My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 148 - Live at the Community Center Theater in Sacramento

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

Karen and Georgia cover attempted assassin Squeaky Fromme and the Lodi Haystack Murder. Plus surprise guest Paul Holes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music. Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. Hello. Hi everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It's a Thanksgiving, a special Thanksgiving episode that we're posting for you today. That's right. We're about to do, put another live show up, the Sacramento show with a very special Thanksgiving guest. But it's Paul Holes. Everyone knows it's Paul Holes. That secret broke so long ago. Okay. Well, it's Paul Holes. But we just wanted to say hi real quick and happy Thanksgiving to

everyone on their way to hang out with their families and fight. Well, if it's Thursday, they're probably there. Oh, right. Right. There, many of you are probably trying to get away from your family in another room with your earbuds in. Realizing you didn't bring in your Xanax prescription. You forgot it somehow. Or you fucked up the sweet potatoes. That's right. Staring at you out of the corner of their eye. Yeah. Or you're vegan and you're just like, I don't know. How, how do I have to explain another year that you know I don't eat turkey? Yeah. But do you eat shrimp? No, I don't eat anything. No, I'm different than you. And then everyone making fun of your turduck or what is it called? The vegan tofurky? Oh, tofurky. Yeah. I mean, definitely drink today.

If you're allowed to. I mean, that's something you can handle doing. Definitely eat today. Do yourself well. Take things lightly. Don't take things personally. Remember, everyone is a flawed human being. That's right. Especially your parents. Especially members of your direct family who hurt your feelings for no reason. For decades. And also, please remember that if that's not actually the situation you're in, and you're with a group of people that you like to talk to, get those stories for us. Yes. We want to know family secrets. We want to know murders that your mom has, murderers that your mom has dated, right? We want to know near misses and strange happenings. Your sister-in-law who you

like don't have much in common with. Ask her if she knows any murderers. Ask her what the weirdest thing that's ever happened to her in college was, and she'll be able to tell you five interesting stories. Say, hey, do you have any weird uncles that are incarcerated? That's right. We, that's the first thing you should, anyone that you haven't talked to before at your Thanksgiving dinner, demand to know if they've been in jail or they know anybody in jail. That's right. And just kick it off from there. There you go. And do that after I'd say the fifth beer. Yeah. Just so everyone gets a little loosey-goosey. That's right. You know, or just enjoy yourself in another way. Sure. We're just giving you the guidelines of what we think you should do.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving? I'm going to be with my family. We now have the best Thanksgiving. That's basically like a family friend's giving. Oh, nice. So we don't, normally we go to my aunt Jo's, but she lives like you sat in South San Francisco. So it's just a pain to travel on that day. Yeah. And so we've been staying in Petalumun and partying with the Coliseum family. It sounds so nice. It's really nice. Where I don't know how, I don't know what my sister was thinking, but she did this like, we've been parents, kids of divorced parents for our whole lives, basically. And she should know that you don't, we have two Thanksgiving. That's like what you do. Right. Somehow she was like,

I don't want to fucking deal with this. You guys have to hang out together on Thanksgiving. So we're going to like an old school steakhouse. Oh. And my mom will be there and my mom's wonderful boyfriend, John. And then my dad will be there too. So I'm going to be drinking plenty. It now can Marty and Janet sit at a table together? They can be very civil. They'll be very civil. And get along. Okay. My mom did say, I just don't want John to become friends with your dad. Which I totally get. I get that. You know, your ex becomes friends like with your new boyfriend or whatever. And suddenly they start swapping stories about what a pain in the ass you are. Exactly. Yeah. No, she's right. She's totally right. Keep them far away from each other.

So I'm just going to be, I'm going to be living through that on Thursday. Now, are you going to get steak or are you going to get things turkey? Think I'm going to get turkey. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a good, ugh. I think Thanksgiving might be one of my favorite holidays just because that meal is so like satisfying. So good. And then for days you get to eat it. Yeah. It's fun. That's what's not fun about going out to eat because you don't have leftovers. You should order two entrees and then say, I'm back in that eating disorder again. And then just take it home for sandwiches. Oh, I would rather lie that I have my,

I'm still with my eating disorder than just say I want to take it home for later. That's what you suggest. My suggestion is at any time that you can tell people lies, just always be throwing people off your sense. Okay. They don't need to know what your true business is. Keep them guessing. And keep them M-Y-O being. And then it makes, what's that? Minding their own business, but with a you. And then, and then keep them make yourself always seem more interesting than you are. Yes. Yes. I'm so boring. That's right. Without, well, without, what, without all my eating disorders and your secrets and your turkey secrets. Right. Keep some turkey secrets this holiday season for yourself. You're worth it.

You deserve as much turkey as you want. And don't forget to buy yourself a little can of the cranberry jelly. Oh yeah. Not cocktail, not the one with the weird shells of cranberries. No, no, no. The plain old jelly. In the can that has the can rings. Yes. And everything. So you know exactly how much to slice off. A hundred percent. Now I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I'm so excited. Well, guess what? What? Thanksgiving today. Woo! So enjoy the live episode, everyone. And we'll be back next week with normal episodes. Yes. Like normal fucking people. And like that, that are normal people. Don't order two entrees. And lie about reading disorder.

And don't tell you to order two entrees. Right. It's really normal. We're so normal, you guys. The normalist. Okay. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye. Elvis, you weren't Thanksgiving. No, you want a cookie? There it is. What's up, Sacramento? My mic's not working. Hi. Yeah, there. Talk loud into it. Okay, hi. Don't make the microphone do all the work. You have to really project from your ear. Yes. Oh my God. Hi, guys. You guys. Let me have that. Let me see that. Thank you.

Nice. Yes. Excellent. Excellent. It's just my style, too, because it's just like a piece of paper and a Sharpie. And she's like, this afternoon, thank you. I love it. She sat down in her chair tonight and she was like, does anybody have any neon yellow poster board? And who has a Sharpie? That's just my style. That was really a lovely welcome. It was very beautiful to hear you scream that loud at me. And I know that 70% of it is rage. I know that. And I like it. It's you've fallen into my trap. It's what I want. Well, half the people here tonight are Kilgaros. That's right. That's right. Either Kilgaros or the 18th Street Hellcats. That's my other. That's that's my posse that. Are you a gang? Yeah, we were a gang in 1991.

We were what they call a beer gang where our weapon was alcoholism against ourselves. And we lost the gang war. We lost it all. We're in a great time doing it. We're excited. You guys sent us so many postcards to my PO. Wow. Sacramento, Mordorinos, my the post guy. Thank you. Our my post office guy hates my guts now. So much worth it. He's kind of a dick. It's Georgia's personal PO box. That's right. So she is where she's getting like, you know, she'll be like, Oh, look what I ordered from Sephora or whatever. And then it's like 50,000 postcards of like, Get up here now, bitches. We're like, Okay, I mean, do you insist? And we did. Wasn't like that before. But okay.

You have something you want to show me. And I'm excited about it. Don't fucking tee up my thing. I brought a picture. Yeah. Just so people would understand, because I think there's a lot of people trying to fucking talk to me on Twitter about how I need to apologize. I need to do this and that. No, it's not happening. You can fucking you can let that dream die tonight. Oh, oh my God. Karen. Look at her. Look what this city did to her.

Look at the pain in her eyes. Look at the pain behind the blue eyeliner around her eyes. Did you run out of eyeliner this whole city? And that's why you hate it because you used it all up. My neck is three shades darker than my face. This is so this is my friend, one of my closest friends. We went to high school together. And then she said to me at the end of senior year, she goes, I want to go to Sac State. Will you just come with me and live in the dorms with me? And I was like, Okay, that's Patty Riley. Give it up for Patty Riley. Now, the problem was I didn't get my paperwork done in time because back in the 80s, you had to parent yourself. So I didn't have,

I didn't have a couple of helicopter parents being like, Oh, we did your paperwork for you. You're going to have a great time in college. Literally, my mother like threw it all down and was like, we're going on a cruise. See you later. So I didn't turn it in. So I had to live with my sister and my cousin Nancy for the first month of college. And they, they had come in, they were there, they had gone to junior college first, and then they came. So they were like 20, they were over it. They didn't give a shit. They wanted to live in an apartment. They wanted to be an adult and they did not want me on their couch. They're pull out couch every morning that I was like, do I have to make the couch or can I just go to school? My sister's like, you better

make that couch right now. So then we finally got into the dorms. And that's my roommate, Shelly Wilson, who, who, sure, give it up. Shelly Wilson of Modesto, California. She's, yeah, she is Reba McIntyre's number one fan. Oh my God. Yeah. Not fucking kidding. Oh, but if you take a look up to the left, you'll see that I was not Reba McIntyre's number one fan. I enjoyed Echo. I enjoyed the Bunnyman. There's never been a more eighties, early nineties photo ever taken. Shelly's hair is taller than all of us and she was not that tall. Yeah. Her sweater is just like, what's up my mateys? Love it. Are those who like shapes? Shapes. Shapes. Everywhere. It's crazy.

Fashion is shapes and shapes are fashion. It's kooky. It's fun. Drink some vodka. But then of course, just to kind of round out, because one side was Reba and one side was Echo and the Bunnyman. So to kind of bring, to join those, that sounded like throat cancer, to kind of build a bridge between those two. We just lined the walls with Coors light bottles. I don't know. I don't remember. Finish another one and then just put it out. Clink. Clink. Go into class. Probably not. Clink. And your face, I've never seen such anger. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like my cat Mimi's face. Just this, just, why would you take a photo of me? Like, just like, what are you doing? Finish it. Do it and be done with it. I love it. Little did

she know what the fucking future held. Like selfies. Oh, everywhere. So sad. All right. So anyway, it's your fault, not mine. Thanks so much. Thank you. Tell them about what you're wearing. Why don't you go and why don't you talk about your dress? I'm wearing a Halloween dress. Thank you. I'm excited to be wearing it because there's little skulls on it. You really can't wear it a lot because I'm not golf. So one time a year, I get to wear it. We're dressing up for our Halloween show. So I couldn't wear it for that. Haven't worn it in so long. I forgot it was ripped on the side. So please ignore that. Wait, when's it from? Like, oh, two years ago. You got in there. I wore it for one sum tour. It's a pocket. It's essentially a pocket. It's a high pocket.

It is because you could throw change in there and it would stop right there. That's the new thing is just make your own pocket, rip your fucking dress. Keys, pen knife. Buy cheap shit, pen knife. Random change. Hang on, let me get my... Do you want some gum? Yeah. What about yours? Those are a nice shoe, I will say. They're new, right? Oh. I know, it's hard to hear. It is hard to hear. It's a real little echoey with each other. Yeah. No, I've had these. Oh, really? They look really fancy. I do the thing where I find one pair of shoes that fit and I buy them in 800 colors. Then I just don't think about it. Oh, these are the same as gold and red? They're the same as gold. They're the same as the ones I got married in,

my red ones. And they're comfortable. My clock. We're doing ads now. Live show. No, they don't advertise with us anymore. Promo code. Murder. This, on the other hand, has low pockets. Oh, I was going to tell the racing story, but I think we posted that show. Everybody knows it. We don't have stories anymore. Catch. Under the tour. Last leg. We got to start going crazy and doing drugs. So we have cool stories to tell about the road. Rock and roll. We're so boring. All we do is just order food and go back to the hotel and sit in bed and eat food and watch forensic files. Yeah. Pretty sweet. Sometimes I'll crack a tiny bottle of wine from the mini bar. Sometimes I'll crack a Pringles can. I've never liked Pringles until we started touring. And

then I was like, God damn, these little guys are everywhere I go. Like little friends. Oh, hi to welcome you to your hotel room. It's me and that guy with the mustache talking. Hey, Mr. Pringles. Hi, Karen. Oh, oh, it's so sad. The Pringle guy. The Pringle guy and I are quite close. Should we? Oh, dear. Should we sit down? Vince just said to us, our tour manager slash our husband, Vince just said to her husband, you're going to laugh when you see the chairs. It'll be, and he's not wrong. This is, yeah, the Chinese. Oh, hello. Oh, this is precious. I feel like a baby. I kind of, I kind of like it. I feel like if we got this table up a little higher and these chairs a little lower, this could be real soup. I'm going to tuck this into my,

that's my bag and them and eat soup. It's going to be great. How about whoever's telling their story has to sit on the table. That's a good idea. Right? Yeah. Okay. And the other person leans way back. Someone is getting stabbed in the audience. Yeah. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. Oh, by the way, welcome. This is the podcast. My favorite murder. Thanks. This is Karen Kielguera. This is Georgia Hartstark. Yeah. We usually do a gag about Stephen being under the tablecloth. Can't do the Stephen bit. It doesn't work. Not going to work. He's at my house. I hope he's at my house. I haven't gotten one cat photo yet today. No, he's definitely dead. There's no way he's not.

Yeah. I just realized I might not have left him any keys. Can you check on that please? Here's the thing. If that is what happened, he is scaling the side of that apartment building. He will not let those cats, he won't let a thing happen to those cats. No. In fact, he brought home somehow t-shirts for them last weekend. Like that's internet gold. He's like, I'm getting followers tonight. Yeah. No, he's, he absolutely lives entirely on social media. I actually don't know if he's real. He might be. We actually never met him in person. Yeah. He just downloads himself to when we take. Hologram? What if we just like paid so much money to get a Stephen hologram at

all our live shows and he was like, I'll just come with you guys for free. No, no, no. We're getting a $25,000 hologram instead. Sorry, you're getting a pay cut because it costs a lot of money. Sorry. It's just, it's what we need for the spectacle for the show of the show. It's what's best for the show and they bring real Elvis to sit with them. Stephen simply can't get a break. Listen, we need tiny stools and we need tiny bottles of water and we won't have it anyway else. That's, you've gotten real bossy at live shows, right? Divas Las Vegas. It's happening up here. I love that they gave us a rug that's in kind of some nice autumnal tones. It's gorgeous. It's really nice Sacramento. Really nice. This is a true crime comedy podcast. Yes. What that means

is this is a true crime comedy podcast. Right. And so oftentimes at live shows, people will bring other people who don't listen and are not interested in this podcast to the podcast live show. It happens a lot. Many of you are very codependent. You simply won't, you won't leave other people alone. Yeah. And so you drag people. We call them drag alongs. They're here against their will. We got it. We've been dragged along to shit. Shit. Yeah. That's how you make love work. Here's the thing. I've been to so many wrestling shows, you guys. But I don't mind because there's good snacks. That's how it works. And I've eaten so many Pringles. What? That's not the same or a relationship. Anyway, the combination sometimes

of true crime and comedy is uncomfortable for people because they might assume not knowing us, not listening, not being best friends with us the way you guys are. Right. You guys, you guys give us the benefit of the doubt. You know us. You know our intentions, hopefully. So sometimes the combination of true crime and comedy makes people uncomfortable because they think, oh no, they think it's funny that people get more. They think it's funny that people are victimized. That's not the case at all. It's a very complex combination. It's the people, it's our interests, it's our passion, but then it's also the way we talk to each other and deal with life by making fun of it. Life is crazy and dumb and insane and you have to make jokes.

It's important. So if you are in that situation and that makes you uncomfortable, we just, the two of us just want to say, get the fuck out right now. It's important. Truly. Truly. We hope you don't. I would rather you fall asleep if you're really bored, but don't. But if you're like angry, then you know. We don't need it. Yeah. We already have the girl yelling demands and it's the first five minutes of the show. You're not wearing a watch, but you've just pointed at it. See, that's comedy. It's, I have a sub-dural watch. Like a sub-dural hematoma, but it's a watch. Watch Bruce. Looking for a better cooking routine? With meal planning, shopping, and prepping handled,

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which is hard to do on my own. It gives you everything, everything you need. So get up to 20 free meals with purchase plus free shipping on your first box at hellofresh.ca slash murder20 with code murder20. That's up to 20 free meals plus free shipping on your first box when you go to hellofresh.ca slash murder20 and use code murder20. Goodbye. Hey, I'm Arisha and I'm Brooke and we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Rich, where we bring you absolutely true and absolutely shocking stories about the most famous families and biggest celebrities the world has ever seen. Our newest series is all about the incomparable diva Whitney Houston. Whitney's voice defined a generation and even after her death, her talent remains unmatched, but her

incredible success hit a deeply private pain. In our series, Whitney Houston Destiny of a Diva will tell you how she hid her true self to make everyone around her happy and how the pressure to be all things to all people led her down a dark path. Follow Even the Rich wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. I forgot to check who goes first tonight. Did you? It's me. Okay, great. Okay. Um, tiny bottle. This water expired in 1997. So did I. Yes, fiery. I love it. Fire. All spiced tonight. Guys, I'm gonna tonight talk to you about the assassination attempt of President Gerald Ford by the coward Lynette squeaky from, right? Good one. As we all know, Sacramento and the greater

Northern Central Valley has some fucking bum out murders. I mean, great job. People are competing to have it be bad up here. It's like, it's really your culture intense. Everything involves knives where you're just like, can you put that knife down for a fucking second and just control people's mind with your weird eyes? Everything's tough. So even since I was like a list of murders to choose from and I was reading and it was like a two line thing, I was just getting bummer and bummer. It was just like, Oh man. No, this on the other hand, although it has a touch of violence, as we like, it's truly I knew that it happened very distantly. Yeah, but I never knew the details of the story. That squeaky man, she fucking was crazy as shit, as we say. What it is is,

like me and the Pringles can man, she devoted herself to the man that she believed was going to save the world. Very similar personalities. What if you look closely tonight and the Pringles can guy has swastika carved into his I'm just saying what if it's fun to imagine funny, weird things. Most of the information I got from this was from or is from and the pictures, a website called C. L. O. Drive, which is completely dedicated to the Sharon Tate and the lobby uncle murders. And there's tons of pictures. It's a really, really good, very thorough website where every member of the Manson family has their own individual page. It's I appreciate it for them doing my homework for me. And of course, God's own Wikipedia. I mean, how do we live?

How did we live before without Wikipedia? No idea. No idea. Lynette Alice squeaky from was born in Santa Monica on October 22nd, 1948 to an aeronautical engineer of a father. That aeronautical engineer of a father of yours. God damn aeronautical engineer and a homemaker mom. She was the oldest of three. But they grow up. She's born in Santa Monica. What's happening? What to do with my arms and go up high to do this. You could stack them on top of some water bottles like I'm going to do that. Perfect. That's good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. What's best for D by contact? Only D by contact. What if we both got under the table? In what we call the Steven position. Okay. Now they grew up in a area called Westchester.

I don't know if you're familiar with that in California. And by all accounts, Lynette is happy, healthy and a talented child. This is very interesting. When she was 11, she auditions for and makes it into a very exclusive touring children's dance troupe called the Westchester Lariat. Oh my God. Really mad because one of the websites I found this on, they posted this picture and I was like, holy shit, we got a picture of squeaky from in the Westchester Lariat. But then I realized that they had just pulled a random picture of six girls dancing and they were like, there you go. There's some larriots for it. Like she's not like you got how it works. She's dancing. Children. They picked their feet up and put them back down. It's called dancing.

That sounds intense. Yeah. But she made it. And the group traveled throughout the US and Europe. They did show, they'd been around for like 10 years. They did shows at the White House. They did shows at the Hollywood Bowl. They did shows on Lawrence Welk. Oh, okay. I was like, where's that? That's a TV show on Lawrence. I thought you were going to say it on this very stage. On this whole. Could you imagine? I bet they did. Guys, we're going to the Capitol. Shine up your tap shoes. We got to put on our very best for Sacramento. That's how they talk in Westchester. In junior high, she's very popular. She has lots of friends. Sure. Including a classmate she met in drama class, a young Phil Hartman. No.

No fucking joke unless Wikipedia is lying to me, which is, of course, 80% possible. That's a weird bit of trivia. Squeaky from and Phil Hartman were buddies in junior high. I want to see that sketch, that SNL sketch. You know. That's what? What? Exactly. Okay. It's kind of like we're doing this in a canyon up here. There's what's that you say? Oh, hello. Okay. In eighth grade, Lynette is given the year books of Peralative Personality Plus. Oh my God. Personality Plus. Plus drugs. Okay. So I believe. Let's see. There she is. She's so cute and normal looking. Just a young innocent gal. I had that hair. No joke. It's good hair.

I did that 18, 19 or so. A nice high bob. Hard bob. Up here. Oh yeah. Like a little mod bob. Sure. Did you ever just stick a bow to the top of your head with tape? Because that's what personality plus like to do for school pictures. I only had personality. Nothing. Minus. The plus is the bow. The plus is the bow. Okay. Yeah. Let's make. That's not real. I actually had some history about the Westchester. I lost my place because I was just like, I don't want to talk about the Westchester Larry. It's anymore. Okay. Four years later, that was junior high. Four years later, she's in high school, blowing it. She's totally on drugs. She's flunking out of every class.

No personality. No plus. She's suckin it. Been there. Done that. Right. So didn't join a cult though. Right. Fucking God. Good. Yeah. You just raved. Raved hard. Yeah. I guess that, yeah. It's kind of a cult. It's a cult in itself, but you, you got to be in charge. Yeah. Yeah. Grinding, grinding all your teeth down the powder. Sweating, sweating, sweating. Okay. I may have told the story on the podcast before, but that just reminded me of one of my oldest friends, Dave Messmer is also here tonight. Oh, is he the singing in your face guy? What's up? Is he the singing in your face guy? Yes. Oh shit. Dave Messmer. This was at a 18

street Hillcats party that we were at. My friend Dave Eskandari was there. Dave Messmer. We're all shout yourself out. We're all there. Alicia, my friend, Alicia Gonzalez, and just all around. I'm just going to name names of people. Every single one in the, yeah. But we were all quite high on what we called marijuana and somebody put on that fucking delight CD and it turned out that Dave knew every single word to grooves in the heart and every other song on the album. Dave, you and I, later tonight, we're going to have it sing off. You're going to party. We're just going to sing in each other's faces. And here's the thing, singing in people's faces is, is okay. Okay. When you're high and someone's lip syncing in your face. So I could hear his kind of like

high lips sticking together and it's like cookies in the room, dry mouth and shit. And I kept going, please. I was really high. Please, Dave, please stop it. I'm begging you. Angry face, please. I can't. I can't. My face can't get any paler. I hate this. And he, here's why I love him and here's why he's one of my best friends in the world. He would not stop. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He wanted to have his own good time. Okay. Lynette's dad is a super strict bastard and so she barely graduates from high school and he's like, you have to go to El Camino college and she's like, okay. And then of course sucks it at El Camino college because if you can't cut it in high school, there's no way. Let me tell you

from first hand experience, right? It doesn't get easier. No, it doesn't get better. You get up in those grades. When you, when you get more independence and you're around beer and drugs more, you don't get better at school. It's true. High school is a good indicator of how you're going to do in college. That's right. Guess how I did in college. Terribly. I'm afraid that the Sac State people are going to come and find me tonight. Just be like, you know what? You didn't have to do much and you still didn't do it. Did you? Taken up a dorm room. So Lynette's dad kicks her out of the house and she becomes homeless. So she does what all depressed and lost people do. She goes and hangs out at Venice Beach. It's just, it's a garbage heap. Truly. Unless you're a

weight lifter and then I think it's really great. It's like very freeing and all your people are there. Or if you're looking for drugs, lots of drugs. Yes. It's a great, it's a great beautiful tourist place for drug addicts. Yeah. That's great. So in Venice Beach, she meets a charismatic young rambler by the name of Charles Marie Manson. He had just gotten out of the federal penitentiary. Charles Marie. Yeah, I made that up. I made it up. It's my fucking show. How did you do that so casually? I'm in Sacramento. That's a low, this is a low chair to kick off of. Yeah, it doesn't really work. Yeah, it's not. Kick it. Charles Marie Manson. So it's Charles Marie. Can someone who has a Wikipedia pass please change his middle name on the Wikipedia to Marie

and let's, I'll start that rumor. How funny would that be? That becomes a fact. It'll be that thing of like, you know, John Wayne's real name was Priscilla. Like back in the day, there were like some names you're like, is that a girl name? No, I'm worried about masculinity. Well, now. God forbid. When women are men and men are women. What's gonna happen? That's not my America. Cut out. Okay. Charlie's just gotten out of the pen, and he has lots to share with anyone who'll listen. And of course, Lynette is right there, wide eyed and probably on acid. So it all sounded fucking great to her. She's like, say it again, Charlie, the part about how the coming race wars will end the world and we should all be in a cave and then play a song on the guitar. That's not awful at all.

So he jabbers away at her. They become fast friends. The whole time she's staring at him, going personality plus. The plus is the fucking insane look in his eye. Yeah, that's the plus. The plus is malignant narcissism. Plus. Okay. So she's a devotee kind of like right off the bat. And in 1967, she settles in with him and the rest of the Manson family at the Spawn Ranch. This is like a weird picture. You know, there's lots of Spawn Ranch pictures that you see where they're all like crouched in a cave. Yeah. Like just blazing on LSD or whatever. But I'm fucking baby out of the Manson family. Please. They had a couple Manson babies. Jesus. There she is right there, right? That's her over here. Look at her. I'm looking at her. Back to her. Look at it.

Tell me what she's wearing. She's a cutie. I don't know. There's like a belt around her head or something. Oh, wait a second. This is when she was in the Pirates of Penzance. Shit. Shit. Well, they look like they're having a great time. I gotta check those photos. So that's her loving life in the Manson family. The side of it, they don't want you to know about. All right. I thought it was kind of fun sometimes. Guys, we laughed. All right. She gets the nickname Squeaky because the grandson of the ranch owner who is also a Manson family member says that that's the sound she would make every time he touched her. Did you know about that etymology? No. That's making me uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. How does that work? Oh, or she's like,

I'm not squeaking. It's only when she's starting to come down off the LSD and realize where she is and she starts going, I was squeaky. I just want to go back to junior high. No, it's sad. Yeah. So as we all know, in October of 1969, Charles Manson got four of his followers to their two nights of multiple murders, horrifying murders. The first night was at Sharon Tate's C. L. O. Drive home. And the second night was at the home of Leo and Rosemary Labianca. And they were all arrested in October, sorry, October of 1969 is when they were arrested. And then the remaining Manson family members, they camp outside of the jail where the Manson family is being held. So here's some of the Manson ladies and they were there to talk about how Charlie's innocent.

They were trying to say he was innocent. This wasn't his thing because he wasn't actually at the murders, as we know, but they were all there to talk about how awesome Charlie was. Then sweeties, go home. It didn't, it didn't work. Yeah. So then, right, everyone's like, their knee, get up on the street, there's gum down there, whatever. So then they, they decide they're going to shake their heads. What's that going to do? Just like freak out the man. Yeah. Yeah. They freaked out the man. When ladies become men and men become ladies. Oh, he'll break loose. Make sure you vote. Okay. Vogue. Make sure you vote.

Dietrich and DiMaggio. So listen, here's what I kind of love about Lynette Squeaky from, she didn't shave her head. She's like, I have a really good hair. Yeah. That's the plus is the red hair. Yes. I honestly think she was one of those kind of people who was like, you know what we should do? Oh yeah. Shave our heads and then everyone else says, she's like, go sit on the sidewalk. This is perfect. Meanwhile, she's like, well, I'm not going to do it, but there's a reason. I have to watch you guys because the man's coming. Yeah. Yeah. But I'll be, but I'll be, you guys look great with shaved heads, by the way. It looks amazing. People are losing their minds. Even with all

that loving support, Charles Manson and the four other family members are found guilty of murder and given the death penalty, which is eventually committed to life in prison as we know, we know it. This is the baseline crime. It's the reason we know who Lynette Squeaky from is. Right. That's how weak she came into the world in a very disturbing way. If you weren't a fan of the Westchester Lariat, this is the way. I know her from the Westchester Lariat. Right. Because you're so cowgirl, just like her. Yeah. She was great at the Lariat. She danced with her heart and soul. I have to say, I did pull about four different pictures of Lawrence Welk just to give an example. There wasn't a picture of her on it. It was just like, I love Lawrence Welk. So I just started

pulling pictures of two lady singers dressed like astronauts. I was like, this is genius. That's for you later with the Pringles. It's for you just to look through the slide show and cry. Me and the guy. Look at this. Isn't this hilarious? Pringles guy. Stephen's like, sorry, where do I put this? It's a picture of a guy playing the clarinet. I'm like, you can take it out. Forget it. So Lynette Squeaky from has never charged for any of those crimes, but in April of 1971, she served 90 days in jail for attempting to feed a hamburger laced with LSD to Barbara Hoyt, who was a witness to the tape murder. How do you think, how many bites of that did Barbara take? Zero, probably. Zero bites. She's like, sorry, crazy. I'm not going to eat your

fucking char-boiled weird hamburger. There's some, she's like, I'm at the pet store. I don't feel like a hamburger wimpy. Thank you. It's not my thing. What the fuck? Yeah. So they end up, because of that, she's 90 days in jail, and she also refused to testify against or say anything at all to the cops about the Manson murder. So they basically kept her in jail for 90 days. Then when Charles Manson is moved to Folsom State Prison, Squeaky, right? One of the great, one of the great jails of the state. We've got some escapees here. Squeaky and another Manson sister, Sandra Good. What do you call her? Gal. A Manson gal. A Manson gal. They moved to a shitty apartment at 1725 P Street in downtown

Sacramento. Do you guys live there? Everybody knows what P Street's like. It's some serious shit. They moved to Sacramento to be closer to Charles Manson at Folsom Prison. It's not a good plan. Yeah. No. No. But she doesn't stay there for long because in 1972, Squeaky moves to Stockton, right? Because she's like, Sacramento, it's too cultured. It's too refined. I can't do it anymore. I can't, it's like being in fucking Paris, France. I can't do it anymore with the fashion and the demands. Sure. I have to go to Stockton and just, just take in that water, that gorgeous water. Wait a second. Sorry. I'm, this is taking too long. But I just remember this is one of my horror, base, horror, like why I have so many shame issues. Oh, oh, we're going to work it out.

We were at a speech meet in Stockton one time. It was like the all state speech meet or whatever. The laureates, the speech laureates. Yes. Right. We all had to audition for speech. No. And we were staying at this hotel in Stockton. It was really new. It was humongous. It's where everybody that was in the speech meet was staying. All these schools from all over every, all over Northern California. My friend Holly, we're leaving. It's the day we're leaving. So all of these high school kids that have just competed in the speech meet are all filling up this entire huge hotel lobbies like a Sheridan say or something. And in the center of the lobby are like two flights of stairs, like, like a weird 10 coconut cream pies from Sesame Street thing where it was like,

it was easily 50 stairs going down to the lobby. Yeah. So we're at the top of these stairs. My friend Holly hands me her super bizarre and lame Samsonite like luggage from the 60s. She goes, can you take that down for me? I have to go get something. I'm like, okay. And I have my bag and her bag. And I start walking down the stairs, like the queen of Spain. And I was kind of like, Hey, everybody, it's me from the humorous interpretation speech. And halfway down her stupid suitcase busts open. And I'm not kidding. Like 300 tampons rolled out. I'm not kidding. It was as if she, it was like she took a small tampon suitcase to the speech meet with her. No, but no one knew it was her suitcase. It looked like it was my fucking suitcase.

Oh, I want to cry for you, Argentina. All of them. It was like this, but it was like a pig. And tampons. Do you know how hard it is to pick up tampons off of stairs? I would have like that squatting and like, ma'am, do you need help with your tampons? Well, so it's high school. Not one person came to help me, not one. They were all just like, Oh my God, you use tampons? Why do you use all those tampons? Do you use all of those? It was, I hated her so much. Yeah, yeah. No, fuck her. In that moment, I was like, this is... Let's bring her out. Holy, get out of here. And everyone, if you go under your seat, there's a tampon. We're going to throw them at her at the count of three. So she fucking knows what

it's like. That's so sad. Like that makes me sad. I'm sorry. It's why I am the way I am. It makes sense because whenever I ask you if you have a tampon, you scream at me and start crying and run away. And I've always been like, why did she do that? It's so weird. I'm sorry. Please don't take that personally. I thought it was just me. No, it's Stockton. It's fucking Stockton. I've had my heart broken all over this goddamn flood plain. Okay. Okay. Let's fucking get into this shit. Okay. Squeaky's in Stockton. She moves in with some Manson members. And she also, there's a couple Aryan Brotherhood members in there too, of course. Let's throw those assholes in for fun. Right? Mix them in. So in September of 1972,

they all meet up with a couple named Laura and James Willett at a cabin in Gurnville, which is actually closer to where I grew up. Right? Up by, oh, so we got some river people here tonight. Good. Nice. So, I can't find the names. James, you know what I did? I fucking took out the Aryan Brotherhood names because I was like, fuck them. I'm not naming their names. But, but then I started the next sentence with the guy's first name. So James was shot and killed. And they made him dig his own grave. And then the second guy, seriously? Yes. In Gurnville. Yeah. Okay. So, so here's the reason I tell you all this horrible shit is, so these two Aryan Brotherhood guys were going to snitch on the Manson people about robberies that they had been doing. So,

they all found out, took them up to Gurnville. Boom, boom. Shit. So, the cops tracked them all down to this house they live in in Stockton. And they burst, they bust in, they arrest everybody. But Squeaky isn't there, of course, because she never gets caught for anything. She was, basically Charlie put her in charge of keeping all the Manson family in touch with each other while they were all in jail. So, she would go around and just visit all the Manson members in jail and tell them what was going on. The house mother for the Manson family. Yeah. Shit. She was like a human phone tree. So, she was visiting a Manson member named William Gosher, who was in jail for robbery. And so, when she gets out of the jail from visiting him,

she goes to a pay phone and calls the Stockton house. Cop Sanser, who have just raided the house. And she's like, hey, can I get a ride? I'm at the prison. They're like, yep, we'll be right there. They fucking go pick her up, take her to the station. Yep. That's hilarious. They arrest her with the others, but then she says, no, I was not in Gurnville. I was traveling all around California, bringing the Mansons together. Beautiful. They hold her for two and a half months, but they have no evidence, they can't charge her. So, the other four people from the Stockton house are convicted of those murders. Squeaky walks free. She's a golden girl. So, she is like, that's enough of Stockton for me. I gotta go back to fucking P Street or wherever the hell it was.

And she moves back in. And then she and, what's her name? Her roommate, who was also a Manson person, they start wearing robes all the time. Super chill. Really? This is gonna be next to her. This is what we wear. And we just pointed everything. This would just point the shit. What's this over here? What's that? A murder. That would work for me so well. I would love it, can't see the shoes. See, I was looking at that and it's like a robe. If they, if that ended at the knee, it would look like a little red riding hood. It would be so cute, but it goes all the way to the ground. And that's Satan. That's Satan's work. Yeah. That's Satan's robe. Okay. They decide they're gonna change their names to the nicknames Manson used to call them. So, Squeaky changes

her nickname from her horrible nickname to red because Manson, yeah, right? He called her red because of her hair and her love of the redwoods. Fucking hippies. And no, no, no. Sarah, he called blue because of her eyes and the ocean. He's not very clever. I mean, look, you can say what you want about Charles Murray Manson, but he has a way with words. He is a dirty poet. He's like a little nuts out poet. Okay. And now just moving on for some fun. Oh, that's, that's her robe in color. See how from like shoulders up, it's like, that's kind of cute. Is she like a sexy fairytale girl? No. No, she's crazy. Let's see what's here. Okay. So in 1975, Squeaky red from reaches out to Jimmy Page's, the VP of his record label and says, I have foreseen something for Jimmy Page and

I must speak with him. That works. Right? This is the 70s when you just call record labels and just be like, I need to speak to Jimmy Page, please. And they were like, the vice president of the record label is a guy named Danny Goldberg. And he was like, no, I think she actually went there. I can't figure it out. But basically, he said, she said that she had foreseen a vision where bad energy was going to get Jimmy Page. And so she needed to talk to him. And so Danny Goldberg from the record label was like, maybe you can talk to him tomorrow, but you should probably leave. And then she was like, tomorrow it'll be too late. And so he says, why leave a note? And thanks so much for dropping by. And then the second she leaves, he burns the note. That's how creepy she was. Yes.

Cool. That's just a little, I was just giving you a little color about the kind of crazy shit Squeaky was up to. So now we get to the task at hand when she's 26 years old. She learned that President Gerald Ford, he's just asked Congress. Remember him? He, nope. I remember in like second grade, they made us write letters to him. And I didn't know what to say. So I said, I wish you were my uncle. He's got an uncle face. He's, he's very take a quarter out of your ear. He's a vuncular. The man is a vuncular. A vuncular uncle. A vuncular uncle. Yes. A vuncular. We did it. We're workshopping it. President Gerald Ford decided in 19, around this 73, 74, 75. But he wants to start relaxing some of the provisions on that old

bothersome 1963 clean air act. Yeah. So you might remember that Squeaky loves the redwoods and nature in general. And she's livid. And she's very concerned about the environment. And so she's watching the news in her P Street apartment and she sees that the President's going to be in Sacramento to speak at the Sacramento Convention Center for a bunch of wealthy California business leaders. Yes. What a great place. All the good stuff happens there. All the walls and the doors. And it's kind of rounded at the top. Total guess. I've never been there. So he's staying at the Senator Hotel on L Street and it's like a 15 minute walk from Squeaky's P Street apartment. Perfect. So she decides she's going to bring attention to the trees. This is what she later

said by putting fear into the government by killing its symbol, President Gerald Ford. Jesus. What a fucking psycho. It's not a good plan. It's straight up crazy. It's crazed. Also, trees are great. Yes, for sure. Absolutely. People are good too. Yeah. I bet you anything, if trees could talk, they would be like, we're not down with killing people. I think they would. I agree. Yes. I think they're like old hippies. Totally. And they're like, be cool, man. Yeah, absolutely. We have to wrap this up. Okay. So, okay. So in the morning of September 5th, Squeaky throws on her old red robe and she grabs a.45 caliber Colt M1911, or 1911, I don't know, semi-automatic revolver. She

straps that motherfucker to her left leg underneath the red robe, like a psychotic little red riding hood, and she heads on down to the Capitol grounds. And I'm sure the FBI security people are like, that one. Just keep your eye on her. Yeah. We don't know. She could have muffins. We don't know. She could be from a musical that's playing over at the music circus. We don't know. That's right. Insider info. Okay. Now, it does seem super insane, but actually, she wasn't the only person who thought of this. A month prior, an ex-con named Thomas Albert was arrested for calling the Secret Service and threatening to kill Gerald Ford when he visited Sacramento. He called the Secret Service directly. Yeah. Hey, I'm going to kill this dude. Just drive

yourself down to jail and say it as you're walking into a cell. I was, I'm mad about stuff. Over here, is this one good? Okay. So it's 10.02 AM and it's 84 degrees in September down in September. The fucking kind of Sacramento bullshit I'm talking about. Thank you. They know, thank you. They know, thank you. So President Ford is walking from his hotel through Capitol Park to the entrance of the Capitol building to meet with then and now Governor Jerry Brown. Oh shit. Yeah. Jerry Brown is absolutely a Highlander. Totally. He shall never die. Okay. So as, as the president passes through the park, he stops and he's shaking hands with randos that are walking up and being like, because it's the 70s, people like, Hey, I don't like what

you're doing. And he's like, great to meet you. A lot of that. People being like, Oh my God, Chevy Chase is so funny. Aren't started live as you. It's great to meet you. It's funny when you fall down. And actually later, President Ford said he saw squeaky from step out into the pathway. So they're like 150 feet up the pathway in Capitol Park. And he sees a woman in a red fucking robe cape step into the pathway. And he figures she's just there to say hi, like everybody else. She walks up in her weird eyes wide shut robe and go, she's like second row. So there's like what first row of people shaking hands with him. And she's in the next row. And she pulls out, she reaches down to her leg holster and pulls out her Colt 45. We'll call it. You can't remember

Colt 1911. And actually, the president said he remembers seeing a hand come through the people in the first row and quote, and that's the first active gesture I saw. But in the hand, there was a gun. In the hand, there was a gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why no one liked you as the president. You are old McDonald's. Okay. So what squeaky doesn't know because she doesn't know that much about guns and neither do I when I pretend like I do is that the ammunition in the Colt 45 is stored in a detachable magazine, the pistols grip. That didn't seem believable at all. But squeaky's gun, there was no round in the chamber because you have to put it in manually. Oh, like a chitchat, I guess. I get that. I see it. Or maybe a gun stuff.

So a bunch of people in the front row that are like, look, it's the president. And then they hear the click of a fucking gun not go off right by them. Yeah. And because there's press all around because it's the president of the United States, she turns to a camera and goes, it didn't go off. And they all start taking her picture. Oh my God. Oh, wait, that's when they arrested her. There it is. She looks like a lunatic smurf. Doesn't she? Yeah. I didn't realize that the robes were sleeveless. Yeah. For summer. I mean, truly. For September summer. She looks like Papa Smurf in her sleeping cap.

Oh, God. It didn't go off. She waited until all the cameras got really close. Should I kill him now? Okay, I'll just try to kill him now. Wow. Newsweek was right there to get the story. Okay. So of course, everybody knows what's happening. Secret Service agent Larry Buendorf grabs the gun, forces out of her hand, brings her to the ground. Once they're down there, she says, it didn't go off. Can you believe it? It didn't go off. I wonder if I can go back because it's, you can. It's the red one. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Let's just see this. Because this is them arresting her. They're, she looks so bummed. She's just like, now that I think about it, this was not a good plan. But I mean, there's just,

there's Secret Service everywhere. There's cops everywhere. So, oh yeah, that's when they made her take her robe off and jail. So here's kind of the best thing. When this happens, of course, the Secret Service doing the job that they have to do, grab President Ford and start pulling him away in the other direction from her and trying to pull him into the Capitol building to like take cover. And he starts yelling angrily in protest at them, put me down, put me down. And then he walks by himself like a big boy into the state house. And at 1006 a.m., he kicks off his meeting with Governor Jerry Brown. Damn. Four minutes, four minutes went by for that entire thing to happen. And he's like, great, moving on. He's like, yeah, can't, can't do it. Wow. He talked to Jerry Brown

for half an hour. And then when they were done with business, he goes, oh, someone just tried to assassinate me after all of it. What the fuck? Yes. And he later, he later told the press, he was not scared. And he said, quote, I thought I'd better get on with my day's schedule. Wow. I would have been like, oh, great, I get to have a free day off. Yes. I'm like, oh, I guess I can't do anything today. Guess it's straight back to the hotel and right into the Scotch. That's right. Let's do it. They got massages in the 70s. Great. I'll take one. Send her up. That's right. So three days before the trial begins, President Ford actually testifies on videotape from the White House. It's the first time a US president, I guess they didn't say sitting. I wanted to say

sitting. That could be incorrect. But it's the first time a US president testifies at a criminal trial ever. Oh, wow. Of course, our girl refuses to cooperate with her own defense team. Jesus. Girl, her own defense team. She's constantly fighting the man no matter who that person is. So she's, of course, convicted for attempting to assassinate the president and she gets a life sentence. The prosecuting attorney, Dwayne Keys, recommends severe punishment because she was quote, full of hate and violence. And so she does what any of us would do in that situation. She throws an apple at his head and knocks his glasses off. Girl, you are not doing yourself any favors. Old red squeaky from didn't give a fuck. Girls got aim though. But I wrote this down.

Remember the old trick? That's now you have, now you know the correct way to pronounce the famous mountain chain. If you're a process greeting attorney, squeaky from will throw an Appalachia. Oh, that's hyper. An Appalachia. I didn't know that. Yeah. Great. I've already forgot it. It'll come up again. As she was handcuffed and taken from the courtroom, she says to the press, I came to get life, not just my life, but clean air, healthy water, and respect for creatures and creation. Except humans. Except for a bunch of people that came before. And also, we don't need a quote from you, Squeaks. We're good. In 1979, she's transferred out of a Federal Correctional Facility in Dublin, California for attacking a fellow inmate with the claw end of

a hammer. How did she get that in jail? Let's not pass out hammers in jail. They tried it one year. We're going to do what working, you guys, but this really is, we're going to trust you as a trust system. Yeah. Lynette. Put it down, Lynette. So she gets transferred to Federal Prison Camp, Camp Alderson in West Virginia, home of what mountain range? Appalachia. That's right, Georgia. I forgot. I already forgot it. Five years later, 1980, Squeaky from tells the Sacramento Bee that she purposely ejected the top round from her Pistols magazine onto the floor of her shitty P Street apartment because she, quote, was not determined to kill the guy. It turns out the police actually did find a round of ammo on her bathroom floor. So in December of 1987,

Squeaky from escapes from Camp Alderson because she hears that Charlie Manson has testicular cancer and she's like, I must go to him. What was the plan there? She's in jail and he's in fucking jail. Yeah. She's going to escape one jail, break into another one, and then swim out to San Quentin. Like, what are you doing? She's caught two days later, and then she's sent to a federal medical center in Fort Worth, Texas. And the Robes sisters, Lynette, and the other one who's, I've said a different name every time I've talked about her roommate, and I apologize. They, they're the only two Manson family members who end up remaining devoted to Charles Manson always. Everybody else renounced him and actually Squeaky from

corresponded with him from jail to jail while all the whole time they were in jail. I guess that's what you do in jail. She told an Associated Press reporter, the curtain's going to come down on all of us and if we don't turn everything over to Charlie immediately, it'll be too late. It's already too late, honey. Yeah. I just want to know what she means. I don't want to know if she knows what she means or if there's just so much acid in her system. Oh, she also said he's got more heart and spirit than anyone I've ever met. And I put my gum in this. He has everything he wants coming from me because he gave me everything. And then she called him a once-in-a-lifetime soul. Thank God.

Don't need more of those fucking broken, smelly, pockmarked souls. Labyrinth, weird, you know, gesticulating. Squeaky Farm was released on parole on August 14, 2009 at the age of 60. And she moved to Marcy, New York, where according to Raider Online, she's shaking up with a felon. I found this article on Raider Online. I'm like, you're fucking gossiping about this 60-year-old woman. She has to live with somebody. Get all the hot murder hippie goss right here at Raider Online. So in 2010, CBS published photos of Squeaky Farm shopping at a Walmart in that town. And she had her long gray hair tied in a braid. And the picture is actually of her punching the camera. So punk rock forever. And that is the insane story of Lynette

Squeaky Farm assassinating the president. Great job. Whoa. This is my new headshot. I love this picture so much. I love it so much. Good. She's crazy. She wasn't doing it on purpose, but it's the coolest. It's just like, oh my god, I'm getting so many calls, you guys. I don't even know what to do. Okay, let's do this, everyone. I am doing the Lodi Haystack murder for all you Lodi heads out there. All you crazy Lodi kids. And you're crazy. Here we go. Good job. Oh, thanks. On the night of September 12th, 1923. Shit. That's where we're at. Yeah. Old timey. All the way back. A few miles outside of Lodi, a 16-year-old kid notices a haystack on fire on a farm, like a stack of hay. Yeah, a haystack. I get you. You know. He and some other witnesses gather around and realize it's

not just a haystack that's on fire. It's a car that's been pushed into the haystack. They all got caught on fire. And then they realize that the car is on fire and there's a person in the fucking car. And they looked like they were bound and propped up. And they couldn't get close enough to the car. The fucking, their horror, they watch as the car burns. So witnesses also see a car driving away rapidly from the scene in the direction of Sacramento. After the fire is out, they find like letters and shit around. And then there's these keys in this guy's pocket. And they identify the man as Alexander Kells. He's a 42-year-old local butcher and cattleman in one of the town's leading citizens. And they're like, oh shit, what's going on? Kells was the owner of

the Pacific Meat Market and the Toke Meat Market. He was a German born in Cologne in October of 1884, blah, blah, blah. Basically, they immigrate to Lodi at some point. Doesn't matter. It's a classic American story. Yeah. He eventually finishes grammar school and goes right into the trade of being a butcher immediately. He started training when he was eight. Yeah, essentially. He gets a job. It doesn't matter. He's a butcher. It's fine. Tell me about his life. What were his passions? He's in Lodi. He's a butcher. Everyone knows him. They love him. He's a pillar of the community. He's seen as a husband and father. He seems like this ideal husband and father. He got all that meat. Yeah. He needs his family, et cetera.

Iron, strong blood. The thing they don't tell you about being a butcher's family, and I know this because my grandfather was a butcher. So my mom would say that we got all the weird fucking cuts of meat that no one wanted to eat. Oh, no. So the truth is you're eating fucking turkey necks for days. He's still like, who wants roasted ear? Yeah. So when I was a kid, I ate tongue sandwiches and I ate the heart and liver and shit. Like we just, you get a taste. Also Jewish people. We love that weird shit. Yeah. It's up. Sacramento juice. Sacramento juice. Yes. No. Some of you are faking it. There's not that many. You can't accuse people of being fake Jews. That's political climate. So he feeds his family organ meat. Everyone's happy. They love him.

So everyone is devastated. The whole town is like, fuck, when he dies in this horrible way, and they're like, we need to find a killer. This is insane. Over 3,000 towns people were at his funeral. And I'm sure they had a lovely spread. It's fine. Oh, the sausages. It was the largest funeral the county had ever seen. And everyone was grieving and sympathetic with his family. It was like a town martyr. They were like so angry that this had happened to him. And it was believed that he had been killed by robbers because he was known to carry large amounts of money on the days he'd go collect his money. I don't know. What do they call it? You owe me this and you owe me this. Money collecting. Thank you. Can I just say my early

theory? Yes. A bunch of the cows got together and were like, we've had it. You're not doing this to us anymore. Sorry, sorry, sorry. How did you know? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So in the meantime, though, so the police are like, we're going to get this guy who did it. And in the meantime, though, his life insurance, he's insured for $80,000 in today's money. Six billion? No. 1.1 million. Mill or bill? A mill. Okay. So his wife's the beneficiary and the insurance company is like, that's a lot of money. We're going to do our own investigation as well. Especially since he had a clause in his policy that increased the amount to 100,000, which is almost 1.5 million today if he died violently. Which is like, do you want to bet on that? I wouldn't. That's not a good

clause. I feel like they probably took that out since then, right? Yeah, I would hope so. And it's like, it's like a really bad like card game that you win if it's like, everything's awful. So they, at the autopsy, one of the ways that they were like, we can, there's something fishy here literally is because they knew for a fact that Alexander Kells had eaten sardines for lunch. Gross. And there was no sardines in the stomach of the burnt corpse. So they're like, this is weird, but I don't know. That seems fishy. I did not mean to do that. She loves it. She loves a pun. It works. They also discovered that the dental work of this guy doesn't match up with the charred remains that were in the car. And they're like, something ain't right here. So soon this, the

sheriff from Stockton releases a description of the butcher and a couple weeks after his supposed death in Reno, some dudes like, Reno, Reno. Some guy from Lodi recognizes his longtime friend, Alexander Kells in Reno. And I'm sure Alexander was like, no, it's not me. I've known you since you were six. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So they're like, oh, shit. This dude faked his death. Obviously. So on October 2nd, police arrest a guy matching the description of him in Eureka. And it's his 39th birthday the day they arrest him. And they found him in a boxcar at the railroad yards with a rifle in his mouth trying to pull the trigger with his toes. And that gun jams and they stop him. And they're like, we know who you are. And he's like,

I had amnesia. They're like, no. And he's like, someone made me do it. And they're like, no. And he's like, okay, just don't tell my wife, but I faked my own death because I was in a lot of debt and I wanted her to get the money. But I'm just going to leave. So she didn't even know about it. Yeah. Basically. Because I had her completely pinned for this murder. Her? Yeah, I wanted her to go down hard for it. I wanted her to experience a violent death. Yeah. He figured she would get over the shock of his fake death and move on comfortably with this huge insurance payout. He was going to go to Mexico afterwards. The man he killed, he said, was a fucking complete stranger to him. He hired him from an employee agency in Lodi under the pretense of fixing a

broken windmill. Windmill? Yeah. And when he got there out of the car, fucking Kells just straight up shoots him in the back with a 32 revolver. No one else can fix windmills. He kills the one fucking guy in the West Coast. So the man doesn't fucking even fall down when he gets shot. So he gets, so Kells grabs a heavy iron bar and hits him over the head a couple times and kills him. I'm sorry. He gets shot and then just stands there. He groans a little, but doesn't fall down. No. I know. This poor dude. It's like, yeah. He's like the original Craigslist killer. Right. You know what I mean? He did it first. That's right. And without Craigslist, so try that. You know? He puts the man in the car, put a blanket over him, drives around for

several hours, eventually buys some gasoline, goes to the hayfield, and lights everything on fire and puts his keys in shit in his pocket. Fakes his death. But he maintained that he never, ever tried to get it. Wasn't going to get the insurance when he for himself. He wanted his wife to get it. It was for her, which is like, okay, but don't kill people, dude. And so everyone gets fucking pissed when they hear about the fact that he did this. He's a cold-blooded killer. The guy, they were like mourning in 3000. People were like at his funeral eating cold cuts, crying. And now they're like, oh shit. This ham is so delicious. Now they're like, ugh, never eat ham again. Yeah. 400 people went vegetarian that year.

Lodi is the origination of all veganism. That's right. You wouldn't expect it, but it's true. Fun fact. Okay. So fucking meanwhile, Mrs. Kells, whose name I couldn't find, this poor fucking woman is about to give birth to a baby, finds out that her husband isn't dead. He's a murderer. This shit loses her shit in the way only 1920s women can. I'm sure there was a lot of fainting carrying on. Did she just like stagger in the streets, like weird eyeliner? Yeah. She's just like losing her shit. Saying my baby, my baby, even though the baby's right in front of her. Yeah. So she gives birth. She's in so much grief that her eight-year-old daughter is sobbing at her bedside, being like, mommy, I need you. And she's like, I can't. She like straight can't do

all this poor fucking woman. So she falls unconscious all the time, all this shit. Truly. Just around the house? Yeah. Yeah. And then, so two days after his rest, he's indicted by a grand jury. The man who he murdered wasn't immediately identified. There's no records at the time, of course. And migratory workers pass through Lodi all the time. So eventually they discovered his name was Ed Mezervay. And Mrs. Kells survives the birth of her child. And she fights through his trial to save his life. But he gets sent to die eventually by hanging. The day before his hanging, his wife spends an hour and a half in a hysteric conversation with him, weeping and begging her husband not to leave her. He's like, it's not my choice. He can't do anything about it.

Yeah. Should go back and not have killed that dude. That'd be great. And he tries to leave a couple of times. And I'm sure he's like, get me out of here. And it's like, it's hard enough. Yeah. So she screams when she has to be like carried out of the fucking Folsom prison. And she is put on bed rest at home. A nurse tends to her at all times since her screams disturbed the entire neighborhood. Oh, no. Although I like the idea of bed rest and a nurse all the time. Just not the constant screaming. I wouldn't scream. I wouldn't need to scream. Yeah. Her children are placed in the care of friends because she can't stop screaming. I know it's real sad. So the guards who were watching over Kells before he was hanged said that he was unemotional.

He lit a cigarette as soon as his wife left and picked up his Bible then towards told the guards, I'm ready. He like wouldn't eat his last meal. He was just like, let's get this over with. Jesus. I know. Well, he's a butcher. He's very, you know, he knows how it goes. Uh, that's him. Oh, hold on. Oh, uh-huh. That's him. What's up? It looks like DeNiro, doesn't it? That's his wife. Oh, Jesus. That's the screamer. Yeah. That baby's like, you should hear her scream. It's insane. I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. I can't put her down. I tried to give her a warm bottle. She won't take a pacifier. Oh my God. So 40 men gathered to watch him hang. He smiled at everyone as they threw the noose around his neck.

Uh-oh. And at 10.16 a.m. on January 24th, nope, January 4th, 1924, Alexander was hanged and died. And that is the Lodi Haystack murder. Whoa. What? No, the twists and turns. Like, so he purely just was trying to get out of debt. Yeah. Or get his wife out of his debt. So he killed some stranger. What a dick. Maybe she was, um, she found like his checkbook and then she started screaming then. And then he's like, I have to end this somehow. Oh, yeah. Call the windmill guy. Probably just already screamed before that. Um, hey, shall we just stay here? Oh, you're going to do your dance? So, hey, guys, so guys, you know, uh, I do, I do want to tell you, Sacramento. Uh,

thank you, Vince. Vince Saverill, everybody. Vince Saverill. Tour manager, husband. Okay. I thought you were screaming because I couldn't think of what to say. Um, you know, I've, uh, I've talked very openly and honestly about my real feelings to you. It's upset you at times. And, uh, yeah, there's, there's definitely lots of people who don't like it and have been unhappy about it. And so because of that, we thought we would bring you a little surprise. It's our way of saying thank you for the, you know, letting us have our fun at your expense. Thank you for your postcard writing, uh, uh, campaign. Thank you for being on the local news. Thank you for driving in from Reno and from Turlock and wherever else, every other city

that we've named tonight. Thank you for being supportive. Um, we love you too. And here's our way of proving it. Ladies and gentlemen, Paul, Paul. You don't want to leave it up? Okay. Hi. I'm nervous. I know. Uh, so yeah, we wanted to, we flew him in. We had to hide him all day. We had the mustache, fake mustache on. We were scared he'd get recognized at the airport. Oh God, I'm nervous. I know. He's really nerve-wracking. Absolutely. So we were, yeah, welcome.

Um, thank you very much. Now listen, yeah, you're there bono, you know, you're a true rock star to these people who love true crime so much. You used to live nearby, right? I actually lived in Bakkerville. Never before has anyone cheered for back. That's probably true. Now we thought it would be kind of fun if we, uh, if we asked you what your hometown murder is. So what got me involved in true crime? Yeah, we just want, we just want to hear you talk about stuff and like whatever you feel like talking about, or whatever. So I'm probably going to date

myself a little bit, but what actually got me involved in true crime is an old TV show called Quincy. Right. You know, so I, I grew up and I went to college thinking I was going to become a forensic pathologist. So I thought I was going to go to med school and use medicine and science to solve crimes. Come on. That's harassment. That's don't objectify him. We like your mind, Pa. We like your mind. I'm okay with it. You know, but, but my grades in college weren't very good. Near the horrors. Well, there we go. Right. You know, and then eventually, you know, I did graduate at least and I found out, I found out about this, this field called criminalistics, which back in 1990 was a brand new field. And I thought that sounds cool because I could do crime scene investigation.

I could do the scientific work and I could try to solve crimes that way. You don't have to be in like a morgue all day. No, you know, and thank God I didn't go that direction because I've been in the morgue a lot and that is not very fun. I would be going nuts if I was in the morgue every single day. It smells, right? It smells. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember your first crime scene? Do you remember your first crime scene? You know, I do remember my first crime scene and sort of the backstory is, is when I first started, I was a drug analyst and we were getting what we call bunk dope, fake dope that people were selling on the streets to make money. And this is how you get yourself killed. And what I was seeing is, is was this combination of this wax with a detergent.

Well, the detergent caused a false presumptive test for cocaine. So when somebody on the street was testing it saying, oh, it looks good. And then they would pay money and then they'd walk away with this fake dope. Well, then I go out to my first homicide scene and it's in this very, it's an unincorporated area in Contra Costa County called North Richmond. Really? Come on. Drug dealers. And in the mid 90s, this is an extraordinarily violent region in Contra Costa County. And I'm going out to this homicide scene and the victim had been transported. So his body was gone, but where he had been killed was right outside this mobile home in the backyard

in North Richmond. And half of his brain was actually laying on the path. But then I went inside the mobile home and up on the stove top was a pot full of wax and detergent. He was the one that was kicking, that was cooking the bunk dope. And the street has a way to set itself straight. And they went and they killed him. And so the next day I was at the morgue and I'm looking at the guy that I had seen, you know, through his product with the bunk dope. And there he is laying on the gurney. And that's the day you stopped doing dope? I swore off dope at that point. That's right. Thank God. Finally. That's right. That's right. What? I feel like we really want to talk about the Golden State Killer quite a bit.

But I know that you've talked about it a lot, so we don't want to like do all the usual. But like, do you have a, do you have a specific like memory or a, do you have a story maybe you haven't been able to tell on any of these channels that you could tell us? We won't tell anyone. We will not. Phones down. Cameras down. Secret time. Or just something like just a weird, interesting, do you think about like, does it still hit you that you guys caught him? All of you guys caught him. And you're calling each other on like a phone tree and are like, you guys, this is bananas. Yeah. I did it. You know, there is still that aspect going on where it's like, we finally saw this case, you know, because it's been, it was so, you know, I spent 24 years, you know, on that case.

And then the team, the team, you know, we had a task force and these are great investigators across the state. And then we had a team that helped with the genealogy aspect. And going into that, you know, we, we had optimism, but we had no idea, you know, that it was actually going to work. And it really wasn't until I got that initial phone call where it was like, Paul, you can't tell anybody about this, you know, that, that the DNA was, was matching up that it was like, you know, after 24 years, it was a huge, oh my God, you know, finally figuring out that we got to that point. You know, in terms of the, the untold stories of the Golden State Killer, there, there are so many, each of us investigators have invested so much time of our lives in that case that,

that we all have different stories. I know for me, you know, it was just the frustration of constantly finding somebody that I thought was the guy. And, and, and in some instances, I would spend like the first guy that I was like, this is the guy, I spent two years trying to find him, two years of my life going, I've got him only to finally find him. And then eliminate him with DNA. And it's like, I just wasted two years of my life. And then I get onto a next guy. And I spend a year investigating this guy, trying to get his DNA. And then he's not the guy. Did you ever like give up for a little while? Oh yeah, you know, it's one of those things, you know, you get to where, oh my God, I just spent all this time and it's not the guy, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. You

know, and you, you push away, you know, and that's, that's where you uncork that bottle of wine. And, and, and I would just drown myself in my sorrows thinking, you know, I'm just, I'm, I don't know what I'm doing on this. I'm fooling myself. You know, I need just to move on to other cases that I've got. Thank you. Don't talk while Paul Holes is talking. 24 years of that. Come on. I think a good question is, who's going to play you in the movie? You know, since it's just been a crazy experience, you know, just the timing. I retired, technically I retired at the end of March, but because I ended up being on this, this Megan Kelly show on the Golden State Killer with Jane Carson and Debbie Domingo. We're not talking about her tonight. She doesn't, let's just pretend

it's a different show. I know it's kind of a touchy topic right now. Not the best at all. Say it was Oprah. Let's say it was Oprah. It was Oprah's show. It's a better story. Right. Yeah, but so I ended up taking some vacation so I could get out to New York so I could support the two victims in the Golden State Killer case, but I had been at this guy's house, this Joseph DeAngelo's house the day before. And so now I'm, you know, on TV, a nationwide audience, you know, talking about this unsolved case going, maybe, you know, I know who this guy is. So, but since that time, you know, with the three weeks after retirement and then we ultimately proved that he was the Golden State Killer with DNA, direct DNA samples that were collected from him, it's just been a surreal

experience and my life has just been just like this, just crazy. We had it. Pretty crazy. Yeah. Very strange. Do you have anything that you want to plug or things that are coming up that you want to tell these guys first? Well, you know, I, as I tell, I'm just a retired county employee. But I do have some things that are coming up, you know, I signed a contract with Oxygen, I got several projects going on with Oxygen. And we get 15% of that. We can talk about that, absolutely. As well as Audible has decided to do a podcast, which is going to primarily focus on sort of my story that has never been told, you know, sort of my, my frustrations, my sort, my adventure as I was trying to move through this case. And so that is going to come out

November 15th. Cool. Very cool. Can we suggest that Paul Giamatti plays you? Just putting it out there. He can do it all. Just a thought. I'm open to anything right now, really. And then just like, what's it like, what kind of dance do you like? It's your favorite sandwich. Tell them about you as a person. So music that I listen to. Come on. What's your like, you're trying to get pumped to solve a really old crime or go jogging or whatever? What's that fan that you put on? Oh my. So if I'm working out, if I'm running, if I'm lifting, it's got to be the hard rock. You know, it's, you know, today, you know, it's, it's disturbed. It's God smack. What? Slipknot? Do you like slipknot? You know, no. Okay. All right. However, I've listened to this Corey Taylor

who, who actually has amazing talent, you know, and for me, music has to be melodic. I'm not into that. It's got to be melodic. But what about masks? Because they have great masks. Yeah, but I have a concern about people who hide behind masks. Very good point. You guys. Good one. Cool. Well, thanks for coming out to Sacramento for us. We, we emailed Paul Holes and we were like, can you help us please make Sacramento like us? Please. We're even now, right? We're good. But also, you know, you're talking about like your life changing so much. And like, when we started this podcast, like Golden State Killer was the first, one of the first stories we covered, it's been in our minds, obviously, in your guys minds being

from up here for so long. It's like this crazy cloud and this kind of like creepy thing that's just been hiding in the background. So it's the idea that, that not only that it got solved, but then that the person that solved it, we get to like talk to and email it is so awesome. It's just so cool. It really is. Well, you know, I think it's cool because, you know, during the, the last year, the case was getting a lot of media attention. And one of the, the shows was aired that I was on and the producer of that show called me saying, Hey, there's this podcast. It's called My Favorite Murders and they're talking about you. You might want to listen to it. No, don't do that. Yeah. Oh, God. But, but, but aren't these two amazing women right here?

Yeah. Thank you. Paul Holes, everybody, from us to you, from us to you. Thank you. How did I look? How did I make that? Huh? Did I have anything on my face? You're good. Do I look weird? No, you're good. Holy shit. Sacramento. It has been so hard to keep that a secret for you guys. But thank you guys for giving us the benefit of the doubt that we didn't even have a present for you and you're still here and nice to us. Yeah. So thank you for supporting like supporting the shit out of us. Yeah. We, we are thrilled that you guys demanded that we come in spite of everything. And we are thrilled to be here with you and we are so grateful for this situation

that basically you guys have put us in. We are having truly the time of our lives doing this thing where we get to talk about this thing we're all, we've all been fascinated by for years in secret thinking that nobody else will understand and nobody else will like us if we talk about it. And now suddenly we all get to fucking fly our flag as much as we want to. And it's the best feeling. And it's a great feeling to see you guys all find each other and become friends and start these meetups and like we, it's just, it's fucking crazy. It's real. It's crazy that we get to have Paola Holes and the people who do this kind of thing like talk to us. Yeah. Instead of going, you guys are weird. It's like amazing. We're so lucky. I can't believe this

is our life. Yes. So thank you. Thank you for giving that to us. We're genuinely so grateful. We'll do our best not to embarrass you. I'm just so glad it got so much better since I moved out of Sacramento. Thank you, Sacramento. We love you dearly. Honestly, stay sexy and bye you guys. Hi. Hello. It's Georgia and Karen and we are excited to tell you that we are launching our new podcast network exactly right. Yes. We're very excited to tell you guys about it. We've chosen a bunch of shows with specifically with murderinos in mind and we can't wait for you guys to hear them. There's going to be more true crime. There's going to be comedy. There's going to be cat stuff and more and a lot of very, very special hosts. Very special hosts and then

at the end of this month, we are going to announce the details of these, the first slate of shows for exactly right. Yeah. So stay tuned for that. And in the meantime, you can start following me exactly right on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. And please sign up for the newsletter at exactlyrightmedia.com. You guys, we're becoming podcasting moguls. Join us. Oh my God. It's exciting. We're so excited. Goodbye. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered. Bye. Bye.