My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 123 - Live at Vicar Street in Dublin

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

Karen and Georgia cover the Stoneybatter Strangler and Colin Whelan. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I was gonna kick off my own thing, the night's the night, I start speaking Gaelic to everybody. Ah, you didn't know. This is so cool, this is the first show of our big tour, our European tour. Which you are not the UK, and I know that. You're not. You're not. You have nothing to do with it. I know that.

Fucking totally separate place. We knew it. We all knew it. We knew it. Whoever was posting on my Instagram yesterday was fucking lying. Someone broke into your Instagram and started posting, like, rumors that you think Ireland's in the UK? That's so embarrassing.

I mean, can I, do I have to say it? Fire Stephen. Stephen! Out! He's not here. Nope. He's not in his usual spot. That means no.

Listen, the cats aren't gonna take care of themselves. That's right. Well, and also there's no fucking way we're paying for Stephen's ticket to Europe. Fuck you, bro. He knows. Oh man. I know. Sorry, we haven't done a live show in a while.

This is insanely exciting. And it really is. Also, I don't even know what my sleep pattern is right now because I stayed up till 5 in the morning last night and then woke up at, like, almost 1 p.m. Yeah. And then I was like... 20 minutes later, I texted you. You texted me.

You just woke up 20 minutes later. I was like, I just woke up. I beat you. We don't know where we are. It's crazy. Guys, it's a whole day. This is interesting, isn't it? The last time we did a show was in Los Angeles where we lived.

So it was all our friends. You live there too. So it was all my family. Los Angeles, what's interesting is Los Angeles is a part of the UK. And that's the thing. It seems like a lot of people don't understand. So that's our message on the European tour. Yeah.

Is to really get the word about LA. Yeah. It's being connected to... We've started to go fund me. It's important work. It is. So can you talk about all the people coming to your hotel room? Just what we found out.

Well, we stayed indoors because when we go on trips like this, big tours where we have shows right in a row, every single day right in a row, we like to save up all the work we're supposed to do and then just do it at the hotel like the day before. And a panic. It's really fun. It's best for storytelling. Yeah. Just to create the pressure.

Well, the first experience I had was... I don't know if you guys are aware, but it's quite hot here in Dublin. Today. Thanks for the weather, you guys. I brought all kinds of cashmere sweaters and layers and rain gear. I was ready to look like fucking Paddington Bear and instead it's like on the bunk. So when I got into my hotel room, it was, I don't know how you guys do it, 14 degrees whatever the fuck, however you do it.

I mean, higher is hotter. Well, it was like, to us it was 90. So I'm just standing there. And I think, you know, hotel thermostats are, they're just a plastic thing on the wall that they give you to press to make you feel like you have control over your environment, which you do not. So I stood there pressing and pressing where I was like, I'm just too, this is too hot and I can't just sit in a hot room with jet lag.

And so I called down, I was like, sorry, can somebody come up here and fix this thermostat. And they're like, well, send someone. I love fix it because it's not, it's broken. It's totally broken. It's not me. I did the same thing. It's not. It's broken.

Fix it. Not user error at all. So quick, pretty soon after someone knocks the door, I open the door. It looks like a younger, hotter MMA Gerard Butler. What? What? I have no relatives that look like you. What the fuck is going on?

I was not ready. A bonus is that you, it was just when you got there. So like if they had come today, like all your shit, like my whole room was a fucking pig side by like, you know, 24 hours after I'm in there. Yeah. No, I was, I looked very tidy. Well, my things looked very tidy, but I clearly have been traveling for 12 hours. So I was kind of like, I'm trying to turn to the side, you know, like, come on in.

Suck, suck, suck. And he, of course, goes over to the fucking thermostat and he presses one button and it kicks on immediately. I was just like, fine, it was a trick to get you in here. Fine. You might as well stay. But this was my favorite. And I've never heard this slang before when he went to leave, he goes, if there's any other

drama, just call me up. And I was just like, I wasn't being dramatic. It was really hot. It was really fucking hot. There, I get it. But then I turned the TV on and I kind of couldn't make it go. I'm like, I should fucking call that guy. TV's totally dramatic.

Dramatizing me. Yeah. That's it. You're a pre-entered kickoff. Hey, what are you wearing? She's already looking at the notes. Hey, what the? Well, I'm sweating.

Here's the problem. I'm sweating and I forgot to bring deodorant on this trip with me. So I'm wearing Vince's deodorant. So I'm going to smell like a fucking dude. Let's do it. Oh, yeah. Smell that. That smells like going to a dance, like dancing with a guy that's in junior high.

Yeah. It was the last time we did that. It's been a while. But I miss it. I miss it terribly. It's kind of better than mine though because it's like clear and stuff. So I'm not getting like those, you know. I just have everything better.

You're so obsessed with going to Boots and getting some kind of like... Boots? I can't... That was such a weird... You're just yelling Boots back at us. And in a way that we can't tell if you like it or you fucking hate it. You're like, yes, Boots! Don't go there!

Somehow we're staying the word, the B-O-O-T-S word wrong. Boots. How do you say it? She doesn't know. Nobody knows. Nobody knows! We're not mispronouncing fucking Boots. That I know.

That I know. You were so mad already. The show just started. We're out of here. Boots. You were going to pick one person to be the translator. Oh yes, that's right. Is there anybody that's from Dublin that's sitting near the front?

I think they look nice. Okay. Okay. Are you suspicious in any way? We're not going to make fun of you. What's your name? Emily. It's Emily.

So... As the show goes, thanks Lighting Guy. As the show goes on, when we mispronounce things or we don't know what we're talking about or we say something and we're totally wrong, Emily, you just throw a hand up. Would you please? Yeah. Okay. I think we need to do this every show.

She already has her hand up. Man, she's going to get so tired. Her arm's going to get carpal tunnel. My sister has something. I'm her sister. It's not Valic. It's Gaelic. Gaelic.

I fucking said Gaelic. You know what? You're out. You're both out. Oh, that sister shit. Okay, here we go. What's your name? Louise.

Louise. Do you think that I said Gaelic or Gaelic? No, you said Gaelic. I fucking said Gaelic, Emily's sister. I said Gaelic. Oh, shit. She's been drinking since three. Can we get these two escorted out, please?

Immediately kicked out of the show you've been waiting to see. Sorry. Sorry, wait. Tell me your name again. Louise. It's Louise. Louise. Louise.

Yeah, one of us. Well, I want to go to a store and buy a bunch of shit, basically, is what we're trying to say. If it's store name boots, pennies. It's going to be pennies. Oh, you... Okay. J.C. pennies?

Do you have that? Yeah. Pennies is better than boots. Louise. Oh, man. Pennies is the shit. Louise says pennies is good, Emily, so that's what we're going with. We were...

I feel horrible right now because we were at a bar that's for tourists last night, which we didn't know until we were there. It's the oldest bar in the world. The brazen head. Yeah. It's wonderful. Oh. And it was great.

But we heard the loudest American person at the bar and we were just like, fuck. She's here right now. I'm telling you. Don't say where she's from. It was like... It was a girl. Like we get seated and we're eating and then all of a sudden we hear like... And I turned to Vince in Georgia, I was like, is she a fucking opera singer?

Her voice is filling this room, but it was like, I actually don't really... I mean... No way. I'm actually here from whatever town she's from, and I think it's really amazing where I'm like, it's so amazing you have to scream at the top of your lungs. And she's telling this dude who clearly has no fucking interest in it, like about her flight and about like... No one cares how long it took you to get anywhere, just FYI.

Yeah. If you're going to be boring, please whisper. That's Americans. Americans. We're not... Listen. Because a whisper for us is a whisper for us. Yeah.

Whispering for everybody else is normal talking. Yeah. Yeah. Whispering for us. That's normal talking for the rest of the world. There's also someone here either tonight or we'll be here tomorrow night, who when we went through... Customs.

Customs. Should we go through customs? Oh, shit. It was... He was like... He was this great little guy, and he... Not a little guy. He wasn't little.

He was fine. He was like a normal size person. He's just a normal guy. Cute fellow. And he was like, you know, what are you... You're an accent. I can't. Don't make me do the accent in front of people.

I think it's good. People who actually have the accent. I think it's good. But I also told her that she can't do it unless she also is fake drunk. Oh, that's right. But I can't accuse the customs guy of being fake drunk at work. That's dangerous government shit. But he basically said, what's the purpose of your visit?

Something like that? How's that? And then we were like, we're here for... Because it's so hard to tell people, like, we're here for a show. We're doing a comedy show. We're doing a live... You don't want to tell a guy who's like letting us in the country or not that we're doing a murder thing?

Yeah. Well, it turns out we love murder. And so we've come to your country to visit. Your murder. We've just been studying your murders here. Just interested in how you kill and where you kill. Yeah. Not really why, but...

So we just said that we're here to do a live podcast. And then he said, what's the name of it? And George just said, my favorite murder. And he goes, all right, I heard all about it. There was a girl, an American lass came through here on Friday. And she told me all about it. She was insane. See?

You can't talk about murder, it's in chill. So if she's here for... Just doing an impression of my grandmother. I don't... That's all. I don't know how accurate it is. And he found out her name and I forgot it, if you can believe it. But you know, we thank you for that.

Have a feeling just... There are people just on the ground explaining to strangers what they're doing and how they're doing it with us. Karen invited them to the show. I did. She's clearly not here or she'd be screaming at this point. Yeah, I think so. Oh, she's here.

Are you here? No. That's... No. Really? No. That sounded like a cat just got murdered in the back of it. Let's make that girl come up here and fucking explain what he looked like right now and

see if she's telling the truth and then kick her out if she's wrong. No, I would never do that. So then we went outside the airport and we got a cab. And this guy was like out of Irish Central Casting of like a gruff Irish cab driver. He had no interest in us at all. He was just trying to get his shit out of the airport area, I think. And... Yeah, he yelled at a guy who was like crossing too slowly in front of us and was like, yes,

I like this guy. Yes. He like yelled out the window. Like... Out the open window. Go slower. Go slower. He yelled sarcasm.

That's how you know you're in Ireland. It wasn't rage-based. It was pure sarcasm. I actually, Georgia got into the back seat, Vince went to get in the back seat, so I was like, oh, I'll get in the front seat, walked around, went to get into the driver's side. Of course. Was so shocked by that steering wheel, I was like, what kind of car is this? Is this a trainer car where you learn how to drive a cab or something?

See, we drive on the other side, you guys. That's the explanation. It's different. And of course, I was immediately so embarrassed and turned around and said sorry, and he goes, I don't mind. And then got in the car. Again, a joke that comes off as anger and rage, but you're just like, oh, but you're kidding.

I was like trying to explain to Georgia, like, that's why I am the way I am. I was raised. I get it a little. I get it. Right? Yes. There's a gruff love to everything. It's kind of like holding back, watching you, judging you, loving you.

Right? That's how you do it. I get it. I think I get you a little more now. And then it's like, well, when you're drunk and be like, I want to tell you a secret. It's like, I actually really like you, even though I don't act all nice because that's lame. You act like people bug you until you figure out whether or not they have a sense of humor

and then you like them or at least that's me and that's how me and the cab driver do it. I don't know if that's, it's a generalization. I don't know if that's everybody. Everyone's like, she's totally wrong and she's calling us assholes at the same time. That's how we kick off the show. Oh, by the way, this is my favorite murder. Thank you.

That's Karen Kale-Garrett. That's Georgia Hartstaff. Dublin, God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. Oh, tell them about your, your plunging neckline. I forgot my slip. So usually, we, usually we don't bring the girls out like this.

It's not, it's not my style. Usually a two person show. But now we're a quartet. I just figured 2018 we're going to, we're going to have the girls start earning their keep and really, you know, they've got a free ride for so long. Right. Tits out. My favorite murder.

Tits out in 2018. I am the opposite kind of person and I took my, my, my black bra that I brought along special for the occasion. Yeah. And when we were on the plane, I did the thing. I took it off because I'm like, I wear to the, like the, what is it called? Airport. Just to be like, I'm not, I'm not horrible.

Like you can serve me stuff and I'm not the worst. This is what society wants from you. I brought the airport. Like just be like, I'm not wearing sweats. So I take it off in the plane and like sit on it. And then I'm like, I'll get it later. I didn't, I forgot to get it later. So there's got a nice 34 B black non underline bra on some British Airways plane.

If you want it, it's yours. That's a freebie for the next person. People would be like, oh, that's just a thong that someone snapped in half. But that's the point is that's why I'm wearing a white bra. And I apologize. It's fucking tacky as shit. My mom would be so pissed off at me. Georgia.

It's very day class A. Yeah. But it doesn't matter because we're not in the UK. You know how those UK are. No rules apply. Woo. Yeah. We don't care here.

Exactly. And when I go to pennies, I'll get a bra. I can do that. Fucking pandering, pandering, pandering. I'm saying words. We don't know what they mean. So you will cheer for us. Yeah.

The best. Yeah. Steven's not here as we said. Just to bring it down. Right. Okay. Now we can. Okay.

He got that. Let's talk about how I'm really feeling. There you go. Steven, everyone misses you. No. He's being very sweet and sending lots of photos of the cats. Like close up. So in a way that I don't, I think I'm too old to understand.

What if when you come back from this trip, the cats have somehow written you a note that's like Steven's too intense for us. We don't. We can't be cats sat by him anymore. We know that you think your dad hates cats. We like that he hates cats. He leaves us the fuck alone. We're standoffish.

We want them to be standoffish. Yeah. Steven's like. And then, but then he did a thing. Oh, he's good. He fucking did a thing where like last night he was editing a minisode for this week and he wrote like, oh, Elvis heard your voice and came over and like Elvis is right there listening to my voice, which isn't true.

No, he's not. He's a cat. He doesn't care. But that's what I did. Oh my God, my baby. You know, but I know I'm not fucking stupid. Like he's a cat. I think I'm really rubbing off on you.

Yeah. It's really true. No, he's not. He's a cat. Although that's not true because it really is true at this point. By the time we're done recording at Georgia's apartment, it's almost like he knows that in like two hours or an hour and a half have gone by. He's like, wrap it the fuck up.

Because he comes and sits on her lap. And the second she says Elvis, you want to go, he's like, like, he knows. He knows it. When we're like toning it down and we're like, all right, this has gone on for too long. He's like sitting on. Yeah, he comes up. Yeah, he knows. I know he's a cat, but he's really smart.

Like Siamese are really smart. He's just so handsome. I would like to say I was here in, I think it was 2001. I came to visit just for a vacation and this is just a fun story that I remembered my friend and I, my friend and I, thank you. I'm gonna take my time. Could I get a spotlight? My friend and I got into a rental car when I just fall backwards and die.

What a way to go. Um, we got a rental car and I was the only one that had the guts to drive it. It was a fucking stick shift and we're driving on the wrong side of the road. And, uh, we just decided we'd like had a map. This was like pre, you know, modern life. So we had a paper map and we were just like, let's just drive up one of these highways. It's got a letter and a number. See where we go.

And we'll say what happened. Let's just play it by ear. We went as far up the west coast as we could and but like we ended up getting out of the car. I don't know how we found this. I think it was like, I don't know. We basically went up to a fence. We, we opened it and closed it.

What? I don't think you're supposed to do that. Well, and we walked over this hill and it was right, we were on the coast, right? We walked right down to the edge of the world, to the edge of this island. And we're like, holy fuck. And it was like an insanely high drop. It was, you know, several stories. Yeah.

We sat on the edge of it with our feet over the side and we're like, this is amazing. And then this like storm rolls in so we can see the clouds coming. Like it was unbelievable or just sitting here like, this is amazing, whatever. So before it gets close to us and starts raining, we got up and we walked back. And we were so worried about, I'm sitting here like, oh, is she going to be okay? It was like fucking 20 years ago and I'm worried. And then I take my leg off. That's the day.

Oh my God. She's been saving it this whole time. I had to save it for Dublin. No, but we get up and we leave and we go to the, we check into like whatever hotel we find in the little city that's near there. And when we check in, the guy at the counter says, oh, you should go check out the cliffs. And he goes, but be careful. Don't go near the side of your tourists die up there all the time.

They get blown right off the side all the time. We fucking went and sat. No, like literally swung our legs and we're like, this is such a great vacation. And like we're both just went all white. We're like, sounds good. Yeah, we won't, we won't do that at all. This is why I have anxiety to save my life. Yes.

I save lives. She can be sick because I've never sweated so much in my fucking life. I'm totally sweating. All right, let's sit down. Let's sit down. Look at these. These are kind of, these chairs are from a disco, aren't they? Like these are legit comedy club chairs.

There we go. And it goes down a little. Oh, okay. There we go. Hmm. Don't worry. I shaved my legs, which is great because you guys are so close, but I'm sweating profusely. It's hot.

It's summertime. Oh, it's not Q and A. Oh my God. She has deodorant. Are you serious? It's yours? She just found it on the ground, I think. It's fucking brute. It's brute.

What is happening? Oh, she's putting it on. Thank you. Wow. Daryl. Daryl, how come you bring deodorant to comedy shows? Is this yours or did you find it on the ground? It's yours.

Thank you. For moments like this. Whoa. You don't. No. I would never do that. And a quick. Thank you so much.

Thank you. The whole place. Beautiful, Daryl. Golfs and Flames. Good call. Thank you. Shit. What are the chances?

Oh. Karen. Do you have any head bandages? Because I'm going to need those later. This is okay. And now it really smells like a seventh grade boy out here. It's strong. It's strong, but I'm not sweating.

It's just staying in my body and toxin me. Good. Instead of detoxing me. Mm-hmm. You know. That's what we want. That's what we want. It's probably in my water.

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I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast Killer Psyche Daily, I share a quick 10-minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths, and cold-blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent, and criminal profiler. On Killer Psyche Daily, I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly arrested Stockton Serial Killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia, and even

host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning questions. Hey Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast Killer Psyche Daily in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. All right, we didn't decide how, who's going to go first, right, because now we're all off. We recorded like four episodes before we left to cover us while we were gone. And then we usually have photos, and Steven like put some in order, and so we, but we

thought it'd be better to be more intimate and not have photos, guys. You don't need photos. That's why. You're clapping. You don't know why you're clapping. Dude, I hate photos. I can't see that grave. Anyway.

I can't see so good. Do you want to go first? You want me to go first? Oh, we usually are going to decide based on whose murder would be better to end on, less of a bummer. How recent is yours? 2001. I think you should go first.

Okay. This is a true crime slash comedy podcast, so that can be a little delicate. It's a conversation. We talk about heavy shit, but sometimes we're lighthearted about it. If that's going to bother you, you should get the fuck out. I'd also like to say that those of you who did wandering off the street, thinking that this wasn't going to be like this because my name is George on the ticket, and you thought that maybe there'd be at least one man up here, taking care of shit, you've been missing

for, get the fuck out of here, my name is Georgia, but if there's like, there's somebody in the audience is like, I was guaranteed a man would be on stage, what are they going to do? They have no guidance or leadership. Okay. You're fucking asking for it, dude. Full rotation. Okay, so mine, yeah, good call on ending on the later one.

Okay. Okay. This is about the fucking asshole, Colin Whelan. Just them. All right. So Colin Whelan, he first meets 19-year-old Mary Goh, thank you. Hold on, Louise. Goh.

Thank you. Sorry, we don't know how to read in America. Or do you want to research, apparently? Watch one. Okay. Goh in 1993. So Mary is working at a pub called the Huntsman Inn, she's this lovely young lady, she was born in 1973, she's the only girl of six, and she's the second to youngest, so these

fucking dudes or her brothers adore her, she's like the light of the family. So Colin, he is born in 1971, he's born into like a nice middle-class family from Gors Gormanstown. Gormanstown. Gormanstown. Gormanstown. She doesn't even know what you're talking about. She doesn't know.

Karen, you say that. What? Gormanstown. Really? It's never what you think it's, you're always like, it has to have some weird fucking sound in the middle of it, because everyone yells at us, and then it just looks like it. We have PTSD, we have pronunciation PTSD, we have been verbally assaulted by entire cities, because we didn't say they're fucking local town, right?

All across America, people have screamed and screamed at us, which started our, we began a crusade, and it's called Spell It Like You Say It, and we're just asking people to please. All right, okay, so here we go. So Collins from, it's a better suburb of Dublin, he is a computer analyst with a background in IT. He gets this well-paid job with the banking giant Irish Permanent. You guys work there. They love it.

This is their yearly conference tonight. Oh, you guys had a holiday this weekend, we did. Oh yeah. You guys are way less shit-faced than I would have expected for a bank holiday, and I want to say we appreciate it. I just love that we, I kept seeing commercials for like furniture stores, but it was like bank holiday sale, where I was like, what the fuck is this bank holiday situation? It's a big deal.

So he works there for like nine years, he's big time, and so Mary's brothers describe her as beautiful, funny, intelligent, easygoing, and a straight talking girl. And Collin is her first boyfriend, which we all fucking know, except for the ones who married them, and they're here with them tonight. Good cover, good cover. Good cover. Thank you, thank you. Well done.

Thank you. There's always some girls like, I know, but I got a good one, and you're like, alright. Alright, fine. Keep it. Fine. So, she's from Stal Mullen, Stal Mullen, close enough. Let Louise say it. Louise.

She doesn't know. You can't do it. We're back to Emily. Get her out of here. What do you call it? Stal Mullen. Stal Mullen. Stal Mullen.

Stal Mullen. Stal Mullen. No. They're claiming that he wants to see it. There's too many. Well, he all night. Spell it. Oh, oh.

They're saying, I thought they were pronouncing the word, so I said spell it, but they're like, spell it. Oh. Spell the word. Oh, it's that city spelling over in, um, on the east side. I'm not, I'm not saying any more places. So we're good. Spell the word and they'll tell you.

Okay. I'm going to, because they asked the same thing and then we yelled at them. Oh, I see. And then we attacked Louise. S-T-A-M-U-L-L-E-N. And. But if everybody says it at the same time, it sounds like nothing. Do you understand?

It can only be Louise. It's your big chance, Louise. She hates it. Shout it out. Stal Mullen. Stal Mullen. Yes. We might have to get your, your own mic.

Give her that deodorant. Pass the deodorant to Louise. So Collin becomes Mary's very first boyfriend, um, and her mother, they liked Collin, but her mother said that she thought that Mary loved too much, loved him too much. I know. In August, 1970, they started dating in, um, where was I, uh, 90, where did I, 93. In August of 97, Collin buys a house, and Bal Brigham, yeah, that's right, feel it, love it, take it inside.

I'm doing it. It's happening. Your victory is real. Uh, if you just keep failing when you get one little victory, people are like, good job. Yeah. In 98, they get engaged and they move in together. So Mary's mother, Marie, has misgivings, of course, about Collin and the control that he exerted over her, saying that, um, he insisted she would dress down and not be like revealing,

but meanwhile he was fucking checking out girls, all the ladies all the time, you know. He would not approve of this dress. Absolutely not. I mean, it is a bit nuts. Um, then, so Mary, she's 27 now and she's planning their September 2000 wedding. Meanwhile, uh, he, Collin, makes a visit to their financial planner secretly, and he doubles their life insurance policy so that the surviving partner would get 400,000 euros of your money euros.

You know what your money is called and so do we, so we don't even have to say it. It's a bank holiday. Let's not, let's stop talking about money. You guys are so greedy. We don't want to talk about money. Don't be so superficial that you need to hear the name of what your money is called. So it would get 400,000 if one of them died within 10 years of marriage, which seems like it shouldn't be a thing to be like betting on how long they'll live in the marriage.

It shouldn't be allowed. No, it's like, but if you die within five years, you'll get this, this is not a fucking contest. In September 2000, after dating for seven years, excuse me, they're married, apparently allergies can come to Dublin with you and you're carry on, they're married after dating seven years. They're married. Uh, and at this point Mary's working in a solicitor's office in Swords, Swords, seriously?

What the fuck? I tried to put a spit on it. Thank you. You guys are so supportive. Uh, okay, and she's of course highly regarded as by colleagues because fucking everything sucks. So Colin, which is the name of my ex fiance, so of course I fucking hate this guy even more.

Stupid name. I love to hear the subtext of these stories. You're just filled with rage. Adding my own bullshit into this, like that I should take out in therapy instead of on stage. I think this is therapy. I mean, um, so that means I pay you guys $150 at the end of this, 150 L with two lines in it.

So after just four months of marriage, Colin starts an online relationship with a woman named Helen who is, who lives in Wales and he, that's in the UK. He, he says to her that he starts bragging about how he's about to get 400 euros because his wife had died in a car crash. It might not be euros. It is. Let's consult Louise. Pounds.

That's what I said, did not say that. Well, I didn't mean that. Thank you for catching that. Thank you. 400,000. That's a lot more. I just, I feel like I need to warn you now, Louise. You are absolutely going to be attacked at some point, but it's very vulnerable to have

to go to you for every fucking word you say. We're going to send you to therapy after this. We understand 400,000. So he is bragging to this woman, Helen, who has no fucking clue what's going on that, uh, yeah, his wife had died in a car accident years earlier, so he's going to get that money. And he made up a nickname for her to call him, Furry Bear. As opposed to what other kind of bear, you know, that sad one that you've seen without hair.

Like a chair noble bear. Yeah. Yeah, dude, redundant bear. So the relationship gets intense. She's like, we're falling in love. They, they, um, email each other sometimes dozens of times a day. You remember that. Yeah, emails probably remember in 2001 when you can have an online relationship with someone

and it like meant something and people and your friends weren't like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. Cause we didn't know. Uh, and they have phone calls. He sends her photos of him with his photo face, his face of his photo superimposed over a fucking weight lifter's body. And I think she finds out and thinks it's like funny, but it's not.

He doesn't, he does not mean it funny. It's not like he's like, look, I'm a meme or anything. Yeah. It's before that. There's no memes. It's 2001. Free meme time. Yes.

He, so I also bet that Photoshop is insanely shitty. So it was like his head with a black ring around it. Yeah. Part of a bar. Two ear, like his real ear and then the ear from a weight lifter. And of course his face is normal Irish white and then the bodybuilder's body is like a hot dog's color, um, yeah. So then they plan to meet for the first time.

He's like, makes up a bullshit thing that he's going to Germany for work to go get muscles. And so he plans, they plan to meet on March, uh, second, 2001. She's all excited about it and then doesn't hear from him after that. So it turns out the day before they're set to meet on February 28th, 2001, at 16.00 minutes past midnight, Colin calls 9, 9, 9, 9. That's what you guys call it. They know. I know.

I know. I don't know why I told them we're having a hard adjustment period and asks for an ambulance. He claims that his wife, Mary had fallen down the stairs. He tells the operators he didn't think she was breathing. And so he was talked through CPR and heart massage by the operator and made a show of carrying them out. Of course. We're not going to play the sweep.

The 9, 1, 1, 9, 9, 9 call. Okay. The ambulance. I would walk off the stage. The ambulance arrives at 1230 and immediately paramedics are like, there's some shady shit going on. They can tell because, uh, Mary's position was not consistent with someone who had fallen down the stairs or someone who had gotten CPR and, uh, there's no blood on, uh, his

face from having given her mouth to mouth, even though there's blood on her face. So they also found Mary with, uh, like a duvet or a quilt resting over her, which they thought was weird and they, and her body was too cold to have had it just happen, you know, a half hour earlier. And most telling though, they found a blood soaked towel around her neck and they work frantically to save her and calling coldly asks, is she dead? And they were like, this is fucking not okay. And then with, within minutes of Mary's arrival at the hospital, Beaumont hospital, questions

are raised from the medical staff. This nurse sister, Catherine Galvin, she, um, she is like, what the fuck you have scratches on your chest. And so goes over to Gardi, Garda. And it's like, yo, check this guy out. Gardi sounds like some dude that's standing in the corner at the hospital. You know, Gardi, he has a bunch of cigarettes. You can, you can always bum a cigarette from Gardi, you know, so yeah, so she notices

that. And then the, um, the doctor who's trying to resuscitate Mary notices marks on her neck and chest, which suggests that she hadn't fallen down the stairs. I'm also at the hospital, Colin seems to have no remorse or no, like sadness over Mary's death. His mother, Marie, who's of course extremely close with her only daughter, goes up to him and is like, what happened? And he, she says, I walked up to Colin and he was sitting with his head in his hands

and I said, how's Mary? And he just said she was dead just like that. I couldn't get over it. I'll never forget the way he answered me. He was just sitting there. I was looking at everyone else roaring and crying and I didn't know what to think. So that's fucking shady. After that day, Dr. Marie Cassidy of the state pathologist company, she confirms the suspicions

of Garda and says that she had died of expectation. The story of what really happened that night was that as Mary was getting ready for bed, Colin came up behind her with the dress, the belt of a dressing gown and tries to strangle her, but she fucking fought like hell and scratched him up. Then that's what they saw at the hospital. And then she's unconscious. He drags her down the stairs and sits and covers her body with the blanket so that he could disguise her time of death, like trying to keep her warm, which is fucking insane.

And then has time to clean up the crime scene. But he overlooked traces of blood. So when they go through the house, they find all this shit. Yeah. Then this guy is a fucking IT specialist with his own company and yet the Garda searched his computer and found that within weeks of setting up the insurance policy prior to their wedding, Colin was looking at different ways to kill Mary. Fucking googling this shit.

I don't think Google exists yet. What was it then? Ask Jeeves? He was binging that shit? He was binging the shit out of it. That was an innocent time, like 2001, where people thought, oh, I'll just put this into my own computer and no one will be the wiser. Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn.

And then you hit clear history. Clear history, you're done. It's cleared. What are cookies? Elvis just walks out of the stage. Oh, that'd be, oh my God. What if we don't bring Steven on tour, but we do bring Elvis? That's so insulting.

That's just rude. Just plain rude. That would be great. So some of the searches this fucking idiot goes for are, asphyxiation, loss of consciousness, how long to take to die from asphyxiation, lack of oxygen to the brain, and death by strangulation. He just should have put, I won't kill my wife in there. What should I do step by step, tell me exactly?

So, but somehow, and I think it's probably because of arrogance, despite being a computer analyst, he just didn't realize that they could trace every movement on him. So maybe he didn't graduate at the top of his class. Probably not. Another creepy thing found on his computer was a downloaded transcript of a case from Northern Carolina regarding- North Carolina. Northern.

Same thing. North Carolina. We know that one. Why do I have to put a spin on it? I don't know. I mean, I feel like try to sound smarter and I just sound stupid. Now you doubt every word on the page. I do.

I'm so sweaty. Okay. I am too. I am too. Okay. Great. In North Carolina, which is in the northern part of Carolina. There's also South Carolina, hi.

All the fucking Carolinas. Shut up. Folks, okay, there's a case there regarding death by strangulation that's really similar. Basically he studied another murder case. In both cases, the bodies were wrapped in a blanket to keep the body warm. And they both involved the use of a towel to hide the marks around a victim's neck. And they found out about the affair. He had affairs both before and after marrying Mary, and he posted on a number of dating sites

trying to get sex and then other ones trying to get relationships. He's just a real piece of shit. So... Why do the relationship one? I don't know. I mean, not to be cynical. But isn't it, how much time do you have in your fucking day? That fucking arrogance, man.

I will get you. So a month after Mary's death on April 10, 2001, Collins charged with her murder. And the case was going to make legal history in that it would have been the first time that that virtual evidence was crucial because the internet searches would have been central to securing a conviction. That was the first time that would happen. Which is like, what an idiot. You know?

That's your legacy? Yeah. That's the guy that is the first person to be prosecuted for virtual evidence. Exactly. Way to go. Irony. This is the irony. He denies the fucking charges, of course, but the trial is set for October 13, 2003.

And he's fucking let on bail for some reason. It was going to be seven months later, and they're like, go ahead and wait at your house or wherever you want. Like, come on. And so, of course, his car is found, shortly after his car is found, abandoned at Houth, Houth, damn close. You won a two-choice on that one. It was a 50-50.

Right. Houth, which is an outer suburb of Dublin, and it's on Upper Cliff Road. Actually, it's on Upper Cliff Road, which is a set of Cliffs. What if it's the one you were thinking? Oh, my God. I was there. You were there. I was there.

You was in 2001, too. What if you looked over and you're like, wait, there was a man that was standing. Now that I think about it, I can see a man. So they find his car in the cliffs, you know, leading to people, some people assuming that he had committed suicide. His car is there, all his belongings were in the car, and I'm sure it was like, ooh, he committed suicide, but Mary's family was like, fuck that shit. No, he didn't.

They knew, they were like, I wrote, of course, Mary's family was like, oh, hell nah. And they were convinced that Colin had faked his own death, so they form a huge search party looking for him. But meanwhile, and it turned out they were right, of course, meanwhile, Colin had stolen the identity of a neighbor named Martin Sweeney, and Martin had never applied for a passport, so fucking Colin goes, Martin's my dad's name, and Colin goes, wow, it's all coming together. Oh my God.

So then he applied for a passport in this guy, Martin's name, gots the passport, and flees to Spain. He settles on an island called, and I wrote this phonetically, Mallorca. So that's the one you spell phonetically? No. The one nobody gives a shit about. So I guess it's not, it's an island that's not often frequented by Irish tourists. Are you drunk?

No, you've seen me for the past two hours backstage. I've just huffed a lot of deodorant in the past couple of hours. She's high on brute. So it, and he gets a job in a resort as a bartender, and he's just like living it up like Kokomo style, and he like fucking. You know he wore his shirt, like the first button was way down here. He was like, I'm a bodybuilder. It's me.

It's me, the Irish bodybuilder. He fucking makes friends, he gets a girlfriend, he's like, this is my life now asshole. But then he begins frequenting Irish bars in Palma Nova, which is like, you really like fucking number one and hiding your identity is like, don't go to the bar where people who are from the place you're hiding from hang out, hang out where you're going to get super drunk and then start going, wait, where are you from? Hi. So am I.

And I tell you a secret, I just, I'm a secret, I'm a secret, because you're my best friend. So I'm gonna tell you, I know we just met, I killed, I killed people. So, and he tells, he tells all his best friends that his parents are dead and he has no surviving relatives, which is like red flag, I think, right? Yes. Unless it's real, and then like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I doubted you, it sucks. It can go one of two ways. Either you're the asshole or they're the asshole.

But it's rare that somebody doesn't have like one old aunt sitting around somewhere. Or like someone who they keep in touch with on Facebook from elementary school, just one. Maybe two. Okay, so this, of course, this place, Santa, Ponsa, so he starts going to night spots in this other place, Santa Ponsa, that's like Ireland's favorite fucking place to hang out outside of Ireland. So, of course, in July of 2004, 16 motherfucking months after fleeing, that's a long time. That dude was spotted, he's, Cohen's spotted at the bar by someone from Dublin who was

like, um, and, and he gets extradited back to Ireland, yay. That person, it's fucking saved up for their vacation to Santa Puella, whatever it's called, motherfucking half of the bag, like, isn't it great to be the uh-oh? Or what if it was like, what if it was like, where do I know you from? Did we go to camp together? I didn't know you, I went to elementary school. Did we do highland dancing and grammar school together? Local references?

You don't like, okay. They don't want to. They're like, stop generalizing about us. You don't know us. A friend at the bar, a friend that he had worked with said there's nothing out of the ordinary about, they were all like, what the fuck? His girlfriend's devastated about the whole thing. Can you fucking imagine?

Oh my god. She had no idea who he really was. So she, the girlfriend thought he was dead too. She let him, no, no, no, the girl, Helen, girlfriend A is like, it's like, they knock on, she, he doesn't show up when he's supposed to. They knock on her door and they're like, we need to talk to you about your online boyfriend Colin. And she's like, oh my god, is he okay?

And they're like, yes, but, and she fucking is going to like testify against him. She kind of hate like, fuck this dude. This girlfriend is the island girlfriend and new girlfriend. And nobody had any idea. And she had no idea either. So like, you know, don't date people on islands. That's the point of that one. This is an island.

Shit. I'm just sweating so bad. This is high pressure. It's a high pressure situation. You had one job. Every move we make is wrong. Edit that out. So now this Colin is 34 years old at the time of the murder trial.

He expresses no emotion at the hearing. He just stands there with his head down. Just as Paul Carney told him, he, he, since he prolonged the Goff's family suffering when he refused to offer a quick trial while extradited, he's still being a dick. He also said that this quote, this has been the most calculating and callous killing I have ever encountered in my time in court. So in April 2005, he, Colin pleads guilty to the Mary, the murder of Mary at the sentencing. One of Mary's brothers spoke and said, our family is living a life sentence since her

murder and we'll always have to live with it. They won't, we won't get off for good behavior. Mary is gone forever and we can't run away. Like you fucking ran away. So just as Carney hands down a mandatory life sentence, the most severe sentence he could hand down, he said in normal circumstances, he would back date the sentence to the time I already spent in custody, but since Colin had later dazed from the state, he wouldn't. So he's like, oh fuck yourself.

So you're tacking on that 16 months and you're like, remember your island of vacation? You're going to pay. So Mary's brother, David, addressed Colin saying that the family would never, ever, ever, quote, forgive him because he took a piece of each of them when he killed Mary and quote, Mary's only crime was loving you too much. I know. And that's the murderer, Colin Whelan, of Mary Goff. Wow.

That's glad. That was amazing. Thank you. Thank you. That was great. Boy, I'm glad yours is next. I'm going to do Billy in the Bowl. Our gal.

Emily. Emily's the only one. Emily, stop it. Some also people know him as the Stony Batter Strangler. Now they get it. This was actually, this story was tweeted to us on our Twitter page by a Dublin theater group called Tales from the Shadows. Oh, it's Emily's theater room.

Oh my God. What are the chances? Here, stand up. Okay, what's your theater group all about? We do storytelling and shadow puppetry all together. We also just started a podcast. We've got two episodes so far. What's it called?

Tales from the Shadows. Silence of the Shadows? Sounds from the Shadows. Sorry. Sounds from the Shadows. Is it like a storytelling podcast? Yep. Represent.

Yeah. Storytelling podcast. All right. Well, I'm doing your story. No, thank you. That's awesome. Yeah, because you know what I was going to do? I had Alias Grace, that story that was just on Netflix, and I had it all researched.

Don't act sad. That's really rude, but then I realized it was an Irish girl, but the whole thing took place in Canada. So there was a picture in my mind, like, no one gives a shit about Canada. Then we got this tweet, and I was like... They don't want you getting the fucking places in Canada wrong. No. They want you doing it here.

This is, we need errors from the island. From this island. And then I... So I look up this, and so what Emily and her theater group did was they linked a video of...there's a video series called Story Maps, where people tell stories. Is it all... Europe or is it just Ireland? Just Dublin.

Oh, just Dublin. Okay. You guys have enough here. Jesus. Storymaps.ie, and it's really cool. There's just all these people telling local lore and local stories. Cool. Oh, good.

Other people are hot too. Okay, that's great. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. I forgot I could do this. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, you can do that. In this Story Maps video, it's a lovely young man named Bobby Ahern, who tells the story

of Billy and the Bull. Urn. Urn. Urn. Ahern. Okay. We have family friends named the Ahern's, and so I just fight every pronunciation. My grandma told me that I become the girl in the bar.

Bobby Ahern. And he is so charming. He tells the story so well. He's sitting in the Grange Inn. He's got a cup of tea in front of him, and he tells the story of Billy and the Bull, which is fucking nuts. Also there's a blog called Silent Owl, and they wrote up this story of it. There's a lot of great information, so I took from both of those.

So this man, Billy Davis, he was born sometime in the mid-1700s. So this is old, old, old. Right. Right. Good. And although not much is known about his early life, it's safe to assume that he was a beautiful, healthy baby boy, because the story about him and the kind of the overriding fact of the story of Billy and the Bull is that he was fucking hot.

He had a big mop of black hair, and he had green eyes, and he had like an aqualan nose and just gorgeous face. And so he was like, he was, he was dashing. He was a dashing haughty. That reminds me, I forgot to tell you guys, we saw Benicio Del Toro in the airport. Oh yeah. It was really exciting. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. He looked so hungover. It made me sad for him. Sorry. No. If he's here tonight. Apologies. What if he was flying over to Canada again?

Suddenly we pretend to be fans of Benicio Del Toro. I love everything you've done. Okay, so, uh, so Billy Davis was a hawkeye. Unfortunately he was born with no legs. So it wasn't supposed to be a joke, ma'am. Somebody's laughing insanely hard over there. So he ends up living in a place called the House of Industry, which is also known as the Dublin Poor House.

And so basically- That doesn't sound like what it means. No, I know. It's, it's, uh, they're trying to gild the lily on that one a little bit. The first House of Industry was built in 1703, where, where today the St. James Hospital stands. And- So they know that.

They know that. They know that. So it was maintained, this, I love this fact. It was maintained by the taxes that people paid for their sedanshares and their hackney carriages. I don't know what either of those things are. Sedanshares are those things that you see in like period movies, where four dudes carry a box with a rich lady inside on sticks.

No. Yes, that's a sedanshare. Oh, God. So it's like- I want to be like, fuck those women, but I bet their shoes hurt so bad constantly. And their, and their corsets. Everything about- And their oppression.

Being. All of it. Everything about it. Everything. I'm like, get on that box. Get in the box. But those people that had carriages and sedanshares had to pay an extra tax for them, and that tax went to pay for the house of industry.

I like that. It's kind of, you know, it's a good setup. Let's bring those back. Except for, the House of Industry wasn't the best place in the world, as I'm sure you all know and can imagine. In 1805, a man named Sir John Carr wrote something called The Historic Ireland. He described the House of Industry as, quote, a gloomy abode of mingled want disease, vice and malady, where lunatics were loaded with heavy chains and fallen women bound and lodged.

Shit. Yeah. That's heavy. No sedanshares inside of the House of Industry. Also you could, if you were a fallen woman, which what that meant you wore a dress like this, that basically you're fucking in there with all the worst of the worst, bound and lodged, which whatever that fucking means, I don't want to know. Good luck with that.

Okay. So also a political theorist named Alexis de Tocqueville described the conditions of the inmates that he saw during his investigative tour of Ireland in 1835 as the most hideous and disgusting aspect of destitution. Jesus. So it wasn't awesome there. They fed people, I think it said once or twice a day with a soup that they made from collected scraps from the great houses.

So wherever the rich people lived, they go buy and get the scraps from their shitty leftovers and then put all that in a bowl and make a soup. And they're like dinner time, everybody. On the one hand, I'm like, that's pretty cool, though, at least it's not from what the horses were eating. Well, I mean, that's very positive of you, but if they're noting it, it means it was bad. Yeah.

It means this soup sucked. So in 1773, this workhouse is reformed and it's split into a hospital for the mentally insane, a workhouse for the poor, and then a foundling hospital primarily used for the safety and education of the admitted children. Now, they start talking about this foundling hospital and it later comes under investigation because of the abnormally high mortality rates. It turns out four of the five children that are admitted to the foundling hospital die. Four of the fucking five.

And the investigations, they find strong evidence that lady is so drunk it is, she is at a totally different show. I'm reading about infant mortality rates and she is peeing her fucking pants. It's a bank holiday. It's a fucking bank holiday. What if it's a ghost? Oh my God. So the House of Commons stops allowing for new admissions to the foundling hospital in

1831. It took them 107 years to be like, you know what, it has to stop. Thousands of children have died. Like they're better off on the streets, just close the door. But well, let's wait one more year, okay, 107 years have passed, we're going to stop. So when it's reformed, this House of Industry in 1773, it turns out there's no place for Billy Davis because, and this is something good old Bobby Ehren read in his, in the story map story, that in the minutes book it said, quote, it is deemed resolved that the man

in the bowl is not a proper person and is to be discharged from the House of Industry. So they decide because he's handicapped, he is not a person. And they fucking kick him out, which sucks. So he's in the streets of Dublin. It's the mid to late 1700s now. And they say at the time 18th century Dublin was known for two things. All the amazing architectural buildings and beggars. That's what there's the most of everywhere.

And I guess candy and soda bread, yeah, I was hoping for it. Now you tried so, but, but the good news is things aren't all bad because somewhere along the line, a kindly blacksmith took pity upon Billy and they built him this weird early version of a wheelchair, which was basically a big huge iron bowl that he could sit in. And he stuck some wheels on it. And then Billy used two pieces of wood and pulled himself along in a bowl. And that's how he became known as Billy in the bowl. Holy shit.

So now picture this, when I first read this story, I didn't get that there were wheels on the bowl. So I just thought he was fucking straggling an iron bowl like the worst CrossFit workout of all time. And you know all the cobblestone streets, so it's just yarring at teeth. It's just the loudest, heaviest situation anyone could be in, but he was hot. And that's, we can always go back to that when things get hard. Is that up here, everything was working out great for him.

Because among all of the beggars, he actually was of course gorgeous and he was really charming. So he got a lot of pity and attention and people would give him money. He also made friends with a lot of the servant girls. And he, I think he stole from the house of industry style. So he would go back along the back of the great houses and they would give him scraps from the house. So he had ended up filling his bowl up. As Bobby Hearn in the video says, like a big shchew, he sits in his bowl like a big

shchew. Oh my God. Coins, little pieces of meat, I don't know, okay, and so basically this is, he is on the streets of Dublin for six years begging and, but he, he drinks any gambles. So as much as he makes and as well as he does being a beggar, a hot beggar on the street, you know, the money goes. So now I've lost my place. So he decides to embark on a life of crime.

So early one night in 1780 around dusk, Billy lays in wait until he sees a middle-aged woman coming up Grange Gorman Lane on her way to Queen Street. She's by herself and he throws himself out of his bowl, right? Pieces of meat go everywhere. Sorry. That's inappropriate. And he lays in the bushes moaning and screaming, right? So then the lady's like, oh no, something happened to somebody and she goes over to

see what's going on and now you have to imagine because he's spent years and years and years dragging himself around in a bowl. His upper body strength is fucking nuts though. So he has like crazy, a crazy upper body, sorry. I just got this like pole-dark kind of idea in my head of like how hot, fucking pole-dark, right, Louise? You got to watch that show. Like it's insane looking.

But basically she leans down, this lady leans down to be like, are you okay? She's like old school Ted Bundy style. Like I'm her. Exactly. He's the ridged Ted Bundy because then she's like, are you okay man in the ditch? His huge power arms come out and just strangle her. He chokes her out. He takes her purse, bowls away, as we know, clomping on those fucking cobblestone.

Bobby Ahern says, it was like he was going around in a canoe on the street. Oh my God. Explain it. Bobby's the best. Bobby's the best. And he had a real glimmer in his eyes as he told this story. So when the middle-aged lady wakes up, she has no fucking clue what just happened. She's just like, I don't know who did it.

I don't know what he looks like. She has no clue. Meanwhile, Billy and the Bull has the perfect cover because everybody of course writes him off. They don't know how insanely strong he is and pole-dark he is underneath his shirt. They just go, oh, it's the poor crippled man. So he is never even slightly considered. He is nobody even takes notice.

And it's the perfect cover. So he then proceeds to do this crime constantly. This is now his new jam. So that's up until 1786. Now, one night, he's laying in wait, waiting for a woman to rob. But the one who comes along, as Bobby Ahern describes her, she's a hefty-servant girl. Oh, shit. You better fucking watch out for us hefty-servant girls.

Do not fuck with us. So he goes to choke her out. And she's like, I don't think so. Man in the bowl. I love it. She starts to fight him off and she's starting to get away. He knows that if she gets away, his whole scheme is going to be over, so he strangles her to death.

And this is his first murder. Oh, no. Yeah. When her body's found the next day, it's a huge story. Everybody goes nuts. They call it the 11-grange Gorman Lane murder. And it's Ireland's first ever, oh, so Ireland had just assembled their first police force. This is how long ago this was.

The police. Damn. Um. Guarda. The guarda. Um. Or the guardee. Oh, you're changing it now that it's my story, now that she's done.

It's both. They're just saying whatever they want, Louise. You say no. Single or pure? Okay. Are you the one that was laughing earlier? Because I'm not listening to you. Any death laugher?

One guarda. Two guardi. Got it. This is all information that will not help us in Oslo. But tomorrow night, everyone's going to think we're really smart here. Oh, shit. Thanks, you guys. Tomorrow night, we're going to be like, no, you're pronouncing it wrong.

Uh, I mean, in all these articles, they called it the police force. So, yeah, I don't know what you guys are. Anyhow. Um, so basically the case goes cold, nobody suspects Billy in the bowl, of course. He's the charming, beautiful, beggar, no one even looks at him. So he decides to lay low for like six months, but of course all of his bad habits get the best of him. He starts to run out of money.

So he, he goes and he, uh, so one night, he's on Richardson's lane, two women are walking along, it's dusk, um, some say in some stories, they're servant girls. In some stories, they're, uh, like rich, well to do women, um, but either way it was women who were kind of dressed up for the night on the town. So they had a lot of jewelry on and a lot of kind of overt richness. Um, so Billy does this thing where he throws himself out of the bowl, but he doesn't see that there's two women. He just knows that someone's coming.

Does he hide his giant bowl on wheels? You know what he does is he also carries around a big ficus plant. And so he'll just go ahead and pull that plant over. It looks like this amazing, gorgeous planter on wheel. I love, I would love it if it was like a Looney Tunes style, like Skyline of like the Warner Brothers studio. He folds the bowl up real small and puts him in his pocket and then lays down in the bushes. Oh my God.

I can't account for the bowl. The man size bowl that he rolls around, he pulls it backwards, parks it, yeah, parks it facing out, yeah, gets out, gets into the bushes. Yeah. So some holes in this story. This whole thing is fake, obviously, but who cares? So when the women come up, he, he's doing the thing where he's doing his cries for help. The women approach, he sees that their money, their jewelry, their money, they open their

purse to give him money. He can't control himself. He grabs one woman. No. He doesn't see that there's the other woman, he just sees the one in front of him. He starts to strangle her. And then the woman behind her pulls out her fucking hat pin. Yes.

Yes. The hat pins that are like this long, shit, and she jams it into his right eye. We're glad, we're happy, we're happy, but it's hard. There's nothing that makes Irish people clap more than piercing an eye with a pin. They love it. Oh man, that's, I'm just gonna, we need to start wearing hats again. Yes, that's right. I just don't understand how you put that on your head and don't then jam it into your

own skull. But it worked out great because they run up to, uh, hold on, I'll tell you, they run up to a street. It's gonna be somewhere fun, I bet, I bet it's gonna be somewhere, man or street, they run up to man or street. Is that fun? They run up to man or street, which is an amazing street, you have to see it. And, uh, there's a group of people there in that group of people, there's a new guarda

who's like, hey, I'm just learning how to do this, let me help, and they all get my baton out. That's right. Finally. They're old, old baton, um, run down and they find Billy laying on the street with his eye out and they finally realized that they had, this is who, uh, the strangler was. So someone goes and grabs, I guess that he, the bull must have been elsewhere because they went and got a wheelbarrow and put him in it and took him up to the green street prison.

So what a bummer. Yeah. It's all, the whole thing is horrifying. Um, so they could not prove that he was the strangler. They didn't have the evidence to, to connect it to the other murders, but they had it, him for this one. So he was convicted for robbery with violence. He was sentenced to hard labor, uh, at the green street prison.

What's that? Some kind of a sex reference that I'm not getting? No, they're, they're, because he doesn't have legs. So we're wondering if he got his bowl. It's so small-minded of you to think that you can only do labor with your legs. What about this? What about lifting things? What about handing someone something over and over?

Here, I got it. I will pass that salt for the rest of my life. Karen, hard labor is passing salt. If you make a really loud noise as you pass it, it counts as hard labor. Oh God, I'm sick of it. So basically, um, he's, he's convicted and he has to stay there for the rest of his life. It's a super creepy thing that they used to do.

I don't know when they stopped doing it. The rich would go and visit prisons and mental institutions as like, just as a, a night out. So apparently he became like a side show at the prison because he has one eye now. He's got the one. I don't know if that eye came all the way out. The other one's beautiful. It's so hot, gorgeous green with the black. What a great combination.

Um, I didn't get it. And they go watch him pass salt all the time is disgusting. And they say that on some dark nights in the Grange Gorman's Tony Butler district, you can hear a strange, strange noise coming up behind you. They don't like it when I do the accent. I can tell. I like it a lot more. You're not insulting me.

So I think it's great. They, they really do say in a bit, there's a place called hidden Dublin that gives ghost tours and it's on the walk. It's the north side ghost walk tour that you can take and they say that the, the ghost of Billy and the bull haunts the area where he after party, after party tonight. What is it? Hold on. We have to consult with Louise really quick.

What is it? What is it? Louise, what's wrong? I actually live in Stony Butters. If you want to have an after party, that's great. Louise is after this, Louise is after, balcony, Louise is after. Just don't wake up her flatmate. She has to work tomorrow.

He's a Monday. Great. A guy comes out in his underwear. You guys, come on. Not every day's a bank holiday. And there's also Billy and the Bull is referenced in, in a Dubliner song and in a Pogue song. So he's legend and that's the story of Billy and the Bull. Yeah.

Hey. That was great. Yeah. Good job. We did it. Thank you. I think we have time. Yeah, let's do it.

I'll put hometown murder. Yeah. Let me just tell you. Really quick. You might know these rules already, but we had to enforce some rules with the hometowns. You can't be so drunk that you can't follow your own story. It's important. You have to stay present.

You have to be. You have to know where you're going. Yeah. We don't. That's key. But don't be afraid to be super buzzed. Please make it Dublin or close by, nobody gives a shit if something happened in Arizona. And what else?

Oh. Oh, everyone hates you. Oh, yeah. If you do get picked, all the people that don't get picked are going to hate your guts. So keep it moving. And Georgia, I think it's you. I'm on a fucking roll, so don't ruin this for me, guys. Who has a hometown?

Nobody? I think that the girl sitting next to our friends that helped us. Yeah, yeah. And the toxic masculinity. Where'd Vince go? Vince is right there. Walk over to him. Oh, there's Vince, everybody.

Vince got us a lovely charcuterie and cheese spread backstage. Vince is our tour manager. He's Georgia's husband. That's right. He does it all. He does it. Which means we don't have to pay him. No, we pay him sometimes.

That's hard labor. He's doing his hard labor for free. His hard stark labor. What? His hard stark labor. Oh, right. That's so good. Hi.

What's your name? Ethel. Ethel. Ethel. That's cute. Ethel. Here, center up. Center up.

Center up. Look at her shoes. It's a nice stage picture. Those are great. Will you tell me your name, sorry? Ifa. Ifa? Yeah.

Awesome. Ifa, everybody. Where are you from? I'm from Kerry. You're from Kerry? Yeah. Kerry. She's from Kerry.

You guys know it. Did you say it right? I'm sorry. It's Kerry. Jesus. Yeah. Okay. What's your hometown?

My mom is from West Meath. She's from this tiny village. There's not even as many people as there is here. Oh, fun. It's called Kool. Kool. Too easy. Sorry.

Sorry. A family from Dublin moved out there years ago. The father worked in England. He'd be back and forth and then they'd just stop seeing him. Then they moved away and they hadn't really got involved with the community, so it was fine. Nobody cared. But then they went, the daughter went to the Gardee.

Multiple Garda. Got it. Message received. Yeah. And told them that they had killed him a few years back and buried him in their garden. Gardee. Garden. Got it.

Garden. Garden. And then they dug him up and burnt him somewhere else. The family did? Yeah. What did? Okay. And then she decided to go to the Gardee because she found out her mother was having

an affair with her boyfriend. Her own boyfriend. Okay, wait. Who's going to lay it? First of all, her name. No. Yeah. Wait.

So when they killed the father, was it the mother's idea? Yes. The mother and the boyfriend. They tricked the kids. They tricked the daughter into the plan. No. No. No.

No. No. It's her cousin. No. No. What's to is it? Sorry. She looked nice.

She doesn't look bad. You better come up here right now. I looked nice today. She looks nice. I was like, just down the road from my mom's house. Maybe you're related. No way. Vince.

Go around here. No. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. We got to hear this. What the hell's going on? Move it. This is unprecedented. So cousin.

She said, she yelled it's my cousin. And then I was like, oh, shit. And then I saw her face and she doesn't look angry. So we're good. It's going to be okay. She was. This is the great fear that we all have. Yeah.

We're really fucked up over this PTSD. Okay. Yeah, Eva. Eva. Eva. Hi. What's your name? Oh.

Hi. What's your name? What's your name? Eva. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Okay. They're sharing a. We're from Cougar. Do it in the microphones. Okay. We're from Cougar. We're from Cougar. We're from Cougar.

We're from Cougar. We're from Cougar. We're from Cougar. Okay. So you're a cousin. Who's your cousin? Don't talk like it. Be on stage, please.

We were going to email in. Okay. About her auntie. Uh-huh. But we decided not to. She wanted to say that for me. But then Eva came on stage and told us all about her auntie. Okay.

It's not an auntie that we talked to. Okay. Good. That's good. Oh, my God. You know the kind. Oh, we got those. You know the kind.

But we know what she's done. Oh, my God. And we know she has a book. A book? She wrote a book about her. You don't get to do that if you're the murderer. So will you run it down for us just really quick? Yeah, we see.

We don't. You don't talk about it? No. Do you see? Everyone in Cougar. The parents. You asked the parents. We don't talk about that.

They won't tell you anything? We can't. Just tell us. We won't tell anyone. We're not going to tell anyone, right? You know what? We're keeping it here. There was a bonfire.

Yeah. And the bones were left. There was also a under patio. Yeah. And then they decided that wasn't good enough. So they brought it up. And went to the pigs. Oh, shit.

Yeah. But the family don't associate with that. Okay. Eva just goes, I didn't get to the pigs part. I forgot. Yeah. My mom didn't know the pigs. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.

You guys, this all stays in this room tonight. Please. Please. Don't tell anyone. There was bits left in the pig. That's how they found out. That's how they proved that. Yeah.

But it was the mother who's the daughter's husband. So the daughter went to the garden. And she said, hey, there's something shitty going on. Good for her. A woman's scorn, man. So she brought out a book. I said, hey, fuck you. Oh my God.

It was like a diary. Our family walked out of school. And so she's in jail now. She's gone. She's in jail now. She's out. And she's like, I'm right here. Murder.

The wife was done for murder. The daughter's husband was done for manslaughter. I will find out the name of the book. OK, great. And I will come up. I'm not going to read it. I love it. You guys read an amazing seven part series right now that we have.

We have a round of applause for all of these guys. Thank you so much. Good job. Thank you. Jesus Christ. Thank you. Oh my God. We'll call you guys later.

That could have been a fucking question fuck. And it was and I'm so grateful for that. I'm sweating a little extra. I love that they came up and they had less information than IFA did. Fuck yes. That's what it's all about. It would have been cool if we'd get like 30 people on this stage just milling around of like, well, I've heard this story.

I would like to say this and that. You forgot the part of the pig, the chickens. You forgot the chickens. Oh fuck. Dublin, this has been amazing. Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you to our translators.

Emily, you made it happen. Thank you so much. This is a really, really awesome way to kick off our tour, our big Europe tour, our big UK and Ireland tour. And Dublin, you guys not only are our kickoff show, you sold out two nights. That's so amazing. Thank you. Can't, it's very difficult for us to convey how insane this is where we just started taping

our personal conversations at Georgia's house two years ago. And now we're in Ireland talking to a thousand people. I mean, it's fucking amazing. It's so awesome. And we know it's all because of you guys, obviously, and we appreciate it so much and we're so grateful. We have the best time and it's because you guys are, you're the best listeners and the best people to talk to about this crazy fucked up shit that we're all so fascinated by.

So thank you so much and stay sexy. And thank you.