My Dad Wrote A Porno - S2E16 - 'A Bit Of Spaghetti Sauce'

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

Still in Texas, Belinda is taken to an Italian restaurant by well-connected businessman, where things get very saucy over a bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Basically, all the good stuff. Previously on My Dad Wrote a Porno... Belinda pulled him over to the bed and started to stimulate his monster dick. He's got a monster prick. He's got a monster prick. He's got a... Oh, there's two lines. He slowly entered Belinda's pussy.

He felt like a man revisiting the house where he had grown up as a child. Everything was the same, but different. Everything was the same, but different. Belinda gave in to nature, not once, but twice before the inevitable blue ejaculation cut across her dreams. Cut across her dreams. Hello everybody and welcome to the penultimate episode of My Dad Wrote a Porno Series 2. Are you fucking kidding me? I know. Over the moon. I mean, what?

I'm so sad. It honestly feels like two days ago that we were saying, welcome back to My Dad Wrote a Porno Series 2. Are you serious? I feel like it's been a lifetime. No, because every time I do full memory erasing because there's no point in remembering what happened. So honestly, every chapter is afresh.

But no one can forget the last chapter and what happened. I mean, people have been saying that it was a bit out there and that would be the understatement of 2016 so far. Honestly. However, I was thinking about it and the blue cum was obviously ridiculous

but way back in season one when we had that little Q&A with Rocky he did say his literary inspiration was Stephen King. You think that was a horror film?

Well, I think he was influenced by the horror of Stephen King's writing. Has Steph King done stuff about blue cum? I missed that one. I think Rocky's made it his own, admittedly, but I think that's the opportunity.

For legal reasons. Yeah. Well, I think we all know what we're going to wear for Halloween now. It's going to be Jim Sterling with, like, this zombie cock hanging out of his trousers. Well, it wouldn't hang, would it? It would just flush to the ground. Yeah, it would just float.

Waft. Just a baguette wrapped in parma ham. Oh, my. Oh, James. Bagu baguette he wishes do you think you pay by the yard work tops he's got a granite car so this week's episode is a bit of spaghetti sauce yes obviously so i'm pre-empting even more food to be ruined for the world I'm worried like he had one ball assigned for blue cum and the other just spits out ragu all the time pomodoro yeah exactly do you think it will be do you think it'll be pasta puttanesca which does mean horse pasta normally with the chapter titles you can get a kind of sense of where it's going to go this I'm

just baffled by but at the same time it doesn't have to be sexual it could just be that they go for pasta what should we find out let's let's go for once should we just not play the theme music again at the end we're done okay belinda blink to chapter 16 a bit of spaghetti sauce. Breakfast was a thoroughly American affair. So we're up. Next day. Yeah, next day.

Pancakes? What do you think? Pancakes? Pancakes, waffles, lots of maple syrup. Well, it was a thoroughly American affair. Maple syrup, beautifully overcooked crispy bacon. Oh, look at the burn on that. I love that char. Overcooked.

It's meant to be like that, Dan. It's not like poor culinary expertise. But we don't actually do bacon like the Americans. No, we don't. They do do it so it kind of just turns into like a bacon dust when you bite into it which is enviable it breaks if you drop it on the floor exactly shatters into a thousand pieces it's also very different isn't it very thin and yeah um like too crispy do you not like it no i prefer ours oh no i like it it's very patriotic james you know where you stand with a good cut of Danish. So not ours, then.

Oh, yeah. Very much Denmark. By name. So they have maple syrup, beautifully overcooked crispy bacon, eggs, and to die for, waffles. Jim's PA, Sydney, approached the girls. Hello, Sydney. Sydney, could be boy or girl. That's true. Like Poitier.

Very good. Hi, you must be Belinda. And you're Bella, said the extremely pretty and petite Sydney. So a girl. No, actually, it could still be a boy. What's extremely petite? Three five?

Linda Hunt sighed. If y'all finished eating, then just follow me to your first meeting. Oh my God. She sounds like Doris Day. I love her. Is that her catchphrase? If y'all finished eating Then just follow me To your first meeting Oh my god She sounds like Doris Day I love her Is that her catchphrase If y'all finished eating

Come follow me To your next meeting She's channelling Dolly Parton She wants to be a songstress Also when did you learn To do Southern American I've been practising This is your best accent so far

Thank y'all Okay If y'all finished eating Then just follow me To your first meeting Bella swigged down The last of her coffee I think you said If you are finished eating, then just file a media for his meeting. Bella swigged down the last of her coffee. I think he said the last of the maple syrup.

And with Belinda in tow, followed Sydney to the lifts. Once they were inside, Sydney delicately opened the top button of her blouse. What? Puffed out her cheeks and punched the 12th floor button. Which cheeks? Puffed out her cheeks? What if she went, no, punched her cheeks out? As if to say, what a

day. At 9am. Yeah, hasn't even started. But I will repeat, which cheeks? Because you can puff either out. Puffed out her cheeks and punched the 12th floor button. Sorry it's so hot in here, Gaz. Which cheeks? Because you can puff either out. Puffed out her cheeks. And punched the 12th floor button. Sorry it's so hot in here, guys.

I'll get maintenance in as soon as I deliver you to your first meet. I'm genuinely wowed by the accent. I want him to read the whole book in this accent. It's actually quite hard to do. What's happened in a week? Because I feel like I can say it now because we're a safe distance away you were fucking shit i know i was really bad i do want to apologize to all of our american listeners i think they enjoyed it i think they've enjoyed how terrible it was but i also love with this accent comes a hand on the hip yeah it's real sass isn't it who's he channeling

have you got an itinerary for us sy Sydney. You know, a schedule. Said Belinda. Patronising fucking bitch. No, said Belinda in a professional tone of voice. No, she didn't. Who doesn't know what an itinerary is? That's Belinda's first attempt at like professionalism. Also, do the Americans say schedule and we say schedule or is it the other way around?

Because that might have caused some confusion there. They say schedule, I think. Oh no. No, we say we say schedule don't we i've forgotten what i say i say calendar she was obviously a bit miffed sydney had stopped at the first blouse button and had then quickly punched the 12th stop saying punched the 12th it's just smacking the buttons no wonder they always need maintenance out. Stop punching the fucking buttons. Sorry, Belinda. Well, I sure have. Sydney passed over a pale blue folder to each of them.

Oh, she's like, reminds me of last night. Flashbacks, flashbacks. Of all the folder colours in all the world, you happen to give me this. Two seconds later, Bella let out a little sigh of triumph. What's a sigh of let out a little sigh of triumph. What's a sigh of triumph? What's up, Bella? Belinda asked. Not to offend, but I'm dining with Jim tonight. Are you with us,

Belinda? Belinda quickly looked down at the page, turned it over and shook her head. She couldn't understand it. She was completely free from 6pm. She wasn't shagging anybody. She's been jolted. I mean, talk about a lucky escape. I'd be like, thank God for that. No, but don't you think that's a review of last night's activities?

Yeah, exactly. She didn't get 10 out of 10. No, he enjoyed it. He went in twice. Mate, that doesn't mean that he enjoyed it. Went. Yeah, exactly. She didn't get 10 out of 10. No, he enjoyed it. He went in twice. Mate, that doesn't mean that he enjoyed it. Went in twice, James. She was completely free

from 6pm. No. I'm free all evening. Well, said Bella, gives you an opportunity to catch up on a good night's sleep. That's true. She will be knackered.

She's rubbing salt in the wound. Bitch though, yeah. Now that's the bitchy comment. This is prestige dinner even if you think that jim is a fucking walking train wreck you have to admit that this is an important and powerful meet and or greet we don't know yet it's the only reason that they're in the bloody country, so... Yeah, she's not invited to the dinner she's come for. I bet she's regretting inviting Bella now. Yeah, because we always knew she'd muscle in on the business. She'd probably go set up on her own rival business.

Bella's pots and pans. Do we know Bella's last name? Don't know. Oh, yeah. I don't think we do. The lift stopped and Sydney ushered the two girls through to a meeting room. Mr. Sterling will be John Yow shortly, along with his chief executive, Hank Skank.

Pardon? Skank. Hank Skank. Hank Skank. Hank Skank. Hank Skank. Hanky Panky Skanky. Hank Skank. Widow Twanky? Hank Skank?

Widow Twanky? Who is it? Who is Hank Skank? Let's read on and find out. Mr. Sterling will be giant y'all shortly with his chief executive, Hank Skank. He's the chief executive and his name is Hank Skank. She informed them.

How are you spelling Skank? Like I imagine with a K at both ends. S-K-A-N-K. Skank. She informed them. How are you spelling skank? Like I imagine with a K. S-K-A-N-K. Skank. With that, Sydney left, returning to her duties on the 19th floor. Oh, it all happens on the 19th. It always goes down on the 19th, doesn't it?

Oh. Belinda had heard of this Hank Skank. Really? Because we haven't. She's never mentioned it. First we've heard. He was reputed to be a hardball type of guy. And with a name like that, you could why i can't understand why he's got a ridiculous name i imagine he'd be really really teased at school if he's called hank of swedish descent oh lovely he was a second

generation immigrant it's not ellis island why do we care move on blue eyes blonde hair and a lean stature oh james he's got a bit of the rouse about him actually that is a description of your kind of dream guy what arian essentially you've just outed yourself then more to the point he reputedly had no problem in telling jim where to stick his ass if he felt a wrong decision was being made by the owner. Not a phrase. You can go stick your ass. Go stick your ass in that bucket. And where would you stick it?

Stick your ass. Hank Skank is already my favourite new character. It was starting to look like it was as essential to win him over as it had been jim five minutes later jim and hank entered the room hank skank hank skank oh yeah sure the very same hank introduced himself and jim asked him what he was doing that evening hello ladies i'm hank skank what are you doing tonight? Let me finish my introduction. The usual, GM. Out with the high rollers.

Why'd you ask? How old is Hank Skank? I thought he was young and, like, beautiful. Look, he is who he is. He is whoever comes out of my mouth. I have no control over what comes out of my mouth. Hank Skank just went down in my estimation. Give Jamie a break.

Like, he's got five or six voices to juggle in this character, in this chapter already. It's really hard. In this character. Honestly, we'll hear five or six within this person. The usual, GM. Out with the high rollers. Why do I ask?

Well, I've got a business appointment with Bella on some paperwork protocols. We need a setup between the two companies. So I would appreciate if you could take Belinda under your wing, so to speak. Good, if you're Bella, you'd be like, I thought we were going to have sex, not sign some papers. It's all about the protocols. Isn't it?

What does protocol mean? She really thought she was going to get a fun night, didn't she? Yeah. Why, sure, Jim. Belinda, that would be an honour Can you get yourself To my office For 6.30

And we can go Catch a game At the stadium When is Hank Skank's Voice going to break Catch a game At the stadium Catch a generic game

At the generic stadium Whichever sport Texans like to watch No not generic The crankies are in town The crankies The generic stadium. Whichever sport Texans like to watch. No, not generic. The Crankies are in town. The Crankies? As in the Crankies?

As in the little man and the little woman? I don't know. The Crankies are doing their biggest ever stadium tour. It doesn't say Crankies. It does. The Crankies are in town. And Ron and Nancy have promised me tickets. Who's Ron and Nancy?

Who are these people? Is that ronald reagan and nancy reagan oh probably yes the reagan of course the reagan oh my god it is set in the 80s what's happening i'm pretty sure they're both dead the reagans no didn't they have mobile phones it can't be the 80s surely wait none of them have had mobile phones none of them have had laptops if she goes to a phone box in the next chapter... I die. Honestly, they sent a fax. It's actually the 80s. Yeah, no one's ever texted her, have they?

No, it's not, because she's going to go and perform at the O2. Oh. Maybe that's a thing that Rocky thought he made up. Yeah, maybe. No, he's seen Coldplay there. Oh, sure. So wait, the Crankies are playing their biggest gig yet. They're all going to go.

Only the two of them are going to go. Because Ron and Nancy sorted them out. So wait, you either support the Mets, the Yankees, or the Crankies are playing their biggest gig yet. They're all going to go. Only the two of them are going to go. Because Ron and Nancy sought them out. So wait, you either support the Mets, the Yankees or the Crankies. Is that right? The Mets, the Jets or the Crankies. Go Crankies. The Crankies are in town and Ron and Nancy have promised me tickets. Don't worry.

It's soccer, you know. Football to you guys. So you'll enjoy it No problem with a fourth ticket Ron owns the place What the fuck Honestly I don't even know where to start When do we think they're going to have sex

Before or after the big game Something will definitely happen in the office Oh do you reckon Yeah before they go You can't have sex at the crankies No that's true it's disrespectful They're so going to have sex in the stadium. In the bleachers.

That's terminology that Rocky definitely doesn't know. Like Grease. A blowy in the bleachers. Oh my God. Is that a song? It should be. Is that a bumper sticker? That's definitely from Grease.

Yeah, surely. Are the Crankies like universally known? Should we? I don't think so. Do we need to contextualise for international listeners? Maybe we do. How do you contextualize they're weird how would you sum them up they were a scottish comedy duo with a man and a woman who played a small school boy i think i've i think i've done it how it's not still a huge success i'll never know

no problem with the fourth ticket. Ron owns the place. Wow, Hank, that's great. I love seeing a few balls being kicked around. I'll be there on time. It doesn't even work as an innuendo. You don't kick balls around. She does. That's settled, said Jim. You and Bella had better not be late. Yes, sir, replied an extremely relieved Bella. She didn't like pulling rank over Belinda, but Jim had played it perfectly.

Oh, so she thinks that he's planned it so they can spend the evening together. He's so going to pull out a sheaf of papers when she gets there. She's going to be gutted. Is that what you call it? Is it now a sheaf of papers? Just a ratty sheaf of papers. Just a ratty sheath of papers. Sometime later, Hank was sat opposite Belinda in a very discreet and

quiet Italian restaurant. Here we go. Too bad the crankies got beat. Oh, God. Wow. What? Oh, that builder. I guess they won't have sex at either the office

or the game or anywhere in between. Too bad the Crankies got beat. But as they say, you can't win them all. Belinda nodded. I would have liked to hear a bit more about the Crankies game. It's a shame we've skipped it so quickly. Well, that is Flintstone. It's soccer, James.

You'd fully understand it. Yeah. Belinda that is Flintstone. It's soccer, James. You'd fully understand it. Yeah. Belinda nodded and waited. She'd established during the football match that Hank was attracted to her, but he hadn't made any physical moves on her. That's not like Belinda or any other man that's near her. Yeah.

She also didn't want to manipulate the situation. This guy was a tough dude. I imagine Belinda's wearing a backwards cap when she has that thought. This guy's a tough dude. And by being a bit too over-familiar, she could ruin the whole sterling deal. Of course she couldn't, as I'm sure we're all thinking, because the deal is done. The deal was done weeks ago, if not months ago. The deal has gone down.

But also like a shag in the world of Belinda Blink is not going to ruin any deal. In anything, it's going to like seal it harder. Yeah. Ew. It was best for him to make the running, if there was any running to be made. Belinda just waited. For how long was she silent at the dinner table? Two books.

Well, quite. Playing it cool, though. She's not normally this gameplay. She normally just puts it out there straight away. So by her not wanting to be manipulating, she's being the most manipulative she's ever been. Oh my God, yeah. This is like proper gameplay.

This is like when you're dating someone and you get a WhatsApp and you don't read it straight away. So you don't get the two blue ticks. You just keep it grey. Isn't it so great when it pops up on your home screen so you've not actually read it? But you have. Yes.

So good. Apparently now you can like turn it off so that everything appears unread forever. So no one knows when you were last online or what you've read and what you haven't. How do you do that? I don't know. Someone did it to me once. They were ghosting me at the same time. So it's entirely possible

they just didn't read my messages but have you ever been ghosted no that's pretty gutting yeah happens quite a lot for you

it's happened a few times to me people just stop talking to me so is that where you're chatting to someone it's all going fine

and then one day they just never reply ever again yeah and you have no you're like what have I done and I presume it's called ghosting

because it's like they've died and turned into a ghost is that why it's called that i hope you just disappear there you go honestly the politics of it alice i'll have to teach you so what do you do then you're obviously quite the teacher how many times do you try and get back in touch maybe you give it once but don't do it more than once like take the hint we have a friend when texting used to be a thing she'd always say never double green never never double green what's double green oh i see yeah yeah oh my god on tinder once i i was on a night out and i'd matched with someone and i woke up the next morning with a message from them

and it was like hey handsome and i was like oh hi how's it going so i like thought i'll text him back so i just wrote a message like oh hey how's how's it going? Sent it. I was like, hang on, why is his message blue and why is my message blue? I was in a conversation with myself. Oh God, no! I called myself handsome and then replied to it! I had to unmatch immediately, it was so embarrassing. I can't even look at you.

And you wonder why you get ghosted. Shame! Jesus. Oh God. I'm not sure you're why you get ghosted. Shame. Jesus. Oh, God. I'm not sure you're ready to have your own mobile phone. Seriously. Be honest. When was the last time you thought about your current business insurance policy?

Here's the thing. If your business insurance coverage renews on autopilot each year without checking out zensurance.com, you're probably spending more than you need. That's why you need to switch to a low-cost policy from Zensurance. Zensurance does all the heavy lifting. Thank you. The waiter handed out menus and Belinda chose a seafood starter followed by spaghetti bolognese oh my goodness so this is where it gets its moniker

this chapter do you think it'd be Lady and the Tramp style? oh that would be nice a bit of romance finally well what if she drops a bit on like her shoulder and she doesn't notice and he like licks it off later in the middle of passion? Or she drops, like, a meatball down there and he goes, go find it.

Very, very good choice, Belinda. Spaghetti bolognese is so basic. Classic. And mad at Ed, a very brave one. What? Maybe because he thinks, like, it could, like... Oh, it's not date food, is it? Yeah, it can kind of, like of spatter all over you a bit.

It's the classic splash. Sure. Splash back. So to speak. These guys do the best spaghetti sauce in all of Texas. In fact, I'm going to join you. How boring when a couple order the same thing. So boring.

Hank ordered a carafe of Chianti house white to go with the seafood and his favourite red, a big traditional Chianti with the bolognese. You don't tend to order all of your wine at the beginning of the night and queue it all up. Also, carafe, cheap fucking skate. Order a bottle. And mixing red and white is never a good idea. Not cool. Even though I have done it this evening.

Oh yeah, so it's... Now, where were we? Hank's hand settled on Belinda's knee. Belinda calmly took it and moved it higher and under. To the undercarriage. Touching the meatball. Oh God.

Oh God. Oh, hang on. I think he's put a comma in the wrong place. Oh, classic. Belinda calmly took it and moved it higher and under. Her evening gown, utilising the long slit in its centre. My favourite thing is the misplaced commas.

Such drama. Belinda calmly took it and moved it higher and under. Her evening gown, utilising the long split in its centre. You don't usually have a split in the centre. It's usually side split, usually. But there are central splits. I bet it comes really riskily close to her groin. Do you think?

Oh, yeah. I think we were discussing spaghetti, Hank. She's such a robot. Good answer, Belinda. And what's smooth skin? He just keeps trying to deflect it back to like sexy talk. And she's like, I believe we were talking about what to order from the nibbles part of the menu. Also, smooth skin beats flaky skin, doesn't it?

Any day of the week. Belinda slowly raised her hand to the clasp at the top of her gown. As she undid it, the material fell to each side. Of her body? In a restaurant, again, she thinks it's a freaking changing room. As she undid it, the material fell to each side, still nicely retained by her erect nipples, but letting her cleavage show.

So her nipples are being used as kind of... As pins. As coat hooks. So gross. Hank sat back in his chair his eyes still fixed on belinda's chest and removed his hand from her thigh as the way to serve the first course oh i see yeah behave yourself now there's a waiter guys oh what it was needless to say delicious i love everything just like an event happens, but all we hear about is the aftermath. It's a fantastic restaurant, needless to say.

It's got 3.8 on TripAdvisor. They quickly finished the white and Hank got Belinda ready for the big red he had ordered. How did he get her ready? Did he have rubber belly? Oh, you're going to love this. Burped her. Patted her back, yeah.

Got her a straw. He felt his pants tighten in the groin region. And he knew he was going to enjoy his bolognese sauce. What, he got turned on by his bolognese? He got an actual hard-on because of tomato sauce. Minutes later, the waiter served the spaghetti and left the sauce for Hankank to dish out that's quite an unusual way to serve spaghetti it's gonna be just plain dry pasta they're just like a bowl of

sauce hard pasta it's like bring your own ball water thank you hank took the big ladle and served belinda twirled the spaghetti with her fork like the professional she was. Professional what? Pasta eater? Professional fork user. She's a professional forker. She can wield a fork like no other. I love that she's congratulating herself on using adult cutlery.

It's like, I'm not using my fingers like I used to do with my spaghetti. Belinda twirled the spaghetti with her fork like the professional she was. Dunked it in the sauce. Dunked it? Why is it so separate? And got stuck in. You know, it's not a fondue. Once Hank had assuaged his appetite

and poured them both two more bottles of red wine into one glass. They only had a carafe. Where's he getting all the bottles from? He stared at Belinda. He had an interesting technique and one Belinda was keen to bring back to Europe. Though perhaps not for use inside a,

by now, busy Italian trattoria. Don't call it a trattoria. It's just called a restaurant. Oh, come on, it's a cafe if it's anything. Hank quietly ripped Belinda's evening gown. In two. In two. Completely exposing her thighs and pussy.

Oh, God. It's all happening so quickly. But didn't remove it. He then. So, wait. In two. So, it's. She's now wearing it as a waistcoat.

Yeah. Essentially. No, that's in one. No, like in two, like to the back as well. So now she's wearing it as what, two sleeves? Yeah. Essentially. Sure.

He then took the ladle and trickled the now cooled sauce over Belinda's breast. Oh, for God's sake. Watching it slowly make its way down to her navel. Like two heaving calzone. This is so inappropriate in a restaurant. This is essentially a family run, family friendly restaurant that they've gone to. It doesn't sound like it's particularly posh.

She's head to toe probably by now, by the time it's taken me to finish the sentence, she'll be coated head to toe naked. Covered in tomato sauce. But it's not even just tomato sauce, it's mince. With beef bits in it. With beef bits. That meatball.

After about two minutes, it stopped and pooled at her shaven vagina. Oh my God. Talk about meat flaps. Sorry, Alison. Nobody was talking about meat flaps. Once he had a big enough reservoir, he carefully opened her vaginal lids. And what, dropped a little spiral of spaghetti in there?

And let the sauce do its work. Oh, my God. It's going to be like a taco. Fucking hell. Jesus. No, because Alice, one of our friends uses the taco emoji as a vagina do you know that that's a sexy emoji so you obviously know that the aubergine is a sexy emoji right so a boy

sends somebody the aubergine emoji and that's like you're keen and then you send back if you're keen if you're a girl the taco emoji because that's like i'd love to go for it and then you send them together in one and it's like yeah this is on is on. This is on. Also, you know, the dancing lady in the red dress emoji. I always use that for Belinda. I think that is Belinda in an emoji. If there was no dress, for sure. Shit, it's her covered in spaghetti sauce. Yes.

Belinda studied the operation closely. Did it require just gravity? Or was it the sauce that did the flowing of its own accord? She decided to question hank later on this technical matter later it's always best to ask in the moment hank slightly pushed back the table got onto his knees and licked belinda clean oh my god they're in the middle of a restaurant there's nothing less appropriate. Also, clean. Clean.

What does that mean in this context? Also, you're not clean with loads of saliva all over you. I'm sorry. Like a murder scene. You're not a cat. You're when a cat's mum licks the babies. Horrid. Horrid. Do you think she dabs it with a napkin afterwards?

Like when you dab the sides of your mouth, she just dabs the sides of her vagina. And just goes, bon appetit. Finished. He made no sexual advance whatsoever. That was a sexual advance. He's licking tomato sauce out of her vagina. He was hungry.

No sexual advance Apart from the duties his tongue had made to Belinda Thank fuck There was certainly now no need for a body massage The next day or so she thought What? He's gone deep tissue inside with his tongue Oh my god

That's skills However She was careful to compliment Hank on his capacity for genital duties, something she hadn't expected from a very senior exec. Genital duties. Clean as a whistle. She won't need to douche now.

Oh my God. Oh. Oh, James. No, she will, definitely. Yeah, like if anyone's in need of a cheer out. If anyone needs to douche, it's Belinda immediately, please. Belinda to aisle three. Oh, God.

Why, thank you, Belinda. I guess it was all those vacation jobs I did when I was a student. Now, let's pass up on the dessert. Order some real Italian sausage and we'll eat it back at your room. What, they're just going to munch on some sausage when they get back to the hotel? Oh my god.

When do you ever pass up on the dessert and go back to the sausage course? If you'll pardon my French. Seafood, bolognese, then Italian sausage for dessert Ideal Belinda fiddled with her dress Making it decent for the taxi ride back to the hotel

What's she done? Tied it together with some napkins Also, heaven forbid the taxi driver sees her naked Let alone all the patrons in the restaurant A group of Japanese tourists have just watched a man Eat his dinner out of her pussy. Do you think they think that's a custom? Do you think they were taking pictures of it? Like, yeah, this is great.

They all start doing it to their housekeepers. It's an American tradition. Housekeeping. Oh, God. Belinda fiddled with her dress, making it decent for the taxi ride back to the hotel, whilst Hank ordered the sausage and two more bottles of wine. Jesus. Belinda was bemused and thought,

things were not going at all to plan with this very strange man. This is so far off plan. She shouldn't even still be referring to the plan, really. It was looking like he was one of those rare breeds. Someone who made sex through the use of food. Made sex? Shall we make sex? With the use of food.

I have sausage. We make sex now. Everyone's a rare breed. Remember Alphonse is a rare breed because he was a voyeur. Everyone's just a stupid rare breed. Peter Rye is a rare breed because he was a voyeur. Everyone's just a stupid rare breed. Peter Riles is a rare breed because he's batshit. Dr. Robbins is a rare breed because he should

genuinely be in an institution. How exciting and somewhat unusual. What else would she learn tonight? Some common sense is all I hope for. Hank softly shut Belinda's hotel room door behind them. He took the package of hot sausage

and laid it on its silver foil wrapping on the bedside table. So then she and you were looking to eat the sausage before they have sex. Why so much sausage, Jack? But the thing is, though, that is a thing, isn't it? People do use food as like an aphrodisiac. No, not hot sausage. Precisely. Rarely cold cuts.

Rarely meat products. I think it's probably like oysters. Chocolate. Chalk. A bit of chalk. Pomegranates even. Even. Anything's better than hot sausage.

Next, he took Belinda's ass in his hands. Oh, there we go. You sure are a pretty one, Belinda, he murmured. Can I strip you and fuck you? Oh, God! Strip you and fuck you. Strip you and fuck you. Strip you and fuck you.

Sausage. Can I strip you and fuck you? Hank, you are so skillful with that bolognese sauce i'd love to experience what your big waffle could do to me oh god why is it all so foodie this chapter it is a food themed chapter rocky was hungry he's read something or he's hungry or he's like watched a documentary about food production and he's just got overexcited. Hank grinned and removed his clothes. He liked girls who could talk dirty.

She said waffle. Yeah, we all calmed down. With one hand, he ripped Belinda's evening gown off her. That's not impressive, it's in two halves completely naked belinda stretched herself out onto the same bed where jim sterling had test drove his new cock just the previous night brilliant if mattresses could talk i just want to give belinda a hug why she's having a great time i wouldn't be my friend always says chapter for the book and i think that's what belinda's thinking she's like my autobiography is going to be a best seller i mean it's not because we're reading it oh yeah and it's not what's the point then

belinda took hank's hand and offered him another piece of italian sausage it's really hot she carved it on the side what's happening he wolfed it down and stuck his rising cock into belinda's vagina. Rising. Rising. I feel like he just sat in the same place and it grew like a beanstalk. She moaned softly. Hank belched.

Alice is good at that. Oh, wait. Oh, my God. That is disgusting. That's a talent. You're just jealous, so. Take that one to the bank, Al. So she moaned softly, Hank belched,

and stuffed another piece of Italian into his mouth whilst fucking Belinda hard. So he's shagging him and he's like scoffing the salami. Please don't shag with your mouth full. Honestly. It's rude, it's rude. It's really rude. He's going to get indigestion.

Belinda now had Hank where she wanted him. And she was going to prolong his experience. Besides, he had another two pieces of succulent yet substantial sausage still to go. Oh my God. Stop talking about the sausage. Wrap up the sausage and put it away. Like, he's distracted. I'm worried where he's going to put the sausage away though.

No, but don't tell me it didn't cross your mind. Yeah. He was a tall man who played hardball in his business affairs. Well, Belinda would play hardball with him in her arena. A sexual arena. Yeah, we got it.

The like of which he had never encountered before. Honestly, that bed is like a fucking coliseum. Many a battle has happened there. Men have fought and men have died are you not entertained and that is the end of the chapter

stop anyone else hungry honestly I could go anything from a linguine to a chorizo exactly any cold cuts any any hot sausage for that matter gnocchi maybe no oh james only knows one food god bless him he had gnocchi last night for the first time it's delicious i have to say like using food like because we've often compared food to belinda blinked but i think this is the first time that dad's done it and a lot of people say that they think belinda could be played by nigella

lawson in the film yeah she'd have the great knowledge exactly she'd know what to do with that sausage hank skank as far as i'm concerned has gone down in the history books of belinda blink in the annals of history if you will oh yeah well we only have one chapter left to find out what belinda's gonna do with him no what plans are, what her plans are. How is this going to be rectified? Hang on. One chapter left. What is going to happen? She hasn't even had a meeting with Jim Sterling.

No, she had a meet and greet. She barely had a meet and greet. Was that the meet and greet? That was me. Okay. So she flew to Texas to sign on the dotted line and make sure this contract was 100% done. What has she done with the time she's been there

for about 36 hours well she saw the crankies she had some lovely hash browns some overcooked bacon those waffles got fucked by a flaky penis and had bolognese sauce down i'm not saying she hasn't been busy the eventful trip and she met sydney oh well of course sydney lovely sydney quite the itinerary that's a schedule for those that don't know. So you've got to come back next week for the finale of Belinda Blink 2. Oh, my God. We could never have imagined that this would be such a big thing. This is like the finale of, you know, proper shows.

Game of Thrones. This is Game of Thrones level, for sure. But I feel like it's going to be massively underwhelming, whatever happens. How dare you, James Cooper? It's Rocky Flintstone. You wash your mouth out. Wouldn't it be great if everyone got their friends together for the final episode to listen? Like, had a little listening party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What will people need? I guess lots of chili and chardonnay. Virginia and Tony. Of course. Maybe you could dress up as your favourite character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could wear just a thong,

or if you're a bit more prudish, thongs beneath. I'd love it if people took pictures of their party and sent them to us as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tag us on Instagram, actually, at mydadwroteur. Yeah, let's make this a huge event let's make this is the super bowl of porn who's gonna be the halftime show what's the chapter called a hot afternoon at the lazy

pea ranch now if that doesn't get you excited i I don't know what will. Stop what you are doing and download that as soon as it comes out. I have to go and have a lie down because that is too brilliant. Yeah, come on. Let's go and get a snack. Mine's a taco. Famously not. Mr. Aubergine. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? We'll be right back. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the I'm-too-small-for-this mindset hold you back from protecting yourself. Zinsurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month.

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