My Dad Wrote A Porno - S4E8 - 'Cricklewood Pumping Station'

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

Spooner's investigation delves into Giselle's past...and her vagina. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this, you're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Hello and welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porno. I've got Alice and James. Hi guys, how are you? Yeah, good. Good. Nice one.

Nice one. Nice one. Shall we get on with it? Shall we get on with it? Oh, really? I'm in a really annoying mood. Yeah, really looking forward to today. Why are you copying me?

What are you... Oh, for fuck's sake, really? What are you doing? I don't know. James, let's just ignore her for five minutes. But you went home this week, right? I did. I had a lovely time. I had two dinners with tapas.

I had more tapas in one day than I knew what to do with. It is the traditional food of Nottingham. I wanted to take my friend once to Nando's and she was like, oh, I don't want to go to Nando's. I had a bad experience there. I was like, oh, fine. Who has a bad experience at Nando's? Whatever. And I said to her later on, I was like, so what was your bad experience at Nando's and she's like oh I don't want to go to Nando's I had a bad experience there I was like oh fine who has a bad experience at Nando's whatever and I said to her later on I was like so what was your bad experience at Nando's and she was like oh well once I went to Nando's and

had half a chicken and then I went home and I had another half chicken I was like your bad experience at Nando's is that you ate too much chicken in a day so it's a really shit story wait say it again say the punchline again. Punchline. Why is it going to be you? She said, well, I had... Hang on. So she had a piece of chicken? Wait, you tell your punchline. Do your punchline. So then we were eating later on,

and I said, so what was your bad experience at Nando's? Go on, dead it out. Sorry. So then we found somewhere else to eat, and I said, well, what was your bad experience at nando's and she was like well sorry it's really making me laugh now that makes one of us so it's a better story in my head it's a very sad story um so just just to clarify um so it's a story about love and loss yeah love loss and poultry brilliant okay um so just for change

what happened last week because i don't actually remember um it was copier blues of course you don't you never do oh yeah yeah yeah spooner was investigating bella if you remember correctly obsessed with spooner yeah the um the photocopier broke yes't it Yes But then Oh I remember he got caught in Belinda's office Oh fuck yes By Giselle Yeah Yes And didn't have a cover story because he's shit

Yeah yeah yeah Well hopefully that's where we're going to pick up I doubt it I do too Remind me what the chapter's called It's called Cricklewood Pumping Station Cricklewood's a real place Yes Does it have a pumping station I've no idea Cricklewood Pumping Station. Cricklewood's a real place.

Yes. Does it have a pumping station? I've no idea. And why are we going there if it does? Where is it for international listeners' purposes? It's east of London. Is it in East London? I don't know.

North? Northeast? Maybe. I can hear James Googling. It's kind of Northwest London. Okay, so I couldn't have been more wrong Yeah It's near Hampstead Oh nice

Oh yeah Very nice It's weird because it's within London but I've genuinely never thought of it as a place Yeah or been there

I'd love it if Rocky knows two locations in London Cricklewood Pumping Station and the Ritz Okay let's do it Belinda Blinked 4 Chapter 8

Cricklewood Pumping Station. I'm terribly sorry, miss. I'm new. Great cover. Great cover. The classic I'm new line. I'm lost. I just wandered in here.

I'm looking for Cricklewood Pumping Station. Is this not the Ritz? Miss Blumenthal has been complaining about her computer being slow. So why has she hired a professional tennis player to fix it? Oh no, so you're not Andy Murray. You're, sorry, I keep getting reviews. I'm Spooner. Spooner.

Giselle smiled. Of course. I'm not surprised. Typical. Just like her lovers. God, he slipped out of that one quickly, didn't he? Well, a member of the Glee team, possibly the easiest person to fool. That's true, yeah. Ah, I remember. James Spooner. IT specialist, isn't it? Yeah. I remember remember he started today Oh cast my mind back

Four hours New sexy men immediately go on the radar though don't they Is he sexy have we verified whether he's attractive or not I reckon he is he's a dashing spy is he not And also the scotch very sexy IT specialist isn't it Yeah a six month contract if I remember rightly. Oh, come on.

Again, it happened today. Yes, computers and all that rubbish. You see, many professionals opt to keep their PC machines running for months on end, never physically shutting them down. I believe this is the case here. He is a specialist. Thus, I'm going to give this here computer a little break. He's right, though.

Like, in my office at work, everyone leaves their computer on overnight. I think it's awful for the environment. Yeah. I've left my laptop on for about 10 years. And that's why it's dead. It's very hot. I have to put a cushion on my lap. Does it make the fan like...

It works. Yeah, you, right. You know what he's doing there? He's thinking, this is so boring, she's just going to switch off and walk away. Right. But also, he's basically saying, so what I'm going to do is the old switch it off, switch it on again, but just not switch it on again. Yeah. He's just giving it a rest.

I'm sure that's not a computational term. A little break. A wee break. Thus, I'm going to give this here computer a little break. Now, I can either delete some programs Miss Blumenthal isn't using, or I can shut her down for a couple of seconds to minutes. Rocky's clearly an IT man. He knows how to use a computer. This is great PC knowledge. Now, if this doesn't work, then it could be infected with a spot of malware. A spot of? Why is he talking like a TV chef? A spot of this, a dash of that? My stepdad always gets malware on his computer.

He thinks he's so IT literate, but he'll just click any link in any email. Any pornographic link. Anything. Any penis extending apparatus. Click. And then he wonders why his bank account gets raided. No, if this doesn't work, then it could be infected with a spot of malware that doesn't have such a simple solution and would need to be looked at in more detail i also love how rocky's trying to show off his like it knowledge the man can't send a tweet and yet he knows about malware oh he can oh james you know

that's not true no but he always retweets and then replies. Like, he doesn't realise he's, like, retweet replying and not just replying. I actually don't get that either, so can you teach me and Rocky that at the same time? Giselle, delicately blushed. She hadn't quite expected the hunk that James Spooner was. Oh, so he is a hunk. A spindly, weedy type of IT nerd was somehow more acceptable yeah the it lot will get a bit of a bad rep don't they yeah yeah it is it people who always get a bad rep but

there's a floor in my office which isn't it right but it's just full of unusual circus types do you spot them as they get off the lift? What do you mean? Well like I call them the tours Because they always get off at floor two Are you really going to say what floor they're on? They've all got like One tooth Or they look like they've cut their own hair

What are you talking about? Where do you work? This isn't a thing All of them on the same floor What's on floor two? They're so unusual I don't know I actually don't know what they've got going on down there

Investigates it immediately What are they releasing onto floor two That means everyone's unusual. I don't know. I actually don't know what they've got going on down there. Investigates it immediately. What are they releasing onto floor two that means everyone's teeth fall out? And the funny thing is my pass doesn't work for floor two, so I can't investigate. Is that true? Okay, that's suspicious. So wait, what sexy floor are you on? Seven. Oh, I've got rooftop views nearly.

Oh. Nearly. Nearly. Rooftop views nearly. There's actually another three floors above me Okay So what have you got? Just all the gubbins you can see can you? All the pipes and stuff

I can see the British Museum I'm really pinpointing my office here aren't I? This is great I cannot wait for you to go to work tomorrow Shout out to the tours I'm Mrs Sylvester You can call me Giselle You know

The managing director's PA and wife. And then? Yeah, butter me up, bitch. Fucking hell. Spooner got up and gently shook Giselle's hand. I'm actually here to drive you to the pentra for your meeting with the glee team. Meet you in reception at five. Surely she's too busy

to be ferrying him around. I think she's going to the pentra too. Yeah, she's in the glee team. I don't know if you remember that. Why are you being such an arse? Why are you being such an arse? Don't. Don't. Piece of shit.

Piece of shit. Meet you in the... Jamie, tell him. Jamie, tell him. Jamie, tell him. Jamie, tell him. James, stop it. Sorry.

It's a compliance. That's where I am. Spooner nodded his understanding, got up and left the room with his heart beating rather more rapidly than he'd liked. I thought he already got up to shake a hand. Did he get up, shake a hand, sit back down? It's customary.

Get up again. All IT people do that. IT people do sit down a lot because you are at a desk. So maybe you get lightheaded if you stand up too much. I feel really bad because IT people are going to get really mad. Is my work computer not going to work when I go back? Oh my God. This Giselle creature was definitely his sort of thing.

After all, Belinda and Bella were quite robust sort of creatures, but this Giselle, she was sort of a racehorse against a pair of mules. Oh my God, cheeky bastards. You can't say that. And I thought it was bad talking about the tours. Yeah, exactly. So what, she's lean and leggy and what, they're bloody goat meat. Mules.

Mules is so offensive. A couple of old donkeys. That's also not how I think of them. No, I thought they were quite attractive. I think Rocky thinks everyone in these books is attractive. No one else does, but Rocky certainly does. But maybe Giselle just like really, really fit. Yeah, I always remember her being lean and tanned and, you know, your stereotypical good-looking woman.

Like a supermodel. Yeah, I mean, she is based on Giselle, right? Oh, Bündchen. But how does Rocky know about Giselle Bündchen? I don't think he does. He's got a little special file in his computer, which he turns off every night. Spooner's clinical mind clicked into operational mode.

Espionage music started playing in his head. No, I do that. You know when you're like, you ever done walking down the road and like just play a song in your head? No, just me. Right. Or when you're like playing lightsabers walking down the road and like, just play a song in your head? No, just me. Great. Or when you're like playing lightsabers and you make the lightsaber noise.

Oh, yes. When did you last play lightsabers? You can't help yourself. You're like. It's fun. Spooner's clinical mind clicked into operational mode. Espionage music started playing in his head as he bounded down the staircase to reception. No lifts for him.

He was on the case. And his next interview was going to be, well, let's put it this way. What on earth was that? This is the pitfalls of recording at your house, James. Sorry, it's this street. This neighbourhood. Fucking hell. She wants her tea. She wants her tea bought some id no i'm pretty sure

she's just hungry and wants want some tea she's a level to her what do you call it she's a to her this is the two was around here mate well let's put it this way very interesting back in her office giselle removed her wedding ring from her finger. Stop it. Giselle, you've only been married for six chapters. And dropped it into her pencil tray. Because she fancies Spooner? I don't know.

Or because she's going to the Pentra in that standard behaviour? Her drive to the Pentra was going to be the long way round and would include passing a few reservoirs she knew. Is she going to kill off James Spooner and chuck him in a reservoir? No. I think either to impress him, although I don't know what's impressive about reservoirs, to try and get him all, like, horny. What, drive him round some reservoirs?

I don't know. It's a classic third date for James. Seems like there's a bird sanctuary and then we'll drive past some reservoirs. And then there's actually a dam, which is rather exciting. You joke, but his ex-boyfriend really liked birds did he yeah birds and bird sanctuaries what do you mean really liked them well he just knew all the birds by first name or by breed did you sometimes take him to reservoirs to impress him honestly if i did i'd be pregnant what cricklewood pumping station so they're going all the way to northwest london well to be fair he throws west london oh it is

yeah i suppose but it's west west that is quite a detour out your way yeah i mean that's a very very very long way around gis, not just the long way round. And also going away from the target. Yeah. However, before even starting the Jaguar,

Giselle had managed to lean over and instruct the very willing James as to where to insert his seatbelt. Is that a euphemism? No.

Oh. She let her breast tits touch... Sorry? She let her breast tits touch his waist and leg. Oh, I didn't make myself clear. Sorry? One or the other, Dad.

What's a breast tit? Or does he mean the breast tip? Well, it says tit. Oh, so she like leant over to help him in the seatbelt and like rubbed her boobs on his groin. Well, she let her breast tits touch his waist and leg as she did so, and made sure to brush his cock with her

left wrist. That's very confusing. She made sure to brush his cock with her wrist. It wasn't long before they had reached a secluded spot on the banks of Brent Reservoir. Oh my god, they're in Cricklewood. They've got to Cricklewood. Where's Brent?

That's the borough. Brent is the borough, yeah, the council. Giselle parked the car and looked at Spooner. Good day for ducks. Fancy a swim? In the reservoir? Can you swim in a reservoir? I think you can, but I would consult your local council for the health and safety regulations.

Spooner's eyes lit up. He knew this code all right he knew he wanted this woman what are we sure this is okay oh what because she's married or because he's a spy both yeah well i imagine her and tony in an open relationship and also why did she take off her wedding ring when she introduced herself as the wife of the m? Oh, yeah. That's usually to conceal that fact, isn't it? Maybe she didn't want to lose it in the reservoir. Oh, yeah. It was standard.

Yeah, fair dues. He knew he wanted this woman. She was hot. And the hotter he could make her, then the better she'd fuck. And the more innocent her answers would be to his subtle questioning technique. Oh, we already know he's in no way subtle. He's going to interview Wally's shagging her. So how long you worked here?

When were you last in Germany? What's the code to the photocopier? So gross. I'm worried how out of breath you get during sex. I don't like to talk normally. Good to know. The duo fumbled their clothes off. It's all dance with James.

He lets his body do the talking. And ran into the fresh water supply hand in hand, like the protagonists in some romantic novella. I'm pretty sure you can't get in a reservoir. Really? Well, isn't that drinking water? Yeah, but it gets filtered. I know, I know.

Put a cup in there. But I know what you mean about running in. I don't imagine there's a sandy beach bit where you just run into the water. Yeah. You'd have to launch off some man-made wall or something, wouldn't you? A dam.

A dam, if you will. Spoons let his cock assume its true position. Sorry, where's its true position? Maybe it stayed on the side of the reservoir. Oh, really? Do you think? I can't go in. That's not for me.

I don't get wet. Spoons let his cock assume its true position, whilst his dark-haired chest winked at Giselle. Hairy chest? It winked at her. I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. James is just really into Spooner for a minute. James, do you like a bit of Spooner? Well, he sounds pretty hot.

I mean, I don't like a really hairy chest, but a bit of a hairy chest is okay. Please me, Spooner. Oh, please, please me. Oh, God. It's that woman. I want my tea. She wants the D.

He entered her along with a good amount of water. Oh, my God, she's going to drown. Can it fill you up that way what do you mean from the vagina up oh james can you drown that way i don't think you can drown internally through the vagina no okay picture this you're at a picnic with pals and bam you suddenly feel unwell but going to the clinic not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes.

Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. In and out and out and in he went. Guys, I said this last week, we are at the pumping station. Is that why it's called the pumping station? Because they're pumping?

Oh, he's pumping, pumping for information. I'm pumping for the pump, pumping. So many meanings for pumping. Oh God, he's so clever, isn't he? It's grace, isn't it? Giselle started to intermittently gently scream. Gently scream? Intermittently gently scream.

So kind of like... As they writhed in the reservoir. This is going to be tricky because as James said earlier, probably quite a deep body of water, probably some obstacles. Where's your purchase? They've got no flotation devices. Just treading water trying to get some rhythm going. That's hard. Very hard.

Suddenly, a loud voice from the left bank interrupted the investigation. Oh my god, it's me! Oi! Oi! Get out of here! Oh my god, it totally is you. It's me! I'm enforcing the rules and regs, I'm in the box, yay! Oh my God, that is you being a Debbie Downer, just giving all of the old H&S's. Oi! Oi, get out of there! That's our drinking water, you wretched pair of rats!

I told you! And you're spying on me fishing! But we just said it's drinking water, so what, it's full of fish and fish poop? Well, I guess there'll be fish in there, will there? No, if it's drinking water, surely you don't want dead fish in it. No, but it gets purified down. It's essentially a pond, isn't it? It's like a lake.

If there's fish in there, you can have bodies in there. They can have a little swim in a shag, can't they, if it's going to get filtered? It's outrageous. What, you can get your shit in there as well? The thrashing couple looked up and saw an oldish fly fisherman in green wellies up to his waist.

But Spooner couldn't care a fuck. I couldn't care a flying fuck. But Spooner couldn't care a fuck and started to shag Giselle with greater zest. Get out! Out! Out! What is this sheep, man?

The fisherman started to wade into the reservoir, reeling back his rod. Is he going to catch them? Giselle and Spooner waded out of the water. They ran through the reeds and skipped over the barbed wire fence into an old, deserted, Victorian-esque but beautiful building of architectural integrity.

Oh, good. It was Victorian, but it was nice. No, Victorian-esque. So actually Victorian style. Oh, right, sure. But built last week. They ran up the spiral staircase that led all the way to the top of the statuesque chimney. And there they waited.

Why is Rocky getting such a boner over this building? Calm down. They've gone into the chimney. Or is it like a big chimney building? Well, I'm assuming this is Cricklewood Pumping Station. Oh yeah, I don't care.

Yeah. I've never seen a pumping station. Well, Google it. See what it looks like. Oh my God. A, it's real. Why does it come up with a second thing down, James? What's the second thing?

On the search term, James. Cricklewood Pumping Station Titanic. Oh, what? Very exciting. Oh my God. It is surrounded by barbed wire. That is a lovely building. Are they in there?

What the hell is this? That's like a tower. And also, I wouldn't say it's Victorian-esque. I would say it's Victorian. Fucking hell. I'm going to post that on Instagram. Oh yeah, I wouldn't say it's Victorian-esque. I would say it's Victorian. Fucking hell. I'm going to post that on Instagram. Oh, yeah. For reference.

I wouldn't look for them there either in that tower. Right. Spooner unlatched his leather ankle bracelet of charms. I'm sorry. Eh? His ankle bracelet of charms. He's got like a fucking utility ankle bracelet. With charms in it. I hate charms. Who has charms? a fucking utility ankle bracelet with charms in it

I hate charms who has charms who has an ankle bracelet oh they're not going to be charms are they they're going to be

James Bond style little bits of things that do things he's like a Batman utility belt but he's opted for the

oh fuck we've got the we've got the belt we've got the the men's bracelet or we've got the anklet.

I'll take the anklet, thank you. But James, who's looking a fool now? Because you wouldn't notice that as they're getting in, would you? I think it'd be the first thing I'd notice. No, you'd notice someone stark, bollock naked wearing a belt. Oh no, I never take this off, my leather belt. It holds my belly in. It's my cinching belt.

Do you fancy him less now? Now that he's wearing an anklet, I bet he's got one of those like yin-yang necklaces as well. Oh God, no. No, no, no, I'm not having it. I am not touching him. Spooner unlatched his leather ankle bracelet of charms and connected the top bit to the bottom bit

and then to the middle bit. Just say he connected it all. After a few minutes of assembly a few minutes there was a perfectly formed pair of miniature binoculars what a fucking waste of time transforms into binoculars i was hoping you would say into a car or into a helicopter or something a helicopter a car. A helicopter? A car? You'd be like, oh my God, we're set.

Oh, shit. It transformed into a second anklet. A beautiful pair of earrings. We can wear friendship anklets now. So stupid. It didn't transform. But why do they need binoculars? How nifty, Giselle mused.

Old Spoons must be a Boy Scout. Oh. Also totally giving the game away that you're a fucking spy when your jewellery turns into binoculars. Oh, fuck, yeah. That is the classic giveaway. Spooner looked out of the tower. He could see the oldish fisherman beating the reeds with his fishing rod.

He's not pursuing them. He doesn't give a shit. He just thinks they're two young lovers having a shag in a reservoir. Obviously in search of the nudist spoilers. Also, they're not miles away. He didn't need the binoculars in the first place. The binoculars aren't going to help. They're hiding in a dead end, essentially.

They're at the top of a chimney. I thought he was going to turn it into a little jetpack or something. A glider. Yeah, something that could get them down. A kite, essentially. We should probably wait a few wee moments for him to beat himself tired. Dearest Giselle. Works for me, proclaimed md's new wife as she opened her legs wide and

stuffed his face into a half open muff okay stuffed is not necessarily a word i would use half open muff is it like eating a muscle like if it's half open you you shouldn't really put your face you should discard it yeah he's gonna get He's going to get ill. He's going to get sick. Oh, no, deli belly. He's going to get muff poisoning. There, spoons slurped, and Giselle gagged for air. What? That's not her blowhole. That's not where she gets oxygen.

Don't say blowhole. Everyone's really struggling with breathing in this chapter. Her sopping wet clitoris had rarely been entertained so handsomely. Her delirious mind had become mush with a massive adrenaline rush. Ooh, he's a poet. And I said hush. No, no, just shut up, Rocky. Spooner's tongue had proven better than many of the cocks she'd entertained in the past.

Not least, her husband's. Oh, that's here. Trouble with the Sylvester's. Hang on. We know what happens to her when she gets pleasure. Her hair's gonna fall out. Oh, no. Oh, no. And then the cover's blown. Oh, James, you should have said spoiler alert.

Wait, do you think they'll have remembered that? No. Oh. you think they'll have remembered that? No. Oh. Well, when was that? It was a while ago now. That was start of book two. Then no. Fear not.

Who would have remembered? Rocky? Yeah. She pushed Spoons' head out of herself. Oh, God. She didn't birth him. Oh. James.

Pop goes the little Scottish weasel Get out Horrible I love doing that noise She pushed Spoons' head out of herself And he wiped his face with a wet wipe Where's he got that from? What from the anklet?

Again pulled from the leg ankle bracelet Fuck off It's binoculars and a packet of wet wipes. That's all a boy needs. That's ridiculous. Sorry, it folded out into wet wipes. Although there's just a pack of wet wipes in there as well. Which is one of the charms.

Like a little packet of tissues, you know, dangling. Fucking hell. He studied the still twitching Giselle. Time to pump this one for information. In the grand pumping station of Cricklewood on Thames he summarized to himself in his own head um I thought he was pumping her for information earlier I think dad's kind of caught up with where we were right before so he's done some pumping and now he's going to do some pumping indeed Indeed. Right. In the pumping station. In the pumping station.

Do you get whole much, Giselle? For God's sake. Oh, this is the subtle interrogation. Meaning Holland, we presume. Does he know that? He might be able to tell from her accent. Does she have a twang? I've never given her a twang.

Mainly because I can't do a twang. Do you get whole much, Giselle? He's pulled his head out of a vagina and that's the first thing he asks. Full head, I think. Because as we know from that noise James made, his whole head was up there. The suction. Oh my God, honestly. I've been worried about her breathing. What about him breathing? That's probably why she was gasping because he was taking big breaths and it opened her mouth at the top. She was breathing for him. Yes. Like a snorkel. Precisely. Sex snorkel. Do you get home much, Giselle? I mean, you can't have learnt to enjoy my technique without some initial training.

Belgian, I'd say. James! Giselle panted. I could say the same for you. But yes, my mother is Flemish. Sounds a bit Loverpudlian to me. But yes. She's a liveabird. My mother is Flemish. Sounds a bit Loverpudlian to me. But yes. She's a live bird.

My mother's Flemish. Born and raised. And in truth be told, she spent time in Belgium. So if I got that completely wrong, I always thought she was Dutch. No, I think she is Dutch. But it's Flemish that covers a bit of that, doesn't it? Well, hang on. James, Giselle panted.

I could say the same for you. But yes, my mother is Flemish. And in truth, she spent time in Belgium and Holland. Ah, okay. Ah, that explains it then, replied Spooner. Let me expand. Your words and voice change as you experience your deepest release. Oh, don't call it deepest release. That's worse than saying make love. Deepest release. F experience your deepest release.

Don't call it deepest release. That's worse than saying make love. Deepest release. Fancy a deepest release. I'm so glad to have given you that deepest release. I'm pretty certain you were speaking Flemish at the height of your orgasm. Speaking Flemish? No, she wasn't.

She was saying please, wasn't she? And what orgasm was that, James? She snapped right to it. Oh, she was faking it, faking it, faking it. Oh, do you reckon? Well, her hair didn't fall out, so she must have been. Why is she so pleased with herself? Wouldn't she rather orgasm?

Spooner was taken aback. Spoons Junior hadn't let him down. Oh! How's that? Teaspoon. Spoons Junior hadn't let him down. Well, not since boarding school and the lights-out incident with Prefect Tommy Stoneshire in Devonshire Wing. A gay incident?

Well, no, because Spoons Jr. let him down that time. But is that like a bit of gay reference? Let him down, though. So it meant like he was upset that Teaspoon hadn't, you know, stirred. Quite risen to the air. Our first gay reference. I'm so happy. You've really sat up on your chair at that.

I mean, it is about erectile dysfunction, but I'll take it. Whatever you're going to give me. Prefect Tommy Stoneshire. Stoneshire. Tommy Stoneshire. Giselle goggled at his eyes and ran her ten fingers through her hair

she's got ten fingers ew creepy ten fingers and two thumbs that's weird I mean it's not weird it's like

it is what it is but I feel like it's unusual that he hasn't mentioned it yet should we not go there because some people

have loads of fingers I think it's fine I think my dad wrote a point of outrage the 10 fingered community twitter is a gas i don't know oh my god we'll get emails and they'll be typed really quickly because they're honestly they get offended all the time they could count on 10 fingers and two thumbs The amount of times I've been offended. Stop it. Honestly, if I get one letter of complaint, I'm turning to you two. I think you're more in danger of the IT crowd, to be honest.

Yeah, you're right. If you've got ten fingers, we'd love to hear from you. No, but like ten fingers and two thumbs. It's just a bit more handy. It's probably good for swimming out of the reservoir. Oh, yeah, very good. Yeah. With a manic laugh. Oh, my God.

She threw the tufts of hair that had been caught in her knuckles into the air. Her own hair? Because she's orgasmed? I did orgasm. Oh! He never lets you down.

Double psyche psych. Oh, did I come? And I'm hungry for more. Come, dip your ladle into my punch bowl, Mr. Spooner. Fucking hell. He's going to get the shock of a lifetime because he doesn't know about the, what's it called? Her genital disease. Genital disease.

Yeah, yeah. She pounced on him and started kissing him everywhere. Oh my God. Just as his cock was resurrected that was quick i love that he must be like yeah so how often do you go home sorry just refer you to the previous question just as his cock was resurrected she threw him over so that he was on his front and started to lick his hairy bottom. Oh, my God. Rimming?

I just think licking his bottom. Just licking his bottom? Just the cheeks? Yes, his hairy little bottom. Just because you don't want to think your dad knows about rimming. I don't want to talk about that. Rimming is somewhere I didn't think we'd be going. We've gone to the rim.

No. We've gone to the edge. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just licked his hairy bottom she didn't lick his hairy bottom she was licking his cheeks she was kissing him everywhere we just just carried on kissing everywhere but your dad will know about rimming that's the thing he'll know about about anal play he'll know about anal play why do you never ever blink when you say these things to

me this is so horrible stop it just say he will know about anal play there's Giselle's manacle laugh right there just say it after me and I'll leave you alone right my dad will know about anal play

just say that oh my god just say it she started to lick his hairy bottom oh my god I literally can't believe there's rimming in this book

no more words were uttered there has been that sort of thing though hasn't there? No, there's never been explicit rimming before. Yeah. Just say it.

This wasn't explicit rimming. This is explicit rimming. It's not. No more words were uttered. Just jolly old sex. Jolly old sex. And that's the end of the chapter. Well, we have ended things on a very...

Bum note. Oh, God. Just say it. No, Al. Just say it. Come on now. That's all I need to say. No more words were said.

So we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening. Maybe we won't see you next week. You can get in touch with us on Twitter at dad wrote a porno instagram is at my dad wrote about the rimming anymore you can email us on my dad wrote a porno at gmail.com please sign up to our mailing list can you just say the sentence at my dad wrote a porno.com uh thank you to acas for hosting this podcast as always and we'll see you next week for chapter nine. Just say it. My dad knows about anal play. Bye.

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