My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 102 - Decompressions

Episode Date: January 4, 2018

Karen and Georgia cover the Beast of Jersey and the Cleveland Torso Killer.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. Hi and welcome to Do You Know What Our Favorite Murder Is. I just ran up a new name for my cat. Do you know what I was saying? No. Do you need a ride? We can start over. Sorry. Sorry. No, leave it. I was gonna say how it feels like it's been a while. It's been, oh no, sorry. That's quite a vacation. My favorite murder. Jesus Christ. Like, I haven't done that one in a while either. It's not like I've been. I only have one podcast now, so if I had gotten it wrong, I would have been a,

that would have been really hurtful. Yeah. How is it just having your one podcast? I feel so free. What's your next podcast going to be? I'm just going to do something with more homework, even. I'm just going to do something where all I do is homework. That's a good idea. Just quiet pencil on paper sounds. Just constant work working. Like more of an ASMR. I don't ever think I'm saying that right, but. But I have to actually do the work, so I have even less time to do anything. Good idea. Should you just go into some like math, like long division? Like where would you leave off in math? What would you like to get back to in math? I mean, I don't even know the basics. Addition? I can do that. You could do

some basic. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a really cool video about how, and from what I remember, it said people, I think in Japan do multiplication of long numbers. Yeah. And it was like, it looked like they were making a tic-tac-toe box. Did you see that video? Yeah. And what drives me crazy about it is that it's that thing of like, people learn in different ways. We don't all have this one way of learning. I'm sorry. I'm mad at the public school system. Because they haven't adapted to anything modern. Because I didn't get it. And so then I was stupid instead of like, that maybe I just needed to learn it in a different way. Right. Like how to either A, a better teacher, B, a better approach. Right. Or better, you know, I think nowadays they have a lot

more, what's the word? Montessori shit. No, and I went to Montessori. I did too. Oh my god. It didn't work for you? I mean, work in what way? Learned how to wash my feet at the washing feet station. What? There was a washing feet station. Where were you in the Old West? I just remember like, there's like the Chucks Chucks station. And though this station, that, and then there was like a bucket, you could go outside and wash your feet. That is so weird now that I'm talking about it. I didn't need to talk to my sister about this. Were you, this is an Irvine? Yeah. Did you have goats? No. Oh, were there any, was there any reason to have a bucket besides children's dirty feet? No. Was your teacher germaphobe? Probably. Or foot fetishes?

I think she must have had an issue with dirty children's feet. Why were your shoes off? Don't know. In school. Again, I'm figuring out right now that this is weird and I want to text my sister and make sure I have this memory correct. I'm calling Janet. Call Janet and ask her. Right now. I told you how I was supposed to go to therapy with my mom. Yeah. Did I tell you that I gave her the wrong day? And she showed up like two days early. Was she pissed? No. It was fine. We ended up making up anyways. Well, that's good. Yeah. I mean, that's what counts. Yeah. Do you think that subconsciously you may have done that so you didn't have to do it? Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think?

100%. That's usually why I do stuff like that. And now it's so overt to me that I might as well just be like, I'm not going to be there probably. Hey, let's me, I've done it to you a thousand times, but that's not normally, that's not, I don't want to be there. I have to talk my way out of this. Yeah. But normally that's just, I can't get that fucking calendar on my phone to do the right thing. Right. I can't ever do it. Yeah. It's a tricky little fucker. It goes backwards in time. Have we talked about this? It makes me crazy. You had a recommendation, didn't you? Oh, you know, we got Stephen, Stephen pulled this email for it. In reference to Visa V episode 100, hey, y'all includes everyone and their goddamn animals.

First off, love the show. Been listening since after episode three, went to the live show in Austin, used to play poker with David Temple for two years. This is after he allegedly murdered his wife. Yep. Wow. I'm also obsessed with the yogurt shop murders. Anyway, so that's not even about what this is about. Okay. Karen said an asteroid came three miles from it. Oh no. You can just say no more. Just don't even say anything else. It's so good. Three miles. As you say that, I'm like, that's impossible. No. Three miles. Here's the thing. And some people get very pissed off about this. We just fucking say whatever. We just say shit. We just say whatever and then clean up the mess after. Some people are very bothered by that. But man, that's funny. How far

up is like the ozone? I don't know, but it's probably more than three miles. And as you said it on the podcast, then I was like, okay, uh-huh. And then the minute that came out of your mouth, I was like, no, just now. But I don't question you until someone else questions you. That's my whole act is it's just very believable bullshit talking. Yeah. And who am I to question? I mean, who are you of all people to question me? The Queen of Spain. Okay. I don't even know Matt. How am I number three miles? You and your dirty bucket feet. Never question me. Okay. Okay. No, go ahead. Shoot this day. I can't go barefoot. No, I have a barefoot issue. Yeah, that's right. What did fucking Village Montessori do to me? What did they do to your feet? Who was

on the bottom of that bucket? Who hurt my feet? Scrubbing your feet. Eww. Sorry. Back to the asteroid. Okay. Anyway, Karen said an asteroid came three miles from hitting the earth. But sorry, asterisks pushes up nerd glasses. But it was a three mile wide asteroid that came 6.4 million miles close to hitting the earth. I think that sounds more right. I'm going to go with her. Whatever she said. Does that sound better? I'm on her side. Quite. Oh, you're being sexist by assuming it's a female scientist. I'm being pro sexist. That's right. Finally, proactive sexism. Quite a bit of a difference, but I get it. Live your sexy life like an asteroid is about to straight up murder us all. This would be great for corrections corner. You're so right about that.

All the best and lots of love, Brian. That's rad. Brian. Brian the girl. No, he has a Brian, he also has a second name in the middle. That's also a boy's name. Okay. So I can confirm Brian as a boy. Well, I don't, I am not sexist. So I thought it was a woman. I thought it was my daughter. That is so goddamn funny. That is great. It felt right. Yeah. Is he mansplaining asteroids to us though? Well, it clearly we need it. He's explaining. I'm sorry. He's meant to say explain it. He's plain explaining it to us. Explain it. Just apostrophe, explain it. Straight up, explain it. And that's my new podcast. Where people explain shit to me. Oh, that's good. Straight up. You just introduce it. Yeah. Get the

idea going and then just let other people talk about the facts. Hey, explain this to me. I have never realized how consistently wrong I can be up until this point. It's a real humbling experience. Like through the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. But I wonder, do you, in your daily life now, do you question yourself? Oh, every moment. As you're hypothesizing boldly. But I don't, I mean, like usually if somebody stands there and goes, no, actually, that's not true. I'll go, oh, okay. Because at this point, I can't really argue it. Yeah. It's happened so many times. I'll be like, oh, all right. You know, you don't go, are you sure? Oh, sometimes I'll do that. But and sometimes I can like see it in my mind's eyes. I can see the headline in my

head. It says three miles away. But that's also my ADD from being on Twitter too much and reading articles. I just read four words in the headline of an article. Karen, I can't do Twitter anymore. Because it's just killing it. Is it driving you crazy? It's awful now. It's really, I just can't do it anymore. It's making me really depressed. It's very depressing. My problem is it's where all my friends are. Many, many of my friends that I talk to the most are there as tragic as that is to say out loud. So maybe you just can have conversations, but I just like read shit. No, yeah, it's, I don't, I try not to read that much. Okay. And when I do, I do it inaccurately. Okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, listen, if it's working for you, look, I like it. Listen,

if it's working for you. No, but I will say this for resolutions. I don't know if you're comfortable doing some resolutions right now. But as we say this, because part of why I think all that was just so funny to me is because I haven't really talked to another person in like three days, except for texties. I've just been sitting on my couch watching British people solve crime for like 72 straight hours. And I have to stop doing it. Go bless you. I have to. I have to driving you crazy. Yeah. I have to leave my house. I have to give the world a try. Like I have to do things. Here's the thing. You've already done that. Yes or no. True. It's failed you. It's been bad. B, failed you. B, you've been sick. Yes or no. Yes. Very sick.

See, you just spent like two weeks with family members constantly and friends. That's right. You're having a decompression. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for walking me out of that darkness. Yeah. But you know what? My decompressions go on too long. Yeah. And then yeah. And then I'm just in the weirdest and just too weird of a place. But I would also say that I've been on a six year decompression that needs to wrap itself up relatively quickly. Can we start on Friday? Okay. Can we say Friday? Write that down in your... How about Friday 11? And then we have that phone call at 11.30. Right. Perfect. And then you have to... I actually had to hire or like have my old life coach come back. Yeah. Because I was

fucking up hard. Like that? Yeah. And one of the things we talked about was just put some makeup on and leave the fucking house. There was one time I called you and you were in a cafe and in my mind I was like, wow, she's got it all. Like it was like a dream come true. It changes everything when you have to put... I never thought of it. Dude. It changes my fucking entire day. Yeah. Because then you... Oh my god. Like today. I've left the house once in the past since New Year's Eve, since New Year's Day, and it was to eat oysters last night. And I don't think I've been around anyone but Vince. Yeah. Who's basically the same person as me at this point. You guys are very similar. So we're like the same person, you know. You're a real team. It's like being alone.

A little bit. Yeah. I can see that. So we just talk about cats, our cats, and point out things our cats are doing. It's pretty cool. But you're also very funny. I mean, I've been the, you know... Me? He. We. Together. Thank you. You're a real witty together. I really enjoy how you guys talk to each other so much. It's really delightful and fun. Thank you. Yeah. You're fun to travel with. Thank you. So are you. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. That's nice. Goodbye. Speaking of traveling, really quickly, two shows that are not sold out. We're about to do our big, our like, we're about to get into our fucking huge winter spring tour. And it's starting with Las Vegas on January 20th. There's a few tickets left. So go get those. That's going to be fun. If you're in LA and you can

make the driver row. Yeah. I bet it'll be a good time. You know who's doing it? Who? Marty Hartstark. Is he really? Yeah. He's coming on out. He's coming out. I think my sister and Adrienne wanted to, but they can't, they can't swing it like work-wise. Yeah. But they were like, oh my god, that would be the greatest. It's in a casino. We're in a casino. It's going to be so fun. You can stay there, watch our show. We're just like Magic Mike for one night. I'm so excited. Dance routine. What if we get the Magic Mike dancers to come over and do a home town murder? And we do a dance. We dance. They hometown. They hometown it. I'm wiping my nose on my shirt. Sweet. All right. And then the other one is 2018.

The other one to mention is Salt Lake City night one. We're doing two nights there, sold out second night, but night one still has some tickets February 15th. Nice little what is it called? Valentine's Day. Post Valentine's Day. Yeah. Wait, that's the 14th, right? Yeah. Okay. So whatever. That's Marty's birthday. The 15th. That's weird. Is it? Yeah. Is he going to that one? No. Okay. So we'll have to give him a birthday present at last Vegas, Red Rock's Casino. Right. So like city first night, no matter what happens Valentine's Day, drown your sorrows with us. SLC. That's fucking right. Progressive. College town. Remember that time we talked, we like said that Salt Lake City must be conservative. Yeah. And all that. Oh,

did we hear from the Salt Lake Cityans? Yeah. They let us know. We'll make it up to you. Yeah. For Valentine's Day. We fully respect you, girl. We're going to be checking fucking chocolate truffles out into the audience. Oh, we're going to get you so many roses. We're going to throw roses at you. We're going to make you feel like a woman again. I mean, get ready. Maybe there'll be cleavage. Is that romantic? I can bring some. Okay. I can bring yours because I don't have any. I can bring enough for four. Oh my God. Like if I really, really, really try, there can be like some slight, you know, shadowing up here, but it's not cleavage. I'll do that for my abs and then you do it for your cleavage. I'll do a cut out middle. What about butt cleavage? That's a

thing. I think I've got that too. Anything rounded that casts a shadow, I'm on it. Perfect. There you go. Perfect. Oh, one more email. Okay. This is just fun times. I can't believe 2017's over. I know. I mean, it's done. I know. This is a brand new year, friend. I know. Let's do it. Let's absolutely do it. I mean, we have no choice. I don't know. I really believe in myself to a really fucked up degree. Well, no, you're, we, you, you have a lot of choices, especially with this new podcast coming out because the direction, first of all, just doubling up on podcasts is going to be great for you. And then just the directions you're going to take it in. Yeah. It's just

explaining. I'm going to learn and forget so much stuff. It's going to be great. Information is going to be coming at me. I can't wait for you to not absorb any of it. This is an email from Kaylee. It says, hi gals. My name is Kaylee Carter and I play Sadie Rose in God bless. Oh fuck y'all. It was to my shock and delight that I turned on the podcast to hear our show as a source of delight to you. Oh my God. When your podcast is one of my deep obsessions. Oh my God. Along with your crime and well, anything murder related. It's so badass and inspiring to hear ladies getting together to create and what you've created is so unfiltered. What are you fucking talking about? Are you talking about? Sorry. Believe that. Kaylee. Sorry. What you've created is so unfiltered,

badass and empathetic. Just wanted to let you know that the ladies of LaBelle lost it on our communal text chain about you guys. Oh my God. A fan Kaylee Carter. Okay. Sorry. That was very self-serving, but oh my God. Steven, that's a good email to pull. Yes. Because I've been talking about this show nonstop. Everyone's talking about it. Really loved it so much. Really, really thought it was a beautiful piece of writing and work. So good. Wow. Thanks Kaylee. Thanks Kaylee. Say hi to that text chain for us. Can I? Okay. So I've been having really bad insomnia lately as I do. Can I do a podcast recommendation corner? So this chick has been keeping me company while I can't sleep for like four hours last night from three to seven. It was great. In my

sleep phones, I highly recommend them. This is not an ad. They look like a sweat band, but they're like flat head phones in them. Oh my God. So she's this lovely soothing voice and the topics are really macabre and weird. It's called The Strange and Unusual Podcast. Do you listen to it? No. It's by Allison Horrocks, H-O-R-R-O-C-K-S, which sounds like a fucking Horrocks. It sounds like a spell. It sounds like exactly from Harry Potter. Yeah. The Horrocks. Yeah. There's 10 episodes and they're like, it's all macabre and like weird, you know, witchy, old, gothic, timey, you know, catacomie stuff. Yes. It's really good. And is it true or is it stories? It's true stories. True stories. Let me throw those two together. Yep. The one thing I didn't

realize could be possible. It's like, it's true. It's almost like the strange, I mean, the mystery's abound. Yes. But she like does all the writing herself and tells you about it. It's really good. Sweet. Paul Rex, everybody, if you don't listen to Mysteries Abound, got to. So The Strange, Unusual Podcast. And it's called that because from Beetlejuice, when Lydia says, I myself am strange and unusual. Oh, yes. I love it. Yeah. And she's just been kind of like keeping me company. The best. Yeah. Well, then if I'm to join you in this corner, I will do my recommendation, the person that's been keeping me company for my whole vacation. I can't remember. I think I've seen like either a TED Talk or some clip of him on British TV, but I in driving knew that I wanted

to get like do a deep dive into something and actually maybe learn something. So I looked up audio books by John Ronson. And he's a British reporter and a podcaster. He does a ton of stuff author. He's written a ton of books. He wrote The Men Who Stare at Goats. He wrote So You've Been Publicly Shamed, which is all about the social media thing. He's done all this stuff. So he has a book. One of the ones I listened to is called Lost at Sea. And it's just a bunch of different stories and articles that he's written. And they cover everything from people who disappear on cruise ships and basically the rash of that happening. The fuck up. Uh-huh. And to... I can't remember anything. Just being lost at sea in general. Just being lost at sea. Like you have to

listen to it. And he has, okay, my very favorite thing. And I laughed so hard when I was listening to this. I was in my room at my sister's house. I was laughing so hard. I was crying and I couldn't breathe. And I was sick. So I felt, I thought I was gonna die. He interviewed the insane clown posse after the Magnets How Did They Work song, Miracles Came Out. And it is one of the funniest because he is a very straightforward, very plain spoken and very direct interviewer. And he then reenacts the like the two guys in insane clown posse reacting to how much shit they've gotten. Like because they've been called the worst band in history and like really terrible things and stuff. So he kind of went and talked to them. And it's the funniest thing I've ever

heard in my life. Oh my God, I'm listening. And he's just very like, he's so endearing and he's really, I don't know, he's just super brilliant and a really hilarious, amazing writer. So anyway, John Ronson, tons of audiobooks. And he also has a podcast called The Butterfly Effect that's about like working in the porn industry. Right, right. Which I started listening to it. It's a little bit, I'm worried. I'm worried. I don't, I'm worried about having to hear people that that don't aren't doing well or something. Whereas I like, if it's a story and someone's in the third person talking about it, it's a different thing. That's kind of like my 911 call issue. I get that. Well, really quickly, one that I'm not listening to, but I have listened to it and it's hilarious. And

I just want to give it a shout out because it's fucking incredible is the true crime podcast Done Disappeared. Oh, I haven't heard it. No. It's a parody true crime called Done Disappeared. Yes. It's about missing girl named Clara Pockets. It's hosted by John David Booter and it's basically a parody of Up and Vanished. Wait, John David Booter is not a real person. No, it's like, it's so, it's like this beautifully narrative, narrative podcast, like someone knows something, let's say. Right. And it's done really well and you hear the crunching of the gravel and then he talks about these things that are really serious, but it's all bullshit and it's all fake and it's like kind of corny and just amazing. So silly. It's so silly and I, it made me really happy.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's awesome. Done Disappeared. I mean, that's so funny. It's like, it is so popular these days that like you can, it's like the American Vandal. Yeah, exactly. You know, it's been nominated for I think a Writers Guild Award. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. It's just like that. Yeah. It's like, this is a really well done documentary. It's just about an absurd thing that's not real. It's the same thing. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. I love it. I love it too. All right. I mean, I wonder who goes first. I mean, whatever happened was in the past. It's 2018 and it's episode 102, which sucks. So it's not 101 because we put up a live episode last week. Oh, live. That's right. Because we're on the quiche home. But I know, but like, but that was

one 2017 too. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So we can do whatever we want. We can do whatever we want. And the last one technically that we recorded here, we did together. Right. So it's a real clean slate. Clean slate, blank. Everything is everything. From here to eternity. What if we make Steven pick one of us to go first? Pressures on. No, wait, what if we what if we make Steven? No, I don't know. Let's pick my stash hairs and we're going to get my stash hair. Yeah. You can throw the clown doll. The heads or tails. Whoever slaps it way hard enough. Okay, Steven, who goes first? I'm closing my eyes. I don't know why that matters. Say a number. 10. Okay. What day is your birthday? Eighth. What's yours? 11th. What does that mean? Mine's closer. So do you want to go

first? Do you want me to go first? It's the perfect system. Okay. How about I was going to say, since you got it, then you get a pick who goes first. Oh, shit. Really? Nobody wants this part of the job. That's why we gave it to you. Okay, well, mine is long and gruesome. What's yours? It's I don't think it's that long. Okay, I'll go. I can go first. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Good job, Steven. Steven, you've done it again. Looking for a better cooking routine? With meal planning, shopping and prepping handled. Hello Fresh has you covered. Hello Fresh makes home cooking easy and affordable so you can stay on track and on budget in the new year. Hello Fresh meals are convenient, seasonal and delicious. Stay cozy all winter long with classic comfort foods available

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ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Mine. And I had never heard this story before. Okay. This is more of a story, more of a case, more of a personality, because there's I don't think there's an actual murder that they know of. This is the beast of Jersey. Have you ever heard of the beast of Jersey? No. Okay, get fucking ready. I'm fucking ready. Okay. And willing. Great. I excuse me. Both of your feet are in the bucket. I'm gonna fuck my feet in a bucket. I get myself ready. My metaphor. We kick off an episode with you having recovered memories and we just blaze right through it. We just keep on chatting. I mean, I'm I'm clearly doing okay with with you're just doing it. I'm just doing it. Okay. So the beast of Jersey's name is Edward

Paynell or Paynell. I'm not sure. And this story, I stumbled upon it on a as we know we love the website Ranker and Ranker is in there with all those serial killers and the serial killer, 15 most interesting things about this and that and whatever. And so at the at the bottom of one of those lists, they have an additional list where it's like this, this all these links. It's like thank you for my insomnia. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. And it's all the 15 horrible things about the toy box killer. It's every terrible thing you could ever look at. Love it. So on there, I found the beast of Jersey, which I'm like, I assume near New Jersey. And when you look it up on YouTube, there is a guy who who starts his videos start coming up as the beast of Jersey,

but he is a waitlifter in New Jersey. Oh, no, just like swole and yoked and all the other things you'd say. He's calling himself the beast of Jersey. Well, I mean, I think it's like, you know, that's the language of like, he's in beast mode, working out. He didn't Google it though. He's why didn't you Google it? This one's from the 60s and 70s. So he's like, I'm the new, the new right. Okay, that's, that's long enough ago. He didn't give a shit. Yeah. He looks great in a tank top. He's doing good work. Good for him. I respect it. Good for him. 2018 is his year. That's right. I can feel it. So guys, please go to beast of Jersey YouTube channel and just support him. Give him a thumbs up because he can lift so much weight. Okay. I got the timeline

of these crimes, the details, all of it from a blog that's called true crime enthusiast. I've used her once before for one of my, I can't remember which one, but it was a case when we were on a live show and she, that true crime enthusiast is also a podcast, but I found this on her blog. And it was the most information of any, I couldn't find any other websites besides our dear old Wikipedia. Everything on YouTube is like one of those three minute videos that someone that seems like someone in high school made that like, I then started watching one and then it went off into some other thing where this woman who was narrating was like Canadian and yelling about how the government isn't going to admit to anything. And it went crazy. I had quite

the afternoon. Listen, let's get back. Let's focus. Jersey is one of the Channel Islands off the Northwest coast of France. Got it. I thought it was in England. Well, it's not new. What's up? It's not a new Jersey. No, that's what I was hoping for. It's original Jersey. Okay. So it's right by Normandy off the coast out there. It's also by Guernsey Island. They have the best cows between Jersey and Guernsey. Amazing, gorgeous cows. Right, Steven? Steven's crying. He loves this so much. Am I right though? I don't know anything about cows. Yes, you do. I think the Guernsey's are red and the Jersey's are black and white. Are you being serious right now? Yes. Because you grew up in a town with a lot of cows. Yes. That's why you know that. I didn't know if

they were just making up facts about a town. No, no. Jersey and Guernsey cows are like really high end. Listen, explain something to me. Okay. That's it about cows. Oh, just if you want a high quality cow, you're going to need a small island off the coast of France. I'll take it. That's where they're all from. Okay. Okay. On Google Maps, Jersey has a 4.9 star review out of 43. Why are you revealing fucking islands? This is me trying to scrape together information about Jersey in a way that can inform me. I was like, is it rich people? It seems like it's like it's a very well to do people where they have a lot of great agriculture. Obviously, award-winning cows, really small. And although it is not a part of the United Kingdom, English is the language that's

the main language spoken there. They use the pound. They drive on the left. They love soccer. The national anthem is God Save the Queen. But they are an independent parliamentary democracy. So don't fucking say that they're British because they're not. Okay. And in 2014, there were 100,000 people living there. So that's, it's not a big place. Okay. But in November of 1957, a reign of terror began on this island. That is so fucking crazy. And it went on for 10 years. And so it starts like this, a 29-year-old nurse is waiting for a bus. Now, when all this gets explained, it's all, they break it up by like counties and parishes and stuff. But since it's all meaningless, I just figured we'll just do it. It's all happening on an island that's,

I think, 49 miles wide. Great. It's a setting. Yes. Just a picture. Do you ever watch Father Brown? It's a wonderful British, no, pre-spaced crime procedural. All right. No, but I have an island in my mind. It's like, I'm there. It's not tropical. No, no, no, no, no. Great. It's like, yeah. It's like a damp, dewy, pastoral, beautiful island. That's it. Rocky cliffs. Yes. All this. Yes. Okay. Fog. Fog. And tons of bus stops. Right. So, rural bus stops. Rural bus stops. Okay. Okay. So this woman's waiting. She's a 29-year-old nurse waiting for the bus. She's approached by a man who's affecting an Irish accent and he's wearing some, something on his face. She can't see his face. And before she knows what's happening,

he hits her on the head. He puts a rope around her neck and he drags her into a nearby field and rapes her. Oh no. And even though she has a bunch of stitches and she's severely injured, she survives. A year later in March, the exact same attack happens. A year later. This time, the woman's 20, she's walking home from the bus stop. And again, a man approaches her, a rope is put around her neck. She's dragged into a nearby field and raped. Four months later in July, exact same crime. Oh my God. This time it's a 31-year-old woman. She's walking home from the bus stop. Again, rope around her neck, dragged into a field, exact same thing. And then again, in August of 1959, but this time it's a young girl. And then again in November,

to a 28-year-old woman. So it's the exact same crime happening. Jesus. Like, but relatively four months apart. So all of the victims tell the police the same thing. He put on this Irish accent. He was wearing a mask of some kind or his face was covered in some way. He's about five foot six and he smells musty. So after this series of attacks, he comes to be referred to as the beast of Jersey. But then in 1960, his MO changes and he starts attacking people inside, indoors in their homes. So it's Valentine's Day in 1960. A 12-year-old boy wakes up to see a man standing at the end of his bed. He's climbed through the boy's window. He's wearing an old rubber mask and a woman's wig. Oh God. And he's holding a flashlight in the boy's face. He places

a rope around the boy's neck, leads him outside into a field where he's raped. So a month later, a woman walking up to the bus stop needs a man who drives by claims that he's a doctor, that he's on his way to pick up his wife and he offers her a lift. And then she gets in the car and she's like, Oh, it's just this old guy. And you know, what doesn't think anything about it until she turns to see that he is wearing an overcoat and a hat and gloves. And as she's starting to put that together of how weird that is. And she also can't see his face. It's like she can't make out his face because it's dark. By the time she realizes what's going on, he's driven to a secluded spot. He ties her hand behind her head, beats her inside the car, then he drags her out of the car

into a field, rapes her. Then he puts her back into the car and he starts to drive again. She jumps out of the moving car and starts screaming for help. So he bails and he's not found. Okay. So the same month, this one's super creepy. So it's a mother and daughter in a remote cottage. The daughter's 14. So it's 1230 at night. The mother is awoken by the phone ringing downstairs. So she gets up and she goes down to answer it. When she goes, she picks up the phone. There's no one there. She hears a click and then the phone, she hears the dial tone. So she goes back upstairs and she goes to bed. An hour later, she hears a noise downstairs. So she goes and she goes out into the landing over the top of the stairs. She flicks on the lights.

It's having a picture in my head. At some point she turned the lights on. She walks downstairs and when she gets downstairs, the lights cut out. Then she realizes someone is in the living room. So she grabs the phone to call the police. The phone line's been cut. Yeah. So suddenly a man grabs her, demands money and threatens to kill her. And as she's struggling with this man, her 14 year old daughter comes out onto the landing and the man immediately releases the mother and runs to where the daughter is. And so the woman runs out of the house to go get help at the neighbors, gets the neighbors, runs back and they find the daughter is alive, but she's been raped in this with the same MO as all the other victims. April of the same year, a 14 year old

girl wakes up to find a man in a mask watching her sleep. What the fuck? She starts screaming and then he takes the mask off. No. In July, an eight year old boy is abducted from his home. He's raped in a field and then he's led back, but the rope around his neck to his front door step. Then they attack stop for the rest of the year. So of course, this is a tiny island and people are fucking shitting a brick because it's also definitely someone who lives there. Yes. So it could be anyone. Exactly right. They are interviewing every, they immediately interview every single man who has ever committed a crime at all. Like the police are just do, they have no idea what to do. So they're doing anything they can. So everything stops. So that's

July, everything stops for the rest of the year. Then in February of 1961, it starts again. And this time the M.O. changes again. Now it's all young children. So by April of 1961, three children have been attacked and raped. So finally the police call in Scotland Yard. So Scotland Yard puts together this profile of like the M.O. and of the attacks. Oh my god, love it. And they basically tell the island, you guys have to start like self policing and keeping your eyes open because you have to help us catch him. Right. Like as much as we can't be everywhere and we have to, we all have to do something about this. So keep your eyes peeled. So he's 40 to 45 years old. He's five, six or somewhere around that height. He has a medium build. He has a

mustache. His face is usually covered by a mask or a scarf during the attacks. He enters through a bedroom window on a moonlit night sometime between 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. carries a flashlight. He knows the island well, especially the eastern part. And he wears a thigh length jacket that smells musty a hat and gloves. So, but he's, he's still not found and there's no attacks for two years. So there's, that's another part of it is there, it's like a swell of these horrible crimes and then it just stops. And I think there's probably part of that human reaction is it's, it's done. We're done. We're done. And like, don't look around and don't keep looking into this. Like, it's over. Right. Then in April of 1963, a nine year old boy is attacked with the exact same

MO. And then in November of the year, an 11 year old boy is attacked same. And then in July of 1964, a 10 year old girl, and then in August, a 16 year old boy, then nothing for two years. So even that, that overall pattern starts down a pattern. And then in 1966, the Jersey police received this letter. My dear sir, I think that it, that it is just the time to tell you that you are wasting your time as every time I have done what I always intended to do. And remember, it will not stop at this, but I will be fair to you and give you a chance. I've never had much out of this life, but I intend to get everything I can now. I've always wanted to do the perfect crime. I have done this, but this time, let the moon shine very bright in September, because this

time it must be perfect, not one, but two. I'm not a maniac by a long shot, but I like to play with you people. You will hear from me before September, and I will give you all the clues just to see if you can catch me. Yours very sincerely, wait and see. Oh my God. Yeah. So in August 1966, there's a savage attack on a 15 year old girl. But this time there's a new detail. There are long, parallel scratches down the torso of the victim. And then that's the final attack for four years. Wow. Then in August of 1970, a 13 year old boy wakes up to a flashlight shining in his eyes. He's taken out of the house with the rope around the neck. He's led to the field. He's raped, attacked, led back to the house. This time the beast tells the boy,

stay quiet, because if you don't quote, something will happen to your mother and father. So the parents find the boy disheveled and he tries to say nothing's wrong. And finally, he breaks and tells the parents everything. And when he's taken to the hospital or inspected by police, I'm not sure which one, but they basically on the boy, they find the same long, parallel scratches that they found on the girl from 1966. And the boy tells police that the man had black, spiky hair, and a terrifying mask on. A year later, this is July 10th, 1971, two policemen are sitting in a traffic light at a red light. It's 11 45 at night. And a car speeds past them, um, runs the red light and is driving radically. And so of course, they throw on their lights

or how, however they do it in Jersey. Um, and they get into a high speed chase with this car. And it's total Jason Bourne style where an on, um, um, this blog, she was saying the, the guy drove up on the sidewalk. He was like doing everything he could to get away from these kind of tiny fucking island. That's so crazy. Driving everywhere. And basically finally, he drives through a hedge and into the middle of a tomato field and like comes crashing to stop, gets out, starts running through the tomato field. The cops get out, chase them on foot. They tackle them. They arrest him. They bring him to the police station. And finally would they, when they get into the light of the police station, they see that he, first of all, they notice

this in the car with him, how musty his coat smells. And it strikes them immediately that it's like just this weird gross smell, which is what every single one of his victims mentioned. That's crazy that it was the, that fucking bad that they were like immediately. Um, so then when they get into the light of the police station, they see that there are one inch nails poking up out of the shoulders of his coat and out of the, the lapels of his coat and around the cuffs of his coat. So he is sewn in one inch nails to stick out like punk rock style, stick out of his coat. And then they see that he has cloth wristbands that he has made tied around his wrists that also have one inch nails sticking out. Um, dude. So then they see that his pants

are tucked into his socks. He's wearing slippers and wool gloves. And then they check his pockets. So in, in there, he's got a flashlight with black tape over, um, the light part with just a little slit. So only a tiny bit of light will come out of that flashlight. So no one will notice it. Yeah. So he can basically control and direct the light. Um, when he's breaking into houses. Right. Um, then they find two lengths of what they call, um, sash cord, which I think means like curtain, curtain cord on him. He's got empty cigarette packs, rolls of duct tape, and a black wig with stiff, spiky hair. And that's when they find the mask. Are you ready to see the mask? There's your mask. I'm going to go. I'm going to leave. Look at that. Oh my God. Let me see

that. It is so fucked up. Okay. So what that mask is, is, um, it looks like, it looks like Edward Scissorhands if he were in a fire. It's like Edward Scissorhands and Michael Myers had a baby. Totally. And that baby, uh, was a fucking rapist was a horrifying monster. It's the scariest. Okay. The mask is the reason I read the article about him because it's the scariest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. That's actually real. Cause I was like, I'm gonna look this up and this is going to be fake because that's so horrifying. You wake up and that's standing at the end of your bed. No, no, no, no, no, like, no, no. So that's in his coat pocket. That mask. That mask is in his coat pocket. Perfect. And the wig isn't. So the wig, he wore the wig in there to separate.

So the wig was in one pocket and that wig is hard. Like it's all stiff and hard. It looks like gross, like gross dreadlocks. Yeah. And it almost looks, he almost looks like, um, like Medusa. Yeah. Like it looks like snakes, snake hair. What is that mask made out of? Cause it looks like it's made out of real human skin. It is, I think it is an old rubber mask. Oh my God. So he was just, it was like pre-Halloween, the scariest mask of all time. Um, okay. So he, sorry, I got so excited to show you that picture. I left the page halfway through. I'm going to turn this upside down because it's so hot. I don't want to stare at it. It's not cool at all. Oh my God. That's terrifying. It's poor people. I know. So it turns out that

this man, the beast of Jersey is Edward Paynell. He's a 46 year old contractor from a wealthy family. He has a wife named Joan. He has a daughter and two stepchildren. He is well respected throughout the island. Um, and, and he's very, um, kind of prominent. This is a, there's a real Ted, not Ted Bunny, John Wayne, Gacy parallel. Um, because he, he and his wife first met when he worked as a handyman at, um, the foster home that her mother ran called La Preference. And he would often visit to hand out candy and during the holidays dress up like Father Christmas. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. The children knew him as uncle Ted. Yes. Of course they did. Yeah. They, of course, the police investigate, they find out that Joan

and Ted's marriage is not a happy one. And that in fact, they're basically man and wife in name only that he has built himself, um, basically an annex off of the house. So he has an office and like living quarters and this whole thing that's separate from the house so he can come and go as he pleases. And his wife says, you know, he keeps odd hours because he's a big fisherman and he likes to go on long walks at night. So he's, you know, he, he's up and out of the house at all hours and it's how he's been for years. Oh God. Yeah. So, um, I wonder if she suspected him ever and just like didn't ever want to say anything or didn't, couldn't accept it or, I mean, you would think with the marriage being so unhappy that he moves, you know,

he builds himself a new part of the house that something bad was happening. But there's a video of Joan that I saw. Yeah. Because there's an actual like a old, you know, what looks like BBC footage or whatever. And someone's interviewing her and she just looks like, no, the man I know would never hurt a child. And she's, she seems like she means what she says. Of course. But then who knows, because there were lots of abuse allegations at this foster home and at other, so there's another part of this, but basically all these abuse allegations at different foster homes on the Isle Island of Jersey. Against him specifically? No, against these people. It's super crazy.

What? That's part of the black hole I fell into, which is watching these videos from other victims of who lived at these other, like they call, I think they call them home care, but it's basically their, one is a, this one is obviously a foster home, a big foster, like an orphanage essentially. But another one, the worst one, or from what the stories I saw was, of course, it was a Catholic, you know, send your babies here if you're having them out of wedlock and we'll raise them for you because you're not allowed to have children. Meanwhile, they beat the living shit out of them and rape and molest them and all this horrible stuff is happening there. And they have the real people who lived there talking about being woken

up in the middle of the night by the people that work there and led down into these cellars. And they actually, it was so bad that the police started investigating and they found shackles, they dug up these cellars and found shackles along one wall and they found all these bones, children's bones there, like it's crazy terrible and ended up leading to an investigation called Operation Rectangle. And the, it recorded a total of 553 alleged offenses with 151 named offenders and 192 victims on this island, where in 2014 100,000 people lived. So insanity, like something super fucked up was happening. Yeah. Oh, that's so dark in that like, that like top of the lake type of thing where it's like, oh, you don't, you don't know the secrets that go on in these.

Yes. And apparently that kind of like privacy and all that is a real big deal there, of course, and part of the reason people live there, but then it, that breeds this kind of like nobody talking about anything and nobody knowing about anything. You can kind of hide in plain sight as like a fucking creep. And the underrepresented and the marginalized that gets sent to a, you know, some horrible home somewhere. Yeah. You know, then it suddenly becomes so anyway. Basically, they go to his house with a, you know, to look into his house. And they find they, oh, she the quote that she said was he's the most loving, caring man who would never hurt a child. Joan. Joan. Okay. So when the police questioned him about why he was driving

so crazy, he told them that he was on his way to an orgy. And that's why he was dressed so oddly, because he didn't want anyone to recognize him on the way to the orgy. Because of course, everyone would know where he was going in his car. Right. Then he explained away the nails sticking out of his clothing that he wanted to be prepared in case anyone attacked him with martial arts. I do that too. Uh-huh. It's always going to be ready with a series of nails nail nail jewelry. Yeah. Um, so when they search the house, they find a locked secret room inside his room. Oh my God. He's already got his own annex. Oh my God. Then he's got a locked secret room. Tell me what's in it. Well, guess what it smells like. Must. Yes. He loves must.

I don't know if I raise that shit. I mean, it's like one of the fucking clues. I mean, apparently this whole room smelled like the jacket. Oh my God. And inside the room, they find an old blue tracksuit. They have found an old raincoat, homemade wigs, which for some reason I find bone chilling. Yeah. And false eyebrows, which is also very creepy. What? Yeah. So he was clearly playing with his appearance constantly. So even if, even if they said, oh, I was also at that bus stop and I saw that right, but they, whatever description they would give would never be accurate. Yeah. Which was his plan. And what they start to realize is he, he had these plans set in place for years. Yeah. Um, he, because they found a camera hanging on a

hook and then they found photos of houses from around the island. And eventually they got out of him that he would choose his victims, sometimes years in advance. What? He would take a picture of the house. He would memorize the map of the house. He knew exactly whose room was whose and what window to go into. So he would never, he never accidentally went into some wrong window and it was in the parents room. Yeah. He always knew which room the children's room was. Oh my God. And he knew exactly when to go and when they were by themselves or when everybody was asleep. Like he planned it meticulously for years. This is scaring me like no other story we've done has scared me. It's the fucking scariest thing of all. He is a little legit boogeyman. Yeah.

Like crazy. Um, and then basically the nails for real were if somebody caught him, right, tried to grab his hand, tried to grab his shoulder, he would get away. Oh my God. Like he had all these things planned to make sure he never got caught. And that's why he, it happened for so long. What a psycho. Then they also found what they, what they called in, in, and the blog I was reading, she refers to it as black magic and things related to black magic. But in another article I read, they were like a full on altar to Satan in his barn behind a red velvet curtain, which that was not mentioned in any way in this blog, which I kind of, I trust her. She's so thoroughly researched. Yeah, that's a little David Lynchy. It's a little where to get a red curtain and

how come no one noticed a red curtain in a barn? Yeah. I mean, it's always possible and it would be very striking and effective for black magic uses. You're like, I'm in the middle of a field filled with gorgeous cows. I turn around, here's this curtain out of nowhere. Okay. So anyway, all kinds of satanic shit though, in this room. So basically that, I mean, that's it. He goes to trial and on November 29th, 1971, it took 38 minutes to declare him guilty of all charges. He sentenced to 30 years in prison. That's it. And he gets out in 20. What? He was a model prisoner. He's paroled in 1991. Stop it. Yeah. Stop. He goes to prison in 1971. He gets out in 1991. What? He tries to move back to Jersey. Oh, hell no. And the people are like, yeah, no way.

So he ends up moving to the Isle of Wight and he dies there of a heart attack in 1994. So I think the Isle of Wight is, from what I know, I think one of my favorite bands is from the Isle of Wight. And I think it's real sparse. Would you look that up really quick, Stephen? I don't even think he's already doing it. But 20 years? 20 years. Because it's all rape. And this was the 70s when they were like, yeah, I wish that was not like that anymore. I know. Well, it's getting better though. Certain places. Like a serial rapist would not get out of jail in 20 years. They don't do that anymore. I mean, I know every case. I'm trying to, oh, I forgot to believe you on everything.

Okay, good. Okay, great, great, great. Great. Thanks for telling me, Karen. Let's see. Okay. Was I right about the Isle of Wight? It's the Bees. I love that fucking band. The Bees. Chicken Payback? Best song ever. Stephen, you just looked up the musicians. Oh, wait, but do we know anything about the, here, here. Let me just actually say. Notable bands from... Oh, whatever. Isle of Wight. It's the second, it's the largest and second most pop, most populous island in England.

So I was totally wrong about that. We'll do a show there. Fine. Oh my God. Let's go to the Isle of Wight. Okay. They have a really good music festival there, I believe. Again, that could be bullshit. I believe, you know. I believe me. So anyway, then, oh, this is the final thing in that operation rectangle. The police had to actually announce that there was no firm evidence linking Paynell to any of the abuse that took place at that Catholic nun home. It was called the hot de la Guerrein. That's why I did not pronounce that right.

Where really terrible things happened. So they had to say, there's no, you know, Beast of Jersey is not connected to this, although he wasn't known to be a regular visitor there. Oh, what a coincidence. So basically, they're just saying there's no firm evidence, but he also came here all the time. Yeah. And horrible things happened to the children here. And he likes to hang out at this place. Yeah. Wow. So horrible, horrible. And freakishly, like, how did I never hear of any of that before? Well, I have a similar one. Oh. Horrible, horrible freakish. How did I never hear about this before? Oh, shit. Okay,

another list list of horrible things that have happened. Yes. This one I've heard the name that I'd never heard of. I'd never known what happened, surprisingly. This is the mad butcher of Kingsbury Run, aka the Cleveland torso killer. Ah, shit. God damn it. Or are you going to do it for Cleveland? Yes. But I knew it's such a good one that has, we neither have done for so long that it's just been dangling out there. Yeah. Well done, you. Thank you. I swooped in. I apologize. Got to do it. But here I go. Here you go. Let me try to make do it, give it justice and everything. So 1930s Cleveland, it's the sixth largest city in America, but it's the most dangerous because of they have a high rate

of traffic accidents, which sucks and rampant organized crime along with antiquated police force. One of the high crime areas was on the south side of the city known as Kingsbury Run. It's a riverbed like ravine located near the suburb of Shaker Heights. And it's where the train tracks run along. So a lot of transients riding the rails in the 1930s would camp out there. And in the Depression era of 1930s, it was this dark, dreary, dangerous place. And there was a lot of, there was a lot of blah, blah, blah. Let's see. It was like a hobo camp at that point, basically. Yeah. So hobo is okay to say. I know, right? Yes, it is. Many people told us it stands for homeboy, which means like I'm on my way homeboy, right? Like I'm on the train.

Yeah. Okay. So it's a makeshift. They call it a hobo jungle. And it's just that it's just this crazy transient encampments with box made of boxes and, you know, thrown together houses and the sort of thing. And it's right next to a place known as the roaring third, which is kind of like this neighborhood that's home to bars and brothels, flop houses, gambling places. It's like the fucking down and dirty area, all grimy. And this is the setting where the most notorious murder cases in Cleveland's history start to happen. Well, in September 1935, two teenage boys, and this is a, this is a lot of people stomping along, along a lot of body parts in this, in this show. Yep. So in September 1935, two teenage boys playing at the base of Jackass Hill in Kingsbury run.

Yes. Yep. How could you knock on a Jackass Hill every day if you were like 12? Yeah. I'm going. Yeah. Where else would we play? Please. Okay. All right. So they discover the decapitated, emasculated, they call it body of a white male. Oh, shit. Can you fucking imagine? Like, is it worse to come upon a body or fucking headless body? Headless body. Yeah, you're right. That's been emasculated. Yeah. That's horrifying. Yeah. So their lives are ruined. Because here's the thing. Can I just say? Yeah. If you come upon a body, you don't know what happened. Right. Any number of things could have happened. Right. You come upon a headless, emasculated body, you immediately know someone did that to that person. Like headless and emasculated.

Someone did it intentionally. Jesus Christ. Unless it's the worst car accident of all time, which it isn't. Okay. The body is naked except for a pair of socks. I know. Worse. I know. Cleaned and drained of blood. And the cause of death is the decapitation. Yeah. Which is horrifying. But sorry. Cleaned and drained of blood like Black Dahlia style? Mm-hmm. Oh. Oh. Wait. So the areas being searched by the police, they get there. They're like probably talking those kids down from freaking the fuck out. Oh my God. And around 30 feet away, another male corpse is found. This body in the same position and the head and genitals also had been removed. The body appeared to be a 40 year old male covered with a chemical preservative and

appeared to have been dead for at least a couple of weeks before being dumped after becoming to decayed. Almost as if someone had tried to preserve the body wherever he was, wasn't working, got rid of the body. Super creepy that we can hear a train right now. Riding those rails. Scared me. I know. Right? Can you hear that, Stephen? The mad butchered Kingsbury run is on that train right now. For only now. Wow, there hasn't been a train gone by here in over 25 years. Okay. Close to the bodies though, they find both heads as well as both sets of genitals. They had discarded them as though they had just been thrown away. No blood is found on the ground or on the bodies and so they had been cleaned somewhere else. Yeah.

The younger man, the first body that was found had been dead for about three days and his fingerprints were able to lead him to who he was. He was Edward Andresi. He's a 28 year old guy who minor police record for carrying a concealed weapon. He lived near Kingsbury run. He was kind of a rough and tumble dude. He had a reputation for being a drunk and frequently getting into fights. And when I did the autopsy based on the cuts, the operation was done very skillfully and the investigators suspected that the killer might be a butcher, a surgeon, or at least someone familiar with killing animals. Which seems like it's always the case. Like I think if you don't know what you're doing, you don't try to start doing that or like you get, you kind of get like a,

you get like a fetish for it. Yeah. If you do it to like animals, maybe. Maybe if you're a certain, certain sort of psychopath. Right. Oh, sorry. That was the, the John Ronson book that I started with audio book was the psychopath test. That's the whole reason that all started and it's such a good book. Sorry. Oh, you're good. I should have said that before. But it basically there's no difference, the relatively no difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. It's all, he goes into all of that. But anyway, it's relevant. It's very relevant. But like that you couldn't just, a normal person, if you were going to kill somebody, even if you planned it out. Yeah. If you were, you would have to be devoid of feeling to do all that stuff. Yeah. Because you,

you, yeah, you'd, you'd have to be a certain mental type to be able to clean a body, drain it of blood, cut it, cut pieces of it off. Yeah. Like the thought of, so like I'm a pretty normal person and the thought of having to, you just, you just nodded your head in the most sarcastic way. Was that involuntary? It was silent. It was, was that involuntary? It was conversational. I appreciate it though, because I don't want to be normal. I mean, in that I'm not a psychopath. So the thought of having to go from here to killing someone is such a huge leap that the people who were okay doing it must be, must be fucking closer to that already. 100%. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't think it's a, I don't think it's like a line in the sand. I think it is a total,

is the light on or off because there's nothing worse like when you're watching a movie and people like, uh, what was that fucking, um, oh, that movie, the Ewan McGregor movie, he would let made him a star where they killed their roommate. He's a transpire. No, no, no, no. It was the one where they, that was the three roommates. They decide to kill the fourth roommate or maybe they don't kill him, but he's dead and they cut up his body. And it basically having to watch people who aren't like that, have to do something that horrible is like, I hate any movie like that. Yeah. I mean, it's a good movie, but it's so stressful because then you just picture, you would have to do that. Did you watch second season of search party?

No, I haven't watched it yet. It's so good. They're all just dealing with them. I'm not going to spoil it, but they're dealing with the ramifications of the first and, uh, what's her name? Aliyah Chakrat? She is so good. She's such a great actress. She's a great actress. And this whole season of her just having stress over what, what they did. It's amazing. It's really hard to watch. I got that. That's very stressful. Oh, it's shallow grave. Sorry. Okay, never say it. Okay. It's a good movie, but so stressful in that way. We're just like, like to, they do it for money, but like when you, when you entertain that idea, yeah, where you'd be like, what would it take for you to cut up a human body? Yeah,

I just don't, there isn't an amount of money. I don't think so for me either. I'd rather go to jail because it would PTSD you into infinity. Totally. Okay. Totally. The older man, the second body is impossible to identify. And that's a fucking thing. Most of these bodies that are found are never identified. They hope that would be easy to find the killer because the guy who they could identify Edward was, you know, had this trail through sleazy bars and gambling places. And he's known to be a procure of young girls for prostitution and also admitted to have male levers. So it was like, it's going to be one of these people from this, this area. He was a gay pimp in Cleveland. Uh-huh. Yeah. He's from the Roaring Third. They're like, it's going to be

someone here or in Kingsbury Run. Easy. But they follow lead after lead and they can't find any really good suspects. And it leads, the investigation leads nowhere. So the press starts calling him, calling the killer the mad butcher of Kingsbury Run, which is like such a cool fucking name. Yeah, it's really good. So a couple months later on, in January of 1936, a woman discovers two half-bushel baskets left alongside a manufacturing building in the city. Inside the basket, baskets and neatly wrapped in newspaper, she finds about half the body of a female. Whoa. The rest of her body is found about 10 days later in a vacant lot nearby. I mean, people are stumbling upon nightmare after nightmare. Also, if it was wrapped, it said it was wrapped

in newspaper. Yeah. So she unwrapped it and be like, what's in here? She's like, this could be a stack of money. Yeah. That's totally what I would be like. Look at this stained wet money. I can't wait to unwrap it and spend it. Fuck, no. So fuck. Also, because it's like you're saying depression error. She's like, this is fucking food. Maybe this is food. I'm starving. Let this be. How about some nice dishes? Nope. How about a nightmare for the rest of your life? Oh, God. Some nice dishes from the five and dime. Okay. The cause of death, again, is decapitation. Fingerprints identified the body as Florence Polillo or flow. She's this fucking like flow polillo flow polillo. She's this like salty fucking older woman. There's like a good photo of her

online. She's a waitress, a barmaid and a sex worker. She clearly doesn't give a fuck carries a shank in her purse. Like obviously she's doing it. She's getting hurt. She's stacking that paper until she got decapitated at the time of her death. She lived right on the edge of the roaring bird and her head is never found. Whoa. Okay. In June of 1936 in Kingsbury run, two young boys are fucking out doing stuff and they find the head of a white male wrapped in a pair of trousers. What? Those poor kids. Police found the body of the 20 some year old man the next day. So they found the head then they found the body the next day dumped in front of the police building. Whoa. Cleaned and drained of blood. Everything's intact except for the head again caused by

decapitation, which is like we're going to really talk about it. I don't want to. That's the fucking one of the worst ways to die. We died of decapitation. Even fast, isn't it? Yeah, you gotta hope. What if it's like for 20 minutes, you're alive in your head. That's why that's why you want someone who's actually good at who's like is a butcher or a surgeon. Yeah, you don't want someone hacking away at your neck. No. No. No. No. You want a nice guillotine style. Boom. Make it quick. What was that? I didn't feel anything. Lord Jesus, is that you? Yeah. Or whoever your Lord might be. Okay. I'll take anyone at that point. Yeah. Just get me out of here. Yeah. A plaster reproduction. This is creepy. A plaster reproduction

of the man's head because I couldn't identify him along with diagrams of his tattooed are displayed so the public can try to identify him and it's this creepy like plaster mask. It's so gross. That's the one thing I do remember about this. Yeah. All the details are very fuzzy as until you say them, but though I can see those masks. There's a lot of them and you actually can see them in Cleveland. We should go when we went at the Cleveland Police Museum. They have a bunch of them. Yes. We're going. Yes. Yeah. Two ticks. I thought you're gonna pull that out. I did that. Yeah. He's called the tattooed man and he's never identified. So in July, 1936, while walking through the woods near the West side, a teenage girl comes across the decapitated remains of a

white male in his forties. The victim had been dead about two months in his head as well as a pile of bloody clothing was found nearby. Like who is doing this? Also two months. That thing. Yeah. Did she not from 50 paces? She had to. Something smells terrible. But probably back then everything smelled bad. Oh, true. No. True, true, true. This was back when you had to put deodorant on. It was in a pot and you had to put it on like cream deodorant. Have you ever seen that? No. And you didn't probably shower a lot, right? Yeah. And you just slapped on some cream deodorant. Yeah. No. Gross by hand. No. So this time though, there's an enormous quality of blood. So they're like, you must have been killed there. In the forest? Yeah. In the woods. Then in September,

1936, so two months later, a transient trips over the upper half of a man's torso while trying to hop on a train in Kingsbury Run. Oh, did he get on that train? I hope so. He is trying to catch a train and he trips and that's what it is. Insult injury. Police send a diver into a nearby swimming hole like sewer area and find the lower half of the torso and parts of both of his legs. I hope that diver was compensated handsomely. Handsomely. Because also it's a swimming hole. So it'd be all murky. It's really probably a gross place. It's more feeling around than diving with your eyes. Okay, this victim who's the number six victim is into late 20s, cause of death, decapitation, corner notes that the head had been cut off with one bold clean stroke, which

indicated strong competent killer, very familiar with the human anatomy, and that the victim died instantly. So that's good. Thank God. Identifications never made. Cause you know, this is the time back then where it's all these transients trying to get jobs. They're writing the rails from city to city, trying to not be in the cold, freezing cold winter, trying to make a little bit of money anywhere they can. So it's just this huge transient population. So these, and it seems like the killer, you know, use that to his advantage because if they can't identify the victims, they can't track who they spoke to, who they were, who they were friends with. Yeah, clearly it was a decision that was being made. Exactly. Of who to pick. Exactly. So

plaster casts again are made and some with actual hair from the victims. No. And the plaster cast. Not necessarily. No, we get it. Brown hair. Yeah. That's all you need. Just type that on a card. Mm-hmm. So this makes six kill brutal killings in one year and the police had no clues or suspects. The press reported almost daily on this. Everyone's freaking the fuck out. The officials are super desperate and embarrassed and everyone's like, what is happening? Everyone's like, watch where you walk. Don't walk anywhere. Tripping over bodies has become a big thing. Yeah, it's all the rage. Around this time, around the time that these started, Elliot Ness, who's the legendary prohibition agent, you know, we all know Elliot Ness. It's Kevin Costner.

I remember watching The Untouchables when I was a kid and I shouldn't have. That's not a kid movie. No, I will never forget. And I will never forget there's a scene where he takes a baseball bat and bashes someone's head in. I haven't seen the movie since I was a kid and yet I still remember that scene very well. Yeah, you. Yeah. Really fucked me up. He was the good guy, right? Yeah, I didn't know. I don't know why that was. Anyways, Elliot Ness. So he at this point is appointed safety director of Cleveland, which means he's in charge of cops and firefighters and everything. He gets more involved in the case. They put a psychological profile together saying that the offender was a psychopath, although probably not obviously insane. He had

some knowledge of anatomy and he would have been very skilled at cutting flesh, obviously. Because decapitations are very messy. It was believed that he had access to some private space where the murders were performed. And if this was true, then the fact that the bodies had been carried long distances to be dumped indicated that he was probably really strong. So he also may have been familiar with the Kingsbury Run area. And yeah. And then two full-time detectives are put on the case. These two dudes go undercover into Kingsbury Run like Shantytown, which sounds so much fucking fun, doesn't it? Oh shit. Why isn't there a movie about this? I don't know. Because that's amazing. I think it's called The Adventures of Natty Gann, isn't it?

She went into a Shantytown to solve decapitation murder. Oh no, no, no. That's part two. She was so brave, that little girl. That would kind of be amazing. Like female empowerment. She's just tripping over a torso. Marching through. Hand me that head. She didn't give a fuck. So they get a fucking go undercover. There's photos of them too online of being like, oh look at me being a hobo. And it's like if you were to dress up as a quote hobo for fucking Halloween, like how you'd look. No, sorry. Can I sidebar this? Yes. Because I did dress up as a hobo one year. Okay. I may have told you. Yeah. It was my own idea because right around age eight, I think my mom started telling me I was on my own

Halloween costume style. So it was just like whatever you could gather around the house was your costume. 100%. One time I was a catty because I found an a small old set of golf clubs in the garage. So you just carried golf clubs around with you the whole night? Yeah. That was my costume. How did we manual labor? How did we? Why didn't we? Why didn't anyone care what your kids and then you go, you dress as a fucking catty and then it's like go up by yourself at night and knock on people's doors and ask for candy. But it didn't, I didn't make it to the night with the catty outfit because at school in this like Halloween parade, I learned my lesson of like I'm carrying 20 pounds of golf clubs for no reason. But and also in this day and age,

can you imagine a parent being like make your own costume? Yeah. They would be arrested and like you'd never hear from them again. Yeah. So anyway, I the that year I became I was a hobo. So I just had a bunch of old clothes and you know, it was the classic 70s child costume. Sure. But what I thought was going to be innovative is I put Vaseline on my face and then I put coffee grounds on the Vaseline so that it looked like I had a beard and it was fun and creative until the part where we all ate delicious snacks started happening and everything I ate tasted like coffee because that was what was on my face and I ruined Halloween for myself. No, my mother ruined Halloween for me. I think the 70s ruined Halloween. How did any of us enjoy fucking anything? That's a great question.

It was all ab-a-zaba anyway. Okay, go ahead. They're dressed up like right. Okay. Thank you. They interview more than 1500 people. It becomes the biggest police investigation in Cleveland history. And then on February 3rd, 1937, a man finds the upper half of a female torso washed up on shore on the shore east of Brotonal. Got that wrong. Brotonal. Brotonal, B-R-A-H-T Brotonal. I hear Cleveland screaming at us from the audience right now of our fucking Cleveland show. It sounds like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, look at, okay. Scooby-Doo talk. Right. Unlike all the previous victims, the cause of death had not been decapitation because that had happened after she had already been dead and the lower half of the torso washed ashore three months

later at about East 30th Street, the woman was in her late 20s, she's never identified. Wow. So it's weird to that again, like with your dude, they're changing up the M.O.'s. Yeah. So it's almost like, you know, nobody's fucking safe. Yeah, because if they do it long enough, they're like developing and fine tuning right to their own creepy. I mean, it becomes for both these cases, it's not about, it's not, it's about the act, not about the victim and not about the want and a need. It's more like about this obsession. Yeah. So it doesn't matter if you do it on a boy or a girl or a grown woman or, you know. Right. It's all the, yeah, it's the planning and the, and the picking and all that.

It's enjoying, it's enjoying what you're doing. It's being a psychopath. Yeah. It's being a murderous lunatic psychopath. Totally. June, 1937, a teenage boy discovers a human skull. Next to it in a burlap bag is several remains of what turned out to be a petite black woman. So this time it's a black woman, which changes the M.O. She's about 40 years old. Dental work shows that she is Rose Wallace and police follow every lead they have on her, but nothing is found. Then in July, 1937, the National Guard had been called to maintain order at the flats or where all, you know, everything's going on. And a young guardsman is standing watch by a bridge and sees the first

piece of victim number nine in the wake of a passing tugboat. Ooh. Over the next few days, police recovered the entire body except for the head from the waters of the Cuyahoga River. The victim who had been mutilated, what is it, was in his mid to late 30s. He's never identified. Good. How did it? It's crazy. Did it come off the tugboat, perhaps? Ooh, that's a good question. I mean, like, did it did it make anyone go maybe that if you were on a boat, if you were the captain, say you were like a crab fisherman or something. You're not near the ocean, but some that is that it's a vessel or you could be by yourself. And you could clean things. Ooh. And you could rinse things off. In the water. In the water that surrounds you.

That's a good point. Thank you. Let's look into that. Okay. In 1938, a young laborer is on his way to work in the flats and saw what he first thought was a dead fish along the banks of the Cuyahoga River. Turns out to be the lower half of a woman's leg. This is victim number 10. A month later, police pulled two burlac bags out of the river containing both parts of the torso and most of the rest of the legs. She's never identified. Wow. Okay. Then in August 1938, three scrap collectors forging in a dump site, which we're like, don't do that in Cleveland right now, guys. Guys, this is the time where you maybe get into writing, right? Maybe go internal. Yeah. Don't do any kind of garbage based activities. No, exactly. They find the torso of a woman wrapped

in a man's double breasted blue blazer, then wrapped again in an old quilt. The legs and arms are discovered in a recently constructed makeshift box wrapped in brown butcher paper and held together with rubber bands. And this is the weirdest one to me because it's makes me think that they're and obviously this is one of the ideas is it's a lot of different killers because this one's like it's disposed of so differently. And I'm shocked that they couldn't find any clue based on that. From a suit jacket where back when everything was tailor made? Yeah, from the suit jacket to the to the box to the rubber bands to the quilt. It's like it's so crazy that they couldn't find anything. And maybe if it's just if it were the same killer,

they've done it so many times that now they're taunting the police of like, there's a ton of clues and you're still not gonna find me. Yeah. Could be. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Yeah, because there's a big difference between a burlap sack and a blazer. Yeah, it's very weird. And it's like it's hidden more than it more than it was and it was in a dump site. So it was like it wasn't left out to be found. So I bet this one is I bet this one is made is like the husband made to look like. Oh, yeah. It's one of the victims. Oh, yeah. Of the torso killer smart that you think. And it says that some of the parts look like they had been refrigerated while searching for more pieces that just place discover the remains of

a second body only yards away. Never mind. So well, maybe that was her lover. Maybe there we go. These two bodies have been placed in a location that was in plain view from Elliott Ness's office window. Whoa. So yeah, toying with him. Well, also that's his office was close to a dump site. Yeah, like the dumps. Yeah, essentially. Yeah. Wow. I wonder if theories. What? Well, if it so maybe it was like, let's say it was the husband who killed the wife and the lover and wanted them to get found because he wants the insurance money, but they're gonna just assume that it was killed by the torso killer. So it wasn't like he murdered them. Right. I don't know. That'd be a great plan.

Yeah. Thank you. And that mean by that, I mean, terrible. I mean, awful. Really? So August 18 1938 at 1240 a.m. Elliott Ness and a group of 35 police officers and detectives raid the hobo jungles of the Kingsbury Run. They arrest 63 men there and they search the shanties that they are that are now deserted looking for clues. But you can't decapitate and emasculate a body in a shanty. So they just go after the poorest and represented. Well, they think because all these bodies seem to be of transience that it must be one of their own. Okay. Doing it. All right. But yeah, they're not going to do it in the shanty. There's very little privacy in the shanty town. That's true from my experience. That's a country song, I think.

All right. Any time to myself in the shanty town. And then they set the shacks on fire and burned the whole fucking shanty down to the ground. Yeah. That's what the fucking Cleveland people said too. What the fuck? Non solution. Non solution. The press are really pissed off about it too. They criticize Ness for his actions. But the murders did stop after this happened. Oh, maybe. Okay. Okay. And July 1939, they bring in their suspect, 52 year old Bohemian bricklayer Frank Dolezal. Dolezal. Dolezal. Oh, like Rachel Dolezal, the woman who posed to me black. How did she spell it? D-O-L-E-Z-A-L. I think. Yes. That's off. That was off right off the top there. Frank Dolezal. Dolezal. Well, what a rich history that family has had. I mean, so he's arrested because he had

lived with Flo, our friend Flo, and who had been, was the body that was found in the baskets. He had lived with her for a while and it revealed that he had been acquainted with the two other identified bodies, Edward, Andresi, and Rose Wallace. So after a ton of questioning and getting beat the fuck up by investigators, he confesses that he had stabbed her, killed her in self-defense. But he didn't know any of the case details and it didn't, he kept getting bruises and injuries from his time in custody with the Cleveland police. And within a month, he, in custody, he's found dead in his cell. Oh, no. It said he hung himself with his bedsheets. He, from a hook that was five foot seven inches off the ground and he was five foot eight.

So that math doesn't add up. And when the medical records show he had four broken, he had broken ribs and bruises all over his body that were not there before he entered prison. Yeah. So not fucking, I'm just telling you the information I read, not saying anything. That's really good call. But yeah, that's dead all sounds. The problem with that too is when you kill the suspect, even if it's a bad suspect, you still don't know anything. Right. Like you're, you're still cutting off that line of information. Well, it's almost like you, you're not learning anything and you get more and more angry about it. And so you hurt him more and more to get more information. But if he doesn't know the information, he can't give it to you.

Right. So, yeah. Yeah. So this day, no one thinks that he is the killer. All the like historians and shit. So, but it turns out there's a secret suspect that Elliot Ness interrogated in 1938, but it didn't come out who it was until the 1970s. Was it Herbert Hoover? It was Herbert. Herbert. It turns out it was a deranged doctor. Yes. Of course. Sorry, I love that. Yeah. Dr. Francis E. Sweeney. And he sounds like, you know, a fucking classic deranged doctor. Okay. Murderer type. Love it. He's a veteran of World War One who was part of the medical unit that conducted amputations. Why did you just laugh, Steven? I was trying to cover up a sneeze. Oh. Okay, good. We're like, oh, Steven's finally as fucked up as us. Oh, no. He's sneezing. I thought

you laughed so hard that you like had to cover your face. What? Steven, that's when it's revealed Steven's intensely evil and has been this entire time. It's the thing that gets him is World War One amputees. Yeah. That's his fucking favorite. That's when Steven's real personality, Steve, comes out. Steve. Okay, Steve. Okay, so he's part of a medical unit that conducted amputations and patchings up in the field during the interrogation by Elliot Ness, who's like at this point losing his shit because he's so embarrassed that he can't find the killer. Right. Sweeney said to have quote, failed to pass to polygraph tests, but they were kind of in their early stages at the time. So that's, you know, we not totally know. Back then it was just a third cop holding

your finger and I'm going, lying, not lying. Very early rudimentary. That's exactly right. You can see that. You can see that in the Cleveland cop museum too. Just that same cop sitting there. We're going to go meet him. Hey, look, it's the original lie detector. It's just screaming in people's faces. That guy. Oh, Larry, he was amazing. Lie. Best lie detector. He was a lie detective. That's right. I don't know. It seems that, okay, so it seems like Elliot Ness definitely thought that fucking creepy Francis E. Sweeney was the killer, but there isn't a lot of information on it because it turns out that Sweeney was the first cousin of one of Elliot Ness's political opponents, Congressman Martin L. Sweeney, who had been hounding Elliot Ness in the press publicly

about his failure to catch the killer. So he was about to run again. So it would look really bad if he was like, well, guess what? It's your cousin who's the killer and no one would believe him. And then if he were wrong, he would have ruined his career. Elliot Ness's career too. Very high stakes. Right. So he's like, fuck, I can't do this, but I totally think it's this dude. And then he was like, told everyone, don't fucking tell anyone. And no one fucking told anyone until this dude was writing a book in the 1970s and was like, shit. He was fucking Frank E. Sweeney. So after he comes under suspicion, Dr. Sweeney commits himself to an insane asylum and there are no more leads or connections that police could assign to him as a possible suspect.

From his hospital confinement, he's threatening postcards signed by Sweeney, mocked and harassed, percent to Elliot Ness. And they mocked and harassed him and his family into the 1950s. Whoa. He'd signed them F. E. Sweeney. Paranoidal nemesis. Paranoidal? Paranoidal nemesis. Wow. Okay. Of course. I mean, that's like kind of admitting that you did it. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. He's crazy. It's possible, of course, that there were many murderers and copycats, which I think might be the case. Similar decapitation murders occurred in neighboring Newcastle, Pennsylvania as well from 1923 to 1940. And none of those were solved either. So there's a lot of similar cases. And before the first two bodies were ever found in 1934,

a woman's torso washed up on the shores of Lake Erie outside of Cleveland. The victim's flesh had also had the chemicals on it that looked like it had been trying to embalm her. And they called her the lady of the lake, but it wasn't until later that they put those, they made the connection that they were all, they could have been the same killer. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. So it's also been theorized that the Cleveland torso murder cases have some connection to the January 1947 murder of Elizabeth Short, aka the Black Dahlia. In fact, one of the many suspects from Cleveland was living a few blocks away from where the body of the Black Dahlia was found, seven and a half and drained of blood. No fucking way. So somebody that got interviewed

way back in the 30s for those murders 15 years before moves out to sunny CA couple blocks away to try his handed acting or what have you. Yeah. Like, what are the fucking chances? The very low, I would guess. Or was he, was he like, maybe he did kill her and he just wasn't also the killer of the torso people in Cleveland. That would even, wouldn't that even be more of a coincidence? Yeah. No, no, no. Because he'd been following the murders that whole time in Cleveland. He was like, that sounds like fun. And he killed her. So he was kind of copycatting as well. Yeah, either way, he killed the Black Dahlia. Shit. Yeah. But it's interesting to note that Dr. Sweeney, who didn't die until 1964, spent the rest of his life committed.

He was allowed to leave for days or weeks at a time. Why? Because he committed himself until his permanent institutionalization in 1955. So maybe that motherfucker went to California for a while. Yeah, where'd he go when he got to leave? Great question. Oh, Ness's inability to catch the killer drove him fucking crazy. And it also tarnished his reputation, which we know is like fucking super historic and godly. And official police records on the case have been lost, destroyed or removed. And so Cleveland police museum.com. A lot of good information there and a lot of photos. There's some gruesome ones too, just so you guys know. And also a website called PrairieGhosts.com. Got a lot of good information there as well. Nice. So that is the

Cleveland torso killer or the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run. Wow. Yeah. Also, the fact that that ends with hooking up to another great unsolved mystery is insane. Like it's so good. I know. And crazy. Yeah. Because then that means potentially it's some say 30 years from now, they find some kind of cat whatever. Like what if one day it's solved and it's not it's the Black Dahlia and the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run. Do you think the Black Dahlia will ever be solved? I mean, that's what I asked for for Christmas. So yes, I believe that Santa can hear me. A speck of DNA. And then they put it through CODIS and it's relate it's the relation DNA that they have now that's so cool. Oh, yeah. Where it can be like it your the the person whose DNA this matches is

related to this other person who's in CODIS. Oh, so even if they're not in CODIS, which because they'll be so old, it wouldn't be in there. But they give you like this is the person's great grandson. So they could track them down anyway. Yeah. If that person is in CODIS. Did you ever listen to that series and I'm not to be able to remember it off? Oh, no, I can. It's Hollywood and crime. Oh, yeah. Did you listen to that? And it's like basically all those there were a bunch of similar murders before and after the podcast is so fucking good. Hollywood and crime. If you haven't listened to it, man, that's good. And it is it wades right into all this whole the Black Delia territory. The Black Delia thing is it's it's so much bigger than you thought. Yeah. And

it's it's a great podcast. Yeah, it tells all these stories. It tells it so well. It's like it's reenactments. I feel like I recognize some of the actors that are playing like the cops and stuff. Yeah, there's some really good voice acting in it. Yeah, listen to it from the beginning because it's not it's episodic. It's not. Yeah. And you need to know because there's all these it's all connected. It's like it's amazing. So good. That was great. Thank you. Cleveland. Cleveland. Cleveland. We'll see you soon. We'll see you soon. Okay. All right. Good job us. Good job us. That was really fun. 2018. 2018. Let's do it. More haunted trains in the background of 2018. I can't ever move from here or else we're not gonna have a haunted train. And how it's the best. Should we

start recording from a fucking train train boxcar boxcar from the dining car of a train where we have to wear like 40s outfits and those pillbox hats with netting down the front martinis snoots martinis with tons of olives. I mean here's the thing if more if we get threatened by nuclear war even just a little bit more. I feel like I should start drinking again. I feel like nothing bad will happen. I think wait till the first bomb is dropped. Okay. And then I support you. But then you're right. You're right. I'm gonna be a bummer if you died of a seizure before you could die of nuclear holocaust. Wait till you're ready to die of a seizure. Okay. Promise me. But here's the thing. Just as an FYI the liquor and the seizures are not

directly related. The reason I can't drink is because my medicine is bad on my liver. Oh. So you can't you basically like will like speed yourself and deliver failure if you keep drinking. But it's it's not good for it. But it won't immediately make me have a seizure. Okay. If we so how and tell how long. I think I got a good six months bender in me before I drop. I don't think that we're going to be around that much longer. Okay. I think this holocaust this nuclear holocaust is coming. Now this is the end where we say something positive. Well I guess the upswing after the murder. I had such a good time doing jack shit over the holidays that I'm like you know what when the nuclear events are going to hold up in here we've got water we've got cat food. I

will like to say this. Do you know that I got an argument with someone about how I wouldn't eat my cats. What the fuck. And they were like you have to. I just remembered I got really mad at this guy. My friend's cousin at the magic castle. Good. Because we got in this argument about like you didn't you did what you would eat your cats. I'm like I'd kill myself before you my cats if I'm like if I have to and he's like no you wouldn't like fuck you. I got so mad. And I was like why am I talking to this guy internally. Also first of all have you ever seen this cat there's not a ounce of meat on his body. That's what I was saying for what three extra days. That's just giblets. Yeah. And you got nothing going on in that cat. That pouch on his belly is just skin.

That's yeah you could you could chew on it. Yeah. Still. So I'd have three extra days of living knowing I'd eaten my cat. I'd rather just die. Sorry why are we entertaining this. This is a person that someone's cousin you don't even know them and they're telling you how you would be. Do they know that my cats have Instagram account. Yeah. They don't know shit about your kids. Because they're cats are money makers. You're not going to eat them. I love my cats so much that I have an Instagram account for them. Yeah. I'm not going to eat them. That's the only way to prove love anymore. I know. Yeah. Like when a vet tries to tell me about how to take care of my cats I'm like they have an Instagram account. Clearly that's like all I think about. And then you slam

the door. Yeah. And they have sixty six hundred followers. Bill me. Anyhow. So peace and love to everybody. Oh this is what I was going to say. Don't take the nuclear strike off your worry table. OK. Because there are just reams and loads of people in between. There is no button on his desk. OK. That's not how it's happening. Yeah. And there's people. There's things happening. Do you think that they put like a one of those staples. We got you got that buttons on his desk and like here. And it goes bing bong. Pressing. Yeah. Yeah. There's it's not it's not going to go down like that. OK. All right. I'll worry about other things in the meantime. I feel like I feel like there's so much to worry about. And that one is so overarching as a child of the as a true child

of the nuclear age. Right. Where that was actually a true concern of ours like they would talk to us about it in school. Yeah. That's how old I am. Don't do that to yourself because it's just you know it's just because in the dark thing to say but it's like because you maybe the thing you should be worried about is getting hit by a bus like you just don't know. Yeah. We don't know. I'm thinking globally and I with problems and I need to think locally. You need to act locally. Yeah. That's right. Locally with problems and I need to make you a martini clearly. Oh man. Yeah. I'm just saying I'm just saying and I know I've said this before I'm really good being a drunk. I'm just like I don't slur. I don't try to tell you secrets. I don't fucking do anything

that I want to hang out with you and give you a drink because I bring all this other stuff at the table. Slurring and secrets are my favorite. How do you feel about fistfights because I think as a girl you probably haven't gone into the realm the way you could have the way you can. I've been in one fistfight. Do you know that the I do I've never actually gotten into fistfight but one time in a total whiskey blackout at on New Year's at the San Francisco punchline in the 90s. I a girl leaned across the bar and started yelling at the bartender. Now it could have been his girlfriend. She could have been doing a bit. It was a comedy club. I do not know what was going on. All I know is the next thing I did is grab her finger and

twist her back and look because it the bartender was really nice and it made me like what she was doing was so fucking irritating to me and then the next thing I knew there was a big circle of people standing way back from me and the girl was crying and going why did you do that and then I was like uh-oh what did I do I had no idea what I did oh my god and then my friend like basically had to usher me out because I was like wait what happened but I didn't know that I'd finger assaulted her you're not getting a drink I'm sorry it it gets pretty serious pretty quick um but it sounds fun it is fun well you know what it is because you know sometimes you go out and nothing happens that would never happen with me there's always something is going to go down oh man all right

last day on the planet yeah meet me here great with a bottle of well let's go out let's meet here and then we're gonna go somewhere okay yeah we'll start here and oh and you know Vince is like the funniest drunk that's he's the greatest yeah and he'd probably be able to keep me in line yeah I would Stephen you're our designated driver perfect no Stephen you're gonna do last day Uber uh-huh and well it'll be advanced we'd pick people up yeah so that sounds nice over and in meantime I'll start doing some research about one of those weird hidden bunkers with like that holds 500 people we'll figure out where there is one that a man's been working on for years we'll go have a rave since the 80s and we'll just collect up drugs we'll get people who have good drugs okay good

liquor good personalities and we'll all go into a mountain lots of dogs dogs would be fun but then there's cats he can go in like a backpack or something okay um all right all right great that's my happy thought perfect I feel like we just did that yeah I mean I think that's we covered that there's lots to be stressed about these days but also don't forget in your stress then also just start making up a fun plan okay to kind of counteract your stress it's I think it's a it relieves tension something to look forward to for sure okay I like it okay thanks for listening you guys welcome to 2018 guys we're so happy to be in this year with you yeah we're gonna do it we're gonna we're gonna make this year count we are uh so stay sexy and don't get murdered bye Elvis you want

cookie whoa that was a good one he's right there he's so ready