My Dad Wrote A Porno - S1E9 - 'The Horse and Jockey' REMASTERED

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

To celebrate 10 years since the show began, we're releasing remastered versions of season 1. In what is becoming the longest day of her life, Belinda returns to The Horse and Jockey for dinner followed by a second dalliance with Peter Rouse... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages 0 to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again.

Check it out at yotoplay.com. The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Jamie, why are we here? We're here because my dad's written a porno. Your dad's written a porno. Erotic literature. Why?

Why? Previously, on My Dad Wrote a Pornow. The Duchess's breasts draped over Belinda's pocket. She started to massage Belinda's back and buttocks. All four of them. Oh, snap! Belinda walked around the bedroom. with her monster prick out in front of her.

Hello and welcome to yet another instalment of my dad wrote a porno. James, how are you? Great, actually. Yeah? Alice, how are you? I just feel like more than ever people are referring to Monday as Belinda Day. Yeah. Hashtag Pornow Day.

Hashtag Pornaday, if you will. Who knew that people wanted a bit of filth on Monday morning? It is. People object to listening to it on public transport because they say, you know, it's so embarrassing and appalling. Yeah, that's all people seem to do is listen to it on their commute. I mean, it's going to be a hazard. It's just when people have said that their headphones have fallen out and our voices are just beaming across the tube network saying... Especially the last step. Oh, my goodness. The last step was, that was pretty intense. How are you feeling after that, Al?

I felt rejuvenated now, but it has taken me a full week. Actually, how are you feeling about that, Jamie? Because I've realised, you know, we always have to keep in mind, your dad wrote this. Oh, that fact has never been lost on me, James. I've started to forget. Yeah. You guys just think, oh, this is so awful. Try being the spawn of hockey.

It's not fun. Just as a like kind of check-in, how is he feeling about the dramatization, if you will, of his work? He's actually really oddly proud of us. He was saying the other day that he's really happy with it. he's become obsessed with Twitter he follows Rocky Flintstone's on Twitter I'm not sure if he even has a Twitter account

I think he just follows our stream and he just gets very excited every time somebody new tweets about it so guys thank you for keeping Rocky up at night and annoying the hell out of my mother because apparently all he does is a I've got another two followers I've got another one follower

who's been 20 minutes when we haven't had any followers oh no I love that Rocky's like kind of emotional status hanging in the balance because somebody tweeted I can't remember who it is. Sorry, whoever you are. But they said, was it a coincidence that Blinder Blinked is 69 pages long? My dad was just loving that. Mum was like, I don't really get that. Like, is that a joke?

And dad was like, oh, for God seek, Wilmer. Of course it's, do you not get it? And mum's like, well, what is it? I can't bear it. And he said, it's obvious. A six and a nine. are the shape of a naked lady you put them together

and they look like a naked woman that's right right honestly do they no they don't B dad what are you on and I had just be like guys because they were like debating this for a while

and I was like I just have to put them out of their misery did you correct them? Yeah I just said guys it's actually a sexual position I want to take that home with you and dissect on your own time. You know that's going to be in the next book, a 69. I'm really, really stuck trying to work out if it's an aerial view of a woman or like just like a Belinda style droopy boob on one side and I hurt one on the other. I don't know. Because it's almost a sphere really if they're together. That's so confusing. Blessing though. I thought you knew everything there was to know about sex. Really? Have you not read the book? Oh no, you're right. Yeah, he knows literally nothing. James, if I didn't exist, I'd question whether my dad had ever had sex. So I don't know where are you getting that idea. You're adapted. Oh my God, maybe. What a way to find out.

Oh, my God. I'd be really upset, but also quite relieved at the same time. Then the podcast would be not worth doing it. You would not be an heir to the Belinda Fortune. Well, let's stop right now. So, chapter, what are we on? Chapter 10? We're on Chapter 10 today, yeah.

Really double figures first time. That's quite exciting, isn't it? A one and a, oh, my brother like the shape of a naked lady. A cock and balls. It's a naked Jim Sterling. Oh. So what's Chapter 10 called? Chapter 10 is called The Horse and Jockey.

Oh yes, we're back to the pub. Well, she was travelling back, wasn't she, at the end of the last chapter? Yes, she was, yeah. She'd stolen the Duchess Land Rover and was like bombing it back to town. I love that she's a con now. With her experience of caravanning, she didn't have to bring the whole thing with it. That was potentially my favourite line of last chapter, actually. Okay, Belinda blinked.

Chapter 10, The Horse and Jockey. Yes. The signposts were true to their word. What? Because, oh, God. This is the quickest interruption, yeah. I mean, why wouldn't they be? Why wouldn't they be?

The signposts were true to their word, and Belinda soon found her way to the horse and jockey. She manoeuvred the large car into one of the parking spaces, cut the engine, and found her way to reception. Well, 10 points of Belinda already. I could have helped Rocky with this initial. Like, just right, Belinda got to the horse and jockey reception, and we could have saved a lot of time.

It was now 8pm, and she asked the youngish man on duty if dinner was still serving. It's been a long day, isn't it? She must be ravenous, I tell you what. It's the same day as the egg and chips she had and the beans that you were bothered about. She went on a tour of the cookshops of London first thing. Oh, my God. She's done a lot today.

Also, how old do we feel the young, is what do we think is that like 30 well he's a man so he's going to be not under 18 do we think also this is rocky's definition of youngish oh it could be 53 because i think rocky still thinks you know he's young at heart so it's like youngish 59 she asked the youngest man on duty if dinner was still serving well it's eight o'clock can I just say yeah what's the window for dinner if not eight That's when I normally book a table for you. Yeah, eight o'clock's prammed ham. There's still 20 more minutes left for orders.

20 minutes? 20 minutes? To get an ordering? Also, what cutoff point is 20 past the hour? Breakfast is served from 616 until 8.17. And dinner finishes at 8.20. Belinda, just order another beans on toast and you'll be fine. There's still 20 more minutes left for orders, madam.

And might I add, how extremely attractive you are looking this evening? Are you joking? She's been through the mill! She's been through the mat mill. She's dressed in like ripped jodpers and like... No, they're not ripped. Oh, stolen. Yeah, stolen.

God, I'm right in my own bucket, right? It's right to presume everything she's wearing is ripped. Usually it is. Belinda grinned and wondered if he had recognised the clothes or was just fishing for a bit of sex later on that night. It's a fair question to ask, yeah. Also not using a verbal response, as has become Belinda's trademark. It finishes at 8.20 and you look really nice.

Grin. Grin, blink. Hang on. Let her finish. Don't get on your high horse, literally. Belinda grinned and wondered if he had recognised the clothes or was just fishing for a bit of sex later on that night. Whatever. She didn't want to disappoint, so she replied,

Why, thank you. How very gentlemanly of you to say so, especially as I'm dining alone. Belinda, not everyone. One wants a shag. Some people are just complimenting you. Especially want a shag from Belinda. She's not everyone's type. Especially people who work for tips. No offence. Oh, do you think he's just laying on the flattery in the charm?

I love that she's... A bellboy. What year is it? He smiled in return and nodded slowly, as if confirming he might be available that evening. Well, I think she's read into that nod, hasn't she? A nod can't really say you or may be available this evening. Yeah, she's reaching a bit there. And just be like, yeah. Yeah, thumbs up. Yeah, you crazy lady going. A slow nod as well is basically like, I'm pushing the alarm below the desk.

Please book me in for dinner. I'll be down in 10 minutes. Certainly, madam. Belinda asked for her key and went immediately to her room. She quickly spruced herself up and viewed the mirror. Yes, she agreed. I do look extremely attractive in a very raw, sexy way in this riding gear. Agreed with who?

Oh, the bellboy. Yeah, I love that her internal monologue is way chatier than her actual self. I think this is a must-new style for me. Hopefully Peter Rouse will feel the same. It's a must-new style. That's not a sentence. Interesting syntax again. Hopefully Peter Rouse will feel the same.

However, there was no time to lose. She was famished. She hadn't eaten since that very quick lunchtime barbecue, and she needed strength for the rest of what was going to be, very active evening. Oh my God. We forgot the barbecue. I don't remember.

I haven't any barbecue. Was that at the tombollah? That's what you guys got confused with the beans. Oh. No, she had a full English. No, that, again, was created by you. She only had scrambled eggs. At a barbecue?

No, she had scrambled eggs in the morning. And then she went to the barbecue. James thought there was beans there. Turned out it was a sausage or something. No, you thought she had beans with the eggs. Oh, I can't. I mean, who cares? But I think what this is telling us is.

I do apologize. But I think that was what this is telling us is. telling us is, you know, you're complaining about the lack of detail. It means you can, you know, add your own spin on it. Like, put your own details in. Well, there is one sure fire way to know if she ate the beans or not, and that is to buy the book available on Amazon, everybody. Absolutely. Nice plug, Jamie. Thank you. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My

kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio. player where kids just pop in a card and listen, hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more and no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com, y-o-t-o-p-l-a-y-com. She ran down to the dining room, got shown her table, and immediately ordered a bottle of chardonnay. Chilion, of course. Of course. Of course. When I'm absolutely famished as well, I'm like, what I need first is a bottle of wine. I'm so hungry, just straight for the bottle.

Belinda prided herself on knowing her wines. Her father, after all, was a sales manager for one of the big wine cellars in central London. And he had spent many evenings training her in one of the best sales techniques for getting clients to buy without remorse. Hang on, he taught her to like shag around. Ew. Oh no. Bobby Blumenthal taught of this. My dad taught me a sales technique. We found our series two. So was Mr. Bumantal always handcuffed to a trellis?

I don't understand which bit was the bit that you taught her. He had spent many evenings training her in one of the best sales techniques for getting clients to buy without remorse, drinking very good wine and lots of it. Oh. So not sex. Should they just let that sentence finish? Sorry, we were premature there.

Belinda dined at her leisure. No, she didn't. For 10 minutes. Unless she means like she likes having a food blended and then having it through a straw. Gross. Belinda dined at her leisure and for the first time that day she felt she wasn't under pressure. Well, of course she did. She's not like strapped to a trellis.

She's not like strapped to a bed. I would feel less under pressure when I wasn't strapped to something. I feel like that was drawing on something that you're agitated about. Seriously, you were that a bit of an overreaction. What have you been strapped to today? Though her strange clothing didn't fit all that well and made her feel quite hot, she couldn't wait to start removing some of it, she thought, wickedly. Go to bed, Belinda.

Just have an early night. Have an early night, watch some, like, rubbish TV. Yeah. Just get some kip. It's a Saturday night, X-Factor will be on or something. Do you know what I mean? Her meal finished, Belinda took the rest of her wine to her room in the nice bucket, where she sipped it slowly.

Probably directly out of the bucket, if I know Belinda. Class all the way. It was now 11pm, and it was the time for... Wait, sorry. Three hours? She did have a leisurely time of it. I bet they couldn't wait to get her out of there. You did say last orders at 20 past eight.

She's got a busy evening ahead of her. Why is she like messing about at dinner for three hours? It was now 11pm and it was time for Peter to make an appearance. Belinda went down to the lobby where she ordered another bottle of chardonnay. Ppped it into the... That'll see her through till 2am. Yeah. Popped it into the replenished ice bucket and waited for Peter.

Was it replenished? Oh, good. What's the ice doing? Has the ice melted? Probably not. Someone's probably replenished it. Yeah, what's the character arc of the ice? Also, where's the youngish man? Is he off duty? Spot on at 1130. He walked through the lobby door and saw Belinda immediately.

Well, she's got a massive hat on. She's dressed like she's just been to a fox hunt. And I can't imagine the lobby was that busy at 1130. I feel so specially spotting me straight away. Love at first sight. She's probably convinced herself of that, to be fair. He opened his hands and kissed her on the cheek. Opened his hands? Like a book?

Is he doing the charades motion for a book? He opened his hands and kissed her on the cheek, both sides. Not unusual for a sophisticated European. Hang on, when he says cheek, we meet face cheek, right? Not buttock, surely. That may be coming. I think that's unusual for a European. That's never happened to me.

Would you like a drink, Mr. Rouse? Oh, please keep calling me Peter. After all, we are very much acquainted after this afternoon's events. Yeah, I mean, I wrote symbols on you, so we know each other well. I literally splattered your body with hieroglyphics, honey. Have I told you, you have a wonderful body, my dear, and much, much better without the mud? Well, whose fault was that? Yeah, you're the one who's caking her in the stuff.

They both laughed, and Peter said, I do like your current outfit, Belinda, very much in tune with this hotel. Great small talk. Brilliant. Well done, Peter. Belinda gently blushed. She couldn't tell him how she had acquired the clothing, and she really did enjoy wearing it. That's true. That's going to be a moo killer. Straight after I had sex with you, I went to a Duchess House, and she stuck a riding crop up me. There's no easy way is there to break that. Unfortunately, she's already had dinner, because that would be a kind of like midway through Mainz, like, did me say. You know how we had sex and it was really amazing, and we had that connection. And a couple of other things, I stole her car and I've left her unconscious at her house. And also, she's quite old and saggy.

Anyway, what did you do today? Dear a diary. Oh, my God, the diaries of Belinda Blink. It'll be amazing. Spin off. Oh, no, don't. Because someone's going to nick that now. Copyright.

I do like wearing adventurous garments, Peter. And I hoped these would tweak your interest. Tweak your interest. That's not the phrase. I don't want to tweak anyone's interest, thank you very much. Put your interest away. Let's peak your interest, Rocky. Top marks.

Is that what they say in their interest? the show jumping circles? No. Belinda replied quickly. I'm more of a fox chasing type of person myself. Belinda likes fox hunting. Ha ha ha, ha. Very good, Belinda.

I do enjoy your style of humour. Sorry. Alert me to when that begin. Yeah, at least someone does. How did the joke begin? Yeah, I was going to say, I mean, how far back should we go? What was the joke? I think the book's the joke.

I do enjoy your style of humour. Now let's have some of that delicious wine. Belinda poured Peter a glass and lent back on the leather settee. Peter sat beside her and gently fondled her left thigh. In the lobby? How'd you fondle a thigh? Just like pat a thigh, don't you? Just like, caress gently. Yeah, I don't think you fondle. I hope if this is going to go any further, they take it into a more private setting. Don't sit in the lobby. Yeah, do you think they're sat at that bit where always in the window it's like, it's been in like the kind of like B&B guide and you know, like they've always got all the leaflets for like things to see in the area.

Aladdin in Panto. There's usually like a butterfly center or like some kind of like farm. A salt museum. Peter, could we position some of our pots and pans range in your supermarkets? What? Oh, that's what she meant. So when Dad wrote she's going to get down to business, he means literally business. Oh, actual business and leadership.

Oh my God. If you were Peter, he'd be like, sorry what? You'd be like, gear change. Yeah. You'd think, because of that scenario, because he's fondling a thigh. You'd be like, yeah, I can position some of my pots and pans in your... Supermarket. That's some work there, does it?

But you'd be clutching at straws. The thing is, though, I think because they're all here under the pretense of it being a business kind of networking event, maybe they're all used to having their sexual fantasies fulfilled whilst discussing business. This is the worst way to do business. I think it's a great way to do business. Oh, you do you? It's kind of old school. You're a Flintstone.

You probably think it's absolutely conventional. Absolutely, Peter replied. In fact, this afternoon, we've just ordered 3,000 units of your OxyBrillo reigns. Who's naming these products? Hands up if you're wet. Guys, quicker name brainstorm. OxyBrillo? Brainstorm over.

Sold. Meeting adjourned. Off to the Pentra. I'm glad that only took two minutes. Cheers. In fact, this afternoon, we've just ordered 3,000 units of your oxybrillow. brillo range to get you started and my purchasing team are looking at other products of yours which will fit into our present range of kitchen utensils so she needn't have bothered with like

before she was strapped to the trellis they'd already ordered the oxy billet range do you mean before well he said this afternoon he must have done it before the I think that is gutting if that's the case no I think he had sex with her discovered that she was amazing then put his order in but if it was before I'd be like can I see the PO form please and let's check the time because I have been used. Don't say P-O form. It's turning Jamie on. All this business chat.

Yeah. Wow, Belinda gasped and opened her leg slightly. Calm yourself, Belinda. Peter quickly took advantage and moved his hand higher up her thigh. No, no, look, go to your bedroom and then do all this business. Or at least one thing at a time. If we're talking business, talk business, then get that finished with and then go, you know, a bit of slap and tickle, but don't combine the two.

It's a classic mixing business and pleasure at never ends well. That's what that phrase is about. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts and more.

And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages 0 to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com, y-o-t-o-p-l-a-y-l-com. Belinda undid her cravat. Oh my God, sexy. Belinda undid her cravat and slowly unbuntoned the top four of her shirt buttons. Four to me says boobs are showing. Well, it's funny you should say that because the next line is,

Her delicious cleavage was now on view. That doesn't surprise me. Peter quickly moved his other hand to fondle her left breast. Just one of them. Just one tit. I love that it's like twister. Like right hand into groin, left hand onto breast. Peter quickly moved his other hand to fondle her left breast

and rubbed the nipple showing through the white linen. Sometimes I just need to mime it out just to see if it's actually physically possible Because sometimes That worried I didn't know What you were doing That was getting A bit close to me

It's right in your face Sorry And do you think This is passable As an action Yeah I do think He's going to kind of Look slightly odd

But I think Like he's operating A machine Or something A bit like he's kind of Rubbing his tummy And patting his head

Yeah It's one of those kind of motions going on He's skillful then At least it's happening In the foyer of a hotel And not somewhere strange

No problem no problem belinda after all your company's products are top class if a little expensive and i'm sure we can overcome that little problem between us as he's like as he's just holding a boob and rubbing the nipple rubbing the nipple not a time to criticise your prize point in my opinion but maybe it's why i haven't advanced in business yes belinda gasped her sense is working overtime between peter's massaging her very upper thigh and breast. Her very upper thigh. I have access to some marketing incentives which will help.

What? She's brilliant. This is the sexiest, sexiest, dirty talk I have ever heard. Shish, Belinda. Yeah, seriously. Just relax. Shush now, Belinda. Shush.

Shut up. Let me talk. Shish, Belinda. Just relax, said Peter. We can discuss this all at the office next week in Amsterdam when you come to visit me. He brought it up? Precisely. Exactly. Hippocrat. I've gone right off, Peter. I love that he hadn't gone off him when he started writing strange symbols on a back.

Well, I thought he was going to be a bit more exciting. I thought he was going to be a kind of, I don't know. I just thought he'd be something. Underneath it, he's just a hard-nosed business man. He is, isn't he? They all are. All the same. All the same. Beasts. You think you've got a relationship and then they invoice you. We can discuss this all at the office next week in Amsterdam when you come to visit me. Am I? replied Belinda? Oh, yes, of course. I really can't wait. Well, let's make it Thursday, okay? Yes, yes, I'll be there. But now, said Peter, let's get down to some real business.

Good one, Peter. He slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on Belinda's shirt. No, no, no. He slowly took her out of the foyer to the bedroom. Also, love all the mentions of buttons. He slowly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on Belinda's shirt and let her Her full oval breasts fall out. Oval. Oval. Oval. Oval.

This is where I think the 69, like, looks more. Oh. Imagine a 69 as a boob. Oval breasts. I'm not sure they're, yeah, okay. It's none of my business. It's fine. Better than pomegranates.

Well, I was going to say they're kind of morphing all the time. Were they changing shape? Were they pomegranates? Were they hers? Oh, maybe they were Giselles. Yeah, I was going to say. To be fair. Oh, yeah.

I think they were described as shape. shapely, and obviously that shape is oval. In one fluid movement, he tucked her shirt into the back of her jodpas and started kissing her. Why would he tuck her in? That's very bizarre. So, a boobs are out, so what's he keeping concealed? No, never show your lower back. We're in reception. It's like taking down the trousers and tying her shoes.

What a weird combination. Belinda groaned. She could never resist the soft male touch. of a mouth on her nipples. You're okay? Mm-hmm. Sure. She never could resist it, Jamie.

She needs to learn. She could never resist the soft male touch of a mouth on her nipples, and Peter was exquisite in his sensuality. Gugh. Sorry. Yeah. That just repeated on me. We're all there.

Above his head in the corner of the lobby. Oh, no. What's your face saying? What was it? Alfonzi's head popped through a window. Belinda noticed a red light blinking. What does that mean? It was a security camera.

No doubt recording what was going on. Oh gosh. Her mind thought of the young man behind the desk when she checked in. Her mind thought. She thought. She thought. Is this a new character? Belinda's mind.

You don't need to say what part of the body is doing the thinking. It's her mind. It's her brain, that's fine. I don't know. Her clip can do a lot of thinking too. You're right. We're waley chatting to be sure. That's true.

It was more the back chat. Never thinks before it talks that clip. Her mind thought of the young man behind the desk when she checked in. Yes, that was it. He was building his profile of her for his personal use. No. They've got a security camera. They didn't expect you to start shagging in the middle of reception.

You didn't rig it up half an hour before thinking, oh, just in case. When she went for a 20 minute dinner, we didn't think, oh, oh, I'm glad. I brought that home kit of like CCTV equipment. I'll Skype her from my house. Not all about you, Belinda, big head. Yeah, seriously. Oval head. Oval hood.

A wicked thought entered her mind. She would give him a session to record. And Peter Rouse a very good time into the bargain. I knew, I knew it. He's just a voyeur, this youngish man. Oh yeah, of course. And guys, that is the end of chapter 10. You are joking.

That's the end of chapter 10. So she's about to do a, like, a porno, Sash? Basically, turns out Dad isn't just writing a porno, but there's now going to be a porno in the porno. What's the next chapter called? I can't believe that's the end. Can we guess what the next chapter's called? Is it called the porno?

The webcam. The web cam. The next chapter is called Sunday night, 1155 p.m. Great. Snappy title. It's not Sunday night. Is it Sunday night? It's Saturday night?

Unless we'd jump ahead now. No, no, I'm sure it's probably still the same night. Yeah, that would be consistent with Rocky style. Yeah. Sunday night, 1155pm. I don't know what to make of that. I feel like the character of Peter's entirely changed. Yes.

He's become a right sap, and then actually when he was in the maze, he was, you know, quite... Studly and quite... Yeah, mysterious. He swept her off her feet. But maybe he just looked good in comparison to what she'd just had, which was Jim Sterling. Yeah, to be fair, so he's a good person, Jim Sterling's a good person to follow. Actually, Jim Sterling is probably quite a good person to have like a little photo of on your mirror. You know, in the morning when you're just like, feel really low and I look a bit shit.

Oh, no, I'm fine. Life's great. Next. He'd be a good, like, warm-up guy, wouldn't he? Send him in first all the time. Poor Jim. Who's going to play Jim in the film, actually? He's got a tiny penis. Who'd ever sign on for doing it? Well, they won't. Will they have to be CGI.

A CGI penis or CGI Jim Sterling. Oh, lot. I don't think we'd even need a big budget for that. Wow. So that was quite Sex Light again. Yeah, but I feel like it's kind of teed up the next chapter quite nicely.

I think we know what we're going to be getting next Monday. So guys, do get in touch with us. Let us know what you think of the book and the podcast so far. We're on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, just Google. My dad wrote a porno.

You'll find us. Also, please head over to Amazon and buy the book. Let us know what you think of the horse and jockey. I'd definitely stay there. Oh my God. Do you think it actually exists?

And if it doesn't, we should set one up. Shall I do a quick Google? There'll be like a thousand horse and jockeys, surely. There is one. Where? In Ravenston, Bedford. I think this is exactly where it's said. It sounds just like Ravensden.

If there's a maze near Ravensden and a small chalet. Guys, the CCTV. And dinner ends at 820. It's the place. Oh my God, we found it. We need to go. Let's go now. James, start gunning the engine.

We're going. Get the Land Rover going. To the horse and jockey. Hey. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed.

Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again. Check it out at yotoplay.com. Y-O-T-O-P-L-A-Y dot com.