My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 129 - Coincidence Island

Episode Date: July 12, 2018

Karen and Georgia cover the Honolulu Strangler and the Galapagos Affair.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. Hello. Hi. And welcome. This is my favorite murder. It's a true crime comedy podcast where we tell you horrible things and then we just leave you to it. And then you have nightmares. And you're on your own. Sorry, bye. Sorry, you're all alone in this world. Bye. Yeah, that's us. That's Karen Kilgara. And that's Georgia Hartz-Hark. Thank you. Who, Hartz-Hark? Hartz-Hark. You said thank you. No, thank you, Georgia Hartz-Hark.

Can I just say, speaking of this being a true crime comedy podcast, I was going to tell you really quickly. Okay. So I saw my mom the other day and I'm just like at that place in my life where I'm like primed and ready for her insult me all the time. Sure. Maybe it's on me. I don't know. I think that's moms and daughters. Yeah. So she's, we're at some funeral. Okay. You buried the lead? I literally, we buried my uncle. No. But we're at the thing, there's like a distance relative and she's totally bragging about me. She also has somehow got it in her head that we have the biggest podcast in the world and I just, I don't think she wants to be corrected on it. I'm sure she doesn't. I've tried. And then she's like, they have the biggest podcast in the

world. It's a mystery. And I was like, it's not a fucking mystery. Karen and I worked really hard. And she goes, no, it's a mystery podcast, right? Which I didn't correct her on. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is better because she used to think it was a ghost podcast. Oh, that's true. So she's getting closer. She is. She's at least. It's a mystery. Fuck you, mom. Mom, I worked. I tried my hardest. It's a mystery podcast. So maybe it's, so maybe it's me. Did she let it slide? She acted like, yeah. She did. Was she offended? Or was she like, oh, you know, Oh, good. She didn't get it. That I was just being a complete dick or she ignored it. Hey, look, though, look, Janet, that one's on me. Look and listen, Janet. Sometimes

it's hard. You get into the patterns. You fucking, oh, yeah, you hear what you hear because that's what you think is coming. How do you not hear it? I'm primed and ready for her to insult me in some special way. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. Jan. How was your week in fucking Hawaii? Dude, I was so in Hawaii. I was like walking around in a bathing suit cover up at the grocery store. I was so on vacation that not only did I not have my debilitating and crippling body image issues, but I was like, fuck you. I was just having, it was so gorgeous. That sounds incredible. And you were gone for what, a week and a half? Yeah, it was a long time. I think it was eight days, right? Seven or eight days.

Amazing. How many times did I text you? Not at all. You just did that one. Just like, I hope we had a good time. As you were leaving last week, you were like, so if anything important comes in, can we just wait till I get back? Because you know me, and I'll be like, real quick. Is this okay? Do you like this or this? Which I know is, you know, if that's a big request. I did it. Yeah, you really did. Except for one time when I got a Linda Belcher gift of Linda Belcher dancing in Georgia going, are you having a good time? And I was. That was the cool thing is I texted you as a friend, not as a business partner, which I love and appreciate. And I think I told you at least one anecdote.

Oh yeah. No, we had, it was the kind of thing where like, I realized I haven't been on vacation. I mean, I've gotten to travel and have a good time, but still had to work. It's a different thing. It's so different when you just get up to nothing and you're with, we were with like four, I think there were four families all together. So it's just a ton of people. That kind of thing where you, no matter how early you get up, someone else is already up. And like this person's like, I'm going to do, I'm going to breakfast. I'm going to do breakfast. This other person's like, let's go, everyone want to go grocery shopping? And that's the most fun. It was really, we had a minivan that we'd drive around in. At one point Robin, so it was us and

the cola singhums and the cola singhums. You know the coles, it's Adrienne's family. Okay. And the Ramazzi family, which is, we got to stay at Janet Ramazzi's house and Fourth of July is their big holiday. So we all got to be there for that, which was so gorgeous. We were on this beautiful beach in Kauai. Yeah. When you looked up and down the beach, everybody brought their own fireworks. And we did too because Gordy, who was the one who told that amazing, told me the amazing at Thanksgiving. So last Thanksgiving is when this whole idea started because it was kind of like this mishmash Thanksgiving of a bunch of random people who had never had Thanksgiving together before. And we had the best time.

It was super fun. And that's when Janet was like, we should all do Fourth of July at my house. And that, so we got a second house in her neighborhood. Normally I'd be like, great. And then I would never speak to them again. Exactly. Well, and I kind of had that feeling of like, I don't think I'm really invited, but it's nice. And my sister was like, no, you have to come. It's going to be so great. And then I was like, well, I would love to go and that it sounds like a dream, but I didn't want to like be invasive. Well, it ended up, I was going to get a hotel room. There, of course, were none because it's Kauai in the summertime. So anyway, it turned out amazing.

And it was like, couldn't have felt more welcome. And it was so, it's so fun to be around families. I'm never around. Yeah. You're just like laughing at their shit. Isn't it fun to watch a family like interaction and be like, oh, you guys are seeing shit that no one else fucking sees. Yeah. And on vacation, it's like, no, there's no, all the moms are like, yeah, I'm, I already made my breakfast. I'm going out onto the lanai. Like it was truly every man for itself. Love it. Oh yeah. So Adrienne's husband, Robin, started having Nora drive from your 11 year old niece, the 11 year old niece driving from one rental house to the other. She was sitting in his lap. She was only doing the steering, but she was fully steering the minivan with all of us in it.

She's going to remember that for the rest of her life. She was giggling so hard at one point, she turned all the way around to look at everybody and everyone goes, turn around. It was like, it was just a bunch of stuff like that. Yeah. So fun. Also, one night, they started playing drinking games in the garage and they were, they taught us how to play baseball, which is some crazy, like it's basically quarters, but advanced because now everyone does like quarters with ping pong balls and cups and shit. No, I didn't go to college. So I have no fucking idea. Right? Same here. I've never even heard of it. Yeah. It's just a, it's basically like throwing ping pong balls into cups and, but then if you steal a base, then you have to do that cup

flipping thing. You know how the kids were really into cup flipping? I'm good at cup flipping. Are you really? I say that and not knowing for sure if I am, but I think I am. It's, it was just funny how all the over 40s adapted because it's like, I've got four beers in me and I want to kick your ass. It was like the competitive little shit gopher. It was like, suddenly, everybody was 19. I love it. And it was, yeah, it was a total joy. But on 4th of July, as you looked up and down this beach, like as the sun was setting, people just started kicking off their piccolo pizza. And so it just, as far as the, I could see, it was just little fireworks. It was the coolest best trip. So like dreamy. Yeah. And so relaxing. Like I didn't realize how much I needed to just plain

relax and do nothing and kind of like just go to the beach and sit around. And tomorrow while there's nothing too, I was, mine had been therapist. Don't worry, we're fine. We're just, we're learning how to communicate effectively. Sure. Please give me some tips when you're done. We didn't know how badly we were like, we're like, let's just, I'm so preemptive therapy girl. So let's just go and we'll learn some shit. Because there were some like, you know, communication shit. And then we're like, Oh, fuck, this would have gone like our marriage would have been over in 10 fucking years if we hadn't figured this shit out. Yes, it's the hardest. Yeah. Like it's the key of men and women do it very differently. Right. Well, he was telling us because we're going to fucking Hawaii

next week, but we're going for three nights. And our therapist basically was like, what is wrong with you? You have a brain change when you go for more than like five or six days, like something clicks in your, you know, that you know the next day is nothing and the next day is vacation. It changes like, you know, can you tag some days on? No, but I think we'll go somewhere else later. Oh, okay. Yeah, because it's very true. Like we, I started calling it vacation brain because people would ask me something very basic about my own life. And I'd be like, um, I don't know, ask me later. Like truly, it was felt like my brain's like, no, we're gone for the weekend. We're just like a rest. Yeah. Especially like this past year has been really fucking hard and insane.

And I think we haven't been able to acknowledge it because we would have broken. Yeah. Like a spinning top and it's like, don't stick a fucking thing in it. No, like you got to let that thing spin and keep spinning it. Yeah. We still can't tell you guys the things we've been doing that are going to like, we're going to be able to tell you hopefully in the next month. And they're big and they're really fun. And some of them are so exciting that I really, really wish I could tell you right now. We do. Lots. I'm mouthing it to Georgia. What is it? Huh? Paul Owens? Who's that? See it again? Oh, oh, oh my God. You guys would die. You guys would die. You're going to die soon. Don't worry. Apologies to Paul Owens, whoever that is. Paul Owens. I miss you so much.

I'm really, I'm good at flippy cups. I'm bad at mouth reading, apparently. We're going to work on it. Yeah. We have fun stuff to tell you and things that we've been working very hard on and but also it's hard. I think we are very similar in that way. It's hard for us to relax. Yeah. I feel like I've been in this mode for quite some time. So relaxing is as upsetting as being stressed out to me. I'm not at the personality of someone who can chill out. Like even when I, if I'm going to watch a movie on TV or whatever the fuck, I have to like do my sewing projects, paint my fucking nails. Like I have to clean out a drawer. I can't just chill. That's the beauty of ADD. Conversely, that's the beauty of Hawaii, the Hawaiian islands. Right. Because everyone

there goes real slow and they're not going to speed up for your crazy California ass. Specifically. Not use specifically anybody that everybody is just like, yeah, we don't do it that way here. I like it. And it's really cool. I'll do my best. It also smells, the air smells beautiful and it's insanely clean. We'll see how it fucking goes. You're going to love it. I'm really excited. It just unwinds your spine. Yeah. It's, it's very, very good for you. Unwind your spine man. Oh, you're going to read that to me? Yes. Okay. Okay. So we got this email that is number one. It is number one. Oh my God. I'm excited. I don't know it yet. And you were laughing out loud. I lost my mind a little bit. The subject line is John Wayne Gacy is a fucking fraud.

Hi. So I work with correctional officers all over the state of Illinois and sometimes I get really good stories from them about how horrible inmates can be. Hell yeah. Parenthetically, so much thrown pee. Oh, that's, that's rough. And every once in a while, a story, the story I want about infamous murderers. I was talking to some officers from Maynard Correctional Center or Menard, sorry, which formerly housed John Wayne Gacy. After I brought him up, parentheses, no shame. They told me he was not a bad inmate considering, but they did tell me the following that I had to share with you guys. So apparently all the paintings that Gacy sold while he was in prison weren't done by him. Oh my God. The fucking scoop of the goddamn century.

He had like an assembly line of inmates in his art class that would all contribute. For example, one would do the trees and one would do the creepy clown face, etc. Gacy frequently only contributed his signature to the whole thing. I was told that when these paintings were sold for stupid amounts of money, he gave money to each inmate that worked on it. Well, that's kind of nice. I really don't know how it all worked and how it was even allowed in prison, but the, but shit, the 80s were a different ball game. They sure were. I got to give credit for Gacy's entrepreneurial spirit, even though he's a fraudulent sick fuck. I just wonder if he made the inmates working on his paintings, call him Colonel. Stay sexy. Don't trust serial killers,

works of art, B. Well, I kind of love that because we always talk about, don't like, how gross that is. Yeah, like, we don't want, excuse me, we're not, this can winds making me broke. We're not obsessed with serial killers. You know, we are obsessed with stories and so people think that we are obsessed and I just love that it's like, oh, you bought a John Wing Gacy painting sucks to be you motherfucker. I just never understood when that kind of, that seemed to kick up in the 90s a little bit. And I do remember I did have a t-shirt with a huge picture of Ed Gein's face on the front of it that I got an EK on Vermont. That is like, but that's like, you know, like only certain people would know what it is, you know? Yes,

back then it felt very, you know, underground. It felt edgy. Yeah, edgy and like subversive. Is that the word you're looking for? No, but I like that one better than what I was thinking. Was it edgy? No. Esoteric. Esoteric's good. Yeah, I love that word. But point being, I never wore it. I bought it because I was like, I know who it is and I want credit from like the other comics that I know that are into serial killers, but I don't want to walk around with Ed Gein's face. But it always freaked me out that people would want a piece of one of those people in their home. It's like how much that that's like the definition of bad vibes, the artwork. If you believe in ghosts or car or like, they have vibes and shit. Yeah, like that,

that John McGasey would be putting his, you know, it's your internal, the artwork is like your internal. You're tripping, man. Man, I'm still on island time. Have you been, have you been sniffing jailhouse paint, spumes and shit? But yeah, I wonder, this is just one more terrible blow to Johnny Depp's whole financial. He's in so many... Did you read the Rolling Stone article about Johnny Depp? Recent? Yeah. No. About his financial shit? Oh, yes. He spends like $500,000 a month or something. On wine? Oh, bro. It was, it was funny. I did read the thing where recently he punched somebody in the face on the movie set. The Locations Manager. That's terrible. Good for him. No,

I'm totally, that poor location manager is just like, I just want to do my job without getting punched by Johnny Depp. Yeah. I make, let's see, $8 million less than you. So how about you keep your fucking hands over there? Yeah. Yeah. Bro. Do we have any housekeeping? Eskipping. Eskipping. Fan cult. What's up? We're getting, we're posting weekly videos and, and we're posting live shows and we're about to come out with an exciting new merch line. Yeah. Like really soon. We've got a couple things in the chamber. Like we keep saying. Well, we, but we do, we just have to organize ourselves and deliver it. But some really good ideas. Also last night on Twitter, I started posting, it was really late. I was just kind of in a

weird place and I was thinking about all the hotel rooms I loved on our last, actually a couple of tours. So I just started posting pictures of hotel rooms that I've loved. Oh my God. And people are like, I want to see all of these. So like, I feel like that's for this fall tour I'm going to do. I'm going to keep a hotel room diary. I love it. Because some, a lot of times we just stay wherever the places that's like mid-level or whatever, we don't always splurge like crazy. Extended stay place. Yeah, exactly. But sometimes like on the European tour, we splurged in a couple places where it was like, I can't even believe. Because it was Karen's birthday, you guys. Don't call us snobs. Don't call us sluts. Yeah. And it was her birthday. So I had to stay somewhere nice,

too. I can't be staying at a fucking, you know, no offense. I actually, yeah, let's not name names. Like that. I actually, we get an offer from the like days in that are like, we heard you talk shit about, we'd love to work with you. I actually asked Vince if he would make you stay somewhere bad while I stay somewhere good. He said no. Oh, because he'd have to stay there with me. Yeah. So we fought for your love. Oh, bring that to the therapist. Doug, look how much he loves me. Doug proof. Doug. Yeah, I don't, I don't even remember the last time we recorded. So I can't think of anything. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Oh, corrections corners. Yes. Here we go. Do you know the one I'm going to say? I think I have one and you have one.

Okay, you go first. I can't remember mine. So you go first. This is, I would say, could it be our sloppiest? So far so good. So far so bad. So we do have a correction. I have a corrections corner. And luckily, I love that this is how everyone now gives us our corrections, the nicest, sweetest way possible. So, and this one feels especially dumb to me, but on my part. So Bambi wrote to us and wrote, even though Karen and Bjork wore it before Rihanna, band two knots have been around for a long, long time. No shade intended, just info where it was like, oh, thank you, Bambi. Oh my God, that was so nice of you. But if I intimated in any way that I thought Bjork invented those, it makes me feel so stupid because in no way did I think that. So

thank you so much for the fact that Bambi wrote no shade was so heartwarming to me because I was like, we get, I mean, like I can take shade, you can serve up the shade if you're pissed. But anyway, so thanks for that. Good job, Bambi. Yeah, thanks, Bambi. Looking for a better cooking routine? With meal planning, shopping, and prepping handled, Hello Fresh has you covered. Hello Fresh makes home cooking easy and affordable so you can stay on track and on budget in the new year. Hello Fresh meals are convenient, seasonal, and delicious. Stay cozy all winter long with classic comfort foods available weekly. While I stop with just dinner, now you can enjoy Hello Fresh's expanded menu of quick lunch solutions, weekend brunch, simple side dishes,

and amazing desserts. Karen, January is going to be my month for Hello Fresh. I am so sick of takeout. I miss cooking so much I haven't lifted a knife or a pan since like early fall. So I can't wait to get back in the kitchen and Hello Fresh makes it so easy and also makes it so that my food tastes good, which is hard to do on my own. It gives you everything, everything you need. So get up to 20 free meals with purchase plus free shipping on your first box at hellofresh.ca slash murder20 with code murder20. That's up to 20 free meals plus free shipping on your first box when you go to hellofresh.ca slash murder20 and use code murder20. Goodbye. Hey, I'm Mike Corey, the host of Wondery's podcast against the odds. In our next season,

three masked men hijack a school bus full of children in the sleepy farm town of Chowchilla, California. They bury the children and their bus driver deep underground, planning to hold them for ransom. Local police and the FBI marshal a search effort, but the trail quickly runs dry. As the air supply for the trapped children dwindles, a pair of unlikely heroes emerges. Follow against the odds wherever you get your podcast. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Who goes first this week? If we're going by the live show, then Karen would go first.

Did I go first the week before? Do you want to go first? No. No. Why did you whisper damn it? Because I'm drinking my canned wine and I have to slow down on the canned wine. Oh, okay. No, it's fine. Go first. Okay. Okay. I don't know why I might like get it out of the way person with everything. Oh, I see.

Let's just get the shit out of the way. That's going to be fun on vacation. Oh, it's great. I'm great. I'm really chill. Well, so because I can't let go of being in Hawaii, actually while we were there, Mary Ramazzi, who is, it was her mom's house that we were staying at, listens to the podcast. Hi, Mary. And she was like, have you ever done a Hawaiian serial killer? And at first I said, no, then I remembered there was Randall. I'm not going to be able to remember his last name, but he's the guy that escaped from the

mental hospital and actually made it to like, he made it to California. And her brother's house or some shit. Yeah, exactly. He was extremely scary. But I was like, are there any? Because of course at the time where like the palm trees were swaying in the background, and we're just like, there's no way. Why would anyone? Well, then I Wikipedia it and there was one.

It's still a cold case. The case of the Honolulu Strangler. All right. So I don't have to tell, I think most people about Hawaii are that great. First of all, it's a state. Let's just start there. So Hawaii obviously has always been this gorgeous tourist destination. It is, if you haven't been, I highly suggest that you go to really any of the islands, including Molokai. It used to be a leper colony.

Now there's about 11 people that live there. My sister's gone because we have like distant family that live there. It's like my cousin's wife's sister's family. And my sister said it's incredible and like very remote. And you, it's just that thing where when you go on vacation in Hawaii, you really are just gone. You're out in the middle of the ocean and it's, it's an amazing experience. So anyway, so it was a huge vacation destination in the 50s.

And then it had this resurgence in the 80s. Because after in like the 60s and 70s, the tourism had fallen off. It was huge for so long. And then like everything, you know, there was the recession and people started staycationing with no name or cute BuzzFeed columns about it. They just didn't go anywhere and lined up for gas. It was just called don't fucking go anywhere. It was called we're fucking broke.

If you want to go into nature, stand outside. But by the mid 80s, it was ramping back up again. The island of Oahu, which is where Honolulu is. So I'm not going to act like a total expert because we like, you know, I think when I was growing up, I just thought of Hawaii as Honolulu. It was just like, there was a picture on our refrigerator of my grandma in the 50s standing in front of a big pink hotel in Honolulu wearing a lay. And it was like, that was the shit.

That was like the American dream. Totally. But in the 80s, it came back so that you, there were people like baseball shirts that said Hawaii 82 on the front of them. Remember those tourism shirts where it was like the, it looked like a football shirt, but it was like Hawaii 82. I remember like, it was like, it was like, where are you going to live Hawaii? Like it was like the place to be.

And I remember someone at school saying that all the drinking fountains had pineapple juice in them. I was like, oh my God, it's so like, that's like what paradise it was. It's truly paradise pineapple juice and all the water fountains. I was just like blown away. Although I have to say the first time I visited Hawaii with my ex, we sat and ate fresh pineapple and triskets and cheese for like a week straight. That's all.

I was like, this, I'm fine. And you know, the tropical snack of triskets and cheese. Triskets and cheese. I was like, here's my protein. Got a grain. And now it's just pineapple, pineapple, pineapple. So amazing. So, okay, so in the 80s, one of the main reasons tourism kicked up again.

And also there was military personnel and people coming to work at telecom companies. So all these people, there was an influx of people coming into the state of Hawaii. 10 and a half million people visited the islands during this time. And this, all before the stock market crash of 87, I didn't know existed. All right, 87. We can't get into the stock market right now. This is not a stock market podcast, guys. Could you imagine if I just started, it was a bull and bear market.

You're just like, what? You don't know how to pronounce city names, but you can talk about the stock market. The crash of 87. But it was so for Hawaii, huge for the economy, great for business. But of course, because with all those people brought the influx and increase of robberies, rapes and violent crime. Stop it. And up until this point, as far as they knew, there had never been a serial killer on that.

As far as like in terms of the police ever knowing about it. On May 29th, 1985, Vicky Purdy, she leaves home around six o'clock. She's going to go out clubbing with her friends. And she's going to go dancing and drinking, essentially. She's a tourist or she lives there? She lives there with her husband. And she's going to go into Waikiki. Okay.

And go drinking and dancing with her friends. So the husband stays at home and she's going to go out and party party. She parks her car at a place called the shore bird hotel. She ends up calling her friends. She doesn't meet up with her friends until she calls them at 10 p.m. And she tries to make a plan of meeting up with them. But they she never shows up and they never see her or hear from her again. Her husband, Gary, she doesn't at midnight when when she's not home.

Her husband starts to worry and she has a pager. He starts paging her over and over. In 1985. Yeah. Wow. But she never answers. Oh. And the last person to see her alive is a cab driver who dropped her off at the shore bird hotel to pick up her car at midnight.

So she had gone somewhere but it wasn't to meet her friends. Yeah, they're they're not sure like her her weird. Yeah. So in the morning, he pages her and pages her, goes to sleep, assumes she's just going to get home late. In the morning, he sees that she's never come home and he's frantic. So he goes into Waikiki to look for her himself. And he finds her car at the shore bird hotel. Her keys and purse are gone.

There's nothing like of her own in the car. But there's a dent in the car that was not there when she had left the day before. Oh, no, a dent. And then the next morning, Gary's worst fears come true. Vicki's body is found in the Keihe Lagoon. She was wearing the yellow jumpsuit and the red belt that she was wearing when she left the house the night before. Her arms are bound behind her back and she has been raped and strangled. So she had been working at a video store.

So her husband Gary tells police he thinks it's related to her work because the video store has an adult bookshop connected to it. Bookshop, OK. And six months before Vicki started working at this video store, there was a double murder. What? Yeah, at that location. Ultimately, the police decided it was a coincidence and it didn't have anything to do with her murder. But I think that's insane.

Well, I don't know what the double murder was. It was just... What's that? Like, we don't know what the double murder was. No. OK. I think it was a cab driver. So eight months later, 17-year-old Regina Sakamoto leaves for school at Waipahu and,

of course, I apologize for all... These pronunciations are some of the hardest... You're trying so... Like, you're trying my best. I'm trying my best. I can tell and I think that they should cut you a break. Well, I did look up Ketihi, that lagoon. I watched a news reporter from Hawaii say it about 29 times.

But it's still, when you look at it, you just doubt it because, you know, there's so many e's. So Waipahu High is where she was... It's her senior year. She plans to go to Hawaii Pacific University that fall. And her younger brother, Omar, describes her as a fun-loving person and someone everyone looked up to. So on January 14th, 1986, it's 7.15 in the morning, and she calls her boyfriend from a phone booth to tell him she's missed her school bus and that she's going to be late for school. And that's the last time anybody hears from her.

So that next morning, her body is found by fishermen a mile away from where Vicky Purdy's body was found in the Keihe Lagoon. Regina's body is naked from the waist down. Again, hands bound behind her back. She's been raped and strangled. And except for that location only a mile away, it's the exact copy of Vicky Purdy's murder. How far apart were these two? The location?

No, no. The time? Eight months. Okay. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. So then two weeks after that...

Two weeks. Okay. On January 30th, 21-year-old Denise Hughes is on her way to work. So she lives in a neighborhood called Pearl City, which is north of Honolulu. And she is a secretary. She works for a phone company and commutes to work by bus. And Denise's mom told her, she thought that Pearl City was too remote, too far away. There weren't enough people that lived there.

And she didn't like the fact that she would commute by bus and wait at that bus stop by herself. So her mom told her, wait until the last second when you know the bus is coming and then go out to the bus stop. So that you're not just standing around by yourself. Okay. And that's normally what she did. Mom. Good idea. Yeah.

But that day, January 30th, 1986, Denise never shows up for work. And two days later, three teenagers are crabbing near the Moana Lua Stream, which is two miles upstream from the Keahi Lagoon. And they come across something that's wrapped in blue material in the water. Yeah. It's the body of Denise Hughes and again, her hands were bound behind her back. She'd been raped and strangled. But because her body was in the water, it had a lot more decomposition.

But all three women so far have been found south of their homes by the Honolulu airport and close to if not in water. So the police can no longer dismiss that these murders aren't connected. Yeah. And the way the bodies like are still bound behind their hands behind their back. Yeah. Rape. Everything about the MO is so matching.

Oh, how creepy. So, but up until this point, the Hawaiian authorities have never dealt with a serial killer to the point where when they finally make, when they talk about it in the paper, they have to explain what serial killer means. Wow. That's how untouched the community had been up until that point in the mid-80s. So, the Honolulu police set up a serial killer task force that will eventually over that year, it grows into consisting of 27 people and they actually end up enlisting the help of the FBI

and the Green River Killer Task Force. Yeah. They were really smart. They like reached out to all the right places. But they have nothing to work with, almost nothing to work with because when the bodies are in the water, there's no blood evidence. Yeah. And it was before DNA evidence was in the fore in any way.

It's just such a new concept in general to everybody because so police make this announcement and they think at least two of the women possibly could have accepted rides from strangers while they're waiting at these bus stops. And because of that, the authorities caution all women not against taking rides or hitchhiking at all. Good for them. For like, you know, not hiding it and instead being like. Yes.

Like safety first. Yeah. I mean, it should be like men stop killing women. Of course we know that, but in addition to that. But since we know that's never, that's a note that won't be taken apparently. But what they do tell women to do is that travel in groups where clothing that they can move quickly in, which I think is kind of amazing because I've always been a big believer in runnable shoes.

Like high heels are fine for when you're indoors and looking pretty. But like, you know, that makes me happy. There's like, wear clothing that would allow freedom, the freedom to move quickly. Don't carry packages. So don't don't be bundled up and weighed down with stuff. And don't get close to cars that approach you asking for directions. So that got real specific with warning people. And they said, they told women, quote, if you feel like you're being followed,

trust your gut, which is rad. Yeah. They even set up a sting using undercover police women around the Honolulu airport, but nothing ever came of it. Shit. Yeah. So about six weeks later on March 26th, 25 year old Louise Maderos from Waipahuah, she leaves the island of Wahoo and she's going to visit her family on Kauai.

That's where I was. So Louise's mother had died recently and she has to go there for the reading of the will. But she she has two kids and she's three months pregnant. So she's trying to make it the fastest possible trip because she left her two kids with her boyfriend and she's just like, I gotta get back. Her family wants her to wait until morning so that she doesn't have to take the bus from the airport late at night. But Louise is like, no, I have to get back as soon as possible.

When she gets off her airplane in Honolulu, she disappears. And a week later on April 2nd, Louise's body is found at the north end of the Keihe Lagoon. She is naked from the waist down. Her hands are bound behind her back and like the three victims before her, she's been sexually assaulted and strangled. So the whole MO is the same. And then three weeks after that.

Jesus. Yeah. On April 29th, 36 year old Linda Pesci leaves for work in her car. So she also works for a phone company. She's recently been promoted there. She's a single mother devoted to her daughter. She has a roommate and she tells the roommate tonight I have a meeting. So I'm going to be home later than normal.

When Linda doesn't arrive home by the next morning, the roommate's really concerned. She calls up and finds out Linda left work at 6.30. Uh-oh. Her roommate calls the police because she knows that Linda would never go anywhere without her daughter. Just it would never happen. And Linda's car is found on the Nimitz Highway at the north eastern end of the Keihe Lagoon. And from what the police put together, they figure that her car broke down

half a mile from a bus stop. No. Yep. So they immediately call a press conference. They warn the community that Linda is now considered a missing person. And they tell women not to leave their car if it breaks down. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, stay inside of it with the door locked. And then the police say, which is very touching and sad,

this involves everybody's wives, everybody's girlfriends, and everybody's daughters. We have lost our innocence as a community. How terrifying. It's, and also when you go over there, it's so tiny. Yeah. I mean, it really is a community. Yeah. Everybody knows each other on all these islands.

I mean, I can't speak for Oahu, but the places I've been, which is Maui and Kauai, it really seems like you're coming into a neighborhood. Yeah. It's not like, you know, a whole island. It's just a little neighborhood where people like wave to each other as they drive by. Sure. Four days later, and this is where it gets fucking weird as hell. Okay.

A 43-year-old mechanic calls the police and tells them that a psychic told him that Linda Pesci's body was located in a place called Sand Island. Oh, shit. And he tells police that he followed the directions that the psychic gave him, and that he thinks he found the body. Oh. And he also explains he knows Linda Pesci because she tried to sell him a pager one time, so that they had had a connection at one point.

Is she? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So police check Linda's appointment book, and they see that this mechanic's name is actually, Anna's information is in her appointment book, and she had written it in there the day she disappeared. So. Oh, my God.

They go to Sand Island. The authorities go to Sand Island with this mechanic, and he shows them around the whole island. I don't know how big it is. I imagine it's some little place. It's the size of a grain of sand. I'm not sure. He walks around the whole island, avoiding one spot,

and then he's like, oh, I guess it's not here. When police check out that spot, that's where they find Linda Pesci's body. Dude. She is face down, covered in dirt, and there's a concrete block on top of her, and she's been raped and strangled. Oh, my God. So meanwhile, when she went missing, the police actually put up a roadblock, and they stopped commuters and asked them about what they saw the night

that Linda's car broke down on the side of the road. One witness said that she saw a Caucasian or a mixed-race man in his 30s or early 40s driving a light-colored American-made van that had black lettering on it, and he was seen in his van on the side of the road with Linda in a broken-down car. The mechanic fit the description, the mechanic that brought them to Sand Beach, fits the description of this guy. The mechanic that brought them to Sand Beach has a light-colored American-made van

with black lettering on it. He's 43 years old. He's like right in there, and he lives in the Iwa Beach, E-W-A, Iwa Beach area, which actually the task force had, you know, when they do that thing where they do like a, with a compass or whatever, and it's like, this is the area they'll probably live? Because it's like right in the vicinity in the middle of us. Yeah, yes, like that, so he was right in that spot. Iwa Beach was right in that area.

I'm sure some FBI profiler, I don't know specifically that's who it is, but they had basically figured that he worked at an air cargo company or a place near or at the airport on Lagoon Drive. Police figured that he worked at the airport or nearby the airport. I was gonna guess the airport. Yeah, the mechanic who called them and talked about the psychic worked at an air cargo company near the airport. On Lagoon Drive, which is the road that runs along the Kit-E-Hey Lagoon.

Jude. Yes, this guy has no prior record, but he does have relationship issues. Yeah, I mean, don't we all? They start to surveil this guy and they see, they catch him trying to scrape the letters off of his van. Yeah, on May 9th, six days after he had led the police to Linda's, Linda Pesci's body, they bring the mechanic in for questioning. He sits in the interrogation room from eight o'clock until three in the morning.

Jesus. Barely moving, arms crossed, head down. He won't say a word. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. They give him a polygraph, he fails it, but the police know that they only have circumstantial evidence, that basically it's just eyewitnesses. And so they go and talk to his ex-wife and his girlfriend.

Both of whom tell police that this guy's into bondage, specifically tying hands behind the back. Dude. Yeah, also the girlfriend says that they got into fights and he stormed out of the house on the nights that these girls went missing. No. Yes, but again, this is all hearsay and he said, she said. Can you imagine realizing that when you're like put the nights together

and you're like. The slow burn reveal of this person is not only who not who I think it is, but perhaps a complete monster. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. So of course, of course, I don't know what's happening to me. A horse is a horse.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course. He lawyers up and never talks to police again. They go to the DA saying we have all this, but it's all circumstantial. And the DA says if we take this to trial, we will lose and he'll be gone forever. Sure. When the mechanic walked out the police station door, the local press was there waiting and someone asked if he knew Linda Pesci. And he started to say, I haven't talked to, then he stopped talking and.

What does that mean? He realized he should not be saying anything to the press at all. What was he going to say? That he basically started to give an answer. I haven't talked to and then. Linda since the day I killed her. I mean, so months after this, a woman comes forward and says, and she ends up, she says she saw a man by the side of the road and the woman broke down car.

The whole thing. They put a photographic line up in front of her and she picks the mechanic out. Are you kidding? Well, but maybe she saw him on the news. Months later, like that's weird, right? Well, but here's the thing. She will not testify because this is like an actual eyewitness, but she says when as she passed, he turned and looked her right in the eye and she was so scared.

She's positive if she testifies, he'll kill her. That's how scared, like scary he was. Did you see his picture? I see. I did see a picture of course, transition lenses. So he looks like every, he looks like any of those serial killers. Yeah, like a Dahmer style. Yes, skinny.

No, he had kind of a round face. It was just like, but I mean, it could, it could completely be circumstantial and he just got caught up and it's not him. No, he ended up, they continue to surveil him. He then goes to the Midwest. They call whatever state he goes to and they continue to surveil him while he's there. They call the FBI, they follow him to the FBI, follows him to Europe twice. What the fuck?

He then moves back to the East, he comes back, goes to the East Coast. They continue surveilling him. They never catch him doing anything. They never see anything suspicious, nothing at all. He ends up dying in 2003. What the fuck? So in 2016, the Honolulu police said that they're stepping up cold case, old cold cases and investigations, which is what everyone's doing now, which is amazing.

And they're, they're afraid that the, they want to retest the DNA they have on file. They're not sure if it's still viable because it's from almost 40 years ago. No, we, we're fine with that. We, us, us DNA experts, like me. You can make it work? We can make it work. Okay, good. But they, they say that they consider all cases open until the suspect is identified or caught.

But not, but another one didn't happen after that. Correct. It all stopped after that. It was him. And that is the story of the Honolulu strangler. There's not that much about it because it's like the classic, classic cold case. But there was, um, case file has an episode about it. Okay.

Which that guy couldn't be more detailed or awesome. So I'm sure there's, there's more stuff in there. And then I did find there is an ID channel. Of course. If you Google the Honolulu strangler, there's an IG channel. There's an episode of a show called something. Yeah. It's like a bunch of, bunch of cases that they profile.

This is one of them. And it's one of them. You can look and when you Google it, you can find a couple of things, but. Wow, that's awful. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I mean, it's, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah.

It's such a classic serial killing case. Yeah. And there's no, it couldn't even be like, it's not, it's not far apart. Like the first one, there's eight months, but then it's just like once a month or every two weeks. That's like, it's classic serial killer. Like this guy's just driving around hunting at night. I mean, and then like his ex-girlfriend who's just like, yeah, every time we got in a fight, that was the night. I mean.

Yeah. Yeah. But they aren't. Shit, dude. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah. Good job. Thank you.

All right. Did you see that? No. When will you accept that I wear glasses? Put that down and I'll do, we'll do an eye test. I have a problem where I always think Karen, I always think I don't hide my shit enough. And I think Karen is going to know five seconds before I tell her what murder I'm doing. I feel like, was your sister or brother sneaky with you?

Did they do weird shit, like trick you into things? That's all we did with each other was be sneaky, tricky with each other. Like it was every man for himself. I'm going to find any kind of dirt against you. I can. I'm going to read your fucking diary and I'm going to tell mom. Oh, fuck. And it's not a mystery.

The exact opposite. Laura was like the Don Draper of, I never think about you at all. Where like, if I put something down like that, she would never even take the time to look at it. Well, how are you going to get, you know what you do all the time that drives me fucking crazy? Because all I want to do is look at it. Because you don't close your, like you don't turn off your phone. I know you've mentioned that to me 1,000 times. I just feel like I'm going to see something that you don't want me to see, that I don't want to see, that I'm going to get then see.

Because you love to look at people's phones. No, but I won't do it. I don't do it. I don't do it. Although I was at Joe DeRosa's house the other night and he had them, like a stack of checks, you know, like to deposit. And I was like, can I look at your checks? And I was just like, what's this for? What's this for? Like, I totally did that. And I was like, that might be rude. I'm sorry. Well, he would tell, but do you know Joe is a good enough friend? He said, I would tell you if I would say no, if I didn't want you to.

And I said, I wouldn't have asked you if I knew you wouldn't care. Yeah. Yeah. That's really funny. I love looking at people's like weird per diem, not per diem, but what's it called? Residual checks? Yeah. Where it's like, why did you get a check for $4.94? Right. Where in China did the show you were on for three minutes play? I still get checks from the Drew Carey show. Shut up.

It's insane, but they truly are like crazy for nine cents. That was so long ago. It was over 52 years ago. It doesn't make sense. It was 52 years ago tonight. Tonight? Why is Drew Carey on your porch? All right. Listen. Look.

Look and listen in a fucking stunning coincidence. We are going to remain on the island. You and me and Steven are on the fucking coincidence island tonight. Yes. We're the only inhabitants because we're about to fucking do the Galapagos affair. Oh, island time. Island fucking time. Shit. Now, just so you know, I'm on this island, but I'm not here to make friends.

Good luck players. I'm going to throw you under a bus. Literally. Okay. Okay. Wait. Sorry. Really quick. There's a documentary about this, right?

Yes. I've been told to watch this documentary probably 50 times tonight. And I hear it's amazing. They were right. Everyone was right. Okay. I know we're like, shut up. I know everything.

Like, you know, it's fucking good. Okay. Okay. So like every character in it looks so much not like anyone. Okay. That I can't describe them by saying they look like a young so-and-so. Great. So, and you're good at that.

Okay. I even showed events and I was like, who does this look like to you? And he's just like, my friend Dave from college. No. No. He did get one good one. Okay. Okay.

Can I just tell you, sorry. Tell me always. You giving me a job. You just, you just picked up the second grader inside of me and made me sit up real tall. I have a job. Get your crayons. I love it. I'm ready.

I can't wait. Okay. Here we go. All right. Let's just start. Okay. This is what's going to happen. So this, this story is told by the inhabitants of this story, like based on the letters that

everyone wrote, the books that were later, that they later wrote about it. So what is fact and what is someone else's story and isn't true and is true is like left up to fucking conjecture or some word that sounds like that. Um, so, but here's what we know and here's how we are going to do it. And just really quick. That's all the only, the way we tell all stories is just through the eyes of either the police or a reporter or a family member. Like you always forget that because you're like, no, this is fact.

Right. And when we do our research, we try our best to find stories that are like to look for the stories that everyone is telling and then piece together what sounds like the most plausible based on what we're telling you. And so we're fucking wrong too, probably. So we're adding to that. Guaranteed. So, but we're right always, um, Floriana Island.

Let's start there. It's one of the islands that make up the archipelago archipelago archipelago didn't know that word before I heard it on, uh, well, let me say this podcast. Hold on. Archipelago. Great. Thank you to the podcast. The conspirators.

Nice. For telling me how to say that archipelago. All right. So here we are. The archipelago, uh, that makes up the Galapagos Islands formed by volcanic eruption. It's like another little tiny cluster of islands like near Ecuador that were like, that you're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Okay.

Um, let's see, uh, uh, Floriana is named after Juan Jose Flores. He's the first president of Ecuador. During his administration, Ecuador was like, you know what, this Galapagos Islands are ours. Goodbye. Wow. The islands are of course known for their unique and wondrous creatures like giant tortoises, um, that are used as an inspiration for Charles Darwin's, the origin of species.

That's what everyone knows, knows it for, you know, the island, some motherfucking, there was like all these like Europeans and pirates and people who would take over this little island of Floriana. Then one dick was like, I'm going to, um, play a joke and I'm going to light a little fire and it ended up burning the whole fucking island down. No. And, um, it's, he, let's see. That's not a funny joke.

No. It's the helmsman of the Nantucket whaling vessel, the Essex in 1890 does that. And the captain of the vessel swore retribution on the, the culprit and, but then the ship is rammed and sunk by a sperm whale and, uh, that's when Herman Melville got his fucking idea to write Moby Dick. Shit. Yeah. So there's like history.

Wow. You know what I mean? Like don't burn a fucking island down dick. An archipelago. An archipelago. Archipelago. Okay. By the 1920s, Ecuador is broke and they're like, we need some fucking money.

Um, let's, let's sell the islands to help with our economy. So, uh, then Europeans are like, great, let's go buy some of these islands and fucking live there. Uh, it's, you know, post-World War one, there's an economic crash and everyone's freaking out. So it brings a wave of European settlers, um, and they want to buy the land and they want to live on a tropical island paradise, like this idea that this is going to be paradise. So two of those people are Dr. Frederick Ritter who's 43 and his lover who's 15 years younger

than him, Dora Strauch. So she's a teacher and a board fucking housewife. They're from Germany and they had met there when Dora had become a patient of Dr. Strauch. Dr. Friedrich Frederick. So they had met when Dora had, uh, became a patient of Dr. Ritter. He's a dentist, I think, and, uh, she had, Dora had been diagnosed with MS and all of her doctors were like, it's incurable. You can't do anything about it.

Fucking deal with it. Goodbye. But Dr. Ritter was like, uh, fuck that shit. He believed, he was like super into, uh, Nietzsche and he was like, here's, uh, here's what's going to happen if he, he believed in the healing power of thought. He mansplained to her that she didn't have to submit to her illness and she fell in love with him. He fell in love with her and, uh, they decided to leave their spouses for each other.

Wow. He looks like Steve Zahn. You know, nice. You know what I mean? I love Steve Zahn. Like a rugged Steve Zahn. Oh. Like a rugged 19, 20s.

Like, um, did you ever see Sunshine Cleaning Company? No. Um, he's Steve Zahn in that movie is a cop. Okay. So he's insanely yoked. Yeah. He's like no longer hippie Steve Zahn. He's like, he's evil cop Steve Zahn.

Okay. He's like Steve Zahn and Popeye had a baby. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And she looks like a young Emma Thompson. Okay. Okay. That's a nice combination.

Right. So Dr. Ritter, he's an eccentric. He said he's neat. He said, he studies Nietzsche, uh, like any good angry hipster I wrote. Sure. Cause it's like, oh my God. Like if you went on a date with a guy, I was like, I'm really an Nietzsche. I'd be like, oh wait, sorry, really quick.

That's my friend over there. And I would fucking run as fast as I could. Exactly. Baker. Baker. Bye. Um, so he's into his philospical principles and his advocacy for a natural life and a vegetarian diet.

And they want to go to an idyllic Pacific Island existence. He just fucking hated modern life. He was like, get me the fuck out of here. Everyone walks too slow. This sucks. I don't want to be a doctor. Let's go to a tropical island. Let's get the fuck out of here.

Everything is like all about buying buying shit. It's impersonal. It's valueless. I hate it. Okay. I can get behind that. Sure. Sure.

And Dora, what was that character? Sometimes it's fun to live a valueless life. Oh, okay. Um, so Dora is like, fuck, you know, she's 15 years younger. She's like, oh my God, this guy is the smartest guy ever. I'm obsessed with him. I'm in love with him. Uh, he looks like Steve's on.

He looks like Steve's on. So she also hated this bougie lifestyle. She didn't want to be a fucking housewife for the rest of her life. And she was pissed off that she had this like disease that was like ravishing her body. And her, I guess her husband might have been a dick. So, uh, she said that existence poisons the spirit, which isn't just mere existence. No, no, no, that existence, though. Oh, that lifestyle.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. You know. But so she calls Dr. Ritter, her teacher and her guide and her fate. Oh, I know, right? She got it bad. Yeah.

Uh, wanting to leave civilization, they decide to leave their spouses and they said, dude, the spouses take care of each other. Oh, like, don't do that. Then you're like looking across the room at some stranger. It was like, oh, really? What do you like? Yeah. So they leave the spouses, they get the fuck out of Germany and they travel to the uninhabited

Florianna where they could indulge in his raw food theories. Oh, no. Uh-huh. Uh, and he could write his Magnum Opus, which is a philosophical theotheist book. And then I wrote, and where he could mansplain her in privacy. Now, if you're a doctor, that's not mansplaining, that's, you know, way more than a person. Oh, okay. All right.

And does he, just because you're a doctor and you like memorize some fucking medical books? Well, yeah. If you're a doctor talking to a patient, that's not mansplaining. Yeah. But it's now his fucking lover. Right. You know?

But she was just like, hey, there's a lot of editorializing. Okay. Fair enough. Uh, just putting it out there. But, okay. So the pair lived by the strict Nietzschean principles that Dr. Ritter had imposed on them, including nudism, vegetarianism. I hate these people so much.

They're like, he sucks so hard. She went with him for some reason. She's like young and thinking, I don't think she's that young. I think he was 43 and he's 15 years younger. So how many years is that? That's 30. So she's like late 20s. Yeah.

So she's not that young. She's not like innocent. 17 year old, you know? But I get it. If you have some kind of disease where you're just like, oh wait, I better grab life while I can. Sure. I can overcome this disease where everyone else is like, great, you're an invalid now

and she's like, I want this. Yes. And I'm sick of this boring lifestyle. I think her husband was a dick. She's like, fuck this shit. Okay. I get it. Listen.

I'm behind it. In my late 20s, the fucking dudes I had crushes on. Oh, it's all like Kierkegaard and fucking veganism and shit where you're just like, you're so different and new. Yeah. Smoke pot all day? I love it. Oh my God, this is groundbreaking philosophies.

Good job, everybody. You're not. Amazing. It's not that you're lazy and in a band. It's that you're a genius. It's not that normal. We'll hire you. It's that you don't care about money.

I get it now. I also don't care about money. I have to pay rent again? Yeah. Okay. I'll do it. Sounds good. Great.

Someone got to care about that money. Okay. But here's what our exes didn't do. Oh. So he had this, Dr. Ritter, the dentist, had this obsession. He was also really into obsessive mastication, which is exactly what it sounds like. Chewing. Chewing.

A fuck ton. A fuck ton of chewing. Now, you know you're supposed to chew 35 times per bite. Did you know that? I didn't and I don't do that. I rarely do it, but every once in a while I'll remember and then I start counting and then I'm like, this is insanity. Yeah.

Yeah. I hate it. I remember reading, sorry. I remember reading, sorry. There's no sorrys here. I read an article called Chew Your Juice one time that was like, you need to do that to juice as well as food where it's like because your, your saliva acids needs to break down the thing.

I was just like, none of this. And then I'll never get cancer. Yeah. And then I'll be beautiful. Yeah. Forget it. Yeah. Forget it.

It's like, it's like the brushing your hair a hundred times thing where it's like, but some people are like, no, it'll break your hair and it's like, can everyone just shut up? Yeah. Or how about I just do whatever? Yeah. How about I do my best? So.

And my worst. Yes. My worst was that, um, so we burped at the same time just now, our burp cycles are matching up. Oh my God. So. Sorry. I'm not talking anymore.

No, no, no. Keep talking. Because yes, you are. Because I'm about to tell you some shit. Okay. So this rule is obsessive mastication rule had destroyed Dr. Raer's teeth. So the dentist? Yeah.

So before they left Germany for this fucking island, he was like, there's not going to be dental shit on this island. So he pulls all his teeth out. But and he instead gets steel dentures, stainless steel dentures before leaving Germany. So he's got a fucking mouthful of nothing. So he is a bond villain on an uninhabited island and a nudist. Do you think like, but it's like they were leaving the night before and then he did that and she was like, oh shit.

Oh, I already told my husband to go off with his wife. This might have been a mistake. Shit. I gotta go through it now. Yeah. Okay. So not surprisingly though, Dr. Ritter is actually like kind of a bully. He refuses.

They get to the island. Great. Yeah. He refuses to allow Dora simple pleasures that his philosophical principles didn't allow like coffee and her teeth. No. Once on the island, he preemptively removes her teeth as well with garden tools and together they share his set of dentures when they need to eat.

So then they have to sit there toothless while the other one choose multiple times and like pass it back and forth. Like my, my mom and her boyfriend do the cute thing where they like have his glasses and she hands them and they look at a menu together with their glasses. Very sweet. Adorable. And now imagine that with fucking teeth. This is, we have just gotten to this island and I'm so disturbed.

It doesn't matter what happens after this. It gets so much worse. You also just, okay. It's like the whole story just, just remember that they don't have teeth because why you, you could have moved from like where, where were you Cologne, Germany, you, why didn't you just move over to Berlin and just test it out for two months? What's the island, the English where they have the cows and shit? Guernsey.

Go to Guernsey. Like. You don't need to go to Galapagos. Yeah. Test island first. Which exactly. Ireland. Like even, even there's like a Galapagos islands, Santa Cruz.

It's like kind of inhabited by like a bunch of Norwegian people. It's like people are just doing their best there, but it's not like, you can just be your own person. They were like, fuck no. And they went to this fucking place where the closest neighbors were 60 miles away. And I don't know. And it's also not like, it's not paradise. If you look at the, the vid, the, this documentary and these photos, it's like this crazy rocky

lot, like Black Lava Rock Beach with like sticks and stuff. And then they get, and then they get there and they're like, great, we're just going to plant food and stuff. And it's going to be amazing. But it turns out that it's hard to live on an island because they had to, where did I put that? Okay. It's actually constant fucking labor.

Yes. Instead of the life of contemplation that Dora had envisioned. So a year, so they said they were like, we want to be the fucking Adam and Eve. Sure. Great. A year and a half in, finally their Eden is starting to come together. Dora had tried to keep up with Dr. Ritter. I'm calling him Dr. Yeah, Dr. Ritter.

Yeah. Cause he's like, you know, Popeye and she's like, what's up, I have MS, right? But she's like, and no teeth and no teeth and he keeps telling me how it's like mind over matter. So like, I can't, you know, I can't be sick. He's, I can't imagine he's a guy who's going to bring you like a fucking cold washcloth when you are exhausted. No, just imagine a cold washcloth on your forehead.

Why do you need a real one? Right. Also, there's no cold water here. So calm down. All the water is boiling on. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

There's no, okay. But you know, he's not going to baby you. Yeah. Clearly. You know, like the way we all kind of need when we're sick, because we just want someone to be like, what can I bring you? He's like, do you have any more teeth I could pull out? Did you just, did I leave one in there?

I'd love to pull at least five more teeth. There's got to be something. So it turns out that Dr. Ritter's mansplaining bullshit had not cured Dora of her MS, which would flare up and make it hard for her to do any manual labor and like they're pulling, like in the documentary, they're pulling trees down and carrying the giant banana stalks and shit. Yeah. But that only made Dr. Ritter pissed off that she couldn't get it fucking together and ignore

her MS, ignore her fucking. She couldn't meet you her way out of MS. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, this is like when you pick a bad boyfriend to get away from your current friendship group. Yeah. You know, sometimes that happens. You're like, no, I just need to be with him all the time.

I just did that. Because you're sick of the people that you're spending time with. You're sick of the life you have. Like a mind was like going to like, you know, dancing and going to clubs and drinking fucking long Island ice teas. Yeah. So I pounded boyfriend. I'm like, bye.

No, I'm all about this guy now. And then it's like, but you didn't move to an island. I moved to San Francisco. Oh, same thing. Yeah. Same thing, actually. Yeah. Well, so you know exactly what Dora's pain is all about.

How are your teeth in San Francisco? These are all fake. Look at them. They're huge. I can't get over it. No, you shouldn't get over it. It's so nuts. Ladies.

Okay. Ladies, look and listen. So Dora in her writing complains that Dr. Ritter, his name's Frederick, but it's Frederick, but I don't want to, you know, say it wrong. It's called Fred. Like it's the European spelling of Frederick. Yeah. But it's not Frederick.

Fred's good. Let's call him Dr. Fred. Okay. Okay. She's like, fuck Dr. Fred. He's dissatisfied with everything I do. He's stern with her even when she's sick and he would write home and he would only speak of her negatively in his letters being like, she can't keep up, blah, blah, blah.

It's like, bitch, she came to a fucking island with you and took her goddamn teeth out. She can't, I love this and it doesn't need to be in here, but she's like, I can't find kindness and patience with Dr. Fred. So instead she becomes like her burrow, her donkey becomes like her best friend. Oh no. And there's like video of her playing with this like sweet donkey. It's like a dog and they're like playing and dancing and like, oh my God, it's her baby.

It's like her baby. It's so cute. Oh no. And then fucking Dr. Fred gets pissed off about how she loves animals. He's like mad about it. Yep. Yeah, exactly. That's a Nietzsche was big into animal abuse.

And then I wrote this, but this bitch took her teeth out for him and he can't even baby her once in a while. I want to know how long they were together before they left Germany. Oh, that's a great question. It was like six months. If it was three weeks and if they were together and hadn't left their spouses yet, so they had never like spent that real night together like a week together or even a weekend, which is what used to happen to people all the time.

Yeah. I'm super in love with this person, but you've never spent the night with them. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So they write letters documenting their lives on the island, they send, they send home and

they send to a newspaper in Berlin who publishes these letters and without them knowing it, they become fucking like kind of famous as the Robertson Caruso of the Galapagos Islands. Oh no. So they're like on the cover of newspapers being like, look at this like modern day Adam and Eve and they're like living off the land and it's paradise and like everyone's talking about how incredible this is that they're doing this. Because they didn't even know. Because no one's smiling in any pictures.

When they find out they're famous, they're fucking pissed off about it and the press had grand, grand eyes their lives on the island and called them eccentrics and philosophers. It's like this, you know, noble thing they're doing and not, they don't write about probably how bad they smell, I'm guessing. That donkey's like, I'm going to stand over here for a while. Yeah, even the donkey's like, oh, so even a ship full of scientists from America, New US who were documenting all the exotic animals throughout the Galapagos stop by Floriana just to see the quote modern day Adam and Eve.

So they were like, we got to add this as a stop on our way. These like famous fucking this couple like a cruise ship would go by. It's like their big yacht. Oh, okay. Yeah. So they were they all the scientists got off the island and they all made friends and you know, it was a positive thing. Even though Dr. Freud was like, but I don't want any more visitors, but.

And then he just like open his lips. I don't want any more visitors. Okay. Stainless. And glare. Teeth. Okay. So three years into their life on the island in the summer of 1932, a fucking schooner

arrives carrying Heinz Whitmer and his wife Margaret, who's five months pregnant onto the island and Heinz's son from previous marriage named Harry, who's a teenager. So his Harry's Harry had fragile health and he had gotten sick recently and they had been reading about these adventures in the fucking tropics. And so they were like, fuck this, let's get out of here and bring our family and go live on this island. They were also German. They had sold all their possessions after reading about this stuff and we're like, we're

going to do this. Once they pull up onto the beach, they were like, oh shit, this is not what we fucking thought it would be. They find a desolate island with only one stream. So Heinz and Margaret are like comparably very normal. Like they're a normal couple with normal wants, et cetera. And the doctor and Dora are like, this is the most boring couple that could have come to this fucking island.

Like we're not going to have wild orgies. They say to each other as they pass teeth back and forth. Yeah, you're right. They're boring. They're the boring ones. Fucking lunatics. So when the, when they, so the doctor and Dora start fucking blobby, blobby about Nietzsche, the Wittmers are like, double what the fuck.

These are not normal people. These people are bananas. And they're like, we, what did we do? We shouldn't have come here. And then Margaret also, who's five months pregnant, she expected that this dude, Dr. Fred would fucking doctor her and help her with her pregnancy. Dude. Just like for free, you know.

And a dentist. And he's a dentist. I'm not a hundred percent sure he's a dentist. It's set it in some of the shit and some of the others. Okay. But it's, it is, that's a mistake you could make where it is still counts as a doctor. You could be a doctor and be a researcher. You could be a doctor and be like, no, I just wrote a super long paper.

Yeah. It doesn't mean I know how to deliver your baby. Yeah. Yes. That's true. Yeah. So, and Dr. Fred was like, I don't want to be a fucking doctor anymore. Fuck you, normal woman.

You think I'm going to deliver your fucking baby. And then they can't be too normal if they just shut their whole life down. And then we're like, oh, we're going to go live with people from a magazine. Well, it seems like they had this like fantasy of what it was going to be like. And it was not like that at all. And of course, Dora immediately dislikes Margaret, the pregnant woman, because she's content to be a housewife. Like it's, you know, just be a mother and a wife.

That's all she wants. Yeah. So it's immediately like disdain for each other. So Dr. Fred's of course, pissed to have these boring uninvited guests. So he is like, yeah, let me show you where you can stay. And he like walks them for like an hour to these caves where pirates used to live. And he's like, here's your home. Goodbye.

And like leaves them there to fucking fend for themselves. Such a dick. These are guest caves. Goodbye. There's towels in the way back. They look like bats, but don't even pay attention to that. Don't worry about it. But it turns out that the Whip Mars are good at island living and quickly their little

enclave is thriving, which of course pisses Dr. Fred off because that they didn't have the same experience. Well, you know what it is? They had three sets of teeth. And that's the key to island living. You got to be able to nash if you want to survive on an island. We've always said that you and I, you and I, that's basically our fucking tagline or the podcast, but OK, so they're doing well at the caves.

They're doing great at the caves, pisses Dr. Fred off, but quickly they kind of fall into this understanding of like, you know, they're not besties, but they are. They're doing OK. They're neighbors. You know, no one loves their neighbors true. And everything kind of settles down and everyone settles into this life. Fine. Great.

And then the fucking Baroness shows up. The Baroness fucking Baroness is at my part. This is where Karen comes in. Karen comes in. No joke. Riding a fucking donkey. A second donkey. Yes.

Oh, hell yes. Or like, yeah. She didn't steal the other one. I don't think so. I don't know which. I tried to find this fucking happy dog, like the friend donkey. So like the name of it. And I couldn't find it.

Let's call him Clive. Clive. OK. Clive. OK. She comes up. This woman gets there. She is the Baroness.

Eloise. We're born DeWagner Bosquette is her name. Hell yes. But we're going to call her the Baroness. The Baroness. Although I do love the name Eloise. She comes to this fucking island. I think she'd been reading about it as well in the newspapers and because she's also German.

She said she's from Vienna and she's like, guess what, motherfuckers? I'm opening a luxury hotel for American millionaires on this island. What's up? Here I am coming out on a donkey. Margaret's the first one to see her. She fucking pulls up. She's got like a gun and she's flanked by two men. They're both her lovers.

Yes. Yeah. My role of a lifetime. And she looks like, all right, here we go. Here's where I need your help. OK. OK. Hold on.

Yeah. This is my favorite story of all time. OK. Tell me. I need you to tell me what she looks like. And I need you to tell me also if she kind of looks like me. She has my mouth. OK.

These fake teeth I have. She has them. Straight out of Galapagos. All right. So this is she. Here she is. OK. With her two lovers.

Sweet. I'm so into two lovers. Just get it going. Whoa. OK. Yes or no, she kind of looks like me. I feel like it's like a Clea Duvall. You know who she looks like?

This Maggie Gyllenhaal. Totally. Straight up. You are much, much prettier than this lady. The Baroness. Thank you. The Baroness is so funny. She totally looks like Maggie.

I need notice. Yeah. This is my speciality. That's Maggie Gyllenhaal. Do you want to see the toothless wonders? Yes. Please. Oh, wait a second.

I'm just going to say her lovers look like. I was going to say the blonde one looks like Prince Charles, a young Prince Charles. Yeah. No, you can do better than that. Well, it's the ears. You nailed that. OK. Because he's tall and skinny.

But he actually looks like James Cromwell, the actor James Cromwell. Yes. LA Confidential. They're like, can you believe James Cromwell was this hot when he was young? Yep. That's what he looks like. That's what he looks like. Definitely.

Then this guy in the front. No one ever. Like maybe a Steve Martin character? Yeah. Like from the jerk. He totally has Steve Martin face. There's like squinty eyes, but also standardized good looking. It's like a Steve Martin doing a character.

100%. He has like weird curly wavy hair. Yeah. He has very 20s hair. It looks like. Yes. He puts a headband in to make it look like that. 100%.

Let me find. Also, I don't doubt that those two guys might not look for the affections of each other every once in a while. I think we all slept in a bed together. You know what I mean? I think these guys kicked off pansexuality 80 years before it was cool. So here's the thing. OK.

Here's one at Steve Martin. No, no. Buscemi. No. The guy who I said the toothless people look like. Oh, yes. Yes. Doesn't he kind of?

How come we can't remember? Steve Vaughn. Eric Vaughn. Steve Zaun. Zaun. You're thinking Vince Vaughn. Yeah. It looks.

And then she's dead on. She's a young Emma Thompson. Maybe. Yeah. I think there's something better there. But I can't figure out. There is something better. But you know what it is?

Not a lot of actresses look like this woman because she had her nose is kind of big. So you don't get very many mainstream actresses that look like this. And mainstream actresses usually put in fake teeth after they pull them on. That's right. They wouldn't go full dentures for a man. You know who he looks like. And maybe this is why you're thinking Emma Thompson. He looks like Kenneth Branagh.

Who's that? He used to be married to Emma Thompson. Remember that guy? No. Let me look. You know I don't know anyone. Kenneth Branagh. Here he comes.

Let's see. Oh, yeah. Come on. Dude. Hong Kong. Guys. Right now guys, I'm doing that when you pull the air for a semi truck to Hong Kong. She's doing it.

Hong Kong. So, and then the Whitman, Whitmers are just so boring that they don't even, they're not going to look like anyone. Okay. You know. Yeah. You want to see them though. They're sure.

They're just not. They just look like anybody. They look like nobody and anybody. Okay. They're fine. I'm going to picture those two people from the American Gothic painting. One guy looks like an old farmer. Oh my God.

Yes. I'm psychic. Hong Kong. You. Hong Kong. Jimmy that air horn. Air horn, bitch. Okay.

Hold on. I just had to say guys, I've been drinking cold brew coffee and I have lost my mind. Karen came over. I'm out of water. So I was like, don't do cold brew. And I was like, you pour it. I don't want to like make it for you because I know how hard it is. And she pours herself some and I went, oh shit.

Oh shit. Like she poured that much in her. And I've only had half. You've only not even had half. Yeah. This is the greatest experience of my life. This episode is to warn you about the dangers of cold brew coffee. That's right.

Can I tell you one of my saddest things that happened while you were gone? Yes. Really quickly. That you miss me. Sidebar. No, I missed you. Okay. 100%.

Okay. There was an estate sale close by and they had a photo on the fucking listing of the case that when you, that you would get, you'd seen health class when a cop would come for like dare or like warn you of drugs, the case that they opened up and showed you all the drugs. They had a fucking narc, like narcotics. Example case. Yes.

And I fucking almost lost my mind. I went early in the morning on like a Thursday morning before therapy. I was late to therapy. I didn't tell her why, but we have talked about my shopping addiction. It's fine. Everything's fine. And it was gone already. Oh no.

That's where I got you the fucking paint by numbers. That thing is amazing. I really wish I had taken the price tag off so you didn't know it was $15, but I saw it and I was like, I have to get this to Karen, but like through the week, since you've been gone, I've been like getting used to it and liking it. And I was like, do I get that to Karen? And then you came in and I was like, give it to Karen, Georgia, come on, you have everything. And suddenly it's missing from the wall in my house.

I'm like, wait a second. It's weird. God, that was just pointless. Okay. It was super worth it. But they also go for like $400 on eBay, I found out since. What paint by numbers? Paint?

No. The drug case. The drug suitcase. All I want. Someone whose dad was a dare counselor, go into your basement. I promise you, you're going to have one of those like, there's a thing that calls, that it says like a heroin outfit and it shows like the heroin shit. Like a spoon and a needle and it's called a heroin outfit.

And then someone on my Instagram where don't you hate when you go to a party and someone's wearing the same heroin outfit. Nice. I loved it. Okay. I want one. Anyways. Two lovers.

So her lovers are Robert Phillipson and Rudolph Lawrence. He's the blonde guy. So the bareness is described as a flamboyant and ill-tempered woman. Hell yes. From Vienna. Okay. She, both couples are on the island are fucking scandalized as shit by her and her lovers arrival.

She is way before her time, like feminist as fuck. She's brash and brazen. She dominates her lovers who are by all accounts terrified of her, but clearly turned on by it. Right. They come to a fucking island with her. Yeah. She's most definitely a narcissist.

She, yes. She even later convinces those scientists when they come back on their yacht to like visit the island again. She convinces the captain to make a silent film with her starring her and she's a manhungry pirate, pirate dress, piratis. In the movie. In the silent film movie, which you, it is in the fucking documentary or you can just watch it online.

Wow. It's like a silent film. She's wearing like a mesh. Like you can see her titties. Yeah. Like it's like a mesh shirt. Nips are out. Like, and apparently she walks around the island in a bra and underwear and doesn't

give a fuck. Yes. Like with a fucking pistol and shit. Oh yeah. She sports a writing crop and an ivory handled pistol, pistol, which she's fond of pointing at people who displease her. Her name is Karen Kilgara. In another way.

Nice. Do this thing. This is what you're going to be like as an old woman. I think. This is, I cannot wait. Well, we don't like this part though. Okay. She liked to shoot animals in the leg so that she could have the pleasure of nursing them

back to health. Ew. What? Monster. She stole a burrow and I don't know if it's a cleave, Clive, Clive you said. I don't know if it's Clive, but she took a burrow from the Dr. Fred's house, put it into the patio of the Whitmer's and so, and then the Whitmer was like, I thought it was, you know, wild and shot it.

So like she's stirring shit up. She's like kind of. Yeah. She's trying to mix it up on that island. She has fun fucking with people. Of all the people that could land on that island, the bareness shows up. Well, she's like, I'm going to make a million bucks for this fucking island or a hotel of mine.

Amazing. Yeah. So. Okay. Writing crop. Okay. She even chased visitors off the island one time shot one though she didn't kill him. Don't worry.

This of course, pisses everyone else off and she continues to do so by any time like people would come by and passing ships and leave them gifts of like food and, you know, shit to help them live. She would fucking be like mine, bitch and like steal it with her boobs swinging back and forth. Got it. Come and fight me for it. Exactly.

And she would open their mail. And so the outgoing mail, she would write her own version of shit with her as the star. So like the shit that went to the fucking newspapers would be like this Baroness who's this hot fucking, you know, lady and so she became like the star of the island, which of course pissed everyone off. Well, she she deserves it. Does she? Okay.

Yes, probably. She would change the wording of his letters and she became something of an international celebrity because the public loved the scandalous tales of her. So like, like yachts would come to see her and bring her gifts and shit. I bet. Yeah. But everyone else is like, fuck this shit, they complained to the governor, the Galapagos and he pays the visit to the island to be like, let me sort this out.

Fucking totally falls for the Baroness is bullshit because she's charming as fuck. And he's like, he grants her four square miles of territory for her proposed hotel, including which includes that stream that everyone shared. Oh, the Whitmer's and Dr. Ritter and Dora only get 50 acres each. Yeah. That's kind of interesting. I don't know. I think Dr. Ritter and Dora are pretty fun or Dr. Fred and Dora are pretty interesting,

but they're they took it in such a weird direction of removing their teeth. I feel like they're boring and they're boring and they seem crazy. Like and they think they're really interesting. Yes. It's like fake. The Nietzsche interesting is not truly interesting because that's not original. You're just reading something and repeating other people's ideas and then pulling each other's teeth and then in addition to that.

Yeah, and listen, I'm probably saying Nietzsche wrong. I don't give a shit. Oh, I did. I said Nietzsche. Nietzsche, Nietzsche. Listen, I didn't go to college and like don't care. Look and listen. Can't care.

Not interested. Okay. Boo boo boo. All right. So now here comes the email from Nietzsche himself. How dare you? He's dead Karen. Is he?

Corrections corner. Do we know this for a fact? Does time exist? Is he? Is he an ubermensch or not? Time is a flat circle. Is it? That's from True Detective.

No, is it? Yeah. Okay. So, shit heart starts hitting the fan. In 1933, the island is hit by a year long drought. So, of course, everyone's like up on their fucking crazy time. Yeah. You know?

Sure. Um, that stream becomes very important, I would imagine. That stream becomes a trickle of fucking water. Oh shit. Yeah. So all the plants and shit start to die. That's their food source, especially those fucking Nietzsche vegetarians over there, right?

They can't eat burro meat. No. So, Whitmer's blame the Duchess and her entourage for the drought because of the stream, Dr. Fred's piss that so many people are on his fucking island, the Baroness is fucking with both her lovers and pitting them against each other. Yes. Uh, her former favorite, the blonde guy Rudolph Lawrence, becomes like a slave and has to like build a hotel for them.

He's like a whipping boy to her and he has to do all the difficult labor. Did I tell you that the hotel's called the Hacienda Paradisio? No. That's right. That's right. That's also what your house is called now. That sure is. Come to the Hacienda.

That's what your pussy is called now. So many donkeys. No. Edit that out. Lorenzo, edit that out. Uh, okay. And Lorenzo's barely fed enough to survive and she lets her lover beat him as well. So she's letting one lover beat the other one while she starves him and he does all

the work. There's no way he wasn't into that somehow. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Like he's, that was definitely, that was sexual. Definitely probably. Okay. So, and then there are rumors.

So like Mr. Whitmer and fucking Dr. Fred are both like, hate this woman. Yeah. But there's rumors of them both making regular visits to her fucking. Ding dong. Ding dong. That's right. I just want to come up and say, I saw your, your booby swinging on the beach today and I just want to say I'm a big fan and thank you so much.

Yeah. And so then probably the wives are pissed or the women are mad about that too. I mean, listen, I'm not going to be, maybe they're hooking up with her too. We don't know. Anything could happen. But you know when there's like, especially at this time, a strong woman that's like bossy and making waves, there's, that is a scapegoat waiting to happen. Plus like Dora goes there to seemingly to be subservient to this man that she is so excited

to have all for her, like to herself. Like when I was that young and I date older dudes, I'd be like, all I want is to be somewhere along with you. And like for you never to look at another woman again. Right. Like just pay attention to me. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. So. Which is impossible. Yeah. I took my teeth out for you motherfucker. Then you learn that you have to become the person that the other person is like, all I want to do is be alone with you and be with you forever. That's right.

So no. Thanks. Yeah. Or you both have that. And then you're me and Vince. Oh yeah. Sorry. Chris.

Call the therapist and cancel all your future appointment. Doug. We're fine. Next time I come here, it's all silver teeth. It's shared silver teeth. You guys didn't do it. Please tell me you didn't do it. Elvis has turned into a burrow.

We name him Clive. Jesus. Correct. Jesus Clive. Jesus Clive. Okay. Lord. Right.

Okay. So, and Lorenz, this, the fucking whipping boy is like one took over the line or like you didn't listen to my safe word or something. Yeah. He fucking gets the fuck out of there and goes to the Whitmer's. He first goes to Dr. Fred and Dory and he's like, get me the fuck out of here. And they're like, no, no, we like the Baroness will be pissed at us. So he goes to the sweet Whitmer's.

We're like, they seem like a very sweet normal family. She has her baby. They have children on the island. Like they're truly just trying to be like, it really seems like it getting away from it all. Let's get the young asthmatic to get some fresh air stuff. I think they had really good intentions and they were boring and normal and just like wanted to live this island life.

Okay. So they do take Lorenz in and that of course pieces the Baroness off because then Lorenzo tells them that she isn't a fucking Baroness at all. Oh, she's not. I'm sorry. No, she's not. She had actually been a cabaret dancer in Constantinople during World War One. Yeah.

You mean it used to be Istanbul and now it's Constantinople. Now it's Constantinople and it's Istanbul. Like basically, yeah, okay. And then. I love her more now. She's insane. I love her. She had met and married a French merchant together.

They moved to Paris. This is a little foggy. Lorenzo might have been the man who put the money up for them to open a boutique in Paris or she just met him there. I can't really tell. But then the other, the whipping guy, the other one, Philipsson gets hired at the boutique and then she's like, what's up? You're my lovers.

Yes. And they're like, is this included in the minimum wage that we're making? Yeah. So by March of 1934, the drought had already lasted for months and it's up to 100 and fucking 20 degrees in the shade. Boo. Yeah. No.

Very hot. I am just that stupid fucking cotton in the heat. I can't deal with anything. I can't deal with much over 85. No. 87. Yeah. That's fine.

And then leave me alone. And of course all the food growing in the gardens die and a ship isn't showing up. Like usually there's a ship every month or two. A ship hasn't come for months so there's no extra supplies. And then one evening, Dora hears that she's relaxing, trying not to sweat her teeth out. She hears a blood curdling scream of a woman in the forest. Two days later, Margaret and Lorenz show up to her house and this is according to her fucking story.

This is according to Dora? Yeah. Okay. So this is what she says happens. Lorenz and Margaret, so the fuck boy and the mom. Normal lady. And the normal lady. Okay.

They show up and they're acting all like fucking KG and like rehearsed and shit. Right? Okay. Okay. Hey, you know what? Guess what's so funny? The Baroness showed up at our house and she was like, hey, our friends just showed up on a yacht.

So me and Philipson, the like current fuck boy, were totally leaving the island to go to Tahiti for a bit. See you later. Like, see, I wouldn't want to be, like they just fucking left. Okay. They just left. So they divide up her stuff. Well, exactly.

And she said the Baroness was like, keep an eye on my shit or don't because I might not want to be back. Goodbye. And so Lorenz Lorenz is like, well, uh, hey, uh, Dora, do you want to like buy the shit because I need to get money to get the fuck off this island now? Oh, even though like maybe she'll come back or maybe she won't. Right. And Dora's like, we didn't see a fucking ship.

Like you see a ship if it's coming in. Yes. We didn't see a ship. Yeah. Uh, so Dora goes with them back to the Hus, uh, Santa Paradiso. Wait, did they actually build that place or build a place? They built a place, a Hudson things. And one of the like scientists who showed up was like, it was fucking disgusting.

Like the sanitation was terrible. Like it wasn't a Hacienda Paradiso at all. That was just the name. Yeah. Okay. But so Dora is super suspicious, but she goes to the Hacienda with them, sees a bunch of her stuff is gone because Margaret took it so they like Margaret has a really nice, beautiful, um, I guess they had like a, uh, tablecloth and shit.

And then Dora goes into the bedroom and like freak has chills down her spine when she sees on the nightstand, uh, the Baroness's prized possession sitting there on the nightstand that she never fucking left the house without. Guess what it is. Her whip. No, you're wrong. Sorry, you would never. Her gun?

Yeah. One more. It's not a weapon. Oh. It's a book. A tiara. It's a book. The Bible?

No. Two more guesses what book it is. Like think of a book that like in college, you were like, this is the book and like, I know this book. This is everything. It's not Catch on the Ride because it's two. That's not written for a while, but it's like Catch on the Ride. It's the future copy of the Infinite Jazz.

It's like, it's like, it's just tell me I have no, it's the picture of Doreen Gray. Oh. Yeah. Interesting. And that was her prized possession. Like that was her prized possession. Her good luck charm. She carried it with her everywhere.

It's like such a college girl thing to do. Like, oh my God, calm down. You know. It's such a fake Baroness thing to do. Exactly. And the camp is basically pillaged by the two families. Like they just take everything. So shortly after Lorenz is like, I got to get the fuck out of here.

So he hops in like a Norwegian comes by from Santa Cruz. He hops his boat and laders the fuck out of there. Okay. Sees that there's going to be a big boat on this other island. So he is trying to get this fisherman to take him to that other island and the other and the fisherman's like, well, no, because it's Friday the 13th and I refused to fucking a boat on Friday the 13th. Oh.

Lorenz offers him enough money that he says, okay. Wow. And they motherfucking disappear. No. Yeah. They disappear. Just the boat is gone and they're both gone. Everyone's gone.

Whoa. I'm not worried about him right now. Okay. Cause maybe he killed the Baroness and her lover. So like, do we care what happens to him? No, no, not necessarily, but it's just, I love a mystery. And the mystery too is like who actually the Baroness and the student are never seen or heard from again.

They don't show up in Tahiti. There's no boat that maybe came into Tahiti. Like who, who killed them? Yeah. Right. And certainly I think it's Mr. Whitmer and Lorenz, but Margaret knew what was going on or like, you know, covered it up at the end. She was in on it.

In on it. Like, yeah. Okay. But who knows. And also they have these trees there, this wood there that you could burn and it would burn so hot that it would burn even bone. Whoa. Yeah.

Okay. That's bad. So, all right. So that happens. And then like this is the fucking dismantling of the island. This is when everything falls apart at this point, clearly. Then so Dr. Fred, there's like a pig and it's sick and he kills the pig and then he feeds the pig to the chickens and the chickens all die.

Oh no. And they're like, let's not get rid of the chickens. Let's can the chicken because if you boil the chicken long enough, it'll kill whatever the fuck the botulism that's in there and it'll be fine. We can eat it. It's fine. And they even offer some to the Whitmers and they were like, no, thank you. No way.

But they, but Dora is like, no, no, it's fine. Cooks the chicken. My burrow Elvis is being a very bad boy. Okay. Okay. Cooks the chicken and you're like, wait, they're vegetarian, but all the fucking plants had died. So they have nothing really to eat but meat.

They have to eat it. Yeah. She cooks the chicken. She feeds it to herself and Dr. Fred and Dr. Fred immediately become super sick with botulism symptoms. Like paralysis and difficulty breathing, tongue gets all swollen and shit. She didn't, Dora didn't go to get Margaret to help her until like he was very, very ill. She's had it with him.

She's fucking had it with him. She's like, okay, you're really sick. I'm going to get you help. But just as a test, do you want to eat a little more chicken? Just to test it out. And then she goes, look, I'm eating some too. And then she does the thing where you like, you turn your head to the side and you pretend to put it in your face and you drop it behind your shoulder.

She steps behind a screen. Look, I'm eating chicken too. It's like that trick everyone's doing online with the dog blanket when they like do the blanket and they drop the blanket and the dog's like, where'd the person go? It's like that. But with chicken, with botulism, or maybe just like two fingers making a rabbit. Also there's that one. That's easier.

Let's name tricks. So by the time Roger gets there, he can't even fucking speak. He's dying. His illness progresses. It's getting worse and worse. Of course, in Dora's book, she writes about it. She's like, you know, we had this moment. He looked at me with this beautiful intensity and we, and I read Nietzsche to him and he

was like, mark that passage that'll always remind me, you of me and all this like romantic shit. Margaret's like, fuck that shit. I get there. He can't fucking speak. He gets a pencil and starts writing some shit. And his final moments and writes a note to Dora. It's so romantic.

Are you ready for this? Yeah. This is like his last words. Okay. I curse you with my dying breath. Can you? Even. And she opens, she probably opens her mouth and shows her him the lack of teeth.

Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Oh yeah? He's got the teeth now. I'm on the phone now. Look, I know I'm laughing at people dying. It's terrible, but. Well, but this situation.

This is the same. This is not random violence. This is not someone plot. This is, they've all chosen to put themselves in a situation that is insane. Yeah. And it's like, who do you think you are that you're going to go to the Galapagos Islands and like have a happy normal life? I'm just so grateful to live in the time where the internet came into existence, where we

all know now better than to just, yeah, just don't move to an island. Like BuzzFeed will tell you the top 10 places to go in the world. You don't need, you don't need, number 11 doesn't matter. Never Galapagos. That's 15. 15. Men's. Men and mums.

So the body of, oh, so shortly after he curses her with his dying breath, shortly after he curses her with his dying breath that probably smelled terrible because his fucking gums were rotting. I bet. She'd already taken those teeth out. It was all gums. Before she buried him, I'm sure she took the stainless steel teeth and were like, these are mine now.

Mine. The missing Norwegian fishermen and Lorenz are found. It turns out like they must have gotten into a storm and blown off course and landed on this other island called Marchina. Okay. There are photos of their mummified bodies washed up on the fucking shore. No. Fucking sweet blonde kid.

It was just like, all I want to do is kill my fucking tormentor and get out of here. Like that's all he wanted. But the Lord says no. The Lord was like, no, and we're taking this fucking innocent Norwegian fisherman. Who just was trying to do somebody a favor. Just needed the money. He had like kids and a wife and shit. It's so creepy.

It's like the boat is this tiny little wooden schooner and they're mummified on the island. They had some food, but there was no water. They died of thirst. Oh no. Yeah. Um, and shortly after Dr. Fred is buried on the island. Dora later is the fuck out of there and goes back to Germany. So everyone else, you know, dies, departs or, you know, whatever the fuck.

Bales. Bales. Shit happens to them. I can't tell what's true or not. Okay. Um, but the Whitmer's leave to know the Whitmer's fucking stay and flourish on that island. Because it turns out they're dragons. They are vampires and they have all their teeth and then some, they have seven sets

of lizard teeth. Exactly. They, they still populate the island. Whitmer people. Wow. They're like, well, and shit. Like just like she fucking wanted. Yes.

And you know what? That was a good idea. Yeah. You know what? We're taking in and running with it. Margaret Whitmer, the fucking matriarch, she passes away at age 95 in the year 2000. Whoa. On the fucking island.

Whoa. She stuck to her story that the Baroness and her lover had hopped a passing yacht even though they were never, ever seen again. Wow. And that's the fucking Galapagos affair. I, you know, I'm glad I never saw that documentary because that as a fresh, as a fresh, your version is the best experience in the whole time. This is a fuck.

I am a documentary maker. I mean, that's, you, it's, if you just told me a series of lies, it couldn't have been crazier than what that story was. How has this not been an episode of drunk history? Is this is a drunk history episode? This is. This is fully a drunk and cold, cold brew coffee history. Oh my God.

Yeah. Like I had always like seen the photo and like known that there was this like crazy story, but there were so many names and I got confused and stopped paying attention to this story so many times. So when I finally decided to do it, I was like, this is going to be great because I'm going to get my story straight. This is a great fucking story to just yell at people when you're at a party, drinking and, you know,

Have you ever heard this? Yeah. Because someone's going to bring it up and you're like, no, and you're going to tell them all the crazy stories and shit, you know, that's like the best. Oh, that's so good. Also it is that was a time where people, we shout on them a lot, but up until I think that was the end of it, that adventuring, you know, and people going like, I'm going to go there and start all over or whatever, like people really did do that for a long

time. Well, what's really cool. So the documentary is called The Galapagos Affair, Satan Came to Eden, which you're like, calm down. I thought that's what fucking Dora's book was called. Dang. But they actually like, it's really good. It is really good.

They interview other families, members who did go to the Galapagos to live and make like life there. So you kind of understand what motivated people. So it's a cool kind of, it's a cool movie that tells that story and narrates their letters and shit. It's really good. Amazing. But yeah.

Curse you with my dying breath. Well, what a dick. Can we get that, can we please get that on a balloon and I'm like a Mylar balloon at the grocery store. Can we please, please get that with, you know, those half-heart necklaces. That's great. A greeting card. Anything.

Shit. All we want is some fucking, I curse you with my dying breath. That is high level storytelling. That was amazing. Thank you. Oh. This is your, what do we call it? Fucking hooray.

The fucking hooray. Well, oh, I do want to say this made me think of, it's weird that I did this because I'll do two. I'm going to do two quick ones. Okay. Because one is really fucking depressing. Okay. Listen, I cannot, well, okay, we all have to watch Nanette.

I haven't finished it yet, so I can't plug it, but we're getting there. Yes. Right. I cannot tell you how triggering this, this thing I'm about to fucking plug is. Okay. So don't watch it unless you have therapy plan the next day. I almost called my therapist in the middle of it. Don't watch it alone and don't watch it if you have a his, okay, do watch it though.

It's called The Tale. It's by documentary filmmaker, Jennifer Fox. It's one of the most insanely beautiful movies I've seen. I know what this is. What I'm talking about. Yes. It stars, what's her face? Is it Alison Janney?

No. Is it the other one? Yes. It's Lori Metcalf? No. Close. It's, you know, oh, she's so good. You know, hold on.

Sarah Paulson. Steven, please. Laura Dern. Laura Dern. Shit. It stars Laura Dern. It's this woman, Jennifer Fox, who's a documentary filmmaker. That's what she does.

And then she decided to make a movie about her, her experience as a 13 year old being basically groomed and sexually molested by someone she trusted. And as an adult, suddenly realizing that the narrative she had in her head of it, which is that I had an affair with an older man, is not what she fucking thought it was. And it's so well, it's really, really triggering. And I normally wouldn't bring that up, but it's so well done and so important and hit me in so many fucking places of my own. Mm-hmm.

13 year old issues. Yeah. That it's really beautiful, but it is incredibly triggering. I would say watch it in pieces, but it is an important, a really important movie that hadn't heard about it before this. So I just wanted to, I really do want people to watch it and it's, I mean, it's really moving. Wow.

Yeah. I definitely heard about it, but that there's also then Hannah Gatsby's comedy special Nanette, that when I hear about those that seem like it's a heavy subject or it's a, you know, there's parts that are really hard to listen to or there's lots of crying. When I, you know, sit down at night, these days, I feel so stressed about the reality of the world that I'm definitely 100% in escape mode when I watch stuff. So I very rarely want to go into that heavy stuff, but I've had a couple of people, especially about Nanette, be like, no, no, no, it's very important that you see it.

Yeah. It's like stay off the internet for one day and watch this important thing that will empower you because it really, you know, Vince was out of town and I watched this thing alone and at 13 years old specifically, which is the same time period of this woman's life, I thought it was just an adult. I thought I was making decisions on my own. I, you know, made very poor decisions in my life and then you come back and you have to wrap your head around them and understand them, but it's so beautifully done.

It kind of, um, every single woman you know will relate to it in some way. Amazing. And it's, and Laura Dern is just such a treasure. Oh, and then fuck and Jason Ritter who like, he's the best, I don't want to see him this way. Yeah. He plays a creepy character in it, but he apparently he like had this pause filming to cry.

Sure. And all these other little things that you're like, I don't want Jason Ritter to be like this cause I love him, but it's almost makes him better because he then talks about it and they bring this important subject up and it is important. Yeah. And it, especially if you're a parent to a young girl or, you know, boy, it's important. Well, and when I read that he played that part, I thought that's such brilliant casting because those are those wolf and sheep's clothing.

Exactly. They never seem like the kind of person that would do that. Never. They, they're the ones that can be like, I'll drive your kid home. No big deal. Yes. I mean, yeah. Jason plays the mother.

So it's, it's just like first time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to call her Berenstein bear. Do you love how I just confidently say words like I don't care. Dude, that is the theme of this show. Confidently failing. It's just a really, really, I just, I don't want it to go hidden because it's such a hard

subject that are in so hard to watch because it really is important. Good. And it did make me understand myself more. Good. Yeah. Yeah. But if you have issues around it, you be careful watching it. Right.

You know. Okay. Cool. Yeah. All right. And also hashtag or epic lava flow has been putting me to sleep at night. What's that mean? There's an Instagram called, it's just called epic lava underscore and some dude who lives

on fucking Hawaii, randomly, this is what I'm into lately, is just filming lava flows. And it's the most relaxing thing you've ever seen in your life, like up close lava bursts and lava flows. And it's just really cool. Because they had that, they had a major volcanic eruption where did you see those, like the video of the lava that's just coming down the street type of shit? Like close up of that, which I know is horrible and it's like people's houses are being ruined and shit.

Yes, it is. But as a, you know, it's almost like ASMR for your eyeballs. Neat. Yeah. There you go. God, I guess this was very exciting on when I got home from vacation. I did have a bunch of stuff on my DVR that was waiting for me. And I really, I probably have given this one before because it is a British procedural.

But is the British, there's season, I believe it's season four of Endeavor. And it is such a good British procedural. It takes place in the sixth, like the late sixties and I believe it's an Oxford. And he is, it's, you know, later on, there was a very famous, um, sear British series called Inspector Morse. So this is him as a young man, how he started, um, being a detective. And the guy, um, I want to say Sean White, but that's this, that's the snowboarder. Oh no, you're Sean Evans.

Sorry. His name is Sean Evans. And he is this, um, British actor and he's so good. He's like this real, this smart guy detective that listens to opera and you're just like, oh, you know, the guy that you would have a crush on, um, in college. And it's just a really well put together, beautifully shot show. So that was waiting on my DVR. And then there's the new season of Shetland, which is another, I believe that's, um, it's

Scottish procedural. And it's the, the visuals, talk about ASMR for the eyes, the, I watch these shows and I'm usually asleep like 20 minutes in because they take those long panning shots of like a Land Rover driving down an empty road with moors on either side or whatever. The moss everywhere. It's so gorgeous. And then of course the sing songy, beautiful accents of our friends in the UK. Um, so yeah, I just had, and then I'll just, I'll re up on CB strike, which is now the

show I've already given this as a fucking array, but it's now the show I wait for. I think that comes on either on Friday nights or Sunday nights. And I literally am waiting around for it because I love the lead actor. I love the lead actress. And it's so well done, um, CB strike on the one that baby Europe, uh, the UK stars. I think it's stars. Okay. It doesn't matter.

Um, so yeah. It's cinema. Of course. Cinemax. Thanks Steven. I mean, when I grew up, it was just the dirty channel. Cinemax. Well, it's new.

So, you know, this isn't your father's dirty, dirty channel, wrap your head around it. Uh, yeah. So just a lot of good TV, I guess. I'm so vacationed to brain have it. And then of course vacation, um, I love it. The song by the go-go. Oh, I ever wanted, thanks for listening, you guys guys. This, this has been, this has been a real, this has been a doozy.

This has been a clusterfuck of an episode. This has been my favorite murder. We hope you didn't spit your teeth out laughing. So I can, and please stay sexy and don't get murdered again. Elvis. Hi. Wanna cookie? Good boy.

Very good job.