just saying in the books we obviously have very well-known individuals the aristocracy listed in belinda blinked you must have people who hold high positions high ranks we do we have a we have

a lot of um high profile people and not so much the aristocracy more sort of sports there's a lot of sports people but then i think that's quite a testosterone sex factor going on with the sports so yeah sometimes do you feel a bit like i mean i'm discreet but are you sure you want to be here like look at all these because people must turn their heads when they recognize someone there's a few i mean there were two guys who are very well known in the sports world having an argument at the bar they'd had bets with each other on the outcome of a certain sporting event and they were doing it really loudly um and people were and they're taking their masks off which i told them not to do oh for god's sake yeah people were walking past and double taking and which football team do they play for

footballers don't really get spotted because they're little other sports are much more notable just from the build like if you're like a big tall rower or like a basketball player or a rugby player yeah all these all those all those sports they're not all compatible sports yeah yeah i'm no one guy was shagging one of those guys these big guys and very loudly i don't think she meant to say it so loudly in a big busy room went fuck it's like shagging something out the maxi muscle advert which got the whole room quiet she just yelled that yeah exactly um have you got any other like mad stories from a party anything else that's yeah what's the

craziest thing you've seen um well we've done we've done the parties but also we've done we do sort of fantasy experiences so i mean we've done we had one guy wanted to be kidnapped from kensington gardens um um and kidnapped by batman and then tied up i'm not i'm not lying and then tied up in a hotel room and rescued by supergirl um wow you worried that some of it was a hotel room and rescued by Supergirl. Wow. Were you worried that some of it was a typo and that you'd then done it? And your husband said, Batman. No, so I was the getaway driver because this was right near the beginning. Stop it.

It's so good. But then he wanted it done at five o'clock at night, which on that, was it the Holland Park road? Yeah. It's pretty busy at that time. And so I was on the side streets and actually you know batman and another guy pegged it out the side gate of kensington gardens with a sheet wrapped up a body wrapped up in the sheet down the side road into the van and no one where people were

just like just carried on walking like no one batted an island yeah bundled into the back of a van and then we went and tied him up i had some real Afrikaans guys in the back who were just talking Afrikaans in deep voices. Wow. Just to scare him. So did that really turn him on? Yeah. But it's like sort of, there is that kind of classic sort of kidnap fantasy of being tied up and rescued and so being completely out of control.

I know. This guy has had a few and he likes his superheroes so so generally the people that come people who've been quite sexually experimental in the past and adventurous like i'm thinking are they people who've joined the mile high club have they like yeah they're quite i mean it's a lot of people go oh is it just all posh people or is it all you know white people and it's like it's not it's not you know you can't pinpoint every you know there's not everyone works in the same industry it's i always say it's a mindset they're all hedonists they're all quite high flyers who want to experience life and they're the sort that might

want to jump out of an airplane or or travel you know it's the thing they're all kind of positive go-getters who just go well you check. You've just described Belinda. You've just about literally... It might even have said it on her CV. Alice, you can't beat the high line. You can't beat the high line. And she travels a lot, doesn't she? Oh, she does. And when you get what you want, you feel great.

Yeah, it all makes sense now. And she's in control, you know what I mean? It's not like she's feeling used by the guys. She does it because she wants to, to get somewhere, or a deal done so you know it's not like she's being used oh god imagine the deals being done at your parties yeah honestly i tell you what there's a lot of business done because i often then i know i promise you because i then see people out and i'll bump into people and they would have met up with other members and it's like, so the Masons. Stop it.

That's not the secret handshake. This is where all business in the UK is being done at these parties. Oh my God, my dad's totally right. We're completely wrong, guys. This is where all the business dealings go down. Has anybody attended a party that you know of that is from the pots and pans industry? Anyone, T-Fal or Lutry Zay? No, there's chefs, but there's not. I don't think there's pots and pans. I mean, there probablyile no there's chefs but there's not i don't think there's

pots and pans i mean they probably are but they're very discreet yeah famously okay but yeah i'm not when you say business is getting done i mean obviously it's it's business time but do you mean like actual deals are getting made like probably in more more introductions and let's and chat have a bit of business chat and then they'll meet up. Business cards are exchanged. Yeah, business cards are definitely exchanged. And the thing is, you know, once you've seen someone naked and at it, then you can't piss them off in the outside world. You are bound together in business and in life.

But do you think behind closed doors at major businesses like at Steeles, but I mean in real life, that these things are happening? Yeah. You do? I think, you know, you hear stuff from friends who go away on sort of business weekends or Monday to Thursday on some conference

and the stuff they all get up to. God, I feel so vanilla. I don't think it's, yeah, I think it's happening everywhere and, you know, in little villages. Little villages? Not the villages, Emma. I don't think it's, yeah, I think it's happening everywhere. And, you know, in little villages. Little villages? Not the villages, Emma. I know.

In the villages. The maze was literally in a little village, wasn't it? Yeah, that's true. That's true. A sex auction. Do you have a leather room at your office? That's in my house. House, no, office, yes.

No. We've got a lot of stuff in there that's been given or come from events and stuff. Oh no, come from events. But actually, do you know what? Again, I had an idea. You guys gave me an idea. Stop it! I know, with the charity thing.

You know, they took all the clothes and gave it away to charity. Oh yes. We've got a massive cupboard full of leftover clothes. Really? And you think, how can you leave a really expensive dress? What did they go home in? Yeah. And then no one claims it and we've got you know shoes and expensive bras and things so

actually it's all sat there so i thought oh send it to oxy and bruj i wonder i wonder if i can send it to a charity shop i'm gonna put you in direct contact with rocky because i think that this is a really great symbiotic relationship yeah it's the start of a beautiful partnership it really is exactly yeah um so belinda blink does it shock you at all are you i mean it must be just boring to you in comparison for what to what you've seen no it's not boring it's quite it's actually right she is quite she's very kk girl-esque i think maybe what people don't understand about dad slash rocky flintstone is actually how pro women these books are like all of the girls in these books they are always the first person to make the move i think in pornography that's actually quite rare yeah very rare i mean to me a lot of the porn is women are a piece of

meat and the guys are just sort of flipping the girls over and throwing them onto the next guy but not in belinda blinked no apart from the Apart from the library. Oh, no, the men move round, don't they? The men moved round. She was just very comfortably on her back on a reading room table. That's all she was doing. She was happy as life. Well, this has been amazingly eye-opening. And I feel quite proud of my dad that you've actually taken some inspiration from his books.

I'll send you some pictures of the chocolate fountain. Oh, yeah. Please do. That would be amazing. He will frame them and put them on the wall of the pavilion for you. Oh, yeah. Please do. That would be amazing. He will frame them and put them on the wall of the pavilion for you. There you go.

Emma, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic,

not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back with 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.