My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 140 - Icebreakers & More!

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

Karen and Georgia answer your questions.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. Oh, oh, hello. Hi. And welcome to a very special episode of My Favorite Murder. You guys, this is different. This one's different than the others. It's not like the others. It's much, much different. It's much easier than for us. That's right. Because we're just gonna answer some questions you guys asked us. You guys have sent in general Q&A questions. You've also sent in some really amazing ice breaker questions that we asked you to send those kind of questions that

you can pull out at a party when everyone's real uncomfortable. And so you sent us your best versions of those and now we're going to answer them for you if we can. And if not, we'll have Stephen edit it out. That's right. Should we start with some goofy ones or should we get into the deep shit? I mean, all of mine are goofy. I don't, I don't even, for example, I'll start with Marlene. Would you rather eat ice cream that tastes like shit or shit that tastes like ice cream? Marlene, why does shit have to be involved? And you can't say neither. Right. I mean, like this, you've, you've restricted your world down to a really nasty and probably terrible tasting situation. And listen, everyone listening going, I don't like this question. Just go, you just know the

rest of them are not going to be like that. There's no other shit questions. But I'm just, I'm setting a, an example bar of the kindest questions we've been reading and the kind of questions that we're being asked. Can I just, can I just, can we just picture what would happen if you were at a party and try to use that ice breaker? Like just everyone walking away to the far corner and leaving you in the middle of the room with that weird smile on your face? Eating shit. Hey. Okay. Anyway, do you guys like shit? Okay. Carly asks, if you know the apocalypse is definitely happening in the next five minutes, do you want to know? No. Me neither. That was easy. Yeah. You'll like this one. Ashley asks, what's each of your favorite Stephen King movie and or book?

Oh, movie Pet Cemetery. Book it. What about you? Um, I, I guess movie, I'm not sure. I guess stand by me book the stand. And I didn't do that on purpose. Having the word stand in both. Didn't you? But I love the book the stand so much. Yeah. I just got so into it when I was 12. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. Mom, you're not supposed to let your babies read Stephen King. Uh, it was at a vacation like rental house on a lake that just like had books available. Yes. So there was this the moldy old bookshelf that had all kinds of like easy readers. Yeah. So good. Yeah. So nobody really, it's not like my mom bought me that book or like even knew you were getting it. No. Everyone was on their own. It was vacation.

Amazing. Okay. Um, here's the easy Bonnie wants to know if Karen, if we'd rather have snakes for arms or a mouth full of bees, for how long forever options? It's like, do you want to live in hell or special hell? Right? Do you want to live in hell or hair or hell where you're scared of your own arms? Well, Vince is scared of snakes. So I feel like I'd have to have a mouth full of bees. No. Yeah. Cause he'd be good with that. Yeah. He's fine with that. Because he's not scared of a girl with a fucking mouth full of bees. I mean, like, how do you drive with a mouth full of bees? You have to keep your mouth shut the whole time and then open it when you drive with your mouth. I mean, it does. Oh, cause then they'd be in a car. Exactly. Do they stay in your mouth? Probably.

The bee impact, like it feels like you control snake arm impact. Sure. Whereas the bee, you'd just be like, Oh my God. Or like you're gesturing to someone, go ahead. And then there's 50 bees in your car. So you're going to snakes. I have to do snake arms. Okay. Well, we're going to make a fine pair. Okay. Well, this is more of a, this is more of a Q of a Q and a question. Sorry. Will you both tell us, this is from Becca. Will you both tell us how you got your pets and how they got their names? Okay. You want to go first? Okay. I got Elvis. I don't know how to say this cause I didn't, I paid for him, but it wasn't like out of mill or any, like a store. It was just this family in Marin who had Siamese, their cats and they had kittens.

That's fine. But it's not okay these days, but this was 2004. I mean, look, it wasn't a mill. That's important. Yeah. And it was basically just, they were like, look, we have Siamese, our cat had Siamese cats and they don't come easy. So someone's going to give us money for this. Exactly. And I did. And I, yeah. And I, we went over there to take a look as my ex and I looked, there was a couple of kittens to choose from. I looked down and this one looks up at me with his cross-eyes and I was like, this is our fucking cat. This is my cat. Wow. And then I was sitting on my bed with him and my ex, my ex's dad had had had a signed photo of Elvis and I was just staring out into the hallway trying to think of a name for him. And I

saw the painting or the picture and I was like, Oh my God, that's totally his name. I just like, Oh nice. At that moment. That's great. You want to do one of yours? Yes. We just do one each. Sure. I got my dog George after I got divorced and I was scared to be in my house by myself and I kept hearing weird noises. I've told the story when I thought there was a person breaking and it was the raccoon. So I was getting really scared to be home alone at night and then I was like, Oh my God, it's the perfect chance. I can finally get a dog because I wanted one for a long time. And so I just went and got her. She was, I got her because it was at the Glendale SPCA and or the pound over there. And she, they bring the dogs over into a little park to show you each

dog because it's a smaller pound. And when they brought her over, all the other dogs just seemed like standard dogs. When they brought her over, she didn't run and try to like lick me or anything. She went around this little park and picked up all the toys and brought them into the center of the park. Oh my God. And I was like, she's like doing, she's made a plan of how she's going to get out of here. And I really respected her mind. Oh, wow. She's like a beautiful mind, dude. She was, she was just like, I will bring you all the treasures. And then I, I named her George Lopez. And this, it was a very dumb inside joke with my friend Greg Barrett, who made a hilarious joke. It was, it's so stupid. It's not even worth explaining, but it was basically an inside joke.

Okay. But George is a good name. George is a good name. I really should have named her like Georgie or just something easier to explain, but it does suit her. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Okay. Let's see. Are we going to get like, you know, personal? Let's see. Why not? Okay. So here's one. Kara asks, which hometown murders are your favorites or which have stuck with you long after you read them? I mean, for me, Swiss cheese pervert is forever. You'll never forget that. It makes me laugh every time we talk about it. Anytime someone adds on to it. I love it. Yeah. My favorite are the ones of like, can you believe my parents almost killed me when I was a kid? Yes. Yeah. Anytime there's like, my, can you believe my parent put me in the trunk of the car

and drove us home? Just those real like, uh, yeah, it's a real slice of life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Especially because it's like, God, they were allowed to get away with so much in the 80s. Those kinds of, this is very specific to like people in this state. But Georgia, what this is from Catherine. Um, what California freeway best describes your personality and why? Oh, uh, I think that the Arroyo Seco, the one, the part of the 110 that goes through, it's the oldest freeway in Los Angeles, the original freeway. And it goes through like parts of Pasadena. And it's so old that they're still, because cars are going so slow that the on ramps are stop signs. And you just have to fucking book it and get onto the freeway. And I'm an insane driver. So to me,

it's like a race track. And I just think it's so much fun. It's also like vintage and classy and has like beautiful details and everything. I couldn't agree more that that is the perfect description. I would say I'm the 170. I'm kind of like, you have to be, you have to live here to know about it. Sure. To know about the benefits of it. It's kind of honest. It's over on the side. It's low key, but there's people that really depend on it. It gets you in from good, like from places that you didn't know you can get to so quickly. It's like a secret. It's secret. It's short cutty. And eventually I'm gonna drop you off at Six Flags. Why did I take a sip of water? Eventually in our friendship, Karen, in your friendship with Karen, she'll always take you.

I will take you to roller coaster town. That's right. Okay. If you can only read one book for the rest of your life, or you can read them, oh, you can only you can read them over and over, but only one book, which one would you choose asks Brandy? Shit. I mean, I guess it's gonna be something along the lines of obviously like a silence of the lambs. It's gonna be a procedural. It's probably going to be a crime novel of some kind, but it's gonna need enough stuff in it. I almost said the Da Vinci code simply because Dan Brown put so much shit into that. Like there's so many things. There's like different parts. So like you're reading a bunch of I've never read it, but a bunch of books. Yeah, he just he just went he was like, what is the densest plot

I can put into this book. So do you learn a lot from it too? Kind of. I think you have to know things already, which is a real detriment for me. But it's like, Oh, yeah, that big fountain in Rome. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know about that fountain in Rome. And you can talk about that at parties. That's right. The fountain in Rome. But only like how there's like a dismembered head in it. Sure. Mine is and I've read it 16 times, maybe. And I still am obsessed with it is Middlesex by Jeffrey Genides. I think is how you say it. It is just one of the most beautifully written books I've ever fucking read. I adore it so much. I think everyone should read it. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I bet you I know books that are better written than the Givenchy.

Like I'm trying to think of keeping it fresh. You know what this that's why I love Middlesex is it goes it does go back and forth. So there are it feels like there's a bunch of different stories in it. Yes. Now that I think that I should have said something, something, Joan Didion, whatever. Would you really though? I mean, I love her writing. It's incredible. But yeah, it's not. I don't know. I just want to be entertained. Yeah. Carmen asks, would you rather always have a popcorn kernel stuck in your teeth or have Cheetos all over your fingers? Oh, no. Always. Always. Popcorn. What about you? Yeah, popcorn. I find it when you have Cheeto powder on your fingers. It's very shaming. Yeah, you look like a little fat kid. You do. And

and it gets everywhere. Everyone's going to notice it. It's hard to get off. Like you need a damp napkin. Yeah. So your teeth to scrape it off. That's what I do when you're alone. You let it build up. You eat like 20 in a row. And instead of sucking it off as you go, let it build up and then scrape it off almost like a fruit roll up on your own thumb. Yeah. Yeah. Can I tell you why once was at a barbecue place and saw dude, you know, you lick your fingers and it's like fine when you're alone, but it's kind of gross. Do you see someone else do it? Yes. He put all four fingers into his mouth at once and pulled them out and he was like on a date. No. And I was just like, oh, I'll never forget that. Did he make a noise? Like, did it make a noise when he pulled it back

out? I don't think I was close enough to hear it, but there's no way it couldn't. And he probably was just like, it wasn't even like a smacking. I have one of my favorite people in the world, a very good friend of mine. He used to do that where when he was finishing up eating, he would suck up. Yes. And he didn't. It was very unconscious because he really enjoyed his food. Sure. And I remember I would watch him do it and be like, if I didn't love you so much, this would infuriate me. It's just funny what boys like or people don't don't haven't learned yet because they're just fresh out of the house or don't have to ever learn. Do you think I want to fucking suck every finger? Yeah. That came out strong. That was a strong taste and a weird quote

if you just take it by it. Oh, me. I forgot. Let's see. Oh, Elvis, we do have a question for you actually. That's right. Well, he almost fell off the couch. Rachel wants to know, do you actually give Elvis a cookie at the end of each episode? And the answer is apps of fucking lately. He demands that he would scream in our fucking faces, if not, and that's how he's gotten trained so perfectly. Yeah. He actually comes in at the end of almost to the end of every show and knows it's time. Yeah. He gets the vibe. Darren asks, if you had three time jumps, when would you jump to? What are the three eras that you would like to go visit? I'd love to, as an adult, go into the 80s. No, I wouldn't. Fuck the 80s. Okay. 1940s, late 1800s, maybe 1850s, 1970s, 1970s instead of

80s. Yeah. I'd definitely like to go back to the 70s. It was so weird. Those are my most distant childhood memories. And it's like, everything was brown, everything was orange, everyone had long hair and everyone was unattractive. And yet that was the world that we all lived in. Everyone was a ragamuffin in some way. Yeah. It was very the trend of keeping it together had not started. It was weird. Do your best was not a thing yet. Not at all. It was like, take it easy. It was what was going on. So seven, I'd say 70s. I would say, yeah, Victorian England, whenever that is, you know, I guess Jack the Ripper time, 1888 would be pretty thrilling to go back to 1888 London, White Chapel. And then I think something weird, like something medieval,

maybe, or, or maybe. Transylvanian me. Yeah, sort of like creepy monks in the 1200s or something. I wouldn't want to stay there long though, because I think there was, you know, like 400 years or it was just overt religious oppression. And like the, you know, whenever the Spanish inquisition was. For some reason or another, you're not surviving any of those buccaneras. One is serial killers and one is a pox on you and your family. Right. There's actually a time though, you know what it is? It's the, is it the enlightenment or the whatever? But it was like after the Dark Ages, when everyone died, like literally half the people on the planet died of the black play. And so then suddenly there was land for people, there was enough food for everybody. And that's

how the, is it either the Reformation or the Enlightenment? That's how it happened is because suddenly everybody could be healthy because everyone died off and all those strong people survived. And you want to come at them and fucking, I want to be in that era where after they bury the bodies, yes, the, when it smells the least, yes, and people start going, ooh, I'm in it. Look at my painting of an angel. It's going to be next. I want to be there for that. Whenever that was. Okay, cool. 1505. Hey, Karen. Yeah. Would you rather be covered in fish scales or feathers? Who asked that? Oh, sorry. That was Catherine. Catherine.

Obviously feathers. Catherine. This is a very private question. But yeah, I think if it's gonna, it was going to help me fly feathers 100%. But if I get covered in fish scales and then I'm able to swim like a fish. Oh, I'd rather fly. I think I'd rather fly. Yeah. Because just as you have scales doesn't mean you have gills. Right. Smart. Right? So smart. Don't let her trick you. I'm not. Catherine is trying to get you to drown. Catherine's trying to drown me. Why are you doing that, Catherine? Okay, let's see. This is good. Alexandra asks, if you could create a magic vending machine that vended any single thing you wanted, what would you have it vend and how much would it cost people? So like anything for anyone?

Yes. And the cost. And the cost. The first thing I think of is EpiPens. Oh, that'd be really nice. And let's not have them be crazy. Martin Chacrally, a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. Let's have them be like, you can get an EpiPen for 20 bucks. Okay, great. I want to say emergency anxiety puppies, but I don't want them to be held in like a vending machine. No, that would be that sounds cruel. So you're saying dead dogs for people that are nervous. What about, okay, can my vending machine? No, not dead dogs. Okay, good, good, good, good. Can my vending machine be like a plush, happy home that's got, you know, acres of land? Okay, and then they can get a puppy. But it all ends in like a one thing. Yeah.

Is a vending machine, is there a definition or can I can be what I want? It feels like it can be what you want. I feel like this is, yeah, it's not actually going to happen. So it could be whatever I want. So that's what I want. A puppy when someone's having an anxiety attack. Yeah. 20 bucks again. And then a puppy garbage can right next to it when you're done. Those things are expensive. I can buy so much. No, recycle. You recycle puppy. Recycle and live, everybody. Yes. Think globally, but then go ahead and act locally with those puppies. Go ahead and grab yourself a puppy. An emergency anxiety puppy. Oh, that was mine. Oh, shit. Okay. I keep forgetting all the way down. Oh, sorry. Hey, Karen, Chrissy wants to know what odd smell you

actually enjoy. Skunk. I actually got a good one. Overtly mocked. I said that out loud in carpool in third grade. And every kid, for some reason, we had like 30 kids in our carpool. There was always so many children imagining that there was no, there was hundreds of kids in this station waiting. And I said, we drove by 70s, which yeah, right. There's as many people in the car. There was no limit. We, because we lived out in the country, we would be we experienced smells of all kinds and there was people who were always hitting skunks. So we went through a particularly pungent skunk cloud and every all the kids went and I being the young punk rock rebel that I am. In third grade, I actually kind of like that smell. And then Karen says skunk lover for so long,

for so long. And then I was just like sitting there like, I have to get out of this town. Yeah. Then you did. Yeah. The next day. How about you? I've said Elvis's breath before, but I think, okay, dry saliva. You know that smell. Do you know what smell I'm talking about? Yes. Because when I was a kid, when I was like until way too old for it to be appropriate, I sucked my thumb. Oh, right. And held onto my blanket with my little blankie with the same hand. And so I would move the blankie around so I could smell the blanket because I was like obsessed with smells. Yes. And so there were parts of it that just smelled like my dried saliva. And so now even when I smell something that smells like it, I am comforted by it. That's funny. It's gross.

That's, I mean, I just, that's such a, that's such a good one. It's such, I would have never guessed that. It's so good. And I can't describe the smell at all. No, it's real specific though. I think everyone knows that smell. Yeah. But you want someone who's dried saliva, who they also love flossing. And that's key, right? Yeah, it's probably not anyone, just for anyone's dried saliva. No. Not just any, anyone who happens by. You know, not anyone. Okay. I think you'll like this. Okay. Wait, did I do smells? You just did. I think I did. Alexandra asks, describe your perfect grilled cheese meal, what cheeses, how much, what bread, any side, any drink. Fucking amazing. Okay. Uh, sourdough? Yeah. Ooh, or rye.

How about sourdough rye? Shit. Yeah. They have that? They fucking, absolutely have that now in my, in my mind. In your mind's bakery? In my mind. And that's like the big slices too. You know, like, so it's not just a small sandwich. Right. Sourdough, rye, like, and it would be a mix of like cheddar and maybe some mozzarella and what other kind of cheeses are there? Jack. I don't care about Jack. I like a little pepper jack. Well, you asked me. And then I said, no. So a couple of different cheeses and then tomato. I love tomato and a grilled cheese sandwich. Okay. I also love to dip it in ketchup. Oh, me too. Don't, you know, 100% buttery as fuck. Yes. And then a sweet potato tater tots on the side. And then a really nice

glass of red wine with it. Beautiful. Do you love that? I think mine's very similar, except for I would do straight up sourdough cooked well so that that bread is toasted up nice. It better be crispy as fuck. It needs to be crispy. It's also great if they can get a little accidental cheese on the outside. So it's like crispy and griddled. So you get some of that like cheese crisp. Yes. I would like, I would maybe like, I don't mind American cheese in this scenario because of the texture. Just American cheese? Well, if they could do an American cheddar that doesn't taste like a chemical plant, that's great. Okay. Essentially, it's anyone like it's basically a diner grilled cheese sandwich for sure. And then regular shoestring fries dip. I dip

mine in ketchup as well. Don't charge everyone. No, it's really delicious. It actually brings it all together. Bacon in there? No, just tomatoes are too slippery. I don't like, I don't like a half cooked fucking tomato. I know why I love it. Invasion. I don't mind some chicken noodle soup on the side of that. Is that what your drink is? Is that what your drink is? Iced on ice with a straw. Can you get a mug of an iced chicken noodle soup with a straw? A chicken noodle soup milkshake on the side. Oh, God. Yeah, that's good. Oh, it's my turn. Now my, now my saliva is mine. Can let me smell it. Yeah. Let's see. Okay. Bridget wants to know if you could live in any movie as yourself, not as a character, what movie would that be?

Amadeus. What? Picture it. How hilarious. There's like a girl in black sweatpants and a black v-neck shirt just standing over on the side and Amadeus like, look at these guys go. Look at these idiots. Look at these outfits. How do they put these on every day? I really love that movie so much. We were just talking about it at work today. I love it so much. And that, like the art design in that movie and everything about it is so ornate and insane and beautiful. Like it would be, I would love to be in any of those places for real and seeing all those people in those outfits. That's great. Yeah. The first thing that came to my mind and I don't know why is Notting Hill. It just always seemed like a really charming place movie to be in. Sure. You

know. Yep. And then the next one was Who Framed Roger Rabbit. So I think that's the one. Yeah. That would be pretty fun. I think I would thrive in that atmosphere. Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And just I love, I'd always loved, I thought that was such a brilliant concept of like people having to interact with cartoons and what that means for both. Yeah. Yeah. It's fascinating. Good one. Thank you too. Thank you. Thank you everyone. When he asks, what celebrity could you actually see yourself marrying? I married already. This is just conceptual. Okay. We won't be held against you. Okay. It's like, okay, here's the thing. Sliding doors you never met Vince. You're still here mucking around in the horrible singles life

that is living in Los Angeles. She said with a silent tear running down her cheek. Who's yours? Because yours, it could be real. Yours could be fucking real. Let's put it out into the universe. What? It has to be a Skarsgard or a Sarsgard. It could be real only if it's a Sarsgard or a Skarsgard. No, I think that for the one that came to mind first and the one that feels great is Mark Ruffalo. Even though I know he's married, he has children, he's like all about it. Oh, he's such a husband. He's a man. He's like a real man. He's not like a hot boy. Yeah. He's to me like if he pulled up Jake Ryan style and was waiting for you outside an event and he was just like, Hey, I just wanted to, I might run. It would be so exciting because he's just like

there. Run into his arms. I might run straight into his arms. I love it. Okay. It has to be for me a Duplass brother. Really? I think the one from, which one's the one from Transparent? I don't know. Jerry. Is it Jerry the Rebel? Stephen, look it up. Is it Pierre? Nope. Keep going. It's not Pierre Duplass. It's Leslie. It's Leslie Duplass. Leslie Duplass. The one with the long mustache? Not the short mustache. Jay. It's Jay, isn't it, Stephen? Is that too real? I feel like that might be too real. No, I think people want it. Jay Duplass. That's exciting. He makes good documentaries. He makes great stuff. He's cute. He looks Jewish. He's not. Neither has been, so clearly doesn't matter. Yeah, that's right.

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search effort, but the trail quickly runs dry. As the air supply for the trapped children dwindles, a pair of unlikely heroes emerges. Follow against the odds wherever you get your podcast. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Debra is starting some shit here. She wants to know if there's anything in your upcoming book that you're either really excited or nervous for people to read about. There's one story that you fred it over. No, I mean, the whole thing because it's a memoir. So it's like, there's all kinds of honesty and true stories and shit that we delve into that we were forced. There's a lot of vulnerability. We were forced into vulnerability and it's difficult. I would say there's the one

that I wrote about how to be a latchkey kid is my favorite. It's my favorite. I'm excited to see. So you're nervous and in excitement. You're excited for it? Well, what's the question? It's not which one you like the best. It's, is there anything that you're either really excited? Oh, yeah, you're wrong. I'm wrong. It's excited. You're not. Oh, yeah, you're wrong. Excited or nervous for people to read about. Yeah, yeah. All apologies. That's nice. It'd be that one. And then I'm like nervous in general, of course, entirely, because it's, I think it's, we're just going to keep on learning how vulnerable we became. Yeah. Cause it's so normal to us that the stories we told and like, you wrote about that. Yeah. I wrote, but the one I wrote about,

and I had told you about it and the first time I ever told anyone about it was you in the podcast is going up on a mountain to take photos with a photographer I barely knew alone. Yeah. And it gets, there's a lot more shit to it that I didn't talk about with you. And it's just kind of a scary, a name changing, you know, I had to change names and shit, scary story that is really exposing that I'm, I'm nervous about. Yeah. But I'm also excited to tell it. So. Well, good. Yeah. Well, then let me just ask you this. Aaron wants to know, but I'm asking. Okay. You're fighting crime and you get a super naturally intelligent animal sidekick. Would you rather have a gorilla or a bear? I've always wanted a pet bear. Same here. Yeah. Same here. So cute. I mean,

the idea that a bear would be smart so they wouldn't like maul the shit out of you. Yeah. And would just hang out with you and make suggestions. Essentially a dog then. Yeah. A big dog that smells. But a dog that you could sit in like one of those children's oversized chairs. Like a husband, like the pill husband pillows. You know those? Yeah. Hey, let's ask one for Steven. Okay. That Steven could answer. Hey, Steven, Christine wants to know how did Steven become the sound engineer? Did you know him previously? I mean, I was just a fan of both of yours. Oh, why didn't you say that sooner? I know I should have opened with that. No, and just in getting into podcast producing. And I asked Georgia to be on the podcast. And Georgia was like, oh,

you seem to know what you're doing. Would you want to ever do more of this? Like I'm starting a little true crime podcast with Karen Kulgarov. Like, and I was like, hell, yeah, I'd love to do this. This is like the most fun thing in the world. And you live like a block for me at the time, too. It's great. Cool. Well, thank you. You're fired. We didn't. But you didn't know Steven before per cast, right? We had met a few times, like at Meltdown. Yeah, yeah, just through going to comedy shows. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Not me. I didn't know Steven at all. Brand new. And I tried to have him fired a couple times. Just a couple. Georgia Courtney asks, what are your thoughts on psychics, mediums, and the like? I think they're cool and fun,

but it really frustrates me when I listen or hear about an old or current investigation that, like, legitimately uses them because I think it's just impossible and it's a waste of funds and time. You're totally wrong. You're 100% wrong. It's real. Didn't you ever see psychic investigators? That series? No. And it's like these grisly old cops that you can tell are not in any way woo-woo at all. And they find a person that's like, yeah, you're going to need to drive up here, and then they find the body. No way. I swear to God. I think it's called psychic investigators. I'll watch it and I will. It will make you a believer. Okay. I want to believe. I think it's like, personally, I think it's case by case. There's definitely a lot of

phonies out there, like anything. Yeah. There's a lot of people that are totally full of shit. And then I also think there's people that were born with different perceptions and have known things and do know things and like you can't be explained. But it's like, not helpful if it's not specific. It has to be so specific to be like, I see that they're buried it near a lake or some shit. And it's like, well, they actually, cops spend or the, you know, the investigation spends money on those people. Right. And sometimes they find them. And you know what else? You're right. And also it also. Are you yes-anting me? Yes, I am. Yes. And I am. It also gets publicity for the case too. So that's, and then so maybe that'll stir

some memories up and shit. The only thing where I think it's, it is awful is those people that fucking try to prey on the family. Right. Those people should be killed by a different psychic who's right. Yeah. With their mind. Okay. That was a bit strong. But I do think those are, you get the true sociopaths on the lowest of the low where they're like, I can reunite you with your departed loved one. That's just the meanest thing you could ever do. Okay. And the cheapest thing you could ever do. Okay. It sounds like you don't agree with me. No, I agree with you. Okay. I just don't know how you can tell those people from the real ones though. Like what if those real ones people think they're legit. The real ones get results. But you won't get, if you don't keep

throwing shit out there, what if you don't, what if you think you're right? Well, yeah. I mean, like there's, there's a whole spectrum of like, it's not black and white. There's all these gray areas in the middle. But there are, I mean, like, I wish I could just show you this one episode of psychic investigators where the lady was like, I need to tell you something because I dreamed it. And let's drive up to this place. Was it Teresa Caputo? She was Teresa Caputo-esque, but her hair was not blonde. She had that feel. She was like, I know that lady. Yeah. Oh, okay. My turn. Yeah. Caitlin wants to know, would you rather be alone forever or be with the person of your dreams perfect in every way, Karen, except that person has lobster claws for hands?

100% lobster claws. Yeah, you can handle lobster claws. You probably eventually come to really love lobster claws. Prefer lobster claws. Yes, because the person is perfect in every way. Then he knows how to fucking wield those lobster claw hands. The question was asked by a person that's never been alone in their fucking life. Or been with someone with lobster claws. Which are amazing. Which will happen to be. Amazing. Colleen wants to know, and I don't know why, if you were butter, what would you spread yourself on? Colleen, what's happening? My grilled cheese sandwich. My lover's lobster claws. Karen, that is so dirty. And this is Q&A after midnight. Can we talk about how excited

written Scott when we pulled up in Charleston and there was a fucking red lobster across the street. It was so close to our hotel. It looked like the hotel was like in conjunction with. Started rambling about Cheddar Bay Biscuits and today it was over. He was like, I'm heading over. He's still there. So funny. We left him there. He was excited. I was like, sorry, that sounds like fish. I can't. Oh, right. I can't do it. But someone's Christina wants to know, do you record all your live shows? How do you know which show recordings to post? And will we ever hear some of these show recordings that do not get posted? Oh, it sounds like someone needs to join the fan cult. Excuse me, Christina. It turns

out that we're posting old episodes that we've never posted or old shows that we've never posted as episodes every month on the fan cult. And one's about to drop on Friday. We haven't picked which one it is yet. Chris asks, who was your childhood crush? Corey Feldman. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. A hundred, a hundred times over. Yeah. So in love with him. I, you know, it's funny. For some reason, we started watching clips of the outsiders at work today. I loved to see Thomas Howell so much. So much. Did I tell you the story already? Maybe. I love to see Thomas Howell from the outsiders. And he was also just like, you know, the tiger beat teen for the next, you know, five years or whatever. And I used to have

this thing all the time when I was younger, like if we would go to the beach on the weekend with, like I'd go with my family when I was 12, I'd get ready, but I'd be like, get ready, just in case, see Thomas Howell. I would always, it always is this thing of just in case. Yeah. Get ready as if. So cut to 30 years later, probably. And we go to see the movie Red Dawn at the New Art Theater here in LA. And I, of course, have a very large sweatshirt on, no makeup. You didn't get ready for see Thomas Howell. Didn't get ready. And then the guy goes up into the front of the theater. I was like, it's the 1985 film Red Dawn. And we're so excited because tonight see Thomas Howell is here. And he fucking stands up. He was like two rows in front

of me. Oh my God. And I was just sitting there like, no way. Like the time that I, I mean, it was, I'd done it a lot, but it was just like, Oh, this, I should have gotten ready. Why didn't I get ready? And then after they showed the movie, which is delightful, he got up in front of the movie theater and just started talking massive shit about like just telling Hollywood stories and talking about, it was so funny. He was just being really real. Like this, that movie was like the fourth movie he'd done with Patrick Swayze. And he's like, man, I was sick of that asshole. Like it was like that. The whole theater was just enthralled. It was so exciting. I really, I love that. And speaking of Patrick Swayze, I was in love with

him as a kid. And I, dirty dancing, I saw in fourth grade, got a perm because I wanted to look like Jennifer Gray so bad. Of course. Obsessed with it. Favorite movie ever. We recently put it on and it is so problematic and troubling. Yes. That this 16 year old girl is fucking what essentially is a 30 something year old man, at least 30, at least 30 something. It's so, there are so many problems. And yet I was, it was like my first time that I ever was like, Oh, I want to grow up and fuck someday. I just was like, this is it. I want to be and do this, all of it. This is what love is. This is how it is. Another thing I think is kind of problematic in that is that, yeah, he's put kind of supposed to

have this like, there's another woman in his life and he's really mean to her. Yes. Up until like the very end. Horribly mean. Really rude. Not that cool. And her poor father, what's his name? Jerry Orbach. Who's the most amazing man. And like, how can you, how can you disobey Jerry Orbach? I know. Jennifer Gray. So not, not that anymore.

That's so funny. That's a good one. Denise wants to know, if you could know the truth behind every conspiracy, but you would instantly die if you hinted that you knew the truth. Would you want to know? I'm not a good secret keeper. I want to know. I feel like the burden of knowing would kill me. Like, if right now, all of a sudden, I was like, aliens are real. They live directly under this city. Here's who could kill JFK. Yeah. Like the whole thing, it would just be like one, your mind would like,

yeah, literally be blown out. Like probably just fuse out. Yeah. Just, just kind of dribble out of your ear. But I think I would want to go for it. Yeah. Because I'm just, it's just so interesting to me. Yeah. To like, all the, like, what are the pyramids for? Yeah.

Is it? What if it's not a conspiracy, though, and you don't get to know? Oh, like it doesn't count. They're like, they just wanted to build a thing. Oh, I'm like, I'm only here for the pyramids. It's just a tomb. They just wanted to. No, it's supposed to be a big generator, light generator. And then what if like, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if,

what's his name did kill JFK and there was no conspiracy at all? I'd be, I'd be at least okay with that. Then you'd at least know, too. Yes. I would more, I would more want to know of like the cryptozoology type of like, do we actually have a big foot in captivity? Lizard people. The lizard people. Center of the earth, conspiracy stuff.

In charge of the government right now. That's right. Yeah. I want to know all that stuff. I think I wouldn't, because A, what's the point of knowing really cool, interesting things if you don't get to tell people about them at parties and shit? Very good point. Like, and you don't get like to be known as the person who knows everything. What a fucking boring life.

Yeah. What am I talking about? I would like, that would be the worst for me. Right. And then also too, it's like so much fun to speculate and so much fun to try to find out the truth, quote, or, you know, like what you think is the truth. Yes. Then what's, if you just knew, it'd be like, oh, I guess I'm not, what am I going to do late at night scrolling when I, you know, you just sit there like rocking back and forth.

Yeah. So I'm never going to look up Jean Benet again. I mean, but the thing is, I've watched so many episodes of ancient aliens and I just would love to know a couple things. There's some stuff happening in Japan. I just really love to know the answer to. I'll tell you this. Then I die. What am I dying? Just like, you must know the truth. Turns out I knew that's the whole time.

Which one? Which one? Tell me. Well, this, the most recent episode of ancient aliens, I actually watched it when we were on tour. And there was just this whole thing about this Shinto religion. It's like 5,000 years old and it has a lot of symbolism that they interpret, of course, because they interpret everything on ancient aliens as being from messengers from beyond the sky or whatever that narrator does. Let's be on the sky. That's not what he says. It sounded okay to me though.

But there's like a couple, there's like Shinto temples in Japan where there's things that they, no one can explain it type of thing, but only like, they only, only certain people have access, but they were showing pictures of. You're like, clearly that's a fucking alien. A spacecraft or whatever. Well, there's like masks from 5,000 years ago where they're like, how did they make a mask out of metal that also has like the eyes are poking out like sticks? Or they're like, why would they make eyes look, look like that?

Unless they're like trying to show lasers. Laser at it or something of aliens. It's just fascinating. I love it. I do too. I don't want to, how about, how about we make Steven know? And then he has to die for us. No.

Yeah. Okay. Like Jesus, he has to die for us. What if that, what if the truth of the, that mask, I don't even know if that was actually from Japan or for somewhere else, but the long eyed mask, the person that made it's like, I just fucked up that one mask. Yeah. Don't go crazy.

Oh, one time I got, I saw a guy who got sticks poked in his eyes and so I made a mask to represent it. It bummed me out and I wanted to work through it. Buy aliens. Buy aliens. But there really are aliens. Did you just do buy men in? I did.

Good. I did, I had to. Okay, your turn. Emma asks, if you could have your food, water taste like one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Food and water only taste like one more thing, one thing forever. Yeah. Dry saliva?

Beef jerky. Really? Maybe, yeah. Crackers? Beef jerky. Beef jerky. Because like, I feel like I want to say like chocolate, but I think I don't always love sweets, so I feel like I'd get really fucking sweet of chocolate.

Yeah. Sick of sweets. Chocolate. Yeah. Jesus. So, but beef jerky, savory. True. I bet beef jerky water would sell really well.

How much you want to bet? That's what's in my vending machine. That's good. Beef jerky water, it's $500. Nice. Good. Only the rich can taste this delicious product. That's right.

You can make it yourself by just sticking a hole through a slim gym and sucking water through it. Right. That's a straw. That's yours. Um, that's also a good invention. Boom. Slim gym straws.

Stop hurting turtles. God heart hurting yourself. How good would that be in a Bloody Mary, a slim gym straw? Don't, you better trademark that. Why am I not working for a restaurant? No, you have to get out of here now. I honestly think I love nectarine so much that I think I could do nectarines and not be mad about it.

That's a much better one. They're delicious. That's great. A real one, a good one, that's ripe and all that. Not like nectarine flavor, not nectarine candy flavor. No, no, no. No, legit nectarine. All right, I dig it.

If there's a God powerful enough to ask this question, then they can make a real nectarine flavor. I think so. I hope so. Melanie asks us, what is your most useless talent? That's a great question. That is a great question. I am, hold on, let me think, because I was just, oh no, it's not useless though.

Petting cats is actually a really useful talent. I would say mine is in that moment after somebody brings delivery to my house. The, I turn around sometimes if I feel insecure or self-conscious. No. I'll turn around and pretend I'm calling that people that are in the house. Like, and I'm really good at making it sound realistic where I'm like, okay, come, you guys, come on. Can throw your voice and be like, is the food here?

The food's here. But I do it, it's very like downplayed. I'm not excited or whatever. It's just like, why, why haven't you come out of the office yet type of thing? So I think that I have, I've fooled so many postmates into believing there's one other person in my house to eat with me. I have a question on top of that. Okay.

Because this happened to me the other night. What's the most amount of silverware they've given you in an order that, because we got four fucking silverwares the other night or like plastic ware. What's the most you've ever gotten? Well, here's the thing. And this is good. I'm really going to reveal something. But sometimes I get insecure.

Like if I'll order a medium pizza and a salad or whatever. And I'll be like, this seems like too much food. So I'll just get two drinks. Oh. So it just is like, there's potentially two people here. I thought you were going to say like two entrees just to be like, see, there's two people here. Oh, yeah.

No, no. Is that like room service too? You do that? Well, it just depends. If I already have a drink, then I won't do it. Okay. And I don't really care about room service because they've seen things that are like, no one should ever see.

And it's not weird to get one in a hotel room. No. And usually I think it's just sometimes I'll order postmates and get, I'll be like, oh, I'll eat that tomorrow or do some weird thing where then I just don't want. I don't know. The eating disorder mentality is very difficult to explain around stuff like that. But I just know that I've probably convinced maybe I'd say a normal, I mean, a reasonable estimation would be I have convinced six postmates

that somebody else is in the other room. Wow. As I turn around, very casually shutting the door. Okay. Wow. Come on, you guys. Isn't that sad and ghosty? Everyone, like there's not just one person.

It's you guys. I pretend that there's four small children all under the age of five. Okay. Like you wouldn't hear any of that. Danny, Elizabeth, Michelle, Carlyle. Danny, Elizabeth, Michelle and Carlyle, come and get your one pizza that I feel weird about eating because I was raised in the 80s where people felt free to tell you all about what you looked like every goddamn day.

Enjoy food or have it. Okay. Nope. My useless talent is I'm really good at ordering. Like I am, and you know this from me. It's your passion. It's my passion. I'm fucking great at it.

If it's like a bunch of us, if it's just two of us, like I am good at being like, here's what we're getting. Here's like, and I'll make sure that you're getting what you want and I'm getting what I want, but it's like fair and there's plenty of like table items to share a little of everything. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really good at that. I'd say it's a useful time though.

I wouldn't diminish that because sometimes, especially if you're in a group, you're sitting there staring at the menu and you're just like, I don't fucking know. Yeah. So I'm also good at the end of the night doing the like, here's how much each person owes and being the one who like does the thing. But that's good. I just pay for it. But that's a very useful talent too.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess I don't have any useless talent. Napping, I'm really good at napping. I'm really good at fucking napping and waking up exactly two hours of napping. There you go. Yeah. Like to the without a fucking alarm. It's like two hours.

Sweet. Yeah. That's it. That's all that needs to be said. Truly. Oh, I, how about this last one, which I just love. Okay. Um, because I think it's someone who deserves his due and it is Mackenzie asked my friend

and I went, um, met you in Charlotte, North Carolina this past weekend and we really enjoyed the music you had playing during the meet and greet. Who chooses the music? You know who Vince Averill, he makes us a new mix every time. Yep. He wants it upbeat and fun. If we're like, we hate that song. It's off by the fucking next night.

Yep. He is, he jams it. It's loud enough so that people can cry and tell us private things, but not so loud that I have a headache. Yeah. He's, he's the music dude. He gets it. He knows, he knows our jam.

That's right. And he, because of his music taste, now I like the band, the XX because of his good taste. Right. And also a lot of people have been saying how much they appreciate it. So he takes the photos, the fans, the people, the fans, the people in line give him their camera and then he takes photos of us, but he takes a bunch of candid ones beforehand of us just talking and people have been saying how much they appreciate that. They don't even know they're there until they leave.

So if he does that, then he's really good at it too. He's really good in general. He's just a good one. Jay Duplass, I don't need that motherfucker. He can go into hell. I like how much you don't even want to conjecture about marrying a different person. It's bad. It's very sweet.

Thank you. All right. Well, I think that's it, right? Yeah. Let's, let's wrap it up. Thanks for listening guys. We'll have another one of these some days. So I think I have a weird question that then we'll answer it maybe.

Yeah. And thanks to all of you who sent these ones in and gave us stuff to talk about and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?